I’m really ticked. I just ran into a beloved little sister in the faith on my way to work when I stopped off at a grocery store to grab a few things. She and her family are nearly being eaten alive by the enemy. Honestly, we stood right there in plain sight near the vitamin aisle and ratted on the devil and shook the family tree for some fresh truth. As big tears rolled down those cheeks, she said one thing so emphatically that it seared straight into my bones:
“I was just thinking about you this morning, Beth. And I’ve just gotta know: have you been here?”
Where exactly did she mean by here? In that place where the enemy seems to leave NOTHING untouched. Nothing unmangled by his crushing iron jaw. The scene of the onslaught. Where Satan seems to systematically and patiently and daily and hourly go for you – heart, soul, and body, and for everything and everyone you hold dear, and for all you know – that you know – that you know you believe. That season where you can’t seem to recover because every time you start to get back up, something knocks you down again. That season that you really do begin to believe will absolutely kill you…and, in some respects, it does. It kills the old you. If allowed to, it stones to death the Goliath within every David, one welting throw after another. Welcome to the sifting zone where Satan gets so much leash that he rips to bloody shreds everything he can get his paws on…but what is really real. What is really left behind when we are stripped bare of all our earthly security and fleshly confidence.
Have I been there, my beloved little sister?
Let’s see. How loud can I say this?? I HAVE BEEN THERE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! BOY, HAVE I EVER BEEN THERE!!!!!!!!!!!!!
And part of me survived. And part of me died.
And the part of me that died, as painful as it was, needed to.
And when it tries to resurrect it’s ugly, deformed, decayed head, I remind it that it is dead, lest it need another killing. Because I don’t want another killing.
I don’t mean my baffling tendency to sin is dead. I deal with that old nature everyday. I can still – almost out of nowhere – vacillate furiously between self-love and self loathing until I’m so dizzy I could regurgitate. But that joint victim and victimizer in me, that violent inner working nurtured at the breast of deceit and raised in sickness with a bent on self-destruction, took what still appears over many years to be a fair beheading.
YES. I have been there. And it was so awful I still well remember almost to the detail. And this morning I was glad I did because my little sister in the faith – a MIGHTY woman of God – needed to hear it.
I got in that car so mad at the enemy and at this brazen, hateful world that I made a bee-line straight to work and clicked the words “new post.”
Big sisters, our little sisters need some encouragement. They need to know we’ve been where they are. Even if they’re not in a season of hell on earth. Maybe their house just smells like one huge dirty diaper. Maybe they just need a nap. Maybe they need a job. God alone knows exactly and truly what they need from Him but this WE can know they need from us: encouragement! And, by God (and I mean that), we are going to give it to them.
Here’s what we’re going to do today. You who are 39 and under get to tell us where you could use some encouragement. You who are 40 and older and willing are going to give it to them. Here’s how it’s going to look:
If you are 39 or younger, you’re going to start your comment with “Your little sister here: …”
If you are 40 or older, you’re going to start your comment with “Your big sister here: …”
Here are the ground rules: (I’m going to warn you. When I’m furious, I can get into a bossy frame of mind and I’m there right this second. But, look at it this way. I’m beside myself in your behalf so humor me.)
Little sisters, don’t snow ball with every irritating, annoying, frustrating thing or relationship in your life. Get pretty quickly to the bottom line. I’m thinking about someone I really do love so much and want to encourage and help when at all possible but her emails to me are so long and about so many things going wrong and so many people going awry that by the end of it, all I can do is throw up my hands and say, “I am so overwhelmed, I have no idea where to begin!” Try, as much as you know how to tell us, to articulate what is really wrong. The real bottom line. Also, please look throughout the post for encouragements that may help you and keep in mind that what the big sisters write to one, they extend to all. Don’t be offended if no one speaks directly to you. Every encouragement is meant for every one of you.
Big Sisters, today is for encouraging our little sisters and that’s all. I know you have problems because I’m about your same age and I have a truckload of them. But you and I have lived long enough to know that we’re going to make it and that God IS going to be faithful and He is INDEED going to bring beauty from ashes and He will most certainly, given enough time, work every single detail out for our good and His glory. No complaining from us today. This post is a N0-Whine zone for big sisters. Life and the devil are eating our baby sisters alive. Let’s GET UP in their behalf, encourage them, and draw out our swords and fight for them. As often as you can, make your comment to all of them instead of just in reply to one of them. There will be exceptions, of course, but it’s crucial that we edify them across the board. They could all use it. You can talk to them or pray for them in your comment. Both are so Biblical and so right.
Now, listen, Little Sisters. One more thing from Big Sister with the big mouth. Get your tails in the Word. I mean it. Get your tails in the Word. NO TIME OFF. Read it aloud when you can’t absorb it or concentrate on it. Get yourself some accountability. Call upon the Lord, who is worthy to be praised and so shall you be saved from your enemies. Every morning.
One last thing. I left my beloved little sister with an assignment this morning and with the accountability to let me know she’s doing it. I’m going to give you little sisters who are feeling devoured the exact same one: memorize Psalm 25. Every word of it. Don’t tell me you can’t. Yes, you can. Get it printed out, laminate it, and memorize it. Say it over and over and over again. Start today. We can cheer you on and we can fight for you but we can’t fight instead of you. This victory is YOURS. The battle is meant to bring plunder directly to your personal life and family line or God wouldn’t have allowed it. Get up and fight.
Psalm 25.
I mean it.
I’m going to be asking you about it.
OK. I’m sorry for the bossy tone but I am so mad on behalf of you, our baby sisters, that I’m bruising this keyboard.
Now get busy, Girls. I have to be out of the office for a little while several times today so if we go a few hours without any comments moderated, have no fear, I’ll get back to it and get your encouragements posted.
I love you.
Your little sister here feels beyond blessed! So thankful for everything and everyone God has given me. I have an amazing husband and get to stay home each day with my 3 year old and 1 year old. Sometimes I just need to be encouraged, though, that I can do it (be a mom!) to my kids. We are pregnant with our third and having some complications. I’m trusting God that everything will be okay with our baby and that He’ll give me strength to get through each day of the first trimester. So tired! 🙂 I also need to know that I’m NOT the only mom who has (or had) an almost 4 year old who still refuses to even sit on the potty! May sound like something silly now but feels pretty important at this moment. 🙂 Thank you, Beth, for encouraging Big Sisters to reach out to Little Sisters. It’s SO comforting to hear those words – “I’ve been there. You’re going to get through it. It’s ok.” Thank you Big Sisters!
Amy, M $ M’s and suckers worked wonders for my boys! Congrats on your newest bundle…God already knows his/her sweet face!
Thank you Casey!!!
Amy, your little sister here. I was going to post a very similar post to yours, and hearing that you also need encouragement, brought me encouragement. We are also pregnant with our third child with a 3 year old and 1 year old. I just need encouragement hat are days that the two are not behaving, my consequences re teaching them right from wrong. We have lost a child at 15 weeks of pregnancy and our next pregnancy with my 1 year old they told us that she would end as a stillbirth. She is a true miracle of God, because despite all the complications, she is perfectly healthy. There are two passages in the Bible that helped me.
Mark 9: 22 -24
2 Peter 5: 6-7
They helped me during my pregnancy with my 1 year old. I will be praying for you, because I am in your shoes.
Sarah,
Thank you for your encouragement and the verses you shared! So nice to know that there’s someone out there that’s in a very similar situation. And thank you for your prayers!!! What an amazing story about your daughter! God is SO good! So thankful for that. We lost a baby too, at 12 weeks. It’s definitely harder to be at peace when you’ve lost one in the past, huh? Thankful we get to see our babies someday in Heaven! I will be praying for you too, Sarah!
Amy, I have a boy who just did NOT want to do the whole potty training thing. Finally (when he was almost 4 also) I mentioned it to our wonderful pediatrician one day, and he replied, “Janel, he’s not going to go join the Marines in diapers.” He made me laugh and reminded me that, impossible as it sometimes seems, this too is only a temporary situation! Blessings to you!
Janel, I love that story!! So true! Thanks for sharing and for your encouragement!
Amy – you are not alone in the potty training drama! Hang in there, sister! We were there with my almost-4-year-old very recently. It can be so discouraging. But it will happen!
Trinna – Thank you!!!!
Your Big Sister here…reminding you that God is with you ALWAYS. He loves you like no other and is right with you in the midst of your life. He has you and your circumstance in the palm of His hand and, when you’re on the other side of your trial, He will turn you around and show you WHAT He did for you and WHY He allowed you to go through that dark time. Please remember to look for His tender mercies along the way and for His loving kindnesses. He is so worthy of our praise. Claim that blessing. Receive the miracle He’s designated specifically for you. And know that your big sisters are storming the gates of Heaven on your behalf. We love you and are living witnesses a little further down the road from you, cheering you on. Keep the faith, girls! You are so loved!
Well said, Shelly. I’m joining you in prayer for our LIttle Sisters in Christ. Love you, Sister.
“Remember to look for his tender mercies along the way and for his loving kindnesses.” – So true!!
I am a “little sister” and I was about to write some long post about all of my disappointments, and anger at God, which aren’t few and far between. But instead I will make the choice to testify to God’s grace.
God has given the enemy a very long leash with my husband and I, and we have endured a very rough past 5 years (which is a long time given our age!) Recently our struggle is with infertility and doctors say we have to have IVF to conceive. It has been only a month since our “diagnosis” and we will be doing IVF in September. But, although it seems that God has allowed Satan to sift us like wheat, when we look for it, there are moments where we can see God’s tender hand looking out for us. We don’t understand it, and at times we lose our cool with God. But, I will say that God has provided us with little glimpses of hope, family to support us, money to actually have the procedure done which we don’t have, and even the other day we received a bill for some testing we had done, and in the same stack of mail a check from my husband’s company covering the exact cost of the bill! Turns out my husband’s company has some account which pays our deductible. Just a drop in the bucket compared to the thousands of dollars IVF costs, but still such grace! It’s these little moments that I’m learning to look for in the midst of the trial.
We can’t fathom why we have to go through yet another deep struggle, but my mom says, and it’s true, that maybe God will get more glory out of it this way. Sometimes it seems we have to endure a lot for God’s glory, but think of Job.
I just want to echo that no matter how bad your circumstances (I bet mine, if I told you everything, could rival yours…), try to look for God’s tender mercies and loving kindnesses – and thank him for them, and testify to them. Sometimes it is just a choice, despite your feelings. You may not “feel” thankful, but thank him anyway.
I don’t see the light at the end of the tunnel, but I want to testify (by faith, of course) that we have a good God. A very good God. An unfathomably good God. And like one lady said on here, you will find that he is far better to you than you ever thought he was. That’s my hope for me, and for you.
Your big sister here: What a blessing to be a spiritual big sister! What an amazing gift and thank you, Beth, for the forum to be an encourager. Do NOT give up little sisters; cling to Jesus and He will meet your every need. During the time that He is answering your prayers with “not now” or with “I have something better for you,” stand firm. Believe Him, not the lies of our enemy that tell you Jesus is not able or that Jesus does not love you anymore. Also, do not believe the lie that everyone else has it together and you do not! No one really does, although some people surely make is seem that way! 🙂 Ask God to order your day every day and ask Him to make His priorities yours. And for JB, the little sister asking for encouragement to love her mother-in-law, we can partner in prayer together on that one! I still have quite a challenge there after 15 years. I will pray daily for all of you little sisters.
I’m a little/big sister (just 40)… my sage advice/encouragement is also my plea to those more spiritually mature sisters-in-Christ:
I believe the enemy looks for cracks in our armor. Just when I shook off the shackles of a season of financial captivity, I find myself smack in the middle of multiple health concerns and a workplace environment that is stressful and unfulfilling. I know God has a plan for me, but I can’t seem to discern what it is and I’m afraid I’ll miss it by a mile! Almost daily I have to remind myself of God’s promises of a plan for me (even if I’m not sure what it is).
I have enough spiritual maturity to know to do that… but it surely would be encouraging to hear specifically how other sisters-in-Christ keep their focus in the right place, particularly during times like these…. all suggestions welcome!!
Little Sister Here:
I recently celebrated a 10 year wedding anniversary with my husband. I love him very much and am very pleased with the man God has made him. However, my parents don’t think that much of him or the decisions he makes for our family. I’ve always hoped that time would heal their discontent with our relationship. Unfortunately, that hasn’t happened. There are days when I get discouraged in my relationship with him (as I’m sure most all couples do…) but, when I get discouraged I begin to question if I made the right decision by marrying him or whether my parents were/are right about him. I struggle with the honor of my husband and the honor of my parents. He’s pretty much to the point where he doesn’t spend time with them unless he just can’t avoid it. I don’t blame him because there are some things my mom, especially, says that are just uncalled for, and she doesn’t consider the timing of when she says things, and whether or not she is in front of our kids. I have two young kids (5 and 2.5) that I want to have a good relationship with their grandparents. I don’t know how to balance the two relationships, and it really is making me question my faith and whether I’ve been obedient in following God with my marriage since my marriage relationship has been wrought with such conflict (inner and external). God has been faithful to see us through, so far, and I’m trusting Him moving forward, but i’m tired of the fight. Prayers appreciated. Thanks!
Big Sis here with some words of specific encouragement for you. Having been in your shoes, I’m just going to quote the country singer: Stand by Your Man. Or, more Biblically, Leave and Cleave.
No, he’s not perfect or always right. Probably he has no idea what to do a lot of the time. I’m sure your mom is a delightful person and a wonderful grandmother, but it’s time you and she have a little talk.
In God’s eyes, you and your husband are one flesh. When she insults or belittles him, she is doing the same to you. This must end.
I write these words, sweet little sister, with emotion. I have been in your shoes and I know how hard this situation can be, the ramifications you are thinking about for your family.
I’m praying that God will give you boldness and courage, mixed with a heaping load of grace. He is in this one with you and you have his blessing bearing you up.
Biggish (40) sister here, little sister Carol, I so relate. I have had and still have the same issue with my parents. The ironic thing is I met my husband on eHarmony and it was my mom who signed me up. They couldn’t say enough good about him, UNTIL we got married and some of the decisions we made for our little startig family did not agree with what they expected. Now they feel that he has stolen me from them, changed me, and encourages me to rebel against them. I grew up hearing all the time how rebeilion was as the sin of witchcraft so you can undrstand how that one cuts right through me!
It has taken a few years and some counciling, but I’ve come to the realization that when I said “I do” that broke that obedience tie with my parents and formed a new one with my husband. As long as he isn’t physically or emotionally abusive and willing to commit to making your marriage work, it doesn’t matter if you “made a mistake” Even if he wasn’t Gods perfect choice for your mate before you said “I do” he is now.
One of the things I had to do with my family was to institute some guidelines for communication. For about a year ALL communication was in writting. Then, I would only talk on the phone if my husband was present and part of the call on speaker. Now I will talk to them but not nearly as often as they want. I have never limited their access to their grandchild, although any skype call in first 2 years was with all 3 of us. We stood united as One, just as God sees us.
One of the hardest parts of growing up is navigating a new relationship with our parents. Respect your elders does not mean never disagree with them. Stand firm in a loving way, but stand firm with your husband first ALWAYS.
They will be angry, you can’t stop or change that, the only thing you have control over is your emotionall response to their anger. Do what you need to do to stand with your husband. Kids are smart, if they see the two of you standing together, loving each other, nothing anyone else says will stick.
You can do this. trust God and rely on your hubby. For the longest time I tried to be his shield with my parents, then, at my wits end I asked him to be mine. To protect me from the negative things they were saying about him. When we made that one little change, he rose up to be a mighty man of God for me and our son and our relationship is growing better and better as we stand together.
A Cord of three strands is not easily broken!
Little sister here who is with the other little sisters fighting to believe tha God has placed good desires (for a husband, children, etc) in my heart that He *will* fulfill. Struggling as I am now closer to 40 than 30 to trust. And getting harder still…to hope.
And it is not lost on me as I read through the other little sisters’ posts just how hard those roles are that I am praying Jesus would bring about.
Hi, Danielle — Big sister here. I’d like to share something with you about singleness. My brother, not a believer yet, but a very smart man, once said to me when I was complaining about my singleness many years ago, “Gretch, here’s the thing. 50% of the time it is great to have someone to cuddle with, and 50% of the time, you wish they would get the heck OUT.” Now, I’m not saying that every marriage has a 50% of the time rule, but for some reason that comforted me. Either situation is fraught with difficulties, heart break, trouble, joy, peace, and love. Our problems won’t go away when/if we get married, and most likely, we will spend some time wishing they would get out. Trust your Father – He is so faithful. He is wildly and madly in love with YOU, and He has the perfect plan for your life. Yes, it is hard to feel left out, but do you want to know how many married women wish they were in your shoes? Enjoy your freedom, serve until you’re empty of yourself, do all the things you’ve been waiting for a husband to do. And you will be blessed.
May our God fill you with all joy and peace as you trust in Him.
Your sister,
Gretchen
Big sister here. . .I’m praying especially for all of you who are feeling the pain/loss/confusion of wanting to be a wife, but realizing that God just hasn’t brought that into your lives yet. Speaking as someone who had reached the point of saying, “Okay, God, I want, have always wanted and thought, that I’d get married and have a family, but it seems like it’s just not going to happen, so please, Lord, help me, change my desires and help me to be content.” He did help me be content, and He also brought my husband and I together. This man is the truly the perfect husband for me, and I love him dearly. I made many bad choices before I met him, and I know that it is truly only though the grace of God that I came through everything and have been healed from those scars. So, I pray that all of you who are feeling this sadness will be wrapped in the peace that passes all understanding and that you will know that God has wonderful plans for you, and that His plans will bring you peace and joy.
little sister here…36 and single, never married, still a virgin…keep getting damaged by christian men – first, a senior pastor who pursued me, who i fell in love with and almost married…who ended up being secretly gay. devastated is an understatement. was pursued again by a worship pastor, seemingly amazing godly guy…couple months in admitted to also being secretly gay. in the midst of that my boss who was supposedly a really godly man, took advantage of my hard-working nature and for nearly two years worked me 60-70hours/week into total burn-out (part of it was my fault for being a people pleaser and i own my part)- he also was not a man of integrity or a man of his word. last year i moved to another state for a fresh start. i started working for a church and my boss (again, a pastor) ended up crossing the line with me many times, harassing me and found out after he abruptly left the church that he was having an affair with a congregation member. i am at the end of my rope in knowing how to keep my heart softened, not become bitter, not lump all men together, to continue to take risks in relationships…
i feel like my youth is slipping away from me – like so many years have been lost to sorrow and despair over being lied to, manipulated, used, taken advantage of. every time i start to recover and feel like “ok, i’m ready to take on the world again” i am utterly and completely shot down by yet another man who is not who he appears to be or says he is.
my life is totally surrendered to the Lord and i trust HIM and what He knows is best for me…but these situations are wearing on my heart. and i’m just not sure how much more i can take.
BIG SISTER HERE: oh how I wish I could grab some coffee with you and some hang time. Been where you are and experienced much of what you have written about. GOD IS SO FAITHFUL, I can totally attest to that. But looking back, there was so much pain, and so many dark days and Jesus taught me so much about falling in love with Him. Being single in the Christian culture is HARD!!! Much harder than being single in the broader world context. I had a lot of lessons to learn, and still do, but I am here to tell you got has given me a life full of joy, purpose and so much love and ministry. Am I still single? YES…and almost 50 and I can say that I’m not just coping, I am THRIVING…but it’s because of Jesus. Fall in love with Him…believe me whethere you get married or not, it’s the only way to survive! HE LOVES YOU SO…Philippians 1:6
oops no spell check, GOD not got!
Little Sister here:Thanks Sherry for your words of encouragement. Being single in Christian culture is hard and it is good to hear someone thriving. I am learning and seeing how God has given me ways to serve that would not necessarily be possible were I married with children.
Thank you for your encouraging words,Sherry! I’d love some hang time with you too 🙂 Appreciate your wisdom and prayers. Lily
Praying for you single sistas…HE is totally in love with you. OK, so this is really sad and embarassing, but the truth. I used to tell Jesus, “I love you, and I love what you did for me on the cross and are doing right now, but I’m not IN LOVE with you.”….Could you help me fall in love with you?” ISNT that pitiful? Here’s one of the reasons I am in love with Jesus now. He could take hearing a wretched prayer like that one and still answer it with a huge blessing. I can say now that I really am in love with Him…but I prayed that prayer for years…that’s with an s, as in plural! HE IS SO, SO patient with me…and He is with you too, you can trust him to meet all those deep desires, in ways you NEVER dreamed possible!
Big sister here-
1 Timothy 6:12 NLT
Fight the good fight for the true faith. Hold tightly to the eternal life to which God has called you, which you have confessed so well before many witnesses.
My eyes are filled with tears. My heart is heavy as I read the stories of the little sisters. I feel it’s
almost as if they were waiting for permission to be real. The Lord hears your cries & sees your heart. There are many big sis’s out here who are praying.
Your little sister here is at the end of her rope. After a year of unemployment, my husband and I had to sell nearly everything we own. Including wedding bands. 🙁 Praise God my guy did finally get a job – but it is not one that pays nearly enough – not being dramatic here, it really pays below poverty line wages for the year – and it seems like every. single. time. we think we are finally catching up SOMETHING hits us again. Yesterday it was a huge bill that was unexpected because of a dental emergency.
I just cried all day. For my husband who has been going to school full time and working like crazy, for me because our stress levels are to the max, and for needing just one month to be good. We need prayers for HOPE.
I don’t know why you are going through lean times. I can remember going through times like these when my husband and I were first married. It seems like we ate fried baloney and grits for the first 5 years of our marriage. It felt as though God was punishing us even though we were tithing and trying to walk right before Him. And I was envious of others that had money and could afford to buy and buy and buy.
But God is a God who gives and gives and gives and most of the time it is not a financial blessing. One of His blessings for me was showing me how my jealousy was a sin of unbelief.
Again, I don’t know why God leads us down certain paths. But this is a scripture that I hold onto when I feel like nothing is going my way:
Let not your heart envy sinners, but continue in the fear of the Lord all the day. Surely there is a future, and your hope will not be cut off. Prov. 23:17-18
Kristen, I am a Little Sister but my husband and I have felt EXACTLY how you are feeling. For the first 2 years of our marriage things were pretty tough financially. My job was pretty secure but did not pay well and my husbands construction work kept falling through and he was laid off 3 times over those 2 years. Not to mention when he was working his boss had many occasions where he refused to pay his employees on time. There were a few times when we were negative in our bank accounts days before rent and bills were due.
Then 3 years ago (married for 5 years total) we both got laid off one month apart. Life was unbearable. We had no idea where money would come from and work could not be found. Slowly but surely work became available and our finances got better. We still live paycheck to paycheck but our bills get paid – and on time too! There were many occasions when God showed up at the last second (very like Him:)) to test our faith.
Agreeing with Dawn (especially because I am not fully out of it yet) I do not know why God allows us to endure these times except for moments like this and the lessons I know I’ve learned: to be thankful for what I DO have, for teaching us patience and endurance and to show us His faithfulness.
My only advice is to be sure you and your husband 100%, fully hand over your finances to the Lord, and spend time praying about it TOGETHER. My husband and I prayed together out loud every night, on our knees for years. It is a desparate situation you are in, so (though He knows) show Him your desperation for His help and provision. Be consistent in your prayer and seriously have faith that He WILL provide. I will pray fervently for you two.
Stay strong in Him. Love you.
Thank you both so much! Just knowing what we are going through is understood and that it has been done with victory means the world. ♥
To the One who is able to do more than we can imagine…
Big Sister Here….
May the Lord bless each of you little sisters today as He weaves us together by His love!
3 things that I want to share with you ~
His allowed sifting of us ~ This is one so near and dear to my heart! Remember that He doesn’t allow the sifting for your destruction but for your salvation.Truly. I mean that to my core.
Don’t listen to other believers who, in misunderstanding, cause you to feel condemnation instead of supplying encouragement.Making you feel that you need to get your act together with so many things going wrong in your life.Find someone who gets what is happening to walk with you.
Through the sifting of everything I have held dear He has freed me to need Him alone.I love so many others but he has taught me to NEED HIM. This is a freedom worth everything else!
His timing in our lives ~ There is NOTHING like “God’s Go!”
By that I mean, in any area of our lives where waiting is what is required we can grow tired through unbelief and decide to take things into our own hands. But, if we choose to wait His time and way, when He says “go” there is NOTHING like it!It moves from the natural to the supernatural.
Remember, as we wait He has so much for us to be actively tending. Sometimes we long for something to tend that seems more important. But the thing He has placed in front of you is the most important, in His will, for you to tend right now. Do you trust His will for you and will you choose to glorify Him and do it as unto Him?
Time to spend with Him ~ He has never designed a life for any of us that lacks time for Him. Never. Not one season or one day.Ask Him His design for your life. Ask Him what needs to go. What needs to change. If this is missing from your life you have no rudder for your ship…no power for your life…no discernment for the way. Nothing in your day is worth not having this.
I recently read the book “7” and have begun practicing times of prayer every three hours throughout the day. Not as a rule but as a reminder…an empowering time with Him that keeps my focus and brings a strength I can’t really explain. Make having time with Him a priority as though your life depends on it because it does.
More than anything I just want to plead with you to trust His way with your life. I have been a Christian since five and through much sifting I grew so afraid and angry with Him. I felt defeated. I felt like I must have missed the handbook that somehow told you how to live triumphantly. There is a verse in Psalms that flipped my thinking.He gave it to me. Keep seeking Him through His word and in prayer for He will speak to you and encourage you…one step at a time…one day at a time. He is that kind of a Savior. Come with a humble heart. We choose to let life make us bitter or beautiful.
Beth this post of yours is what makes you my mom in the faith. You remember where you have been, you are gut honest,you aren’t afraid to show passion, and your life is spent holding onto a powerful Savior and beckoning others to do the same. I love you so much!
your words absolutely spoke straight to my heart and I’ve copied and pasted your encouragement to my computer. It’s helped as much to read how much simpler my life and issues are compared to my other sisters, as much as it has helped to read the encouragement from big sisters too. But we really need and crave that encouragement. thank you so much for being a vessel.
Your little sister here.. just moved to a new city after getting married and am so lonely. Having a hard time finding a job, and getting weary from the countless rejection letters. I’m scared it was a mistake to move here, and why is it so difficult to find a church home and friends? Just feeling weary and lonely.
I am a little sister, so I know I am suppose to be giving my struggle and I will. But Sarah, this one hit me square between the eyes, I couldn’t help but stand up and say, “I’ve been there!”. I am praying for God to pour out relationships for you in your new city and give you a place of acceptence. Being in a new place is hard and is even harder when you are newly married. When my husband and I had not even been married a year we moved to Canada from Texas. All of my family lived in Texas, so I was completely on my own. The Lord used the time as a time of growth from my husband and me to grow together. We learned alot about each other during that time. I got connected with a group of ladies. I also went out and explored the city until I found places of peace for me. I am thinking about you little sister.
Your big sister here to say that God will make a way! I’ve moved several times and it is never “easy” but it makes you stronger and gives you a great sensitivity to other new people. First and foremost PRAY that He will lead you to the church for you and for friends. Next, pick several churches within a 15 minute radiance of your house (we found we don’t get involved as much if we have to drive farther than that) and visit them. Then pick the one you and your hubby think is the best and just commit to attending and joining a Sunday school, women’s bible study, or small group. Look for other new people or someone that looks lonely and be friendly. Remember, they don’t need you, you need them. People who have their time filled with family don’t have as much room for friends so watch people and observe who looks like they need a friend. It always boils down to you taking the initiative, inviting other couples over, and joining things. It usually took about 1-2 years before the new church/town felt like home but IT WILL HAPPEN if you keep praying, being friendly, and getting involved. Zeph. 3:17 You go girl! God has opened the doors for a new adventure, so step through with confidence in Him!
Your little sister here could use some encouragement. I just went through a divorce, and molestation by someone in my family when I was young has reared its head and all of the yuck in my life is coming to a head at this moment. I know God is here… I am just so so desperate for relief and restoration… not even restoration. I’ve never been healthy. I am desperate for the “me” who God intends for me to be to arise. Thanks yall!
Breahn Royal
White Oak, Texas
Little sister here…
I feel overwhelmed and under the oppressive burden of a dark cloud today due to a food addiction. I feel I don’t have any energy left to fight – the temptations are so strong. I know when I give into the temptations, it causes even more pain, but sometimes, their voice is so much louder and clearer than all the Truth I’ve memorized and try to keep in my heart. I pray daily for God to lead me and for me to be surrendered to God instead of my affliction, but some days are so hard – today is one of them.
I know how hard a struggle with food can be!
What helped me was a book called, “Intuitive Eating.” As with any book, I wouldn’t endorse every single word, but on the whole the principles I learned there, coupled with God’s truth helped me tremendously. Also, it is so important that you share your struggle with a friend who can pray with you and hold you accountable. Blessings!
Also immensely helpful is a book called Body Clutter, by Marla Cilley. She is all about getting to the heart of the matter, compassionate-but will also exhort you very effectively. We can do all things through Christ who strengthens us-don’t accept any other voices on the matter-even if they are your own! Love-in Christ! Angela
Your little sister here: …I just got out of a season where I literally thought I was going to lose my mind. A season where I literally felt beaten to a bloody pulp by the enemy. Now, I feel like I walked away and didn’t walk away victorious. I feel more like I barely walked out of it with my skin intact. I feel like a core issue in my life, and one of the main reasons I believe I ended up in such a painful sifting season was because of my issues with men. Continual poor choices, trying to find my value in men and not in Jesus. I have a horrible track record in relationships and choices I’ve made in my life. I want to be able to be victorious in this area, and to not have to be sifted again like I was. I am struggling with the feeling of desperation for a man to love me, and when I feel this way I get so frustrated because I know I should be desperate for Jesus. I need my desires to be replaced, I need a serious overhaul of feelings, thoughts and desires.
Thank you Big Sisters. 🙂
A big sister here. (It seems weird to be one already – where has the time gone?!) My heart still gets easily troubled and overwhelmed with life, but I have come to know that He is trustworthy through it all. There are days when that is spoken with little strength, but others with more confidence. By all means I haven’t arrived at all, but what I’ve found useful and have gained so far, I will gladly share and pass it on to you.
1) Whenever I’m overwhelmed, I go to the Psalms and pour my heart into one or two of them that describes my heart’s condition the most. I speak it out loud if I can, so I usually seek a quiet private place and put in as much emotion as possible. I used to think the Psalms was the craziest book ever because at one moment the speaker was all down and out or violent and furious and the other all happy, peace-filled and joyful. But having gone through number of life trials now, I have come to really appreciate the help this book provides in putting words into my heart’s anguish and then showing me a way to release them. I now keep a notebook of the psalms with tabs according to feelings or challenges (i.e. angry, disappointed, scared, overwhelmed, feeling insecure, etc) I face so that I can get to them easier.
2) Surround yourself with women that you can be real with… preferably of all walks of life but who share the love of Christ and that love and honour each other and pray together. Make time for being together and just being YOU. Especially if you have multiple roles you fill, invest the time to these relationships. I’m a mother of 3 boys and I homeschool them. These relationships have sustained me and nourished me throughout the years. If you’re homeschool mom, make sure you make friends on both camps but that you can be safe and real.
3) Give sacrifice of thanksgiving and praise EVEN IF you don’t feel like it. Run to Him when life floods over you. He is Mighty to save. Doing the Psalm exercise first helps to give the thanksgiving and praise much easier. Keep count of things you’re thankful for. Hunt for His gifts to you throughout your day. Replace the lists of wrong that we keep in our hearts with this actual list of things you find God doing for you that you’re thankful for. It will revolutionize your perspective and life. Take the Joy Dare (http://www.aholyexperience.com/2012/01/the-1-habit-your-new-year-cant-do-without-giveaway/).
4) Whenever I get overwhelmed about evil in the world, or the seeming delay of justice, I read Psalm 73 and pour my heart into it. It corrects my perspective. Going to the Word always has a corrective effect. I struggled with depression for a long time, and noticed that I was starting to harbour false pride. I am not that special that the Lord of the Universe should make the only exception out of me. He is not the Liar. He always does what He said He will do. I need not fret. I’m getting better at ceasing to fret sooner. Look for His promises and proclaim it.
5) Well used Bible is your ticket to peace. I say this to myself also: Use it, eat from it, DAILY as if your life depends on it. Because it DOES. Without it you’ll only exist. He came so that we will LIVE in abundance.
Thank you for saying eat the word, without it you only exist! This is exactly where I am at. Existing…. Yuk.
Your little sister here: This week I found out my father has been having an affair for over the past two years and wants to divorce my mom after almost forty years of marriage. What is the truth anymore? The only thing I have is my Lord, but where do I even begin…
Dearest Lindsey, big sister here–my heart is breaking for you! I have been there: my parents divorced after 30 years. I can only tell you what has worked for me. I’m not saying this is always the right response.
First of all, definitely keep your parents in prayer. They need it right now DESPERATELY. And keep yourself in the Word. When you’re angry, hurt, betrayed, pour it out to Jesus. I don’t know if this will work for you, but when the divorce happened I told my parents a couple of things. 1) I will NOT be taking sides, so don’t ask me to. 2) I will NOT be a go-between, so don’t ask me to. This has worked out pretty well; both of them have respected it.
When one of your parents vents about the other, you have a decision to make about how to respond. Initially I told them I didn’t want to hear it; now I usually just let him/her get it out, nod sagely and keep quiet. This has worked out pretty well.
Don’t hesitate to pray for their reconciliation. Just don’t tell them you’re doing it. : )
And hardest of all: try not to impose your solutions on them. They might listen soberly but inside they’re laughing. : )
Don’t beat yourself up if, over the years, you let them see how much their divorce has hurt you. The holidays are hard. You are still their child and as such have a right to be honest with them.
Again, I don’t know how helpful this is (or even how biblical some of it is) and would appreciate another big sister weighing in…
Praying for you, little sis!
Big sister here. Twenty years ago I was right where you are. It took me at least a year until I could even be in the same room as my dad without feeling sick to my stomach. Don’t be surprised when you are still angry a few years from now. Forgiveness does not happen over night. I thought if I said I forgave him that would be enough. It wasn’t. It took years and maybe a better understanding of my own failings (and my own desperate need for grace) to allow my Dad some grace and when I did, I discovered that I had finally forgiven him. But I was only able to extend grace because of the grace that was extended to me by Christ.
Christ may be the only Truth you have right now and cling to Him like your life depends on it. Because it does. Stay in the Word no matter what doubts, questions, or fears seep into your heart. You cover yourself with His Words and He will guard your heart. Not from being broken, but from being numb. I tried to deny the betrayal I felt, like it wasn’t mine to claim, to numb myself to the loss of the man I thought was the one man I could always count on. I wish I had sought help/encouragement to a greater degree. I think my relationship with my Dad would have mended a little faster, a little better.
Please talk to someone you can trust-maybe a friend that has gone through the same thing or even a counselor. I know that it took God putting that person right in front of me before I let go of the shame I felt for what my Dad did before I would talk about it. But when I did, it was such a feeling of freedom. Of dropping a burden that I wasn’t meant to carry alone.
God can redeem this situation. It will be in His time though. But for me feeling this betrayal to such a great degree, I would never have been able to walk with a friend through the same valley years later. I would have only been able to offer useless platitudes. I think this was the first time God broke my heart for what breaks His. And God can always use our brokenness for His good and His purpose. You can trust Him. I promise.
I know that what I say will not fix this situation or even lessen the hurt. But I will be praying for you Lindsey. Praying that He covers you with His wings, that you feel secure in His shelter, and that you know the depth and width of His love for you. And praying that your heart heals and the relationship with your Dad heals also. In His love-Your Big Sister
Thank you ladies- my parents are attending counseling this week, please continue to pray for them
Your little sister here: I need a friend locally. Someone for whom I am on their radar.
Big sister here: Where do you live? Praying for you.Dear God, I lift up Hannah Stone and ask that you will send friends her way, but also a godly older woman who is caring and kind, but willing to be real. In Jesus name, Amen.
I live in south eastern washington state. I know God is faithful to answer this prayer of mine. I have an amazing husband and two young sons. And I know that in his timing he will reveal and open the door to a life giving friendship, it’s just hard on the hard days! Thank you so much for your prayer! Bless you my big sister!
Hey, Hannah. I have been away from the computer for over a week, but was just checking in to see where you live. I live in Florida on the opposite corner of the country! It would be hard for us to meet, but that will not stop me from praying for you! Counting on God to send you that friend!
Thanks Cathy! God sure is able, and I love that. Opposite corners indeed! I have a list of people I’m looking forward to meeting one day in heaven. I have a feeling we’ll pass in the buffet line at the marriage supper of the Lamb and there will be a knowing moment of “you were the one I prayed for” and what a nice meet up that will be. Even though on opposite corners, if you want we could be pen-pal prayer warriors for each other. What do you think? My email address is [email protected] Blessings to you!
Little Sister here,
I just feel like I’ve been trying to get through the same muck for far too long, like I’m not making any progress, not growing. I feel overwhelmed with all the little failures and inadequacies that seem to pile up around me and smother me.
I’m 36 years old and have been married to a wonderful man for 18 years, but lately it has been hard for me to WANT to be with him. It is easy to blame him sometimes, but I know that he is no more imperfect than I am.
Your Big Sister here . . . God does not miss a beat. Whatever you are going through – never think for a moment – that He can’t and won’t redeem it to His great glory. Whatever it is He wants to “kill” in us needs to be “killed.” Whatever He requires us to give up He will replace with something to powerful, so pure, so thrilling that, trust me, you won’t want to miss it! He is for us and not against us. Whatever pain we feel in the short-term is for gain in the long-term. YOU WILL NEVER BE SORRY YOU TRUSTED GOD!
Lil Sis here,
I have been struggling with this crushing iron jaw for about 7 years now.. every since my ex-husband left me and our two precious boys, then 7 and 9 after 12yrs of marriage. I knew from the start to give my ex to the Lord and I have..in fact he and his new wife have entrusted their lives to the Lord and even trusted in me as the god-mother to their now precious two year old.An awesome testimony in itself.
While I see the Lord in so may areas ..and have seen His blessings time and again with my boys and the relationship with their dad and step mom, how HE has provided for me, how He has protected me…im sorry to say that the enemy is taking me thru the coals with shame.
Shame of being divorced. I just watch on LifeToday your study on Psalm 25. I love it. I am in love with Gods word and read it and soak it up all the time…but wonder if I will ever realize God’s unconditional love for me and get over the SHAME the enemy has placed over me. I just read an article about how shame is Satans Secret weapon.. He is really using it to beat me down and make me less useful for the kingdom. I know that I have been called to help women see the truth of God’s word and help them in sparking a love for His word.. But Satan continues to get the best.. I want freedom from this..I NEED freedom from this!! God has so much more for me..but I can hardly see ahead.
I am so ready to be out of this last crushing 7 yrs.. I think will it ever stop.
Big sis here… Oh, my dear girl, what a deep rejection and betrayal that must be for you. I’m so sorry you have lived 7 years being beaten by Satan’s bludgeon of shame. He is such a bully!
From my experiences, it is the hardest times and not the easiest ones that have proved to be God’s equipping for what you see Him calling you to do. We can’t help anyone else see the truth and fall in love with God’s Word unless we are there ourselves, and it is the gut-wrenching, bloody battles of our lives that produce that fruit. (Perhaps some people can find it an easier way, but apparently I’m not one of them.)
Anyway, the reason I’m replying directly to you just now is that Ephesians 1 (esp. verses 3-14)came to mind as I read your honest words. Please spend some time there reading it, aloud if possible, multiple times, until the truth of how God sees you soaks into your very bones. You are blessed, adopted forever, accepted in the Beloved, chosen, redeemed, forgiven. *This* is who you are in Christ. This is the answer to the accuser’s roar.
Dear Mollie and the rest of you dear little sisters, I have prayed for you from Ephesians 1:16-23. Christ is seated above all other powers, including the enemy who roars against us. May we have enlightened eyes to see and hold dear the truths of God’s Word.
Little Sister here,
Feel so overwhelmed with BEING INTENTIONAL about it all… My walk with the Lord, my time in the Word, my prayer life, my study of good theology, my marriage, my fitness, educating my 4 young children, praying with them, memorizing scripture with them, showing them Christ’s
Grace, teaching them obedience, teaching them math facts, teaching them to eat well, teaching my
Girls purity and modesty and my boys authentic manhood, keeping my house organized and welcoming, on a tight budget….. BE INTENTIONAL EVERY SINGLE SECOND OF EVERY SINGLE DAY IN EVERY SINGLE RELATIONSHIP. Sometimes I just want to sit on the floor and let it all go on around me.
I am so with you! I’m a little sis, but know i feel your burden!! It is so hard. I just want to be with the Lord, and not feel the enormity of the tasks at hand. I know the Lord gives grace, but I desire to honor Him in my life too. I want to do those things, and do them well, but whew….
Big sister to Lesley and Megan,I have so been where you are. I am a perfectionist who loves making everybody else OK. The choices we make are huge. In our culture the choices we are most often going to have to make are between the very best and the good. The things we want to do to make others lives easier are good in and of themselves and very often they are necessary. But whenever possible – and it is possible, it just takes judgment and discipline – make the best choice to sit at Jesus’ feet. His Word will heal your mind, your heart, your soul, your feelings and anything else that needs healing. Love you both so and will be praying for you.
Big Sister here…… Wow, there are so many lilttle sisters here who are sturggling with many things I’ve struggled with in my 56 years. It is only through the grace of our Lord that any of us can get through! Little sisters – trust in God, know that He has your back. He knows exactly where you are at this moment, and He has a plan. His Word is your instruction manual! If you’re discouraged: Isaiah 40, If God seems far away, Psalm 139, and as Beth said, Psalm 25! Lastly, I leave you with Isaiah 41:10 – Do not be afraid, the Lord is with you! Love you all and am praying daily!
Your little sister here….
I need prayer and encouragement….I am 33 years old, I work full time from home (50 plus hours a week) raising three boys under 4, and caretaker to my mom who is under hospice care in my house…..I have felt defeted lately, emotionally and spiritually…..
Little Sister Here: I am 5 weeks away from having my first baby. One of my prayers is that I want my kids to have a great relationship with their grandparents and I want a great relationship with my mother in law, but I don’t know what that should look like. My parents & in-laws are wonderful, God-seeking individuals, who live very close. How do I put in place healthy boundaries while also making grandparents relevant for my kids? In your opinion, what role should grandparents play, and as a mother how do I fight for that in my kids lives?
While I may be a little sister too, as a mother of 2, I understand how important it is to you for your child to know and love his/her grandparents. I must admit that my parents and in-laws have made things easy for us, but there have been times when they disagreed with our decisions, mostly with our older daughter, now 8. Some things for you to remember that helped me were that they mean well and they’ve already raised children. (My mother-in-law raised 6!) Something you may need to remind them is that this is your first child and you are making the best decisions you can for the sake of that child. No offense, but all first time parents (myself included) are a little over protective, so just remind them that they were that way too. I was raised next door to my grandmother growing up, and the relationship I had with her is worth more than words can say. Congratulations on your new baby! And I hope these few words can bring you a little help.
Your little sister here;
I am exhausted. I’m having serious financial difficulties, I can’t make rent, my phone has been cut off, I can’t afford to shop for food. I’m 21 and care for my mum. I suffer from depression and right now? I’m nearing the end of my tether, I feel like I spend more time in tears than not. I could really use any encouragement you’re willing to give.
Stay strong in the Lord, Samantha!
Samantha:
How I wish I had words of encouragement for you that would turn your day around. I don’t, but God does. Beth mentioned Psalm 25. Start there and then head over to Psalm 63. Both of these Psalms sing of what you are going through-not specifically, but spiritually and emotionally. I do not know what you need to hear right now-but Christ does. Start in the Psalms and wander about a bit-the Holy Spirit will guide you to His words that will encourage you in just the right way.
As to the practical matters at hand-can your church lend you a hand or help with the care of your mother? Please, reach out to your church body. If you don’t have a church home, I encourage you to find one. Not just to help meet your needs, but so that you can be with a local body of believers that can be there for you in ways that only God’s people can be. You will be amazed that as they meet your needs you will help meet needs that God has set out just for you. Then, please read Numbers 6:24-26 and know that I am praying that over you.
Laura: Thank you, thank you, thank you. Your reply has filled me with newfound confidence in my situation, just knowing that someone out there is praying over me (reading the Numbers verse made me burst into tears) is so very helful.
I am in great need of finding a Church family. I have tried so hard many times to find the right church for myself but have yet been unable to find one that feels like home. I’ve been praying that I can find one. At times I feel so lost, I haven’t been able to connect with any other Beth Moore readers here in the UK and it’s hard to find somewhere that is as kind and lovely as her community.
I’m doing as Beth suggested and learning Psalm 25, I will carry onto 63 as you suggested also.
Thank you so much again for your kind words, I appreciate them so very much.
Big Sister here: Little sisters, and I’m speaking to those of you with little ones at home, hang in there! You are doing the most important work in this world! And I know sometimes you hear that and it sounds more like placating, but I’ve been there and I know how hard it is! My three are grown now, my baby about to leave for college and my daughter is raising her own two daughters. Being a Mom, whether you’re a stay-at-homer, or have another job(s) as well, is one tough career!! But SO worth it! Hang tough, ladies, you might develop some callouses along the way, but bringing up little human beings can be a most gratifying experience. It might not feel like it right now, but just know you are doing the hardest, but most IMPORTANT job there is on the face of this earth. Talk to God as often as you can, even if it’s two minutes here and there. And if you can, listen to Christian radio – music or talk programs (love Moody Bible radio) – it’ll feed your weary spirit. WE BIG SISTERS LOVE YOU!!!!!
Your little sister here. My husband and I are struggling with infertility. I don’t think we have experienced anything more heart breaking and just plain draining.
Little sister here, too. We are in the same boat — so painful, so heartbreaking. I wish I could find the right words!
Big Sister here (just! I am 40). Precious little sister R, I have walked the path of infertility- 8 long years of it. I know the pain and devastation of it. The growing grief. BUT. I also know that God can and will break through for you. I am barren and yet I have two amazing children. I am the Isaiah 54 (1-3) woman and I promise you if He rescued me and broke through for me he WILL do it for you.
Hold onto Psalm 12:8 and Psalm 84:3. Another key verse for me was Psalm 55: 16 and 17.
I long to put my arms around you and tell that I understand. And tell you not to give up, that He sees your tears (Psalm 56:8) I also want to tell you that because of this journey you will be an incredible mother. One who loves your children so much and appreciates them as the gift they are from God.
I will pray for you, my lovely R. I believe completely for your breakthrough. Sending you so much love all the way from New Zealand xxx
It was a nine year pit I was in. Completely bitter and broken. God has done a miraculous work in me but it’s still hard and sometimes I am tempted to waller in it… I done Beth’s Believing God series and received so much healing through the Word and teachings. Knowing God is not haphazard in what He allows in our life and knowing that it is all for His greater purpose and strengthening our relationship with Him helped… Granted if I’d heard it 5 or 6 years earlier I may not have received it as well… God knew just when to bring it to me. . I’m praying that you will receive healing and that your mothers heart will be satisfied with a child in your arms. (God blessed us with the adoption of our beautiful daughter. He is a God of miracles of all kinds) love you.
Big sister here. . .I understand your pain. While my husband and I have not been able to have children and I still have moments when I’m overwhelmed with not understanding why, what I can tell you is that God will heal your pain, and that He can work through the pain. He has amazing plans for each of us, even when we can’t see them completely. I’m praying for those of you who are going through this particular pain–may God give you all the peace to know that He is in control and His plans are good, to give you a future and a hope.
Big Sister here….oh, sweet girl, I know exactly what you are feeling! My husband (ex-husband now) and I struggled with infertility for 5 years. After so much pain, effort, tears, money and prayers I was exhausted. I really thought that God was not hearing my prayers because in my mind He certainly was not answering them! I realize now that in fact He was answering, but His answer was “no.”. He could see the bigger picture when I could not! He knew where my future was going in my marriage when I had no idea. We had not included God in our marriage and it was a failure! I have since learned that when you are trying to do things by your own plan and not working in God’s plan that it doesn’t work! As I have gone onto live the last 15 years as a single woman with no children I have learned that if I totally give everything over to our amazing God, He will work everything out for our good. I have 4 nieces and nephews that I am CRAZY about. I have spent last 15 years getting to know who I am. I have a love for Jesus that I cannot explain!! And I am grateful that He has this life of mine under control! I will not say that I do not wish that I had a child of my own, but my God is a big God and a faithful God and if that is in HIS plan, it will happen! Hang in there. Never quit praying. But, make certain you are also listening!
little sis:
I cried myself to sleep last night, literally crying so hard my diaphragm was convulsing and I could not catch my breath, finally I feel asleep. This message from Beth could not be more timely. I long for encouragement and deliverance from this situation.
Simple this situation is not, but to put it plainly I lost my job a year and a half ago after becoming visibly sick at work. I cannot find a job because of the profession I am in this situation follows me everywhere. It is a never ending daily battle to continue to wake with any sense of a positive attitude and any sense of purpose. I feel very passionate about this career path, and do not feel called to leave, though this would be the easier path. My friends keep telling me I am so strong, my strength is completely gone, I only can lean on Christ.
Big Sister here….
I read a very encouraging blog last week and I can’t remember the details but wanted to share what I got out of it. Bottom line….the worst is over. Once we were dying in our sins,lost and facing eternal separation from our God. It doesn’t get any worse than that. Now we are saved by grace and face a life of eternity free from torment with our Savior. Yep, the worst is definitely over. Can you say Hallelujah!!!!!
Your little sister here…
Homeschooling, stay-at-home mom to four girls. I know God has called me to this, but I need to be encouraged that He has plans for me that aren’t totally related to parenting my daughters. Someone asked me what big dreams I want to ask God to fulfill — honestly, I don’t think I even know how to dream those dreams anymore. I need a fresh breeze of inspiration to help me out of the doldrums. I know that the kiddos are only like this for a season, but I want to thrive, not just survive.
Big sister here. Lg, hang in there. I was a stay at home mom, home school mom for 19 years of two daughters. What a huge and awesome responsibility. My encouragement for you is to make your walk with Jesus your 1st priority. He is faithful and will help you complete what He has called you to do. Be careful not to place your children to high up. Only God can handle it. Be careful to take care of your husband an you self. Pray pray pray. Time in the Word and in prayer is never wasted. I cheer you on and pray for victory in your families lives. All for Gods glory
Dustalyn, thanks so much! I needed that too. It’s so helpful to know other moms who have homeschooled and survived!
I’m a little sister dealing with sadness that I’m not used too. My family just lost a dear man to cancer after being diagnosed a short 10 months ago. This man was a caring doctor, a loving grandfather to my children, my husband’s dad, and wonderful father in law. While we are still mourning the loss of him our precious dog escaped in fear from the fireworks on 4th of July. She has tags and we still without her not knowing what has happened to her. I know she is just a dog but she is apart of our everyday life and she completes our family. I have never gone through losing close ones. It is very hard to remain hopeful when there is such sadness, like the life is sucked out of you. I am remaining close to God because i need his stength and peace to get me through this sad time, but with the enemy attacking my mind with lies all encouraging words are welcome! Thank you God for big sisters! God Bless
Praying for you and your family Jennifer! So sad to lose your father in law and your dog. I can only imagine the devastation associated with both. I pray with all my might that it would be God’s will for your baby girl to make her way home, and also that God will give you peace and strength to make it through either way. Nothing is impossible for our God!! Blessings to you!
Brandy thank you so much for prayer and kind words. It means so much. God bless you!
Big sister here. . .I’m praying for you, Jennifer, as you work through your grief. And, Lord, I’m asking that you bring her back to Jennifer’s family. Lord, we know this is a dog, but You brought her to Jennifer’s family, and we’re asking that You bring her home. And, Father, we’re asking for a sense of peace for Jennifer and her family. Amen.
Thank you so much Lilli for praying for me and my family, it means so much! Also thank you for taking the time to read my story and care. God bless you!
Little sister here…
First, Beth – I am reading Get Out of that Pit currently and have already found encouragement there – thank you.
I am near the eldest of the “little sister” range and am still single without prospects of a Godly husband. I have no desire to be in a bad relationship or marriage, so I don’t beg God to bring me love, but rather that the one who knows me better than myself will meet the needs I have in relationships.
Now, I dearly love my many friends who are married, but when you complain endlessly about your husband and your household during the few times we get together, I get frustrated. My relationships require me to be the flexible one (you KNOW she has a FAMILY to think about) when we might visit and sometimes all I want is a hug.
The little things help – saying thank you because I rearranged my schedule for you or answered your call for help in the middle of the night – sending me a quick text or e-mail to remind me that you’re praying for me.
The world (and especialy the church) is made for “two or mores” – whether husband and wife or parent and children and I need your kindness and compassion as well.
Blessings to you all
Big sister here: Little sister, remember that nothing is too difficult for our God! He made the heaven and the earth by His great power and His outstretched arm! (Jer 32:17)He will heal your body, mend your broken heart, lift your spirit, save your soul, refresh your mind, move your mountain, provide for you needs, and so on….. He is everything and anything you need. Grab on to the hem of his robe and don’t let go!
Big sister here-
Let me first say that I have tears streaming down my face as I write this because at one time or another in my life I’ve been through almost every situation listed here and my heart literally hurts for you. I’d like to say that in those times I dug into God’s word, memorized scripture, and prayed like there was no tomorrow, but I didn’t. Some of the time the struggles were so suffocating I could hardly breathe. I remember one day sitting in my car begging God to take me home, because I just didn’t think I could do even one more second of life on this earth. Satan is a liar, a deceiver & a theif, and he comes at you when & where you least expect it and in the sneakiest of ways, and I have fallen victim to his schemes way more often than I would like to admit. But hear this, ladies…HE LOSES THE BATTLE!
I wish I could say that I walked victoriously through every struggle knowing at the time that Christ had it all under control, but I didn’t-If there was a wrong way to go through the struggle, I found it! I’m a total control freak so rather than politely handing my struggles over to God, He usually has to pry them from my tightly clenched fists even as I pray for Him to take them. But He hears me…and He hears you, too. Nothing you’re going through is a surprise to Him-He created your heart, and knows you better than you know yourself. He wants you to share it all with Him-the good, the bad & the ugly-and I think the God who created the earth from chaos, can probably handle anything we’ve got to share! He loved me when I couldn’t love myself…and I began to believe I was worth it. When I spewed ugliness at Him, He loved me still…and when I hurt, He comforted me. When I had four hungry little tummies and no food, He provided. And when my husband lost his job, we lost our home, and our precious son was stillborn all within a few weeks, and I couldn’t even find the strength to stand, He carried us through. Looking back, our every need was provided for during that time, often before we knew the need existed, and sometimes in ways more beautiful than I even felt worthy to ask…because He knew my heart. He knows yours, too, and trust me when I say that if He can still pursue a relationship with the mess that I am most days, He will surely do the same for you! Know that God’s promises are as true for you as they are for anyone else, and hold on to them with all you’ve got for as long as it takes. Though struggles may seem like forever when you’re going through them, they’re only for a season, and the seasons DO change. Know that you are sooo loved, and being lifted up in prayer by this big sister!
Your little sister here would just love to have some friends who put consistent effort into friendship. I have heard all the excuses why they haven’t called or e-mailed or whatever it is that prevents them from responding. Relationships take effort and sometimes aren’t convenient, but it’d do my heart good especially right now to have someone reciprocate/initiate as we’re in the middle of a military move. We’re so happy to be back in the States, but the transition will take more time as we look for housing, a new church, wait for a few months to receive our household goods, and start (home) schooling again.
Little sister here: I am a SAHM of 2 and i don’t love it. I feel guilt over that. Each day is a struggle to just shower, brush my teeth, and find something to wear that fits, let alone make it look like I did anything productive. We are low on money and energy around here.
I wish i loved it. I wish I looked forward to each day. It is just so boring sometimes. I need a fast forward view of the benefits of staying home and why it is so important.
I read some previous posts and I’m going to work on focusing my mind on offering God a sacrifice of praise because in this season it will really be a sacrifice. Also, i’m going to try to look for my deodorant and get dressed first thing… flylady.com
Dear Andrea…big sister here….not everyone loves staying at home. I have three kids ages 3, 12 and 15. I have always worked part-time. I think It would drive me crazy to stay home all the time. Some of our sweet sisters are called to this and excel at it (not sayin it’s easy, but they’re gifted for it!) and thank God because they provide so much support to our kids and to those of us who work! However, this may not be the way you were wired -maybe it is, and this is just a tough season – but if it is not, do not feel gulilty! God did not make a mistake when he made you! One of the best gifts you can give your precious children is for them to see you content and joyful doing the good things God has created you to do! Even if that means they spend some time with another caregiver and you sometimes eat fast food! Blessings little sister!
Thank you for your response. My husband wants me to stay at home. I did have a great job before that would have worked around a child-rearing schedule. He did not want me to work. It was such a bittersweet and terrible feeling. I want him and my kids to have the best of me, not the leftovers. But maybe part time work would help with everything. I will think about it and pray about it so thank you for that suggestion. My baby boy just said “I love you” to me for the first time a couple of days ago and it just was so sweet. Someone else posted that they pray asking God to show them the blessings each day when they need it. I am going to start doing that.
Little sister here. There is so much I don’t know where to start! I am 35 years old. My marriage of 17 years is coming to a close because my husband has chosen an addiction over me and this addiction is taking over his life. I feel so helpless for him but there is nothing else I can do but pray for him! We have two boys together, 8 and 6. They are so wonderful. They are a gift to me from God! I believe something terrible is happening to one or both of them. I can’t say exactly what because this is a very public blog. I am doing everything in my power to find out the truth, especially PRAYING, taking them both to counseling. I just need God to reveal deep and hidden things and to let His light shine in the dark! My boys need to be rescued but, legally, my hands are tied!
Thank you, Beth for this post! I will see you next Friday in Austin! I can’t wait!
I love you all so much!
Sacha
Big sister here…I posted below too, but I wanted to tell you I’m praying for all those involved in the legal process, for God’s light to shine upon the specifics with your boys. Darkness HAS to flee in His Presence – Amen!
But also, remember your husband has rejected God’s best for his life, but you are NOT rejected (Is.54).
I’ve been THERE. Keep looking to Him – don’t give up. God is NOT giving up! He is there! He is faithful!
Your 60 year old big sister here – I have just read the first (latest) page of comments and am struck by the number of little sisters crying out for help as opposed to the number of big sisters answering back. Maybe the big sisters are like me – almost speechless over the pain our dear little sisters are feeling. We just don’t know what to say to make it all better. We have ALL been there where you are to some degree, and at times we still find our faith being tested by illnesses, deaths, overwhelming schedules and, as we get older, the pain of seeing our own adult kids suffering the same things you little sisters are.
I am asking God to tell me what to say to you, and this is what I’m getting: When earthly problems cause me to fall into ungodly traps of fear or despair, I have found great comfort in literally standing up to satan and telling him (yes, out loud and usually very loudly!) to just back off and leave me alone because I belong to Jesus and He is more powerful than satan can ever hope to be. Then I ask Jesus to back me up on this and add His power to my prayer, since I am just following His directions from scripture to “resist the devil and he will flee from you”. This doesn’t remove the problem – the illnesses and deaths and etc. are still there – but it allows me to have that wonderful peace that God promises to those who lean only on Him. The fear and despair are gone.
I didn’t mean to give such a long comment, but it seemed that what all the little sisters needed most was a little peace in the midst of their storms. God promises that peace in Philippians 4:6-7, and satan takes great delight when he can get us to forget this promise and give in to fear and despair. It takes great courage the first time you actually speak directly to satan to rebuke him, but ask God to give you the strength to do it and He will. It is easier each time after that. Remember, greater is He that is in you. Your big sisters are praying for you.
Your little sister here needs encouragement to stay the course. I am in a period of my life that I feel like God is calling me to stay the course He has me on while it is not the one I would choose nor do I feel like it is His ultimate goal for me but it is where He has me now. I have been through the fire of grief and horrible times with the Lord in the past and I know He can get me through that and heal me because He HAS (praise God!)and while this season is so less traumatic, it is sooooooo LONG and unfulfilling. I need to know He can sustain me indefinitely until this season is over. He’s walked me through really bad times in my life but for some reason this is wearing me down more than those. Probably because to me, it is indefinite. The end is known only by Him. I have prayed through this more times than you can imagine in the last few years and I feel like His response is always the same, “No, not yet, keep waiting, you’re time will come, etc.” I need help to persevere because while I refuse to walk away from this season, I struggle more days than not with restlessness and unfulfilled longing. Considering all the truly bad things people I know are struggling through right now, I feel so bad about struggling with just maintaining a season that leaves me restless but it seems that time is wearing me down.
Oh, little sister, big sister here. I am RIGHT THERE WITH YOU. Just finished my MA and have NO idea where God is taking me, and He’s not feeling chatty about it. I’m not on the street but this is still SCARY. All I can tell you is what I tell myself, and what God tells me every single day: “I know this is hard. Hang in there!”
There’s a reason for this. I don’t get it, right now. Neither do you. Neither did Joseph. God let him hang out in prison for what? 13 years? (Please, Jesus, don’t leave us here for THAT long!) You and I need to remind each other that there is a PURPOSE in the waiting. God NEVER wastes time. He NEVER wastes pain. Hang in there!
The only other thing I can tell you is this: during this time of waiting, God keeps calling me to my prayer couch. My times of prayer with Him have expanded daily–worship can go on for 40 minutes, prayer for still longer, Bible reading…heavens… and still He calls, and meets me there, and blesses me. PRESS IN TO HIM. Use this time. Create your own cloister and close the door.
When He opens it, you will be ready.
Love and prayers for you!! : )
Big Sister here with a shout out to all you little sisters…you are persevering when the enemy would like to entangle you…but you are getting up and keeping going…”a long obedience in the same direction,” as Eugene Peterson says. Some days you just feel like you are hanging on by the skin of your teeth…but the reality is that Jesus is holding onto you all the time.
Jesus loves you. He sees your lovely heart. He adores you. Even when you think He’s asleep in the boat, He is right there, cheering for you. I know the woes and waves of the day seem huge. But Whoa! God is bigger still than all those woes.
Watch for the love notes He leaves you all through the day and night. That bird on your back deck. The friendly wag of a tail from a dog. The sunset He painted for you. The song that flew into your head in the middle of a mess today. Those are the Lover saying little sweetheart words to your weary heart.
Is your work a mess? Or your marriage? Or your kid? Or your heart? That doesn’t stop your true Lover from wooing your heart. He loves you when you are up and He loves you when you are down. He loves you, loves you, loves you.
Genesis 1 is a good reminder that, in the midst of chaos, God brings forth light and life.
You are loved. By God the Father, Jesus the Son, the Comforter Holy Spirit. And by all your older sisters. Press into the Presence of the Beloved One who calls you His Beloved!
I am passionate about us older sisters caring for our younger sisters…what can we do to make this happen more concretely and more regularly?
Joyfully,
Lane
This is beautiful encouragement Lane! Thank you!!!
Little sister here…I have been unemployed for 13 months now after giving my heart and soul to a company for nearly twenty years. One thing I learned, no company deserves my heart and soul. Nearing 40, single, no kids, no career. Have to move out of my home by the end of the month…so add no home to that list. Wondering what I have to show for the past twenty years…trying to trust. I am reminded of the scripture in John 6 when people were leaving Jesus and He asked the Twelve if they wanted to leave too. Peter’s response: Lord, to whom shall we go? That response sums it up…no where else to go.
Your little sister here…
My husband had an affair.
We moved to a new state and left behind our friends, our church, our jobs.
Sometimes I struggle with seeing what good God is doing in this, and I wonder if He’s forgotten about me, or, even worse, if He’s really there at all.
I am just empty.
Your Big Sister here…
Oh little sister, He is there!!!! PLEASE believe that !!! Satan would have you to doubt it but don’t you let him do that to you. What happened to you is awful and I know you are hurting terribly but God is there. He may feel so silent to you right now but He’s right there with you, holding you with His unseen hand. I’m vowing to you that right this very moment, I am praying for you. I’m praying for a renewed relationship between you and your husband, yes it CAN happen.I’m praying for His peace to calm you, and for His mighty presence to fill you until you know from the depths of your deepest hurt that he is holding you tight right now. Pray. I sometimes get face first down on my floor and cry out to Him. He has not forgotten you. Try not to be discouraged. I know its hard but you CAN do it. You are stronger than you think. I love you and I am praying, I promise. God loves you. Don’t give up.
A little sister here….. I am 33, married for 14 yrs, and have 3 boys. Somewhere during the 14 yrs of marriage we forgot how to be friends 🙁 Our marriage seems to be falling apart. I need to hold on to the Word and I need my Man to take hold of the Word for me and our boys.
Big sister here. Hold on! Don’t give up. Love is a choice, so make it. Find a babysitter or a friend to trade babysitting with. You need to invest in your marriage, go on dates, have some fun. It doesn’t take much money, just creativity. I have been married 31 years and it has not been easy. At times, it would have been easier to walk away, at least that is what Satan would have had us believe. Don’t give up. Praying for you now. Dear Heavenly Father, I bring you Melanie and her husband and ask that you rekindle that love in their marriage. That you provide opportunities for them to become friends again. That they would not listen to the world’s lies, but to your truth that love comes from you and love never fails. In Jesus Name, Amen.
Thank you!
Big Sister here,
I would encourage the moms of young children to start looking for a MOPS group to join in the fall. Your church may not have one, don’t let that stop you. MOPS is a place to meet other moms, be around adults and have the chance to be mentored by an older women.
Little sister here struggling with financial issues. All brought on by my own poor decisions, but need to be dealt with regardless. I’m not worried, but scared…have prayed and prayed to know which way to turn and how best to resolve the issues and never feeling an answer. I know there is an ultimate plan and it will work out in time…when?!
Going to dive into Psalm 25 tonight…
Big Sister here. I can only tell you what’s worked for me, and it’s what Mama Beth said: get in the Word. And when you do, LISTEN. God is seeking to do a transformative work in your life, but sometimes you get so caught up in your own petitions that you forget to let the Holy Spirit talk to you. And boy, can He talk! : ) He can give comfort like you wouldn’t believe. Look for Him in the little moments. He might give you a butterfly fluttering by your window or a perfect song on the radio…He might give you a moment of joy with that exasperating child or a quiet moment with Him over your morning coffee. Thank Him for every bit of it…and when He calls you to prayer or calls you to that fast or calls you to give up that ONE thing that’s awful but you really don’t think you can part with, do obey Him. He is doing it for your good and He will power you through it, sister!
And when you’re angry, don’t be embarrassed to let it all out to Him. David did. (I do, too.) God won’t smack you down for it–He’ll love you. He’ll hold you. He’ll bottle every tear. And He’ll bring you through. He’s done it for us. (He’s still doing it for us.)
Love, hugs and prayers to you all!
a big sis here. so many of the little sisters are writing about loneliness and feeling overwhelmed. and i understand. i remember feeling like the most NEEDED person on earth in my thirties. what has remained steadfast, absolutely rock solid throughout the ups and downs of life is god’s word.
having read that through crazy tears.
Your Little Sister here,
I don’t feel like I have a moment where the devil ISN’T trying to destroy my world. People around me have resorted, and I put a stop to, calling me Job. He attempts to attack nearly every part of my life. every. single. day.
I’m tired, and I feel like I am failing at every turn. the issues that are issues in my life never seem to get better or easier and it feels with a 9 year old who demands round the clock medical care, never ending financial woes, three other children who need mom too, and a mother I haven’ seen in 15 years…and a husband…HERE is hard.
Little Sister here… If I had to choose a word to describe the last two years of my life it would have to be BETRAYAL. I’ve seen and experienced nearly every kind. Between that, my health and my dad’s death I feel like I’ve been living in the valley. I’m starting to see the top of the mountain but I don’t want to miss one mossy rock in the valley either. I want to glean every bit of wisdom that God has for me in this… cause I don’t want to come back! My marriage, my kids, my health and anything else Christ wants me to do are my only concerns now… I just don’t know what that is. I don’t want to just get out of this valley alive but to to soar off the mountain and live on mission for Christ!
Big Sister here – Oh, my heart is breaking over all the attacks you little sisters are experiencing. Please hold on tight to Jesus. Some days my prayers have been Jesus, Jesus, Jesus, when I just did not have the words to even speak.
Please just grab onto the Word of God, memorize Psalm 25 like Beth said or just pray one verse at a time. Don’t let go of the Word and cling to it like it’s a life preserver in the middle of the ocean. God will hear you and answer. Hold tight, girls, because He never leaves you nor forsakes you.
Be encouraged and keep seeking the Lord. He knows your heart, just pour it all out before him and hang in there. YOU ARE LOVED by us Big Sisters!