CAUTION!!!!! This post is about clothes! If you are offended or put off by this kind of thing, please run for your life until the next post! I LOVE YOU SO MUCH! See you later in the week!
Dear Those-of-You-Who-Are-Left,
When you are a bleached blond not only by bottle but somewhat by nature, it is not always easy to explain how your brain comes up with certain concepts but, alas, I am going to try to tell you how this post was conceived. You may need to pour another cup of coffee because it’s rather involved and, not only that, it could not possibly be less important.
Maybe I should say that last part again: It could not POSSIBLY be less important. Proceed from here at your own colossal waste of time.
While many of you have frozen half to death in other parts of the country and world, we have enjoyed a series of near perfect days in a city that, in the summertime, could well be selected as the sweaty armpit of Planet Humanity. Except for a rainy respite here and there, Houston has basked in blue skies and cool breezes with trees budding and birds heralding the in-breaking Spring for such a run of days now that we might well fear that the end is near.
Last Thursday was so utterly gorgeous that, the second I got home from work, I pitched my purse and keys on the counter and headed to the spot where I keep my rubber boots. I couldn’t help but get tickled because all it takes for my two brilliant little canines to rev up for a romp in the woods is for me to start changing shoes. Running amok in these country acres makes them so exuberantly happy that I could honestly swallow gnats from over-smiling as I trudge the path behind them. And I trudge quickly, like my boots are on fire, or they’ll leap and bound themselves to the next county. (Side note: You don’t dare run in these woods if you’re a human or you will break your foot on a big, fat root. And you will miss the poetry in those last 8 words if you do not hear the word “root” as my grandmother would say it: root as would rhyme with foot. Now, try it again: break your foot on a big, fat root. Got it?) So, while I was bringing up the rear (hopefully literally), I was overcome by their imposing enthusiasm and overall cuteness and decided to take a picture of them and tweet about how smart they were. This is the picture.
That is Geli (pronounced “jelly” and short for Angelina) in the front and my own Queen Esther, or Star for short, hanging back a tad closer to her mother. Geli appears headless in every single picture I take of her from behind because she is a bird dog and runs snoot down. I mentioned in the tweet how they know their run is coming just by a changing of the boots. (Kind of like a changing of the guard.) Then, after I got a few fun responses, I thought to my blond self, “If I were on the other side of that tweet, visual soul that I am, I’d be trying to picture the pairs of shoes involved in the person’s exchange.” SO, I did what any red-blooded superficial woman would do. I tweeted a picture of the boots. (Are you on pins and needles by now? Isn’t this post riveting?)
I told the good folks on Twitter that, after I pitched my keys, I exchanged the boots on the right for the boots on the left but, based on the replies, I do believe most of them flipped the order around in their own mind’s eye. I think they assumed I’d had on the rubber boots and changed to the cowboy boots for the walk in country. Au contraire mon ami. Those are gen-u-ine (long “i” on last syllable) Lucchese’s and you don’t wear them in the mud and sticks. Or at least I don’t. I have other cowboy boots I would subject to the ugly elements but not those. Those are the boots I’d worn to work. All said, I switched to the rubber boots for the walk. I can only imagine how intellectually stimulated you must be by now. It’s just that, if we’re going to be visual learners, let’s try to get our visions as accurate as possible. Now I’ll go on if you’re caught up.
So, I’d mentioned in the tweet that those Lucchese’s were a gift to me from the great Texas town of El Paso. Lo and behold, only a few minutes later, what to my wondering eyes should appear but a tweet capturing the momentous reception of those very boots?? The snapshot below was backstage with the most wonderful and gracious handful of women you could imagine at our Living Proof Live Saturday morning before our session began. We seldom do this kind of thing and I also don’t make a practice of receiving lavish gifts but this was arranged in advance and was, quite simply, a matter of heritage. It takes a Texan to know one. That’s all I know to say. Don’t bother entertaining the thought that I did not put the boots on instantly and wear them for the rest of the day to teach. Of course I did. And home on the plane.
SO (there will be lots of “so’s” in this post because I’m taking you with me on a dizzying journey of the blond psyche and I’m trying to sew/so the pieces together for you) THEN I noticed that I had on the exact same jacket in the picture in El Paso that I’d worn to work THAT VERY DAY. (Did any of you catch your breath??) Some of you regulars even with abbreviated memories may remember because there is a picture in the previous blog of me wearing it. This is not the exact same picture I used in that post but it’s among the handful KMac and I took for it and it gives you a better view of the jacket. I wish it was full length because the same boots would really provide the finishing touch. (And, if there is anything some of you are wanting by now, it’s the finishing touch.)
Now, let’s admit it. There’s absolutely nothing impressive about me having on the same jacket in 2013 that I wore in the picture from Living Proof Live El Paso in 2009. But surely you will quit that slouching in your desk-chair post haste when I tell you that I bought it at a Lord & Taylor department store in Houston, Texas that has been closed for a solid decade and have worn it for 13 years with a devotion that can only come from true smittenness. I have loved it every time I’ve worn it.
Whose boots are stepping in this hay with me now, Sisters? Are you beginning to see the light? Because this post is about those rare and elusive pieces of clothing that we can actually call a good buy. And the best way to tell a good buy is that you…
never can say good-bye. No, no, no, no.
SO (everybody say that word with me now), I marched into my closet when I got home from that walk in the country and commenced to grabbing hangers. The result of that mad hanger-grabbing was 7 of my personal favorites from what I will henceforth call my 5+ Year Club. Each of these jackets have not only been in my closet for five or more years. They are still on the active list, getting plenty of current wear. Drum roll please:
I love this one. It’s got a darling little strip of that beading on the lower back, too. It’s a good choice for a big room. Tailored but not stuffy. Just in case you care to know a fairly reliable dressing guide for female communicators, the smaller the room, the better off you are if your clothing is understated. The larger the room, the larger you might tend to go on the look so that you don’t disappear in it. (Of course, the rub is that “larger” is a highly subjective matter. For instance, small rooms never kept me from large hair.) Addendum: I just heard from one of you on Twitter who said I wore this jacket at LPL Portland in 2003. Boom.
As you can see, the following is the utmost in understated. Clearing throat. So sue me. I’ve totally loved it. I wear it numerous times a year but without fail on Valentine’s. It is even brighter red than it looks in this picture if you can imagine that and I most like to wear it with black slim-legged slacks or jeans.
Melissa gave me the next jacket for Christmas a number of years ago. She and I tried to think exactly how long it’s been but couldn’t quite put a date on it. It makes the 5+ Year Club for certain though. It would have been a little pricier because it came from a rack at Anthropologie. It was a splurge for love of her mother and one not put to waste. I’ve worn it a million times. Because it’s bell shaped, I go with a slimmer leg on this one, too. My usual rule is: blousy top, slimmer bottom. Slimmer top, blousier bottom.
I wish I could remember exactly where I got this next one because it was my favorite kind of buy: super cheap and great fun. (Interjection: Melissa proofread the post and said, “Mom, you got it at Forever 21.” Embarrassingly, I think I did.) It is well beyond the 5 year mark and still not nearing the retirement list. I wore it to teach one Tuesday night during this recent round of women’s Bible study and somehow must have gone so utterly wild that I flung a button. (See fourth spot below) I did, however, find the button up on the third level of the church auditorium where it had put somebody’s eye out (all of that part was a lie). I will soon break out the needle and thread, as much as I hate to, and give it a mending. Or at least before next Fall.
Come on, Western Girls, and give this one a hand! BEST WESTERN COAT I HAVE EVER OWNED. Hands down. I’m going to estimate it at about 8 years old. Its story, however, has taken a recent turn that will color it, I fear, a whole new shade. A few weeks ago a young barista at a Starbucks told me how much she liked it and I was so powerfully jolted by the spirit of giving that I scared the living fire out of her. Wild-eyed and grinning madly, I ripped it off my shoulders and said, “Take off that green apron right this minute! Try this on! I want to give it to you!” To which she responded with horror and said (I wish you could hear the tone of this as I write it) “I don’t WANT your jacket!” And off she went with her lighter and pack of cigarettes like she was running from Freddy Krueger. I think she may have been staring at me from safe cover as I walked with my head down to my car, slinking like one who’d been shamed. For some reason I’m tickled. Let’s move on.
We are now nearing the end of Beth’s personal favorites in her 5+ Year Club. This next selection gets honorable mention because it is without a doubt the one I’ve worn the most. It is multipurpose and can be dressed up or dressed down. I’ve spoken or taught in it more times than I could count, worn it to dinner with Keith (when we used to actually go to restaurants because we lived in an actual city), worn it to church, and to numerous funerals and it is still a long way from worn out and nowhere near retirement. If I were quizzing you, I’d ask this: Based on my rule of pairing earlier stated, would I wear slimmer pant-legs or blousier pant-legs with this?
Blousies win.
I saved this one for last because it is the jacket of my life. Yep. My all-time favorite. I could almost pause for a moment of silence. Melissa got it for me for Mother’s Day while she was in college and that was a minimum of eight years ago so it’s at least that old. Amanda and I do a lot of gift-giving as well, needless to say. It’s just that Melissa has been more prone to jacket-buying somehow. It’s the neatest fabric ever and such a pretty blend colors. It’s truly my favorite thing in the closet. I don’t wear it as much as I used to but I just can’t seem to say good bye. I want to retire it like a basketball jersey and have it hung in one of my daughter’s homes after I’ve passed. Addendum: Amanda has now added that a theme has emerged here today: my best jackets have clearly come from Melissa. For this reason, I am leaving instructions in my will for this jacket to be hung in Amanda’s home for time immemorial.
This final selection is meant to serve as a warning not to buy things when you are hormonal. It is the most hideous thing in my closet. It looks and feels like something a deep sea diver would wear and you sweat in it like you’re wearing a tall kitchen trash bag. It’s so orange, cars yield to it and pumpkins bow. I am ashamed to show it to you but, to be fair, I feel that I must. We make it a practice to air some of our dirty laundry here on this blog. I still own it, not because it was a good buy, but because it wasn’t and because I am trying to punish myself by making myself wear it. I put it on from time to time and think something to the tune of, “This is what you get.” I have to challenge myself when I wear it not to try to explain it to people I’m with. I have this feeling that most would not fully grasp that I am trying to punish myself. I need to give it away but really. Who wants it?
SO, that’s it. Let me just go ahead and say that I am sorry for this post. I have a feeling that some of you read all the way to this point because you, too, are in a self-punishing mood. I’d like to thank you.
I loved every minute I spent reading this blog! And sitting alone at my daughters house with my grand babies sleeping upstairs I was laughing uncontrollably out loud.
I can’t wait to go home and look in my closet at some of my favorites.
I just finished the James study and actually planned to spend one day this week going through my closet and gifting some unworn but lovely “Stuff” that has accumulated over the past several years away. There will however be some +5 and +10 year old favorites that will be staying.
Thank you Beth…
I just giggled thru all if this! I SO needed that…my closet seems very similar.:)
It’s though being a woman!
Beth, you are so funny…I always appreciate your humor! And from one fashion-lover to another, I enjoyed this post… girl-talk is “good for the soul” (at least in my little world it is)!
Blessings with love,
Julia
Oh Beth…..you are such a hoot! I’m sitting here just a-laughing!!!!!!!
Blessings,
Ginger
Wetumpka, AL
Oh my goodness! I love me some Beth Moore and all things Living Proof!! =) I so needed this afternoon break!! What a complete joy you are!!
Love the post. Love the jackets. Makes me want to shop for fun jackets! My new mantra. Blousier pants, slimmer jacket. Slimmer pants, blousier jackets. Who knew that you would encourage me to memorize scripture and encourage me in fashion?!? You are a wonder Beth Moore!
Dear Beth,
Nothing you write is EVER punishment! Enjoyed every minute of it! Waiting for the post of you wearing the last jacket. 🙂
One of the reasons you are so loved is your great sense of humor and ability to bring joy!
Blessings!
Jennifer
Laughed out loud the entire time I read this (sitting at my desk at work). I could actually HEAR you saying all this stuff. Needed this laugh on a brain fog daylight saving time change Monday!
You are hilarious! Thank you so much for giving me several minutes of wonderful entertainment today. I love your writing and your brilliant (and blondly crazy) mind.
Speaking of old/vintage jackets, I have a question. What do we fashionistas do about ones that we love that have shoulder pads sewn into them? Not the huge, 80’s shoulder pads, but more the turn of the millenium (haha!)shoulder pads. I have a couple of nice wool jackets that I love but don’t wear because I think the shoulders are a bit too big. Could a good tailor do anything about that?
Yes they have fixed some for me – some I cut out myself.
Thin ones are supposed to be back in tho so don;t cut them all.!!!
Beth, I can hardly wait to meet you in heaven and have some FUN talks! Thanks.
Hahn ha ha! That orange jacket was just the laugh I needed today! I loooooove your style. My friends and I joke that we go to bible study (via video) just to see what you’re wearing. Once I accidentally showed up to a study I’d done before and I only realized it when I saw your outfit! It was cute, by the way.
Thank you for the wonderful laugh on this Tuesday morning in Auckland NZ when I really should be working!! I am starting to understand the “southern” thing but really have a way to go. We are UNDERSTATED here always in NZ and I think we need to expend and step out of our comfort zone when dressing! Go you!
Just the kind of silliness I needed on this Monday after being up since 3 this morning. (Yes, I’m running off nervous energy right now) but still; I have a olive green pant suit w/ a high waist, double breasted and I LOVE it!! I’ve had that thing for over 10 yrs.
Loved your post Beth and love you too!!
Have a blessed week!!
Love this! You have made me laugh until tears came out of my eyes! I needed that so bad today! And I believe I have seen you in at least 3 of your beautiful 5+ Year Club. The orange one is just too much! Now every time you wear it, people will give you that look that says, ” I feel your shame. I have one too.”
Love you to pieces!
Love this blog! Exactly what I needed on a dreary Monday afternoon.
I love clothes, and your style, as they are mine too. So I had to read the whole post-thot maybe there was a giveaway of the jackets as I first glanced over the article. I too cannot part with most jackets and coat-jackets as when you find a timeless one that fits so well and hides what you want it to, it becomes part of you and is everlasting, especially a timeless classic. Thanks for such fun- and a peek inside your closet- mine are spread through-out three in my big house according to season. As soon as I finally part with one in a weak moment upon hearing my deceased mother’s voice in my ear, I of course need it to complement or complete an outfit even if 2 years down the road. Us women have so much fun and surely do understand the need to share and be interested in another’s “clothes talk”! Thanks.
I must say that those are the EXACT rubber boots I imagined in my mind before you showed a picture. Funny. And…yes….I suppose I was one who read through the entire post AND enjoyed every minute of it. 🙂
I love this post. It is so fun and funny. and believe me when I say I really needed to laugh today. That said while I also love the posts about the word and how we live this life, I have missed this kind of post as well. After Lindsee i phone dump post I realized how little of that sort of thing we have seen on the blog for sometime now. I have been reading this blog since june or july of the first year it was going and I think I am as equally encouraged by this type of post as I am the others. Why? Because it is in these types of post that I get to see that I am not alone. What I mean is that it helps me to see how you all are as people and that the things I struggle with are not so strange. Nor are they as bad I think they are. And that it is ok to laugh and just have fun sometimes. Which is something I need to relearn to do. Ok not sure I am making sense here. Sorry. Ok enough on how I am encouraged by fun and as you put it less important posts. I also want to say I love your red coat. It is so cute. Red is one of my favorite colors and I love to wear it. On a side note my inlaws are retiring from their missions work and they are moving 5 min. from my house. Ahhh. Ooops sorry. Well my father in law hates the color red. Not only do I love the color, but I have a lot of red clothes. And to top it off my couch in my family room is red and so is our recliner. Ha. Should make for interesting conversation.
Thanks for sharing and lifting my day.
Hahaha! Someone just called to me from the other room to find out what I was laughing at!! Thanks for this!
Thanks for the smile! For me, it is wool sweaters. This week I wore one of my favorites–one of about five that I got in college. That’s at least 27 years ago, folks. It still looks great. One of the five just doesn’t look good on me but it is a fabulous sweater and I haven’t been able to part with it.
Love this! You had me at Lucchese… which I covet and have been considering for several months.
I absolutely love the shopping for/with mom thing and totally missed that growing up with four brothers and a precious mom whose idea of good fashion was a chemistry lab coat!
I hope my daughter and I can have as much fun!!!
Yes, I read to the end, not because I want to punish myself but because I understand! Hey, just throw the orange thing out…clearly, the 5+ club makes up for the one mistake. It’s o.k., just liberate yourself and be done with it! Thanks for making me smile today.
Loved this post Siesta Mama! It was fun to peek into your closet! It was the perfect, lighthearted, laugh for a Monday. 🙂
Beth,
You are too cute!!! I think this is the very first post I have ever read that you somehow did not work “God” “Jesus” “Holy Spirit” or some such into
the post. LOve you, enjoy your beautiful Spring, you know
the hot, yucky Summer will return to Houston all to soon,
LOL!!!!! From your own Bible Study I can actually say that I did LOL (not just the silent grin or giggle). I almost split my side laughing so hard! My kids are all sitting around saying, “what’s so funny????” Thank you for posting! I needed that today 🙂
What a treat! A very fun light post to put a smile on my face after a very intense day. I recognize the red one from the LPL conference in MN. Here in MN we are still buried in snow. I would give my right arm for spring. As I type this I’m tucked under an electric fleece blanket keeping toasty warm. Thanks for sharing..always appreciate you.
.
So funny that I just saw a woman with the pink polka dot jacket in the airport last week. I was looking at her and trying to figure out where I’d seen that jacket before. Now I know! Grin.
Yay! I was so hoping your red jacket would make the list! I believe that’s the jacket you wore to the Focus on Your Marriage simulcast. I own the DVDs and have watched them several times. Every time I see that red jacket I think, “Beth has never looked so darling.” And with all your darling clothes, that really is saying something!
**Now I feel like a total nerdy stalker that I feel so passionate about pieces of your wardrobe. So sorry! 😉
Beth, Totally love the post. I am totally in love with coats. In fact, I have to limit myself. I know God has a sense of humor because I am never cold, repeat never cold! So all I really get to do with my coats is look at them. I use one rule when purchasing coats: would Audrey Hepburn wear this coat? She had a timeless sense of style, especially when it came to coats. Oh, and by the by, forgive yourself and get rid of that orange coat. I am quite sure that Audrey would have run screaming from that one! All my love, Lynda
Hysterical! This is like reading the book “If You give a Mouse a cookie…” If Beth sees cowboy boots, that reminds a friend to send a picture, which reminds Beth of the jacket, which takes her to her closet………
Oh I was in stitches over this post. My dear hubby had to come and find out why I was crying over clothes for goodness sake. Mama Beth I have to comment on the boots. My dear hubby and I were shopping the other day and he informed me I needed some rain boots for the farm to tromp around in…yes tromp..his words not mine..this teacher would have thought of a better word that at this moment is beyond me to think…oh I digress…I tried on some boots just like the polka dotted ones you have in the picture…I was thinking wow I am wearing something like Mama Beth…I was thinking I moved up in the fashion world…but hubby thought I needed flowers…so I have daisy ones…ten years ago I would not have been caught dead in something like that..but I think they are so darn cute that i have to find a reason to tromp around as my hubby says on a daily basis.
Thank you for making my day. I nearly snorted my tea up my nose but it was so worth it. Loved this post.
I can’t stop smiling! Thank you:0)
Wear that orange jacket any fall weekend here in Knoxville, TN and I guarantee you will feel right at home! People here pay good money for closets full of orange! But I can see how others might cringe at that particular hue. Go VOLS!
Exactly what I was thinking….Knoxville is the place for that jacket!
My dog thinks I have finally gone completely crazy because I have laughed so hard reading this post. And since I’m from Tennessee, the orange jacket is my favorite. Keep it and just hang it on the porch for fall if nothing else. I love your blonde humor, Beth, and can hardly wait to see you in Heaven. I’m sure you keep God in stitches too!!!!!!!!!
Love in Christ,
Janie Richard
That was a lot of fun! I’m not a clothes-buying person, which is why I love people like you, Beth, because people like you tend to buy me my favorite clothes on my birthday and Christmas 😀 I’ve also had a lot of hand-me-downs that I love.
Don’t apologize!we loved it!!! A couple of us do your studies together and I make them pause at the start so I can take in your outfit! You make us smile from the inside out!
Beth, you are HILARIOUS! I have to agree about your favorite & least favorite jackets (the last two!). Haha! Love this entire post! 🙂 So much fun to read!! And i did picture you putting on the rubber boots to walk your dogs!! 😉
Our weather sounds like yours – so nice right now! I’m in Louisiana! 😉
Oh Beth, what fun! I am not a fashionista by any stretch of the imagination but I own many 5+ items. Yes, I read all the way to the end and laughed so hard I had tears in my eyes. The final photo was the perfect finish. Thank you for being seriously joyful about what truly matters, and delightfully enjoyable where it does not.
LOVE IT! Thank you, Siesta mama!
I don’t buy my mom coats—I recently realized that every coat I own was purchased by her! What is it with moms and “put a coat on, it’s freezing out”!? 🙂
I have a 22 year-old London Fog teal raincoat and I get complements on it almost every time I wear it….still, so hang on to the coats!
When I first moved to Pittsburgh from Phoenix, I was heading out to a rural college town to finish my education. In true “mom” fashion, she threw me a “Lands End” catalog and announced, “Buy yourself a coat!” Oh mom, my leather jacket is fine. “Darla, this isn’t Phoenix, and you won’t be walking from a warm car to a warm apartment, buy yourself a (blank) coat!” Oh OK. So I picked out a heavy, hooded down coat with a pink down “jacket” as a liner. With both on, I could survive in Antarctica. As I trudged across campus between my classes throughout the days of bitter cold across five winters, all I could think of was: THANK YOU, MOM!! I’d like to say I was 18 when this happened, but more like 38! It’s on my 5+ year list! HA!
Love and blessings to you all!
Darla:
I have a London Fog jacket that I think is 40+ years old!! It’s amazingly warm and no signs of wear and tear. They sure don’t make em this anymore!!!
Hi Calypso,
Isn’t it amazing how that it? There isn’t any wear on mine, either! How did they DO that? I love the removable liner so I can wear it on warmer days. 🙂
Blessings to you…. 😀
I so needed this! Tough day. Great laugh. Makes me think of a few things hanging in my closet. Thank you, Beth!
What a hoot! That was so much fun and like so many who have posted I REALLY needed that today. And like Angie from Tennessee said, you could wear that orange jacket in Auburn, Al any fall day and folks would love it. If you ditch it send it to Tennessee or Auburn! I love you Siesta Mama!
Self-punishing?! Not at all! I ADORED this post. Thanks for brightening my day.
Well, I guess I’m in the “just read that thing all the way to the finish line” club. Beth…you’re fun! That is all.
Too funny. I will never look in my closet the same way again.
Thank you for the laugh.
GG
Needed a good laugh to end my day….thank you!!! 🙂
Spiritually speaking, I think God gave you confirmation that you are to keep the beautiful brown jacket! LOL
Good thing you didn’t offer it to me ’cause I would have taken it in a heartbeat!
I love it! I can just picture you trying to give away your jacket and the girl refusing it. What a hoot!
Confession time: I have a ruffly denim jacket that I call my Beth Moore jacket. It just seems like something you would wear and I feel so stylish in it. 🙂
I needed a laugh til I cry kind of post. Thanks, Beth! 🙂
You are a hoot! And that doesn’t rhyme with foot, rather…it rhymes with boot. Speaking of which, I’m lovin’ yours! You (and Melissa) have fabulous taste when it comes to jackets. I’m especially glad I read to the end…orange you? Thanks for the giggles.
Beth…this whole losing an hour, time change thing, has really taken a toll on me…(tired) Today started out rough & just continued to go down-hill! But I have to say that reading this blog post tonight has totally brought an end to this Manic Monday that makes me SMILE! 🙂 And quite frankly, I did laugh out loud, numerous times! Thank you so much!
Tammi
Thanks for giving me something to smile and giggle about at the end of this day!! We have just been through Spring Forward for which, here in KS City, I see NO point to at all. Really, who wants to lose an hour of sleep and have an extra hour of daylight, when we AGAIN had snow flurries this am and a wind shill in the teens?? So, I loved a stroll through your closet of Fab Five Year+ Jackets, Beth!!