Good morning, Siestas! I just had a malfunction on the moderation page and, when I closed down and tried to reopen, I think it may have eaten about nine comments to the previous post. I’m so sorry if yours was one of them! I hate when that happens. All four Jones and Melissa, and I are packing up and heading to North Carolina to be part of a gathering near Asheville at Ridgecrest Conference Center. We are so excited to be together and to serve together. We also can’t wait to be with Travis who is family to all of us Moore/Jones/Fitzpatricks. We wish Angela, Jack, Lily Kate, and Levi were going, too! That would be the ultimate. We’ll also have so many other friends there – a reunion of sorts in a lot of ways. Anyway, you won’t waste a prayer on any of us. We never get this thing down. We pray not to get in the way of the Holy Spirit and that the pleasure of Christ will be upon us all. The group will be smaller than our LPL gatherings which means we’ll be able to see many faces and hug lots of necks. It will be water to our thirsty souls.
OK, so it’s TUESDAY! And that means it’s time for you to talk. Here is today’s topic:
Talk to me about a memorable time in your life when God broke through your hardheartedness, doubt, numbness or bitterness (or maybe even grief) with what almost seemed like a single stroke. In other words, has there ever been a time in your life when an event, a moment, or sudden revelation was used by God to crumble a wall that had long since been in place? I’ve been mulling over how a single God-ordained moment can change an entire season. If you’ve had one of those, describe it. After so many other things hadn’t “worked,” why do you think the breakthrough came like it did? (Keep in mind, some things just remain mysteries to us.) Take your time and think it through. Let it cause you some thanksgiving while you’re at it.
I will look so forward to your answers! You are dear to me, Sisters. May Christ be continually attracted to this community we call Siestaville.
I was on a business trip in Fla. Had been a believer for about 5 yrs but was living some lies – and my lifestyle was not in sync with what I believed. I was waiting for the whip to crack because Lord knows I deserved it.
But I’ll never forget driving a rental car down a highway scanning for a radio station when it landed on a Christian station that was playing the song “The Love of God”…can’t remember exactly the singer but it was Phillip somebody.
This song gripped my heart in such a way that I just broke and tears just streamed down my face. I could barely see to drive. I knew my lifestyle was not pleasing to God and I knew I deserved judgement, a whipping, something… but what was streaming through this song was mercy, kindness and gentle but irresistable call to come home. My heart was gripped that day by a love so strong that I could not resist turning back to Him.
It was the kindness of God that lead me to repentance. I have never ever forgotten that even tho it was many years ago. Even sitting here now I remember that day so clearly and tears are streaming as I think of His mercy and grace.
I am thankful.
PS. And I am also bummed that I am a women’s ministry leader in my church and missed this conferenc soooooo close to home with some of my FAVORITE people!!!! Stink stink stink….guess I’m gonna have to drive to Nashville now for the next one.
cc
One of my moments came after my second miscarriage. I didn’t understand WHY God allowed such a tragedy to happen to us TWICE! Especially when I found out I was pregnant a second time, I chose to trust God with all my heart that He would let that Baby be born. But the baby died anyway. I thought God had betrayed me. I was so hurt. Then I got a card in the mail from a good friend. One of the lines in the poem on the front of the card said something about this being a time of giving up on MY dreams. That line struck me in a strange, yet encouraging in a way. As I kept thinking on the idea of letting go of my dreams, I realized that was what God was calling me to do… He wanted me to desire His will for my life more than my own willâat any cost. Even if that meant His will included my husband and I not having children! Oh how I mourned giving my will over to Him! But now I realize how naĂŻve I was about God! God wants us to trust Him to work out HIS will in our lives. Not to work out our will! And since we know that His will is good and perfect, we can trust and even desire His will for usâeven when it doesn’t coincide with ours! What He was doing through the miscarriages was bringing Himself greater glory in my life! And I believe that is what this life is all aboutâbringing God glory! He won’t allow anything to happen to one of His children that won’t ultimately bring Him glory! By the lessons I learned about my good and gracious God, the intimacy with God I gained through the experience, and the testimony I now have through the story, God and His Word proved true! Today, after an amazing sequence of events, my husband and I have two young boysâto the glory of God! I praise God for caring for our first two children in heaven today. And I praise God for using that very difficult time in our life for the good and for His glory!
My 2 year old son was run over by an SUV while he was in the care of a lady from our church (my husband is the pastor of the church). I have always held a grudge, had a hard time forgiving others. So I KNEW this would be no different. My husband had only been in the ministry for 2 years and at this church for a little over a year. I was devastated. Our boy was fine and there are no physical injuries. Our God is so good. But I prayed about the situation as I knew how my ‘flesh’ dealt with things like this. But I also knew that the devil could use this instance to destroy my husband’s ministry there through me. So I prayed and God answered my prayers. I have absolutely NO ill wills toward this woman. When I start feeling ill towards others that hurt me, I use this as an example that I can forgive anything with God’s help. God bless and I hopeyou have a wonderful weekend.
Your comment really ministered to me today. Thanks so much:)
This is my first actually posting on this blog, yet this is such a fitting topic for this particular season I’m in.
I’m a sophomore at Moody Bible Institute. I decided to stay home this year and take online courses so that I can work on relationships with my family, coworkers, and some other scarred friendships. My parents divorced and are remarried. For various reasons, I live with my dad, step-mom, and two step-sisters.
This season is particularly hard because it seems like the beginning ends before it can ever begin. Has that ever happen to you? It’s entirely frustrating! Every time I try and make amends or offer consolation or even begin a new relationship, the situation gets worse. I’m doing the best I possibly and humanely can, but somehow I find that one way to unscrew a bolt that makes the whole structure fall apart.
I honestly don’t know what God is trying to teach me now. To rely on him solely? To trust his sovereignty? To pick up my cross and endure this season?
My questions are in the air, but I think I’m alright now with them staying in that position. I love hearing how God is working in other people’s lives, how he turns “ashes into beauty”. In many ways, this heals my own troubles and clears my vision. It gives me the hope that God has a plan for me, for my family, for my friends, for my coworkers, and even my acquaintances. He won’t set a fire purposefully without intending to make beauty from the fire’s remains.
I just want to thank you all for your honesty and vulnerability.
Even though this is an online community, it brings a whole new meaning to Hebrews 10:24-25.
May your heart be filled with gladness because of our Lord’s goodness!
Olivia
So it’s not Tuesday…I pray you won’t mind but as I read your post, I was back at the moment where I knew God was holding me together — it was 3 days after my hysterectomy, I was 37, never going to have children and devastated. And as I healed, I sat in my indoor adirondack chair, in the middle of my future study, looking out the windows at a beatiful summer day and cried. And there I felt the warmest, deepest hug I’d ever known and I knew it was God and I clung, knowing it was the only way, I would ever be able to heal from the pain. His hug spoke volumes and in my heart I heard: even this, will be used for my glory, even this…
I was a young mother of twin boys that were two at the time. I was leaving my husband, a youth minister addicted to teen porn and taking his aggressive tendencies on me and his babies. In a pit deeper than any I’ve ever been in, I lay with tears hitting the floor in my room at my mother’s house where we were staying. After a phonecall where he accused me of having an affair, I sobbed, wept, and wailed in anguish of the broken pieces my life had become. My mother ran up the stairs with my two precious angels toddling behind her. She wrapped me in her arms and they ran also to love on me. I begged her, “Mama, take them out of here, I don’t want them to see me like this. What is this teaching them?” With a tiny hand on my shoulder, my baby looked at me with the compassion of Christ in his tear-filled eyes and said, “No cry, Mama, Pray!” As I dropped to my knees my sweet babies knelt beside me and in prayer-position waited for me to do what they knew I should. I held up the broken pieces of my life to a God who with my 2 year old children lifted me at that moment out of the pit and restored those pieces and made them whole again. And my mother looked at me, tears running down our faces, and said, “This, dear, is what you are teaching them.” From that moment, my life has been teaching them that God is a sovereign God who offers comfort in the midst of the storm and strength in the faces of giants…or perhaps they have been teaching me:)
Allison,
I just loved what you shared…thank you.
Blessings.
michelle
Michelle,
Thank you for your sweet words! I still cry when I share this story…tears of thanksgiving! Blessings to you.
Thank you for sharing this… your children saw Christ in you before you ever even knew it!
Jen,
Thank you for your sweet reply. How precious a revelation! I still can’t share the story without tears…of thanksgiving! God bless you.
Let’s stay connected…www.inhisamazinggrip.blogspot.com
It was the summer of 2003. I had spent years building up a bitterness towards my husband about his endless job switches, moves, instability, etc. With two children, and one being very ill, I was in a constant cycle of worry and anger. God spoke to me in a summer bible study through Psalms 37… he said that “He upheld the upright man with his hand and though he stumble, he will not fall”. His word went on to pour into my heart and say that “I have been young and now I am old, yet I have never seen the righteous forsaken or their children begging for bread”. It was is God’s word LEAPT off the page at me. He said, “You have really been mad and bitter towards me! I am your provider, not your husband — he is only the tool I use to help with your family. Look to me, trust me, let go of the anger and bitterness, and live FREE!” I was overcome and obeyed Him. And, while not free of moves (having moved twice since then), I have lived FREE of the anger, bitterness, and worry that were my so-long constant companions. I do trust Him and thank him daily for his provision in our lives. He is FAITHFUL!!
Let me start by saying the girls at my church headed to Ridgecrest for a retreat weekend and I didn’t go with them. Knowing you and your girls are going to be there and I’m not is killing me right now. I stayed home to grade papers, which seems so completely like something I could have done at a different time now. Ugghhh…..
Hope you all have a blessed time together!
Now on to your request. I have had just this kind of experience. It all stemmed around money and my giving. My church was doing its annual Annie Armstrong drive and I was feeling the need to give something more than my usual. I had just purchased a new printer for my computer – a rather nice one. It had much more than I needed. I felt like the Lord was asking me, “You would spend that much money on a printer you don’t really need but you wouldn’t give money to my children?” So I decided to take it back and give the refund I received on my exchange to the Annie Armstrong fund.
When I got to the store I decided to get the lowest model, which gave me a return of $174. I thought I was only going to get $60 so this was a lot more – to me at least. When I got home and prayed about my return I asked the Lord, “Do I have to give the whole $174 or can I just give the $60?” BAM! He hit me with a visual straight from Lord of the Rings. I saw myself as Smeegle (Did I spell that right?)crouching in a cave, filled with greed, naked and nasty looking – and I’m not even a big Lord of the Rings fan but that is what I saw in my mind. It was so very real and I felt so very horrible for what I was. I cried and cried – you know, the ugly cry. Finally I choked out, “Lord, how can I even hold up my head knowing who I am?”
Immediately and with great love, I promise you He said back to me, “Because I have redeemed you.” Oh, sweet words! Sweet words! In one quick moment I knew exactly who I was and I knew exactly who Jesus is! And, he is so good to love me. His words are the only way I could have gotten up off that floor with any dignity left in tact.
I learned a lot that day about me and about Him. I also have a different understanding of things. And, just so you know, I wrote that $174 check to Annie Armstrong with gratitude. I’m also working on not being a Smeegle and I’m glad for His revelation so that I’m aware because I had no idea that was hiding in my heart. Jesus has a way of getting right to the matter, doesn’t he?
Dear Beth, Amanda, Melissa, and fellow Siestas,
I have no words to be able to even comment on this recent post…my mind is overwhelmed. I am coming here as a broken-hearted Auntie on behalf of my 3 week old precios baby niece, Molly. She has been found to have a large malignant brain tumor and this past Tuesday had about 50% of it removed. We were told immediately following surgery that there is really no treatment and she would probably only live a couple of months. We are now awaiting the final pathology reports and praying that treatment is an option. You can get her whole story at http://www.caringbridge.org/visit/mollylyda I am sharing it with all of you because I know who to go to for PRAYER! Thank you in advance…let’s storm the gates of Heaven on Molly’s behalf. xo
Shelly
Wanted you to know that Im with you, storming the gates on behalf of little Molly! I lost a 21 yr old daughter last year the day after Easter and it has been a long healing road for me. But I do know that God hears our prayers and answers them immediately! So my heart and prayers go out to you and your family. Bless little Molly’s body Father God, and send Your precious Word to heal her. Hold Molly and her whole entire family in Your Mighty right hand and through this all, Precious Lord, give them peace, wisdom and Your Mighty Presence! We love You Father and trust You completely, even when we dont have all the answers to our questions. We do lean on You, rely on You and fully trust in You! We love You! In Jesus name we pray Amen
God broke through a period of doubt in my life when I was plaqued with worry that my family was not pleasing Him due to the fact that we chose not to attend Sunday night services at our church. In retrospect, it seems this was a lesson in self-imposed legalism. Several years ago when my children were young, my husband and I made the choice not to attend on Sunday nights, due to my children’s school starting so early on Monday morning and the fact that they would not get enough sleep. A fellow church member, who was always there with his wife and kids at every service, (his wife taught Sunday School and was part of the children’s ministry team)made a comment to my husband that kids adjust and indicated we should be bringing them. I worried over that comment, wondering if my mothering instincts were wrong, were we displeasing God, doing our children a spiritual disservice? I prayed about it and even set about doing our own service at home on Sunday afternoons, involving my children in Biblical activities – to try and make up for my guilt and maybe wrongful decision to stay at home. A few months later, I was invited to the home of this family who had made the comment – it was a get together of other church women, mostly younger women. I was never so shocked at what transpired in that home, meant to be funny and entertaining – I won’t go into details, but it was way beyond what I could endure spiritually – extremely crude having to do with sexuality. Also – at the time, my husband and this woman’s husband were in an accountability group together that revolved around the desire for purity. I just couldn’t stay and whispered in the woman’s ear so no one else would hear that I could not stay, it just wasn’t for me. Honestly, I was shocked that none of the other ladies left, although I could see in their eyes that many were clearly uncomfortable. Maybe they left after I did, I don’t know. As I was getting in my car, my mind was reeling with thoughts like “how could this be? how could she do that? what was she thinking? what if our pastor knew what she was doing?” As I sat down in my car behind the wheel, a voice came to me and said “Going to church doesn’t make you holy.” It hit me on top of my head. I think I audibly said “ok, Lord, I see now.” I knew God had just told me that I shouldn’t worry, and I didn’t after that.
Just stumbled across this website today for the first time! Inspired by these awesome stories, I’d like to share one of my own.
When I got married 3 years ago, God did an amazing work in my heart. He helped me to leave behind much fear and anxiety I had in regards to relationships, and brought me to the place where I could freely fall in love with, and give myself completely, to my dear husband. I had struggled with so many things in the past, but now for the first time I was happy, healthy, and confident in my future with him.
Things started off well, but soon tiny doubts, and selfish thoughts started to creep in. “Is this really me? Is this really what I want? Wasn’t I happier before?” I started being very selfish with my time and energy, thinking about myself, more than “us.” I began pulling away from my husband, first in subtle ways. A large part of it was working out A LOT. I mean, my need to do it could interrupt our daily lives and was a TOP priority. Then I began to diet very strictly. Obviously all of it was to have control, since for some reason I felt I had lost it. The funny thing was I was NOT in control then! In fact, the food and exercise were controlling ME, and by default my husband!
We live in a rural farming community during the summertime, near one of the largest meat distributors in the world. As a sign of my rebellion, I was not eating meat at all! So funny, and ridiculous, looking back! I had also lost about 30 pounds since we were married – which is a TON as I am already slender to begin with. I was no longer attractive to my husband, though of course he loved me dearly, and though distraught, prayed the nonsense would stop. He is a man with many things on his plate, but claimed at that time, I was by far his biggest, all-consuming worry.
For so long I “wanted” to get better, but my actions continued down the path of destruction. One day, a family friend, and Christian counselor, whom I had been going to for “advice,” but really just trying to have my selfishness justified, said of my correspondence with him, “This sounds like someone who doesn’t want to be a married woman.” THAT WOKE ME UP. I paid lip service to marriage, but in my heart and actions had moved so far away. I looked in the mirror and was disgusted. The last straw came about this same time, when I suddenly realized I might have already done irreversable damage to my body, that may prevent us from having children.
So remorseful, I cried out to God, repented, and asked Him to please help me, every step of the way to recover. Over a year later, my marriage, and health, are completely restored. I am constantly grateful and humbled. This story turned out long, but I hope it helps someone!
My daughter rebelled against ALL THINGS CHURCH for 3 years–from the age of 11 to 14. God asked me to lay down my ministry & enter into a season of intercessory prayer, specifically for my family. I prayed all day in her room for 2 weeks & suddenly, she had a total change of heart. Overnight, she got involved in ministry again, admitted to being in rebellion, and has acknowledged her calling to be a pastor’s wife.
GOD IS FAITHFUL.
Beth and Siestas,
I know we are a few days out from Tuesday. In fact it is Saturday. I can answer this question with no hesitation whatsoever. Today. Now. I am sitting here thinking about how my mom seems to be very close to death and how I spent 5 days on the road driving cross country to be here with her. I got to hold my sister while we cried together. Healing for us in the midst of sorrow. Healing and forgiveness as we told my mom how much we love her. Alot of pain in the thought of her passing but total love for having had her in my life. By the way, I really do love Texas. It was a great state to pass though. Going back we will be passing through Houston. I will wave as we go by…I Love you.
Kelly,
I am praying for you and your family.
michelle
Michelle,
My mom continues to rally. It is one day up and the next day down. She is cuurently in ICU in a hospital in Nashville, TN. She has been out of the hospital and in a nursing home. She was taken to dialysis then rushed to the ER again due to low blood pressure and what appeared to be extreme respitatory distress. That’s when she was transfered back to nashville. It seems that she has severe dementia and has acute infections through out her body. Is it wrong to wish that the Lord would take her home?
I am staying in her house with my stepdad. I see so many things from my childhood and am flooded with thousands of memories that bring a smile to my face. When I went to see her last time, I told her of some of those times. She in her semiconcious state, she smiled. This has been hard to deal with and I ended up in the hospital for a few days myself due to Diabetic Keto-Acidosis. The traveling from California to Tennesee, time changes, and seeing my mom in that condition was just too much for me. I got sick the day after I arrived in Tennessee. Not exactly the strong person/hero that I wanted to be.
My tme spent with my sister and stepdad has been wonderful. I have enjoyed every minute I have had with them.
I am missing my man and want to go home to him. Your prayers are coveted. Thank you so much.
Kelly
God has sheltered our marriage from the beginning; in spite of our own messes, He gave us forgiving hearts toward each other and I thank Him for that, every day. This was never more evident than six years ago, when out of the blue, while my dear husband was working in another state and only home weekends, he said he wanted out. Couldn’t give me a reason, wouldn’t admit to anything, just said we were done. During the first few seconds of absording this announcement my heart went cold, my lungs shut down, my legs were rubber. But before he could get the words out of his mouth, my Holy Father’s neverending hedge of protection went up around me – I felt it! The safe harbor rose around me, the Holy Spirit’s peace stilled my queavering soul and God grabbed my hand, with the awareness that He would never leave me. And He hasn’t. This episode ‘resolved’ itself in less than a month. There were sore places between us that we tiptoed around awhile, there were wounds that took time to heal. But God was kind, gracious and strong. We just celebrated 33 years of marriage. This union was meant to last, in His name. The peace that passes all understanding. O how I love Jesus.
I always dread the end of summer because fall can be a lonely time for me when everyone goes back to their regular routines. And this fall I was lonely and really struggling spiritually. I prayed for God to speak to me … and He started showing me some people I needed to forgive (and Beth, he used your little YouTube video about your dog gnawing on his ball as an illustration to show you how we can “gnaw” on unforgiveness in our hearts. What an excellent analogy that was for me!) Anyway, I made the choices to forgive individuals who hurt me … notice I said “choice-s” because it took the choosing several times of forgiving – and I was set free! Thank You Lord for speaking to me about this, for softening my heart and freeing me … and for taking my loneliness away!
I am just getting to this but I hope it still gets read by you or your girls! đ I have been on a rollercoaster of a season lately. I have had and am having problems in my marriage, financial problems, my husband lost his job.. just a ton of things going on since around May. One of those seasons where you tell God, ‘ I dont know what else you want because I dont have anything!’. LOL! Well my mind hadn’t thought that out yet but I guess my heart had because God decided to take away one thing and pull something else out of my reach. One of them being my makeup bag!!!!! I’m a Texas girl and our God knows how to talk to us Texas girls!;) My husband had just lost his job so I knew good and well we could not afford to replace materialistic needs. lol A week later I was having a garage sale and I was putting a price tag on some pants I hadn’t worn in over a year. I thought I saw a few dollar bills but didn’t expect to find $80!!! Thats not a ton of money to some but when you dont feel like you have any (and a girl has lost her makeup) that $80 is somethin’ big! Anyway that was just one of a few things He gave back to me. After giving those things back to me I was spending time with Him one afternoon and He hit me with the biggest word I think I have ever received from Him. It may be so obvious to everyone else but obviously it wasn’t to me! It WAS.. WAS a revelation to me! He will deliver me every time! Every SINGLE time! He has put me in a season of impossible situations and has told me to sit back and WATCH HIM WORK! He has really stripped me down to where I have had to throw my hands up and say “Well, You are going to have to do it because I can’t”. And He has. Isn’t that beautiful?! I have had and AM having a difficult season but in this hard hard season of my life He has done some BEAUTIFUL things. Thank you for opening that question up! I needed to be reminded of how He has been my everything! OH and here’s the scripture He revealed to me (when He revealed the revelation.. He humbled you, causing you to hunger and then feeding you with manna, which neither you nor your fathers had known, to teach you that man does not live on bread alone but on every word that comes from the mouth of the LORD. NIV Deuteronomy 8:3
My husband is a recovering addict. I spent 12 years developing a heart of anger and bitterness in regards to that and after some recent counseling still felt like I was seeking something deeper, to meet me in my “angry” heart. I woke up in the middle of the night hearing “come to me”, like He was telling me He was the only answer I was after. So a few days later, in my car by myself, I was praying and listening and after some tears I heard myself cry out “forgive me of my rebellion!” It was a heart cry and the weight of all the bitterness disappeared. My home is a different place now… peaceful. Funny, I thought it was always my husband who made it miserable. But in reality, it was my unforgiveness and, really, my unbelief that He cared about me, that created an unpleasant environment. It’s something how we really do act on what we believe and I believed the lie that He didn’t care or see me… now I know differently! Praise Him!
I have already replied to the question so this is is an observation mainly because the Lord has been showing me what I am about to say. A few weeks ago our neighbor said to me he has never fogotten that I had said to him how important the journey of our lives is. I’ve been thinking about that and how true that the things that each of us has gone through even including our *aha* moment serves to be a witness, a planted seed, words that water or even harvest. Then this week in our Esther study Beth said the things she went through allows her to minister to women in a way she may not have been able to.
While reading the seistas turning points I can see how God can use each one to minister to women in circumstances that only someone who has been there can do.
I know that I can truly say that is who I was, but in Christ, this is who I am. I hope this makes sense and doesn’t come across as rambling. Thanks Beth for giving each of us a safe place of community to share our hearts. Blessings to all.
Hello, Beth…My name is Sharon Daly. I am from Grenada, Mississippi. I attended the Women’s Leadership Forum in Asheville this past week, and was blessed beyond measure!! I, of course, loved the message the Lord brought through you, but I wanted to tell you how much I loved hearing from Curtis!!! His words screamed such truth!!! Thank you and please thank him. I am a member of FBC Grenada, childhood home church of Buddy Walters and his family. My group of 3 were sitting two rows behind you and sent a note up to you, but the ladies did not give it to you…we understand that you can not receive notes from everyone, and they were protecting you, but we just wanted you to know that Buddy’s daddy, Mr. Bud, as we call him, is not doing well. Please pray for him and his only son left, Bill. Bill is living in an assisted living facility, and Mr. Bud lives alone. Again, thank you for giving to the Lord…..
I had a lot of health problems. I was mad at God for allowing me to have all these issues. After all, I was saved and serving him. I felt like I did not deserve what I was going through. After my second surgery I was doing a Beth Moore study even though I was soooo angry at the Lord. Anyhow, I did my bible study lesson one morning and then went in to remove the bandages off of my tummy. What I realized was that the scars from my two surgeries formed what anyone looking at me would see as an upside down cross. However, when I looked down at my belly it was rightside up. The Lord whispered to me at that moment that I was bought at a price and that I only need to look down at my belly to remember who I belonged to and what the cost of my salvation was. I realized at that moment that all the suffering I had been through with my illness was nothing compared to what Christ went through. It changed my outlook completely!
I was in an abusive relationship where evil messed with me. I later married
my Keith who directly mirrors the character Michael Hosea in Francine
Rivers’ Redeeming Love. I saw myself in Angel and when I read the last
page, a veil flew from my eyes and I found myself kissing my sweet beloved’s
cheek in tears. I saw myself through the Lords forgiving eyes and my beloved
through the eyes of Love. I haven’t ever been the same! Thank You, Sweet Trinity!
Well, we found out we lost the house we were moving into the very next day. We had to be out of the house we were in and the bank accidentally foreclosed on the house we were to move into. The Uhaul was packed, we didn’t have a penny more to our name after all the moving expenses and deposits for electric, phone, etc. Having children made the situation even more difficult. We had no family to turn to. The pressure was so intense but in that moment I remembered a verse that rolled all the stress away and gave me perfect peace. The verse was “don’t be anxious for anything”. God granted me permission not to worry and with joy I accepted His invite. The next day we contacted our attorney and he told us we could break into our house and just move in (it had been locked down b/c of the accidental foreclosure). We broke in, moved in, and the mistake was corrected within a couple days to God’s glory!
Unbelieveable that the first time I find your blog this should be the question. Twenty seven years ago (six months after accepting Christ as my personal Savior) while driving with my then boyfriend, a pastor, we passed one of my newfound friend’s apartment and the curtain ripped open: my father had molested me as a teenager. You know, Beth, that our minds are fragile and obviously God waited until I knew Him as my Father, Physician, Counselor before He allowed this event to be remembered. I was surrounded by believing girlfriends who had tragically suffered the same at their fathers’ hand. But, they were further along in their healing and with many tearful nights and tea-filled dining room table talks, my journey began. I can gratefully say that these years have brought many blessings, a few tragedies and huge opportunities for healing. I speak to groups about my testimony and LOVE seeing God lovingly enable them to peek around that same curtain. To God be the glory.
God revealed to me in His big (but gentle way) LET GO! The past is done. I am to use my hurts to help others. Romans 8:1 pleaded with me “Therefore, there is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus”. His grace has restored me…and continues to restore me everyday. He’s got it!
I’ve been thinking over this question all week.
Honestly, God’s definitely done some great things in my life but I couldn’t think of a time when He’d really just cut through my hardened heart like that.
Recently I’ve been dealing with some rough friendships that are really just falling apart. That’s a big deal to me – I don’t know any of us who like to lose friendships, especially when accusations are thrown, regardless of their truth.
On a side note, I feel like God likes to lead me into situations quite slowly, then explode all of my pride…kind of like taking off a bandaid.
Sometime yesterday I was really upset about all that has been going on and I wrote in my journal, “God, I don’t want anyone else to get involved in this mess and get hurt. I don’t want anyone to be close because I don’t want them to get wrapped up in all my mess. I am such a mess.” Truth – I am a mess. We are messes. But we are messes God wants to use. After writing that, I had several friends (who really honestly don’t know about this other situation) message me about getting together or just to say “I love you.” God made me realize then that I’ve been cowering behind my brokenness and ignoring His blessings.
This morning at church, my pastor spoke on forgiveness saying, “If you can’t forgive someone for hurting you, it’s not because you’re so hurt or because you’re so broken over it…it’s because you don’t trust God enough to handle the future and handle that past hurt and get you through the present.”
That was the moment that just broke me, broke the pride and the walls of pain in my heart. I want to just trust God. period.
Needless to say, I walked out of church with new eyes.
PRAISE REPORT!!!!
After writing my post last week on this topic, God began to move in my heart concerning my brother and told me to cook him dinner and pray with him (that last part scared me half to death!). So, on Thursday I whipped up a chicken pot pie and some salad and headed to his house. When I got there, he was almost incoherent with drugs. My hubby and I just placed the food in the fridge and visited for a few minutes. He’s so sick from his failed liver, and diabetes, that he literally falls asleep midsentence more often than not, so we bumbled along for about 10 minutes with no real progress.
And then, I felt myself start to lose my nerve. What if he completely lost it when I asked him if I could pray with him? What if he became beligerent, which he often does when he is high or drunk? The enemy was trying to convince me I simply couldn’t do this…and I, of course, felt that old bitterness at his choices welling up in my heart.
Just about that time, my brother decided he just HAD to show my husband something from his room, so we helped him up and into his bedroom. I stood outside his door while my husband went in with him to help and really debated on whether I could find the nerve to do this. Ya’ll, I sort of did the close the eyes, eye roll thing at my lack of nerve…and just above his doorway you will not ever guess what I saw!!!! I tiny plaque…no bigger than your hand…that read, “Behold, I stand at the door and knock”. I have NO idea who placed that there, unless my mom put it there at some point. I cannot recall a moment where I’ve been more convinced that Jesus was standing there and literally saying to me, “Love one another, as I have loved you”. I felt like I was looking into His face and saying, “OK, Lord. You and me”.
We visited maybe 10 more minutes and as we turned to leave, I just asked if he would mind if I prayed with him. It was the weirdest moment. His eyes had been so cloudy and kind of…well, blank. But when I asked my brother if I could pray with him, he looked almost like a scared child. Clear eyed, but confused. He said YES! (actually, he mumbled, “Sure sis…if you want to”…but, I’ll take it!) So I did. I thanked God for my brother. I thanked Him for loving us and I prayed for healing.
My brother started sobbing. I’ve never seen him so much as shed a single tear in my life. Not one. Tears rolled down his cheeks and his ravaged, unhealthy body shook all over.
When I finished praying with him, he mumbled that “real men don’t cry…and your kids saw me”. …grin… I gently told him that ONLY real men cry and that I loved him. I hugged my brother, really hugged him, for the first time in 25 years. And he LET me!!! I’m not sure what God’s plan is, but He’s moving in my brother’s life. Thank you, Father!!! I love you, too, Lord! I love you so much!
Please, please pray with me siestas that he’ll see that nothing he’s done is bigger than God, who loves him! My brother’s life is coming to an end, and I so long for his salvation in Christ. I long to know that when his eyes close for the last time, that he’ll open them to the One who has loved him with a love that surpasses all understanding!
Believing Him, Kristi
Kristi,
I am praying for your brother!
I was so blessed by what you shared in your other post. Thank you for sharing.
In His love,
michelle
I love this! We never can imagine how the Lord can use our obedience…and no one could have done for him like you – his sister. Praying for your brother to “open the door” and dine with HIM!
Amy
MICHELE,
If you are reading this please let me know how you are doing. You are in my prayers but your silence is making me worry for you dear girl…..Rebecca
I just had to share this! Since we are talking about the moments God broke through. This was in our church prayers for the month of November:
The Old Geezer
We were the only family with children in the restaurant. I sat Justin in a high chair and noticed everyone was eating and talking. Suddenly Justin squealed with delight and said, “Hi there.” He wriggled and giggled with merriment. I looked around and saw the source of his merriment. It was a man with a tattered rag of a coat; dirty, greasy and worn. His pants were filthy and his toes poked out of would-be shoes. His shirt was dirty and his hair was uncombed and unwashed. His hands waved and flapped on loose wrists. “Hi there, baby; hi there, big boy. I see ya, buster,” the man said to Justin. My husband and I exchanged looks, “What do we do?”
My husband and I were embarrassed. We ate in silence; all except for Justin, who was running through his repertoire for the admiring skid-row bum, who in turn, reciprocated with his cute comments. We finally got through the meal and headed for the door. My husband went to pay the check and told me to meet him in the parking lot. The old man sat poised between the door and me. “Lord, just let me out of here before he speaks to me or Justin,” I prayed. As I drew closer to the man, I turned my back trying to sidestep him and avoid any air he might be breathing. As I did, Justin reached with both arms in a baby’s “pick-me-up” position. Before I could stop him, Justin had propelled himself from my arms to the man’s.
Suddenly a very old smelly man and a very young baby consummated their love relationship. Justin in an act of total trust, love, and submission laid his tiny head upon the man’s ragged shoulder. The man’s eyes closed, and I saw tears hover beneath his lashes. His aged hands, gently, so gently, cradled my baby’s bottom and stroked his back. No two beings have ever loved so deeply for so short a time. I stood awestruck. The old man rocked Justin in his arms for a moment, and then his eyes opened and set squarely on mine. He said in a firm commanding voice, “You take care of this baby.”
Somehow I managed, “I will”. He pried Justin from his chest – unwillingly, longingly, as though he was in pain. I received my baby, and the man said, “God bless you, ma’am. With Justin in my arms, I ran for the car. My husband was wondering why I was crying and holding Justin so tightly, and why I was saying, “My God, my God, forgive me.” I had just witnessed Christ’s love shown through the innocence of a tiny child who saw no sin, who made no judgment; a child who saw a soul, and a mother who saw a suit of clothes. I was a Christian who was blind, holding a child who was not. I felt it was God asking, “Are you willing to share your son for a moment?” â when he shared His for all eternity. The ragged old man, unwittingly, had reminded me, “To enter the Kingdom of God, we must become as little children.”
Anonymous
Beautiful.
Growing up an ugly duckling, I finally discovered how to make myself beautiful on the outside in my late teens, and fell in LOVE with the power and attention it gave me from men. I learned how to dress in ways that teased them terribly but made it look like an accident. I called it “accidentally sexy”. I used to revel in the thought of another woman’s man wishing he was with me instead. Evil and selfish as it was, I built my entire self worth AND security on the idea that if I was the desirable one that everyone wanted, then surely I would never be the one being left for another.
God shattered all of that when my husband came to me and confessed a life-long battle with pornography that had continued on into our marriage. I had just had our first child, and was already experiencing post-baby self esteem issues. And OF COURSE I took it personally. People will tell you it’s not about you, but it was COMPLETELY about me in this situation. Because it challenged EVERYTHING I had worked so hard to build. It didn’t follow the rules of the game I had created and I was left without an identity and forced to re-build again from the bottom up.
That was one of the most painful times in my life. I have never felt so bankrupt. But I have a husband who was willing to fight to keep his eyes pure for only me. I learned amazing things about the evil in my own heart and, stripped of everything I knew, I was more than ready and eager to accept God’s alternative. It was a hard, LONG road and I am still learning. But the freedom of having my self-esteem tucked away in Christ was worth it all. I care about men and I watch how I dress because I understand how God made them now. All those looks I was so proud of myself for getting…well, now I realize it had nothing to do with me!! And it lost it’s glamour. I developed a compassion and a heartache for the hurt that occurs on both sides of this whole industry. My heart is raw and tender now and I have a deeper understanding of the twisted, TWISTED lies that Satan tangles us up in.
Beth, every time you talk about a women dressing inappropriately and immodestly and that “she dressed on purpose” that way, my heart POUNDS out of my chest. I was that woman. I am so grateful God opened my eyes to that. Now I find my worth in the fact that I am a daughter of the King of Kings and nothing else!!!! Praise God for his faithfulness.
Oh Beth! I just returned from Black Mountain, NC, with the ladies of our church. We spent 4 glorious days refreshing, renewing and savoring the glory of God’s handiwork! We were only a mountain or two away from Ridgecrest! We would have loved to have you and the girls stop by. You could have joined us around the campfire on Saturday night where we roasted marshmallows and shared Holy Ghost stories of how God has worked in our lives. Maybe next year you can come!
Almost 10 years ago (after years of infertility treatments) I became pregnant with twins. The pregnancy progessed well, until, at 19-1/2 weeks I was suddenly 4 cm dilated and 70% effaced. During my 2-1/2 weeks in the hospital I had a few procedures, and we prayed, A LOT! I thought that if I had enough faith that God would perform a miracle and give us full-term, healthy babies. We wanted God to prove the doctors wrong. My water had broken, but labor was held back with medication. But then I got an infection and was told the only way to save my life was to induce labor. At 22 weeks I delivered my 2 babies, Samuel William (Sammy) and Kathrine Grace (Katie), and they both died very quickly.
Over the course of time, I took to heart some well-intentioned comments, and I believed it was my fault, and wondered how God could forgive me for letting my children die (as if I’m in control of that!). (I’m sitting here crying as I type this.) I believed that God couldn’t possibly really love me because either a) He allowed my children to die, probably because I wouldn’t have been a good mother anyway or b) I didn’t trust Him enough to ignore the doctor’s advice to induce labor.
Anyway, God did give us 2 healthy children after that, but I still couldn’t shake the deep ache in my soul. About 6 years after we lost the twins, I did my first Beth Moore study – Believing God. During that study (I don’t remember exactly what week), while watching the video, God spoke to my not just my heart but my soul, that He does love me, and He loves my babies that are in heaven. I have never done the ugly cry in public before, much less during a Bible study, but in that moment, God healed my heart! And I KNOW without a doubt that God is sovereign AND He loves me.
And then He surprised us with our youngest child exactly a month before I turned 40! God is so good, merciful and generous to this poor soul!
I’m so thankful He didn’t allow me to be in my pit of despair forever. He just reached down and pulled me out of it and right into His loving arms.
Beth,
Last week I was at the Women’s Leadership Conference and God had laid it on my heart several months earlier to share my story with you. I had hoped to meet you and make that delivery in person, but God did not answer that prayer as I had hoped. I was such an emotional mess by the time God prompted me to ask Chris to pass it along to you, I’m sure she thought I was completely nuts. Not that any of that answers your Tuesday topic…..
At 19 and as a single mom, I got married for all the wrong reasons and stepped into a marriage of abuse through neglect and demands of perfection. We had two sons together and just months after my 3rd son was born my oldest suddenly died at the age of five, after just 3 days of illness. Due to some selfish choices of my husband’s during that time my resentment toward him was off the chart and we were separated one month after Matthew’s death and soon divorced. I was left to be a single mom, a single mom who was so full of anger and resentment, I couldn’t speak his name without venom spewing forth. Several years later and after some healing God brought a godly man into my life but after just a few dates, this godly man told me we couldn’t date any longer, not until I had reconciled with my ex-husband. I knew that this relationship was over, because I had no desire of any kind to reconcile with my ex. I had forgiven him long ago, but to reconcile a relationship with him was too much for me to even think about.
My single God-ordained moment that He used to change my future came after several weeks of prayer. The Lord sent me to humble myself and ask my ex-husband for forgiveness. While married I had and affair and I fully expected him to refuse to give me the forgiveness I was seeking, but at least I would have obeyed the Lord. When I finally faced him and asked for his forgiveness, he stunned me by saying he had been thinking he needed to ask for my forgiveness for being a lousy and abusive husband and father. I had gone seeking forgiveness for my actions and left with a reconciled relationship. No, we would not be getting married again, as I was now a Christian and he was not walking with the Lord. But our forgiving one another made a world of difference in how we dealt with each other and our children. This reconciliation also gave us the freedom to move on in life without carrying anger and resentment into future relationships. The Lord did an unexpected healing in those moments of humbleness and forgiveness.
After giving birth to a sweet baby boy at only 4 months along and knowing that he was fine, it was my body that gave way, I honestly thought I may not recover to raise my then 18 month old son. The Lord kept telling me “get away alone”. Alone was the scariest place on earth. I never wanted my husband to go back to work much less me go somewhere alone, but He demanded and I from great experience knew it was best to obey. I drove one hour south to Nashville to a bed and breakfast. I unloaded the car, crawled into the fanciest bed I have ever seen in my entire life and then came back, 3 days later, another woman. T-Totally healed! His presence is life changing, especially when uninterrupted by the fast pace we call life. I will never be able to thank Him for that recovery. It could have taken years. According to this fallen world, it should have taken years, but He did it seemingly overnight! I praise you Jesus!
Kelly Bullock
Clarksville, TN
I’m not sure I can pick only one. The most recent ones are ones I’m still mulling (or as I usually say, “mauling”) over in my mind.
My “aha” moment came this past spring, after battling with depression for about 3 years, and feeling that God had let me fall, it became very clear in an instant.
A few years ago, I was involved in a womenâs bible study, and I canât remember exactly what we were studying, but I became aware that I was not totally dependant on God, and I wanted to be. I prayed about it, and decided to let God have complete control of my life. I wanted to rely on Him completely. This seemed to lead into a time of depression, and for the past couple of years, I felt that God let me fall and I didnât feel Him âcatchâ me. I have struggled with this, as I really want to rely on God, and I want to be able to say that I am totally satisfied with Him. I want to be able to honestly say that Christ is all I need, and up until this point I have not felt that way.
However, through the study âBreaking Freeâ, God has opened my eyes to something new. I am aware of how wrong I have been for most of my Christian life. Iâve had the head knowledge for a long time, but my heart has been somewhat closed. I think I have been afraid that God will somehow let me down.
Although I went through a time of depression, and I felt myself fall, I think Iâm beginning to see why. During this bible study, one day I suddenly opened my eyes (actually, I know that God opened my eyes). I had spent a lifetime (probably 25+ years) doing things my way. Yes, I asked Jesus into my heart at an early age, but for most of my life I have been trying to please other people. I put my trust in myself, and in doing good things, and doing things my way. Iâd built a huge âKaty Mountainâ as it were. I made my life look the way I thought God wanted it to look. Instead of letting God lead, I went my own way, pushed through, expected God to tag along and bless me when I thought necessary. I did all the things I was âsupposed to doâ. I went to church, read my bible and did a bunch of âgoodâ things, but did I really Believe God? Maybe sometimes.
I realize now that I was standing on a huge âKaty-made Mountainâ of selfish desires, pride, legalism, hopes, wants and dreams that were all about me and what I thought my life should look like. It took 25 years or more to build that mountain, and with childlike faith, I said, âOkay God, lets do it your way nowâ. I took a step of faith and expected God to catch me, but it didnât quite happen that way. That brings us to today. Up until this point, I felt as though God let me fall, and that He wasnât there to catch me. In my head, I knew that He was with me all along, but I couldnât feel Him, and I couldnât understand why He let me fall. I realized recently, that God never let me hit rock bottom. In Godâs infinite wisdom and mercy He knew that I needed to âfallâ to learn my lesson. I needed to realize that Godâs way is best. As Isaiah 55:8-9 says,
âFor my thoughts are not your thoughts,
neither are your ways my ways,”
declares the LORD.
9 “As the heavens are higher than the earth,
so are my ways higher than your ways
and my thoughts than your thoughts.â
Godâs ways are so much higher than my ways. I mentioned that I realized that God never let me hit ârock bottomâ. I pondered this as I thought of that huge mountain I had made, and I realized that I had a long way to come down. It hit me that God never actually let me âfallâ at all. I was only bungee-jumping and God was holding onto the cords the whole time. Never once did He let anything happen to me that He was not in full control of. Praise the Lord!!
I hope and pray that I have learned my lesson, and donât try to make another mountain on my own. I want to climb the mountain that God has planned for me. I want to take it one step at a time â in His time â I want to follow Him. If He leads me into another valley, or if He wants me to stay right here, thatâs fine with me. I hope I donât ever have to go bungee-jumping again!
I just have to share this link!! I have watched it all weekend and have been so blessed by it. This precious, precious little girl knows her Bible stories. Just click on The Story of Jonah and The Whale. Out of the mouths of babes…
http://www.thetruthunderfire.com/
For many years we had tried to have a second child and after several early term miscarriages, my heart was broken and I began to feel that God just didn’t care or that I was being punished. After years of bitterness, I finally accepted that we were just meant to have one child and made the conscious decision to stop grieving and blaming God for our losses. When our son was 12 1/2 years old, we miraculously were able to adopt our daughter — a process of God moving mountains to get this newborn to us in only a matter of days after we started the adoption process. After we had her home for just a day, God revealed that during the years that I had been so bitter and disheartened, He was working and placing the very people in our lives, who would put our daughter in my arms. I was and still am greatly humbled.
When I was in my early 20’s, I gave birth to a daughter while I was unmarried. For a few years prior, and especially after her birth, I struggled with feelings of insecurity, inferiority, and worthlessness. I was in a Bible study with a group of girls I’d known for years and was very depressed. We were talking about forgiveness and I was telling them how I really believed that God forgave me, but that I just couldn’t forgive myself. One of my friends said, “Then you’re sinning.” I was shocked and told her that I didn’t think I was sinning, that I believed God forgave me, and that I didn’t understand how having a hard time forgiving myself was a sin. She replied, “You’re believing Satan’s lies instead of God’s truth. God says that you’re a new creation, that the old has gone and the new has come. When you’re not forgiving yourself, you’re choosing to believe Satan instead of God.” It was like a veil was lifted from my eyes and my heart and I finally understood. I’d heard variations of this over time, but it was told to me so plainly that night that it changed me forever. I was able to let go of so much shame and guilt and was able to stop punishing myself for the sins of my past. It was a life-changing moment. Years later, I heard Beth say (I think it was in the fruit of the spirit study), “Constantly thinking little of ourselves is still constantly thinking of ourselves.” That was a reinforcer and reminder of that past moment when life changed for me because I still have stabs of those feelings come from time to time because of how my sins affected those I love. Thinking little of myself isn’t being humble, it is believing the lies of Satan instead of the truth of God. Thanks to Jesus for opening my eyes! I’m so thankful and love Him so much!
I am a 55 year old single woman and the primary caregiver to my elderly mother which seems to consume my life. Yesterday I was feeling so depleted. I went to church and served in the childrens ministry which is my passion, but I just felt so empty. Driving home I started pouring my heart out t,o God and in an almost audible voice He said, “praise Me!”. I started singing and it seemed like the clouds parted. He was so present…so in the moment. He healed my heart and filled the emptiness. Praise His Name!
Beth: First – it was WONDERFUL to see you, Curtis, Amanda, Melissa, Travis, Paige, Chris, Selma, and Esther Burroughs at Ridgecrest. The women’s ministry leadership training was excellent! The message Curtis brought early Thursday morning was a highlight for my heart, and Melissa’s session Wednesday afternoon was powerful. She is as gifted as she is beautiful! Loved seeing Amanda there to support her family. She is so gracious.
I know I took up space for my “meaty paragraph” above, and since I’m a rule follower, I’ll keep this brief. God broke through 3 years of despair on December 10th, 2007 and I’ll never ever forget it – ever. My son and his wife had received news just the day before that they were “punked” (to use your words) by the birth mother, and their proposed adoption had been a scam all along. It’s a long story, but the pain of infertility is deep. December 9th was the darkest day, but on December 10th my daughter-in-law discovered she was pregnant!!! They shared the news with us by wrapping the positive pregnancy stick thingy from the test in a box and having us open it. I barely saw it and knew immediately what it was. We cried and screamed and shouted praise and it was a total antithesis of the day before. Less than 24 hours…my whole world changed. My sweet husband was so funny, he said, “why are they giving us a thermometer?” Bless that man, I love him. We had cried and prayed for 3 years and that moment, everything changed. Praise His Holy Name. It is the reason for my blog, Gran Jan’s Joy!
This is the very first post entitled “The Waiting Room”
http://granjansjoy.blogspot.com/2008_07_01_archive.html
I love you,
Gran Jan
LOVE. THIS. I love the news, and the way God revealed it. Don’t you know God was saying out loud, “WAIT UNTIL TOMORROW!! JOY COMES IN THE MORNING!” And, I love your man’s comment. My hubs is always saying he’s a literal man. I bet yours is too. đ
We just moved to Chicago fall of 09 after living overseas for 5 years. Less than one year later, just as we were settling in and our youngest (high school jr) started making friends, my husband’s job was given to someone else. The decision was not based on performance, but rather politics & power – and was actually quite unethical. The saga continued through the summer and into the fall and I was beside by with the lies and manipulation involved from a few of the executives. If I told the entire story to you and 100 other people, I’m sure you would have all concurred it was unjust and awful. Although I knew I needed to run to God and process the ordeal with Him, I was struggling with my emotions! My Man had been wronged!!! I would talk to God, settle it, and 10 minutes later rehash it all over again! Fortunately, my husband, Peter, has a job. But he is now working in a city 2.5 hrs away – not what we really had planned! But after all of our moves, we believe it is best to let our son finish high school here. Last week during the week 9 video of ‘beloved’, I realized…if God can redeem me for eternity, then why do I not trust Him to redeem this situation? Right then I asked God to redeem this job situation for His good.
There is a young man, Tom, that went to high school with our older daughter. Tom became a Christian in college and is now living in the city 2.5 hrs away where Peter works. Unbeknownst to me, Tom had been praying for someone to mentor him. And when he found out Peter would be in that area during the week, he wondered if Peter would be interested in mentoring him. Would he ever!!! Every since we moved back to the states last year, Peter has been praying God would show him a man to mentor. They are meeting tomorrow morning! Could this whole ordeal be redeemed through this one opportunity? If it draws Tom closer to Christ … you betcha!! I spent all summer being in awe of the problem and the injustice being done. What a pivotal point it was to realize that if God could redeem me through salvation, He could redeem this job situation for His good!
GREAT reminder, Fay. “If God can redeem me for eternity, then why do I not trust Him to redeem this situation? ” That’s going on an index card…
Hi Beth,
I am writing to you from Greece, where I am escorting a group on a “Steps of Paul” tour.
God distinctively broke through my hard-heartedness in 2004 after I had left my husband to pursue a life of rebellion and sin. I had already begun divorce proceedings and my dear husband had just about given up, but friends encouraged him to keep praying for me.
To keep this comment brief, God used about 4 different “strokes” to soften my heart and make an about face in repentance! My husband nearly fell off his chair when I told him that God was changing my heart!
I don’t know why the breakthrough came when it did, or even why the breakthrough came after such a season of hard-heartedness — all I know is, the Holy Spirit did a work in me and has been working ever since to restore trust in our marriage. I have not looked back, but am amazed at how God is using even the sinful times of my life to minister to others and bring encouragement to couples who are experiencing brokenness.
“He is the God who brings the dead to life and calls things that are not as though they are” (Rom 4:17)
Judith
Orillia, Canada
Judith…
I just love the verse you quoted…thanks for sharing.
Your trip sounds amazing!
michelle
Judi- The same thing happened in my marriage! Except we got divorced and then remarried. God hit me with His spirit SO strong on a few different occasions when I was about to make HUGE life decisions. Even bigger than divorcing my husband. The Lord when through GREAT lengths to get me where I am, to change my heart, and to show me that He was holding me and pursuing me the entire time. God Bless you and your husband!
I was actually at ridgecreast when God spoke to me. Since i was saved(when I was 5) I have always doubted my salvation, i think I got saved out of pure fear. Fear of not going to heaven. I had always been uncomfortable worryinf that if I died today would I really go to heaven?
This summer I went to “Fun in the Son” camp at Ridgecreast it was my second ans last year going. All of the people my age went to the party they had for us since, it was our last year. We went with a different church than my home church and I was feeling a little left out. I sat by myself on the first row pew. They brought us to a little church in the mountains where we had a guest speaker. He told us story of one time when he was lost in the woods in the middle of a freezing night and God showed him the way out.
It showed me that God was real and he cared about me. I could feel him through the whole building and inside me. I felt like shouting!! I had so much joy inside! That night I redecaded my life to the LORD and now I KNOW that I am saved. Praise Jesus!
During the grieving time following the loss of a baby that only lived for two days, a message at church that included the verse Psalm 118:24 This is the day the Lord has made, we will rejoice and be glad in it – those words I had heard many times before, instantly broke through the wall of hurt around my heart – and my joy came rushing back in, and God healed me as I knew He would. As soon as the pastor said those words, I knew in my heart I wanted my joy back and it was amazing the way it flowed like a river of blessing so quickly and so fully.
Written out of Love for the Little Children:
Who takes care of the little children
When starvation of love is written on their face
Yet no one is reaching out to them
And their eyse stare at us in every place.
Who takes care of the little children
When they see violence and war everyday
And wonder around in their own little world
On the steet corners where they play.
Who takes care of the little children
When they suffer from lack of love and they are abused
And there is no one to care for them
Then, they grow up feeling life is of little use.
Who takes care of the little children
When they hunger and need to be fed
And they need to have warm clothing
Or a place to lay their sweet head.
Who takes care of the little children
When they suffer with pain or disease everyday
And sometimes they can no longer hold on to life
Then, they slowly pass away.
Who takes care of the little children
When broken homes do not mend their broken hearts
And they are confused, by love they once knew
Now their families are sometimes split apart.
Who takes care of the little children
When they hurt deep inside
Yet they are so sweet and innocent
And seem to touch ourt hearts and lives.
Who takes care of the little children
When broken hearts will not mend
Let Love pick up all the pieces
And Let “JESUS” be their friend!
~joyce~
God bless you. My heart goes to all of you in Christ.
The Lord gave me the gift of peace, quite literally. On April 19, 1996, my husband and I suffered the loss of our baby girl during my eighth month of pregnancy. The shock, pain, grief… wrapped up in anger and desperation, were too much to bear.
It was about two weeks later when my prayer to God was to help me understand what my daughters life is like, at this moment. An infant needs care. An infant needs her mother. Was she helpless? I envisioned a helpless little baby, but needed to know that wasn’t the case.
The following day we were at the YMCA, where my 3-year old daughter was taking a swim class. We were sitting outside the locker room, where adults were helping these children dry up and change into their clothes. A woman came around the corner and down the long hallway with her little girl, a toddler who seemed to have just figured out how her little legs could walk. They walked down the long hallway to wait outside the locker room also. This adorable little girl walked straight over to me, sitting there on a bench, and put her beautiful little head on my lap. She laid her head on my lap for about 10 seconds, looking up at me.
God gave me peace. He calmed my heart. I now had a vision of my daughter, a happy little girl… not a helpless infant.
He spoke to me. ME. He eased my pain in a beautiful way.
I apologize for posting so late – after thinking & rewriting, I can’t get it any shorter – so here goes, for whomever may be blessed by this testimony.
Even tho I grew up in a loving family, attending a Baptist church, I never felt âgood enoughâ.
I believed the lie that I was not worthy to be loved-due to childhood misinterpretations, I think. At 50, I found myself divorced, depressed & in a pit (not realizing thatâs what it was). But I was desperate for real change inside. My âStephen Ministerâ, Nancy is a dear sister who started showering me with Christâs unconditional love. I called her often to hear it!!!!! But it seemed like a bottomless cup – I couldn’t really grasp in my heart that God could really love me. Nancy suggested a visit to a local Christian counselor. I have been to other counselors trying to fix this hole in me, but none as Godly as this woman. After about an hour of my rambling about my life, she broke in with the confession that she had been praying the whole time I was talking â and God had impressed on her to play a certain song for me. She asked me to close my eyes while listening. It was âYou cannot go below my resting armsâ by David Kauffman (http://www.goodforthesoulmusic.com/Listen_Be_Still.htm) I heard God speaking to me!!!!!
After the song, she declared that the Lord had given her some instructions for me. I was to sit in my rocking chair â âwait,â she confided, âI told Him I should ask you if you have one, do you?â I nodded, âYesâ. So she laughed at her silliness in not believing Him and continued, âput your blankie around your shoulders, and as you rock, believe He is holding you and healing you.â (yes, I had to tell her that He knows that I also have a blankie). I was overcome with awe that God would reach out to me so specifically!!! Rocking in His arms has been one of the most awesome healing experiences of my life!! The barrier is gone â I TRULY believe that God loves me. I am still quite a child on this path and there is still a scar there, but the open wound is GONE! Because of that, I have been able to hear Him speaking to me in love, instead of only condemnation. Thatâs when I was introduced to your ministry, Beth! I saw you in person in Phoenix, tho I was afraid for you to see me! But I listened to your audio broadcasts and caught the part of the Nehemiah study that you devoted to forgiveness â I purchased those mp3s and listened to them over and over and over until they really sunk in!! Now, one day at a time, the layers are peeling back, as this season of my life unfolds, I’m constantly learning new spiritual truths, and Jesus is holding my hand the whole way!!! Thank you Jesus!!!!!!!!!!!!
With much love, Barb
Dear Beth, this has nothing to with your blog post, but I just thought you needed to know the difference you are making. I have been in your Esther bible study with my church for almost 11 weeks now (its coming to an end). I loved you so much and related so well that I decided to find out what other books/studies you have written. I picked up So Long, Insecurity 3 days ago and just finished it last night. What an incredible book for women. I have been so fearful my whole life and never knew that it caused all my insecurities. Praise God that He spoke through you and your book because I can now work on getting secure and fearing no more. Everything was drenched in insecurity but now I can pursue my God-given dreams and not hide my gifts and talents any longer. Ive always been afraid to sing out loud, always afraid of rejection and that I won’t be good enough…insecurity of who God made me to be. No longer will I let the devil have a foothold in insecurity. Maybe I will see you on the stage someday…God willing đ
Thank you for being an awesome friend when I felt I had none (even though you don’t know me, in your videos and books it feels like you are my best friend because you relate so well). Thank you for allowing God to use you in such a mighty way to change peoples lives. God is amazing through you and I hope to follow in your footsteps.
There’s so much more I could blab about, but point is: you have and continue to make a difference in my life. I appreciate you so much. As tough as that book was to get through (and yes, very “messy”!!…extremely messy…)it was much needed and God is using it to change my life and do a reversal of destiny.
Sincerely,
Blair
My husband and I had been in pastoral ministry for 20 years. The last 9 of that planting a wonderful church. We were having the time of our lives seeeing lives transformed for Jesus. Then the LORD called us to be the directors of Church Planting for the Assemblies of God, Michigan. We knew it was GOD, however it was not just a job change but a life change. My husband traveled and spoke at churches every weekend while the kids and I stayed home and went church shopping. (can I mention I loathe church shopping.) That was just the tip of the iceberg of changes. Before I knew it I was spiraling down in a spinning vortex. Sickness & Depression snuck up on me; and when Momma ain’t happy…
Long story short(er) 4 years later as I was lying in a hospital bed with an unknown illness the Lord spoke to my heart from Proverbs 31, the intimidator of all women til we realize she had servants, đ But HE spoke to my heart the verse, “She got up while it was still dark and took care of her family.” The Lord gave me some loving admonishment and said, “you may feel like you are in the dark, but it’s time for you start taking action. Get out of bed and take care of your family. Your 10 year old daughter is running the house. She needs to be 10.)
Thought I didn’t FEEL like it , or WANT to, I had to CHOOSE. SO I made the choice to get out of bed, stand on the WORD and TAKE ACTION in spite of my mood, emotions, or health. EASY? No way. Freeing? You better believe it!