Don’t We Wish Life Was a Whole Lot Tidier?

I love you guys in this blog community so much. And I hope to heaven it goes without saying that I love my extended family. Lord have mercy, oh so much. But every now and then we are challenged to figure out how to demonstrate a balanced love to all of the above. This is my attempt and it will no doubt fall short of the place I wish it would land. I remember Kay Arthur telling a group at a Deeper Still event (in the Q&A segment) how painful it is to be totally misunderstood by something said or quoted out of context. She said, “If I somehow get my words wrong, haven’t we been together long enough for you to know my heart??” It hit me so powerfully.

 

My hope is that, if I somehow miss the mark and don’t find that perfect balance between honoring this flock and honoring my family, I hope so much each entity has been with me long enough to know my heart. I have never been more honored by a series appearing on this blog than my beloved sister Gay’s 7 installments. They were, each one, completely genuine and written in complete honesty. And they all still stand as a testament to the inconceivable power, grace, and healing of God.

 

But her story goes on.

 

And so do the rest of ours.

 

And life is hard, the devil is mean, the flesh gets weak, but the love of God stays strong.

 

I simply write today to say that you will never waste a prayer on anyone around here. We are all flesh and blood, weak in our natural selves, but (many of us) deeply committed to our pursuit of Christ. We’re not playing a game here. He is everything to us. Our joy. Our Strength. Our Refuge when we’re hurting. Our Rock when we’re rocking.

 

We established this blog with an unwavering commitment to remaining real in our witness and in our encouragement and exhortation. Thus far, we have to my knowledge held onto that commitment for dear life and, goodness knows, that’s a praise to God alone. This post is just an attempt to continue in that vein. We want to stay real with you. And what’s real is that Gay’s story is still being written even amid a painful turn of events and by the faithful God who spoke her name before the foundation of the world.

 

And my story is still being written. And I know your hearts well enough to imagine that right now you would say, “And mine, too.”

 

I wish it was tidier but it’s not. Gay has suffered a hard blow. I am heartbroken for her and also just plain heartbroken. One of these days there will be a next chapter from Gay, whether it’s here or elsewhere. It will not negate a single one she’s written. It will simply add to. It also does not negate a single thing I wrote or shared in Mercy Triumphs. I love her so much. I know you love her, too. We do not condemn here. We do not shame. We believe that our God can conquer all, recover all, redeem all, and use all.

 

I wish we could have it more together around here sometimes, sisters, but we remain completely cast upon our Savior and we live one day at a time. I love you immensely and I thank you for your patience with us. We are works in progress, all of us. Would you be so gracious not to press too hard for more details right now? To tell you the truth, they’re in flux and less than clear anyway. Let’s just leave some space for the beautiful healing mercies of God and let most of our talk take place from our knees.

 

You mean something to me. Something down deep. I want so much to serve you responsibly.

 

With much love,

Beth

 

 

 

 

 

 

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  1. 801
    Kristi says:

    I missed this post for some reason but want you and Gay to know that ya’ll are both loved. NOBODY is perfect and we do not condemn. We pray and lift ya’ll up to God. Love you both!

  2. 802
    Jen says:

    I am praying for Gay and you all. I have an addiction to a more acceptable drug~~food. I know what it’s like to want to stop the pain of living so much that you will do anything to stop it.

    The devil will use anything to put a wedge between us and God.

    Please know that my heart is crying out to God for all involved.

  3. 803
    kathy white says:

    Dear Beth and Gay,
    The same God who set the captive free….is calling out your name !
    He has never left your side and will walk this journey with you AGAIN…He is the Everlasting God and He never grows weary…..He loves you so, Gay !!!
    One of my sons is progressing slowly from an addiction of vicodin. And I just accompanied him to the Dr. Monday. I put the palm of my hand out and said to him, “Son, God has you in the palm of His nailed scarred hands. He will not let go of you. And NOTHING can separate you from the love of God. May the Word of God continue to resonate from your heart. MANY are praying for you both. your sister from Calif. kathy

  4. 804
    Nichole's Mom says:

    Mercy does Triumph! If our eyes could only see beyond this world we could see the end that God already celebrates for our loved ones. I’m going through a season with my youngest son that is very painful and full of addiction. Nasty isn’t it? What a weapon the enemy has! “But” our God is greater and higher than any other!!! But for God…

    Now I want to share something with you, May 7th was my mom’s birthday. She is batteling stage 4 lung cancer and she is holding on to God for all he’s worth! I went to visit her the weekend of her birthday and it was wonderful. I introduced her to your studies years ago and she has been doing them ever since. You are one of our very best friends! I left on her birthday, the 7th of May and was sitting in the Dallas Fort Worth Airport waiting for my flight (doing my James homework) when she sent me a picture from Chemo therapy, it was your book, praying God’s word and you had signed it with some words of encouragement to her. You’ll remember because her name is very distinctive, you wrote it to Dagmar (tears)… It brought her so much joy. Thank you Beth, you are our sweetest friend!

  5. 805
    Karen Lewis says:

    Dear Beth,

    I am sorry. I do not know what is going on with your sister but I have been praying for her. My eyes went to this verse Psalms 18:19 when I started writing this. He brought me forth also into a large place; (I know) He delivered me, because He delighted in me. He brought your sister forth into this large place where she ministered to me many times in her written heartfelt installments. He delivered Gay, because He delighted in her. His Word has not changed,because her circumstances have. He is Victory, trust Him my dear friend.

  6. 806
    yvonne says:

    Sweet Beth,

    I am just now reading this post. But I believe with all my heart that God’s timing is perfect and He wanted me to read it today and to sit at the feet of the cross and cry out for her at this exact moment. And cry out on her behalf I have done. Please know that I will continue to do so. I do not understand and never will understand how I can love women I have never met, but I do. I love you and your sweet sister. And I am hurting for both of you right now. Please let sweet Gay know that she is loved. Not only does her Heavenly Father love her despite whatever the blow, there are countless others that do to, including me.

    I will pray until I know there is Victory in His Name,

    Yvonne

  7. 807
    Fran Mccurry Plott says:

    I am just now seeing this a week after it is written. My heart is with you,Gay, for whatever your hurts are. Ours is the God of second, third, fourth,… chances. Isn’t that the Good News, whatEVER the bad news is?

    Much love,
    Fran

  8. 808
    Kim Feth says:

    Beth, Gay, and Family,
    No condemnation, only prayers from us and mercies from God.
    Peace,
    Kim Feth
    Apex, NC

  9. 809
    Erin says:

    Just seeing this for some reason – lifting Gay up!!! Now!!! And saying she is a sister in Christ and I love her. I think all that read her story love her, and you never give up on a loved one. Praying for Gay and will KEEP praying until I hear a victory report!!!

  10. 810
    Missy says:

    Just now seeing this but please let Gay know that I’m praying for her! Satan is a mean, nasty thing, but he does NOT have the final word and he is not the victor! Tell her she IS loved!

  11. 811
    Ruth from North Idaho says:

    Dear Beth,

    Much love and much prayer for you today, for your dear Gay. I will miss driving south Friday to see you in Boise…

    Ruth…North Idaho Siesta

  12. 812
    Trudy, Post Falls, ID says:

    Praying God’s great peace and healing for you, Gay, and all who love her! May you feel held and carried in His loving arms.

  13. 813
    Pam Houston says:

    Another mountain to climb! I’m with you in the journey and am believing God for the faith to endure for victory is sure, saith the LORD! I love Gay too and we will see who wins because we know the Victor! My heart and prayers go out to you: “Faith is the substance of recovery” (from the Recovery Bible)…”Dear Brothers, is your life full of difficulties and temptation? Then be happy, for when the way is rough, your patience has a chance to grow.” James 1:2-3 Nuff said.

  14. 814
    Connie says:

    I heard the most encouraging statistic in a meeting about addictions/ this one was about sex trafficing/ When we have behaviors that are “deeply embedded in our DNA” it averages 7 X to truly break free. BUT each time the gap into the abyss shrinks and we become more determined to re-enter the healthy place. Let the Devil hear that and take a hike. I always want everything GREAT RIGHT NOW!!!! But, I am learning that Perseverence has many , many faces and stages that aren’t so cute. I KNOW that God will complete what he started- He’s so Good Like that. It reminds me of Israel circling Jericho 7X- He undoes things soooo Perfectly. The Lord of the UNTANGLED DNA. Melissa, is there a Hebrew Name for that?

  15. 815
    Kathy Gerlach says:

    Praying for Gay, and for your family. I know you are headed for Idaho today, so also praying for traveling mercies for you and all your staff..and Travis,too. Pray that God will show up mightily tomorrow night!
    Kathy

  16. 816
    Sharie Shupp says:

    Someday in Heaven ALL will be tidy, clean, beautiful…but until then we ‘count it all joy, submit to God, be patient, strengthen our hearts, wait for the rains….and let Mercy Triumph’!! I also need to often climb on Abba Father’s lap and let Him comfort me as I cry many tears.

    Just read this wonderful quote (again) today ~ so fitting. ONLY GOD can turn a mess into a MESSAGE, a test into a TESTIMONY, a trial into a TRIUMPH, a victim into a VICTORY!

  17. 817
    Susan Gray says:

    Beth, I just had the chance to read this and I am broken-hearted even though I don’t know details. Please know that I am praying for all of you. Susan

  18. 818
    Nancy says:

    We believe that our God can conquer all, recover all, redeem all, and use all- Yes, Ma’am, He certainly can. That is my prayer for all of us, and I will be praying that truth for your sweet sister and the rest of your family. We love you, Siesta Mama!

  19. 819
    LaDonna says:

    “And life is hard, the devil is mean, the flesh gets weak, but the love of God stays strong.”

    These are such powerful words. Thank you, I needed to hear this.

  20. 820
    S.S. says:

    Gay– The steps of a man are ordered by the Lord. Be at peace & know that this too was ordered by the Lord. Everything has to go through the Lord first before it can come to you. Truly, ‘Man’s goings are of the Lord; how can a man then understand his own way’ (prov.20:24). He is using it all for your good, to bring about a deeper intimacy, a complete and thorough healing and deliverance.
    Even now I give Him praise for bringing you into UNION with Him, of experientially participating in the suffering of the cross and thus coming into a knowing Him as RESURRECTION!

    You have not failed….the *real* you is hidden with Christ (and He never fails).

    His lovingkindness & tender-mercies be yours….

  21. 821
    Angela says:

    Just read this post & wanted to say I am praying for you and your sweet sister. Your ministry has blessed my life immensely through the years. And I am so grateful! Offering up prayers for you both and your family! Thank you, Beth for allowing God to use you so powerfully in so many lives.

  22. 822
    peggy says:

    Beth,Gay and family – Love and prayers for healing. peg

  23. 823
    Fay Gossen says:

    Continuing to lift up love and prayers for Gay and all her loved ones

  24. 824
    Melissa says:

    Beth, please know that I am praying for you, Gay and the rest of your family. GOD has expecially placed Josh on my heart this afternoon. Sustain him, Lord……

  25. 825
    mary says:

    As the mother of a child who is struggling with a same sex attraction I found your words very comforting. Her story is not finished yet. She is still being held in the palm of His hands and I am called to love her back into the kingdom. I especially loved thses words, “We do not condemn here. We do not shame. We believe that our God can conquer all, recover all, redeem all, and use all.” Now unto Him who is able to do exceedingly, abundantly, above and beyond all we can ask or imagine. Praying for Gay and you.

  26. 826
    paintergal says:

    I too am just seeing this. Prayers for you all are uplifted to our glorious Lord Jesus Christ. Blessings to you and your sweet sister, Gay.

  27. 827
    Holly says:

    In today’s Bible Study lesson (Nehemiah) God’s Word has encouraged me regarding my family and I wanted to share it with you in hopes it encourages your heart as well. Neh. 9:18b “But You are a forgiving God, gracious and compassionate. Therefore you did not desert them, even when…(we can all fill in that blank with our own sin/rebellion) and vs 19 repeats: “Because of Your great compassion you did not abandon them in the desert.” The Lord is so kind to remind us that IN OUR DESERTS (and our family’s deserts) that His compassionate is still ACTIVELY ENGAGED in our lives. I needed that reminder today about some desert my family members are choosing to walk (and unavoidably dragging us along for the journey). The truth that God is still actively engaged in the ugly situations of our lives is literally a beautiful ray of hope. I pray this nugget from God’s Word is a balm for your hearts today. I will be praying for your family.
    Love,
    Holly

    • 827.1
      Crystal says:

      Thank you so much for that, Holly. I’m experiencing a heartbreaking “desert” period with my middle daughter and your words were a great comfort. <3

  28. 828
    Patty Fortunato says:

    Dear Beth, Thank you for your unwavering support of your precious sister Gay!! You remind me today how we should never give up on anyone…especially ourselves!! We will all fall short!! I am so blessed by your ministry!! Thank you and all glory and honor to God and praise Him that we know everyday how much we need Him!! In JESUS NAME!!!!!

  29. 829
    Ingrid says:

    We are not perfect. But Jesus is, and we hide ourselves in Him. With such a great witness to so many, Gay will have got the full attention of our enemy. May glory to God come from this painful tern of events.
    Jesus this family needs your comfort, thank you, you’re so generous. Amen.

  30. 830
    Jenna says:

    Praying and believing God for Gay, Beth, and all the Moores and Living Proof!

    Verse for you Gay,
    Psalm 129:1-2
    “They have greatly oppressed me from my youth,”
    let Israel say; “they have greatly oppressed me from my youth,
    but they have not gained the victory over me.

    Addictions have oppressed me from my youth, let Gay say, addictions have oppressed me from my youth, but they have NOT gained the victory over me!

    Love
    Jenna

  31. 831
    Anonymous says:

    I am just so sorry. So truly sorry that your family is hurting.

  32. 832
    Holly says:

    Phil 1:6
    God started this good work, he will complete it!
    In God’s merciful hands…

  33. 833
    Lynette says:

    Only our amazing God can heal the soul like no other! He never lets go of His children. My heart sank when I heard the news, our whole Bible Study group lifts you all up in prayer! You’re in good hands!

    From Loveland, CO

  34. 834
    Teresa says:

    Praying for Gay tonight! Wondering how she is doing.

  35. 835
    Malissa says:

    May God’s tender mercies be each of yours. From one redeemed daughter to another, my prayers are with your family.

  36. 836
    Becky says:

    You are all loved and in our prayers!!

  37. 837
    Deborah Mott says:

    Dear Dear Beth, how sorry I am to know you are being pressed beyond measure! May His Power rest upon you in this time of hardship. May you willfully focus on GOD’s GOODNESS and what He has done in your life to show His LOVE and His faithfulness. Thank you for staying true and believing despite the feelings and circumstances.
    Romans 8:18: Glory is at stake in your suffering and in your sister Gay’s life too….HIS MERCY is new every morning… LOVE IN CHRIST, Deborah Mott

  38. 838
    Jill says:

    I read all of Gay’s posts as they were coming out months ago and was so moved and BLESSED each time…she got me hooked on the LPM blog. I am just seeing this post today and my heart breaks for Gay and her family…GOD BLESS YOU, Gay. Know that you are loved and prayed for!

  39. 839
    Beth says:

    Beth,
    I just “happened” upon this today. The wonderful thing about prayer is whether someone saw this the first day you wrote this, or like me, was directed to it by the Lord today, your sister is being lifted up to Almighty God every day! Every single person has battles, and we need to truly pray for the Body of Christ like never before. I will be praying for every member of your family, especially Gay. Much love!

  40. 840
    Ann Jones says:

    I love you Beth! I’m “face down” for you and Gay.

  41. 841
    Ann Marie says:

    any update on how Gay is doing? Praying for some neighbors that I love who are battling addiction right now and I think of and pray for Gay often and was wondering if there was any update.

  42. 842
    bvxy38 says:

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