Hey Everybody! I am so proud of you guys! Your discussions have been tremendous. I am especially happy that so many of you have jumped in with us late and gone back to the very beginning, signed in, and added your answers to the previous weeks of our book discussion. Way to go! As we moderate, we give the same attention to the comments on the older posts as the ones that are up-to-date. I promise you that community and active discussion will make your journey far more meaningful and hold you infinitely more accountable.
Ok, we’re about to get to a part of the book that I found highly interesting in research. The next several chapters involve the insights from the men’s survey and I bet a few of their comments will pop your eyes open, too. In the mix of what we have ahead, we’re going to be focusing on men-related insecurities then soon after that (in coming chapters) we’ll focus specifically on women-related insecurities. Each of us has a tendency to be less secure around one gender than the other and, according to the survey of over 900 of you, we’re almost evenly divided between the two. I pray we’re going to gain insight into some gender-related insecurities and stumble upon some much needed freedom. I really want you to read the portions about the men even if you don’t have a mate or a specific man in your life. If we have resistant, resentful hearts toward men, we can’t just avoid them altogether. They comprise the other half of our population so it really is imperative in our pursuit of wholeness that we get a grip.
Your assignment for this week is to read CHAPTERS 10 AND 11 and answer the following question:
1. Based on Chapter 10, in all truthfulness, has your historical tendency been to view men (generally speaking) as gods? Or devils?
2. Based on Chapter 10 and your own day-to-day observances, what differences do you see between men’s insecurities and women’s?
3. On p.208 in Chapter 11, I suggest that women who struggle with insecurity tend to be particularly taken with 2 divine attributes: omnipotence and omniscience. Did either of these resonate with you? If so, how?
We are liable to have some LIVELY conversation this week! I can’t wait to see it happen! Just one little thing I want to throw out there: some of you may have some pretty big hang-ups with men because you have a background of abuse like I do. If it plays heavily into one of your answers, by all means, share what pertains but I’ve learned along the way that it’s best to stop short of graphic descriptions. Most people have a hard time knowing what to do with those kinds of mental images. I’ve told every graphic detail in counseling situations but, publically, I try to stay general. It’s just too much for most listeners and readers. They have compassion but they just don’t have the answers. We know Who does.
Go for it, Girls! I’m so honored to take this journey with you.
WisGalinOkee 
Ok, good morning!
Once again — I thanked God and you for writing this book for me.
Once again — I thanked God and you for writng this book for me.
Once again — I thanked God and you, Beth, for writing this book for me.
Once again — I thanked God and you for writing this book for me and my family.
Once again — I thanked God and you for writing this book for me and my husband.
Once again — I thanked God and you for writing this book for me, my family, my husband, and my son.
Lord — if I could write it as many times as I really FEEL need to be stated – I would be here until next Thursday when I would be 'kicked' off the computer!!
I just can't say it enough — words of thank you — JUST DON'T CUT it — but, I know you know my heart and you understand that.
Lord, thank you!
Michelle
Ok, Dear Beth,
Here is my assignment:
1. Gods or Devils:
Powerful chapter. I would say that men have been gods rather than devils and as I finished the chapter, I had to go BACK and read the prayer in Chapter 9 again.
BTW – I have had to do that several times. I want to ask – Is that OK? Does it mean I am messing up somewhere? But, in my spirit I am thinking — no – I can hear you say, 'girl, pray that prayer over and over until it sticks' — 'go ahead, fall asleep with it over your head'. Yes, really – I have felt the need to memorize it (old Catholic girl here) and well — like I stated, men had/have/ are still gods to me and so therefore, I am going to use scripture and prayer to get that in the right perspective. Amen.
The 'walking like trees' methphor or illustration was profound. WHOA. After reading this chapter, I felt only particially healed or with an understanding and I want the WHOLE thing now. ALL of HIM.
2. What insecurties do I have in commen with me – all of them.
I mean the letters you shared, I circled about 5 of them — as I could of written those myself – just changed the gender.
But that was the cool thing, as I was making a 'god' out of my husband this am, but reading this it became so clear "some knowledge" was gained — if I am similar in my securities — then perhaps my man is having the same insecurities as well. Compassion took over rather than anger! Wow!
AND I bolded and highlighted page 201 — I need to STARE at the face of Christ more through the lens of Scripture and I know I will begin to see things more clearly.
3. First off, your opening statement on Chapter 11 — never let anyone tell you that sustainable victory in this flesh-and blood existence is not possible breathed life into me. Period.
Ok – omipotence and omniscience:
Omipotence rang TRUE to me — again, this book was written for me. However, I had NEVER considered Omniscience and oh – how God has shown me and given me life illustrations about that. Whoa. Wow. I am speachless when I see how much he loves me so — and allowed me those situations to UNDERSTAND this chapter and in THIS time. Again – he is BIG!
Ok, must wrap this up. I am excited about the next assignment.
I enjoy reading it on your time table — it gives me time to meditate and ponder and allow the healing process to take effect before moving to the next big of knowledge — from the RIGHT tree.
Michelle
40's
married
Okeechobee, Florida
Dear Beth,
on page 211 you humbly shared and I so could relate. But you stated that the good side of it — "was that your man has loved you and spent his adult life with you"
but, what if your man, now after 28 some years says, "I am not sure if I ever really loved you, but felt I was suppose to love you?"
I wrote you out an email in the margin of that page and as I wrote it — I knew I could find some scripture to battle those feelings of 'not being loved' — but then what if he really was just too immature to speak his mind when we were 21 — ???
Then I find myself knowing — we were married by God in God's house and we made a committment. At that time we committed. Period. Right? So, therefore GOD can restore this. Period.
I just have to wait and let HIM do the work?
Right? Right.
Guess I answered my own question. Thanks
Michelle
Okeechobee, Florida
1.) In all truthfulness my historical hx. has been to view men as Gods. Allowing their opinion to be the ultimate decision wether it was biblically wrong or not.
2.)I was shocked to see that men deal with much of the same insecurities as women. From my own day-to-day observations, their insecurites seem to lie in respect (provider, spiritual leader, etc.)
3.)Omnipotence(all-power) & Omniscience(ability to know it all & see it all) both resonated with me.
Esp. the part you stated about feeling most secure when our environment is in control, & since no one is able to control it to our satisfaction we decide we have to ourselves. I think that's a root of feeling unstable. I cant tell you the times I've tried to push my husband or my son to that "happy place". I love what you said that @ the end of the day people do what they want to do & you can't make them do something else, change them, or deliver them. That's why He's OMNIPOTENT & we're not.
The bigger one for me out of the 2seems to be OMNISCIENCE though.
Oh, Lord please deliver me from wanting to see what only God can see & know about things.
I love this prayer that another blogger left & I'm memorizing it & praying it daily…
"Lord, help me to see what I need to know, know what YOU need for me to know, & trust the unknown to your Sovereign Love. Only You are Omniscience."
Monica
NY.
Colossians 2:2-3
Amber
Dallas
30's/married
1. Probably 70/30, devils/gods. Devils for their sin struggles and gods in amazement of how they're seemingly capable of insulating themselves from emotions and pain. It's a miracle I'm married!
2. Men tend to internalize their struggle with insecurity, instead of the dog and pony show I'm prone to host – announcing my insecurities to the world!
3. Omnipotence. I laughed out loud about shoving Keith to his happy place, read it to my husband and he almost spewed his Route 44 Cherry Limeade. Thank you for sharing this! We just recently had a "discussion" about how our spiritual walks look differently. Why is it I'm fine with his friendships/relationships looking differently than mine, but I expect his relationship with God to look exactly like mine?! Love my man for the way God created him!
Beth, though I have been reading from the beginning and keeping pace with your assignments, this is the first opportunity I have had to respond.
1. Growing up and well into my twenties, men were gods to me. But in my late 20's, within a span of less than 5 years, my husband left me in my 9th month of pregnancy, 3 of my friends' husbands were unfaithful (2 of their marriages ended in divorce), and my parents separated for 2 years due to my father's unfaithfulness. In the midst of all that, my grandfather, who I idolized, passed away. I believe my view of men began to change as a result of all these occurrences. I did not realize it at the time, but I began to operate in response to the lie that "I need to take care of myself" because I couldn't trust a man to take care of me. This was a subtle shift from believing the lie that the right man could give me the perfect life.
When I married my 2nd and current husband (24 years by the grace of God!), I believe it was my last-ditch effort to give a man the chance to be my prince charming. Unfortunately, he had lots of baggage (and yes, baggage attracts baggage!), lots of anger and control issues. The result of my failed attempts to "change" my husband was that he became my enemy, the devil.
"But our battle is not against flesh and blood…"
2. The insecurities are surprisingly similar. I think men may do a better job of masking their insecurities — well, until now. Beth, you've given us lots of insight into how men manifest their insecurities. One of your other commenters noted how men at a certain place of employment were driving new BMW's after receiving bonuses. My husband complained for many years that he had "nothing to show" for all his hard work. Our youngest son is graduating college this spring and my husband recently purchased his first brand new truck. I haven't seen him this happy in a long time. When are we going to stop basing our self-worth on our bank account, material possessions, physical appearance, and our perception of what other people think of us?! Honestly, I am SICK of caring what anyone thinks of me.
"O Lord, You have searched me and You know me…"
3. Definitely omniscience. Beth, I love your story of the friend who had "eaten from the tree of the knowledge of good and evil." I recently went through a season of being so angry at God for not letting me in on all the details, for not giving me answers to my questions. Oh, I demanded. I sulked. I begged. I became so frustrated I couldn't see straight. I wrestled with God until He brought me to the point of confessing to know for certain only this: I KNOW that my Redeemer lives. I had to be willing to let the rest go, to trust my Father God as the source of all wisdom and knowledge, and trust that He knows what I need to know, when I need to know it. Exercising faith in God isn't easy, but it always results in blessings for me and glory for God. Knowing He wants to protect me by NOT telling me everything makes me love Him so much!
Terry
Louisa, VA
married
50's
Beth,
I finished the book about two weeks ago, and have already loaned it to my cousin, but I've gotta tell you, when I read these chapters I spent a good 5 minutes just…blink…blinking…at the page. My insecurity manifests itself right into being a control freak, and ladies do you know that I actually never considered that my "encouragement" was nagging?!? Of course, as soon as I read it God spoke truth to me and I saw it for what it actually is. I'm a total nag, girls! I have a yummy husband, who probably deserves a trophy for patience, and who I've judged pretty harshly for 13 years.
These chapters were really about ME! They opened my eyes and my man got a big, sloppy apology from his wife. I've got a ways to go, but I'm allowing the work to begin now. My father was unfaithful to my mom within seven years of their marriage, and while she stuck it out and they now have a great marriage (they've been married 55 years), I can definitely see how that act affected our entire family and has even affected my own family all these years. I'm believing God in that I can be fully healed, and He can restore us all to completeness.
I viewed men as devils. I saw them as self serving, hedonistic and overbearing. I responded to that "view" by becoming someone that they would NEVER run over, control, or use. Unfortunately, I saw the man God gave me the same way and frankly, he just flat deserves better. David, my hubby, is gentle, kind and loving. God is good and I see Christ in my husband on a regular basis. He's our prayer warrior and right now, he's praying for his wife. Can anything really be more powerful than knowing your husband adores you, prays for you and is willing to show you the love of Christ? My insecurity is now in the light, and darkness has no place there. I'm humbled, and for the first time in my life, that doesn't just scare me senseless.
I have two beautiful sons, along with two precious daughters, and my prayers and petitions right now are that we will break this chain in our lives. My boys will not ask, "Am I a "real" man?" They will ask themselves, "Am I a man of God?".
Blessings you awesome siestas! And to our siesta momma: You are loved and appreciated as an obedient sister in Christ. Our family is praying for each and every one of us!
Dear Beth and my dear Siestas,
For decades I have battled this monster called insecurity….in spite of experiencing a very blessed life and a walk with God since I was a young child. Even as a child the enemy started his assault on who God made me to be with a bombardment of lies that I would never measure up or be good enough to really make a difference. Some days I can’t remember what I did last week, but I recall the events that happened 40 years ago that told me I was “not good enough” as if they happened 2 minutes ago. I also have a recent history of the enemy’s assault that just about completely destroyed me. But I am ready to move on to victory.
Today I just prayed and cried through the prayer in chapter 8. It IS time to win this battle! “I desperately need and want to be delivered from my chronic insecurity. I am ready to discover what it means to be truly secure. I am willing to do whatever it takes to be free and to allow You to do through me what I cannot do for myself…You know how my feelings frighten me and how the enemy of my soul would have me believe that I will never be okay. Make a liar our of him, Lord. Do no let him win. Do not let loss win. Be my gain, Lord. Flood my life with purpose and compassion. Be my strength in weakness.” Your prayer has truly expressed my heart so well.
No doubt the prayer of chapter 8 will be kept within reach and I will need to pray it again and again…. But I am SO ready to walk in His power and His victory – in the mighty and beautiful Name of Jesus…..amen.
1. I think I've probably considered them both as various times and depending on the man. As I am healing I am "seeing more clearly," and fairly when it comes to men.
2. Differences in men and women's insecurities: men are afraid of failure, "Do I have what it takes to be a man?" ; women are afraid of not mattering- of not being desirable and loved (as daughters, wives, mothers, co-workers, ect.)
3. I think I've done a bit of both of these at one time or another again depending on the man: but more often trying to play "god" in their lives, after all I just "want what's best, right?" Really I just want my needs met and to have someone in my life to love me; when God intended that we are to "serve" one another. You can only serve another when you know who you are inside first; as Christians, we have to be God's secure woman first to honestly serve our husbands and other men in our lives to love them with the beauty God's given us and to pour that out unselfishly to others.
These chapters were good reminders about what I can get into if I don't stay closely grounded to God.
Happy Week everyone!
Amanda
40's
divorced
Olive Branch, MS
1. Definitely seasons of both. I can remember times when men were gods, and then, after being hurt or disappointed, they become devils for awhile. Eventually, that cycle would work its way back to men being gods, and so on. Right now, thankfully, I am at a place where men are people, no better than me, no worse than me, imperfect like me, and needing the Lord just as I do. And that takes me to question #2!
2. I think we share some similar insecurities, men and women, but I also believe men and women have insecurities unique to their gender. I think Chapter 10 highlighted that sameness and difference perfectly! The older I get, the more I recognize that men really do have it rough these days. Has anyone else noticed, for example, on tv shows? Men are often depicted as clueless, brainless, spineless, or heartless. In many sitcoms, the women have it together, and the men are a complete mess. It makes me hurt for the guys out there, because, while the media has certainly been unkind to women, what has it given the men to live up to?
One Valentine’s Day, I was invited to a party for a group of my single girlfriends. Some of it was a lot of fun, but eventually, the fun turned into male bashing. While I believe there is a time and a place to ‘vent,’ this situation took it to a new extreme, full of “All guys are idiots/jerks/lame/morons/losers/etc.” I wasn’t hearing hurt and disappointment in my friends’ voices, I was hearing bitterness and anger. I have been deeply hurt by a few men in my lifetime, some in my family who should have protected me and cherished me instead of hurting me. I have had my heart smashed a time or two. But do I believe all men are heartless, cruel, tyrants out to demean and use women? No way. Yes, men can be jerks, but so can women. That all being said, I worry for men, just as I worry for us females. Life is tough, and society can be cruel. We all are in desperate need of grace.
3. Yep, both hit home with me!
Loving this study and this amazing community!
Michelle in TN
30s and single
(To Anonymous: To my husband)
Oh sweet girl, woman, child of God. I'm with the rest of your sisters, I just want to find you and hug you and tell you you're not alone. There is love here. There is hope and acceptance and freedom here. I'd like to be a part of that for you.
Recently, I began writing out prayers for my husband for all the different areas of his life, heart, mind. I would take one area at a time and search the Word and write prayers that are 99% scripture. These are not super tailored to my husband specifically so they work for anyone. I feel like, no, I know, praying this way for your man will bring freedom TO YOU. And by God's mercy, to him. If you're interested I could email these to you so you can use them in your arsenal. 🙂 Email me if you'd like. I don't have them typed out yet, but have been meaning to do so for others who would benefit. I would be honored to do this for you.
[email protected]
Much love to you sweet sister.
Christine
Sunday, March 21, 2010
So Long Insecurity, Week 6
1. Based on Chapter 10, in all truthfulness, has your historical tendency been to view men (generally speaking) as gods? Or devils?
This was easy and the truth does make me feel ashamed. I often view them as devils. Then, once I am in a relationship I tend to give them god-like. That is a standard they can't live up.
2. Based on Chapter 10 and your own day-to-day observances, what differences do you see between men’s insecurities and women’s?
Men desire to be the providers. Often, when they fail at this (maybe it is an actual "failure" or perhaps it is only in their head), they retreat, they become afraid and withdrawn. They fail to see all they truly have to offer, and instead, only see the perceived failure. For example, a man who looses his job may be the most amazing dad, yet, if he is jobless, he tends to only see himself as unemployed. Yet, the job does not make the man. Women are more focused on their looks, and their ability to turn heads. Come on girls, let's face it, we like it when a man notices us. We may have an amazing job, be the best wife/mom, best daughter, but if we do not consider ourselves attractive, we will only see our outer beauty as being less than desirable.
3. On p.208 in Chapter 11, I suggest that women who struggle with insecurity tend to be particularly taken with 2 divine attributes: omnipotence and omniscience. Did either of these resonate with you? If so, how?
Omniscience. I think for me, I struggle with the desire to "fix things!" Boy, do I wish I could play God on many occasions. . .Yet, deep down I do realize that my God's plans are far better than anything I could come up with. His plans are always perfect.
single
30 from NC.
I just have to share this story… I have been very intentional from the beginning about leaving the book jacket on while I read and not being "mindful" of what the title says…
That being said, I took the book with me to a Dr appointment so I could get caught up while in the waiting room. Well, when the nurse called me back she had me step up on the scale right away. Sigh. Nothing like the wretched scale to test your security level! So I set the book down on the counter beside the scale with my purse and gave it a wink-n-nod while I stood there so she could slide the marker along… Sigh. So if that's not enough, I turn around to step off said torture device and she immediately swoops a thermometer into my mouth, catching me off guard. So when the machine beeps and she pulls the probe out of my mouth, you guessed it, my gum is attached to the plastic cover. She looks at me like, ummmm???? So I just smile & say "Go ahead and throw it away". I mean, it's Extra spearmint, the fluorescent green kind. Not one that hides easily.
Nothing like having you smiling at me via my book cover for that entire scenario!! Thank you Momma Beth 🙂
1. Hmmm…growing up with three brothers, I would have to say "devils"…although that is a little harsh! I think growing up so close to my brothers, I saw first hand how hard they had it – as hard as girls, just in different ways, as they tried to prove themselves.
2. I think that I find men trying to prove themselves and struggling with their insecurity in what they "do" or don't do…their job, their achievements, their status… Women I find struggle more in relation to their being vs. their doing. How they look, their relationship with others – either men or women.
3. This section so reminded me of Lucy from the Chronicles of Narnia series — there is a great exchange between she and Aslan, where she finds a magical book and is able to peer in on her friends conversations about her – against the advice of Aslan — and she is tainted by the truth of that… affirming some of her appetite for knowledge, didn't bring her power or happiness, but a sense that she wished she hadn't looked and didn't "know". That visual and allegory of Aslan's wisdom has stuck with me over the years. And I TRY TRY TRY to let God be God as he is really the only one that can handle knowing everything.
Shawna
single
30's
WA
1) Generally speaking, I have viewed men as gods. I always wanted a big brother to blaze the trail for me. And I totally fell for the "my prince is coming" fairy tale. My husband did fill that to some degree and he has helped me be more secure in a lot of ways. But I also put him up on a pedistal and depended on him too much. I soon realized he is falable just like me. I love him and respect him, but he is not a god to me.
2) I agree that every month we have a reminder that we are women. Our insecurities are found in what kind of woman that is. Men need affirmation of their manhood in different ways.
3) I'm not one to control everyone, but the one who threatens my security brings it out in me. And yes, in that situation I would control lots of things if I could. And I wanted to know what she said and what she did so I had more ammunition.
I have struggled with insecurity in my marriage because I asked details about my husbands first engagement. How do I compare? Am I desireable? Knowledge can get us in trouble. Thanks for pointing that out!
Shelly
married
30's
Texas
1. I have never thought about men as being either gods or devils, but sometimes the same ones can morph into the other!
2. Men fearing they are not real men was an eye-opener for me. They at least seem to be more "other-focused" in their insecurities than women. Its all about us….
how we look, how we feel, how we enter a room…
3. Oh yes, this really hit me. I am masquerading as omniscient and my husband accuses me of trying to be his personal Holy Spirit..there to convict and convince him.
married, 60's, southern
1. Men as gods. I thought (more so in my younger days) they held the key to security.
2. I think men are more insecure in anything that threatens their masculinity but also there is much insecurity surrounding their abilities and accomplishments.
3. I admit I've probably used both attributes of omnipotence and omniscience in my insecurity. Control has been an issue. My Bible study group is going through your "John Beloved Disciple" and we just listened to your tape where you're holding the dog collar and leash in your hand and you point out there's no head in that collar when you thought there was one. I just think I have control but I don't. It always causes conflict and my husband won't give in to it so why I keep trying to obtain it I don't know. I have gotten better as I have aged but it can still rear its ugly head.
50's
married
Lawrenceville GA
Heather
Pottstown, Pa
20's
Divorced/Engaged
1) In all truthfulness, I can honestly say I haven't had a historical tendency to view men as gods or devils. Maybe those thoughts are just suppressed??
2) Men seem to keep their insecurities inside and not talk about or admit they have any. Women tend to be more open and let their insecurities show, whether in the moment, or with girl friends at a later time.
3)I felt more able to relate to omniscience. I laughed through this section of the book (at myself!) because I have done those things mentioned. I have asked my fiance several questions regarding his ex-wife, just later to find myself regretting it! One question in particular is "Did you guys sleep in same bed you still have?" The answer was yes, and then I was like "oh…that's kinda weird". I was a little freaked out by that. However, after reading this chapter, I have been enlightened and God has opened my eyes to not press so much for info that I really don't want to hear.
Thanks Beth!!
Heather
Tallahassee, FL
30s
Married
Historically I have viewed men more like gods. I grew up in a home of very strong men. When something broke they fixed it, when something was wrong they set it right. I have a tendency to put that same god-like behavior on my husband – but those men in my life weren't perfect or gods and I can't put that kind of pressure on my man and expect him to excel.
I believe men and women's insecurities come from the same place –but the one difference that got most of my attention was man's insecurity about owning up to being what he already is — a man.
I am particularly taken with omnipotence. I have spent the better part of my almost nine year marriage trying to control my husband. I laughed out loud at your confession with trying to control your man. I have done those EXACT same things and thankfully I too have a man who refuses to be controlled. Just recently I realized that God knows him better than I do so I should just leave him for God and stop the frustrating madness of trying to "fix" him myself. Lord knows I have enough problems of my own to worry about. LOL!
ok.. i'm not ready to post my answers yet to cpts 10 and 11 (haven't read the cpts yet) but i just needed to come on here and ask for some prayer. i feel the need to stay anonymous on this one, but i just found out yesterday that my husband has been (still) looking at pornography and has been lying about it to me. we're close to celebrating our 4th anniversary and he had struggled with this before we were first married and a couple of times afterwards but i've asked him multiple times since then and he's been lying pretty much the whole time. i feel like a naive fool. of course he still struggles! how dumb to think he wouldn't. but i guess i just wanted to really believe it was possible that he had overcome it. this hurts so deeply, as i KNOW many of you other women can relate with, and i just don't know if my heart can stay alive to him right now. if i shut him out, i know that doesn't help, but if i just go on like it's not happening, i'm gonna lose my mind. what to do with the pain?? i'm afraid we'll never be free of this and never experience the kind of intimacy and purity in marriage i've always longed for. never have i so appreciated or needed to know that God is pure unadulterated light and has no dark side because it feels like my husband does. i know i'm sinful too.. anyway.. don't mean to ramble on, just asking if you could pray for this 25 yr old girl with a broken heart. we've already been dealing with his angry outbursts and physical violence.. don't know that my heart can handle much more but i love my husband and want just to be with him. please God, do a miracle in us. every insecurity is tripped right now and i think i'm a breakdown waiting to happen. guess God might be getting me ready for something He wants to say in cpts. 10 and 11??
its HARD to be a woman on this terrestrial sod.
love all you other precious ladies trying to hold onto dignity in a broken sin-sick world
20s
married
Lanaya in FL
Married 10 years
30 years old
1. Tend to view men as gods. Definitely lift them on a pedestal and then blame them for falling off!
2. I'm not so sure of the differences btwn men and women's insecurities based on my experience. The men in the lives of both play such a huge role. If the dad was not good for them, it affected both men and women tremendously. But from the book, I gathered that men are usually insecure about being a man (do they measure up as a man) and women are insecure about aspects of womanhood (being pretty enough, etc).
3. Both omnipotence and omniscience resonated with me. I've tried to be both. 🙂 I have a hard time not controlling my children. And I've tried to get too much information from my husband which was not good for me. And it was kind of pathetic! I would hate for him to know the things I think about him sometimes, so why would I want to know his every wakening thought?
1.Do you see men as(generally speaking) as gods? Or devils?
I don't really see them as either. Maybe it's because I grew up with 7brothers and no sisters that I get where they are coming from and can relate to them easily. I'll just give God the credit for that right here.
2. What differences do you see between men’s insecurities and women’s?
Men's seem to be tied to men and women's are tied to men, women and the culture.
3. In Chapter 11, Did either of these (omnipotence and omniscience) resonate with you? If so, how?
I've had moments where I fit into both categories. I can see the omnipotence one when I tear my husband down in front of others, usually using sarcasm as the vehicle. When acting omniscient, it comes out as back seat driving and other controlling remarks. I do pray often that God will help me see those things and nip them before I say them. I also ask my husband to tell me what things i say that bother him so I won't repeat them. Back seat driving is a big one for him.
Linda
married
40's
I am late into the study however I have read the book so I hope it is ok to start here. 🙂
hisbygrace
Single
early 30's
I see men as both devils, not all men but when I first meet any I do. I don't trust men very easily at all therefore I am very suspcious of them. I am in my early 30's and have never been in a relationship with a guy for just this reason I suppose. Not that I don't want that but the fear has always won out.
I think men have insecuties just as we do but in different areas. We all are human and all have issues.
Omnipotence is the one I deal with most, I want to KNOWWW. It is so hard for me, especially when it comes to relationships, I want to know that I am ok with that person etc.
I am very thankful for this book Beth. I have learned so much about myself and have also learned that I am not a nutjob, other people have these issues, I am not alone.
Blessings!!!
1) Having been hurt, I find it difficult to trust men. I am always wondering what the hidden motivation is behind every word and action.
2) Men's insecurities seem to focus more on finances whereas women's insecurities focus on who they are as people.
3) Omniscience definitely resonated with me since I have been guilty of desiring too much information and digging and nagging to get it. I have done this with my husband and at work. It never makes me happier when I find out a little bit of gossip or inside information. It only causes more worry. I have been much happier this year after deciding that if it isn't my business then I am not going to get involved. It's so freeing! It's exactly the point you made at the top of page 221, "If we want to become secure women of God, we must stop asking questions we can't handle the answers to."
Angie, 30's
SD, married
Chapter 10 was a "light bulb" moment for me with the story of the blind man and the healing touch with the DNA of Jesus, mixed in with the soil of earth. I read it over and over and just chewed on it's goodness, just couldn't get it out of my mind. Sure enough, this morning in our Ladies Class a suffering woman cried out for the healing touch of Jesus. Jesus, the same, yesterday, today and forever. He came. He touched. She saw men like trees walking, and then she looked up! An incredible moment. In our worship this morning, we sang with loud voices "He touched me!" The backdrop pic on the video screen was Jesus touching the eyes of the blind man! All we ladies marvelled. Only Jesus…only Jesus. He saves, He heals, He hears. Oh yes! God came, He showed up and showed off….amazing grace.
1. My heart has viewed men as gods and my head has viewed men as devils.
2. Men's insecurities to me seem to deal with prowess and strength and ability to provide, while women's insecurities seem to me to revolve around the million variables of self-image and control issues.
3. Where I've gone wrong is trying to play Holy Spirit to my husband. It doesn't work. Period. I am not his Messiah, or anyone else's for that matter.
Incredible work Beth, to His glory!
Lovingly,
Pam H.
married
60's
These questions are sooooo thought provoking, I've had to chew on them for a few days. 🙂
1. I think until I was married I saw men as gods. Growing up, I didn't have the best relationship with my dad, and therefore I felt I "needed" a relationship or a boyfriend to be happy. Then, when I got married, I just took on a whole new set of problems. LOL!
2. I totally agree with your assessment in the differences between men and women's insecurities. We can be so clingy, can't we?!?! Ugggg…that was very much me back in my dating days! And even still, I have to battle the thoughts that if he's down or he's upset it's automatically because of me.
3. Definitely omniscience. Definitely. In the past few years, God has been showing me this already…but I still have that thought in my head when I hear someone talking or see someone upset…thinking I *need* to know what's going on. So I can help of course. LOL!! I do have the gift of mercy, but God has shown me (through a difficult church situation) that sometimes when you know "too much" it really ends up hurting you in the end.I am one of those who just does NOT need to know…I've lost too many nights of sleep over juicy details that I never needed to know in the first place!! Hallelujah that He is healing me of this!!
Praying for you siestas!! 🙂
Candace
33yrs
Jefferson City, TN
Jaime
30s
Married
Colorado
Praise God! It's not Leukemia! She is being diagnosed with autoimmune hemolytic anemia as a result of an infection. It shouldn't be a chronic autoimmune condition but should die out with the infection.
Yay! The nurse today said that my daughter should get a birthday do-over. Hopefully she'll be able to do that soon, as the doc thinks she should start feeling better in the next few days.
Pat in Kiel WI, 40s almost 50. Got a small group of women and we plan to start this book study soon. I am so enjoying the blog questions and intend to use your weekly assignments for our study. Thanks so much for taking the time to post this. 🙂 blessings
40, married in Louisiana
1. Mostly I have viewed them as Gods, especially my dad. It was a huge let-down in my 30's to realize that he is human and makes mistakes. Maybe that will help me realize that I don't have to be perfect either:)
3. Mostly resonated with omnipotence. I definitely have a need (sometimes subconsciously…see, I'm already trying to hide it!) to control certain things about people. I have strong opinions on certain subjects and find myself going off on lectures with people. The way I know that I must have the need to control, is that I find myself upset, angry or irritated when people don't take my advice. I know I need to accept that, just like Beth said, I can't control other people! I know I need to stop looking to others to validate me and look to the Lord.
Blaire
30s
Topeka, KS
Married
1. Mostly as devils.
Although there was some "gods" going on too.
2. Men keep their insecurities hidden more than women do. Men deal with their insecurities by withdrawing, while women tend to cling.
Fear of failing as a provider and failure to prove himself to be a man are the top two insecurities for men. Men can be insecure about whether or not they are a "man", but women don't tend to be insecure about whether or not they are a "woman".
3. Omnipotence – I am a recovering control freak. There are situations and people in my life that I have tried to control for years, to no avail. God has been sending me the message that I can't control them and need to stop trying. I have had periods where I do really well with this, and feel a lot more peaceful. But the temptation to fall back into that unhealthy mode is so strong at times. I feel like a switch in me can be turned the other way in an instant, and all the progress I had made disappears. I just have to keep on looking up to my Savior and press on.
I appreciated reading the need to control is directed towards those who have the most potential to either threaten or strengthn my security. That was eye-opening, as I look back over my life and see who I have tried to control.
I felt that I was obligated to help these people, and if I didn't try to help, it meant that I didn't love them or care. Now I see that in actuality, I wanted to help them be ok, because "something was in it for me". That something was security that my loved ones were happy, and therefore I could be happy. Instead, I should have been looking only to Christ for my total security.
I also have people who constantly try to control me. Reading this chapter helps me understand more why they are doing this.
Katie
My last chance to say this: 20's
Knoxville, TN
1. I'm thinking that I must view men on a personal level and not in general because I can neither say devils nor gods.
2. I just found out tonight after reading Ch. 10 that men have insecurities. I have to swallow this. I truly didn't ever think they did! That's what I get for thinking!
3. I totally cracked up at what you had to say about a woman's insecurity bringing out the control freak in her because that is so me. But then again I'm also the person who needs omniscience. The really cool part to me is that now that I realize it, and can see why I do that, I have hope that I will be a different person now.
Several women have posted about how their security is tied to their husband's moods. Mine too. I think it is normal in a since, but I really think this is something we can all work on now that we realize that we can't find our security in them. I'm feeling more secure already!
Kim
40's
Married 22 years
1- I think I've experienced men as both gods and devils—but mostly I view men as gods.
2- I have always been too wrapped up in my own insecurity to realize that men suffer insecurities as well. They always seem so strong, self-assured and occassionally clueless to me—apparently that's why I also view them as gods 🙂
3-Both resonated with me. I have tried to control all the people in my life at one time or another "for their own good", b/c "I know what is best for them" AND I have also sought to know every detail of whatever situation I am trying to control—often this knowledge makes me feel the need to control the person even more.
Dear Anonymous
20s
married
March 21, 2010 4:53 PM,
I have been where you are. There is hope and healing for you both. I reccommend a book for your hubby called The War Within: Gaining Victory in the Battle for Sexual Purity ~ Robert Daniels. This book really helped my husband. I often wanted my husband to go to counseling. He refused. One thing that helped him was being able to confess to another man. But, truthfully I now see it was his way of dealing with his own insecurities from his past and our lives together. You can ask him to share when he is feeling insecure if possible so that the two of you can work it out together. He needs to let you know what his needs are and you need to believe him. I have often not taken my husbands needs seriously…like the need to feel desired or wanted by me.
When you wrote the words "physical violence" my heart lurched. I grew up in home with physical violence and have repeated mildly some of those patterns with my children. Physical violence can not be ignored. It cannot be overlooked. I will pray for the wisdom only God can give you both.
There is hope with the Lord. He can bring beauty from the ashes. He sees and know you both. Know that you are loved beyond measure and you are valuable and worthy of love. I know how much you love your husband even when it hurts. You will be in my prayers. I'll call you Thibby because that is the word I had to type in the verification section 🙂
I'm posting anonymous to cover over my loved one too.
Trying to work through this book but it's painful! Finding myself pulling away from friends and it doesn't help my insecurity that they don't seem to care. So sad. Trying to be secure in Him but falling miserably.
1. Throughout my life I have primarily seen men as gods. I put a lot of pressure on my husband in the early years of marriage to "complete me" and be my everything. Wow! If only I would have known what that was doing to him. I am so grateful that Beth has written this book so that young women can learn this much sooner than I did!
2. It seems to me that men have insecurities that are more related to how their "manhood" affects those they care about, like being the provider for the family or a good father. Women seem to struggle more with things that are, dare I say more selfish, like aging, weight, and appearance.
3. I have struggled with both omnipotence and omniscience. Going through a rough time with my daughter's eating disorder when she was in high school cured me of omnipotence in relationships. When I tried to control it, she got worse. When I finally gave it completely to the Lord, He provided a team of professionals and resources to accomplish His complete healing. To God's glory, she is completely well and happy now. I saw a miracle of God first-hand when I gave up control. However, the omniscience is a different story. I always want to know everything! Yes, I have eaten from the tree of the Knowledge of Good and Evil as well. Knowing things I shouldn't know can be a burden just to heavy to bear. What really resonated with me is that when God reveals what He wants us to know, it comes with His grace and power to deal with it. When I pursue knowledge he doesn't want me to have, it destroys me. This is HUGE for me, and I am totally going to change because of this revelation. Thank you Beth, and praise You, Jesus!
Sheryl
Married
49
WOW! These two chapters were so enlightening- they hit at the heart of the way I have been living my life. I felt a great need to go back to the confession part of ch 9 and add to the list. thank you Lord for opening my eyes to the truth. here goes the answers to the questions.
1. I have expected men to behave as gods and treated them as devils when they did not meet my expectation. ouch.
2. As women we seem to let our insecurities hang out in full view – for example, we(I) tend to confront others about what they are doing or saying when it touches my insecurity. Men, at least the ones i work with, often have a certain amount of bravado they display when their insecurity is touched. On the other hand,others withdraw completely – both verbally and physically.
3. I have practiced to a great degree both omnipotence and omscience. I have learned more than I needed to know and couldn't handle it and then tried to control my husband. I started by going through a time with my head in the sand – too spiritual to see the issues in our marriage. When i finally saw the issues, I went immediately to omniscience and omnipotence – thinking it was my responsibility (alone) to fix the problems. I never understood what either piece looked like until now. This chapter was surely taken from my life. Lord please forgive me, help me to change; to walk in the freedom that you have given me.
Thank you for writing this book. It came at exactly the right time.
Marcia/Portland, OR/50s/married.
1. This was such an interesting chapter – one that was definitely true and yet embarassing as a woman (just that we are so capapble of these vices — but HELLO… has anyone ever watched a soap opera — I am CONVINCED that the more I watched those (like when I was in college) the more I was in the category of believing that men were the devil. I wouldn't have recognized it as such – but what I DID recognize was that my life tended to wreek more unnecessary DRAMA when I watched those shows so closely. It was as if I was "got off" on their "lives" (fake lives mind you – but something sucked me in to keep watching it time and time again) and so I almost bought into the way they were painting life. (although I didn't have any long, drawn out dramatic pauses in my conversations — LOL!!!)
Anyway – so ultimately, I think that I mainly view men as gods because I view women as my enemy. Especially saw this in light of my relationship with my husband (POOR MAN) — I have put him on a pedalstal (ugh I can't spell) and unfortunately it's so high that OF COURSE it's setting him up for a big fall! I don't view him as human, fellow journer in this process of sanctification — I see him, EXPECT him to be ABOVE that, strong, I realized I expected him to be my god. GROSS. I am so sad at my sin in this. But I don't want to be so quick to stop there – I can TOTALLY see how quickly our hearts can then move to see them as the devil. (anyone read Changes that Heal by Cloud & Townsend? It's called Good/Bad Split) I think it's for this reason that my mom had an affair AND my mother-in-law who was ACTIVE in church, leading marriage small groups in her home.
And yet here is my other problem – because of this history – I feel plagued (and maybe insecure) that it is gonna happen to me… as if I have no choice in the matter — absolutely ridiculous I realize, yet something is not right in my mind and heart on this manner and I want to be free.
whew – that was long winded!
2. What has stuck with me the most: Insecure men withdraw and insecure women cling. I see this on the college campus where we do ministry and if I am honest – I can see this play out in my marriage (in different ways than on campus).
3. Omnipotence – which is an awful realization for me. Like I was okay with saying that I am a control freak – but to say that I want to be omnipotent like God feels like I am gonna be struck down on the spot (boy that says something about my view of God now doesn't it?!) My "ah-ha" moment was when Beth pointed out that the greatest challenge is when we are convinced that we are GENUNIELY trying to help someone towards a better life — yet, in our hearts we know we are really trying to control. hmmmm….
Jen
married
30's
Honestly, I didn't know how I was going to answer these questions when I first read them! Didn't think they applied! BUT after reading the chapters, I DO have answers:
1. I have "placed too much of my personal value & status of wholeness into the hands of" (pg.200) any man in my life, with my Dad & my spouse being in the highest 'positions'! So – gods usually – tho I realized that I gave the position of devil to my ex. by blaming him for our failure.
2. My thoughts while reading chp 10: Men would be created with the same? 'hole' inside them to search for God, right?! (that truth really struck me!) It's amazing that the inherent tendencies we all seem to be created with-males "to provide/see how good I am" & females "take care of/notice me" – can be turned into the fear of not fulfilling those holes, leading to feelings of failure/hoplessness & turning them into our god(s)/focus. When the true purpose seems to be:
A. to allow God to guide & be the provider of everything, so we can KNOW & Praise Him & be WHOLE
B. then when/if we have a mate, we fit together as a whole, the way He intended us to-the three of us: God, Man, & Woman.
I want to stop believing the lies of the enemy and believe my Heavenly Father instead!!!!!!!!!!!
Isaiah 33:6 NET
"He is your constant source of stability; He abudnantly provides safety & great wisdom; He gives all this to those who fear Him."
3. I've never felt I had any power over men!!! Wanted it & been jealous of those who did! I have definitely spent too much time on: "If he-then I", "he should, so I can be". When I met my ex-he told me, "you make me happy" – that was a 20 year struggle/failure to fulfill! I often try to 'help' others…didn't realize how it can be a god complex! And yes, I have been guilty of asking too many questions, wanting to know all! But recently God has been working with me on that, because I have thoughts like, "can I really handle knowing that" & have prayed for God to reveal whatever, if I need to know it, in His time. (So both resonated.)
I have also realized that I cannot DO this – any of it. I don't have the power – I have had to pray for GOD to work in me. All I can do, is look to HIM to work in me. Maybe that is letting go of fixing me too. I want to stop whipping myself into shape – it doesn't work and I only feel guilty & hopeless. God is much better at 'fixing' me!
Thank you Beth for allowing Him to use you to open our eyes & point us to Him!!!
Barb, 50's, Married, AZ
1. My historical tendency has been to generally view men as gods. Especially growing up, I was very intimidated by men, outside of my family members, and felt very nervous and insecure around them. As I've gotten a little older, I've become more comfortable around them and have been more able to see them as regular human beings like myself.
2. I think the book hits the nail on the head with this one. I think men tend to be more insecure about "being manly" and providing financially for their loved ones. I think women tend to be more insecure about their appearances and having a man in their life.
3. Omnipotence has been a divine attribute I have foolishly tried to obtain. Many times I have tried (unsuccessfully) to control things and people. I have had to, and am still learning to, let go and trust God. This chapter helped me reflect on the aspects of my own insecurities may be driving me to try and control others and what ways can I look to God to heal those insecurities. That's where the real freedom is!
Knoxville, TN
20's
Single, In a Relationship
I view/viewed men more as "gods" than devils. Most of the men in my life have been gentlemen. My Dad is one of them. Because he was a great example of a wonderful, disciplined, productive man, I assumed from early girlhood that most boys and men knew their minds and were secure in their thoughts and personhood and decisions. And since I thought boys and men knew their hearts and minds, I was generally certain it was me that was the insecure, indecisive, uncertain variable in any given friendship, relationship, or acquaintance.
2. Perhaps this is just because I am a woman and therefore know women – as well as because of how I have viewed men (my answer above) – but it has always seemed to me that women tend to wear their insecurities on their sleeves for all the world to see – far more so than men. At the same time, when I think of insecurity in men, what comes to mind is overly agressive or angry behavior – or overly sensitive or defensive reactions to criticism or healthy disagreement. I rarely attributed withdrawal in men to insecurity before reading the men's comments in SLI. I generally assumed their withdrawal was more of a choice; of quiet confidence or healthy distance or wise boundaries, or something along those lines.
3. Omnipotence resonates more strongly with me. I want my husband follow hard after God; it's hard to leave that to God. (In fact, I've gone back and forth so many times on ordering Curtis' Drive Thru the Bible CDs for my husband for that very reason.) As for omniscience, I'm often very curious to know certain things, but there's usually something stronger in me saying, "You don't really want to know." I had a number of instances of people telling me more than they should have when I was younger – the result being far more hurtful than not knowing (and in some cases, I learned that was the very intent in telling me), so I think those memories help keep my curiosity in check.
Linda
St. Paul
Married
40s
Nelli
Kingsport, TN
20s
Married
1. More as a god. My poor husband…I wanted him to fix me in ways that God only can.
2. I pooch out my stomach in the morning when I look in the mirror and make an ugly face. My husband flexes, smiles, and says "oh yeah"! I have never looked in the mirror and went away thinking "oh yeah"!
3. Omnipotence. It's like I've said to God, "Ok, thanks God for saving my husband but I'll try to sanctify him for You".
1. I neither thought of men as gods or devils. Not in anyway “supernatural” either for adoration or abhorrence. Did I adore or abhor? I thought about this statement “Maybe like me you vacillate between the two, but this is the news flash: either extreme–adoration or abhorrence–always betrays the depth of our own insecurity.” I was deeply afraid of and insecure around both men and women.
Let me see if I can bring my mind out in away that is understood about where I was before my understanding as it is now. I saw early on that neither women or men deserved either extreme; I had problems with love and hate, but not the extreme words for either gender; yet I applied the extreme of abhorrence to myself in that I thought in all cases where fault was necessary, I was at fault; I was to blame for their actions and reactions to me by both men and women…did I think it was a power that I thought I had? I don’t think so; it was badness on my part I thought I deserved all that happened to me– I was a rotten egg and the stench of such I could not prevent escaping as cracks came about as I fumbled around in life, I was born marked. I was black in heart and that is why I was treated the way I was. I remember being asked to draw a picture as to when I thought it all started…and I drew a pregnant woman with a black mass in her belly and I believed that to be me. Please, I am in no way saying anything out of disrespect it was just a drawing and now I am just expressing the answer to a question asked, just my take to things as I saw them then… but that belief system somehow became a deep, deep seated truth in my heart and soul.
I hated myself and did not think I had anything in me that would encourage pure, wholesome love or kindness toward me. Believe me at one point in my teenage years I tried, after being sponsored to go to a Christian youth camp I tried ; I thought this is what is missing…someone else’s life instead of mine, no, I did not confess with my mouth the Lord Jesus nor believe in my heart that God raised Him from the dead; I tried to live my two weeks after camp applying the good life of Jesus with out the power of His Spirit. Oh, how I tried to be good hoping it would change the course of peoples actions and reaction; but having a family hostile to Jesus Christ only brought further abuses. I thought I can’t win no matter what I do. It was like the devil knew I had just a hint of light and he would see to it I would be blind to the one thing I was missing…Christ in me the hope of Glory.
I hope this is answering the question…you said in all truthfulness and that is what I am trying to be–Truthful. So after that whole spiel I guess I would have to say if I had to choose between the two I would say devils…but in reality I thought I was a “devil” (bad seed) and brought out the worst in both men and women therefore deserved all that I received…does this make sense to anybody??? Note, this is all past tense! The historical thoughts not the present day thoughts of my heart!
2. I guess the differences would be where they find their identity…men’s identity seems to be found in how they provide and if not up to snuff feel insecure …women’s identity seems to be found how they nurture, nest and if not up to snuff feel insecure. Is that too simple? It seems in the way we show or how they manifest themselves through our actions we could say that these are similar.
3. On my, Beth, yes, omnipotence…that had been my problem! Had been…we could be sisters in the very things I did in an effort to make my man “happy”. To see to it he be godly… I chuckle now, but in sincerity I was doing what I thought was right! Can you believe it?!
I have to say God called me to the carpet and let my “righteous” world tumble that he can heal and restore (he wanted truth in the inward parts and as it was I still need to know the deep love God had for me…for me. Yes, by this time I did confess with my mouth the Lord Jesus and believed in my heart that God raised him from the dead, but He did not want outward adherence to grace in the form of law…that not of myself it is a gift…not of works…for God showed his love toward me in that while I was yet a sinner…I had to KNOW HE LOVED ME…I was taken down in the valley in the shadows that he show me his LOVE for ME…he knew the depth of the other belief and needed so to superimpose His Very love and truth over that LIE of the enemy…he needed me to know his love for me in a deeper depth than the lie) hence taking my eyes and hands off my man. Our Father is good in that he wants to have omnipotence over all: my husband, my children and I…He does a much better and lasting work in our hearts and souls…
Omnipotence, omniscience– I had to learn both were not mine though and yes, I tried the both on and no, that one did not fit me either! God is God I let Him be God! Many lessons tucked in my portfolio to us to his glory when the time comes though.
Deborah
CT
50
married
To Anonymous:
20s
married
March 21, 2010 4:53 PM
Oh, dear sweet girl. I am with you. I am with you in heart and prayer and oh how I wish we could get together for coffee and talk through this. I am beseeching our awesome God on your behalf this very moment. My kids are sleeping and I am dedicating some time to war on your behalf.
You are so precious to Him. So precious and valuable to our God. You must know that this issue of your husbands is completely and unequivocally separate from you my dear. Please know this. Ask the Lord to allow that truth to run deep into your heart. Your worth and beauty and appeal is wrapped IN NO WAY up with his addiction to pornography. May our gracious Lord shine His light on you in this area. I am praying for you friend.
I forgot to say that I read/absorbed a LOT of romance novels-Christian & Non-christian, so I had a lot of 'god' type of expectations of my 'knight in shining armour'!
Not sure if it's important to add but I do think dispelling that myth is so important!! Only God is our Saviour/"All in All" – thank you for stating that so clearly, Beth!!!
Barb, Married, 50's, AZ
Anyone with some advice regarding insecurity in the church? That's the number one place that I feel insecure. I am so different and so disconnected from the other people that I worship with. I try to minister to the young girls and that's a blessing, but I don't feel secure around any of them women my age or older. Most Sundays and Wednesdays I leave church with tears in my eyes because I'm so disconnected from the Body.
I have not done the homework for this week yet, but I needed to add to my comment from the chap.9 session. Especially for those who were praying for me that week, thank you so much!
I had talked about being convicted of keeping a stash of razor blades hidden away "just in case" I found myself in over my head again emotionally. I am all too familiar with the feeling of wanting to cut, to kill, to destroy. But God is so amazing!!
2 days later, on 3-18-2010, I took those r.b 's to my best friend's house ,and after much explaining about how I had reached that point, I gave those blades to her. Together, we gave them to God. Such a sweet moment with a precious friend. I committed to stop harming myself, and to put my security in God instead. We cried and prayed and cried and hugged and cried and got over-heated (!) and cried some more. Later that afternoon, we laughed our heads off at ourselves, a much needed break after the tears.
It's just incredible!! I thought I knew what I needed, I thought I knew where God was headed, truthfully, I didn't even really think I needed a book on insecurity! (Hard to believe, huh?!) But "God is greater than our hearts and he knows everything."!!!!!
Not to worry… I do realize my battle has only just begun. (Where are those verses on the armor of God anyway?!!) Still covet your prayers, though.
From a praise song: "Hallelujah! Hallelujah! Hallelujah! Your love makes me sing!!!"
Kristi
Philadelphia
40's
married
(sorry in advance as I"m not sure how much this relates to the question of the week but I wanted to share…)
Let me just say I love you ladies so much! There are so many of you that the Lord has put on my heart today that I wouldn't even know where to begin. As a Siesta who lives overseas where fellowship with others Siestas can sometimes be sporadic at best- this has been so healing to my soul!
I posted late last week about our struggle with infertility and asked for prayer as we're trying for another baby. I tried to post a follow up to that and I'm sure in my emotional state I somehow botched that up. Basically, we did not get the news we had hoped for on Saturday- God's timing is not now for another child for us. Continuing to pray and continuing to hope but it's for sure been an emotional few days.
The timing of this study has been perfect though because I've realized how much insecurity has been playing a role in this whole fertility journey for me. I've found myself at times questioning everything from my understand of God's will to my understanding of what He is speaking into my life etc.
Basically, Saturday, after finding out we couldn't have a baby now we came straight home from the hospital and prepared to host house church at our home for a gathering of other believers. The first song we sang was "Blessed Assurance" and for me the tears were just falling. I was sitting there looking around the room at my older two daughters singing their hearts out, holding my 4 year old in my lap, gaining strength from my husband as I was just barely holding it together, looking around at the people the Lord has woven into my life, and I just realized how incredibly true those words are- "This is MY story, this is MY song, praising my Saviour all the day long". No matter how painful the current trial, this is the story that God is weaving into my life. No matter what, in MY story and MY song, HE alone is MY Saviour. I realized that I'd been letting my insecurities rob me of that beautiful thought. Forgive me Lord!
My prayer for all of us is that we won't let Satan tell us for a second that our stories are irrelevant or that God considers them unimportant- He is the author after all. The enemies biggest trick is to make me feel insecure in my relationship with my God and I won't have it!
I love you ladies!
Kelli
Lebanon
married
30's
1. I honestly have not struggled with viewing men as either gods/devils. Sure, there have been days when I have put one or two men into this category for a time but never have I had that mindset for the entire male gender.
2. I will probably be the only person that answers this way…but I just cannot see other people's insecurities be them male or female. Even after reading the book and realizing MANY people are insecure I have tried to see the women around me as insecure and I just am not seeing that…
3. Omnipotent—and I just did it 2 days ago telling my husband he needed to change something. I realized after I read this that not only did I think it would be a self-improvement for him but deep down I thought it might change my circumstances as well and therefore change my security. AUGH!
Help me Lord!!
30's
married
SD