Meet My Sister

My hands have been frozen on the computer keyboard while I took in the pure profundity of this moment in my personal life and family life and, Lord, have mercy, my spiritual life. When I say that I am about to share something gigantic to me, I am not kidding. I am bug-eyed that this is really happening and it is everything I can do not to type these words to you from face down on the floor. My dear Siestas, it is my great honor to introduce you to my blood sister, with whom I was raised and with whom I shared a room for many years and many secrets. Some crippling. We have known much pain together and much devastation apart and were so close growing up that one of us could hardly be okay if the other were not. Today – and for this moment – we are both okay. And blessed. Redeemed. Forgiven. And, in staggering ways, restored. Only because of Jesus.

Years ago in a speaker/teacher workshop, the consummate Christian communicator, Florence Littauer, taught us to ask ourselves two questions before standing in front of an audience: “Do I have anything to say?” And, “Do people need to hear it?” I can confidently say today that, if Florence Littauer knew my sister and her story, she’d tell her to open her mouth and rarely shut it till God took her Home. Oh, Sisters, does she ever have something to say and do people ever need to hear it!

Please meet my older sister by three years, Gay Tuttle. She and I are two of five siblings who we love as much as we love each other. I do not know anyone well who has a more powerful and genuine testimony than Gay. Her rescue and revival flooded over into mine. God used her healing to add to mine. It is with the hope that God could use it to somehow impact you that I make this introduction.  My heart is pounding with awe and reverence as we release her story – and at times our story – to the public. In her words. I have not edited a single sentence. Here you will find the first of several installments of this story of redemption that, God willing, we hope to share with you over the weeks to come. I don’t want to put her into a time crunch but you could reasonably expect them about 1 to 2 weeks apart. Pray for her as she writes to you. Sometimes we have to relive to RE-LIVE.

As I put her out here for the eyes of multiple thousands, I beg you from the deepest part of my heart to take good care of my sister. This is huge for her and huge for me. Allow her the freedom to talk in the language that she presently speaks and with the terms she presently uses. I believe you will be so blessed. Very few of you Siestas need me to say this but, because I do not want to throw her to even two wolves, I ask you to please refrain from preaching to her. Instead, receive from her. Just let her share with you a vivid flesh-and-blood illustration of the gospel of Jesus Christ, the Son of God. These won’t be articles for legalists. These will be articles for people who do believe or who want to believe with all their hearts that “it is for freedom that Christ has set us free.” (Galatians 5:1)  If I didn’t believe you were the kind of people to embrace her with lavish affection, I’d never take this chance. But I know you, Siestas. I know she will be well cared-for here. By the way, she knows you a bit, too. She’s been reading the blog and many of your comments now for a year. So, without further introduction, my beloved Siestas, please meet my beloved Sister, Gay. I am now full-on crying.


Hi Siestas!  My name is Gay and I’m an alcoholic.  I’m not just any alcoholic.  I am a serious, hardcore, dedicated, classic, textbook alcoholic.  I drank just like that for thirty-seven years, all of my adult life, with the exception of the last two and three-quarter years.  Today I have 1000 days of sobriety, nights included, weekends too, consecutive, all in a row, no breaks, no slips and no sneaks.  Now, that might not sound like much of an accomplishment to those who have stayed sober all of their lives or for those who drink responsibly, but for ME, it is a flatout miracle from God!!

To be honest, Sweet Siestas, I have grappled with how to introduce myself on this most-esteemed blog until I almost didn’t come out here at all.  Because I have been “raised up” in the rooms of Alcoholics Anonymous and in our beloved Mercy Street, a church that ministers to many in recovery, the word “alcoholic” just rolls off my tongue.  I don’t even think about it.  It feels right, it sounds right, IT IS RIGHT!!  It is a huge part of who I am and I own that.  My God-given, God-planned deliverance from it is my testimony and I believe with all my heart that there are those of you who have, at the very least, people in your lives who have struggled or are strugging with some similar experiences and need some hope.  That’s about as simple as it gets.  I am quick to blurt it out for another reason as well, possibly the most important one:  I do not want to forget.  I believe that in order to LIVE what I have been delivered to I must REMEMBER what I have been delivered from.

What it was like:

I started drinking at seventeen years old as a rebellious teenager (loved it), continued to do it through the “functioning” years (tolerated it) and moved on to radical self-medicating simply to kill the pain, much of which I caused myself (hated it).  I was given countless opportunities to recover and refused.  By the time I got serious and very scared, it was too late.  I was hopelessly addicted to alcohol, both mentally and physically, and I had lost the power of choice.  So I threw in the towel and proceeded to try to drink myself out of my misery and miserable existence, to death.  And I almost did, many times, but for the radical grace of God.  I lost my husband, my children, my job, the trust of my family, my home, my car, my driving privileges, my self-respect, my dignity, my values, my freedom and the list goes on and on.  I was confined to jails and institutions more times than I can count.  I thought I was a certifiable lunatic because WHO would drink after all that???  And that wasn’t the bottom for me; I ended up homeless and on the street (yes, outside!) for approximately eighteen months.

What happened:

God intersected into my life like a burning bolt of lightning and in the blink of an eye my story took an abrupt about-face and became His Story.

What it is like now:

A thousand days of sobriety and a God bigger than life Who requires a lot of WORK from me, have molded and chiseled me into far more than an alcoholic.  I am a loving and responsible mother, sister and friend.  I am a dedicated employee and member of Mercy Street who believes in its mission and lives it OUT LOUD.  I am a driver with a valid Texas drivers license and insurance, a car owner, townhouse dweller, volunteer, law-abiding citizen, taxpayer (ugh), sponsor, sponsee and recovery coach.  I sit on three committees that are a part of the Houston Area Recovery Initiative for the fourth largest city in the country.  I am a Servant and Lover of God who is fully dedicated to following His will for my life which is to share my experiences, both there and back, and offer hope of God’s deliverance for all who suffer from a similar seemingly hopeless state of mind and body.

I hope to offer a unique perspective, possibly even tilting the axis a bit (in a good way), of an intimate relationship with this most Mysterious Jesus God who never leaves us or forsakes us no matter how far down the scale we have gone.  I love Him because He loves me, all of me.  He first loved me!  I had been taught that as a child and had sung Jesus Loves Me since I could form words.  Yet I had forgotten that while I was out there in the wilderness, pounding the hot concrete with bare feet.  I didn’t know the love, grace and mercy of God until I walked off of that concrete and began the journey out of the pit, to hope and a future, to FREEDOM.

“The Spirit of the Sovereign LORD is on me, because the LORD has anointed me to proclaim good news to the poor. He has sent me to bind up the brokenhearted, to proclaim freedom for the captives and release from darkness for the prisoners,”  Isaiah 61:1-3

I am going to tell you my story, Sweet Siestas, if you care or dare to listen.  I promise I will be honest and candid, direct and to the point.  I will try my best not to ramble on about the problem without moving quickly to the solution.  For me, not just any alcoholic, there is but One Solution.  Not just any God.  It takes a God the size of the universe, bigger and badder than them all, to accomplish for us and through us what we cannot do for ourselves.  It takes the all powerful, all consuming, all merciful Crazy Love of Jesus and our full acceptance of who we are in and to Him.  It takes a willingness to do WHAT HE ASKS, which is A LOT.  It takes honesty and authenticity.  This is Who I Am and it only matters what God thinks because of Who He Is.  Then its Katie bar the door!  Here am I, send me, all of me, scars, limps and all.  And He will and He does because He loves us with a love that transcends all barriers and which is, well … indescribable.  Brennan Manning, my second favorite author, wrote these words in The Furious Longing of God:  “Employing adjectives such as furious, passionate, vehement, and aching to describe the longing of God are my mumbling and fumbling to express the Inexpressible.  Yet, I plod on.” Please bear with me, my Siestas, while I mumble and fumble to express the Inexpressible.


Dear Jesus God, You know that the absolute best prayer I ever prayed in my life was the simplest of all prayers:  God, Please Help Me!  I’m praying it again now, Dear Jesus.  Please help me to be effective in Your world and for Your glory and honor alone.  Please help me to shine the light of Jesus in the darkest night, to the wounded and broken who need a shred of hope because everyone needs some, Lord.  I love you with all my heart and soul.  I am Yours, all of me.  Amen.


1,534 Responses to “Meet My Sister”

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  1. 1101
    Michelle B. says:

    Thank you for your story and your willingness to share it. We learn so much from the experience’s of others.

    Wow … thank you 🙂

  2. 1102
    Laura S says:

    Gay, My name is Laura and I’m an alcoholic! October 5th, 2004 is my birthday. Isn’t it sweet?! Praise God for you, your courage and all of your wonderful words. Thank you! You rock!!!!

    • 1102.1
      Brittany says:

      Laura, thank you for writing this. Is really encourages me to see other alcoholics with time longer than I can imagine.

    • 1102.2
      Gay says:

      It is SO SWEET!!! I’ve often said that sobriety is the best gift I’ve ever been given in my life and that if its the ONLY ONE I get, its ENOUGH!!! It reminds me of a song we sang in church on Sunday morning and the tears roll down my cheeks every time we sing it, “Your grace is enough, Your grace is enough, Your grace is ENOUGH FOR ME!!!” It is so sweet.

      Loved you are, Laura S. Congratulations on 7+ Years!!!

      Hang with me, girlfriend.

  3. 1103


  4. 1104
    Josie says:

    Thank you for telling your story. Eight years ago I stood in front of a liquor store on a crowded street in Boston. It was a pivotal moment in my life. I was alone, clinically depressed, and working in a job where I literally “pulled the plug” for patients on life support. I was a church-girl…never partied and never drank socially. I stood there wanting something to ease the pain – the next 6 days were going to be unbearable. But as I stood there with Satan whispering sweet temptations in my ear, I thought about people like you. People who have overcome addictions and have shared their testimonies and victories. I thought over and over of the stories I’d heard. How not one of you had ever recommended going through what you all had. In fact, you had all given stern warnings complete with horrific experiences. I decided then that I didn’t have to buy into any lies. I had learned from all of you not to give in, to stick with God and choose Him. It was people like you who helped even me, a church girl who never thought in a million years I would be tempted in that way one day. You keep telling your story. Every day and to anybody within ear shot. I love you!

    • 1104.1
      Gay says:

      Josie — I am touched beyond words at your story above. Thanks from the bottom of my heart. I would have never ever thought about it in this particular way. Wow!! God is so good, isn’t He? Again, thanks!

      Loved you are,

  5. 1105
    Tanya Hoffman says:


    We are all sinners saved by grace and EVERY single story of redemption should be shouted to the rooftops to the glory and honor of the One and Only!

    Share your story boldly Sister and with confidence that God will use it for His glory!

  6. 1106
    Wendy says:

    Your sincerity, honesty, and sweet devotion to Jesus is like a breath of fresh air. I, to am a recovering alcoholic and addict sober 2 1/2 years. Although a fan of Jesus for many years, I finally became a follower when I had lost everyone and everything and ended up in a rehab with people just like me. Alone, broken, desperate, nothing to offer and nothing to give, I had come to the very end of myself and thats where I found Him. My Redeemer. My Healer. The Absolute Love of My Life! Thank you Gay for sharing your life with us.

    • 1106.1
      Gay says:

      Wendy — I couldn’t have said it better myself! You stay in touch with me, ok? 2-1/2 years!! Congratulations!!! We’re right together, in more than length of sobriety, my Sister. He is the Absolute Love of My Life!!

      Loved you are,

  7. 1107
    Susan T says:

    Dearest Gay~ Thank you so much for your willingness to tell your story here. It is so timely in that just in the past 2 weeks, I have personally come into contact of 4 different ladies that are connected to me through my church that are currently struggling with addiction. They come from different backgrounds and different walks of life, but what is striking is that they all look like me- they could be me.

    I am looking forward to listening to your heart and to hear how God has delivered you. May God richly bless you and keep you!

    Your siesta,

  8. 1108
    Elaine says:

    Thank you Gay for sharing this with us! It took so much courage. It is a wonderful reminder that our God is greater than ANYTHING we face. Bless you!

  9. 1109
    Michele says:

    What a beautiful yet harrowing and inspirational story. Thank you so much for sharing. I will always treasure what you wrote and am so proud of you. Our God is awesome!!

  10. 1110
    Diane Burdall says:

    Thank you, Gay for sharing so deeply, honestly and candidly. What a testament to the faithfulness of our Abba Father. Thank you both, Beth and Gay, for taking the courage and doing this. Blessings and much love in Jesus from across the pond xxx

  11. 1111
    Lori T says:

    Tears of Empathy rolling down my cheeks.

    Welcome, beloved Gay! It is such an honor and a privilege to here your story become His story. That of redemption, hope, and purpose. I will keep you in my prayer life as you begin to re-live your past so that you can make a difference in my future and the future of other Siestas. Glory be to Jesus God is about all I know to say right now. I wish I was there to to see your smile and grace in living color. One day, Siesta, one day! For now, I am so happy to be in your company. Thank you for taking mustering up the courage to share. You are loved and cherished here!

    Lori, Austin, TX

  12. 1112
    Faran says:


    I have not oommented on this blog in a while, but reading your testimony just compelled me to chime in. How I love your honesty and your obvious delight in what God is doing in and through you!

    In my 20s I had a looong season of selfish living and although alcoholism wasn’t my issue, I needed Divine deliverance. I delight, too, that God could use the mess that I was.

    I don’t know you, but I sure love you! Keep on, girl!

  13. 1113
    Janet from FL says:

    I am honored and blessed by your decision to tell your story first here to the siestas. Telling your story in public for the first time must be difficult. It takes courage. It takes honesty. Thank you for choosing to tell us. I look forward to hearing more about your life.

  14. 1114
    Kelly S says:

    Gay- I love you with my whole heart, as my sister in Christ.

    You write in such a beautiful way. To God be the glory and YOU GO GIRL.

    Amazing Grace!!!!
    Kelly in Michigan

  15. 1115
    deborah says:

    Hallelujah! May GOD continue to flow through you, Gay. Thanks for the encouragement. I have not suffered from alcoholism, but I have impatience and selfishness that seem to constantly bombard me. Thanks for the encouragement that He is able and faithful to rise us above!

  16. 1116
    Brittany says:

    It’s me again. I’m not sure what to write but I felt like I should write something. I’m still clean and sober. And I’ve been reading comments (both to my original comment and others) and the community here is amazing. I want to stay but at the same time I am terrified of y’all. Everyone seems so sure of themselves and I’m not sure of anything. I’m not sure of myself, of y’all, or even God at this point. But I’m willing to try. I’m willing to listen to the voices calling for me to live rather than the voices screaming that I should die. I’m listening and waiting. And for now I hope that’s okay.

    • 1116.1
      Sharon Meekins says:

      Dearest Brittany, Stay Strong! You are so loved!

    • 1116.2
      Holly C says:

      Brittany- please choose life! Here’s the kicker: Life is a person, and HE LOVES YOU. we love you too. It would be great for you to stay and comment more and be part of our Siesta community. You will be fully welcomed and fully accepted, just as the rest of us have been. I actually think you may be in a really safe place, in not being sure of God, it allows Him to describe Himself to you. Ask away! He listens to us and answers us, and He’ll do the same to you 🙂
      Glad to have you here!!

    • 1116.3
      Sandy says:

      Dear Brittany,
      I am praying for you. You are important to God, and He has a purpose for you. Stay sober and alert to His voice.

      Thank you, again, Gay and Beth, and thank you, too, Brittany!

    • 1116.4
      Melany says:


      I’m praying for you right now. Believe me, everyone here (including me) has had times of being VERY unsure. Even now, tons of things in my life are really unstable, but God has never left me or let me down. I know He’ll catch you, too! You are not alone in your feelings!

    • 1116.5
      JennLee says:


      Even Christians who seem sure of themselves actually must spend as much time listening and waiting as you are. One of the wonderful things about faith is the mystery of it – we will not ever understand all there is to understand about God or His ways while we are on this earth. That leaves room for a lot of doubt, yes, but it also leaves room for lots of sweet surprises and wonderful confirmations of His love for us. You listen to the Voice that calls you to live! That’s the truth. And you come here with your cautious, unsure self as much as you can – we are ALL broken people in various stages of healing in the arms of Jesus. You’ll find love here.

    • 1116.6
      Jeana says:

      I also have never commented on this blog; only looked in as an outsider, but I felt compelled to respond to your entry. I’ve been praying for you since you first posted. I struggled with anorexia and bulimia for years. And I still struggle with body image but I have overcome. It’s not easy to overcome an addiction and even harder to admit you have one. But as they say, secrets keep us sick. So keep us posted, the good and the bad, because we won’t judge. We will only pray harder.

    • 1116.7
      Gay says:

      Brittany — There are so many comments out here and I’m going from the back forward right now so I may not have read your first one … yet. I’m pretty sure that everyone out here is not sure of themselves, ME INCLUDED! I had a lot of fear trying to make the decision about WHEN to put my story out here. Brittany, I was STRICKEN WITH FEAR the whole first year of my sobriety. Even though I knew God existed because I WAS ALIVE, I wasn’t sure that I could or would stay sober. We question ourselves, and have good reason to, because we are HUMAN. It takes time and baby steps, my Sister, baby steps, one day at a time. I think you’re doing GREAT!! Stay out here with me, Brittany. We’ll do this thing together, ok?

      You will be at the top of my prayer list!! God is able, THAT YOU CAN TRUST!!

      Loved you are,

  17. 1117
    Sharon Meekins says:

    Dearest Gay,

    Thank you for sharing your story! To God be all the glory! You are loved!

  18. 1118
    Holly C says:

    Tears! I am brought to tears by the Freedom you shout out! I love this, thank you so much for sharing your story. I’ll be honest and say I don’t relate to it at all, but I do know the same God, and relate to your story because He plays the staring roll!
    You’re amazing Gay, thank you for opening up to us!!

  19. 1119
    Melany from TN says:

    I’m also leaving a second comment. Gay, I think that, like your sister, you have a gift for writing! What you wrote is not only inspiring but also riveting and easy to read!

  20. 1120
    Kathleen says:

    Amen and Amen!!!

    Beth- Thanks for trusting us with your sister. I haven’t commented in so long, but this one needs a shout for the work God has done. Praise you Lord! I took the CLASS seminar and know and live in the same city as Marita, Florence’s daughter, the hub of CLASS. I bet she/Florence would love to hear Gay’s story too. 🙂

    Gay- before I got to the end of your post, I thought to myself….ahhh this is Brennan Manning! He too is my second favorite author, and I bet we share a same first favorite as well 🙂 Your story parallels my dad’s story. Brennan was friends with my former pastor and spoke at our church many times. He was the first person to whom I spoke of the alcoholism in our family. I will never forget that he told me not to give up in prayer and then preached words that I have never forgotten, and I am certain you know.
    “You will change when you are seized by the power of the greatest Affection.” Grateful that He has showered you with His love, rejoicing/sharing in the victory of overcoming our own self-nature by the power of His blood.

    Thank you for your vulnerability AND willingness to share. I loved, forgave and learned much from my dad. He will so redeem all the lost years, and use this ABUNDANTLY to bless your family and bring much glory to Himself.

    Beth- How I wish I could be with you and the siestas…. love to you!


  21. 1121
    Lana says:

    My husband just celebrated his 17th year of constant sobriety on January 15ht of this year…it is is from God and it has changed our lives…for us it took 15 years of that 17 yrs until he committed his life to to the Lord as his personal saviour…and MAN! i thought life was good before with him just being sober…but GOD MADE IT REAL! CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR 1000 DAYS!!!! I LOVE YOU TOO FOR DOING IT!!!!

  22. 1122
    Pamela McDonald says:

    Dear Gay,
    Thank you for sharing your story with us. Through tears of joy I am praising God for bringing you out of the depths of despair. I appreciate your boldness of not sugar coating what you have been through. After all, how else could we praise Him for where you are now?!

    There are several members of my family who are prone to addictions of one kind or another. I have a daughter who has been clean from meth for over a year now! Praise God!! There were so many times when I was afraid to answer the phone in fear she had overdosed. Only the mother of an addict can relate to that feeling.

    I am so very thankful we serve such an awesome God.

    Looking forward to the next installment of your story.


  23. 1123
    Kathy says:

    Gay, I have not read the other comments yet, however I can imagine the impact your willingness to share and to minister will have on each Siesta.

    Your story happens to be posted the very week I am attempting yet again to deal with my “addictions” formed early in life due to deep wounds. I am most GRATEFUL and APPRECIATIVE to have the opportunity to hear your story of healing and redemption. Thank you dear Sister (Siesta) in Christ. Lots of love and blessings

  24. 1124
    Lisa D. says:

    Welcome Gay! I am honored to “meet” you here in Siesta-ville. 🙂 Your post has blessed me more than I can say.

  25. 1125
    Terri Jones says:

    My sweet friend,

    I am so touched by your blog…you are an inspiration. As I am writing this there are tears in my eyes because I know how difficult this was for you to share. I admire your authenticity and honesty. You have an amazing testimony and I know there are many out there who will read your blog and it will give them the strength to change their lives for the better. Thank you for sharing your life and the love of Jesus with us. I know He is doing amazing things with you and through you.

    Love you girl,

  26. 1126
    Hailey Gali says:

    Hi, Gay! This is one of the most precious stories I have ever read. I am honored to have the priviledge of knowing your testimony. Thank you so much ~ for your love for Jesus and sharing it with the world. I praise God for rescuing you ~ for saving all of us from destruction when we call on His Name. With Him ALL things are possible 🙂 Your sobriety is a work of His hands and I am reminded tonight, as He always wants us to remember, that He alone is GOOD. He is the Giver of Life, and I encourage you as my Sister to keep your eyes fixed on Jesus, as you are surrounded by an even greater cloud of witnesses now! Cheering you on to keep the faith. And to run, focused on the Prize ~ our King. Remember: You are a new creation in Christ. You are fearfully and wonderfully made by Him. Spurring you on from Miami! Your siesta, hailey

  27. 1127
    becky groff says:

    am praising the Lord for you. My son who is – was a drug addict or (is) but he has been clean for almost 10 months. he lost everything, job, car, home, if it were not for his dad and i he would be on the street.Only God can can made Him whole.

  28. 1128
    Anne says:

    Thank you Gay and Beth. Your sharing may save my life, too soon to tell. In HIS name…

  29. 1129
    donna says:

    WOW! Thank you! Your testimony is an encouragement for me to continue praying for family members who struggle with addictiion

  30. 1130
    Frances Davis says:

    Dear Gay, thank you so much for sharing your inspirational story. I pray God keeps you on this positive track.

  31. 1131
    Angela Cooke says:

    Gay, I am so thrilled for you! What a blessing to share what God has done for you. I cannot wait to read your testimony!

  32. 1132
    Vickie says:

    So proud and glad to meet you Gay! God Bless you for you forth rightness, openness and honesty. Yay! to our great deliverer God Himself!!!!!!

  33. 1133
    Karen says:

    We all need recovery… of some kind. Thank you for sharing and may you feel God’s very presence as you walk one day at a time. I celebrate recovery… mine and yours =)
    You go girl !!!

  34. 1134
    Susie Miller says:

    Gay, thanks for your openness and honesty. Just like your sister Beth, by being real, you give others permission to open up and be real too – and that’s where ministry and healing can happen. May God bless and use your willing heart. Big hugs!!!

  35. 1135
    Michelle says:

    Whoot! Whoot! Way to be obedient in sharing, may your story point to Chirst and inspire others to look that way too.

  36. 1136
    Susie says:

    Thank you, Gay, for sharing the hard time of your life AND the solutions through Jesus. He, and all of us reading this, are proud of you!

  37. 1137
    Denise wilkin says:

    Dear siesta sister,
    Thank you for the courage to share, I say Amen and Amen for the awesome, amazing, HUGE God we serve who loves us. Ephesians 1:18.
    Will look for you to share again,

  38. 1138
    Renee Bloom says:

    “We are who we are by the grace of God” hallelujah!! It is so amazing to me, (indescribable) to think of how much our God loves us! That we could actually, each one of us, offer a part of His image that the world so desperately needs to see. THANK-YOU for letting ‘your light so shine before us that we are glorifying “Our” Father in Heaven’.

    Hugs, blessing and love from another sister in New Jersey.

  39. 1139

    Gay, thank you for the honor of allowing us siestas to get a glimpse of your miracle story. It is beautifully raw and poignant. There is certainly more than one writer in your family!! I am a broken, wounded warrior princess redeemed by Jesus Christ. My vice wasn’t alcohol but a host of other addictions like pride, perfectionism, ambition etc.etc. that nearly kept me from experiencing true freedom in Christ. Bless you! May God give you increased influence and empower you beyond your wildest imaginations. Ephesians 3:20.

  40. 1140
    Terre says:

    Any sister of Beth’s is a sister of ours…welcome. I cannot wait to hear your story of your deliverance. You are in a safe place here, Gay. We want to listen.

  41. 1141
    Shelly says:

    Dearest Gay, what a privilege it is to meet you! Thank you for considering us worthy to share your heart with. I look forward to hearing the rest of your story. And I see good writing runs in your family. 😉

  42. 1142
    Candifer says:

    Thank you for sharing, Gay. And thank you, Jesus, for what You have done and are continuing to do in Gay’s life.

  43. 1143
    Angela says:

    Welcome and blessings to you Gay! I prayed for you from the moment I saw you were blogging. We love you and Mama Beth. God has surely blessed your family to be a blessing to others. I am looking forward to your posts.

    Mansfield TX

  44. 1144
    K. Meyer says:

    OH, thank you, Beth!!! for making the decision to share your precious sister with all of us!! I am walking through a valley right now and I needed to hear what she has to say. Please keep them coming.

    Love and prayers to you both, Karen

  45. 1145
    Michele Hendrix says:

    I just want to run up to you and hug your neck. I am in tears. . . a child of an alcoholic father. I can only remember him being sober for 2 years of my whole life. He loves me and my sister the best he knows how. Oh the painful memories . . . but how much bigger the “oh” of the redeeming grace of God. I love you already!!! Thank you for being so.very.brave.

  46. 1146

    I kept hoping we’d hear from you from the first time Beth ever mentioned you. Had a feeling in some ways I would relate to you even more so than Beth, mostly because, I, too, am an alcoholic. I have to admit, I still hate the term and don’t really say it often, only when it’s appropriate and necessary (mostly to keep me out of trouble. You might not have a clue what I mean by that, but you probably do. There’s at least one time I can think of where I found myself in a situation and if someone there didn’t know I’m an alcoholic, I most definitely would’ve blown it off and said, “Aw, what the heck. One won’t hurt.” Yikes! Yes, it will!) I’ve had many relapses over the years, and shamefully only have 17 months, or well, seventeen months this Friday, when I will be at SSMTC!!! Yes!!!! Never thought that would happen. I’ve wanted to be free of it for a long time and found few people around here who were very supportive. I actually was very good at hiding it and my church had no clue. From the moment I admitted to being an alcoholic, I was pretty much shunned at church. That was pretty hard. Started going to a new church where I went to Celebrate Recovery also, and that was good for awhile until they started a counseling program where they became very legalistic and you can imagine how well that has worked for me! I just started at a new church, that a friend farther north of me told me about a long time ago and has been encouraging me to go to for a long time. I finally went two weeks ago and fromt the very first day I was loved and I am hoping that will continue as I slowly (oh, so very slowly) reveal myself to people there. The legalism at the previous church is making me a little leary of letting anyone in. I stil have a lot of issues, not the least of which, are chronic depression and PTSD. I’ve also very much self-medicated with alcohol, also starting at 17. I first drank to have friends (long story. I had no friends. Not one) but as soon as I had my first drink I discovered it’s numbing affects and vowed to never stop, cause it numbed my very real pain. Anyone, hope I didn’t share too much. Looking forward to hearing more from you, Gay 🙂

    • 1146.1
      Pat W says:

      this is to shellie, and to gay, and beth as well.

      shellie, no need to be ashamed, of 17 months. I had 11 years but relapsed over the course of 3 more years, and when I got my 18 month keytag- I KNEW it was mine and it was real, so you hang in there, and send me note in a month and I have a keytag with your name on it.

      beth, thank you for trusting your sister to us. I was in richmond when you told us of your sister with 18 months and I’ve been waiting for you to let us know her ever since.

      gay, thanks again for sharing, and please know that I love ya even without knowing ya, just a couple things to note: I would encourage you to study tradition 11 in aa’s 12&12 book itself, with your sponsor, i say this not to harm you but for your protection because OUR anonymity IS such a fragile thing, and this cyber world is such a limitless abyss, so tread carefull even if Right Now you want to tell the world, I understand, I do, but.. “People who symbolize causes and ideas fill a deep human need. we of aa do not question that. but we do have to soberly face the fact that being in the public eye is hazardous, especially for us.” 12&12,p.181. I hope you understand, I am not a wolf, and that each of us are lambs, and yes, Jesus is my shepherd too, and jesus does love us both very much.

  47. 1147
    Tracey Knight says:

    dear gay, i have always wondered about you. re-living is hard sometimes so i’m praying you will be overwhelmed anew at God’s pursuit of your sweet self. i can hardly wait to hear the rest of the story. because it’s His story.
    you’re much loved here~ tracey
    p.s. unless i’m confused, we met BRIEFLY at the lpl in little rock ~ i was the messenger for mary king. i hope you’ll be there this weekend for the SSMT!

  48. 1148
    shelilah says:

    It’s nice to meet you Kate and thanks for being so forthcoming. Looking forward to hearing more of your testimony.

    • 1148.1
      shelilah says:

      Sorry, Gay, I don’t know where I got “Kate”. Oh, I see, it was from your comment, “Then it’s Katie bar the door.”. Guess that must be expression y’all use down there. 🙂

  49. 1149
    Deborah Rainey says:

    To God be the glory! I am constantly amazed by Him and what He does and can do if we only will receive and believe.

    Gay, you are brave and because of that bravery, Our Lord will use you in a mighty way — I have 3 younger sisters that I adore and would lay my life down for. We, too, endured some pain in our young lives, but for the Grace of Our Sweet Jesus, we have become 4 very God-fearing, God-Loving women.

    Thank you, Gay! I have added you to my daily prayer list and will look forward to what God has ordained you to share with us in the weeks ahead.

    Love you, Sweet Sister in Christ!

  50. 1150

    Praising God with you and for you, Gay! Two years ago this week, I sat on Amanda’s couch, and she shared a little bit of your story with me. She was so, so thrilled that her dear Aunt Gay had found hope and healing. What a joy and a privilege to hear your story from your own mouth. Can’t wait for more!

    And goodness, girl, you can WRITE. Love your way with words and can’t even imagine all God has in store for you and your story!!

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