Hey, Darling Things! I am sitting at a Cafe Express in Houston on yet another gorgeous Spring day while Melissa (home for Spring Break) is meeting with a Wordpress moderator so she (and we) can develop some proficiency on this format. It’s more complicated behind the scenes than you might think. She wanted me to be part of the tutoring session but I told her that I needed to do this post. Then she suggested that I come along but sit at a different table while we do two different things. I tried planting myself only three tables over but I’m interminably nosey (does it go with size of nose??) and kept listening to what they were saying. I prefer to do that with total strangers, especially couples that appear to be on first dates, but not many people are at Cafe Express this morning for breakfast and no one appears to be dating. Does anyone really date anymore anyway? A subject for another day.
I am happy to be here just the same whether or not the people watching is paltry. The coffee choices are enough to keep me intrigued. You don’t just get coffee here. You get choices like these in big huge cannisters:
“Equatorial Coffee” – “hints of buttery toast (who knew? no need to even eat breakfast with it??), cocoa nib (i love me some cocoa nib! i just didn’t know it! what is a nib exactly? like a little niblet?), almond, bold fruit, sweet (no one ever tells me I’m sweet. fun on occasion. never “you’re so sweet.” i don’t know why.), bright and clean.”
And
“Costa Rican Coffee” – “balanced (that’s me), clean (in Christ), classic (wannabe), winey (only when I don’t get my way. a lot of southern baptists don’t believe in being other kinds of whiny)with berry notes (berry notes? as in music notes? or as in sticknotes?), rich in body (is there no way we can get away from this?).”
So, as you can see, I’m dealing with a few distractions. And have had a bit too much Costa Rican. I think I’m allergic to berry notes. Melissa and I had an awkward moment when we pulled up in the parking lot and started stacking up our stuff to come into the restaurant. I have a paperback copy of SLI that I use to prepare our weekly discussions. All the sudden I flashed it at her and said, “I can’t take this in there.” How lame would that be? She said, “Tear off the cover.” So I did. Ripped that thing right off.
It’s time for us to finish up! I am so grateful for your partnership through this journey. You were such a big part of the inspiration to write it (not because you’re insecure or anything… but because I knew I’d have a little company if I went public). When it came out, reading it together seemed only fitting. Thank you for your willingness to enter in. As for the rest of you, I can only imagine that you will be relieved to have this hog off the blog and I equally thank you for your patience.
Let me say quickly before we get to the final set of instructions, I loved reading about your life passions last week! One of my favorite sets of comments from this journey! (And, separate from SLI, your testimonies of receiving Christ impacted my whole Easter weekend. Superb. I felt that God delighted in it and that, Sweet Thing, is my favorite feeling.)
This week’s assignment? Finish this baby up! Please read Chapters 17 and 18 and answer the following questions:
1. Based on Chapter 17, on a scale of 1 to 10 (one-almost none, ten-over the top), how big a part has fear played in your life? After responding with your approximation, please share what, if anything, in the chapter resonated with you.
2. Reflect over the journey as a whole. What (again, if anything) lasting and of God will you take away from it?
Thank you, thank you, thank you, Ladies. You are a great joy to me. May the God of peace sanctify us through and through – spirit, soul, and body – until we are wholly overtaken by Him. (1 Thess. 5:23) This alone will be the essence of wholeness.
I love you.
Beth, You are so sweet!!
Still on ch 12… will catch up with you in a few days! Not giving up.. it took me awhile to get through ch 9 I think it is…awesome … love to my insecure no more sistas
Jenny
40
married w/3 kids
Bama
1. One tremendous way that I have been blessed is to have been raised by a mother,sister, and church family that taught me at a very early age that GOd did not give me a spirit of fear. Although I admit to sometimes be consumed by the daily problems that my own children are facing, I very rarely have a spirit of fear (except for rats).
2. I don’t have my book with me, but the being clothed with dignity and strength and being the women that I want my daughters to grow up to be seems to be buried deep in my soul.
Finally, as a fairly secure women (thanks in part to Breaking Free), I thank you for writing this book. I pray that everyone will move forward and get on with what God created us to do in the first place.
I’m beginning to get a complex…none of my post on this new site are showing up. I’ve checked because I wanted to reply if someone had commented on anything I’ve said…Beth had said on the other site to forgive myself for misspellings so I have resolved not to even check for that here but I really like the idea of the chain thing we have here to comment on others comments right under them like a thread. So I was checking on some of my threads…but maybe you have so many to monitor that you just haven’t got to mine…but if something is wrong with my comments will you please email me the problem…I can’t fix my mistake if I don’t know what I’ve done wrong…and no please don’t post this comment…it is for you all alone. To point out my personal difficulty and see if there is something that can be done about it. Thank you for all you do.
And wouldn’t you just know that this one is the post that made it???
FYI: I too had several postings that never “made it” ~ given the givens of computers probably for technical reasons which I suspect is what’s happened to yours . . .
Whew! I finished the book this morning…….:)
In the past fear has played a huge part in my life. I can remember crying in hysterics when my husband would be late getting home……..(this was before cell phones). By the time he got home his funeral had been planned and the casket closed. A lot of wasted emotions and energy! And then the day did come and my 40yr old husband stepped into the presence of God Almighty. Amazing how God gave me a peace and a presence each step of the journey as I learned to “Trust Him!” I didn’t need His grace earlier when I was imagining so He didn’t give it, but when I needed His grace and peace He flooded me with His presence.
Another fear has been that of losing a child…..unfortunately…..6 1/2 yrs ago my 24 yr old son was killed in a car accident. As difficult as this was, I knew that God had carried me through my husband’s death and he would also carry me through my sons. God did not disappoint me…….He was there each step of the way!
Other fears……sure….losing one of my other children or now a grandchild…..cancer….but through God’s grace and mercy and our past journey together I KNOW that He will be with me every step of the way as I learn to TRUST HIM each day. It is a daily choice!
Looking forward to the simulcast at our church and for many women to break free from their insecurities and learn to trust in our Sovereign, Almighty God!
50’s
Memphis
Married
Wow, that is very encouraging, thank you for sharing!
Eleanor, I am so sorry you have had these loses but admire your ability to share them here and encourage us all! I especially loved how you explained that when you are imagining things His grace is not necessary but when it is, it appears — He is Good!
Beth – Thank you so much for this journey. I’ve never done a blog study before but this was great. 🙂
1. Fear has been a big part of my struggle. Most of the time probably a 7 but definitely a 10 during those moments where I’ve had major anxiety about something beyond my control! My two biggest fears have been fear of losing something or someone I love and fear of being forgotten. You mentioned in your book that trusting God goes beyond what I want to keep intact in my life. Thank you for that. I’ve had a couple of worst fears realized. But God delivered me out of those situations and gave me what I needed which is always better than what I thought I wanted. He knew those losses would leave a scar on my heart but He also knew it would become part of my testimony. He works all things together for his greater purpose.
2. I really appreciate so much of this book. I can recognize the signs of insecurity in an instant now. Knowing the triggers, my own triggers and returning to scripture to listen to His truth is huge. I know I’ll have those anxious moments again… I am somewhat wired to worry I think, but at least I feel more confident that I can stop it in its tracks sooner now and reset my thinking. I am also so sensitive to the fact that women as a gender struggle internally with this and with each other! I do not want to be part of any woman’s insecurity if I can help it. Thank you. It has been such a needed journey. I feel such healing taking place! 🙂
Marlys
Oregon
Married
39
1. I guess I am way up there at 9 or 10. My mother was one of those afraid of everything and unfortunately passed it along to me. I am and was a willful child/adult so I worked hard to do all those things my mother was afraid of careful not to pass it on. We flew on airplanes, the kids are unafraid, I spoke at PTA knees knocking, thank you for longer dresses, etc. I always thought I was unimportant but my daughter tells me Mom, you are awesome even if you are annoying.
2. I guess what I take with me is that I am not alone and as I look around me I see insecurities in friends I thought wow, if I only could be more like them and somehow knowing, realizing other people’s insecurities, I feel a bit empowered, maybe the Holy Spirit really does have a plan for my life, maybe he has been using me and I did not even realize it. I will be more aware of other people’s struggles in this book which makes me feel less insecure because I want to be helpful, being needed by someone makes us all feel more secure. Thank you Beth for the journey. I look forward to continuing through Bible study and your wonderful blog. You and all the siestas empower me and have made me feel more secure.
Carla
50’s
30years happily married
HaHa, I’m actually going on a first date on Saturday evening 🙂
Recently I had a dark cherry mocha on ice and I was in much-like with it!
I might not be the first one to say this now, but Beth, you are sweet… because you are always telling us you love us 🙂
sorry, this wasn’t a response for SLI, but I’m going to read it soon.
God bless you all!
Lisa
I was just thinking the other night that it’s been awhile since there’s been a laugh out loud type of post on the blog – I was reminiscing about the jimmy-rigged dead coffee maker post. Well, you did it! You brought a huge smile to my face this evening with a silly lighthearted post. Thanks for that. I needed it today.
1. Fear has played a large role in my life. I’d say an 8. I’ve been afraid that no one would like me. I grew up as the only child from a first marriage(that was never really talked about). My half bros and sister received much more attention and love. I was constantly rejected at home and developed a fear of people. The Lord became real to me at age 12 and it was like I was glued to Him ever since. 12 years later, God has done SO much in my life to pull me out of the walls I’ve built around myself…esp. between my husband and I. I used to assume he(hubby) was doing things behind my back, or that one day he would just lose interest in me, even up until I read SLI I thought this way. Now, I am confident that God is there for me and that I shouldn’t give preference to my husband’s interests in me over God’s interests in me. I am secure in that God loves me and likes me and is interested in me and wants me, even when I feel no one else does!!! It’s amazing!
2. There are 3 things I am reminded of and will continually take with me each day from reading SLI and from the Lord using it to speak to me. a) My husband is not a god and should not have the same level of respect as God. I do respect my husband as high as I can, but I respect God and His thoughts toward me far more. That actually frees me to love my husband better and more purely that ever before. b) I am not as easily tempted now when I want to know “more” of what I probably don’t need to know. I just let it go and pray that God would whop my husband if he’s being bad, or that He would just bless him. c) the battle of insecurity can arise anytime, anywhere, but God is always there to help us find a way out. I am more inclined to remember who I am in Christ now when I feel threatened instead of succumb to the thought that I am really worthless. I’m not, Christ’s worth exceeds anything else in life, period! and He has put that inside me!
I want to say that SLI is a fantastic book, but it’s useless unless you have a relationship with Jesus. If you recite that you’re beautiful and that you have dignity in Christ, blah blah blah…and you’re doing it by yourself…you’ll find it doesn’t fully satisfy. It kind of half works. But when you are praying to God and engaging Him in your little every day thoughts, that’s when security anchors your soul. Security won’t be real if you’re only thinking positive thoughts(even if they are the right ones to think)on your own, it’s only real when you are talking and walking with Christ. I finished the book a couple weeks ago. Since then I’ve had plenty of opportunities to use what I learned in the book, the biggest thing I’ve realized is sometimes I don’t have the words to make me feel secure and counteract a bad thought, but I ask the Lord to clean my mind and I’ll recite a verse or two and then when all else fails and I still feel overwhelmingly, suffocatingly insecure, I remember I’m not what life is all about. I ask God to humble me and I start praising and worshiping Him…and many times I don’t “feel” like doing that. But it changes me and my thinking and I’m truly secure and satisfied when I’m doing what God created me(and all mankind) to do, worship Him and enjoy Him forever. When I recognize He is God and I am to worship Him, it’s amazing what a boost of security that is. All of the sudden the pressure to be perfect is lifted and I remember that being Perfect is for God alone. Praise Him!
Hard to believe we have come to this place already!! Thank you so much for writing the book and making this blog available! It is such a blessing! And so are all of you Siestas!!
1. I would rate my fear as having been anywhere from 5-10 depending somewhat on the situation. I realize I have a huge fear that I will not be liked (or be a struggle to be with) and that what I haave to offer is a chore to bear. I generally like people and would be willing to put in the effort to be a friend.
2. What I am coming away with is an awareness that things are changing. As I mentioned to my group that has been meeting every week to share and discuss, I am noticing that I am able to “choose” to not let go of my dignity, etc. Just yesterday I was invited to visit a friend and when I arrived a woman that seriously sturggles with me (and I quite like her) was there. My choice in the past would have been to just drive by, but I said “No, this lady wanted me to come, and the other woman cannot take that away. I was able to go in, smile, genuinely care, and had a great visit. The other woman, by the way, did not stay long. Praise the Lord, we can walk with dignity. That is so refreshing after so many years of feeling like everything that meant the most to me was taken away and then walking in shame and condemnation. God is so good!!
This has been a helpful study. One that i ended up living out and growing from.
(1)Fear at least 6.
(2)I go away with a rich reminder of who God has made me and that He is faithful to complete His work. …and i want Him to work it -not my own made up ways of working life, that no matter how many times i have tried them …just do not work (or do not work to bring Him honor). Our God is good. To quote David Crowder Band “you make everything glorious and I am yours, what does that make me”
Billie Jo
married
40’s
When I finished this book up this weekend I was given this amazing moment of perfect quiet in my house so I sat and I pondered this journey through this book and how God has been using it. You see during this book blog has been going on at the same time as having to face my emotional predator that had been a part of my life and was wanting to come back, still is. But by the grace of God I’m beginning to see things in me and know that it is a good thing to stand my ground, especially when that ground has been given to me by Christ Jesus!
Here are my answers:
1) fear and me have been like pen pals to insecurity. It has been a sick 10 :op Yuck!
2) Realizing some major unhealthy thinking about security, beginning to find my security rooted in Christ and to start living my life (**ahem** and admitting that talking to myself is a good thing!)
1. I would give myself a 9. There is so much I regret doing/not doing because of fear. Page 321 stood out to me when it reminded me to trust God with myself, my husband, my job,my health, my family, my friends, my threat. It could not have come at a better time. Praise God that I WILL one day be a woman who can come face to face with each of those fears and be steadfast in trusting my Savior to make it work for HIS good.
2. This has been the sweetest journey. I am coordinating the simulcast for our church on the 24th, and am so thankful that God put this book in my life at the exact time He knew I could handle it. I can’t possibly invite dozens of women to attend this event without seeing if it REALLY worked – and Praise God it does! I have peace where I used to have anxiety. I have hope where I used to have fear. God is good – He provides, He equips, and He is my security! I can’t wait to see where we (God & I) go from here!
This has been a great ride Miss Beth, thanks. 1. What frightens me? The loss of my children and my husband. Multiple Sclerosis and what it has taken from me and not knowing if it will get really bad over the course of my life. However, my fear would show up as a 1 on the Fear Scale.
It has been and will continue to be, something that I have slowly come to realize, I am not in control. SURPRISE! hee hee. Trusting God with my life has happened step by step, inch by inch. I have found, over the past 9 years, trusting God has been a victory over my fears and has given me such a calming sense of well-being,joy and strength.
After reading SLI, I have begun saying to myself, “I trust You. Period.” and “I am clothed with dignity and strength and no one can take it from me, ever.” Everytime my mind wants to go completely ‘Hollywood’ on me and scare me half to death, I stop and say those phrases. Those 4 little words I TRUST YOU. PERIOD. Have given me huge comfort, peace, calmness, confidence and joy. These feelings flood my soul and sweep my fear away. It is LIBERATING! Miss Beth, I have Psalm 46:10 hanging on my wall. It is a picture of a single tree, leafless, snow on the ground and a fence running by it, a very peaceful scene. I feel so at ease when I look at it and say, out loud, what is printed below. Miss Beth, in SLI, page 327, the last full paragraph resonates with me. That is what I had to work through when I was diagnosed with MS. I finally went face down before God, accepted His grace and mercy, believed Him to take up my cause and work it together for good, and then…
I WOULD GET UP AND CHOOSE TO LIVE!!!!
That is what I have done. Who am I to think I should reject or give up this precious gift from God? I would miss out on all the gifts He wants to give to me and has already given to me. When I get to heaven and look into His eyes, I so want Him to say to me, “Well done, my good and faithful servant.” I trust you God. Period.
2. What will I take from this journey that is lasting and of God? Inner peace, confidence, trust, joy, power over fear through and with help from God. To fearlessly walk the path He has prepared for me and to share what I have learned with my fellow sisters and brothers in Christ, non-believers too, along our walk through this glorious life. I would like to suggest another song by Aretha Franklin it is titled ‘You’re All I Need To Get By’ I like to dedicate it to Jesus and then sing it out loud and proud, and I know with out a doubt He doesn’t care how off key I am, He loves me just the way He made me, amen. Here are the Lyrics:
Like sweet morning dew I took one look at you
And it was plain to see you where my destiny
With my arms open wide I threw away my pride
I sacrificed for you, dedicated my life to you
Like I would go where you lead
I’ll be right there in time of need
And when I lose my will you’ll be there to push me up that hill
There’s no looking back for us
We’ve got each other’s love and that’s enough
Cause you’re all I need to get by (chorus sung in Aretha’s typical
‘run’ fashion)
Like an eagle protects his nest for you I’ll do my best
Stand by you like a tree and dare anybody who tries to move me
Darlin’ in you I’ve found strength where I was torn down
I don’t know what’s in store but together we can open any door
Just do what’s good for you I’ll inspire you a little bit higher
I know you can make a wo-man out of soul that didn’t have a goal
Cause we’ve got the right foundation and with the love
and determination (yes we do)
You’re all I need to get by :-)!!!!
as usual I forgot my personal info to my very long winded post.
Andrea – Montana – 40’s – Happily married and in love with Jesus too.
You are a blessing and enjoyed reading your testimony.
Also, enjoyed your poem. May God bless you.
1) I am probably fearful as a 7 on the scale. Not good, but I’m working on it.
2) My biggest thing I’m taking with me is that every woman has insecurities and some are different from mine. So if someone is better looking or smaller or has more money, that doesn’t mean I am ugly, fat and poor. 🙂 I feel more secure than when I started this and I am excited about practicing recognizing signs and triggers for me. I’ve enjoyed this journey and can’t wait for the simulcast to finish this up! Love ya! 30’s, married.
1- my fear is 7 or 8, fear I will be rejected. Over and over. How the enemy has stirred that over and over. But I am trying to dwell on those scriptures, the truth of God’s word. Looking up more and more scriptures to look at who I am in Christ.
2- I realize more and more of God’s word has to be in my heart and mind. To know His truths and promises He has made. They are made to me. The more I pursue my heavenly father the more I can be free, and help my grown daughters, but also my granddaughter and future granddaughters He gives our family.
I thank you you wrote this book. It was one of the best birthday presents my husband could give me.
Stacy,Cincinnati, 40’s, married
Ok, I haven’t finished the reading just yet. I’ve been “mildly” distracted leading a Breaking Free (revised edition) group at church (fabulous, BTW) so I am working through chapter 15 today but just had to comment on the “ripping off the cover”! Ha-Ha!! How hysterical! While I am not a “cover ripper off-er” I have to share this little story. I must admit when I first purchased the book I was eager to get right into it so while I had a few hours away from the office to get my Iphone repaired (yes, dropped it on cement! UGH!!) I took the book into the store with me to read on while I waited. Just before they finished with my phone I noticed the cutest eldery couple sitting just adjacent from me boring a hole straight through me! At first, I was clueless wondering if I had forgotten to zip my pants or something! (insecurity-ouch!) Then, about half way back to the office, right there on interstate 285 I nearly creamed the car next to me when it hit me, “They were staring at my BOOK!” Just before I let myself get really riled up over the invasion of privacy I had to catch myself and laugh (ok, so I laughed later – much later, like chapter 8 later) at my own insecure perceptions. We are right there with you, Sieta Mama! Thanks for “coming out of the closet” with this book! Just one other question….could someone please right a SLI for men?? Ha-ha!!
Dawn in Pennsylvania
Married
50’s
Oh I just loved this book!! Thank you so much for giving of your precious time to share these wonderful thoughts, insights, and truths with us!! I am sorry it is over….and hope we do something as a group again soon 🙂
Ok, before I type my answers I was wonderfing if someone could answer this question for me:
I want to add Ps. 112:7-8 to my spiral note cards to memorize and was wondering if it would be ok to substitude “I” and “my, me, etc.” — my instinct says no problem, as I have done it before…but I noticed that Miss Beth commented “I don’t think God will mind one bit if we change……..” so……does it work for one more change? Help me!!!
1) I haven’t dealt with any realy debilitating fear in my lifetime…just something as foolish as the fear of success. I answered before that I shy away or sometimes even self-sabotage a promotion as I am so afraid I will lose it within a short time. It has everyone in my family and my team of women very frustrated!!
2)I will take sooo much away from this study….not to mention a side cramp from the car wash story — my daughter kept hollering from the living room to me in the kitchen “What in the world is so funny in there!??!” — but mostly I have some good Scripts…..and some profound simple affirmations….”I have this Treasure!” will stay with me and I have already used it….”I trust you Lord. Period!” — that is a keeper if I ever got one! and Prov. 31:25 and Ps. 112 are already written out for memorization. It’s a long trek ahead but there is a very, very brite LIGHT at the end of the tunnel. Thank you for everything.
In His love!!
ugh!! I forgot to rate my fear —– 8!!
Monica
Ohio
40
I will answer question 2 with no hesitation.I realized the value in “group therapy.” In doing this bible study with women all over the country and hearing their stories and their comments has made me more confident just in the fact that everyone is dealing with something. The power that comes from realizing that “I am not the only crazy one” is enormous. By the way, I mean that in the most precious way possible. We all have baggage and we are all wanting to let it go. I am so glad to hear it!
Conclusion?! 🙁 Yes, conclusion…ready to fight the good fight of faith…
I have written several times already only to backspace and begin again. My greatest fear is rejection. On the scale it is 9/8…
I can trust God more so now than ever before.
I highlighted “Once he pinpoints our emotional Achille’s heel, he draws back the bow and aims the poisonous dart straight at it. He figures out what we’re most afraid of , and then he taunts us unmercifully with expert marksmanship…Most of the enemy’s power is in his bluff, but he has been around long enough to know…”
Beth…I believe God…my shield is lifted and my weapon is out of the sheath…thank you for the sharpening of my sword which is the Word of God! I am also doing Esther and I have the cards “It’s tough being a woman…”
If________then GOD!!!
“Lord, I trust you, Period.”
Deborah, 50(very soon), married, NM CT
I’ve gotten behind, but I’m determined to finish with you, Beth! God is doing some amazing things through SLI (combined with about everything else He’s bringing into my life right now…)
Thanks!!
I just wanted to say that I just read this weeks assignment and was thinking about finishing up the book and getting to the bottom of some of my struggles – but then flipped to one of my favorite websites, Christ Notes, for the day’s verse. It quoted Mark 10:27 in the NIV which says – Jesus looked at them and said, “With man this is impossible, but not with God; all things are possible with God.” I just wanted to share that.
Loved your comment about being a blog hog. Not that I think you are, but I’m pretty sure I snort a few “oinks” now and then. This little piggy will try to behave today:
1. I used to hang out around an 8 far too regularly. But God had an interesting “cure” in mind for me. One night sometime after midnight someone tried to break into my bedroom window. As God would have it I was awake and immediately called 911. During the long moments that followed, not knowing if the police would make it in time, the Lord and I had a conversation unlike any other we’d ever shared. It was time to be blunt: I told the Lord I really hadn’t planned on dying at age 24 and had certainly not wanted to die a violent death, but…if I was going to be with Him in the next few moments, well…all right then. Please don’t misunderstand this to be some super-spiritual prayer. You could just simply smell the rubber hitting the road. Well, the police did make it and said the would-be-intruder was seconds from being in my room. Though I suffered months of nightmares and even moved, God did me a tremendous favor that night. He walked me right up to the edge of one of my worst fears and had me peer over the cliff. With His Presence right there with me assuring me that even this worse-case-scenario could not seperate me from Him, He effectively uprooted a huge source of fear in my life. I believe He also equipped me with this thought process that Beth shared with us: to go ahead and think our fear out to its final conclusion and THEN ask, “Now what?” And because Nothing gets to seperate us from God’s Presence, we can “fear not.”
Thank you for giving my wordy little soul another forum to vent. Blessings from Little Miss Piggy. aka
Kathy B
H’ville, TN
40’s
married
So Miss Beth, I wish I hadn’t read your book so I could read it again. God had so gentle with me during this book, but also very determined. I just loved it. So much so, guess what? My man, Greg Vest, is gonna read it too! Yippee, but play it off with me so that we don’t make tooo big of a deal of it so he won’t changes his sweet little mind, not that his mind is little, but it is for certain sweet:)
I am a counselor and have referred this book to every client I am seeing. Weekly I await for them to tell me how God is loving them and if they got to the big prayer chapter…..
I will read it again I am certain, but probably in another needed season.
Love to you,
Kim Vest
I have so enjoyed participating in the book and blog. I have read the book each week and kept a journal to answer each question which I can go back and read over whenever I need or want to and I have enjoyed reading comments when I have a chance. This is my first time commenting though, I have just not had the time to put in my thoughts since I get wrapped up in reading the other comments and then naptime is over 🙂 But I did not want to miss out on commenting at least once through this journey. I love the book and how helpful it all is. A group of ladies from church and I are doing this and completing Living Beyond Yourself in bible study and we end up sharing with one another ideas from both each week. Thanks Beth for all you share and for letting the Lord speak through you, I so look forward to each new thing you do!
1. I feel like I would put myself at a 6/10. I don’t think I am overly fearful but I definitely let fear impact decisions I make, most of my insecurity is fueled by fear, I fear rejection, insult, disapproval, judgement… I am tired of depriving myself of different experiences and challenges because of what I am afraid might happen, I love your description of your discussion with God “Say it does happen, what then?” I mostly want to hang onto the idea of trusting God in it all. I have always had such a fear of flying but recently I just focused on the fact that God is in control and trusted Him and He just gave me such peace and I for once did not have any fear or anxiety. He is so faithful.
2. I am really going to carry with me the internal conversations, telling myself how this security is mine from God and you cannot have it! I realized through all this how I was so self absorbed in my insecurity. Why in the world did I believe everyone else would be so interested in everything I do or say that I am in fear of going forward? Do we all really have the inclination or time to disect what everyone else is doing yet I assumed they were all sitting around waiting to make a call on what I just did. I am so free now to focus on God not on me!
Sheri
Idaho
30s
Married
I’m not sure how to rate my fear, but this I do know: my fear level has been decreasing rapidly for the past year (since studying Esther, Daniel, Breaking Free-New Edition, and now reading SLI)! Thank you Beth!!@
Chyrll
Married / 60s
Memphis, Tennessee
I just wanted to share that I just started my new book blog a couple of days ago. I pray that it will be successful and that it will reach out to other women and bless them. I have your book, “So Long, Insecurity: You’ve Been a Bad Friend to Us” on my wish list. Hopefully, I will be able to get it soon and place a review on my blog site.
My new book blog is called: “Bookend Diaries”
http://bookenddiaries.blogspot.com
I also, wanted to thank Beth so much for her study on Esther. I just finished it and I felt like that course was written directly for me. I lost both my parents when I was very young and it completely spoke to me on so many levels.
God Bless You,
Kelly McDermott-Bay
Mary
Illinois
50’s
Married
#1 On a scale my fear would be 7-9. Fear has played a bigger part in my life than I was aware of. When I was younger and unsaved I do not remember having fear. I learned at an early age that fear showed weakness, and so I would act as if I was not afraid as a protection from the hard cruel world. And then I became a Christian and I feared the Lord when I would do things that would separate me from Him. (Sin) And as I get older I find myself having MORE fears than ever before, and I tell the Lord when I am fearful and why and ask Him to forgive me and help me with my fear. I fear sickness for myself and those I love, esp. my only grandson. I fear death of my children and my grandson. I fear financial woes. I fear things I have no control over. I think it is a faith thing…..Lord give me more faith to believe YOU and what your WORD says…Period! But you are right Beth……if I am going to play it out in my mind….take it ALL the way to the other side. No matter what, HE will be there. HE loves me, I am the apple of HIS eye and HE is with me always! So many things in my walk with the Lord are tested in circumstances. It is easy to say things, but then the test comes and HE makes it clear to me how TOTALLY dependent on Him I need to stay.
#2 Thank you very much Beth for the time and tears, and prayers you put into this book for us. I have used up several colored markers throughout this book. 🙂 One of my summer projects is to memorize some of the key verses in this study that will help me when insecurity raises its ugly head. I also plan on putting the prayer in the back of the book on the frig where I can get to it easily when needed. For me, now I need to let the Holy Spirit put what we have learned in this book into my heart and into action. After I finished the “prayer of ongoing victory over insecurity”, I went back to the prayer I wrote to the Lord in the front of my book that Beth suggested to do in week one! I asked and gave permission for the Lord to root out all that needed to come out for me to become a woman of authentic security. “I am clothed with strength and dignity, God gave it to me, it is mine, you cannot have it. I choose to trust God. Period!” Do a work in me Oh Lord! ♥♥♥
1) Fear factor – 9! If you could see my book and all the highlight, you would instantly know that this chapter resonated with me in a big way!!! Something as simply, yet profound, as trusting God. After I pondered that for some time, I almost wanted to beat myself up, but realized it was the master deceiver who wanted me to belittle myself for not having seen that before; for not having realized any of this! Another point that I found particularly helpful was, and I quote from the book, “the moment you’re cognizant of an outbreak of insecurity, learn to check your heart for what you’re afraid of” (p 320)
2) Trusting Him. Also being aware of my insecurities and how to pray through them and recognize that I am at a place where my insecurity is about to rear its ugly head. I will also take from this book, the pray at the end and make it my own.
Beth, thank you from the bottom of my heart for this material. Just knowing that I am not alone in my insecurities has been a help. (my sister saw this book on my coffee table and said I was the LAST person she thought needed this book…..just goes to prove we don’t know who is dealing with insecurities because I feel like insecurity was my middle name!)
My dear miss Beth, if you had written none of the rest of the book save chapter 17 God would still have used it to change lives all over the world. I read along diligently and answered all the homework questions sincerely, but nothing fully sank in till I got to that precious chapter.
A little back story on my week…I’ve spent the last few months mentally and emotionally preparing myself for my husbands deployment to Afghanistan, and this morning that time finally came. It’s been a long week of tying up loose ends, making plans, dealing with unfriendly hormones, frantic prayers, and trying to savor every moment together. I’m not generally a very emotional person, and we’re quite used to spending long months apart, but deployments are different, and no sooner had he walked out the door than I lost it. I rarely cry but I couldn’t stop myself this time. I knew I’d find comfort in God’s word and with bleary eyes I flipped to a psalm. After a few minutes I calmed down enough to go into my quiet time and pray. Later at work I did the last reading in the book and the tears started all over again as you listed Ps. 112: 7-8. That was the very passage God had given me first thing this morning!!! I don’t believe in coincidence where scripture is concerned and bawled my whole way through that chapter. I felt like God was in that very room with me holding my face in his hands and asking me to trust him.
My deepest fear recently has been that I would find myself widowed after just a year and a half of marriage, in a strange town, far from family and friends. While it’s still a very real fear I know now that I can trust Him with my husband’s safety completely, and that if God forbid something should happen, that He will see me through to wholeness again…eventually. I read the chapter three times and wrung all the truth out of it that I could. I have stored it deep in my heart for future reference and assurance. The future may be uncertain, but His faithfulness and trustworthiness is not, and I will fight to hold on to that. God is so good, and I fall on my face in awe of his mercy.
Thanks for letting me ramble, and THANK YOU for saving the best for last.
Rebekah
Yuma,AZ
married
29
Rebekah, beautifully written…beautifully written! Joy lept within me as I read through your post as the love and wonder of God and your trust in him conveyed itself with words that brought encouragement to me a fellow believer in Jesus! God speed to you my sister.
Deborah
1. I would say fear for me is at about an 8. I know God is in control yet I worry and think over in my head scenario after scenario of “What if’s”….. Dropping the conditions off of my trust and determine that God will take care of me no matter what is what spoke to me. Your whole example of the Lord speaking to you and saying “Now what..” “What then…” until you get to the part of picking yourself up and determining to choose to live following Christ and trusting Him again!
2. I CAN CHOOSE TO BE FREE FROM MY INSECURITIES because the Lord is my SECURITY!! Im going to look for triggers and do my best to diffuse them. Im going to choose differently and keep moving towards the goal of Security in Christ alone!! Im also going to re-read this book and continue to re-pray those prayers until Im free from this bondage of Insecurity forever even if that means til the grave.
Thank you for your faithfulness in writing this book. It has been an answer to my prayers. I finally know Im making progress in this area. Thank you for your dedication to the Lord Beth!! Can’t wait for the Simulcast!!
Erin
Glendale, CALIFORNIA
32
Happily Married
First let me say that I will not be teaching my Sunday School Class this week. One of our substitute teachers stepped up and took the reins. My day to teach is next Sunday. Please pray for me. 🙂
50 something
Alabama
1. I would have to say my level of fear is probably an 8. My biggest fear is that something devastating will happen to my children. Every prayer I pray is for the Lord to surround them and protect them…to keep them close and safe. What resonated with me is I learned this is a conditional prayer. Now, when I lift my children up in prayer I shall tell the Lord that I trust Him period.
2. I will take away that “I am clothed with strength and dignity.”
Thank you, Beth Moore, for this beautiful book and for your hard work you give to God. You are precious.
Theresa, there is something special about you I like. I am going to pray for you.
May God bless you extra special!!!
Beth and all~
You have heard this before but I have to say you have no idea the timing of this. Satan hit my family hard this week…so very hard. This doesn’t happen to people of God, in ministry, seeking to believe in Him and serve Him and love Him. I have screamed “why? I have even been screaming “why have you forsaken this family?” but now in reading this chapter…and though I am very angry, I am taking a breath and trying to turn it on satan. I had it in my mind I wasn’t even going to church on Sunday. I am humiliated to say the least. They may have heard. (1)My fear rating? It’s high now. I need that cup of coffee with you right now but your sister-in laws experience in the car wash made me laugh and cry…I needed to cry. Thank her for going through that so I could cry. (2)I see no hope. I can not envision how God can turn this into something good but it is not for me to see at this moment…it is for me to trust Him. Period. I haven’t trusted Him for the last few days. Forgive me Lord. I am a women clothed in strength and dignity and He is my security when everything else is saying He cannot possibly be in our life right now. The end of chapter seventeen is bolded hard with my blue pencil…my anger was poured forth as I recited “may my unseen enemy (satan) regret the day he set the crosshairs of his weapon on my life”!!! And your last sentence on chapter 18 was a slap in the face in that my girls, my teenagers, need to see me securely handle what satan has dealt us. Oh that I would have the strength of Job.
Thank you God. Thank you for giving Beth this message at this time. You knew this servant would need it. Help me embrace it…not this anger, not this circumstance which seems too big for me. You are bigger. You can prevail and I call upon You for just that.
Pamela, 46
Missouri
married, blended family
Hang in there Pamela – you wrote all the right words so, all you need to do is incorporate them into your heart. Blended families are a trial for anyone . . been there got the T-shirt, so I can empathize. You have what it takes to come through with blessings on the other side, Siesta mine!
1. My fear rates a 7 — I allow it way too often to stop me from doing the things in life that would allow me to truly live. I also let it waste precious time by entertaining the notions it oozes into my mind. The thing that most resonated with me was Psalm 112:7-8. These verses are the perfect weapon to combat fear — She will have no fear of bad news — I love this verse written specifically for this fear we allow to steal from us. I have put this verse in my arsenal!!!
2. This journey has opened my eyes to what insecurity is and where it comes from. It has reminded me of God’s promises and His truth. I have some new weapons in my arsenal against insecurity and the resolve to not let it steal any longer from me. The most important thing to me about this whole process is being able to recognize my insecurity and calling it out for what it is. Once I recognize it I can begin to speak God’s Truth over it and claim the victory in the name of Christ!!!
1. I have to say that I would probably be a 6-8… most of it was last year around this time. I was about to get married and my soon-to-be husband did not have a job… instead of being completely drowning in the love and excitement of our wedding (which I was, but not enough) instead I was drowning in fear of what was to come. What’s going to happen? Where will we live? We ended up living with my parents for 3 months! It was the hardest 3 months of my life… I felt like a failure, I did not feel like a wife… hello I was still living with my parents!! I was so insecure and I think it has robbed me of my joy as a newlywed. We’re about to hit our year anniversary (SO QUICK!) and I just want this next year of newlywed-ness to be COMPLETELY fear-free… I regret living the way I did and am so mad at myself for letting my insecurity get the best of me. GOD gave it to me. It is mine. You cannot have it!!!
2. I loved your statements in the last chapters of saying “God I trust you to…” but instead needing to say “GOD I TRUST YOU. PERIOD!” the end – no more worries no more fears. Whatever this world brings my way I am confident that you will see me through it no matter how hard! It’s so freeing to know that “I” don’t have to do it… God is in control!!!
Pat, age 49, Married, Wisconsin
Just need to say it one more time…THANK YOU for posting these questions! It means so much to me as I am sure it will to the ladies that I am using them with. I have sent out the first set of questions via e-mail to the ladies I am meeting with on Wednesday nights. I was so inspired to do this study even though I did not really choose it. Instead I feel it sort of chose me. I stumbled upon it quite by accident one night while looking for a sermon or teaching on line.
I was looking for any of your video lessons because I was in need of a word that would spark my heart again. that is how I came across this blog. When I began reading I saw the title and I must be honest, I did not think it was for me at all! I thought to myself. “I don’t need to read that book! I’m not insecure! Right?” (WRONG) The book and its title haunted me for days until I finally decided to be obedient and make a decision to go ahead and do the study.
As I began reading my eyes were opened and I realized how prideful and judgmental I was being about it. That is when I knew I really needed to take a step back and look inward at my reaction to the title. I asked myself some questions regarding my reaction. This lead me to be more honest with myself about my insecurities, especially those I did not realize existed. DUH!
Beth, you inspire me so much to seek the Lord with all my heart in every area of my life. It has been a long road and I have hit my share of roadblocks, not to mention setbacks, but deep inside I always knew the Lord was holding on to my heart. He has never let me go completely, even in the darkest of times.
My life parallels yours in many ways. Perhaps that is why I am able to relate so well to your writings, your story and your persona. Bless you my friend and sister in Christ. The Lord has been faithful and will continue to be faithful. I pray he continue to have his way in your heart and in the hearts of every person reading this blog. Amen.
I have let the ladies in our small group know that the questions come straight from the Author, which seems to have added an extra layer of depth to the study. Thanks again.
In Christ,
Pat
Mine is the biggest 10 you can imagine! Before my salvation I suffered from panic attacks for years (and even was agoraphobia for a season and wouldnt leave my house). Fear by far has been my worst enemy and my biggest battle. I have been set free little by little since my salvation ten years ago… but what a long haul it has been. I am still surprised God didn’t just throw His mighty hands up in the air and give up on me altogether. I still have a ways to go, I have a very active imagination that loves to think of every ‘what if’ scenario but even before I bought the SLI book, God was telling me it was time for them to go. He told me ‘what if’ didnt matter because He would be with me and in me at all times to see me through any ‘what if’ that came along. He didn’t bring me this far to leave me! The SLI book was beautiful timing and much confirmation! Thank you Beth!
I am just starting the book, I am on chapter 6 but have been following through the blog and doing the assignments that have been asked. I have already been blessed by this book so much and plan on blessing others with it as well. Just wanted to say thank you, although this is ending, for allowing me to be apart of this!
8 out of 10. Most relevant chapter, for me. My insecurities arise from imagining “worst case” scenarios. Not like, what if my husband left me,(because I was single before and I will survive as a single after). But more like, what if my girls get into an accident with a car while biking to school? Or, what if my husband (sole provider) has a heart attack? I really do at times zone out on the couch with my eyes glazed over and imagine ugly “what ifs”.
I’ve got a long way to go to overcome this gross waste of time. But I’m keeping your list in front of me, the “What will God do if . . . ? answers. God is always, has always, been faithful. Plus I’ve got two tween girls counting on me; I’ve got to improve, for their sake.
1. I place myself at 10 on the fear scale…well, I used to. What resonated the most with me was your retelling of the “conversation” with God about your worst fears and what would happen if they did, in fact, occur. I felt a sense of relief and a lighter load when I worked through that myself. Thank you for sharing that story! Fear has smothered me. I have not enjoyed all that God has blessed me with simply out of fear. NO MORE!
2. Never again will I sing “Better is One Day” in the same way! Why I never fully understood that I am His lovely dwelling place escapes me but I have felt so clothed in strength and dignity since making that connection! I am taking away a desire to plug in and feel life; to live it outside (despite?) of the fear!
Because of the work God is doing in me, through SLI, my family will be changed. I am determined to live life to the fullest and pass on a legacy of security to my precious son (2 years) and daughter (3 months). I know this doesn’t mean that life will be perfect; but while drowning in laundry and spit-up I will be well aware that I am doing so with purpose. Showing my children how to love God and truly live for him in the everyday; how could I ask for more?
Tamara
Kelowna, BC, Canada
late 20s, single
1) Fear’s control in my life = 8. I don’t think I’ve always realized what a significant role it has played in my life, but lately it’s been a journey to move beyond that. This chapter challenged me with making my trust in God unconditional. I put conditions of certain things happening or not happening in my life on my trust in God. But, I need to learn to trust Him no matter what – even if my greatest fear is realized.
2) My biggest take-away from this journey ties a lot into chapter 17 and the discussion on fear. I’ve been allowing fear to keep me from stepping out in what I know God has called me to. I’ve allowed insecurity about a speech impediment from childhood, that is no longer noticeable when I talk, to keep me from allowing God to use me. I see now the lies that kept me quiet and am taking next steps on the journey to letting God use me despite my fears and insecurities about my ability to do it.
Liz
Lubbock
married
40’s
1. i am going to say 8 ish. fear has played a pretty huge part of my life. a sweet gift i got from my mother. 🙂 but i turned a huge corner doing the esther study and dealing with my fears. you mentioned in chapter 17 as well. Yes, things WILL happen but God’s GRACE will meet you there when you need it! life changing for me as I have a son in southeast asia right now…(who just bought an electric scooter….seriously???)
2. i have really enjoyed this particular security journey. love that i am seeing women differently and not caring as much what people think about me. and that I can truly TRUST GOD PERIOD!
thank you for being obedient and doing something that I know must have been so difficult! thank you that you share your life and family with us!
Lately, my “fear number” would be 7-8. All of Chap. 17 resonated with me, but one (of many) of my favorites is p. 333 where you say the question we should ask is not “What will I do if…”, but “What will God do if…?” I plan to write the answers that you give (based on God’s answers) on index cards as a constant reminder!
As I finished reading Chap. 18 last night, I reflected on how much your book has reminded me of many things I knew and taught me things I didn’t. Your book has been such an inspiration and one of many steps God has used to help me “untangle myself from a yoke of bondage”. (Gal. 5:1). I am now telling myself everyday that I am clothed with strenth and dignity! Thank you for honesty, openness and transparency! God Bless You!!!
Patti, Kissimmee, FL, Married/40’s
Dear Beth:
I can’t thank you enough for writing SLI. I’ve known for years now that I was insecure but didn’t know what to do about it; I just figured it was just something I’d always be. God began working on my insecurity some time before I knew about your book coming out. Then one day I got the mail and there on the cover of the LifeWay mailing was your new book! I knew it was God continuing His work on me and thank God He is! I just moments ago finished the last pages of SLI. I am so thankful for your honesty and for sharing your passion with me. God is definitely in it (like you need me to tell you that LOL). I just want to share with you something God did in me/with me. Months ago when we first started practicing our Easter cantata music our director asked me if I would try the alto part in a duet/trio portion of a song. I thought I’d die because I would never ever consider singing into a mike. When people would say, “you should sing a solo” I’d always answer back “yeah, so low you can’t hear me”. Well this particular time God wouldn’t let me say no. I say God because I knew it wasn’t me agreeing to try it. I was so scared, shaking in my insecurity…what if I messed it all up and made a fool of myself! Well, long story short, God was faithful! I sang it not just once, but two more times on Easter Sunday with a full house. It was all God! I prayed and prayed about this and He showed Himself big time, just like He always does.
Anyway, thank you again for planting the seeds and showing the way. God used you and your book to do a mighty work in me (and I mean much more than just singing that song in church with a mike in my face- that’s just one little example). I know it’s all about Him and not about me.
Thank you for listening and for being there for us.
In Christ,
Kristin Berry
Moyock, NC
Dear Beth:
Although I have to admit that I am a little behind in my reading…only to Chapter 14…this book has completely flipped my perceptions of myself upside down!! I always thought that many of my now known insecurities were always passed off in my mind as “it’s just the way I am”…never even thinking that I could CHOOSE TO DO THINK, RESPOND, AND REACT DIFFERENTLY!!! It’s a hard habit to break…but one that needs to be broken…shattered and demolished.
The chapter about always striving to know and have the “plan” ie CONTROL… and your insight about God only letting me see as much as I can handle…and the fact that trying for more will always lead to misery was life altering for me!! My husband is a self employed builder…we have no financial security..the needing to know wears me out…because guess what…the only thing I need to know is that God is faithful, and will provide! But I am tempted to eat from the other tree every day..it is a struggle that feeds insecurity…and the insecurity feeds fear…..but this revelation really helped me more than I can say!
Drilling down into people to get to those things I think I need has always been a huge issue for me….I realize now that not drilling..and just letting the other person be authentic emotionally on their own terms will make my relationships better. Time to put the sledgehammer down!!:):) It only tires me out anyway.
As a teacher of middle schoolers, I have been thinking how important this topic is, especially for girls. If I would’ve learned some of these things earlier, I can’t imagine what a difference it would have made. ..I am throwing around the idea of writing a curriculum that would focus on this, and would love any insights that you would have about that. It is one of my passions to not let any child ever think that they are “less than”…no matter what their circumstance
To say thank you for having the courage to write this book simply does not feel adequate..but I need you to know that your teachings have changed my life..and God is greatly glorified through the work that you do. You are an amazing person, you’ve made me laugh, cry, and choose differently through the words of this book. I am looking forward to fininshing the book, and learning even more.
I just discovered the website blog and I have not read the book(yet) but I can tell you fear has ruled my life for a long time….umtil now. I was saved at a young age but as the child of the 70’s beign a christian was not top of the list… I married at the age of 23 after graduating from nursing school. I married a police officer who was not saved and thus began my life in fear. He was never physically abusive but boy did I feel worthless no good ugly fat stupid….and it goes on. I am divorced now for 10 years and now that I am done feeling sorry for myself I have renewed my faith and learned that God really did love me even when I felt he shouldn’t. I have also discovered Beth Moore and her wonderful words of encouragement and hope. Thank you I am now doing the Esther bible study and I love her! I love you too, and thank you so much. In the wonderful name of Jesus I thank you. Ann Wilkinson
I realized that I was living in a constant state of insecurity! Because of things that I had been through, I had no self-confidence and I was incredibly fearful! I refuse to allow it to continue! I AM CLOTHED IN STRENGTH AND DIGNITY!!!! I have circled that mountain long enough, I’m turning north! (Deut. 2:3)
The Lord has called me to do something that is impossible to do in my own strength! It is scary at times, but I will NOT shrink back!! I will NOT loose my confidence! (Heb. 10:35-39) I will press on and follow Him every step of the way, no matter how crazy or scary it may seem! THE ONE WHO HAS CALLED US IS FAITHFUL AND HE WILL DO IT!!!! (1 Thess. 5:24)
This morning I wrote a post about all the things that God is doing ~
http://www.leesarawood.blogspot.com/
He has taken me so far! I can’t wait to see what’s next! 🙂
Thank you, Beth! Thank you for not losing confidence! Thank you for not shrinking back!
Sorry I forgot my info ~
Sara, Married, late 20’s, Arkansas
1. 10+ I grew up with both of my parent in active alcoholism and the ‘ism’ not the alcohol has followed me for years after leaving their home. Fear has played a huge factor in rendering me ineffective for the kingdom of Christ not anymore though. I underlined practically the whole chapter my favorite parts were the scriptures that I get to memorize specifically for the purpose of recalling them when I think that I am about to give my security away.
2. The journey was long… and hard… but I know that God has brought me through it a stronger person for sticking it out. Thanks for being willing to share your life for the purpose of helping others. I have this great desire to share my testimony and have ever since I went to the living proof satellite broadcast last year. I haven’t done it I am praying for courage…
Married/thirtys/North Dakota
1. Fear: on a scale of 1-10 I’d have to say that, in the past, 10 for sure! I actually experienced what I would have considered to be my one of my worst fears come to fruition. It is because of this, and because of God’s amazing work during that time that I can say with confidence that I need not fear what’s on the other side. The other side has been full of redemption and healing and beauty.
2. Overall I take with me the wonderful reminder that my identity is in Jesus alone. He is what I will always go back to when those insecurities try to shove their way up front. I will rest at the feet of my precious Savior and know there I am loved and treasured and there I will find strength for whatever this earth has for me.
Praise Him!
Thank you Beth Moore. You precious servant of the King. It is always a pleasure to do business with you!!