CAUTION!!!!! This post is about clothes! If you are offended or put off by this kind of thing, please run for your life until the next post! I LOVE YOU SO MUCH! See you later in the week!
Dear Those-of-You-Who-Are-Left,
When you are a bleached blond not only by bottle but somewhat by nature, it is not always easy to explain how your brain comes up with certain concepts but, alas, I am going to try to tell you how this post was conceived. You may need to pour another cup of coffee because it’s rather involved and, not only that, it could not possibly be less important.
Maybe I should say that last part again: It could not POSSIBLY be less important. Proceed from here at your own colossal waste of time.
While many of you have frozen half to death in other parts of the country and world, we have enjoyed a series of near perfect days in a city that, in the summertime, could well be selected as the sweaty armpit of Planet Humanity. Except for a rainy respite here and there, Houston has basked in blue skies and cool breezes with trees budding and birds heralding the in-breaking Spring for such a run of days now that we might well fear that the end is near.
Last Thursday was so utterly gorgeous that, the second I got home from work, I pitched my purse and keys on the counter and headed to the spot where I keep my rubber boots. I couldn’t help but get tickled because all it takes for my two brilliant little canines to rev up for a romp in the woods is for me to start changing shoes. Running amok in these country acres makes them so exuberantly happy that I could honestly swallow gnats from over-smiling as I trudge the path behind them. And I trudge quickly, like my boots are on fire, or they’ll leap and bound themselves to the next county. (Side note: You don’t dare run in these woods if you’re a human or you will break your foot on a big, fat root. And you will miss the poetry in those last 8 words if you do not hear the word “root” as my grandmother would say it: root as would rhyme with foot. Now, try it again: break your foot on a big, fat root. Got it?) So, while I was bringing up the rear (hopefully literally), I was overcome by their imposing enthusiasm and overall cuteness and decided to take a picture of them and tweet about how smart they were. This is the picture.
That is Geli (pronounced “jelly” and short for Angelina) in the front and my own Queen Esther, or Star for short, hanging back a tad closer to her mother. Geli appears headless in every single picture I take of her from behind because she is a bird dog and runs snoot down. I mentioned in the tweet how they know their run is coming just by a changing of the boots. (Kind of like a changing of the guard.) Then, after I got a few fun responses, I thought to my blond self, “If I were on the other side of that tweet, visual soul that I am, I’d be trying to picture the pairs of shoes involved in the person’s exchange.” SO, I did what any red-blooded superficial woman would do. I tweeted a picture of the boots. (Are you on pins and needles by now? Isn’t this post riveting?)
I told the good folks on Twitter that, after I pitched my keys, I exchanged the boots on the right for the boots on the left but, based on the replies, I do believe most of them flipped the order around in their own mind’s eye. I think they assumed I’d had on the rubber boots and changed to the cowboy boots for the walk in country. Au contraire mon ami. Those are gen-u-ine (long “i” on last syllable) Lucchese’s and you don’t wear them in the mud and sticks. Or at least I don’t. I have other cowboy boots I would subject to the ugly elements but not those. Those are the boots I’d worn to work. All said, I switched to the rubber boots for the walk. I can only imagine how intellectually stimulated you must be by now. It’s just that, if we’re going to be visual learners, let’s try to get our visions as accurate as possible. Now I’ll go on if you’re caught up.
So, I’d mentioned in the tweet that those Lucchese’s were a gift to me from the great Texas town of El Paso. Lo and behold, only a few minutes later, what to my wondering eyes should appear but a tweet capturing the momentous reception of those very boots?? The snapshot below was backstage with the most wonderful and gracious handful of women you could imagine at our Living Proof Live Saturday morning before our session began. We seldom do this kind of thing and I also don’t make a practice of receiving lavish gifts but this was arranged in advance and was, quite simply, a matter of heritage. It takes a Texan to know one. That’s all I know to say. Don’t bother entertaining the thought that I did not put the boots on instantly and wear them for the rest of the day to teach. Of course I did. And home on the plane.
SO (there will be lots of “so’s” in this post because I’m taking you with me on a dizzying journey of the blond psyche and I’m trying to sew/so the pieces together for you) THEN I noticed that I had on the exact same jacket in the picture in El Paso that I’d worn to work THAT VERY DAY. (Did any of you catch your breath??) Some of you regulars even with abbreviated memories may remember because there is a picture in the previous blog of me wearing it. This is not the exact same picture I used in that post but it’s among the handful KMac and I took for it and it gives you a better view of the jacket. I wish it was full length because the same boots would really provide the finishing touch. (And, if there is anything some of you are wanting by now, it’s the finishing touch.)
Now, let’s admit it. There’s absolutely nothing impressive about me having on the same jacket in 2013 that I wore in the picture from Living Proof Live El Paso in 2009. But surely you will quit that slouching in your desk-chair post haste when I tell you that I bought it at a Lord & Taylor department store in Houston, Texas that has been closed for a solid decade and have worn it for 13 years with a devotion that can only come from true smittenness. I have loved it every time I’ve worn it.
Whose boots are stepping in this hay with me now, Sisters? Are you beginning to see the light? Because this post is about those rare and elusive pieces of clothing that we can actually call a good buy. And the best way to tell a good buy is that you…
never can say good-bye. No, no, no, no.
SO (everybody say that word with me now), I marched into my closet when I got home from that walk in the country and commenced to grabbing hangers. The result of that mad hanger-grabbing was 7 of my personal favorites from what I will henceforth call my 5+ Year Club. Each of these jackets have not only been in my closet for five or more years. They are still on the active list, getting plenty of current wear. Drum roll please:
I love this one. It’s got a darling little strip of that beading on the lower back, too. It’s a good choice for a big room. Tailored but not stuffy. Just in case you care to know a fairly reliable dressing guide for female communicators, the smaller the room, the better off you are if your clothing is understated. The larger the room, the larger you might tend to go on the look so that you don’t disappear in it. (Of course, the rub is that “larger” is a highly subjective matter. For instance, small rooms never kept me from large hair.) Addendum: I just heard from one of you on Twitter who said I wore this jacket at LPL Portland in 2003. Boom.
As you can see, the following is the utmost in understated. Clearing throat. So sue me. I’ve totally loved it. I wear it numerous times a year but without fail on Valentine’s. It is even brighter red than it looks in this picture if you can imagine that and I most like to wear it with black slim-legged slacks or jeans.
Melissa gave me the next jacket for Christmas a number of years ago. She and I tried to think exactly how long it’s been but couldn’t quite put a date on it. It makes the 5+ Year Club for certain though. It would have been a little pricier because it came from a rack at Anthropologie. It was a splurge for love of her mother and one not put to waste. I’ve worn it a million times. Because it’s bell shaped, I go with a slimmer leg on this one, too. My usual rule is: blousy top, slimmer bottom. Slimmer top, blousier bottom.
I wish I could remember exactly where I got this next one because it was my favorite kind of buy: super cheap and great fun. (Interjection: Melissa proofread the post and said, “Mom, you got it at Forever 21.” Embarrassingly, I think I did.) It is well beyond the 5 year mark and still not nearing the retirement list. I wore it to teach one Tuesday night during this recent round of women’s Bible study and somehow must have gone so utterly wild that I flung a button. (See fourth spot below) I did, however, find the button up on the third level of the church auditorium where it had put somebody’s eye out (all of that part was a lie). I will soon break out the needle and thread, as much as I hate to, and give it a mending. Or at least before next Fall.
Come on, Western Girls, and give this one a hand! BEST WESTERN COAT I HAVE EVER OWNED. Hands down. I’m going to estimate it at about 8 years old. Its story, however, has taken a recent turn that will color it, I fear, a whole new shade. A few weeks ago a young barista at a Starbucks told me how much she liked it and I was so powerfully jolted by the spirit of giving that I scared the living fire out of her. Wild-eyed and grinning madly, I ripped it off my shoulders and said, “Take off that green apron right this minute! Try this on! I want to give it to you!” To which she responded with horror and said (I wish you could hear the tone of this as I write it) “I don’t WANT your jacket!” And off she went with her lighter and pack of cigarettes like she was running from Freddy Krueger. I think she may have been staring at me from safe cover as I walked with my head down to my car, slinking like one who’d been shamed. For some reason I’m tickled. Let’s move on.
We are now nearing the end of Beth’s personal favorites in her 5+ Year Club. This next selection gets honorable mention because it is without a doubt the one I’ve worn the most. It is multipurpose and can be dressed up or dressed down. I’ve spoken or taught in it more times than I could count, worn it to dinner with Keith (when we used to actually go to restaurants because we lived in an actual city), worn it to church, and to numerous funerals and it is still a long way from worn out and nowhere near retirement. If I were quizzing you, I’d ask this: Based on my rule of pairing earlier stated, would I wear slimmer pant-legs or blousier pant-legs with this?
Blousies win.
I saved this one for last because it is the jacket of my life. Yep. My all-time favorite. I could almost pause for a moment of silence. Melissa got it for me for Mother’s Day while she was in college and that was a minimum of eight years ago so it’s at least that old. Amanda and I do a lot of gift-giving as well, needless to say. It’s just that Melissa has been more prone to jacket-buying somehow. It’s the neatest fabric ever and such a pretty blend colors. It’s truly my favorite thing in the closet. I don’t wear it as much as I used to but I just can’t seem to say good bye. I want to retire it like a basketball jersey and have it hung in one of my daughter’s homes after I’ve passed. Addendum: Amanda has now added that a theme has emerged here today: my best jackets have clearly come from Melissa. For this reason, I am leaving instructions in my will for this jacket to be hung in Amanda’s home for time immemorial.
This final selection is meant to serve as a warning not to buy things when you are hormonal. It is the most hideous thing in my closet. It looks and feels like something a deep sea diver would wear and you sweat in it like you’re wearing a tall kitchen trash bag. It’s so orange, cars yield to it and pumpkins bow. I am ashamed to show it to you but, to be fair, I feel that I must. We make it a practice to air some of our dirty laundry here on this blog. I still own it, not because it was a good buy, but because it wasn’t and because I am trying to punish myself by making myself wear it. I put it on from time to time and think something to the tune of, “This is what you get.” I have to challenge myself when I wear it not to try to explain it to people I’m with. I have this feeling that most would not fully grasp that I am trying to punish myself. I need to give it away but really. Who wants it?
SO, that’s it. Let me just go ahead and say that I am sorry for this post. I have a feeling that some of you read all the way to this point because you, too, are in a self-punishing mood. I’d like to thank you.
I love everything about this post. Including the clothes. Thanks for letting God use you like you do.
Beth…..Thank you so much for being REAL!!! Don’t apologize for showing us who you really are. Being open and vulnerable testifies to your walk with Jesus and reaffirms in my heart that we speak strongest when we show our soft underbellies.. Have a blessed day in Jesus!!
This made me giggle in the greatest way. I do sweaters more than I do jackets, and believe you me, Mrs. Beth, I have some of those that rival your little orange number in my closet – they are a lesson in self control and teach me to just buy a little chocolate instead of add another daring item to my wardrobe in those wild and crazy moments.
I.
Love.
You.
(and, were it possible, this post would have made me love you more)
Mama Beth, I LOVE YOU!!!
(I am just sitting here on the couch with the “fur baby” sleeping next to me, and laughing so hard on the inside ~ because I am SUPER sick and can’t laugh out loud! :0)
You made my day!
Absolutely delightful post! Thanks!
SO. I loved this post. You had me giggling throughout!
All your jackets are so cute. I’ve never been a good jacket-wearer so I’m inspired to try more next time I’m out.
Awesome post. I hate to shop for myself (love to shop for others-go figure) but I grew up with a dad in the women’s fashion industry and so I really love clothes. And although your studies have been some of the most intense, targeted, personal communication from God in my life over the last 8 years I also confess–I ALWAYS WANT TO SEE WHAT YOU ARE WEARING! I totally dig the style that you have found. Please don’t apologize for this or for being “blonde”. You are a ridiculously brilliant woman with terrific fashion sense. God gave you both of those gifts and I love getting to see them on display. Thanks for a great Monday lift.
Kate….I totally agree with you…. I love what she wears….and look online all the time for some of the cute fashion…Living in podunk Arkansas, I am 2 hours away from good shopping spots… So Mama Beth…. Please share where you get your cute tops…..
Well friend, I read all the way through because I needed a laugh this morning, even though my tender, stitched stomach protests. (I know…..TMI!) Thanks for brightening my day! You are a delight SM!
Hey! I’ll bet if you put that orange jacket out there as a giveaway, you’d get some takers. TeeHee. I KNOW there is some siesta whose favorite color is orange! Have a blessed day!
Thank you, thank you, thank you Beth! I totally get this post (should I, too, feel shame?) but I also have 5-year + garments and shoes that I love, love, love and wear over and over again, most of which came from my favorite consignment shops. Think of it as loyal creativity!
Beth, you are SO fun! Keeping it real…ONE of the reasons we love you. Have a beautiful week in my hometown. (20 years in IN now..but still miss the Houston area) God’s blessing on you today!
Read it straight through to the end – tickled the whole way. That last jacket is an anomaly, for lack of a better word. And just for the record, I believe an occasional silly or fashion related word from you, dear Beth, makes the weight of your other messages somehow that much more serious.
Silly wins!
That was GREAT fun to read, and yes, I did read it all the way to the end.
Aw Mrs. Beth did you ever make me laugh!! I love the way you think and write and your kooky sense of humor. AND may I add, I LOVE your jackets! Thanks for brightening my morning.
You could totally gift that hideous orange jacket to someone here in Knoxville. The University of Tennessee heralds that tacky color and I am not kidding when I say that someone here would wear it proudly. 🙂
What a great pick-me-up post! I’m still pulling out of my sadness that I’m not preparing for a Tuesday night study this week, this post could not have come too soon.
By the way, this is my chance to thank you for the tremendously powerful study we just completed. Where are we going next (smile)?
Seriously…I remember buying a western jacket so similar to yours bc I loved that one SOOOO much…I wear it often and feel so snazzy when I have it on. 😉
Fun post! Love you Ms.Beth!!
Fran
That was fun. Thank you for the final “showing” nice to know I’m not the only one who occasionally has a “what was I thinking???” wardrobe purchase. 🙂
Absolutely hilarious, you are! Beth, just give that orange jacket to the Salvation Army. I’m sure there are many who would absolutely love it. You’d do a good deed to them AND to you.
I love it when you post like this!! 🙂 I had a great laugh and a fun start to the day. Have a fabulous Monday, Beth!
Love,
Heather
Can I just say, I totally loved this post! :o) Thanks for sharing! Great start to the day!
Blessings to you~
danna
I have sat here far longer than I should, and loved every second. I can SO relate to your pumpkin/ scuba jacket. Yes! You feel that you MUST punish yourself — or at least get your money’s worth — before you… do something to it. Maybe the Lord will bless you with a grease smudge or getting your sleeve caught on a door handle with a good rrrrriiiippp to show His infinite mercies in our bad decisions. You make me want to go jacket shopping. Guess I should get out the door to work so that I CAN go jacket shopping! 😉 Thanks for the tour!
Hilarious!! Thank you for the Monday morning chuckle that I so desperately needed. As a fellow blonde (now starting to add the bleach) I was trackin’ with you the whole way.
I absolutely love this post and you Beth! You make me laugh and that is a good thing! You just crack me up sometimes. I try to explain it to others (like my husband) and they just don’t understand. I am as grateful for the silly posts like this one as I am for the serious ones, so keep them coming!
We ladies love our clothes, don’t we? Even the virtuous woman of Proverbs 31 dressed herself in tapestry and purple! And I bet even Eve added a little extra somethin’-somethin’ to her fig leaf! I’m so glad the good Lord made us this way. We have enough hard things in life to deal with, at least we can be pretty doing it!
:):)thanks for sharing. I loved it! Waste of time…maybe but definitely calming and not so serious, so needed that.
I so needed this light post about things so unimportant. Today is a heavy day for me & this post help me think on no important issues for a few minutes. Because its ok todo just that when your heart is heavy-burdened for things so very important. The enemy wouldlikenirhing more than for me to get so mired down in the heartache that I miss the surface things in life that sometimes just help take our minds off the heavy things. So I say thanks, plus while my heart deeply loves The Lord, I can be a shallow person who loves nothing more than a good post about fashion ; ). Thanks for lightening my load today!!!!! Much love to you & all my siestas. (No one would waste a prayer on me & my family today!!). I love you all!
You guys are such good sports, Michele. PS. I’m praying for you and your family right now. Ours could use it too.
Your prayers are coveted and I will pray for you and your family, as well. Life can be tough, sin hurts and is far reaching, the enemy is active and we all need to arm up and fight, addictions are rampant, people are hurting, but God is still on His throne and I SHALL NOT BE MOVED!!!! My heart is wrenching with pain, but my God is still on His throne. I will stay the course, to find my ministry through this devastation.
I know you will ,too and I want all of our siestas to do the same. Keep on fighting, keep focused on our Jehovah-Jireh!!
AMEN!!! Keep your chin up! (:
Praying for families now.
Praying for you both and the families too. It’s a Monday, day after-after losing an hour’s sleep. Between our giggles, let’s each pray for one of the sistas in the replies to this post. We know we’ve all got something going on that needs to be covered!
Praying for both of your families!!!!!
Well, all I can say is that you and I must have been cut from the same cloth. My cloth is much bigger (uh…size-wise that is…).
But, sister momma, we are of one mind!
Praise Jesus for light-hearted posts and four-legged friends!!!!
Awaiting the birth of my 1st grandson. This took the edge off! Thank you so much for making me smile!
Congratulations from one grandmama to another. That’s so exciting!
Ok another good laugh as I read over my post. Nothing like typing in a hurry from your trusty friend, the iPhone! Please forgive all the typos. I am. Perfectionist when it comes to grammar & spelling so the above errors are not my fault. ; )
Any decent Tennessee vols fan would be delighted to have such an orange jacket. You should wear it with pride. (Grin)
Your daughter has an eye for beautiful things! The yellow one is absolutely darling! I did read the whole thing , I am in self punishing mood I guess.
I did just read that entire post. I can’t say why, but I guess I felt I had to see it through to the end. Maybe because it’s my first day of Spring Break and I’m being so lazy (seriously…I’m still in bed, even with my dog coming to remind me every few minutes it’s time to GET. UP.) that reading the entire post would mean I actually accomplished something. Typing that sentence was accomplishment #2.
Anywho, I must say that a part of the post actually made me gasp ever so slightly. I’m assuming the Lord & Taylor you mentioned was the one in Willowbrook Mall. Has it really been closed for a decade? Goodness, time flies. I remember when it opened. What was it before? Wards? Clearly this all matters a great deal……………..
I am going to go be productive now.
Beth you have made my Monday. I laughed so hard I cried. But I do have to say that orange jacket matches my Jeep. I wear shirts that color and I love it. My other favorite color is neon green so I am a little weird. I march to my own beat, what can I say. Love you!!!!
I am dying at the vision of that poor Starbucks barista running in abject horror. I would love to hear the stories she told on her break later that day. “And then she TOOK IT OFF and tried to MAKE ME WEAR IT and I was like I DON’T THINK SO!”
Is it possible that you bought that last jacket to go hunting with Keith? Think hard now. Maybe you could stop self-flagellation if that was your subliminal reasoning. (Although we all do that, don’t we? “I hate this, and it really doesn’t look good on me at all, but I spent so much money on it, I can’t give it away.” We are so weird.)
I just so stinkin’ love you, Beth Moore.
If you only knew what a a HUGE piece of my heart you possess…….
The End.
Leslie
Dearest Blog Mama and sweet mentor,
I have loved this post. You are great in your depth and incredible in frivolity as well! I was just hoping to see the green pants suit from Jesus the One and Only :). Kidding! You have the most amazing jackets and I wish I could borrow Melissa as a personal shopper! May God Bless you richly today, sister!
“I want to retire it like a basketball jersey and have it hung in one of my daughter’s homes after I’ve passed.” <— Funniest thing I've read in quite some time. Cracking up!
Such a fun post & a good start to my Monday morning. 🙂
This by far made my day!! Thanks for sharing your heart and closet. Every girl should have a little Beth Moore in her. 😉
I recently moved from New York City, to the Sunshine State, Tampa area, and this post made me sad. I used to have my 5 main pieces, always in rotation, and those 5 things simply can’t be worn in this climate. I’ve now started building my favorites with dresses. I recently found a Cynthia Rowley dress from Marshall’s for a bargain, it’s my go to “church dress”. My husband says he can always find me LOL
Thank you so much for this darling post, Dear Siesta Mama!! No need to apologize…I know I am not alone in saying this: I look up to you more than words can adequately convey and posts like this are SO MUCH FUN to see & read! Whether you are bringing us a much needed Word or sharing your to-die-for fashion advice, you are so loved and highly regarded! Praying for you and the women you serve with today!
P.S. LOVE the color of the walls in those pictures!
I loved this post! And look! Perhaps you can bring new life to the orange jacket: http://pinterest.com/search/pins/?q=orange+blazer+
See, this is EXACTLY why the Lord called me to the convent where I really wouldn’t have to think about what I wear all that much. I am terrible at fashion…seriously – terrible.
I loved the walk through Beth’s Closet Hall of Fame…
The orange jacket made me laugh out loud!
Oh Beth, we love you so very much.
S. Lynn
Umm…I totally lol’d twice. The first, picturing that Starbucks Barista and her embarrassment, and two, that orange jacket. You’re right, it’s pretty bad! Bahaha! But it’s nice to know you are human after all and make poor fashion choices from time to time like the rest of us. (And, by the way, you’re so darn cute, it probably looks awesome on you.)
Thanks for the giggles from dreary (and jealous-of-your-beautiful-Houston-weather) Indianapolis, IN. 🙂
Dena
I recognized each and everyone of those jackets. How shallow does that make me? I can remember certain biblical truths based on what you were wearing for certain LPL conferences. For instance; the God who is and was and is to come… Brown pantsuit with animal print blouse. Atlanta.
Dealing with a bitter person: Ruth; Greensboro. Chartreuse silk skinny pants and gorgeous green and pink oriental print jacket.
To sum it up. Your choice of wardrobe is anointed!
Love you, Heidi
Here in El Paso-we still love you and could use your prayer-the Momma in the picture (next to the darling blond in front) is beginning Living Beyond Yourself-Exploring the Fruit of the Spirit, tomorrow at FBC…. And, Fufilling Your Ministry at my home Wednesday. Always a bit nervous when we begin and excitied to see what God has for us!!!! God Bless You Beth and LPM-and-I am not sure what I am wearing!!!!! Grin….
Loved this post Beth…I am a clothes hoarder…I confess..Really I am…The BAD thing about it is,99.9% of the time I wear srubs.I work at a hospital..but as I replied to Kate above, I love your clothes and just wonder where yall find these cute things…???????
Oh, I am laughing out loud. I love jackets!
SO several years ago you taped a segment on Life Today (I do believe it is the “Alabaster Box” lesson…..is it scaring you that I remember this?). This particular segment/lesson is one the Lord has used mightily in my life, but even through the wonderful ministering of His Spirit through your words, I also became smitten WITH THE JACKET YOU WERE WEARING! It’s a long, red jacket with beautiful detailing…..so sharp.
I’ve never forgotten that lesson. Or that jacket.
🙂
Beth,
If I ever get to meet you in person(and I pray that someday that will happen), I’m gonna give you a BIG hug. I feel like you’re one of my best friends. You give so much of yourself in your post, I wish I could be that giving and open with others. I love that we can be frivolous some days and don’t have to dig so deep and come up with “life changing” insightful thoughts. Keep those fun-loving posts coming.
You are a HOOT! And of course, I now know what to wear and not wear this season! Love you Beth!