I’m really ticked. I just ran into a beloved little sister in the faith on my way to work when I stopped off at a grocery store to grab a few things. She and her family are nearly being eaten alive by the enemy. Honestly, we stood right there in plain sight near the vitamin aisle and ratted on the devil and shook the family tree for some fresh truth. As big tears rolled down those cheeks, she said one thing so emphatically that it seared straight into my bones:
“I was just thinking about you this morning, Beth. And I’ve just gotta know: have you been here?”
Where exactly did she mean by here? In that place where the enemy seems to leave NOTHING untouched. Nothing unmangled by his crushing iron jaw. The scene of the onslaught. Where Satan seems to systematically and patiently and daily and hourly go for you – heart, soul, and body, and for everything and everyone you hold dear, and for all you know – that you know – that you know you believe. That season where you can’t seem to recover because every time you start to get back up, something knocks you down again. That season that you really do begin to believe will absolutely kill you…and, in some respects, it does. It kills the old you. If allowed to, it stones to death the Goliath within every David, one welting throw after another. Welcome to the sifting zone where Satan gets so much leash that he rips to bloody shreds everything he can get his paws on…but what is really real. What is really left behind when we are stripped bare of all our earthly security and fleshly confidence.
Have I been there, my beloved little sister?
Let’s see. How loud can I say this?? I HAVE BEEN THERE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! BOY, HAVE I EVER BEEN THERE!!!!!!!!!!!!!
And part of me survived. And part of me died.
And the part of me that died, as painful as it was, needed to.
And when it tries to resurrect it’s ugly, deformed, decayed head, I remind it that it is dead, lest it need another killing. Because I don’t want another killing.
I don’t mean my baffling tendency to sin is dead. I deal with that old nature everyday. I can still – almost out of nowhere – vacillate furiously between self-love and self loathing until I’m so dizzy I could regurgitate. But that joint victim and victimizer in me, that violent inner working nurtured at the breast of deceit and raised in sickness with a bent on self-destruction, took what still appears over many years to be a fair beheading.
YES. I have been there. And it was so awful I still well remember almost to the detail. And this morning I was glad I did because my little sister in the faith – a MIGHTY woman of God – needed to hear it.
I got in that car so mad at the enemy and at this brazen, hateful world that I made a bee-line straight to work and clicked the words “new post.”
Big sisters, our little sisters need some encouragement. They need to know we’ve been where they are. Even if they’re not in a season of hell on earth. Maybe their house just smells like one huge dirty diaper. Maybe they just need a nap. Maybe they need a job. God alone knows exactly and truly what they need from Him but this WE can know they need from us: encouragement! And, by God (and I mean that), we are going to give it to them.
Here’s what we’re going to do today. You who are 39 and under get to tell us where you could use some encouragement. You who are 40 and older and willing are going to give it to them. Here’s how it’s going to look:
If you are 39 or younger, you’re going to start your comment with “Your little sister here: …”
If you are 40 or older, you’re going to start your comment with “Your big sister here: …”
Here are the ground rules: (I’m going to warn you. When I’m furious, I can get into a bossy frame of mind and I’m there right this second. But, look at it this way. I’m beside myself in your behalf so humor me.)
Little sisters, don’t snow ball with every irritating, annoying, frustrating thing or relationship in your life. Get pretty quickly to the bottom line. I’m thinking about someone I really do love so much and want to encourage and help when at all possible but her emails to me are so long and about so many things going wrong and so many people going awry that by the end of it, all I can do is throw up my hands and say, “I am so overwhelmed, I have no idea where to begin!” Try, as much as you know how to tell us, to articulate what is really wrong. The real bottom line. Also, please look throughout the post for encouragements that may help you and keep in mind that what the big sisters write to one, they extend to all. Don’t be offended if no one speaks directly to you. Every encouragement is meant for every one of you.
Big Sisters, today is for encouraging our little sisters and that’s all. I know you have problems because I’m about your same age and I have a truckload of them. But you and I have lived long enough to know that we’re going to make it and that God IS going to be faithful and He is INDEED going to bring beauty from ashes and He will most certainly, given enough time, work every single detail out for our good and His glory. No complaining from us today. This post is a N0-Whine zone for big sisters. Life and the devil are eating our baby sisters alive. Let’s GET UP in their behalf, encourage them, and draw out our swords and fight for them. As often as you can, make your comment to all of them instead of just in reply to one of them. There will be exceptions, of course, but it’s crucial that we edify them across the board. They could all use it. You can talk to them or pray for them in your comment. Both are so Biblical and so right.
Now, listen, Little Sisters. One more thing from Big Sister with the big mouth. Get your tails in the Word. I mean it. Get your tails in the Word. NO TIME OFF. Read it aloud when you can’t absorb it or concentrate on it. Get yourself some accountability. Call upon the Lord, who is worthy to be praised and so shall you be saved from your enemies. Every morning.
One last thing. I left my beloved little sister with an assignment this morning and with the accountability to let me know she’s doing it. I’m going to give you little sisters who are feeling devoured the exact same one: memorize Psalm 25. Every word of it. Don’t tell me you can’t. Yes, you can. Get it printed out, laminate it, and memorize it. Say it over and over and over again. Start today. We can cheer you on and we can fight for you but we can’t fight instead of you. This victory is YOURS. The battle is meant to bring plunder directly to your personal life and family line or God wouldn’t have allowed it. Get up and fight.
Psalm 25.
I mean it.
I’m going to be asking you about it.
OK. I’m sorry for the bossy tone but I am so mad on behalf of you, our baby sisters, that I’m bruising this keyboard.
Now get busy, Girls. I have to be out of the office for a little while several times today so if we go a few hours without any comments moderated, have no fear, I’ll get back to it and get your encouragements posted.
I love you.
Little sis here…first time responding to Beth’s blog. I found out May 2011 my husband had several affairs from 2006-2008. I decided to stay with my husband, but now, a year later, all of this anger, bitterness, betrayal and shame is coming up in me again. The sad part is that I started to take it out on God as well as my husband. Fortunately I was lovingly reminded of Psalm 73. I just need help letting go of all these negative feelings and leaving them at the foot of the cross.
Big Sister Billie here–love and praying for you Sister.
Billie,
This has happened in my marriage but it was only a one time thing but it still hurt me very bad. For several years the day it happened and the day it came out in the open were very bad days for me. Satan used those days to keep me captive for a very long time.
One year at a youth retreat, I totally gave it all to God and my husband and I told our children (which were teenagers now) all that had happened. I can’t express the freedom that I felt from that time on and Satan did not have me in bondage no more(this all happened about 8 years later). Now, our marriage is great and he is my best friend.
If I could give you any advice, it would be take one day at a time and to be totally honest with God and your husband how you are feeling. Allow God to be your life source and He will start to work in your life where you will be able to offer true forgiveness to your husband. There is a difference in saying “I forgive you” and having true forgiveness. When you have true forgiveness in your heart then Satan does not have a hold on you. I will be praying for you and if you need someone to talk with please send me an email ([email protected]).
All is grace,
Karen
Little Sister here.
I have to confess that even as I read the instructions a shadow of shame came over me. I thought to myself, I am almost considered a “big” sister and I haven’t even started life. What a LIE! and yet, it was the first thing that came to my heart. Even as I type it, my eyes are filling with tears. And so, one thing that I have learned in this season of life is to say it how it is and speak HIS truth into it. It IS a LIE. IT IS A LIE! And God has GOOD things for me! K, as a single woman craving companionship, touch, and love…. I battle with the human emotional desire and put one foot directly in front of the other. Thank you to several other big sisters who spoke into another little sister’s similar journey. Hope for us singles is such an encouragement…..
Big Sister herer, and yes IT IS A LIE. Your life doesn’t start when you are married. Your life started the moment you accepted Jesus as your Savior! I have been and continue to be “where you are” even after 45 years. Yes, the love a Godly man would be wonderful, but the love of my Savior is better. Praying for you (and for myself too)that the desires of your heart match the desires of God’s will.
Big sister here and proudly memorizing Psalm 25, thanks to you boss lady Beth. In the last year I separated from my husband, had to support a five year old completely on my own and had to fight a custody battle in divorce court that brought me to my knees on many occasions. This last week God handed me a victory in that custody battle that only He could provide. I was going up against my soon to be ex husband and his attorney all on my own. Before I left the house that morning I read David’s words before he faced Goliath and grabbed on to them with all my might. I prayed with my mother and dear sister in Christ and as if God was in that court room arranging the pieces in ways only He can the victory fell into my lap and I walked out of that court room praising God loudly on the streets, passerbys could not possibly understand. Your God is faithful, even when it is at its darkest He is right there working things out. He still performs miracles of the turning water into wine variety. Believe it! I got me a TESTIMONY!! Be blessed and encouraged – memorize scripture and don’t give into the thoughts of the enemy; chase it away with your prayers and your God will deliver you.
Little sister here- I’ve been reading this blog for encouragement and boy you have encouraged me. I, too, am in a custody battle for my 5 year old son. In fact, we go to court Friday and again in a week or two. I surely do not see how this can go well, but I’m trusting fully in MY God to bring about what is best for my son. Truly, I have his best interests at heart, but unfortunately, my ex (and his mother) do not. To them, punishing me is more important. Thank you for your testimony, Michele!
Little Sister here, struggling with the last few weeks of pregnancy, and a husband who is depressed and doesn’t take his medication regularly. He’s begun to turn his frustrations and disappointments toward me and I don’t feel that I have anything left at this point to counteract his negativity and disrespect toward me. I have a 2 1/2 yr. old and a 1 year old, so I’m tired. I want my husband back.
Christy – Big sister here. You can’t fix your husband – only pray for him and trust God to redeem him. In life we are going to be failed by others – God is the one one that will NEVER fail us. You are in my prayers – you and your babies.
Big sister here….Oh sweet Mama Christy. I bless you with peace today. I bless you with knowing your Jesus sees. I bless you with strength to hold on. I bless you with time to memorize Scripture as Beth has suggested. I bless you with knowing He is for you and your husband. I bless you with the knowledge on how to get your husband help. Seek first the Kingdom. God loves you. I am praying and will continue to hold you up to the One and Only. Cyber hugs from one who understands. God Bless Your Heart. Gigi
Big sister here – I felt as though my husband didn’t like me until months after our 6th child was born. It was awfully sad. He loved me with agape love and eros love but we lacked the “phileo” I yearned for in a marriage. Through deep prayer and some depression on my part, God did a miracle. He gave us a new marriage in the ashes of the old one and we’ve recently celebrated our 38th anniversary.
Little sister, my heart goes out to you. Your husband needs to “man up” and help you raise those children! However, my heart goes out to him, as well. It can be overwhelming for a man to realize his responsibility in providing for a young and growing family and to meet his wife’s needs, especially now, as you are getting ready to have your third baby. Believe it or not, having three “babies” (not counting your husband :))is easier than having two, at least that’s how it worked for me. Our third son was the happiest baby! You’ll find you have more time with your new infant than you did with the last one simply because the siblings will be able to entertain one another at least a little bit! Dear girl, I pray you’re able to claim your inheritance from the Lord and know you’re worth the respect due a child of the King. Pray for your husband when his eyes are cast inward. Pray for yourself (and we will, too!) that you’ll find patience for even him, during this difficult time.
Dear Christy,
Big sister here. I loved my husband very much and he suffered with clinical depression. Depression hurts every one.. is he saved? I can tell you this what helped me survive take care of yourself. Be in God’s word as much as you can, be prayed up about your husband ask God for wisdom and direction. Find a Christian counselor or an older lady in your church in who you can confide. And get involved in his treatment know his issues, know what medicines make him feel up or down. Go to his appointments and share your feelings but do all this with an attitude of love and respect and let God lead you. There is hope. I will be praying for you.
Little sister here… I have been struggling with fear of rejection – the roots go way back but the struggle has gotten worse in the last 18 months. I struggle with what to say in conversation, try to be friends with those who could care less and am confused regarding if I have the skills/gifting needed for a potential job.
Big sister here…Megan, I think every woman can empathize with your struggles. Beth even wrote a wonderful book about this called “So Long Insecurity” which reading and working through it can produce a lot of healing. I am just finishing a book called “Search for Significance” which also deals with this very subject.
Please remember this…our Heavenly Father loves YOU, just as you are! He was the one who created you just as you are (Psalm 139:13-16), He loves you so much that He was willing to send His Son to die for you (Romans 5:6-8) and Jesus is so in love with you that He wants to have you come live with Him some day (John 14:1-3).
We try to impress other people, try to be who they think we should be, and that just causes us pain. It is basing our worth on our works-what we do and say, not on WHO GOD SAYS WE ARE. You are a child of God, you are PERFECT in His eyes. You are created to fulfill a purpose, that only you can fulfill and he has brought you to this point in life so you can answer His calling! I would encourage you to spend as much time as you can in His Word, there is so much love and reassurance there and maybe consider reading one of the books I mentioned. (and read Psalm 25!)
Be bold, be confident, because you are AWESOME…God said so…
Big sister here….
To my Little sister Megan….
I speak God’s truth into your heart, mind and spirit. God sees your gifts and talents because He gave them to you. He created you for a purpose for such a time as this. His plan for you is good! I pray your eyes see you as God sees you–precious, righteous, adored. Jesus was sent just for you. He was rejected so you don’t have to be. Peace my sister. Trust in His Word for you that says “you are fearfully and wonderfully made.” psalm 139. He will never leave you. Jesus is your friend and He died for the broken hearted. Be still and know that He is God and He is for you. Me too. Gigi
Your little sister here (18):
I was raped about a year ago and I ended up getting pregnant. I kept my daughter, but being a single, young mom is scary and I constantly fear that I am not going to be able to be a good mom or provide for my daughter. I’m so scared that I’m going to do something wrong. Also, I feel like so many people who don’t know the situation think badly of me for being a mom so young and being unmarried. I absolutely love my daughter, but I hate this situation so much!
Big sis here…
Dearest Ariana,
First I must say how much I adore your name!!
You, sweet little sis are an inspiration! Not many would have the courage and conviction to do what you have done. Praise our incredible Savior for giving you the strength and courage to keep your precious daughter in spite of such trauma!
Not be a good mom??? Are you kidding??? You already are one of the best Mom’s I know of! I don’t even know you, but I can tell you, beyond a shadow of a doubt, you are and will always be an incredible Mom! How do I know this? Because you have already shown such sacrifice beyond your young years. You’ve got this little sis! Never worry about what others may think, keep loving and nurturing that precious bundle of joy for the rest of your days and see how the Lord blesses you for it.
I am nobody and I believe in you. Just imagine how the Lord of all creation feels about you. He’s nuts about you!! He will see you through each and every step of this journey. He will lead you to incredible women of faith to help you down each new path you encounter. He will be your strength when life gets tough. Remember little sis, YOU ARE A CHILD OF THE KING!!
May God bless you Ariana and that precious (very blessed) little girl of yours.
In His embrace,
Toni
Big Sis here…
Ariana..sweet, sweet girl. You are ALREADY so brave. Brave both for what you’ve been through and for having the courage to post about it. I think all moms think they are going to do something wrong and wonder what others may think of them, yet few have the courage to admit it. I have 2 young children myself, one of whom is a special needs child, and I’m telling you it can be a struggle. But GOD is there to help! Only He can give you the strength, courage, and wisdom you desire, so do as Beth says and get into his Word and let him talk to you. Here are some verses to get you started:
You, yes YOU, are God’s precious child. His Word says so: “How great is the love the Father has lavished on us, that we should be called children of God! And that is what we are!” 1 John 3:1 NIV
He thinks you are beautiful: “The king is enthralled by your beauty.” Psalm 45:11 NIV 1984
He is with you always and holding you close:
“So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.” Isaiah 41:10 NIV
“I, the Lord, have called you in righteousness; I will take hold of your hand.” Isaiah 42:6 NIV (I particularly like this one because my earthly father abandoned me at 3, but I KNOW that my true Father has got me, his little daughter, by the hand at all times.)
“But Zion said, “The Lord has forsaken me, the Lord has forgotten me.”
[The LORD replies:]“Can a mother forget the baby at her breast and have no compassion on the child she has borne? Though she may forget, I will not forget you! See, I have engraved you on the palms of my hands; your walls are ever before me.” Isaiah 49:16-18
“Do not fear, for I have redeemed you; I have summoned you by name; you are mine. When you pass through the waters, I will be with you; and when you pass through the rivers, they will not sweep over you. When you walk through the fire, you will not be burned; the flames will not set you ablaze.” Isaiah 43:1-2 NIV
Read all of John 13-16!
“I have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world.” John 16:33 NIV
Jesus was sent to free us. His “job description” is foretold in Isaiah 61, and Jesus himself later quotes that Isaiah passage in an early sermon (Luke 4). In John 4:34, after his encounter with the Samaritan woman, he explains to his disciples that “My food,” said Jesus, “is to do the will of him who sent me and to finish his work.”
Jesus WANTS you to come to him. He invites you: “Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light.” Matthew 11:28-30 NIV
Ariana, I will be praying for you and your daughter. May God bless you and comfort you.
Ariana, I’m 20 years past the point you are at now. It’s been tough, but every day that has been tough, I’ve reminded myself that God knew exactly what he was doing when he formed my son in the midst of the most horrendous of situations. Not one breath is ever wasted. Keep your chin up darling girl, it does get better!
Kylabeth,
Big sister here. Your life sounds like my life for over 20 years. I was married to a sex addict. I found so much healing and help at Heart to Heart in Colorado. If this is the bumpy road your life on my heart breaks for you. God is able and there is healing, hope and a blessed future. God promised me to bless me abundantly and I know that is a promise I can take to the bank even when my account is empty. God provides, heals and blesses those that trust in Him. Pray over everything and every area of your life. Leave it all in God’s hands even if you have to do it ever 5 min. when your fear and worry take it back. God’s word is your life line. Open it let Him speak to you through His word I promise He will. Hugs and prayers little sister.
Thank you so much Stacey!
Little sister here: 23 years old. I feel so lost in my life right now, like it’s going in no direction and I’m just wasting it away. I have two boys, a 7 mos and almost 3 yrs. People lecture me all the time that raising them is never a waste, but I don’t feel like they get what I’m feeling or trying to convey. My question to you big sisters is, is there ever a time where you feel like you’re doing what the Lord has called you to do even if it’s just for a season? I want so desperately to be doing what He wants me to and to know and feel that I am working in the Lord’s will for my life. Is that attainable? Or do we walk our whole lives this way, feeling lost and no direction.
Big Sister:Sara: Yes there will be a time even if it is a season that you will be doing what the Lord has called you to do. It may be anything for a short season or something for a long season. He also takes away from what you think is His calling. Hindsight is 20/20. Sometimes you have to look back and see, Yes this is what I was suppose to do and I did it.You have no idea how many people are affected by what you are doing. Your children are precious and His special gift to you. Don’t waste your time thinking there may be more. These children grow up and then they are adults going through their own stuff. Rejoice in what you are doing now.
I don’t know if I am making any sense, but I wish someone had told me years ago that what you are doing NOW is what God has planned for you. You may want something bigger but again looking back you will see how your actions now will have affected someone. Or you may never know. EG: the other day someone told me hold surprised my husband and I talk to each other. With respect and caring. It shocked this person because she sees many times how couples can be with each other. When I heard this I laughed it off, but thinking on it I had a surge of love for my husband. We demonstrated without knowing it how you can be a picture for the world to see. How many other people have our attitudes been seen by others and we never know what they may pick up from that. I am just saying everyday even if it is a boring day is where God wants you to be. I must take my own word to heart sometimes, because I still wonder if He doesn’t have more or better things for me to do. I feel like I am blabbing so Sara, I do hope you get my drift. I wish I had an older women share this with me. Contentment may have come sooner. You are a child of God and He does truly love you…R
Sometimes what you are doing is God’s plan, but it is hard to see what it is until months or years later when you look back with the perspective of time. It is hard to be patient, but often in that time of waiting, you are learning the skills that will be needed in what God has planned. With two young children, it may just be exhaustion making you feel that way. See if you can find a friend also with young children, where your kids can play together at a park in your area and the two of you can talk. A park might be a place to meet some new friends. Sometimes God puts people in our path who can make the burden lighter and give us direction. Maybe trade watching their kids once in a while and having them watch yours, so you both get some quiet time. Just make sure the time is about equal. Sometimes there are bible studies with child care. Maybe in the exploration you will find the direction you are looking for. Hang in there, the direction you seek is worth the wait.
Big Sis here. When I was 23, I was in the opposite place from you. I had started a promising career, but what I really wanted was a husband and a family. I didn’t get that until 11 years later! Why does it seem we are always wanting what we don’t have? How much more simple life could be if we could only learn to enjoy what we have in the present!
I heard Maria Shriver explain her place in life after pursuing both career and marriage that gave me a whole new perspective on things. We must remember that life comes in seasons. As a young girl from America’s most prominent family, she was taught that she could be anything she wanted to be. Therefore, she wanted everything – a successful career, marriage, and a family. She had no problem finding them all. She did, however, find trouble balancing them all at one time. She found that to be truly successful in her career, her family had to sacrifice. For her family to be truly successful, her career had to sacrifice. She had to set priorities. She realized she could have it all, but not necessarily all at the same time. Our culture tries to convince you otherwise, and it will wear you down with defeat and kill everything in the process if you allow it.
Granted, Maria has had her share of heartache in recent years, but she will do well to follow her own advice. Heartache also comes in seasons, and she will have to set priorities to rebuild her life. I predict she will fare well.
Read Ecclesiastes 3:1-10, but memorize verse 11:
He has made everything appropriate in its time. He has also put eternity in their hearts, but man cannot discover the work God has done from beginning to end.
God has an appropriate time for everything in your heart, and He will bring it to pass. You are restless because you have eternity in your heart, but you live physically in space and time. While your heart longs for more, you are limited as a human being. Trust God to bring you into your appropriate seasons. I’m convinced He won’t let you miss them! The fact that you are restless now may mean a new one is approaching.
Ronda, Loved your reply, especially the last part. Beautifully spoken.
Big sis here…..
Sara, when I was 26 I felt much the same way I thought I would be on a mission field somewhere and doing great things for God. What God showed me through those days of what I considered wasting time was that my children were my mission field, for a season. See one day they will no longer be in your home, they will have lives of their own. But make no mistake about it raising your children to be Godly men and women is the most important mission you will ever have.
I was not fortunate enough to get to watch my children grow into young adults because they were called home at the tender ages of 8 and 7. I will never regret the time I poured into them and will savor every moment God graciously gave me with them.
You are doing great things for the kingdom and for this season perhaps you are exactly where God wants you to be, fulfilling his calling in your life for a season.
I will be praying for you sweet sister.
Thank you for your post! I wrote a post much like Sara’s and God really used your reply to encourage my heart! My children are my full-time ministry right now and I need to silence the discontentment with that Truth. Thanks for passing down your wisdom!
Hi. I’m 25 and I have been married for almost 8 years. I have three beautiful children. Satan is trying to destroy my family by destroying my husband. The issues my husband has faced include but are not limited to: drugs, alcohol, pornography, lying, lying, and lots more lying. The last year has been the worst because he no longer acts sorry when something comes out. He says that’s just who he is and he isn’t going to change. He says I should find someone else. I tell him I love him and I believe God can make him exactly the man he is supposed to be even if he doesn’t believe it. But, he is mean and angry and bitter. I want God to make him surrender his WHOLE life to him YESTERDAY! But, I know God has his own timeline. I’m just so afraid my sweet babies aren’t going to have the family they deserve. Eventually they will know their dad is just playing a game and doesn’t really follow Jesus. And obviously I am not perfect in how I handle all of this. I have had 3 miscarriages and this is even more painful than they were. (I never imagined anything could be more painful than my miscarriages but at least I know I will be with them again.) I told my husband that he has hurt me more in the last few months than the 3 miscarriages hurt altogether. And he yelled at me, “THEN MOVE ON.” I’m trying to give God room to work because my sadness and anger accomplish nothing with him. But, it’s hard. I just try to keep telling myself that God WILL restore my marriage.
Little Sister Here,
I am trying earnestly and prayerfully to keep a very troublesome 21 year marriage alive. My greatest struggle at this moment is letting my guard down and having faith that our marriage can survive and thrive. Over the past 21 years I have built up such a wall of anger and resentment, and have learned to live in a protective state of mad, if that makes sense. I thought I built that wall with bricks but as it turns out it’s actually spring loaded. Everytime I try to let my guard down it springs right back up. I am having to tel myself minute by minute to let it back down and let God heal our brokenness and renew our relationship. I also know with every step we take to a better relationship, satans attacks will grow stronger and I, and our relationship our not strong enough to withstand that alone.
Little sister here… I am just weary…and I feel too young to be so weary. Husband is deployed for 5th time in 3 years, heading up a ministry for military families, and 2 small kiddos at home. I want to live intentionally, making the most of every single moment, but this weariness makes it hard to do…God is faithful though and He does renew me, it is just hard to not allow the weariness to take over.
Big sister here…
Catherine, You ARE living intentionally…but you’re so tired and busy you just don’t realize it!!!
Serving God? CHECK. (supporting husband, raising kids, ministry to military families)
Serving your Country? CHECK. (letting husband stay in military, covering the Home Front, helping other wives)
Serving your family? CHECK. (caring for 2 littles alone is a BIG job…and allows your Hero Husband to do HIS job)
Just by your post, God sees your heart and your desire to minister. HE will put those opportunities in your path…you don’t have to go find them all. ; ) Relax a bit, enjoy your kids and those around you, build real-life and online “Siesta” relationships and keep your ears open to His Voice.
And…younger Siestas…much of these years are spent “planting and watering and weeding.” Be realistic about how long a harvest can take…and TRUST GOD for the size of that harvest! I GUARANTEE that if follow Him as best you can…you are making an impact in ways and places you may never even know about.
Little sister here…overwhelmed to send my little guy off to kindergarten.
He has autism.
I have been his fighter, his guide through every minute of everyday, his everything…and to trust so much of his day to someone else, and into the “real world” is going to be hard. God has been faithful in providing for us and working in his little life. He is my joy and it’s just hard to let go.
Hello Julie,i am a big sister,
I am a special educator and just wanted to tell you I am praying for your situation. As a teacher, know that most of us take the gift of getting to work with your young son a privilege and that we want to enjoy him and that we are thankful for parents who are advocates for their children. Praying you find calming peace about him going to school and that you continue to positively fight for and with him for what he needs. One day at a time, Sweet Jesus!
Julie
I can relate to what you wrote. I am a big sister and sent my spectrum son off to K 2 years ago. God has got this Julie!
How he loves your son. How he loves mine. He will put loving people in his path Julie, as he did for my son. The results of my prayers regarding this (and they were simple, heartfelt ones of a momma who was afraid)? He placed us into a school system that stood out front, on the last day of school, and clapped and cheered for the kids. From the principle to the janitor. Cheered for all those kids had accomplished. I sobbed when I saw God’s provision through that staff.
God, send a love team to Julie’s son. Surround and protect her little boy, bringing him into an environment of love and grace. May you wow her with your love for them this year! Amen.
Big Sis here. I feel where you are. My neighbor has a precious nine year old son with autism who will soon enter fourth grade. I work as an educational assistant at the school where he attends. Since he has been clinically diagnosed as autistic, he is entitled to have an EA assigned to him to assist him for most of the school day. The lady who works with him is an extremely loving, and caring individual and perfect for her role. I have also had the pleasure of working with him in one of his classrooms, and I enjoy him tremendously!
Know that God has His hand on your child! Pray for teachers who will be loving, patient, and effective with him. You will need to work closely with them and communicate with them so they will be able to teach him effectively, but you will also have to trust.
Psalm 139:13: For it was You who created my inward parts; You knit me together in my mother’s womb.
God created your child, and He has a wonderful plan for Him! You can trust Him with your precious son! God has already placed him with exactly the right parents to love, protect, and raise him. He will surely place all the right teachers in his midst to educate him!
I pray school will be a very positve experience for you. You will learn even more about him and all of his special giftedness as he learns. His teachers can be an extremly valuable resource to you, and I pray God will give you His very best! Trust Him in this.
At the unexpected pregnancy that brought us another beautiful baby boy to love God began a great work in my heart and life. Leaving a career to be the wife and mother I knew God was calling me to be was a BIG scary decision, but it was the work He was calling me to. He has been so faithful in my journey toward Him and a new life. Three years later I was able to surrender in prayer to whatever His will for my life was. A full time ministry position, more involvement in church activities, a simple part time teaching position at my kids Christian school…I’m ready for your work Father. …he did answer my prayer in a way that I knew was truly from above, yet not even kinda in the way I had in mind – another baby. Just a couple of months from the birth of our fourth child I can’t help but ask God, “what is all this about?” I absolutely believe that motherhood is worth every tear and frustration, but there are just so many of them…I’m seeking the abundant life that Christ came to give us, but these days it feels so far out of reach. Reading Beth’s blog reminds me of His faithfulness once again. It’s the enemy who whispers defeat in my ear. God IS doing a great work in me, just not one that the world will stand up and applaud. Waiting on the Lord is so hard. So is keeping your wits about you during summer break with three little kids and one on the way! Prayers for mothers in the trenches are so appreciated.
Your little sister here: I am at a place in my life where I am struggling with my theology. I have been praying and walking with God concerning my adult ADD struggles. For the past 1 1/2 years I have been praying for God to heal this part of my life. At this point I have not received this healing and am being encouraged to find a medication that could possibly help. Beth, I recently read about your meeting in Colorado. It reminded me so much of my struggle. I have many things I have been able to start, but very few things that I have actually finished . I know God is for the finish. I just want to be able to experience it in some part of my life. Excited to see you soon in Illinois. Really need the encouragement.
Little Sister Here: 2012 started off pretty good. I felt like I was in a good place with my job, family and friends; and with the things I did need direction on, I was actively seeking God’s direction and studying His word. Things were really going well, and slowly I became more focused on my job and friends and didn’t leave as much time for God.
Now I’m in a PIT! A really deep, DARK and lonely one! A friend who I felt so blessed to have in my life…someone who I could discuss things of substance with (God, Politics, Family,etc.) became more than just a friend. The problem here is we are of the same sex. I am so disappointed in myself and very ashamed (Gut-wrenching, constant sobbing, extremely painful shame). I saw the warnings and yet went forward willingly and rebelliously. Now I want to hit the reset button and have the innocence of that friendship back. We both regret it and know that this is not what we want for our lives. And as she said, “I cannot NOT be on God’s side!” I want to love her as a friend, period! I don’t know what to do. I don’t want to go against God but I can’t bear the thought of losing her as a friend either. My feelings aren’t just going away, though that’s what I’ve been praying for. I’m so filled with guilt and fear. I’m afraid that I won’t have the self-control that I long to have and to stay free from my sinful nature! I’ve always wanted to marry a Godly man and have a family. I no longer feel like I could be loved by a Godly man.
Big Sister here–Dear “Another Beth”, God bless you sister for sharing your heart and soul. The enemy is so evil. He attacks our very core and often our sexuality is at the heart of that core. I am praying for you sister. Please cling to Isaiah 62–marry again our Savior Jesus. Get connected to Him and His word. To Him will your land be married. Shame and self loathing be crucified with our Jesus. Turn your face to Jesus sweet Sister! He will heal your wounds gaping and bleeding. He can change our hearts and our tastes. Lord Jesus please minister to Beth. Please comfort her and keep her from danger. Please Lord be with my Sister and bring Light to her darkness. Love and Prayer for you, Billie. (Been there!)
Oh yes, forgot to include this–FLEE. (must separate from source of tempation until healing completely and this issue is UNDER YOUR FEET.)
Thank you for your prayers and words of encouragement, Billie!
This is my 4th attempt to post—what did I do with the other 3 comments? I am a big sister who would not trade where I am in my walk with God for anything, HOWEVER, in the same breath, I do hope that the current prognosis of my cancer returning is not invasive. Our flesh doesn’t want to suffer—not one of us! I want to be at my daughter’s wedding in 3 weeks not in the hospital. To those of you who are suffering or stuck or sinking, my HOPE is found in Words that I just read yesterday in 2 Kings 6:16 “Those who are with us are more than those who are with them.” Elisha knew something we don’t know. And, Elisha prayed that God would open their eyes to see what Elisha sees. Oh God, do it! I’ve been “graced with disaster,” as my friend says, to find my way back home every day. I’ve limped through cancer, rape, abuse, PTSD, betrayal, and lost 6 babies to miscarriage. I’m one of those who are “too much” for people. Elijah felt that way when he wrote: Just let me die! I’ve been there. 2 Kings 2:14 – Where is the God of Elijah? Sometimes the pain is too overwhelming. Make God your goal not eradication of what’s wrong. It’s not about how strong I am—I’m not. Delight in your weaknesses, 2 Cor 12:10. My circumstances, or lack of them, no longer define me. My life isn’t organized around my huge losses. You are wildly loved by a God Who is always doing you good as He says in Jer 33:20—I mean, He did not forget to send the sun up this morning. He has not forgotten you, whatever you face. When was the last time He wasn’t good to you? Even grief is love. I Cor 2:4 – May your faith rest upon the Power of the One Who holds you tight. It’s a Beautiful Energy, Col 1:29, that stirs within you or you wouldn’t even be here reading on this blog. It’s Him here. Live in this present moment—“the unexamined life is not worth living” (Socrates). May the Mighty One raise up your valley, maybe just an inch, and lower that mountain, maybe even a yard, that He may be glorified, Isaiah 40:4—the verse doesn’t say so that our problems are resolved. His Glory! Hold fast in this very tight season and don’t walk Alone. Take a friend with you and let them reason with you James 3:17. James 4:5 says that God yearns jealously over the Spirit that he has made to dwell in you. God is knocking. He’s looking for you, Genesis 3:9.
Bev,
Thank you for your words of wisdom and sharing the love of Jesus. I would qualify as being “too much” for most people, even my mother calls me Job. I’m sorry you are facing cancer again and pray you get to enjoy your daughter’s wedding. She’s blessed to have a mom who loves the Lord.
Big sister to my little sisters….this is a time in our lives where we must make a stand for what is true. The enemy is constantly trying to make us doubt God’s incredible Love and Grace in our lives. Little sisters, please understand that God loves you so much and He is present with us even now as you read this post. In fact, he drew you to Beth Moore’s website to be able to read these loving post from other sisters in Christ. You are not alone! And He is always ready to forgive any sin that you are sorry about. 1John 1:9 IF we confess our sins,He is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness. It truly is that simple. DONE. Then GO forward. Forget the things from the past (Phil3:13) and read God’s word and believe. Grab your Bible and begin to memorize scripture, just like Beth encouraged you to do. Stay in the word and I promise you that will be so blessed!
There are 1200 responses to this post, wow. I think it is amazing and wonderful that so many women just ask for help and so many others give help. You are all wonderful and beautiful. I am a little sister, but I am praying for you all. :)Caught this post a few days late, but tears come to my eyes as I read it. So great.
Little sister here:
God has been leading me to be in a deeper relationship with him. What I struggle with is being faithful to Him and putting Him first with young children at home, husband, renovations, housekeeping, being a Godly wife/mother. How in the world to balance everything and get it all done?!? I’ve been praying about where God wants me in His big picture…my purpose in this world…For us to become a couple who together puts God first, united before God…For our struggling church and if God wants us to continue attending there…For us to have patience with our children through constant “whys” and “mommy!!!” I’ve longed to hear it for so many years and now I hear it more than I can sometimes stand (guilt). Prayer for 2 remaining embryos from embryo adoption and in whose home they should be born. Off to read Psalm 25! Thanks Beth!
Little Sister Here, I am heartbroken in battle with the enemy and feeling so defeated. I do know that God is good and faithful and gracious and merciful, but my mind is so exhausted that I can barely hold together a thought. I need to know that this will end soon. I’m dealing with feeling alone right now and know the enemy is dancing on that fact. I’m going to keep praying and trust God will heal. But I need some encouragement today.
Melissa,
Have been dealing with the same issues lately. Car wreck 8 weeks ago with intense physical therapy. the other day I was so tired of being weary, worn out, exhausted. I came home, put on some praise music and took some medication to help with the physical pain and slept. We run around wanting to be Superwoman and we seriously need to get sleep, exercise, get fed healthy physically and spiritually. He says MY Grace is sufficient in weakness 2cor 12:9…renew your mind daily and take care of you. Tell satan he must flee by the blood of Jesus. Praying for you little sis!
Connie
Thank you, Connie. After reading this, I said a prayer for you as well. Thank you for sharing and thank you for your prayer!
Melissa- here is a prayer from Beth’s book, So long Insecurity that I typed up and put in my bible that I read daily when I feel the way you feel at this moment, it goes like this,
“My Father in heaven, i thank you for the breath this day to give you praise. I thank Yyou for a life where nothing is wasted, a life where pain turns into purpose and Your providence assigns a personal destiny. You will NEVER (I added the caps) allow anything in my path that cannot bring You glory or me and those around me good.
No matter what this day holds, I am clothed with strength and dignity. I have divine strength to overcome every obstacle and all oppression because I belong to Jesus Christ and His Spirit lives within me.
You, Lord are my security. No one and nothing can take You from me. You will keep my foot from being caught in a trap. I choose to turn my back on fear because YOU ARE RIGHT HERE WITH ME. I can smile over the days to come because Your plan for me is good and right.
My heat is steadfast, trusting in You, Lord. In the end, I will look in triumph over my foes, because of You. I MELISSA am secure. In Jesus’ triumphant name, Amen.
(Thanks Beth for changing lives with your words)
I just bought that book today on my kindle. Thank you!
Melissa: Nehemiah 4:20b “…Our God will fight for us!”
Tell God exactly how you feel and that you can’t fight the enemy anymore (you never could anyway) – and claim this promise. God will fight the enemy for you if you will let go, lay your anxious thoughts aside, and rest in God’s word. Sometimes we take too much into our own hands as if it all depends on us. But the truth is that it all depends on God – and He is walking right next to you through this.
It will get better. God promises.
Bless you! Thank you from the bottom of my heart.
Little Sister “in Christ Jesus” here; [even though I chronologically fit into the “big sister category”]
I need prayers and encouragement So much right now, please.
Issues:
1) I am trying to learn “how to grieve” all over again, in Christ; as even though my dear Dad went to live with Jesus,(our Lord & Savior) in Heaven, due to Leukemia 4 years ago; I found out a month ago that my dear friend, and 2nd Dad-figure”, Larry M., passed into Jesus’ arms in May 2012, in the Houston, TX, area [where I met him and lived for several years], due to his short battle with lung cancer. I know and understand how/why losing my “real/biological Dad” was/has been difficult; but since I was not able to even visit my dear friend/”2nd Dad-figure”, Larry, before he passed away, I am hurting all over again . . . [He was 3 years younger than my Dad, and they had a great deal in common with one another, and they even got to meet each other in Houston once, and acted as if they had known one another all of their lives!]. Larry was also the best “older” male friend a lady like me could ever have; likely because he knew Christ Jesus, like my own Dad did . . . And, now, even though “I know that I know” that they are both in Heaven having a great time with Jesus, and one another; [and I know that I will spend eternity catching up with them], and yet, I feel as if I “lost” my Dad all over again. [I met Larry over 14 years ago, and stayed in close contact with him, even since the Lord “called me” to return to my home state of Wisconsin in 2004]. [I don’t know if this will make sense to anyone out there or not ?]
2) I have been struggling with major, on-going, personal health issues, that medication is not yet able to “cure”. Mine is called an “adult on-set tic disorder”, which, in my case, causes my jaw, head, neck, etc. to move involuntarily on a nearly “constant” basis, in one form or another. I had a “sleep study” done regarding these, and/or other sleep related issues, a week ago, and am praying that the doctor’s feedback, and any treatment options will help me to deal with this better.
3) I am still trying to find a [paying] job [even part-time] in the field in which I honestly feel the Lord Himself has called me to do = teaching elementary school aged children. I have been able to teach 2-3 days/wk on a volunteer basis for the past 3 school years in a Christian setting; but have only been able to do so by living with my dear 74 year old mother, who is also a strong Christian. However, my sisters and I are concerned about my future, as well. I need some major spiritual discernment, please, Lord Jesus!
4)And, these issues/concerns have somehow “sent me into a spiral of depression/sadness”; especially since I learned of my dear friend’s passing.
HOWEVER, I have been trying to make every effort to get into God’s Word, and have even been trying to read a book called “Heaven”, by R.A., which is based on Scripture. And, I have been very blessed to receive a study book for the Summer Bible study on Nehemiah, recently.
Thank you for any prayers and encouragement Y’all can offer !
In Christ’s Love,
Jennifer O.
Southern Wisconsin
Little sister here… I’m sorta late to this post, but I thought I’d give it a go anyway. Have any of you ever been or felt “motherless”, “mentor-less”, and “spiritual motherless”??? That’s where I am right now. I feel lost, like I’m not really worth another woman’s time & love. (That’s gotta be a lie, right?) And I’d just really like to know if someone, anyone, would ever care about me enough to actually teach me something… one-on-one… personally… you know? Some sort of close relationship with quality time & love. I’ve been dealing with jealousy a lot lately. Some of my dear friends have the most amazing mothers & spiritual mothers, but I don’t have anyone willing to have that kind of relationship with me right now. I despise jealousy. I know I want my 1st reaction to be happy for my friends when their mothers show them love or support or for the very fact that my friends are so blessed to have such wonderful “mothers” in their lives! I love my friends, I want the best for them! I don’t want to ever feel jealous. I just don’t know what to do with this, and I don’t want to feel like this anymore – alone. Have any of you ever felt that way?
Danielle, I have felt that way! That desire was one of my biggest wishes for years. I felt unloved by God and felt justified in my mistrust of Him. I felt foolish for wanting a mother figure/mentor so much and disappointed much of the time.
God has miraculously provided. No, I didn’t get a mother figure, but in time, He filled that space that was in me. I no longer feel a constant void in that area and the vast majority of the time, my old need is a non issue. God was faithful to me as I was raging in the unfairness of it all (or so it seemed to me).
My advice is don’t allow Satan to turn you away from God. Soak yourself in scriptures (even when you don’t feel like they mean anything at the time) and ask God to keep you on a path of growth. I lost a lot of time in my bitterness on this topic, I pray that you do not. Despite my errors, God performed miracles – as He is and will with you! Some day, you will see how God has provided for you in your specific situation. Try not to leave his side until you witness His provision. How I hope you will learn from my mistake. You are loved!
Thank you.
Big Sister here,
Danielle, I have exactly the same issues! wow! how amazing is that?
I encourage you to do just what Beth Moore and others have said in their posts….get in the Word, lean on Jesus, let Him be your mother, mentor, etc. Your everything! He alone can be trusted with your heart, we cannot really depend on any other human being like we can Him.
And just take one day at a time – it’s so easy to believe we have to have our lives all planned and set for years in the future, but we really can only take one day at a time.
The Holy Spirit WILL teach you one-on-one in a very personal way. Don’t give up on that! I know the yearning for a flesh-and-blood friend to do that with you, but some of us, it seems, have to go it alone for at least a season (but you KNOW we aren’t ever alone if we know Jesus!)
Just keep taking it all to the Cross. He will give you Grace to get through the loneliness, sometimes just a moment at a time. Thank Him for those moments! and I agree….put on some praise music LOUD and chase the devil out! He hates it when we praise the Lord, and God inhabits the praises of His people! Blessings and prayers for your hurting heart,
Big Sister Pam
Thank you for what you said about he Holy Spirit.
A big sister here – I think we have all felt that loneliness and need for a motherly figure in our lives – and yes, even envy at others who seem to have that precious input in their lives. I see a young woman in my circle, yearning, like you, for that mothering/mentoring relationship in her life that she does not get from her own mother. And yes, we do need to be in the Word and to be quiet before our Lord …absolutely! We need to develop and nurture that relationship as a primary part of our daily walk. But it is also a Biblical mandate for us ‘big sisters’ to instruct and encourage and walk along side our ‘little sisters’ (see Titus!) So I encourage you to actively seek out those relationships. And big sisters, I challenge you to seek out, in real life and time, that young woman who needs your encouragement and presence in her life!
Thank you, Glenda, for the Titus reference! I just started a girls bible study for 11 & 12 year old girls last week, while I’m waiting for my mother/mentor/spiritual mother/big sister figure… I’m teaching the little girls what I do know. I know that it’s important. We are having a good time. I feel blessed to be a part of their lives.
Big sister here….
1. Unequally yoked? Read 1 Peter 3 and do it! It works.
2. Mommy of little ones? Never lose sight of how precious your role is as their first and best teacher in life. There is no other job on the planet more important. Having said that, ENJOY your kids because 20 years will go by in a flash.
3. Cultivate your sense of humor – raising a family provides a lot of material:)
4. Cry out to God when you don’t know where else to turn. He’s waiting for you to give it ALL to Him. I’m not a cryer EXCEPT with my God.
Love you, hang in there.
Your Big Sister in Christ,
Sue
Your little sister here is a fairly new wife and also has a position of being a pastor wife. It’s so lonely and requires a lot of sacrifice. My husband wants to church plant and although I know he recieved a vision from the Lord every inch of me is screaming no please I don’t want to go down that path, it’s already hard and I’m just getting better at my role here in this church. I’m crippled with fear and sadness. Funny thing is I pretend and say that I will go wherever God sends me but maybe I clouded my ears to hear Him say go, because I haven’t heard personally. Help :/
Jodie,
My daughter is the young wife of a pastor who is currently in a secular job. Her husband senses the call back into full-time ministry, but my daughter is still feeling the sting from a very unpleasant experience at their former church. They are both praying together and separately for God to direct their path for the next leg of their journey. My daughter, like you, is scared and just a little gun-shy of “church life.”
I will pray for you and your husband whenever I pray for my daughter and her husband.
In Him,
Sue
Big sister here…. Little sisters, I know you are tired. I have certainly been there. I can say that scripture memorization and making quiet time with God every morning has given me a relationship with Him that is life changing. Getting up extra early to make Him a priority is so worth it. Playing scripture over and over in your head all day is POWERFUL. He really does love you. He really does see you. You will make it through. Make Him your desire! Matthew 11:28-30 is a good place to start.
Little sister here…I am struggling with pride. I am currently doing the James study by Beth, and I feel the Lord stiring up some things in my heart that need to be changed. Insecurity rooted in jelaousy rooted in pride. I can see it stealing and squeezing my life from me and I want change, I want my heart to be changed and I know the Lord can do that but I am struggling to believe it or know just what to do to change.
Little sister here….
My Pastors have been encouraging the congregation to dive into the word and journaling, and I might miss a day or two but I try to do it everyday. Since then my spiritual life has been better for it. But the problem I am having is that I want to get more involved in my church but I feel like the door Kees getting slammed in my face. I also want to find friends who want to grow in God and not become dragnet, but I can’t find ladies my age(25ish) that care about anything but appearance. I also am having financial difficulty because of not being able to find a job. I live in IL and the jobs here, like most places are scarce. I know God is working everything out for my good, but sometimes it just gets frustrating. I want to finish college, but I don’t want to be in debt either! I just want to know if there is anyone who knows what I am going through and could give me some advise or something!
Big Sister here – Much love to all you little sisters. Your posts are so heart-wrenching that it’s hard to know what to say – except I’m praying for you. Genesis 32:26 has been my verse in times of struggle. Hold onto Him, and don’t let go until He blesses you.
Little sister here:
Found out my mother had lung cancer in December; she died in March. The grief CONSUMES me and Satan is having a field day/month/year with it. I remain in the Word, but my prayer life is weak. Two months after her passing, I began a month-long emotional affair which almost cost me my marriage of 5 years. What a mess I have made! I don’t think I can ever forgive myself for the hurt I’ve caused my husband. If it weren’t for my children, I’d probably kill myself to escape the guilt and feelings of helplessness. I am in grief counseling, marriage counseling as well as personal counseling at HFBC. I feel stuck in this wilderness. Will I EVER STOP hurting? Will I ever LET God heal my wounds or will I just continue picking the scabs???
Katie Jo,
Little sister here…okay, I’m 39 so barely..:)
My mother has struggled with cancer for the past several years. She is currently cancer-free but the doctors have told her the illness will eventually take her life. I could not deal with this news. Several months into the second round of cancer, I was reading a book that was telling a story about a man who was dealing with an ill parent. It talked about how hopeless he left and out of control to do anything. This was exactly how I felt! The next part changed me. He talked about how God reminded him of the promise, “Rest in me and I will give you rest”. Like the author in the book, I had been carrying the burden of my mothers cancer instead of giving it to God. That is my uplifting word for you…Let God carry your burdens! The pain you feel over your mothers death is something that you simply cannot do alone!
As far as the emotional affair..well, I’ve done worse than that! The aftermath of something like this is a process. The marriage will not heal overnight. However, there is healing and it has already started.
Guilt is not from God! So, when Satan tries to make you feel guilty…put it back in his face..DO NOT CALL UNCLEAN WHAT GOD HAS CALLED CLEAN! You are clean!!! You are forgiven!! Use this experience to minister to those hurting women around you.
Much love!
Diana
Wow have I been in a similar situation. Over a course of 3 months my dad committed suicide, my ex boyfriend surfaced and my love addiction went haywire. That was 5 years ago. YES God and time heals. Trust you can walk through this and you will not always be consumed in the same way. Somethings it seems God allows us to feel to remain dependant on Him. Humble yourself before the Lord and He will lift you up. I’ll be praying for you.
Your little sister here. I am currently coming out of by far the most difficult and terrifying struggle I have yet experienced in my 33 years. My husband, who had an inspiring faith and was instrumental in bringing me back to Christ, suffered a series of devastating disappointments and broken dreams. He rapidly spiraled into a major depression which led to alcohism and was seriously contemplating suicide. Praise Jesus, we made it through and he will be celebrating 4 months of sobriety one week from today. In the process, my husband walked away from Christ and it simply breaks my heart to see him this way. I pray for him every day, and I trust that GOD will bring him back in HIS time, but I feel so helpless in the waiting. It really does hurt to watch this once strong servant of GOD suffer such a painful loss of faith.
I have been living with an alcoholic husband for the past 5 years or so. In April, he went into a treatment program and thankfully has been sober for a little over 60 days. That being said, I still feel like something is broken. I realize it took 5 years to get to this point and it will take more than a couple of months to “fix” it. I am just beginning to feel emotionally and spiritually brankrupt – like my prayers just aren’t quite making it all the way to heaven. I have been trying to be supportive of him and I think I’ve not taken care of myself for too long.
Hi Amanda,
My husband is also an alcoholic. He drank and lied and drank and lied for about 3 years before he finally got honest and got help. What made the most difference for him was Celebrate Recovery. It was heart-wrenching for him to go through it, and for me to watch, but it was immensely healing.
His main advice for me was to not try to “fix him.” In CR, they learned to listen, not fix. That doesnt come naturally, but Im learning to listen.
I have prayed for you, already, Amanda! You are not alone!
Sometimes a Big Sister and sometimes a Little Sister….I was raised to love God in all things. I trusted him, worshipped him and lived an obedient life. I was the epitome of a “good girl”. I was married for 20 years, had a beautiful son and out of no where- i was blindsighted and my husband walked out on me and his 16 year old son and revealed he had been having various affairs for the entire marriage . My life- stopped and pain as I had never imagined settled in for the longhaul. All I had was God but I was angry with him for allowing this to happen. But he was still there- even in the dark moments when I watched my son’s pain surfacing, he was there. When I didn’t have time to deal with my own hurt because I was mowing the yard, washing the car, and trying to explain to my son that God hadn’t left us (and completely feeling like he had)- he was still there. I didn’t think I would survive………..but 6 years later….. I did. There is a light at the end of the tunnel and God holds the switch. I still feel the occassional pangs of rejection, abandonment and the insecurities that the enemy trys to remind me of…….but I now see that he was there and protecting us….all alone. Id like to say that the marriage was saved but it wasn’t and God has conforted me that it’s ok. Sometimes the best for us is a “necessary ending”.and……I don’t mind mowing the yard and I don’t mind washing the car and my son loves God more now than he ever has and I no longer have to remind him that God is always there.
Big Sister here….life will go on, the sun will come up and set….you can scream, cry, rationalize, bargain, do what ever it takes…time will pass and life goes on to another season. I have been through :fill in the blank-I wrote it all, then hit delete. It doesn’t matter. But GOD…and I mean that but GOD. We are all going to go through too much. Even people you look at and think-why is their life so perfect-it isn’t. But GOD, we get to go through the fire and come out not smelling like smoke, we get to go into the lion’s den and live to see another day. Believe it or not there are others out there who need to see us go through this. We can not wear our tears and fears on our sleeves. We can act like we believe GOD. One day in the middle of a mess, that everyone knew was a mess, I had a “sweet” sister give me that “bless your heart” how are you doing (you know the type, right in the middle of just surviving and getting away from the mess and she really wanted to know more about the mess than blessing my heart) and I just smiled and said I was living the dream! Not the reality, but the dream that GOD put in my heart! 🙂 Now, little sisters, I am not that smart or witty, so I decided that must have come from the HOLY SPIRIT! So that became my saying throughout that season. Just live the dream-the one that GOD has given you. Bring the unseen into the seen. Give time to yourself to dream with GOD. Tell on everybody to GOD. Let HIM know how hurt you are. Then let HIM deal with it all. Breathe. That’s really important. Just breathe in and memorize scripture. Yell that scripture at satan when he tries to call. You can walk through your house saying the 91st Psalm-inserting names when needed (surely GOD will deliver_____from the snare of the fowler…)
Love you!
Sue
Sue
Iam a big sister and just went through an emotional crash because of some circumstances. Felt very humbled and down on myself because I should be more mature than all that!! I also have some younger women in my life, including granddaughters, who look up to me as a spiritual mentor/model. The Lord very graciously brought me through, by an encouraging husband and my own times with Him and His Word. The emotional crash stayed private within the confines of my own home. I decided to brouse through these blog posts, which is something I do and don`t post myself. When I read yours….it really impacted me…..your words about “living the God-given dream”….. gave me a visual that I will use for myself, as an older sister, and to pass along to younger sisters in my life. Coupled with other advice (also included in your post)as to reading and memorizing and speaking the Word and the Name of Jesus, for absolutely everything!!….it is a powerful tool! I just really wanted to encourage you and thank you for sharing.
God bless you!!
Also….praying for younger sisters…..God is Sufficient, Enough, Powerful, Able, Willing, and will do all that He has promised. Believing God with and for you!!
lovingly Diane
Little sister here:
We found out in May that after nearly 8 years of trying to have a baby, we cannot have children.
I would love to say that I am “all okay”, but honestly, I am struggling BIG TIME.
I struggle with jealousy/envy/bitterness towards friends who have children.
I struggle with bitterness towards God for not giving me the desires of my heart.
The Lord is changing my heart, but it’s not easy. I just cling to Romans 8:28:
“And we know that for those who love God all things work together for good, for those who are called according to his purpose.”
I pray that the Lord blesses you all this day.
Big sister Kim here. Oh Katie, my heart hurts for you! I have traveled that road and lived to tell the tale but not without scars. Infertility is such a hidden pain and for some reason those of us who deal with it experience shame, but there is no shame in it. I was jealous, bitter, broken, grief-stricken… you name it, I experienced it. At the time the only positive side I could see is that maybe one day God could use my story to help someone else. You WILL live through this. It won’t be easy and you won’t always feel like you’re making progress but one day you will look back and see how far you have come. The day finally came when I could hold a friend’s baby and not be gripped with a paralyzing NEED to have one of my own. Keep clinging to Romans 8:28 – NOTHING we go through is pointless. There is always a plan and a purpose even though we usually can’t see it. When you are ready, you may choose to find other ways to be a parent or important in the life of a child (or children) whether through adoption, fostering, mission work, etc. Only you and your husband can decide if that’s the right path for your family, after much prayer and thought. We chose adoption and there is no doubt that our daughter was chosen for us by God. But in the midst of my grief over my infertility I would not have believed it possible. You keep holding onto God and His promises. He will never ever fail you! I am praying for you, sweet sister.
Oh Sweet Katie-
My heart breaks for you. I know where you and where you’ve been. When I married my husband he had 3 children from his first marriage and I was told at a young age that I would struggle to have children without fertility treatments, and quite possibly even with. We made the heart-wrenching decision not to take that path…and to not try fertility treatments. And last Septmeber, God blessed us with a baby boy after our hearts had surrendered that dreams years before. We only had 6 weeks to plan for the little guy, as I had been being treated for my gallbladder since I wasn’t “supposed” to be able to get pregnant. I went in for an ultrasound on July 29th, 2011 and they found my sweet baby boy! I was 35 weeks pregnant. I don’t tell you this story to hurt your heart, but to bring you a hope. If God wills for you to have children…there is no doctor this side of heaven who can tell you its impossible!
Love you so much!
Andrea
Big Sister Here – Katie, my heart aches for you because well do I remember the pain of infertility. You’re not alone. I have a card that I’ve sent to people with overwhelming pain (emotional or physical). It says that you don’t need another person telling you to hang in there, but I’m praying to the One who has you firmly in His grasp. Praying for you with love and understanding.
I am about to turn 25 and graduate from seminary, all within a 6 month period. Both of these things have me, in all honesty, sitting at an idol of fear. I have not lived up to the dreams and ideas I had from myself by the time I turned 25, and my plans for the future are foggy. I’m about to enter the real world and for the first time, I don’t know what comes next. Fear has been overwhelming, despite my desire to trust God and live a whimsy, serving, and loving life.
Little sister here:
The main issue I have been having is giving it all over the God. The devil has crept his way into my life over these past few years, due to the fact that my family moved away and I haven’t found a church home. So he has crept in and planted the doubt seed, and unknowingly I have let it grow. I know My God is real and wonderful, but everytimeI go to pray, and I cry out to God the devil is in my ear whispering that he doesnt hear me, that I shouldn’t give it all over, that my husband is way too important, that those things I do are fun. It is been such a struggle for me. I really just wish I had a big sister that lived close to meet and pray with and someone to help me. I know that is my problem though. I need to lean on God and not people and maybe that is why he has secluded me here. Anways, any words of encouragement, or any prayer would be greatly appreciated.
Little sister here…I am a single mom trying to raise my daughter on my own and we live with my parents. We want our own place but trying to afford anything in a safe neighborhood seems to be the hold up. Also struggling with feeling so alone and wanting to get married.
Kelli, I just want to encourage you to stay home and allow yourself to feel safe. Provided that your parents home is a safe and supportive one, you can focus on building a life that will allow you and your daughter to move out and not have to move back in.
What interests you? Schooling? Career training? Even the military? Whatever you choose to do, you can accomplish more quickly with your parents support.
As for marriage, I uplift that prayer with caution, children are rarely a good reason to get married, even if it’s a new (not her father). Think about what suits you and wait for a Godly man, even with a good strong Christian man by your side, marriages are tough.
God bless you today and go in and give your little one a special hug.
Little sister here…but just barely. 🙂 My husband and I have three biological children. We have been called to adopt from Ethiopia. We are completely honored and humbled by this call and are moving forward with the adoption process. But at times, I am gripped with fear. Like cannot-take-a-full-breath kind of fear. I know it is Satan trying to stop us from being obedient. I could use prayers for peace.
praying for you little sister…for shalom…God’s peace as you obey…
Little sister here…. So thankful to have read this post today. I am struggling greatly with my husband. He has been a part-time drug user since way before we were even together. He has greatly slowed down, but he simply won’t just “quit,” even though he says he can. Pray with me. Please pray and agree with me that God would open his eyes to the harm he is doing to his body and our marriage. We have been desperately trying to get pregnant for a few years, and as my 30th birthday speeds near next week, the void of little feet in our house feels even bigger. I know God won’t bless us with children until He’s ready for us to have them. Thanks for the prayers.
praying for you….little sister
Little sis here….i am 37 and trying to live a life worthy of my calling as a child of God and ministry leader. Yet, I am also trying to fight my way out of a life that is not being lived intentionally outside of my ministry. My body is suffering from cronic illness and a lack of healthy living. I am trying, but it is discouraging to hear the voice of the enemy constantly. I am hopeful for the future but need my feet concrete in the truth that I have been given everything I need for Godliness and righteousness. I love his truth of the freedom that is available and I’m trying to fight my way to walking in that truth!!!
Little sister here:
From April 27, 2011- April 27th 2012 the following major things have happened
I held my 2 year old and 3 year old daughters in my lap in our master bedroom closet while and f4 or f5 tornado ripped our house apart around us, while telling my husband it had to stop soon or we were going to be flying through the air. We lost everything, and I mean everything.
Then in January of 2012 found out we were expecting a baby and one week to the day later I went to the ER with chest pains and through a process of three weeks found out I have a blood clot from my abdomen to my ankle and probably several pulmonary embolisms. We can’t do the test to know for sure about the PEs during pregnancy. Baby is still fine and due in September.
But I am beat to a frazzle!! I feel overwhelmed, angry, sad, frustrated, you name it! My family and I have had enough and we are worn down! Church is great to us (and we have a wonderful church family) but I can’t go often due to pain from the medical issues plus I am just so angry!
Your little sister here….I’ve been married for four months to a man I have known for 24 years. His 3 kids are causing our marriage so much grief. I KNOW I can’t divorce him because it is not Biblical, but I am already at my wits end. He does not discipline them for ANYTHING. His excuse is they are teenagers, live with their mother and they wouldn’t ever want to come to our house if he was always correcting them. I have a 7 year old and she sees how disrespectful they are, how they lie and has even heard about one of them sneaking out in the middle of the night to drink with his friends. I CRINGE when they call to come over and I HATE that feeling. I am in another state visiting my family and my husband and I got into it about his kids on Friday, he hung up on me and I haven’t heard from him since. I know this is Satan attacking, but I have no idea how to respond!!! HELP!!!!
Lil Sis here……I too was abandon by my husband for another woman…Left me so hurt and scared but my Faithful Lord has healed and been my provider every step. Now fast forward 4 yrs.and with much prayer of a second chance of love with a Godly man, One came into my life that was everything I requested of God and more..5 months of so wonderful Bliss and now He’s rejected me due to not wanting marriage in his future so no use continuing. Rejection,abandonment, unworthiness, fear of God never blessing my hearts desire have been my food for weeks now…Faith crisis and brokenhearted beyond ever before… I just need someone whose been there and has proof that God worked and fulfilled her hearts cry. Someone who can pray with power that I can feel Hope again, heal and without fear Love again..
Mary- I promise from someone who knows exactly how bad you hurt…….there is hope and all those “missed” opportunities are not your failures….they are God’s blessings. He has been protecting you all alone-remember he see’s the future- and one day- when you are far enough away from it- you will see. For now, keep remembering- there is a tomorrow and that tomorrow is full of “God’s” blessing and he will fulfill the desires of your heart but he wants you to fall in love with him first so that he can teach you to love and be loved before he brings the man worthly of your love.
Signed,
Lady “still” in waiting for Mr Right…..God’s Mr Right.
Little sister here…tired of the unknown- tired of confusion- tired of being scared- tired of brokenness. Could just one thing go right?
I’m a little sis, but I can tell you this. One thing DID go right…Jesus loved you enough to DIE a cruel horrible death for you!!! When you feel nothing can go right, always remember that. You are wonderful enough, beautiful enough and worthy enough for Jesus to die. I’ll be praying for you!!!
Big Sister here…Psalm 56:8NLT “You keep track of all my sorrows. You have collected all my tears in your bottle. You have recorded each one in your book.” As a mother of a special needs child, I have claimed this verse over and over. The Lord knows and records our pain and our sorrows. When the days become so long that you don’t think you can make it through the next minute, remember that God loves you and is keeping up with every tear. Prayers for my little sisters out there.
Little sister here: I am struggling with what I am afraid is Depression. As I look back, it has been a life-long problem, and it keeps getting worse. Trying to own up to something like “depression and anxiety” has thrown my mind, heart and emotions into complete turmoil. I don’t know where to go from here, or how to get there. All I know is I Need Help!
Little Sister here (32)….Struggling with a very dishonest mother in law. I have been watching her lie, talk behind others in the family for years and have always remained quiet and not lovingly confronted her in fear that my witness would be hurt–She is not a believer. Just yesterday something happened involving my family and I had to confront. Her husband, my father in law, was upset that I would suggest his wife was being dishonest. I wanted so badly to tell him there is a long history of her lies and lack of integrity…but I resisted. I knew that would not lead the situation in a good place. He is sadly clueless as waits for him to leave the room to say these things. It makes me sick to my stomach. I want to love her, and I do…but I also have negative feelings I wish I didn’t. How do I have an authentic relationship with someone who has no integrity? She has so many fooled! And at the same time surely others in the family have also found her out, but no one addresses the issue–including myself. What is the right thing for a Christian to do in this case? I have always thought the right thing was to remain quiet. My mother in law is also not one to talk about things. She is great at talking about things behind others’ backs 😉 But not openly with the person involves. She cringes at open conversations and almost gets paralyzed. In recent Sunday School lessons a book by John Eldrige was discussed (Beautiful Outlaw). I was challenged by studying all of Jesus’ character traits….brutally honest, cunning,, scandalous, and so many others we typically don’t think of. I was challenged to re-think my position. Should I not always be so quiet? I am afraid of being misinterpreted as judgemental, critical and perhaps even mean! Of course our Savior’s motives were always good and righteous.
Any advice from my big sisters out there?!?!
Big sister here….
Hi Hellen,
“How do I have an authentic relationship with someone who has no integrity?” — I have been wondering the same thing! With family members, we want it to be genuine and close, but unfortunately, this has not been my experience with some of them. If the other person has no interest in changing for the better, I don’t know how the relationship can go deeper, beyond the superficial level.
My husband and I have had discussions on this due to various challenging situations over the past 20 years with our parents, who weren’t Christians (except until recently, when my parents got saved a few years ago). We couldn’t change them to make them have more integrity. Besides, if they don’t see the need to change (e.g., stop lying about things), then they feel fine with how things are.
I hope someone else can chime in with a different experience. But really, all we’ve been able to do so far, with the non-Christian time periods, is to love them as well as we can and then relate to them at the level the relationship can take, which has always been rather shallow, in my opinion. Thankfully, one set of parents is saved! So we now have more in common…shared values, etc.
I will say, though, that you never can tell how things will turn out. I would never have guessed that any of our family members would’ve become Christians, due to backgrounds of Islam and Buddhism. But the Lord certainly did more than I asked or imagined! And He will do it for you and your family, as well. I am sure of it.
Love,
Karen K.
Little sis here… It seems im going through a season of pruning… And to be completley honest about it, im pretty angry. I lost my father in December and within 3 months i had also lost a relationship with my brother, and my best friend… Im lonley and though iknow im never alone, i long for human relationships, for love, not jsut to be loved, but to love and serve in return.. I watch those @ me continue to make bad decesions and seem to be continually blessed, but i cant seem to catch a break. Thank you big sisters for your prayers and encouragement today, on behalf of all the lil sisters out here! God Bless you!
Little sister here…. In November 2011, my husband retired from the military and followed God’s leading into full-time ministry (youth minister) here in Texas. We thought we had all the finances figured out. Needless to say it isn’t so, but… God has really shown us His provision every month. That is awesome to see, I’m so ashamed to admit though, that it’s so frustrating to me, and that although I trust Him, I WANT this mess to be done with. Living from one paycheck to another, eating rice and beans is no fun. I need you to join me in prayer, I want so bad to find Him and all He provides sufficient, I want to be satisfied in Him alone…. But I’m just so frustrated!!
Little sis here(18), so happy to have seen this on my timeline! I’m struggling with being a hypocrite with one area of my life. I hate how I can encourage others to stay strong from depression and help them with self injury problems, but for myself I can’t seem to grasp the words that come out of my life.