Good morning, Siestas! I just had a malfunction on the moderation page and, when I closed down and tried to reopen, I think it may have eaten about nine comments to the previous post. I’m so sorry if yours was one of them! I hate when that happens. All four Jones and Melissa, and I are packing up and heading to North Carolina to be part of a gathering near Asheville at Ridgecrest Conference Center. We are so excited to be together and to serve together. We also can’t wait to be with Travis who is family to all of us Moore/Jones/Fitzpatricks. We wish Angela, Jack, Lily Kate, and Levi were going, too! That would be the ultimate. We’ll also have so many other friends there – a reunion of sorts in a lot of ways. Anyway, you won’t waste a prayer on any of us. We never get this thing down. We pray not to get in the way of the Holy Spirit and that the pleasure of Christ will be upon us all. The group will be smaller than our LPL gatherings which means we’ll be able to see many faces and hug lots of necks. It will be water to our thirsty souls.
OK, so it’s TUESDAY! And that means it’s time for you to talk. Here is today’s topic:
Talk to me about a memorable time in your life when God broke through your hardheartedness, doubt, numbness or bitterness (or maybe even grief) with what almost seemed like a single stroke. In other words, has there ever been a time in your life when an event, a moment, or sudden revelation was used by God to crumble a wall that had long since been in place? I’ve been mulling over how a single God-ordained moment can change an entire season. If you’ve had one of those, describe it. After so many other things hadn’t “worked,” why do you think the breakthrough came like it did? (Keep in mind, some things just remain mysteries to us.) Take your time and think it through. Let it cause you some thanksgiving while you’re at it.
I will look so forward to your answers! You are dear to me, Sisters. May Christ be continually attracted to this community we call Siestaville.
The emotions just wash over me. God broke through my broken heart, my stubborn will, my despair during a rain storm. Had it not been lighting at the time I would have laid in a field flat on my back with my arms stretched out and receive Him… Michael W Smith’s lyrics “Let it rain, Let it rain, open the floodgates of heaven”. After marital troubles, feelings of no longer being needed or wanted by teenage children, and suicidal thoughts. God opened the floodgates of heaven and was there for me and He will never forsake me. Oh how I love Him. He is my all in all. He saved me from death spiritually and physically. He is my life, He is my manna. He has opened so many doors, clung to my hand, taught me so much about Himself I am in awe. Thank You Lord I will praise You all of my days and testify to Your love.
decision made, on way, wont get there tonight, but am on way. peace.
Many years ago when my children were small, my husband had to travel for work a lot. We lived a couple of hours from family and didn’t have any close friends nearby. I would panic every time I learned he would have to be away. I was terrified something would happen and I wouldn’t be able to handle it. I could not sleep at night for fear of a fire or break-in and I wouldn’t be able to rescue my children. It was a horrible time as irrational fear completely controlled me. I remember feeling alone, abandoned, and literally swallowed alive by fear.
I was a believer and would cry out to the Lord. Unfortunately, I mostly prayed for Him to bring my husband home and keep him there. After one desperate prayer I heard the Lord say to me, “What can your husband do to save you when he is just a man?” With that one sentence I realized I had been putting my husband in the role of my savior and protector when he was just a mere man. It was as if a light bulb went on over my head. I always knew the Lord was in control in theory, but now I understood it. I had not been putting my trust in Him to be my protector. With that simple question I realized how silly I had been and was completely delivered from the fear. I repented and learned to put my trust in the Lord. My husband still travels for work a lot and although I miss him, I no longer feel frightened. My Lord is my strength and salvation.
Another thing about the word He gave me, it did not come to me in a condescending manner but in a quiet, compassionate way. I really felt the love of my Father in that gentle rebuke.
Beth – quit making me cry! It is a difficult task, either happy or sad tears everytime I get on this blog! Thankfully I know my Siesta’s are right there with me. 🙂
A couple years ago my marriage came crumbling down around my husband and I. I had every “right” to leave but God was asking me to stay. One morning, I was begging God to release me from my marriage and was so angry that I felt no peace about leaving. I saw no way out of the pain that was clouding me and I couldn’t imagine living the rest of my life tied to someone in bondage to sin. God had been patiently speaking the last few days prior that He would restore our marriage but I kept throwing it back at Him thinking there was no way, look at our history! On this particular morning, God spoke Isaiah 42:9 and my resolve and bitterness melted. Tears streamed down my face as I looked it up and read,
“See former things have taken place, and new things I declare. Before they spring into being, I announce them to you.”
Today, 3 yeasrs later I stand beside my husband serving in ministry. Knowing that God does heal, restore and has built up a marriage that glorifies God. I see God working in my husband in unspeakable ways and know that I would have missed all of it if I’d walked away. Praise the God we serve, the relationships we build with Him through our pain and the unconditional love He pours out on us in our unbelief.
Praise Him and His restoration in your lives!
Praise God! I too walked through a dark place recently with a relationship. Thank God that He not only restored, but brought about an even stronger bond of love and contentment. Siesta’s, it is NEVER too late for God to restore a relationship…..give it all over to Him today.
I’m an only child. My parents divorced when i was about 10 and both parents then proceeded to fumble as parents, over and over and over and over again. I’m being nice here. The bitterness in me stacked for years, and with both of them untrustworthy, and no siblings, I was stuck. I proceeded to do many ricidulous things and assert myself into many messes…..some of which stuck on me for many years. About a year after I committed my life to Christ….in a quiet moment while I was at home alone (in my own home)….I realized that like I would never “earn” Jesus’ forgiveness, my parents would likely never “earn” mine…well, they weren’t even trying. But something in my spirit taught me that day about the power of releasing everything at just looking at them like they were new. He mysteriously cut me loose of my bitterness that day. 11 years later, still no bitterness. It was a revelation in one moment and that wall did crumble. I had been chained to unforgiveness, but no longer. It’s amazing what can happen in an afternoon of silence. And – James 1 “count it all joy” was truly the scripture taught on a TV sermon just a few months before, that changed my life. Blessings on you, Beth.
Most of the healing I’ve experienced from the Lord during times of grief/numbness/bitterness/pain -have been sojourns thru the hard place where God has shown up consistently “in the midst of the hard.” Staying as close to Him as I can thru taking in chunks of the Word and dialoging with Him (prayer) have been what’s kept me steady and moving forward. One instance did pop into my mind, however, when I read your post, of a time when, in an instant, God showed up and broke off pain. I had come thru a long season among a group of believers where there had been a lot of pain in the midst of the group. The leaders of this group either refused to acknowledge the pain or they just didn’t know what to do with it; so it was easier for them to ignore it (I’m purposefully being nuanced here). Many of those in the community left, often with deep, searing scars of hurt. During this time I prayed for this group of leaders – that I wouldn’t have a hard heart towards them and their struggle with leadership, but that God would heal all involved. The grief and weight of this season was substantial. It hurts so very much when you’ve invested who you are, what you have to give (time, talents, treasure) and years of your life to a community that is systemically dysfunctional. I kept praying – because I knew to do less would only set me up for a really brittle, bitter spirit. One day there was a prayer time when this group of leaders was praying for those of us in the community (and know that as individuals, I dearly loved each one of these folks. It’s just as a team they struggled to effectively, safely lead others). I went for prayer (it was interesting being prayed over by those I’d spent so much time praying for) and instantly – like where I could feel a change – the weight and grief lifted. I didn’t try to overanalyze what God had done in that moment. I just gratefully received it and told myself I wasn’t going to go back and re-visit it in my mind all the prior pain and hurt. I would just let the Lord have the final say on that chapter by sweetly bringing peace and calm.
Beth and Siestas,
God allowed me to loose my job 23 months ago. I had an income that many single women would dream of! (Lots of shoes in the closet.) Being able to purchase what I wanted when I wanted to and not have to ask or discuss it with anyone was nice to say the least. Whenever my church had a pledge drive or wanted to do something I could write a check and not think twice about the amount.
Then I felt like the rug was snatched out from under me. I prayed to God reminding Him of His promise to those who pay their tithe and offering. But the answer I received was that my trust was in my ability to provide for myself. Classic pride. My trust needed to be in Him providing for me.
Since the job loss I did get another job making barely half of what I used to make. My trust has had to be completely in God. I have sold most of real my jewelry (can’t sell the fake stuff), cut out the fun stuff (no movie in the last 6 months) and shopping has been out of the question this year. The breaking point came when I went 4 days with out power at my home because I could not pay the bill.
Crazy as this may sound, those were the best 4 days of my life! It was me, God, candle light and the dog. I was finally broken to the point of depending fully on Him to supply my needs and He did! In those 4 days without the distraction of TV, radio and internet I could hear Him speak to my heart.
I know beyond a shadow of a doubt that God loves me and that ALL my help comes from the Lord.
Jamie
http://www.saltyandbright.blogspot.com
Wow Jamie…awesome story! That really ministers to me.
Wow! What a testimony, Jamie. And I’m sure God continues working in and through you in all this identity adjustment. Thank you so much for sharing your story. I love how God used so many ways to get your attention focused back on Him… power getting shut off is good; something I need to do at my house : ) Blessings to you~
Thanks for sharing that. It brought tears to my eyes.
Oh yes – do I ever have a story about this very thing!
Without going into details, I had sinned against a very dear person to me (it was quite substantial). I had repented before God, but could not bring myself to confessing to my friend what I had done. I knew beyond a shadow of a doubt (although I certainly did look for doubts…!)that my Lord wanted me to confess. This went on for months. I didn’t obey Him. And I knew that pride was at the root of it.
I cannot tell you how gentle He was with me. What a merciful, merciful, merciful God.
Well…my friend eventually came to ME. In tears. And confessed the very same sin against me. Can you believe it?!? I sat there dumbfounded and was able to join in the tears and we each confessed and forgave and loved well.
This friend is my husband and that moment was a marking point in our marriage. There is nothing so sweet as blazing God’s light of forgiveness and restoration on the darkness of the secrecy of sin.
All praise to Him.
Amen! He did the same for me. Rejoicing with you!
I am currently grieving the loss of my brother who was murdered in January of this year at the age of 27. And throughout the year God has used several different things that have shown me that my brother is safe in his arms. I think affirmation is the most comforting when we are in the midst of tribulations and trials in our lives. I have felt that this year by the Holy Spirit working in me to feel and see things I never would have before.
Oh Heather,
I cannot imagine your pain. Praying that the Holy Spirit will continue to anoint you with His sweet healing oil or gladness and restoration.
Have a wonderful time at Ridgecrest! I love that place and it is so close to me. May God show off for all of you this week!
I would have to say that God gave me a breakthrough or knocked down the wall with my ex husband. This took a good few years and I can’t explain the exact moment or even the exact verse God spoke to me other than to say it was a release in my heart and I didn’t hate him anymore. I felt the love of Christ for him and I have been praying 13 years for his salvation, not to get back together but truly for his salvation. Actually the Holy Spirit just reminded me as I was typing this the moment it happened. I was having my quiet time on my deck one morning and I felt God leading me to apologize to him, in my pain I said some ugly things to him. I emailed him and told him I was sorry for the hurtful things I said to him and after that came the release. It was one of the hardest things GOd asked me to do but it was a part of my healing and breakthrough. God is Good!!
I have had a very difficult relationship with my dad for many years and many reasons (seeing lots of them in Breaking Free) but many years ago when I had several small children, we had gone up for a visit at their cabin by a lake. It was under construction and I wanted to make sure we were a help to them and not ever in the way so I was constantly on alert to keep everyone from irritating my dad. I asked my mom if I could help her do anything before dinner, but she had a friend over and they were enjoying a visit and doing the prep at the same time and prefered it that way so she thanked me and told me to go relax. I finally went and sat down, pretty exhausted from being on guard the whole day. My dad came over, saw me sitting there and had a fit that I was relaxing while my mom was working on the dinner. I tried to tell him I had just checked with her but he wouldn’t listen and I got angry back and was disrespectful to him.
I was in tears of hurt and anger–that nothing I ever did met with his approval and how unfair it all was when I was trying so hard, etc. etc., when suddenly God told me I needed to go apologize to him.
***NO WAY!!***
We call it “the deathiest thing” when you know God is saying something like that and no amount of reasoning with Him is going to change His mind. So, after fighting and arguing with God for a bit, and crying over the pain of it all, I went and apologized to my Dad for speaking disrespectfully to him. He accepted my apology, never made one of his own and that incident was considered closed as it stood.
But since *that* moment, my Dad has loved and cared for me as he never did in his whole life! It’s been 20 years since that happened and my Dad is my biggest fan and we are closer now than I could ever have imagined.
Who but God could ever have imagined that outcome? Isn’t He amazing!
Always warmest greetings to you Siesta Mama Beth,
I will pray for you all for this gathering in NC. I thought of two or three moments that I thought might qualify for what you are looking for…one rises to the top. The most vivid moment was one night at One Day 2003 in Texas. I remember it well because it was a literal storm I will never forget. I remember you were there as one of our speakers too. I was in a season of horrible sin when I came to the event. I was hoping that by my coming that I could maybe clear my head and find Him again, because I knew that what I was doing was outright rebellion and He wanted me to repent. I knew a storm was brewing, and it became literal. I came there to meet with Him, and He came to meet with me. It was a marked wake up call to me, that night. There has to be a reveverent fear of God in us. I had to wake up, repent, and deal with my past to allow Him to diffuse it as you say, so that He might use it for His glory. That is what I learned then. That sanctifying awe. Now, I’m finding out, at the same time, a compulsion to cry out, “Abba, Father! Help me! I need You!” He is our Father in loving discipline. The passage in Joel that the event focused on, I returned to that passage while I was doing my in vitro and examined it again-about 7 years later. He wants our entire obedience and for us to be holy as He is Holy. To truly hate what is evil and cling to what is good. To have clean hands and a pure heart. Please, please, Father, may it be so in me! in us!
Wow. What a topic! How do I pick just one? Well, just yesterday, I felt like God spoke right into my quiet time and study. It was amazing. Like the lights went on… with 100 watt bulbs!
I have been struggling for a long time with “worship”. You know, I was raised with the teachings that those that worship with their hands raised and their cheeks soaked with tears were just emotional radicals. We never showed our emotions in church. No matter that my dad walked out on my mom while the pastor stood in our driveway… No tears were shed, except mine. But I was in the privacy of my bedroom watching the events unfold from my window unnoticed. After that, “they” told my mother that she could no longer teach at the christian school or in S.S. because God “sets divorced people on a shelf.” (I’m not kidding.) I realize now that environment shames you into keeping your feelings boxed up inside.
I’ve sinced switched to a more loving and accepting congregation, where I indeed feel loved and free to express myself. However, my struggle with allowing myself to freely worship still plagues me. And the more I study and the more I learn, it still is like a wall before my eyes. I can’t figure it out!
Then yesterday… I am studying “Living Beyond Yourself”, “Believing God”, and “The Search for Significance” right now, all kinda simultaneously. (Yes, I feel like a ravenous creature, so hungry and unable to be filled up.) I can’t even put my finger on what I was reading that prompted these thoughts… Must be the Holy Spirit! Anyway, this is what I journaled under “God Stops”: “Right this minute, I sense the Holy Spirit leading my thots… I’ve always heard that our relationship with God isn’t an emotional thing. That it’s not based on our FEELINGS! Yet, we’re instructed to LOVE- out of obedience. No wonder it’s been so hard!! LOVE is an emotion! Yes, it’s also an action. But WOW!!My feelings ARE indeed wrapped up in my worship and my service and my relationship with You, God! Hallelujah!! YOU are GOD!!!”
It’s like I suddenly understand! Yes, I love God and that means I can be crazy about Him and His Word and His people. And I realize that even the songs I love so much appeal to my emotions, and that’s why I want to throw my hands in the air to worship my God and my Savior. My love for God can indeed show!
Beth, the only 2 times that I was in a worship service where I felt I could risk raising my hands without any penalty were 2 simulcast events you had this past year: The SLI simulcast in April, and the LPL simulcast in September. And I came away feeling full and ministered to. (It’s kinda sad- I’ll be 50 soon, and I’m only just now learning this?)
So, today, I’m basking in God’s love for me and also just resting in my love for Him and knowing that I don’t have to hide it from my fellow believers. What freedom! What JOY! 🙂
Right this second, I hear on the radio “Oh How He Loves” by David Crowder Band. God’s amazing, isn’t He??!!!
Hey, fellow siestas… Anyone else out there that would love to see Beth in Philadelphia?!!
Kristi, I can totally relate to what you are saying. It took me years to be able to kick my shoes off and dance before the Lord, but I am so thankful I finally got over my fear. And…btw…50 is pretty nifty!
AND…Oh yes, oh yes, oh yes!!! I have lamented for years that we have to travel so far. All of the exciting conferences seem to happen south or west. This Philly girl would LUVVV it! Are you aware, Beth, that Philadelphia is known as “The City of Siesterly Love”??
Oh, Ginny! “Siesterly love”?? I LOVE that!! It’s brilliant!
So, are you in Philly or somewhere close to the city??
Actually I live in Cape May, NJ but I grew up just outside the city and am definitely a Philly girl at heart! How bout you Kristi?
I live about 30 miles northwest of Philly. Close to the Notheast extension of the PA turnpike. Hmmm. I’ve never been to Cape May, but I hear it’s gorgeous.
Oooh. Good one, Mama!
Okay. There was a particularly long season of oppression that I just was not handling well. I layed down and quit fighting the enemy. I had given up. Forgotten who I serve & who is on my side. Then, get this…..
One day I purchased a new battery for my cell phone. When I got home I threw the old battery into an old phone just in case. I didn’t want to lose it. I tossed the old phone into a drawer in my bedroom and didnt give it a second thought. That very evening I was totally overwhelmed. I felt like a failure, helpless, and completely alone. I bawled myself to sleep. Apparently with a battery in it, that old phone in the drawer turned itself on. And out of the blue, at 5:00 am it started playing an old recording. I woke up to the sound of you Shouting, “I’m a this, not a that! A THIS, not a that! Get out of the puddle and into the pond!” I couldn’t figure out why you were yelling at such an hour & where in the world it was coming from. Scared me half to death! It just kept repeating. I started to say it with you. “I’m a THIS. I’m a THIS.” Something in me changed that moment. I finally believed it. I understood. A lightswitch just flipped on. I think maybe the undeniable fact that God was definitely wanting my attention that moment showed me I had no choice but to listen. I got out of bed, recited the pledge of faith from memory for the first time in 2 years, stomped my foot with anger at the enemy & kicked his butt. For good. Hallelujah!!! The end :•}
I was dating a guy that was leading me down roads I had no business going…and I was going willingly. While I had agreed to marry him, I knew that he would never change but I was afraid that he was the only guy that would ever love me. God started convicting my heart and I began the process of breaking it off with him. I tried many times, but I always let him back in. One day I met another guy who really started talking to me about what I deserved and I started praying that God would give me courage and power to break the relationship completely. I prayed before the guy came over and I broke it off. I literally felt the peace come back into my life. I had a smile on my face and joy in my heart. I started back working on my relationship with God and the guy…the one that talked with me…I have been married to him for 25 years now!
You name it, I was in a place where I was not serving God with my whole heart. A lot due to the death of my mom when I was 21(she was 44) and the grief that overshadowed my heart.
I am a Baptist girl, but was sovereignly sent on a “Walk to Emmaus” weekend. While there God began to deal with so many of my heart issues. At one of the last sanctuary services there is a time for communion; and we were instructed to tear off some bread then drop it in a basket (later in the service you go back to the basket and take communion with the bread)as we name the “thing” God is asking us to “deal” with him about.I walked up and whispered, “selfishness”, knowing that my REAL problem was me hanging onto lots of other junk, including my grief. Immediately, God spoke to me and said, “That’s not what I want.” I went and sat in a chair and began to weep and whispered to our Father,”Then what DO you want”? And he said, “I want it all, I want all of you”.
I know that on that day, after being a life long Christian, God changed my heart. He renewed my spirit and lifted me out of the miry clay. Now goodness knows my life is FAR from perfect, but I no longer allow my sinful nature to drag me into living a life that God did not intend. I know God is faithful and that no matter what life brings Gos will bring about his great glory through my obedience.
I love emmaus..what an awesome story of Gods redemption.. I have watched the walk to emmaus and the encouter with Gods’ love there change so many lives in my family– including mine 🙂
Ten years ago my husband and I went through a difficult season in our marriage; a season that I was prepared to come out of alone. I was angry and bitter. I was praying to God asking for wisdom and strength, but not praying for Him to save my marriage. After months of struggling we decided to separate. I will never forget this moment. We were sitting at the table discussing how we would handle custody of our daughter (at that time we only had 1). During this conversation God spoke to me and said, “Child, this is not my will for you!” I swear it was His voice plain as day echoing in my head. I broke down in tears, and asked my husband to forgive my hard-heartedness. In hindsight (isn’t it great how that works), this season opened the door to deeper marriage and relationship with Him. We will be celebrating our 15 year anniversary this year, and we now have 3 daughters. I have learned that it is only through surrender to Him and His will that we truly have freedom.
Recently, I had a God given revelation in a situation that I thought I had completely figured out! I saw this situation one way, and all the evidence clearly indicated it to be just as I thought it to be. But then out of the blue, completely unexpectedly, an entirely different thought “occured” to me and as I sat down and examined the ‘evidence’, I realized how wrong I was and I know without a doubt God gave me a true understanding of this situation! He, in his mercy and love, gave me insight that was nothing short of having the ‘lights turned on’! It was like electric shock therapy zapping me into reality! And I am ever so grateful! Praise God he does not allow us to continue wandering in the wilderness of our “I’ve got it all figured out” foolish notions!
I’ve been in a very dry season for the past 3+ years. I’d say the bulk of the time I’ve spent angry and bitter at God for allowing such a difficult season. I couldn’t understand why he would withold his presence (or sense of his presence) from me. This carried over into my relationships with other people. “Hard” is a good word for the state of my heart.
Now – and I’d say this is as much by God’s grace as if he had suddenly made some revelation to me – I am finally in a place of contentment in this season. Not 100%, but there is a peace in my heart that I didn’t have before. Trust me this is a miracle because I go down kicking and screaming.
It’s almost like the verse, Psalm 131:2
“But I have stilled and quieted my soul; like a weaned child with its mother, like a weaned child is my soul within me.”
Rather than being angry, hard, or bitter, I’m relying more on the Lord in this desert season, trusting that he has brought me here to speak kindly to me. That he has my best interest at heart. And that there in the desert I will find streams of living water. In his time, in his way.
Interestingly, I heard a talk on Hosea in my Bible study this morning. From how I understand it, the Lord led Israel into the desert to restore her, to betroth her to him. This is love. The desert hasn’t made any sense to me, but I have to believe that it has been ordained by the Lord for his purpose.
So, rather than some earth-shattering event or experience, God is slowly chipping away the numbness and bitterness of my heart. I give him the glory for what he is in the process of doing. And especially for slowing down this type-A-perfectionist-overachieving personality just a little bit. I’d say I’m learning a little more of what it means to be still, and know that God is God.
Beautiful. Thank you.
There was a time in my life when I was so worried about my sweet son. He was recently diagnosed with ADD. He was doing horrible in school acting out at home. Refusing to having anything at all to do with church. I was praying constantly for him. Someone I don’t remember who told me my son was going to be fine. I knew that it was God talking to me. Fast forward 10 years my son is a marine. He is a husband has a lovely daughter and is going to college. And the best things is he loves the Lord! We even go to Church together: )! Praise the LORD!
For months now, since my deadlines at work were changed in one fell swoop, I’ve been fighting God. The change, you see, has meant working nearly every night (I work from home as a medical transcriptionist) with abrupt cessation of nearly all social activities.
For a social butterfly, mama of four boys, and writer of a weekly column besides, it’s been a tough road.
I cried. I screamed (well, inside I did). I begged for deliverance. And I cried some more. “It wasn’t fair!” I think I said. “Why me?” And, “How long?” were some of the other complaints I threw heavenward.
He exposed self-pity, a long-time default mechanism that was far more deeply entrenched than I ever knew.
He exposed self-will and the desire for control.
He exposed all of this and more, and still I could not open my hands and say, “Okay. I accept.”
Then last week I hit chapter four in Chuck Swindoll’s book on the life of Moses. There, he describes the desert time where desert dwellers must take these four courses:
1. Obscurity (where was the ‘next thing’ for my writing career?).
2. Time (how long would this go on?).
3. Solitude (darn right, I had solitude – in spades).
4. Discomfort (and plenty of it, right along with exhaustion).
Efforts to get around these four would only take you in a cul-de-sac. You will not get out, he said, until you accept the desert.
I don’t know why. I don’t know how, but something clicked and for the first time I was able to say, “Okay, God. I accept this. Thank You, thank You. Just- thank You.”
Now, for the first time in I-don’t-know-when, I have felt the joy I used to feel in doing my transcription. I feel His presence in a new and fresh way, and I feel hope springing up. God, I know, is here in my desert, and He will lead me out when the time is right. He makes “streams in the desert” and a way in the wilderness.
I don’t know why now, but I give thanks.
There have been numerous times when I’ve prayed to find something that was lost and the Lord led me directly to it (earring in the carpet comes to mind), but this particular Christmas several decades ago now was exceptional. I had several yrs. before made a ceramic Santa that I displayed with candy canes each season, to the delight of my 2 small daughters. However, it had been lost along the way (several moves ago, or so I thought) and had been noticeably absent for a handful of Christmases. This particular one, I was in a real funk (marriage on shaky ground, younger daughter struggling in school, necessitating a repeat of grade & change of schools). I stopped my decorating, bowed my head and asked the Lord to lead me to the Santa (not very “spiritual”, huh?). I’ve seldom felt His presence so strongly. Immediately after praying, I climbed the ladder to the attic, leaned WAY over & reached my hand into the insulation and – you guessed it – there was the box with the beloved Santa inside. I can’t explain why Jesus chose such a moment to “visit” me, but I could feel His reassuring presence so strongly that I cried uncontrollably for several moments. It was like He was saying to me, “See, I never forget you, turn my back on you or ‘prefer’ someone else over you. I LOVE YOU & I am always with you”. It changed me forever.
I can think of many, but here’s one of my favorites.
I’ve only seriously dated two guys. A few months ago, they proposed to other girls within 24 hours of each other (totally coincidental, unplanned). I don’t know that I’ve ever felt as much fear of being single as I did in the moment I found out that they were both engaged.
That night, I drove out to a little country church that I knew would be deserted. I sat on a bench outside of it and cried my eyes out for two solid hours. I had left both of those dating relationships for very valid reasons (i.e. trust me, I was NOT supposed to be in those relationships). But the sting of realizing that I was still alone just left me stunned.
That night, I told myself that I wasn’t leaving that church parking lot until I had resolved it in my heart that I wouldn’t be jealous and I wouldn’t hate. I wish you could have seen me; I walked around that church a good five times, walked up and down the road leading to it, etc. It took about 3.5 hours before I could (quite literally) say before God “I will not let this be a stumbling block.”
I did really well with it until the day of one of the weddings. That whole day, I kept thinking about the bride getting ready, walking down the aisle, etc. I made myself pray for her each time she came to my mind that day.
That night, though, I was sitting in the Memphis airport waiting for a flight home when it suddenly hit me: they were going on their honeymoon. For some reason, that small fact made me feel like someone had punched me in the gut. I felt anger and bitterness and jealousy rise up in me and, just when it got to the point that I thought it might crest over, I suddenly thought about how God must love that girl as much as He loves me. I know that sounds really simple, but I just suddenly had this whole new revelation of God’s love. He loved her, as she was boarding a flight to go on her honeymoon and He loved me, as I was boarding a flight to go home alone.
I spent the next hour sitting in that terminal, waiting for my flight, thinking about how He may not give me what I want, He may not give me what I think I need, but He loves me. Regardless of what He gives or what He takes away.
Oh sister. I think the time you spent with God in the solitude at that church will serve you WELL for years to come, and in many different situations. I’m so proud of you Siesta! He loves you SO.
I would have to agree with KMac. You will reap what you sowed and God WILL give you what you want, in His timing because of your sweet obedience.
Amen sisters…Amen!
I had been living a life without Jesus for a long, long time! I was in an unholy relationship and had just graduated college when I found out I was pregnant. The guy that I was with convinced me not to have the baby even though I begged, pleaded and cried. It was against everything I ever stood for…I loved children and longed to have them. But I went along with it anyway….oh why did I do that? My poor baby….
Afterward I spiraled down into a deep dark depression. Looking back I can literally see the war waged on my life. God took care of me, even though I hadn’t even acknowledged Him or cried out to Him. He placed me in a job with a wonderful Christian woman. God allowed me to see Him through her. He let her get all the credit, at first, because He knew I would know He was the one in control all along at some point in my journey. He just needed to give me one person I could touch and feel and talk to at that moment. My friend taught me how to pray and have a walking, talking relationship with Jesus. I’ll never forget the moment that I woke up one morning, after dreaming of my sweet child. I was told (in my spirit) to get on my knees and pray. While I was praying I felt His spirit on me. It was warmth that went from my head to my toes, covering me like a blanket. I’ve been in love with Him ever since. He is my all and all!!!!
Uh, today! How crazy is that?! In a nutshell, God moved me from one ministry at our church to another. Not by my choice, mind you, but because the church ended the area of ministry in which I was serving. It fit me so well. This new area where I feel God led me is such a struggle! It causes me to abide in Him more than I ever have- which is a blessing but still so hard on me. I have to be much more purposeful & diligent. (It’s an area working with the youth. That explains it all!) Soooooo- I’ve been mourning my past ministry (preschool) for a while and today God told me to STOP IT! He’s moved me on purpose- His Purpose- and I can praise Him just the same. He’s put a new song in my heart today and I’ve resolved myself to praise Him and quit dwelling in the past because His Presence is no longer there. The cloud has moved and I must follow!
Hon, I’ve taught high school and then preschool, and I can tell you they’re not that different! Enjoy! 🙂
Dearest Beth,
Whooa! Did I ever get a wall to drop! WOW! Like bullets, the attacks came at me like many many times before but this time instead of peircing me threw causing me to die again inside, they fell, likened to hit an invisible wall and drop to the ground at my feet, powerless!
With the little blue tasseled yarn around my wrist, my hand held high, I used my words, “I AM WHO GOD SAYS I AM” I rebuked the enemy who has used my past to haunt my husband then vent his anger towards me for decades! (My story is not what it seems, It would have to be shared another time).
NO MORE! My bewildered husband was speechless! The most amazing thing was, even tho I had rebuked the enemy many times before, I BELIEVED WHAT MY HUSBAND SAID ABOUT ME even tho a lot of it was untrue, I took it in and it crushed me because of what was true!
For over 30 years my husband, my first love, has brought up my past, (I told him after we were married) the events in my life that had forever changed me, identify me, victimize me.
Because of your study Believing GOD, I AM BELIEVING HIM! My husband sees the victory I have. He believed me when I said he’s believing the enemies lies. He now wants to go through your study, he wants to be delivered from the bondage the enemy has on him. It’s profound. I have and continue to weep with joy. Such bondage, so many wasted years and even nights sleep! But GOD, I’m trusting Him to redeem the years…
I’m 61, married 40 yrs. 3 kids, 3 grandkids. I’m the women Bible study coordinator at my church. No one knows our story.
How I found your studies is another story, I just thank our Lord I did and so does about 80 other women at my church!
Thank you Beth, I saw you at Mariers Church in July. I was the gray haired lady at your left, way up towards the back row with hands raised high praisin’ our Savior, it was powerful! Thank you!
I have one more week left of your study Believing God. I want to take the ladies through your Rev. study I bought while I was there with you in July! Be praying, the paster does’nt want us to go thru Rev. unless he picks the study!?
Praying and lovin you sister!
Ritas
Sandy
It’s called Peacemaking for Families, A Biblical Guide to Managing Conflict in Your Home by Ken Sande with Tom Raabe 🙂
I had alot of insecure feelings, wanted to feel loved, felt desperate at times, felt I was not good enough, I was not smart enough and felt alot of guilt about everything__even as Christian.
A friend told me about going to Christian counselling and I went for a long time, but one day my Counselor ask me why I felt I had to be the center of attention__when I was thinking I had gotten to the point where I could handle things better. I went home in tears, thinking I would never get better and wishing I would just die.
This is not to say counselling is bad in anyway, it did help me in alot of areas.
But, then I read Beth’s book on “Insecurity” and I cried my way through it. I prayed to God for His help and I turned everything over to Him. I know now, God is the one whom I can run to when I get those feelings. He is the One I can trust for my insecurity. God is my best friend. God gets the honor and glory for all things!
Wow! This is so timely Beth. First for a little bit of background, my sister was in a very serious car accident at the end of August. She was in ICU for a week and then was moved to a room in the hospital for two weeks before she was released. Now, she has numerous doctor appointments every week. She is a single mother with a three-year old little boy, so he’s practically been living with me since August.
I bought a little Bible story book that has about two pages of a Bible story and then a little verse at the end. Obviously my nephew can’t read yet, so we’ve gotten in the habit of having a little Bible story each night before he goes to sleep. Then, I will say the verse a few times and he will repeat it after me. Last night’s verse was Acts 5:29 – “We ought to obey God rather than men.” The only part of the verse that is listed in the book is “We ought to obey God.” I said that a few times and William kept saying “We ‘got’ to obey God.” He said it that way every time. There has been a particular area of obedience to God that I have not wanted to do. As Will kept saying “We got to obey God”,it was as if God was getting my attention. I am amazed that he used a little three-year old boy. Will doesn’t have a clue. This morning, I asked him again if he remembered last night’s verse. He didn’t hesitate to say, “We got to obey God.”
Let’s call this miracle Carolina. My husband Greg and I had been lamenting and grieving that we were unable to have a baby. I felt the Lord tell me that He wanted us to do IVF. He provided the money and other resources and we believed that through this we would conceive our child.
We started the process of shots, hopped upon hormones and scheduled and forced intimacy. Brutal to say the least. The loneliest part of my life.
One failure down, but some frozen. Oh no wait, none were viable.
Let’s try again. We paid for two times so we thought surely goodness and mercy the Lord is going to give life to us. He did not. Another failure.
Devastating and grief over and over.
He gave us a child in my belly without IVF, but then He took it as soon as I found out it was in my belly.
How could you do this Lord? And besides that He took my dog Jack. Lord do you not want me to be a mommy to anybody?
Long hard days on my knees and even praying with my Bible on my face night after night. Asking others to remind me who God is and who I was to Him.
We began to make plans to move to the city, get a passport and travel and study for PhD. We were trying to move on.
Oh but wait, there were two babies frozen in Colorado that most likely would not be viable. We have to take care of this situation first before we move on.
SO we did. We went without drugs to the doctor and requested the frozen transfer. That day I planned my day according to expected disappointment. I prayed please Lord don’t let then make me get in one of those gowns and blah blah blah.
Next thing I know “Kim come on back, please put on this gown”. I asked “Why?” “Well sweetheart we have one good one and one great one.” They are both viable. NAHUH!
Ok well don’t get your hopes up Kim you have heard this before. Frozen transfers have about a 10% chance and even less when there is only 2 involved.
So I went home with my good and great in my belly. Layed with my legs up for two whole days and didn’t breathe a word to anybody. Didn’t want to jinx it you know.
And then 7 days later my darling husband called me and said “Kimmy you are pregnant!”
Just like that God blew life into the 2% and now she is sleeping quietly upstairs while I am trying to keep her baby sister entertained while I write this comment. He gave me two girls – Carolina and Elizabeth.
He is the love of my life.
My moment of revelation was the day I knew that I truly forgave my spouse after a bitter divorce ( that dragged on for 3 years) and that God revealed to me; my sin, that needed to be confessed also. I could no longer be the “victim” and self righteous person that I had become.
That freedom and relief was incredible and as I started to draw closer to the Lord, HE led me to my 1st Beth Moore bible study at chuch, JESUS THE ONE AND ONLY.
I often reflect back to that day 10 yrs ago and how much I have grown and matured. I truly treasure all of the bible teaching from this ministry.
I was deep in sin and at a fork in the road where I believed my options were either 1. walk away from God because I couldn’t imagine turning to Him, confessing, and trying to be restored after what I had done, or 2. trust God more than I could comprehend.
I was out running and the battle within me was mirrored by the rain storm that swelled around me. It was pelting down sideways and grey everywhere I could see, except off in the distance to the south. There was one break in the clouds where beams of light could be seen stretching down to the earth. I pondered the imagery. I dared to imagine that God may be like that light reaching down to me in my storm. But believing that was a real stretch for where I was at.
About an hour later, I walked into my house and my 5 year old son was peering out the window. Excitedly he proclaimed’ “Mommy, look at the rainbow! Its God’s promise that he will never destroy us again for our sin!” Sounds like such a cliche, but coming from his sweet mouth, given the battle I had just been having in my own mind, that truth pierced my hard-heartedness and began my slow (and very difficult) return to Christ.
L, I’m so glad I read this. Amen, slow and difficult, but He is there. That is true living. Blessings.
L,
Thank you so much for sharing. I couldn’t help but think of that song Merciful Rain by FFH as I read what you shared.
Blessings,
michelle
Wish I had more time to write, but it’s probably good that I need to keep this short! 🙂 (I didn’t have time for the last two Talk Tuesdays, either. Bummer.)
When I heard Casting Crown’s song “Does Anybody Hear Her,” it highlighted misunderstandings I have with my own mother and really cut me to the heart. She has broken so many hearts and hurt so many people in very deep ways, run off with boyfriends and wrecked her life many times over. Even as I type this, I am still calming my heartbeat from a phone call i got from her just a 1/2 hours ago, saying that the man she is staying with has a drinking problem, an unpredictable temper, and way too many guns in the house, and that she had no idea. She also said not to worry if I don’t hear from her for a long time (is that possible?) and that she’s leaving his house and has no idea where she’s going.
I hope that, when she finally can visit with us again, I will not be judgmental or unforgiving. Jesus died for her. And I have to say that one Sunday morning, driving to church, I heard that song for the first time and was convicted and changed forever.
Wow, what a great topic for today. I have been going through a women’s Bible study at church on Saturdays for the past couple of months. The study will conclude this weekend. It was suggested (quite possibly even prophesied) that my salvation experience in March of 2001 could have just been an emotional salvation. I came to the Nashville Rescue Mission on March 2, 2001 after having gone through a lot of abuse in my childhood. Mom didn’t want me anymore, so the next stop was the mission. I thought that I had truly received Christ as Lord and Savior back then, but for the past three days have been in agonizing turmoil, heartache, etc. because of all of this. I attend a four-square church that truly believes in the gifts and power of the Holy Spirit and am now praying and thinking through about this as a possibility. However, because of my childhood, there are doubts and questions that I have in all of this. I know (in my head) that Jesus loves me, yet, how can I trust Him when He says this? This song by David Crowder has been on my heart for the past couple of days:
He is jealous for me, Loves like a hurricane, I am a tree,
Bending beneath the weight of his wind and mercy.
When all of a sudden, I am unaware of these afflictions eclipsed by glory,
And I realize just how beautiful You are,
And how great Your affections are for me.
And oh, how He loves us oh,
Oh how He loves us,
How He loves us all
He loves us,
Oh how He loves us,
Oh how He loves us,
Oh how He loves.
And we are His portion and He is our prize,
Drawn to redemption by the grace in His eyes,
If His grace is an ocean, we’re all sinking.
And heaven meets earth like an unforeseen kiss,
And my heart turns violently inside of my chest,
I don’t have time to maintain these regrets,
When I think about, the way…
That He loves us,
Oh how He loves us,
Oh how He loves us,
Oh how He loves.
I will try to tell this long story with few words. I was part of a ministry several years ago that ended abruptly because of the sin of the ministry director. You cannot even imagine the body count of that one sin. At the time, I was reading Phillip Yancey’s “What’s So Amazing About Grace” and found it very easy to forgive the director for his sins. I was all about grace and forgiveness, but I lacked a lot of maturity and so sought to place blame somewhere else. I somehow shifted the blame of what happened onto the ministry life itself, thinking that full-time ministry required too much of anyone and blaming the church for putting young leaders in a position so set up (I thought) for failure. I continued to work part time in the church and served half-heartedly for YEARS in complete bondage. Every once in a while, I would get a small bit of healing: a conversation with my pastor, an impactful spiritual retreat, I did Breaking Free twice. But it never ammounted to a real whole healing because I was holding back my heart from serving God completely. I was truly afraid of ministry.
It wasn’t until just a couple of months ago when I went through your Revelation lecture series with a group and you challenged us to pray daily for revelation from God. A couple of weeks in, I was sitting in my church singing a song we had sung many times before (“I Went To The Enemy’s Camp”) and God just showed me lightening flashes of revelation.
I remembered that right after the ministry closed down, a friend of mine had told me about a dream she had about all of the insides being stolen out of her car. She said only the shell of the car remained and everything in it–engine, steering wheel, seats, etc–had been removed. In the dream she watched two of her Christian brothers chase down the thief and tackle him. They said, “You will return everything you took and more!” She told me at the time that she felt like the dream was for me. I also remembered suddenly a time when my mom had a dream about a car and she told me she believed that cars in dreams often symbolize a person’s ministry. I am not a big dream interpretation person (it kind of freaks me out!), so I had never connected the dots of those two (years-apart) encounters.
But that night, God showed me that the enemy had taken the wheels and the engine and the drive out of my whole ministry. Only the shell remained. But that if I would yield and stop being afraid, God would make that squirly little thief return everything he took and MORE. I would once again be in a ministry that would have some DRIVE. I now have a freedom I have not had in years. I can raise my hands in worship again. I serve with passion and fervour, turning my mistakes over to His grace. I have repented from my false understanding of grace and begun to really take Him at His word. Why did I not get this from “Breaking Free?” I don’t know. But, boy, did I ever break free at last!
This Siesta is begging to go with you all to Asheville. Can I??
I hope you all have an amazing time!!
Love you all,
Susan
Hmmm…I tell myself after each comment that I leave here that I am not going to do it again but…I can’t resist talking about the Lord God.
Reading the comments, I noticed that a lot of siestas were “changed in a moment” by simply hearing His voice/instruction. What an incredible wonder the Lord God has given us! Each of us can now hear His voice on our own.
My particular story:
I was having a series of dreams (almost every night) for about 6 weeks concerning a dear friend that I lost because they decided to walk/live in intense sin. I knew that my spirit was grieving and that I had taken on more of the responsibility for this person’s decision than I needed to.
One night, lying in bed, I asked the Lord God once again to “open their eyes”. I was honestly to a point of desperation. Have any of you ever reached a point where you just couldn’t pray anymore? Well, I was at that point.
I just laid there in silence, my spirit was not at peace. Then…in that moment, the wonder of that still small voice spoke, “Gina, I have _______ in the palm of my hand.”
All responsibility for this friend fell off of my shoulders in that moment.
Oh my is this profound Mama Beth. I have recently hit a break through. For most of my life I have been fairly thin and never had to worry about my weight at five feet tall. I am in my mid forties and recently this past year I put on some weight that has just refused to come off. It is not that I am fat but I have more weight than I need. I began to believe what Satan was telling me that I was not beautiful. That everything I ate would add a pound here or there, that it was bad for me, etc. I could hardly see how God would find me beautiful with these few extra pounds. I teach at a wonderful Christian school. Some of the lovely ladies and I decided to encourage each other and work on eating healthy etc. I thought oh this would be great. We had weigh ins every Tuesday like weight watchers. I was devastated to see everyone lose weight except me. It broke my heart. I was mad and of course blamed God for HIs lack of help. I didn’t see yet what He was trying to tell me. I have been doing your bible study living beyond yourself. When we got to the part on patience, I realized the teachers I love dearly were my aggravation and made me see the worst in myself and I most impatient with them. It was at this point God opened my heart and the tears began to roll. God sent a dear friend to help me ssee that God sees me as beautiful and that maybe the reason I wasn’t losing weiaght was because He needed me to understand I was beautiful in His eyes. It is ok to want to have healthy bodies but within His plan. I was able to let go of the idea that I was ugly because I had a few pounds extra on my body. I haven’t lost any weight yet, but I have began a new journey with God who is putting my wings back together. I exercise, eat things that are good for me, and for the first time in several weeks, no weigh ins. I have a long way to go but this first step has made me realize how much God loves me for me. It still brings tears to my eyes. Sorry so long…I just wanted others to know God loves us as we are in this place and in this season of life.
love you
Yes, I did experience this “Aha” moment, and oddly enough you were the one who spoke the message. I had been through post partum depression with my third baby and didn’t really recognize it until it passed four months later. I was struggling with deep shame about it and didn’t want anyone to know about it.
Well, fast forward a couple of months. I was in my small group Bible study with my dear, close friends. We were going through your Daniel study. I remember that night we were watching the video about God humbling King Nebuchadnezzar and his time of insanity. And it hit me like a ton of bricks! During my pregnancy I was full of pride, thinking I could handle it all on my own. I didn’t need my mom (whole other issue going on there) and I was invincible! I had it all down by now and this baby was going to be a breeze!
Ha! This baby brought out all my faults and brought me to my knees! I remember leaving Bible study that night shaking and feeling sick to my stomach with the realization that God was doing a refining work in my life and bring me “through the fire.” It was a long process of healing and tearing down walls of pride, but that night God showed me His purpose for me, and it didn’t include a false wall of perfection. Now I can share my faults and journey with others to minister to those who are going through something similar.
The Daniel study changed me in so many ways. Thank you for allowing God to speak to me and so many others through it! 🙂
I grew up in a Bible preaching church and heard about the personal relationship with Christ probably EVERY Sunday. But I was numb to it. I answered every question right, sang “up in FRONT” and looked as pretty as a good Christian girl ever thought she should. At school and around my outside-of-church-friends though, I was the complete opposite. I was a liar and a fake and was deeply ashamed.
One day in college, I was attending a Campus Crusade for Christ meeting (knowing I would party it up later that same night) and I happened to hear with ears that would hear, a girl give her testimony. “…before I had a real relationship with Christ, you would have thought I was the best Christian out there…” I must have blushed because it suddenly grew very hot in the room and it seemed like my heart had just been exposed-big time. I was exactly like that girl and God pinned me to the wall saying, “Do you hear that? You are that girl! Stop playing the game and come to Me!” I can only explain that the Holy Spirit completely filled me at that exact moment because my heart wanted to change. I didn’t party one minute longer and began to live for real, like I had pretended to for so long. I never knew the girl personally, but her testimony was what the Holy Spirit used to reach past the pretenses and penetrate my heart. I’ve been captivated ever since.
I have several of those “single stroke” times with God, but the ones that resonates the most are the several major times He has called me to FORGIVE offenses “the world” would consider “unforgivable”.
It’s always been while reading his Word, God lovingly beats me over the head with ALL THE VERSES on forgiveness and the Holy Spirit convicts me until I obey. It doesn’t work for me to not forgive, because I’m the one who ends up suffering. So in the couple major times I forgave, I listened to God, I obeyed, I forgave, and I am free! God’s grace is so amazing.
Teri
Corpus Christi, Texas
I would like Him to do so and show himself right now. After mental illness devastated my husband last year and left us financially destroyed with 5 kids I came close to not believing anymore. Now I am not sure, church is cultural and comfortable but I have some hard questions that I never feel are fully answered. So God could totally beat me over the head with his presence and I would be grateful, because doubt is misery, but true faith is beyond me right now.
Sister, I have not walked your particular path, but I know the Lord Jesus loves you so. He is patient, and knows your heart and hurt. I pray He shows Himself to you in a very personal way today. He is trustworthy.
I pray you will just keep seeking Him by reading His Word and praying. Life is indeed very tough- I’m still waiting on many answers in my own life- but I do know He is faithful and he is my God- no matter what. That is what keeps me going- I may never have resolution or know the answers to the whys this side of Heaven- but I can trust that someday I will. I’ve often quoted from the Psalms to God about how hard hope deferred is- I’m glad I can be open and honest with Him- and I’m believing for a fulfilled hope in God’s time- whether here or later in Heaven. That is what I cling to. I pray He will reveal Himself to you.
Hang on tight, dear sister. Sometimes faith is just deciding to trust because you don’t know what other option you have. I was at a similar cross road and when I came to the end of my rope, I found God there waiting…asking me to let go with both hands. He will catch you. I promise. He is the only one who can. Praying for and loving you Bobbi…
Dear Bobbi,
I know some of that pain. My brother was diagnosed with mental illness 20 years ago. He has a wife and two small children. Press into God, Dear Siesta, and ask HIM the tough questions. Also, there is financial help for you and your family. My sister in law just finally got into the system. My brother gets financial help each month as do both of his children. Please feel free to email me if you would like and let me offer any assistance I can. First and foremost, you have my prayers. Secondly, get financial assistance. Your husband paid into the system for many years so don’t give it a second thought. And don’t for one second doubt God’s presence. Believe me, He is all over you and your family. He is working out things and fighting battles on your behalf. He has NOT forgotten you! Not once. The Word says He is close to the brokenhearted and He binds up their wounds.
Please click on my picture and email me if you feel comfortable enough to do so. I can also put you in touch with my sister in law who is a believer and has been struggling with this. I know the road you are on is a tough one and at times very lonely. Jesus is in the fiery furnace with you, dear one.
God bless you. I send you my love and prayers.
We’re in a season of waiting on God for provision for our adult son. PTL, his heart is towards God even as he’s had many struggles. About 7 years ago he was planning a short term mission trip to a somewhat risky part of the world. I had never said anything outwardly to discourage him but inwardly I had many concerns for his safety and was struggling to let him go into God’s hands. One evening while he was at a planning trip with the missions committee, I was home working on a Bible study (Beth Moore of course!). I hadn’t even been thinking about the trip but out of the blue I sensed God saying to me “If you think his safety depends on his being here in town you’re mistaken”. I knew it was true from Scripture but the personal word from the Lord helped me take the next step forward in faith. Remembering that word encourages me to trust Him for today’s need as well.
God has very recently used two avenues to teach me positive, Godly thinking that has changed my life. The first was your book “So Long Insecurity.” The second was Joyce Meyer’s study “Battlefield of the Mind.” All my life, worry, anxiety, and the over-thinking of EVERYTHING have been constant companions. (And let me just add… I think, especially as women, we don’t want to admit how much we struggle with these things.) Through these two studies God has set me free and I am SO happy. Walking in victory is a beautiful thing!
I am looking forward to the James study.
Have a great time in NC!! Some of the ladies from my bible study group were heading up there to be with you all tonight…totally jealous *grin*
My moment came while doing the prayer in Chapter 9 of So Long Insecurity. My parents divorced when I was 13. They had been a bit crazy before the divorce. After the divorce things got worse. (should I have not said that???) Anyway, I’m 36 now and for years I thought I had forgiven them. It seemed however, that I had to keep forgiving them as anger and hurt would rise up within me.
The night I read chapter 9 with my heart before the LORD, He healed me in a moment. I was able to let go of the pain, let go of their divorce for good. He met me there and I can honestly say, “It doesn’t hurt anymore”.
Thank you Father.
Michelle, TN
The Siesta that touched me the most up there is anonymous that had every right to leave a marriage, but felt called to stay — and that was me. But I would grow oh-so-weary of trying to put my marriage back together. And my precious, broken husband was trying to put us back together, too, but he was so very broken.
For months we were simply going through the motions of a marriage, hearing the reassurances that God would honor us for our faithfulness to our covenant, but longing for some joy. I have a list longer than my arm of the many many ways God provided for us and carried us through that time, but what comes to mind is when he simply gave us laughter.
My husband and I were required to go to a fancy dinner for his work. We went in our nice clothes, where people didn’t know our situation, so we smiled and made small talk, yet felt so empty and drained. However, midway through the salad — sitting right across from the President of the organization, my husband somehow flung some Ranch-dressing covered alfalfa sprouts on the hurricane globe centerpiece. I was the ONLY one at the table that noticed, but it looked for all the world like what they show you sperm look like under a microscope. I didn’t burst out laughing, but was thoroughly amused. Eventually, my husband noticed, asked, “Did I do that?” “Oh, yeah…” small giggle… go on.
On the drive home, we laughed to the point of tears about what it looked like, so glad it didn’t hit the president, what it must look like to folks cleaning up, etc. It was honestly the first time in MONTHS that either of us had laughed about anything, and for us to be able to laugh together was truly a gift from God. At the time, it gave me hope that there was restoration on the way, and that we could really survive.
“For I will pour water on the thirsty land,
and streams on the dry ground;
I will pour out my Spirit on your offspring,
and my blessing on your descendants.” Isaiah 44:3
That is funny!! God does have a sense of humor!!!
I had been struggling for a few years, with something that is too personal to describe in detail, but I can share a little. For so long, I could not shake thoughts of self loathing and self hate. I have a great husband and great kids and am so blessed, yet I could not get my thoughts under control. About a year or so ago, I had downloaded one of Beth’s videos ( I do not remember which one exactly) and it was all about the Proverbs 31 woman. For the first time, I heard the word noble described as brave (in Beth’s words)and it suddenly hit me that this meant that God wants me to be brave. This was such a big deal because the thoughts I was having were not brave. The brave thing to do is to be strong for my childrens’ sake and to stop thinking so much about myself. I still have, tucked in my Bible, the piece of paper that I scribbled on quickly with a Sharpie that day during the video. It was as if God, right that moment, changed my thought process. I honestly think God freed me at that exact moment, with one sentence, from the self loathing thoughts I was having. Since that day, no matter what happens, my mind does not go to that place it once did. It truly was a wall that God in one instant crumbled for me. I pray all the time that He will not allow me to go back to that place. I am often reminded to be brave and to not give in to Satan and to not believe the lies he tells me.
I had accepted Christ when I was 12 yrs old. I know that moment was so real, but I didn’t live for Christ. I had my ups and my downs but was not really following him.(I also thought God was just waiting for me to mess up, so he could strike me down) Fast forward 40 yrs. My husband and I were at church and the minister said, God called Abraham his friend, and God calls you his friend, this was the most profound revelation I have ever had. That was about 7 yrs ago, I bawled all the way home and was so amazed that I could have a relationship with God through Christ. I had never heard the word relationship to my knowledge, but to know God loves me and is my friend still BLOWS me AWAY!!
As you may have gathered from the few posts that I have left here, I’m lonely; and mad about it.
Four and a half years ago, my hubby accepted employment in this little tiny mountain town. I was supportive at the time, for various reasons. So we lifted up the roots we had spent 20 years planting in the mid-west and went farrrrr west, up into the mountains to our current location. Nothing is the same here. Not church, not friends, not my boys’ schools, not my school, not jobs, not grocery stores, not nothing! And I have spent the past three years pleading with my husband and the LORD to GET ME OUTTA HERE!! I’m a city girl! I feel like Zsa-Zsa in the t.v. show ‘Green Acres’. Then about 5 months ago I fell into the pit of depression. I finally shared the depth of it with a few of my closest friends from ‘back home’. And they prayed. And they got their small groups to pray. And without me doing a thing, it lifted. The enemy of my soul had been whispering some fairly convincing lies to me, causing me to doubt my ability to pray myself. So I cried out to my dearest friends, and asked them to pray on my behalf. I spilled out my ugly to them, and asked for help. I have been walking with the LORD for a long time, and to be so completely vulnerable and honest about the condition of my heart was humbling. Shouldn’t I be able to handle this by myself? Aren’t I more spiritual than this? But I do believe the LORD wanted me to not always be the one mininstering, but to allow those who love me minister to me. I believe he wanted me to recognize the body of believers that I have, even though they are 3 states away, they are still my church. And I am not alone.
amen and amen.