Hey, Darling Things! I am sitting at a Cafe Express in Houston on yet another gorgeous Spring day while Melissa (home for Spring Break) is meeting with a Wordpress moderator so she (and we) can develop some proficiency on this format. It’s more complicated behind the scenes than you might think. She wanted me to be part of the tutoring session but I told her that I needed to do this post. Then she suggested that I come along but sit at a different table while we do two different things. I tried planting myself only three tables over but I’m interminably nosey (does it go with size of nose??) and kept listening to what they were saying. I prefer to do that with total strangers, especially couples that appear to be on first dates, but not many people are at Cafe Express this morning for breakfast and no one appears to be dating. Does anyone really date anymore anyway? A subject for another day.
I am happy to be here just the same whether or not the people watching is paltry. The coffee choices are enough to keep me intrigued. You don’t just get coffee here. You get choices like these in big huge cannisters:
“Equatorial Coffee” – “hints of buttery toast (who knew? no need to even eat breakfast with it??), cocoa nib (i love me some cocoa nib! i just didn’t know it! what is a nib exactly? like a little niblet?), almond, bold fruit, sweet (no one ever tells me I’m sweet. fun on occasion. never “you’re so sweet.” i don’t know why.), bright and clean.”
And
“Costa Rican Coffee” – “balanced (that’s me), clean (in Christ), classic (wannabe), winey (only when I don’t get my way. a lot of southern baptists don’t believe in being other kinds of whiny)with berry notes (berry notes? as in music notes? or as in sticknotes?), rich in body (is there no way we can get away from this?).”
So, as you can see, I’m dealing with a few distractions. And have had a bit too much Costa Rican. I think I’m allergic to berry notes. Melissa and I had an awkward moment when we pulled up in the parking lot and started stacking up our stuff to come into the restaurant. I have a paperback copy of SLI that I use to prepare our weekly discussions. All the sudden I flashed it at her and said, “I can’t take this in there.” How lame would that be? She said, “Tear off the cover.” So I did. Ripped that thing right off.
It’s time for us to finish up! I am so grateful for your partnership through this journey. You were such a big part of the inspiration to write it (not because you’re insecure or anything… but because I knew I’d have a little company if I went public). When it came out, reading it together seemed only fitting. Thank you for your willingness to enter in. As for the rest of you, I can only imagine that you will be relieved to have this hog off the blog and I equally thank you for your patience.
Let me say quickly before we get to the final set of instructions, I loved reading about your life passions last week! One of my favorite sets of comments from this journey! (And, separate from SLI, your testimonies of receiving Christ impacted my whole Easter weekend. Superb. I felt that God delighted in it and that, Sweet Thing, is my favorite feeling.)
This week’s assignment? Finish this baby up! Please read Chapters 17 and 18 and answer the following questions:
1. Based on Chapter 17, on a scale of 1 to 10 (one-almost none, ten-over the top), how big a part has fear played in your life? After responding with your approximation, please share what, if anything, in the chapter resonated with you.
2. Reflect over the journey as a whole. What (again, if anything) lasting and of God will you take away from it?
Thank you, thank you, thank you, Ladies. You are a great joy to me. May the God of peace sanctify us through and through – spirit, soul, and body – until we are wholly overtaken by Him. (1 Thess. 5:23) This alone will be the essence of wholeness.
I love you.
When I wrote my original post it was 3am and I had not been to bed yet and Saturdays are an especially long day for me. I still had the last 2 chapter to read and get my post up I looked at my post a little while ago hoping it was coherent and I realized I left Melissa out of my thank you. Oh Melissa I am so sorry I left you out. I know you are a secure enough young woman not to be offended but I still think it is just good manners to apologize for the faux pau. So, thank you too Melissa for your contributions to the blog. I can take an educated guess on how much work this is for all of you reading hundreds of comments everyday. I say kudos to the Moore women.
I also wanted to say that was a fine finish you wrote Beth. I especially liked and laughed hysterically over the car wash story. I have a great imagination and I could picture this happening. I even read it to my housemate she was in the room when I first read it this afternoon and as I laughed hysterically hearing you tell this story in my head I had to share it and we laughed together. I also had a feeling of great empathy for your poor sister-in-law God Bless her.
I also reread the section where you wrote about the post on the blog where you were sharing about a song you sing repeatedly when you are “in the middle of work havoc and a small heartbreak” you said it was the kind of song you sing to Him not about Him. I would like to share the words of a song I have been singing to Him through my journey. I’m sure some of the siestas are familiar with the song it has a beautiful melody I will put in parenthesis the words I changed to make it personal but the song itself could be sung by the women on this blog corporately. When I sing this to him I never get through it without tears.
He is here He is here
He is moving amongst us (he is moving inside me)
He is here He is here
As we gather in His name (as I praise His holy name)
He is here He is here
And he wants to work a wonder(and I ask you to work a wonder)
He is here
As we gather in His name (as I praise His holy name)
He has worked a wonder for me The woman that started this book is not the same women that finished it. I give Him all the Glory Honor and Praise for it. As it was no small work He has done. Hallelujah!!
I don’t know the song but I love the words. I made up my own melody. Thanks for sharing.
I read “So Long Insecurity” this week by the pool in my bathing suit. I’ve come a LONG way siestas!
I feel so far behind in this homework. I’m not even sure if anyone will read this!
1) Fear factor number? 9-10! I have been so fearful of everything! Even of feeling not-depressed! (Been depressed about 20 yrs.) When life started looking up, my own therapist couldn’t say how well she thought I was doing! I couldn’t handle it! Scared me to death! But God is working and healing this broken heart of mine, and now, not only am I past blocking compliments of any kind and being able to say “thankyou”, I’m praising God and giving Him the credit!! Only by His strength, mind you!
2) You know, I started this book thinking it wouldn’t really resonate with me at all. (I bought it BECAUSE Beth wrote it. Praise God, He had other ideas!) I think the biggest thing that hit me was the statement “Trust God. Period.” What??? You mean, “period” as in not even giving my suggestions?? Let go?? Let Him?? Wow. Really. Wow!
I was at a women’s conference northeast of Philly yesterday, called “Come and Be Filled.” Oh my. My heart is soooo filled!!! The time of worship and intercession, then communion at the end of the day was the most awesome thing I’ve ever experienced!! A bit overwhelmed, I kept telling myself how amazing God is in His timing! Even 6 mos ago, I probably wouldn’t have been open to such an experience. But I’m oh so glad I was there!
One more thing…. Beth? When are you coming to Philadelphia??!!!!
Kristi/Philadelphia/40’s/married
Hey Kristi, I’m farther behind than you are but praise God we finished! One of my favorite parts of the book was the Trust God part! I have to learn to trust him with everything!!
Chapter 17 was the one that really hit me between the eyes. Ever since my dad passed away this past September, even though I know better I’ve been living in real fear that something will happen to my mom or the rest of my beloved family. I even talked about my fear for the first time with a friend at work a few days before I read the chapter. Thank you for the admonition to – TRUST GOD. That’s all. It reminded me of “Believing God” in that the bottom line is that I have to trust Who He says He is and that He is in control. It’s hard when you have grief brain as I do. I’m trying…….
1. I would say I’m an 8 when it comes to fear in my life.
2. Through this journey, I will take and use every day to acknowledge my insecurities when they show up and make the choice to not let it take over my life. Since reading this book, I have felt some changes in my life- like regaining confidence. I can’t tell you how in the dumps I’ve been feeling about this baby weight that is still on me even though I haven’t been working super hard on getting rid of it. After reading this book, I have felt a peace about it and confident in who I am at this moment so that I can face this challenge head on. I’m only going to overcome it if Jesus is right beside me.
Chapter 17 was the one that really hit me between the eyes. Ever since my dad passed away this past September, even though I know better I’ve been living in real fear that something will happen to my mom or the rest of my beloved family. I even talked about my fear for the first time with a friend at work a few days before I read the chapter. Thank you for the admonition to – TRUST GOD. That’s all. It reminded me of “Believing God” in that the bottom line is that I have to trust Who He says He is and that He is in control. It’s hard when you have grief brain as I do. I’m trying…….
Chapter 17 was the best chapter!! Fear is probably my “best” way to manifest insecurity. The call to trust God instead of moaning about not being able to trust a person or upcoming event — yeah — that’s what God asks of me. Thank you, Beth, for writing this book and bringing so many together in discussion and prayer for each other!
After many many years of people poking fun at the fact that I live with so much fear, my sister bought me this book for my birthday. I was a little hesitant at first because I assumed that I was indeed living with fear and not insecurities…man was I wrong! I have been able to pinpoint all my fears now and link them to insecurities. And this book has changed something in me that will never be the same. I finished the book about a week ago, and when I was done sit and cried because I knew that I had a chance to reclaim my life and live without my fears and insecurities for the first time in my life. I know that I am clothed with strength and dignity!! And I have to say that this isnt the only book by Beth that has changed my life. I was an addict for about 10years and thought my only way out was death, and then I read the book breaking free! And let me tell you something, I broke free!! I have been clean for almost 5 years. After becomming free from drugs I never dealt with any of the “junk” that my addiction left. Kinda like scars on the inside so it was like I wasnt completely free. Every single day was terrifying for me and sometimes crippling. And was amazed that as I prayed and read the book God showed me insecurites that I had and didnt even know it…and now I am happy to be working on them and do whatever it takes to live a secure life that God intended me to live!! I have a 4 yr old little girl and I know now that I was beggining to pass some of my insecurities down to her. What a scarey and heartbreaking thought.
Very excited to see Beth via satilite this saturday! Going to be awesome. Somehow and for some reason God has known exactly when I was in my biggest need and put these books in my path to help me! Isnt he awesome!!!!!
1) I would have to say a 10
My eyes have been opened in many ways to this knee jerk response in many areas in my life! One of the biggest eye openers has been the huge amount of energy fear consumes, esp. in relationships. I too mostly trusted God to do what I told Him! It’s through a recent family crisis that God has also highlighted this heart issue. God has been faithful to my heart during this time of suffering. He is faithful to the end. What a useless player fear has been, for His grace has been perfectly sufficient!
2)This journey has been HUGE for me, in this season of my life. Beth, I so wish I could tell you face to face, how grateful to the Father I am for your honest account of your life struggles, and the testimony of His faithfulness through it all. I have loved this journey, and am rather melancholy that we are finished…. Now, may the God of Mercy and Grace FILL you, continue to STUN you with His lavish Love, as you walk out the good works He has prepared for you! I love you my sister!
Pam
53
Rochester, MN
1) on a scale of 1 to 10…..I would say fear has been about a 9 factor in my life! It was good to be reminded that fear does consume massive amounts of energy and focus. Maybe we can’t stop fear from entering into our lives….but as soon as it comes we can trade fear for trust!!
2) Thank you for including the repair prayer and maintenance prayer in your book. Most of all what I am taking away from this journey is a renewed sense of the fact that “I am precious to God”….”I am lovely”….and “meant to be a miracle”….”AN ORIGINAL”…”created to be exceptional”!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! WOW!!!!!!!!!!! I will bAsk in the warmth of my Father’s love!!!!!!!!!
Karen
51
married
TN
Lonna
40’s
Married
Albany, OR
Well, I’m finally ready to post my final responses. Took me awhile, but here I is.
On a scale of 1 to 10; how big a part has fear played in my life?
Oh, about a 12, and that’s being conservative. I have been fearful since childhood, and am so happy to be given some tools to disarm the enemy. (Oh, I know the scriptures, but haven’t trusted that they are for me too! I only thought I was worthy of all the “God hates Divorce” ones and the “unpardonable sin” ones… oh wretched woman am I). What’s kind of funny in a sick way is that I seem to have viewed fear as an insurance policy of sorts. If I fear it and keep it at the forefront of my thoughts, it won’t happen, or at least I won’t be surprised when it does. That sure enough is some pretty crazy thinking, and it sure has wasted a lot of time. But I’m so glad to not only be shown the error of my thinking but to know I’m not alone in it and to be given some other stuff to think about, mostly God.
As I read through this chapter, 3 things resonated with me.
1. On page 324. The paragraph that talks about the enemy. “Once he pinpoints our emotional Achilles’ heel, he draws back the bow and aims the poisonous dart straight at it. He figures out what we’re most afraid of, and then he taunts us unmercifully with expert marksmanship”. I don’t like that I’ve been running around for 46 years looking like a giant ad for Target; a big red target right smack in the middle of my forehead. Thanks for pointing that out Beth because now, armed with that knowledge and the Word/sword of God I will cease to be a target. At least not in fear. God will deal with other things as they come along I’m sure but disarming that one disarms just about everything. I’m so excited about this. (I thought of Droopy when I wrote that, remember him? “I’m so happy” as he never changed that sad droopy expression).
2. Fear is a colossal waste of time. (page 323) This one hurt. I’ll bet I’ve wasted years worrying and being fearful of things that didn’t come to pass, or that did but turned out to be nothing significant. I have imagined horrors beyond horrors; deaths or my kids or husband, torturing’s of myself or my kids (this one only applies if we’re here during tribulation, which I’m still not sure about), losing limbs, going completely deaf, going blind (choosing which will be worse), becoming physically paralyzed, husband will leave me for a young blond with implants, gaining 300 pounds, going insane during menopause (one hears stories you know). You name it, I’ve imagined it and lived in fear of it. I call it my WCS thinking. (worst case scenario). But I haven’t thought it completely through to the other side and how God will take care of me. Of how He will provide the correct amount of grace and strength for each step I take and each decision I make should one of these fears come to pass. I have seen Him do this for me time after time and one would think I would have learned a little something about my beloved Savior by now. And I have, but I have since reading this book, learned a whole lot more about my beloved Savior.
3. The 3rd thing that really stood out to me begins on page 323; “I used to think that the essence of trusting God was trusting that He wouldn’t allow my fears to become realities. Without realizing it, I mostly trusted God to do what I told Him. If He didn’t, I was thrown for a total loop.” I will no longer trust God to do what I want (or don’t want) Him to do, I will trust God. Period. I love this!!!!!! Yay!!!!!!!!!
I hear Aretha Franklin’s song in my head “Freedom! Freedom! Oh Freedom!!!” Yes Lord, indeed this is Freedom.
The second question asks me to reflect over the journey as a whole, what lasting and of God will I take away from it? Everything I read and learned was totally in line with the Word of God and everything was lasting. I was able to start applying it immediately to my life. Just this past week I had an incident that a couple months ago would have had me firing off a retaliatory email that would have lit the internet on fire on it’s way to the recipient. But because of God’s mercy and what I’ve learned, I began to write a response, but won’t send it. I’ve examined why I reacted the way I did and asked God for insight to the heart of the person who sent it and knew He wanted me to tread lightly and go slow because it was a wounded, hurting heart that sent it. Not that I need to do anything for this person, but just know it wouldn’t be fair to just fire back. My security is in Christ and nothing can take that from me, this person cannot have my security, and I am clothed with strength and dignity. I don’t think the person I am talking about can say the same thing so I need to rest in my security and trust God to handle it all. I mean to trust God. Period.
Beth, thank you. Whether we meet here on earth or sit down for a cup of Heavenly Blend at the Starbucks in heaven, we will talk someday. I will say 2 things to you, sorry I didn’t know who you were before I picked up this book, and the second, THANK YOU A MILLION TIMES OVER for being willing to walk around with an open heart and willing to say honestly and exactly what God wanted you to. You go girl!
(P.S. sorry I have to miss the SLI simulcast event on the 24th, I’m cooking all day for my daughter’s school auction, I sure hope I can see it sometime though).
Dearest Beth,
I would answer your first question for the conclusion of our study as I have been a 10 on the fear scale for most of my life. I too was robbed of my innocence as a baby and subsequently lived most of my life on adreneline (which has had a large part to due with my body’s early breakdowns). But the awesome privilege of knowing this is just another step in the restoration process of life and that I could share it with you and all the other Siestas at this time has been profound. I am learning to walk in the assurance that “no one can have my security, it is mine from God and nothing will ever change that”. I was and am purposed for this day, in this time of history, in the location for God’s glory. Thank you, Jesus for making me your chosen “one” after Your own heart.
Thank you, Beth for your faithfulness to Him and to us. I look forward to spending eternity with you before Our GREAT AND MIGHTY KING’S THRONE!
Denise
50’s
Married
Albuquerque
Barbara
30’s
married
New Orleans, LA
My fear is rated at 10+infinity. Fear has controlled my life for so long. I have been in a FOG (FEAR, OBLIGATION, GUILT). I was always the wimp. I would never stand up for myself. I avoid conflict like the plague.
This book has showed me that I am heading in the right direction. He is healing me from low self-esteem and self-worth. He’s given me courage to address situations that I have long ignored. He’s rooting out every spirit that is not like him. He trusts me in the circumstance that I’m facing, I need to trust Him that the situation is already worked out in my favor. I need to trust God period. No If then that.
Thank you for this book. I want to give it to my neice and I pray she reads it. Pray God softens her heart to recieve him.
1. It’s probably an 8. At times it paralized me, and at times I was able to trust God and not get into the destructive pattern of thinking “If this happened, what would I do?”
2. This has been quite the journey through this book. I loved the the prayer in the middle of the book. It was so freeing and seemed to me that after that chapter (I believe it was chapter 9), my soul was not weary and I was able to enjoy the rest of the book. I’m sure I’ll read it again, after my daughters have read it. I pray with all my heart that security is here to stay. I am who God says I am! (Just finished the Believing God study!)
Thank you, dear Beth, for your hard work on this book! Thank you for following God’s leading and helping us tackle this issue once and for all.
I’m grateful to Jesus for you!
Meggie from Winnipeg, Canada
1.) If I am honest with myself, I know that fear has played a big part in my life. So, I would say 7 on the scale. Fear has kept me from doing things that I knew that I should have done and caused me to do things that I knew I should not have done.
2.) “She is clothed with strength and dignity; she can laugh at the days to come.” Whenever I feel insecure, I repeat this verse. Also, learning to drop the conditions off my trust and determine that God will take care of me no matter what.
Thank you again for writing this book and doing this discussion. I am looking forward to the simulcast this weekend. I will be on-site in Atlanta, but in the overflow seating. 🙂
Kristin
AL
30’s
Married
Before reading the book I would have said that I didn’t suffer from fear at all. Now I realize that’s what the insecurity really is wrapped up in and I feel like just knowing that is helping to get me over it.
The prayers in the book are awesome, both the long and the short and pretty much sum up all we need. Trust , trust and more trust. And that is what I took away from the book. Thank-you so much and I can’t wait for the simulcast on Saturday. I’ll be watching from Charleston, SC!!
fear rating –between 7-9 depending on circumstances
One of the things that resonated most with me is found on p. 333, to ask myself “What will God do if . . .” not the usual, ‘What am I going to do if . . .’. That phrase changes everything! The other thing I need to do is to “…learn to check your heart for what you’re afraid of.” p. 320 . Putting two these together with the Proverbs 31:25 passage is key.
I think I am still on ‘the journey’. So far though, I have a clearer picture of the alternative I have through God and His Word to my insecurities and warped way I used to see myself. I think I am getting closer and closer to head knowledge becoming heart knowledge and applied in day to day living.
Keepin’ on, steppin’ forward, one day at a time with our LORD.
Thank you Beth
Karen
47
married
small town, Saskatchewan
I would say that of the scale of 1 to 10 that I would be about a 7, but there are times when I am at a 10.
The part of Chapter 17 that resonated with me was the What will I do if…? Fearing what will happen today, tonight, tomorrow, next week…. To stop and hear God whisper Child you are asking the wrong question. I should be asking What will God do if…? I have this written and up on the wall of my cubie at work – Not what will I do if…But what will God do if…?
I will take away from this journey that I am clothed with strength and dignity. My security is mine to keep, God gave it to me. You can not have it. I have let fear rob me of an abundant life for too long.
I found it interesting to read how you (Beth) were tested while writing this book. When I decided to read this book and participate through the blog some things happened in my life that I almost didn’t continue. At times I was behind because my attention was elsewhere. My postings were at times weeks late, but with God’s help I finished the book. I am glad I finished the journey and look forward to the simulcast this weekend.
Emily
Virginia
Single
1. 8 for fear in my life overall…the Lord has worked in my 30 years walking with Him, (17 of those years in marriage to a Godly pastor man, and blessed with 6 children), to bring that fear factor down lower and lower. It seems with each “scare” or trial, He askes me the question again, “DO you trust Me?” And I actually have thought through some scenarios to the other side and can say, “Yes, I trust my Father.” My Jesus is before all things and in Him all things hold together! Oh, I am not saying that I don’t still struggle with fear/insecurity at times. I am just saying that I can relate to what you said in the book. You were dead on in your exhortation, dear Beth. Dead on!
I serve a God who can absolutely positively be trusted!! As He continues to conform me to Himself, the security increases and the fear decreases.
2. Wow, Beth, I believe you pulled two powerful key verses together with respect to smiling at the future and laughing at the days to come in Prov 31:25 and Ps. 112:7-8.
I am greatly encouraged in this season of life, to renew my mind again in the TRUTH of God’s Word concerning these verses! Thank you for this study!
It has been a great blessing.
I have to say I finished late after keeping up through most of it. I actually finished the last 2 chapters laying in my closet after the children were in bed and hubby was running out to store for us! He came home to find my legs sticking out of our closet…made sure I was okay!! I would so love to be at the simulcast this weekend, but circumstances won’t allow. Praying it goes well and that CJ comes home to find a quick full recovery. May God bless your family!
Lori
Rock Hill,SC
38-married
So Long Insecurity! Bye-Bye! I started my journey in Christ just 5 months ago. With the help of a Baptist Deacon who worked with me at the time. Go figure! He recognized the need for God to work in his and my life. He is amazing because he shows me and points me always to God and His Word. What a ride I have been on. I just finished this beautiful, empowering, So Long Insecurity book and am ready for the simulcast in two days!!! I also finished Living Beyond Yourself. So much teaching, so much learning. So much rejection and perceived rejection forgiven. Daily forgiveness is the most beautiful thing I have ever experienced. To be set free everyday and then work so hard to be in Him each day and knowing you can’t without Him. So cool. I was asked about a year ago “Who am I?” I couldn’t answer the question. I kept searching and trying to find the “perfect” answer. I know for certain (yes, because I asked God) that it is not Who I am, it is Who’s I am. I am His and I know it for certain. I have learned so much and am so thankful and greatful for who He is. So much more to learn but I am willing to be taught, now. ALL my strength is in Him and I will be reminded of that every moment, I know. Thank you, thank you, thank you Beth, and everyone else for sharing and your willingness to know that it is All in His Plan. So much more I could say as I am overflowing with emotion. We are truly in this together. I love to know I am clothed in strength and dignity. Hot Diggity Dog! Ha!
On a scale of one to ten, I would have to say seven. I am most fearful of not being in God’s will. I know it’s a lie, but I’m often afraid I have misread Him and gone the wrong direction and now I’m on my own. I am fearful of my own thoughts. I am afraid He can’t use me or won’t use me. I want to be His, but I so often feel I’m walking around with scales over my eyes and that I just can’t clearly see Him or what He wants of me. I am fearful of rejection, of being embarassed, of looking stupid, of being replaced…
The part of the chapter that resonated with me most is that I must stop putting conditions on my trust. The sentence “when we set certain conditions for trust, we offer the enemy of our souls the perfect playground for toying with our minds” really struck me. I need to trust God no matter what. I need to trust that He has a perfect plan for me.
There is so much that I will take away from this journey that I can’t begin to list it all. I think the most important thing though is to TRUST GOD.
Angie
married, 30s
South Dakota
I was so consumed with fear during my second pregnancy. I knew that I would die during child labor. It was terrible. I had everything prepared. I kept grappling with the thought of “is my God good?” I want to be here to raise my boys but is it His will? It was so disturbing that my doctor induced me so he could be the one with me and he had a nurse with me the entire time. I was her only patient. I am thankful for a Christian doctor. I went before my church about 3 weeks before I delivered and asked prayer for myself and my child. I felt God’s power around me at all times during those next few weeks. It was as I could feel the enemy looming over me but he couldn’t get to me. I still have the same thoughts at times. I don’t like being away from my children for any reason. But I have to remember that God in control and that He will never do anything that will not honor Him and further His kingdom.
I am a new pastor’s wife. I married a banker and now he’s a pastor. I want to be encouraging to other women in the church but also REAL and AUTHENTIC. Thank you for being REAL.
Married/30/Fayetteville, AR
1. Fear has not been huge in my life, but when I started examining my heart I discovered more than I had first realized. The words that resonated were, “Her heart is secure.”
2. The true reason that I participated is that if Beth Moore writes it; I read it. But in the process some insecurities that had been speaking lies into my heart were uncovered. And now I am speaking God’s truth to my heart.
Thank you,
Terri, 50s, married
Grand Rapids, MI
So, just now getting to comment, but for what it’s worth, here you go…
1.) A solid 8…I have fear issues for sure, but they don’t ALWAYS consume me. What I LOVED about this chapter was the quote on 332, “Fear of the future makes people settle for things in the present that completely defy abundant life.” Wow. This is me and I’m so tired of living here. I want so desperately to feel like I’m actually living in the abundant life everyday instead of in moments here and there.
Another thing that I’m still wrestling with and would love some feedback on (if anyone is even still reading from this post). I totally understand the concept in my head that I need to trust God no matter what–even if my worst nightmare came true. However, where I am stuck is that even though I know that, I find myself scared to say/pray that to God because I feel like if I do then He’ll purposely allow that nightmare thing to happen to test me on whether or not I really do trust Him. When I think about this after reading this chapter, I’m left wondering if I do actually trust God to be who He says He is, but yet don’t trust that He will trust me??? I have this fear (grounded in some past situations) that whatever I love and enjoy in life is going to be taken away if it is somehow replacing the love I should be seeking from God. (The jealous God view) So, I live in fear of loving or enjoying anything too much because I don’t want it taken away. I also feel like my relationship with God teeders between true friendship and doing my Bible reading and other good “Christian” things in order to show God I’m still putting Him first so that He doesn’t see the need to take away the other things I love and enjoy in this life. It’s a fear that is choking me for sure and certainly making me NOT live the abundant life. I’m just not sure what to do with any of that to come out victorious. Any help out there???
2) Wow. The journey as a whole??? Seriously??? Wow. God has me on a journey that I truly feel He has said will take the better part of 2010 (and beyond) to get through. He has used this book (and you, Beth) to reaffirm my desire to get out of the insecure places I find myself. I have picked up many tangible hands-on ways to combat this fight and have found questions (like the one above) that I need to grapple with still. It is emotional, raw, lovely, and freeing. I have found God in the pages of this book and will be continually looking ahead towards freedom from these stupid, robbing insecurities.
Oh yeah, sorry, forgot to put on my last post (mommathieszen)….
Angie
Goshen, IN
Married
30’s
I would have to say that I was a 8 or higher. I was not able to pick out all my insecurities until I read this book. I have allowed God to come into my life and show me everything. I have been having a rough time the last several years with my husband and myself and now that I have read this book I have seen that through all my insecurities I have been causing so much trouble on both of us for what fear. Well no more I am better than that. I deserve better. I want to be who God wants me to be. I now have the security to do things I never would have done. I would like to do a book study with the ladies at my church with this book.
2. I saw this book online and thought it would be great. I love Beth’s work. I am telling everyone I know about this book and how God is working in my life. I loaned my book to a friend and felt lost without it so I went and bought a second one for just me to keep. THANK YOU A MILLION TIMES OVER BETH.
Corrine
30’s Alaska
Married
Crystal~Way Up North, WI~46~Married
1) I’m going with a 7 for an average. Asking myself ‘what am I afraid of?’ when I am feeling insecure really resonated with me. Since reading the chapter I am trying it…it works! Not always with a direct answer, but definitely with a sense that God will give me the answer when I need it. I try to continue my thought process with ‘Lord, I don’t know what’s going on right now, but please let me recognize the answer when you give it’. I have also personally seen God work many of my difficult and painful moments for good…it’s truly awesome! And, Beth, for the record: I, too, in my mind, have stood over many a casket of a loved one-right down to the tears I would cry and what I would wear!
2) I am clothed in strength and dignity; I can laugh at the days to come.–Trust God, Period.–God knew what he was doing when he formed me in my mother’s womb. I am not without purpose.–I am not perfect, but I am genuine.–Three steps forward and two steps back is still one step forward!
Looking forward to Saturday!
1) I am a very cautious person! Ha ha. I don’t do rides at the fair, heights are not my friend and I’m definitely not a daredevil! But honestly, I do have to say that my level of fear is probably a 7. (I’m definitely working on it with God!) I don’t think I have always been fearful but about 5 years ago, my fiancé was shot in front of me. Since then I have had a hard time not worrying about things. I still get the moments of fear wondering why I haven’t heard from someone or if I just get nervous in large groups but God is really helping me through it. So ALL of chapter 17 resonated within me. You summed it up so well when you said we can still experience our worst fears, but God has promised he will be there to help us through them and it’s so true. The only way I made it through that season is with God, I know I couldn’t do it on my own! The verses I mostly clung to were Jeremiah 29:11 and Phil 4:6-8 and I can honestly say that I have experienced God’s peace that surpasses all understanding!
2) This book has been such an eye opener! I am so thankful that you were “fired up” enough to write it. I know I desperately needed it to realize what my insecurities were and to quit being in denial. The main things I am taking from this journey are to know my triggers and be ready to fight back with scripture. To capture my thoughts to prevent myself inner turmoil. To trust God with EVERYTHING, not just the big things. One message that has come up a lot since I have started reading this book is that trusting God is a choice. So from now on, I choose to trust God!!
I’ve had so much fun on this journey. I have met a few friends and am looking forward to the bible study. I haven’t done one with the LPM blog yet!
Heather F/Beaumont, TX/29/Single
1 — #10 — I trust God to … not I TRUST GOD PERIOD!
2 — Where I started is what I will take with me and I don’t want to forget. I am climbing more with feet like hinds feet even though I still need God to lift to the rock higher than I. I have so far to go to overcome my insecurity but I have come so far too. With this study which I have loved and will miss and my professional counselor, I have learned so much about myself that I did not know was there. I know so much healing that still needs to come but God is still working on ME because HE LOVES ME!
Can’t wait for the simulcast! I feel so blessed to have read this book. It was one of those things, I wasn’t sure I needed but wanted to participate in a study on this blog. After reading it I’ve either bought it for friends (I had talked with them and knew they wanted it.) or recommended it and know friends have bought it. Now I can discuss it with them as they are reading it! Thank-you for a book that really spoke to me in many ways. The part that was about people close to you who rely on you to help heal them from addictions came on a day I really needed to hear it – never expected that! My husband and I are going through a difficult financial time right now and it’s helped to not fear the future and just know that through God’s grace working in our lives and our relationship, we can get through anything, that we just need to trust God. It also helped in seeking female frenships and gave me extra courage to join some groups that maybe I wouldn’t have in the past. I know good things are going to come out of that! Thanks again and look forward to the summer study!
Ok, our group just finished up tonight. I LOVED talking through the book with them.
On a scale of 1 to 10, I’d say my fear level is/has been an 8. What has impacted me most about Ch 17 is as I’m reading I’m thinking “really? everyone deals with fear like this?” I had very little idea. Another one of those points in your life when you see clearly that really everyone you know has some kind of stuff that they are dealing with. BUT, the most major thing I am dealing with now after our discussion is something that I always seem to run up against when I am at a point where I want to be able to Trust God completely (and not fear) is: If I am praying only that His Will be done, why should I ever pray for anything at all (for safety, for healing, etc)? If His will is for a tragedy to occur for whatever reason – is my prayer for safe travels going to change his mind?? I know this sounds so simple. I just have never been able to reconcile this thought.
Married/late 30s/North Carolina
Fear has played a big part in my life. On a scale it would rate 7. I really appreciate Proverbs 31:25, “She is clothed with strength and dignity; she can laugh at the days to come.” I have noted the verses found throughout chapter 17 and the way you broke it all down into bite size pieces so the fears can be catorgorized.
I will take away the ability to see my insecurities now and to look them squarely in the face. I now have dissecting tools to use on my fears. These tools will enable me to recognize where the fear is coming from and then I can pray and ask God to help me. The prayers are so helpful.
Beth, thank you for writing this book. I went from laughter to tears while reading the last chapter. I feel as if I am leaving my best friend because you are not going to be talking to me anymore about my insecurities. And our small group at church just finished the Esther study too. I’m suffering from Moore withdrawals. I’ll just have to begin another soon. Thank you and God bless you and yours.
1. fear has been pretty much an 11 (on a scale of 1 to 10). After denying it my whole life I have finally realized (seriously, just now) the point at which everything shook loose for me and became uncertain – my daddy was my hero as a little girl, but I came into the kitchen one day and found him on his knees, in tears(not manly tears, this was a broken man), begging my mother to forgive him. I have no idea what for, but from that moment I knew that anything could change at any moment. That fear of change and of the humiliation I witnessed has been a huge driving force in my life ever since. they stayed together, but my mother has treated him like a second class citizen ever since.
2. God loves ME. That is the biggest thing I have taken away from this. The God of the Universe, in whom there IS NO DARKNESS AT ALL (ie, he will not turn on me and leave me kneeling on a kitchen floor begging to be forgiven) will NEVER leave me or forsake me.
I can’t understand why I never realized what a huge impact that incident had on my life. It took two reading of your book and all these discussion questions to get me to wake up.
wow.
thank you Beth. for obeying God and writing this book.
Deirdre Russell
http://www.screamofcontinuousness.wordpress.com
Dear Beth,
I just finished the book today. I will post my answers later tonight, but I just had to say Thank you. I absolutly love thinking through the worst possible senario and finding God there with me on the other side. He is so good and so BIG. Thank you for sharing so much with us. Thank you for being faithful. I’m looking forward to tomorrow! I am more secure than I have ever been…come what may, I am clothed with strengh and dignity!
Hugs,
Michelle
I would say that fear has been a number 7 in my life. I am so much more free now! God used this book in my life, and I am so grateful!!! I appreciated the “what if” section, and God taking Beth all the way through “what if” your worst fear happens. It came to mind that “what if” I am single on earth my whole life…..and it was so very freeing to realize that I would get to continue to live life fully, and I’ve lived this long so another 40 years will be another 40 years of adventure with God. :)I’ve dealt with this issue through the years, and God used Beth in the last simulcast in a big way with it. God is up to something BIG if there is a dream that hasn’t come to pass yet. :)So exciting!!
From here, I will get to continue to claim the truth that “I am clothed with strength and dignity. I can laugh at the days ahead.” (especially when that insecurity begins to creep in!) 🙂 When fear begins to creep in, I get to take that to God, and TRUST HIM!!!!!
Beth, thanks for your encouragement, insight, and being willing to be vulnerable to share with all of us!!! I won’t be attending tomorrow, but hope a CD will be available afterwards.
It’s been a great journey with you all!
Pamela
P
OR
Single
Shellye
Queen City, TX
Married
41 years old
Chapter 17 and 18 reflections:
1. 10+ at least Fear has played a major part of my entire life! I’m just realizing in God’s perfect will and timing that He brought me through this chapter at just the time I needed it. I’ve had a horrible bought of insecurity this year more than ever in my life and that is saying a lot since I’ve battled depression my entire life.
I experienced just a few short weeks ago peace and joy in my marriage. We had one entire good week and haven’t had it for an entire week for years. Praise the Lord! Then in the counseling session just after that week of bliss, I praised God and we [my Christian darling 78 year old counselor and I] rejoiced for how our marriage was healing and how good it felt living with my husband and kids in harmony. But, as almost as quickly as I left there that day about 4 weeks ago now our marriage went to pot and I haven’t been able to climb out again. Just this past Tuesday afternoon during counseling my precious saint of God was trying so hard to get me to see what I did differently to experience the good times with my husband and few weeks ago but for the life of me I couldn’t get a grip on it, give it a name, or put my finger on it. I just kept saying my husband changed for that week. She isn’t our marriage counselor I sought her out and God placed her before me as a gift to help me through this season of life.
She charged me with a couple of things then she imparted peace to me. I didn’t feel too different but I knew to receive and believe and God has truly imparted her peace to me. I had an okay day on Wednesday but Thursday night the bottom fell out when of course my husband wasn’t home but out of town for college for the day and my son lost it again and was within the deepest darkest part of a pit I’ve seen since the worst pit when he was in fifth grade and he’s now a freshman. I finally laid into him and told him how I truly felt. I wanted him to hear even though he couldn’t feel the love of family and friends and he had support and a safety net that we wouldn’t let him fall without picking him back up. His pit took me into my pit because I don’t want to lose him. I want him with me here on earth. Teenagers have it so hard today and he’s had it so tough his entire life in his mind.
That evening I was only able to read ½ of chapter 17. I stopped at the bottom of page 327 with this statement: “But I knew that finally I’d go facedown before God just as I have a hundred other hard times, accept His grace and mercy, believe Him to take up my cause and work it together for good, and then I would get up and choose to live.” That hit me. It resonated with me. I guess I didn’t realize how much until I climbed into bed with my 15 year old praying silently that God would take my son out of the pit he had fallen so deeply and so quickly in that day. The Holy Spirit brought back to my mind the above mentioned statement from chapter 17. Then, He told me to let the past go, to release all the hurts and wounds of my husband’s choices of this past year, to pack it up and call it quits on this chapter of my life (not our marriage) because my son needed me. I didn’t realize how all of my withdrawing, isolation, and bondage I’ve been in this year has taken me away from my two precious gifts of God, my children both teenagers need me to be here. Really here. Ever present. Their dad, my husband, is in his 2nd year of his doctorial program and isn’t here – here in body but not other wise. I’ve not supported him and our marriage has gone through the worst spell ever due to this as well as other choices he’s made in our marriage. It’s time to put his bad choices and mine away and move on for my sake, my marriage’s sake, and my children’s sake. It was if God removed the scales from my eyes to show me my son doesn’t only need his dad’s attention which he can’t have his undivided attention for 3 more years until he graduates with his doctorate but mine. I used to climb in bed with him each night and pray over him even sing (and I’m not a singer) to him to ease his pain, worries, and help him feel more secure before drifting off to sleep. But since my reveal on Monday, July 20th of last year I haven’t been here for him either. Poor kid, he didn’t have either parent fully devoted to him. I was so hurt by his father’s choices and had to deal with my own baggage and bondage that I couldn’t fully be involved in our home nor our family either.
My counselor on Tuesday charged me with honoring my husband and changing my attitude in my home being mindful of how I exist while I’m in the home around my husband. It’s just now becoming clear to me [Saturday, April 10th at 9:24 AM] of how all must be released and cleansed through God. I’m packing all the past hurts of my marriage today literally and mentally. My husband is forgiven and now I’m going to start livin’ for my sake, his sake, and our kids’ sake. Thank you God!
Thank you, Beth for giving me tools to use. I love how you even called one of the prayers the “maintenance prayer” and the other the “repair prayer.” I’ll be typing these up to carry with me to use in my time of need. I am not going back. I will not fear. I will trust God. I am a secure woman! – Amen!
Yesterday God gave me this very verse in my Bible reading, Galations 4:9. “But now that you know God – or rather are known by God – how is it that you are turning back to those weak and miserable priniciples? Do you wish to be enslaved by them all over again?” No, absolutely not. I’m so glad God allowed me to be on this journey with you! Thank you isn’t enough. I will live a secure life in Christ for the rest of my life. Praise You, LORD for all You have worked together in my life over the past two days, months, and years to set me free and give me security.
And just to let you know. . . God answered my prayers about my son! After facing many of his fears and situations at school on Friday, he returned home in the best mood not in the pit any longer in that situation either. Praise the LORD! This allowed me to see God’s hand once again answering my prayers because I trusted Him and HIM alone. I know He is the only one that can do anything anyway!
2. Thank you isn’t enough for all you’ve allowed me to experience through SLI. You were the catalyst for a much needed house cleaning of my own. God is amazing. I knew I was insecure, but not to the depths I found. I will NEVER allow another person to take my security. It is mine that God has given me. I have wavered for a moment or two since completing this journey but God through the Holy Spirit revealed it to me immediately and I’d repeat you are NOT going to take my security.
I’ve realized fear is paralyzing. I know fear keeps me from so much God has for me. I will keep this book for reference for the rest of my life. At some point I am going to type the verses that stood out to me that God used with me during this process as well as the two prayers you included.
This book came to me during the hardest point of my life. I needed this book as part of the process to set my feet back on solid ground. I felt God instructing me to not look back through the first two thirds of the book because I tend to relive some of my pain again and again when at this point I must move on and continue looking up.
SLI is jammed packed with so much of the truth and it has lead me to be set free. Satan is continually attacking me and seems he won’t let go, BUT God has already won the war. The battle is finished. I am an overcomer and I refuse to live in darkness under the wings of insecurity…So Long Insecurity!
I’ll close with a prayer I journaled on Friday, April 9th at 11:17 PM:
Lord, Heavenly Father,
Thank you for this journey as torturous and difficult it has been. But in the midst of the worst storm of my life you were there to meet me and pull me through. You pulled out and got rid of so many evil spirits within me that I’ll never have within me again [the spirit of abandonment, the spirit of fear, the spirit of judging, condemning, criticizing].
Thank you for cleaning me up and setting me free. Thank you for imparting peace to me. May my path be set straight to You throughout the rest of my days. I love You and am wild about You. Thank You for healing my heart. Continue to carry me into Your likeness that I may walk in newness of life.
Amen!
Loved the finale today! Thank you for walking this road so we could follow the path. I am so much farther along in my freedom than I ever dreamed I would be a year ago. You are a dear sweet friend!
Much love to you and all of those who put so much into this work!
Beth – What a blessing today was. The results of your struggle this past year and what God has done with them gives me such hope. This has been a very difficult year for me with health issues, family struggles and estrangement and lots of insecurity. It was also a year where I finally got a job as an addiction counselor after spending almost 6 years getting an education to do what I believed God called me to do. I’ve gotten to work with precious women, some probably like your sister, who have been battling addictions for many years. Three of my clients are now reconciled with their babies and celebrating 1st birthdays together!
Somehow I thought things would go easier once I was doing what I was called to do. Forgot about the roaring lion, and my insecurities really came to the surface in doing such new work. I get angry sometimes that the profession pays so poorly but requires so much education. But most of us do it out of love, not for financial rewards. I am so blessed that God has used me in the lives of the women who live at the transition home where I’ve worked. It was a struggle working in a secular environment where I couldn’t talk about Jesus, but God let me see how what I was doing was making a difference even in my insecurities and feeling like a failure. He also gave me a few co-workers I respect who helped me to see that I am good clinically and have the ability to see the needs of the women I’ve been working with. Needs in the area of trauma recovery, shame and guilt, grief and loss and insecurity. From your background, I’m sure you know that addiction is not really the problem, it’s what’s underneath that needs healing for the addiction to no longer be necessary to cope with life.
I had just finished your book last weekend and had changed the question to “What will you do God if…” when I went to work on Monday to find out my position is being eliminated and there will be no counselor at the transition home. I know this is part of God’s plan and I am so thankful it happened at just this time after reading your book and listening to you speak today. God will use this struggle in some way to change lives. I love listening to the passion when you speak. It’s how I love to speak to others about what God has done for me. I’ve had that privilege a few times and it is just awesome! I have no idea what I’ll be doing or where I’ll be doing it, but I have the confidence that God will use all he has brought me through and that this is just another part of the journey. I guess sometimes we want to camp for long times in places where he only intends we camp for a season. This will be especially interesting and bring God lots of glory because in the natural there are almost no counseling jobs available in my area and certainly few, if any, addiction counselor jobs. But, I know that God will abundantly provide. Thank you Beth for being willing to share your own insecurities because while I know that you are only human, sometimes it takes seeing one of God’s faithful struggle that give us permission to admit our own struggles. If you can overcome, then I can too. How I have wasted time in fear and misunderstanding of what God thinks about me. I plan to use some of my new free time to continue to study and grow stronger in my walk with the Lord. I want to re-read your book this time with a highlighter. I do have a confession, though. Some kind soul gave a copy of your book to the transition home where I work. I brought it home to read it so I could use it with my clients when they were already Christians and struggling. In the end, I’ve kept the book….I’m thinking the person God meant to have it was me. I know the material will be used for His kingdom. One day I’ll get to thank the person who donated it. She has no idea what wonderful seeds it has planted.
Sandy
50’s
SC
Beth,
I was at Woodstock in the overflow room…God is awesome. I put on my Facebook that the heavens are about to bust lose. I feel the wind blowing.
Although I raised my hand to ask a question…I was not close to the mic. Would it be possible to ask a question now through email?
Also, my Pastor’s wife worked during the similcast (sp?) and was unable to see you. Will you be making today available for those who were unable to attend? If I were at my home church I would have worked and insisted she hear you.
Thank you for being a vessel of the Lord. The Spirit of the Lord is truly upon you. I will add you to my daily prayer list for a hedge of protection around you.
Because of His GRACE,
Marj Schroeder
WOW!! I just finished SLI, I feel for the first time in my life that I CAN actually move forward in my life with confidence! This journey though the book has been very hard. I put it down many times and said “I just can’t deal with this” but every time my precious Lord would draw me back and assure me He was with me each step of the way. Thank you Beth, for the first time in my long walk with Christ I truly KNOW how much he loves me. And that my friend, is enough to get me through. The pain the hurts of past, and insecurity they produced have now been placed in proper perspective and can no longer rule my life. Praise to our Precious Savior for using you to meet the needs of so many of His adoring daughters.
Terri
NC
50
Beth,
I was in the Woodstocok overflow room last weekend. I cannot say enough how much of a blessing it was to me. You see, I was born with Turner Syndrome. I am missin a chromosome. I got tickled when you said during your lesson that we were all made with two X chromosomes. I only have one. Normally it would have bothered me, but the Lord was already working in me and for some reason it didn’t. The doctors told my mother that I would be so mentally handicapped that I would not even know what a brush was for and tried to get her to put me up for adoption.Growing up I tried to fit in with my peers but it never worked. I was always different from them and they could sense it. It got worse as I got into middle school and high school. I had some friends, but for the most part I just kept to myself. Especially when it came to guys. I was ok to be friends with, but nothing beyond that. So, needless to say I have always felt very insecure about myself (the way I looked, acted, etc). It got so bad that I thought about ending my life a couple of times. Then, a few years ago when I got out of college I met the Lord and He completly changed me. I no longer wanted to end my life because I now had a purpose. However, I still couldn’t get past my insecurities to do what the Lord has called me to do. Hearing you speak I realized I had things all wrong. I had always thought that it took a process to become a secure woman. I got better and better each day, but never quite there yet. I thought it took time and life experiences to become secure with who I am. However, now I realize that being secure takes a conscience effort on my part and that it can change at the drop of the hat. I have to decide to be secure with myself daily! I know I have rambled on but I just had to tell you how the Lord spoke to me through you Saturday.
Tonya from Georgia
God took me book shopping at Borders last week, and He picked out “So Long Insecurity” for me :-). I’m 20 years old, attending college, and I just finished reading the book this evening. I can’t even begin to explain how much I needed to read it, and I didn’t even realize that insecurity was something I was facing!
I enjoy reading the blogs by your family, I don’t even know you, but I love that you’re my new-found sisters in Christ. I thank you all from the bottom of my heart for sharing your journeys with me!!
Rebekah – Praise God that he lead you to read this book and that you have it available at such a young age. Grasp it’s concepts and plant God’s words deeply in your heart. Remember who you are and whose you are. Can you tell I’m in my late 50’s and wishing I had gotten this much, much earlier…you go girl!!!!!
Sandy
SC
And Beth and Melissa – Don’t stop the blog…we still need it!!!!!
Dear Beth,
I want to thank you for writing this book it has helped me so much. I have told all my female friends about this book I have bought books for two of my friends and for both of my daughters who are 24 and 23. Today is my one daughter’s birthday is 23 today I thought what an awesome gift this would be. I really am praying that God touches them through this book as it as me. I go back to places in the book that I have bookmark when I am too much in my head. Thank so much God for having Beth be search a godly women. I have also sent some of my friends your blog for them to go to also. This book has made things so much better in my mind and has open my heart a little be more on trusting God I really hope this year will be when my heart completely opens all the way to God.
God Bless,
Sharon 40, married, Clinton New York
I have finished the book, whoa… it was amazing. One thought that kept coming to me was why wasn’t something like this available for me to read when I was young, single and very stupid. I am just so thankful that I could read it now when I am 53 years old and benefit from it. I thank God that he was able to use Beth to get this message out to all girls…young and old. (from the south and we call everyone girls). I keep repeating “I am clothed with strength and dignity.” by the grace of God. I would love to do some type of ministry to young single career girls out on their own because I know how tough it is in this big ole world. In the meantime, this ole girl is secure …well I still have my moments, but I am secure in Jesus Christ. Praise God!
married
50’s
Kingwood, TX
Sorry, this is the ONLY time I have posted a lengthy comment, but please hear me out.
Fear Factor: Probably a 7 or an 8. I used to think I wasn’t afraid of anything, I was the ‘brave’ sister, people probably still mostly see me that way. But as God has worked healing in my life the last ~10 years I’ve seen that I had/have huge fears: of rejection and/or ridicule (‘masked’ by tough exterior); of failure (therefore didn’t want to risk); of offending (yields isolation and paralysis)……He’s still leading me out of these step by step and there’s such joy in facing and overcoming fears!!
Probably what resonated the most in Chap 17 (and Beth used ‘my’ example in Chap 18, pg343) was the discussion over pp. 323-328 that started out describing ‘trusting God’ as Him doing what I prayed (or as Beth puts it, ‘do what I told Him’, Ouch!) and then walks us to the place of Beth saying “Lord, I trust You, period.” As a passionate intercessor, I thought I’d made progress in yielding my praying to God’s will….. Y’all, I’ve been frustrated to be so long in finishing this book/study, but THIS WEEK is when I needed to be reading these 2 chapters. One of my best friends and prayer partners found out Monday that she has a recurrence of cancer, this time ‘diffused’ in her lungs. She has an infant granddaughter and a precious daughter with whom she has, in the past, done some of Beth’s studies (live in H-town). Beautiful godly women….
The ‘facts’ of cancer recurrences are scary and I’ve wrested with my emotions and with God all week. I so want to amass a scriptural arsenal and an army of prayer warriors to bring a promise from God to heal her. To complicate my feelings, my own mother died of complications of cancer when my daughter was an infant and I SO don’t want that for my friend’s daughter, son-in-law (and sons), and granddaughter!
But even as I sensed Him give me permission to pray passionately for healing, He did not assure me of her healing this side of heaven, neither did He deny it. I have had to lay down my desires (and I just prayed Beth’s p. 343 prayer, to make sure I’ve surrendered them) and peace has returned to my soul.
I will stand and pray scriptures over her and for her, I will walk with her through whatever twists and turns are ahead, but I don’t have to know the ‘outcome’ of my prayers in order to securely trust God to know and do what’s best. My faith, trust, and security will be in Him, in His character, in His unfailing love, not in His answers.
2.Take away: The above lesson, and also: through the Chap 9 exercise God revealed to me that I hide my true self (out of fear/self-protection) from most people including Him and my husband, so hopefully I will remember that and let Him lead me out of hiding and fully into His light and abundant life.
Thank you so much for letting us have this way to work through this timely book!
May God continue to richly bless all of you at LPM!
As I write this, I am laughing through tears or crying and laughing- whichever way you would like to tell it. 🙂 I bought the SLI book only because I am amazed at how God uses Beth to bring scripture to life! I am a “PK” I’ve heard scripture all my life but never presented in the same capacity as Beth expresses! I have created a little “Beth” library for myself and so, why not buy SLI. I have never thought of myself as an insecure person. Seriously. Never. I honestly only bought it because the author was Beth Moore! God always gets His way, huh? haha. So, I’ve been reading SLI during my lunch breaks at work. And wow, I thought the way I was acting was “normal.” It was just me. I can relate to almost every page in that book, I’ve been insecure and didn’t even know it!!!! No wonder, is all I have to say. I thank God for his grace, mercy, and favor. Otherwise this newly diagnosed insecure chick would have never realized the problem. But trust me, this diagnosis is short lived…I know the remedy. Today begins the second round of SLI for me. The first reading experience was such shock and awe that I have to do this thing again, let it sink in, and get on my face.
Thank you for being so obedient.
i was reading over past blog comments – it encourages me that i am not alone 🙂 and was thinking about this post i wrote last week:
fat as a donut
That’s how I feel about Insecurity
Let me tell you a little bit about my friend.
We have known each other for a long time. 34 years.
He’s been my best friend. He never leaves my side.
He’s smelly, and fat – actually he’s huge and whenever we go out together, which is all the time, he’s the first person people notice. Somehow, I always get over looked.
He’s very selfish. I never have any time to myself.
He loves to eat. More and more of me.
He’s a mocker. Always making fun of me, even when I am alone, and somehow he always shows up in the mirror.
He hates to buy new clothes. So it doesn’t matter what I have on, we always stink.
He loves my makeup and hairspray. He doesn’t let me leave home w/o them.
He’s really into fitness. He always drives me to the Y.
He’s a liar. He says he loves me but he’s in love w/lonely.
He hates my friends. I have a bad feeling he hates me.
He’s jealous. He pushes his weight around & it’s hard to get b/t us.
Come to think of it…he’s a very bad friend. But I can’t seem to lose him.
I need him. We’re conjoined at the heart and I think I would fall apart w/o him.
I don’t even know who I would be if I was on my own. He’s good at reminding me about that.
And I don’t know why he’s a “he”, he just is.
1. Based on Chapter 17, on a scale of 1 to 10 (one-almost none, ten-over the top), how big a part has fear played in your life? After responding with your approximation, please share what, if anything, in the chapter resonated with you.
9. I never thought I was a fearful person, but since leaving my home, going to college, and starting my life with my husband, I’ve taken on the responsibility to make me and my life “great”. Obviously, I have no power to do this on my own, but I think I should. I fear I will be unimportant and anonymous. One of the biggest aspects of the fear is becoming unattractive or ordinary-looking. This sounds absolutely absurd. In reality, it has paralyzed my relationships and directed all my actions. I am praying that 1) I can trust God with my physical self and 2) God would show me the place of the ‘physical’ in his plan. I need a reality check!
2. At this point in my life, this journey has meant shaping the woman I am. As I embark on the most soul-shaping years of my life where my husband and I will begin to create and establish our life and legacy, I see with clearer eyes and more fervent passion what that will look like. Only God knows His plans for me, but I am so excited and absolutely willing to follow Him.
@Tonya Linden.
Wow! You have a beautiful way with your words and analogies. Just remember, God sees YOU first. He sees your heart. I’ve never met you, but I love what I know through your words. Well done. And good for you for having the boldness to put it out there too.
-Lonna
Friday, May 7, 2010
So Long Insecurity, Weeks 8 and 9: Conclusion and a Mouse
I failed to post the response to these questions. It seems the month of April got to be really, really busy! 🙂 God continues to be faithful! I wanted to post the answers. This book really opened my eyes to my own insecurities. . .BTW: Tonight, I solved one of them. I HATE MICE!! I HATE MICE!!! And, today, for the first time I can ever recall, I took care of a dead one. 🙂 HA GO ME! Believe me, there was a lot of praying going over that dead mouse. . Not that he would come back to life, but that I would remain calm and deal with him. . . (Ok, for the record, it was handled with double gloves, and trash taken out immediately. . . but, it was cleaned up. 🙂
1) As you surely noticed, Chapter 14 is more of a testimony than a teaching but it concludes with a charge to deal with our female insecurities for the sake of young girls coming up behind us. Annabeth was my big inspiration for the journey. Briefly describe someone who is worth doing what it takes to you to live abundantly and effectively in Christ. Help us picture her so that she inspires us, too. Needless to say, don’t share more than she’d want you to.
For my patients, I need to teach little girls that they are able to jump up and do things on their own. They can be secure in who they are through Christ. We are loosing a generation of gals (and guys) to drugs, alcohol, sex, pornography. . .because they are looking for security in something or because they are so insecure in themselves they figure why should anybody care about them?
2) I wish we could discuss all of Chapter 15 in person but this is the next best thing. Name a couple of ways pertinent to your sphere of life and influence that you could look out for your own gender in our battle with insecurities. In other words, how can you (not others but you in particular) start becoming part of the solution in your female relationships rather than default into part of the problem. No condemnation here. Goodness knows, we’ve all been both. Our challenge is to learn to be deliberate. How are you prepared to do that?
Change begins with me. My attitude towards being secure vs. insecure. My attitude to show people I care, to show people my God is able to take all our weaknesses and make his followers strong. If I am secure, God shows through me. Others are able to see that same security and know that it is not from anything I do, but all from Christ.
3) I can’t wait to see your answers to this one. Based on Chapter 16 and the challenge to look past ourselves, what is your passion? If you don’t have one presently, don’t feel pressured or unnerved. You might be too deep in toddlers or school work to think past the urgent. Those things are priority and need to be your passion right now. If, however, you long for something that makes you feel fully alive and part of something specific God is doing for the greater good, ask Him to nurture that vision in you. It will be ultimately be the key to life on the outskirts of self-absorption. Keep in mind, your passion may not be anything you’re currently engaged in. Maybe you don’t have the opportunity to participate right now. Maybe it’s just in dream-form. Or maybe it’s just a place God has tendered your heart. Try to give it a name. What is something outside of yourself that you feel passionate about?
I have a passion for teenage girls. I have a passion for women’s bible study- to dig deep into the world. . .not to touch the surface.
Conclusion/Week 9
1. Based on Chapter 17, on a scale of 1 to 10 (one-almost none, ten-over the top), how big a part has fear played in your life? After responding with your approximation, please share what, if anything, in the chapter resonated with you.
I would say a 9 out of 10. . . but, I am gradually seeing the scale tip in the opposite direction.
2. Reflect over the journey as a whole. What (again, if anything) lasting and of God will you take away from it?
I am a royal princess. I am good enough. Period.