CAUTION!!!!! This post is about clothes! If you are offended or put off by this kind of thing, please run for your life until the next post! I LOVE YOU SO MUCH! See you later in the week!
Dear Those-of-You-Who-Are-Left,
When you are a bleached blond not only by bottle but somewhat by nature, it is not always easy to explain how your brain comes up with certain concepts but, alas, I am going to try to tell you how this post was conceived. You may need to pour another cup of coffee because it’s rather involved and, not only that, it could not possibly be less important.
Maybe I should say that last part again: It could not POSSIBLY be less important. Proceed from here at your own colossal waste of time.
While many of you have frozen half to death in other parts of the country and world, we have enjoyed a series of near perfect days in a city that, in the summertime, could well be selected as the sweaty armpit of Planet Humanity. Except for a rainy respite here and there, Houston has basked in blue skies and cool breezes with trees budding and birds heralding the in-breaking Spring for such a run of days now that we might well fear that the end is near.
Last Thursday was so utterly gorgeous that, the second I got home from work, I pitched my purse and keys on the counter and headed to the spot where I keep my rubber boots. I couldn’t help but get tickled because all it takes for my two brilliant little canines to rev up for a romp in the woods is for me to start changing shoes. Running amok in these country acres makes them so exuberantly happy that I could honestly swallow gnats from over-smiling as I trudge the path behind them. And I trudge quickly, like my boots are on fire, or they’ll leap and bound themselves to the next county. (Side note: You don’t dare run in these woods if you’re a human or you will break your foot on a big, fat root. And you will miss the poetry in those last 8 words if you do not hear the word “root” as my grandmother would say it: root as would rhyme with foot. Now, try it again: break your foot on a big, fat root. Got it?) So, while I was bringing up the rear (hopefully literally), I was overcome by their imposing enthusiasm and overall cuteness and decided to take a picture of them and tweet about how smart they were. This is the picture.
That is Geli (pronounced “jelly” and short for Angelina) in the front and my own Queen Esther, or Star for short, hanging back a tad closer to her mother. Geli appears headless in every single picture I take of her from behind because she is a bird dog and runs snoot down. I mentioned in the tweet how they know their run is coming just by a changing of the boots. (Kind of like a changing of the guard.) Then, after I got a few fun responses, I thought to my blond self, “If I were on the other side of that tweet, visual soul that I am, I’d be trying to picture the pairs of shoes involved in the person’s exchange.” SO, I did what any red-blooded superficial woman would do. I tweeted a picture of the boots. (Are you on pins and needles by now? Isn’t this post riveting?)
I told the good folks on Twitter that, after I pitched my keys, I exchanged the boots on the right for the boots on the left but, based on the replies, I do believe most of them flipped the order around in their own mind’s eye. I think they assumed I’d had on the rubber boots and changed to the cowboy boots for the walk in country. Au contraire mon ami. Those are gen-u-ine (long “i” on last syllable) Lucchese’s and you don’t wear them in the mud and sticks. Or at least I don’t. I have other cowboy boots I would subject to the ugly elements but not those. Those are the boots I’d worn to work. All said, I switched to the rubber boots for the walk. I can only imagine how intellectually stimulated you must be by now. It’s just that, if we’re going to be visual learners, let’s try to get our visions as accurate as possible. Now I’ll go on if you’re caught up.
So, I’d mentioned in the tweet that those Lucchese’s were a gift to me from the great Texas town of El Paso. Lo and behold, only a few minutes later, what to my wondering eyes should appear but a tweet capturing the momentous reception of those very boots?? The snapshot below was backstage with the most wonderful and gracious handful of women you could imagine at our Living Proof Live Saturday morning before our session began. We seldom do this kind of thing and I also don’t make a practice of receiving lavish gifts but this was arranged in advance and was, quite simply, a matter of heritage. It takes a Texan to know one. That’s all I know to say. Don’t bother entertaining the thought that I did not put the boots on instantly and wear them for the rest of the day to teach. Of course I did. And home on the plane.
SO (there will be lots of “so’s” in this post because I’m taking you with me on a dizzying journey of the blond psyche and I’m trying to sew/so the pieces together for you) THEN I noticed that I had on the exact same jacket in the picture in El Paso that I’d worn to work THAT VERY DAY. (Did any of you catch your breath??) Some of you regulars even with abbreviated memories may remember because there is a picture in the previous blog of me wearing it. This is not the exact same picture I used in that post but it’s among the handful KMac and I took for it and it gives you a better view of the jacket. I wish it was full length because the same boots would really provide the finishing touch. (And, if there is anything some of you are wanting by now, it’s the finishing touch.)
Now, let’s admit it. There’s absolutely nothing impressive about me having on the same jacket in 2013 that I wore in the picture from Living Proof Live El Paso in 2009. But surely you will quit that slouching in your desk-chair post haste when I tell you that I bought it at a Lord & Taylor department store in Houston, Texas that has been closed for a solid decade and have worn it for 13 years with a devotion that can only come from true smittenness. I have loved it every time I’ve worn it.
Whose boots are stepping in this hay with me now, Sisters? Are you beginning to see the light? Because this post is about those rare and elusive pieces of clothing that we can actually call a good buy. And the best way to tell a good buy is that you…
never can say good-bye. No, no, no, no.
SO (everybody say that word with me now), I marched into my closet when I got home from that walk in the country and commenced to grabbing hangers. The result of that mad hanger-grabbing was 7 of my personal favorites from what I will henceforth call my 5+ Year Club. Each of these jackets have not only been in my closet for five or more years. They are still on the active list, getting plenty of current wear. Drum roll please:
I love this one. It’s got a darling little strip of that beading on the lower back, too. It’s a good choice for a big room. Tailored but not stuffy. Just in case you care to know a fairly reliable dressing guide for female communicators, the smaller the room, the better off you are if your clothing is understated. The larger the room, the larger you might tend to go on the look so that you don’t disappear in it. (Of course, the rub is that “larger” is a highly subjective matter. For instance, small rooms never kept me from large hair.) Addendum: I just heard from one of you on Twitter who said I wore this jacket at LPL Portland in 2003. Boom.
As you can see, the following is the utmost in understated. Clearing throat. So sue me. I’ve totally loved it. I wear it numerous times a year but without fail on Valentine’s. It is even brighter red than it looks in this picture if you can imagine that and I most like to wear it with black slim-legged slacks or jeans.
Melissa gave me the next jacket for Christmas a number of years ago. She and I tried to think exactly how long it’s been but couldn’t quite put a date on it. It makes the 5+ Year Club for certain though. It would have been a little pricier because it came from a rack at Anthropologie. It was a splurge for love of her mother and one not put to waste. I’ve worn it a million times. Because it’s bell shaped, I go with a slimmer leg on this one, too. My usual rule is: blousy top, slimmer bottom. Slimmer top, blousier bottom.
I wish I could remember exactly where I got this next one because it was my favorite kind of buy: super cheap and great fun. (Interjection: Melissa proofread the post and said, “Mom, you got it at Forever 21.” Embarrassingly, I think I did.) It is well beyond the 5 year mark and still not nearing the retirement list. I wore it to teach one Tuesday night during this recent round of women’s Bible study and somehow must have gone so utterly wild that I flung a button. (See fourth spot below) I did, however, find the button up on the third level of the church auditorium where it had put somebody’s eye out (all of that part was a lie). I will soon break out the needle and thread, as much as I hate to, and give it a mending. Or at least before next Fall.
Come on, Western Girls, and give this one a hand! BEST WESTERN COAT I HAVE EVER OWNED. Hands down. I’m going to estimate it at about 8 years old. Its story, however, has taken a recent turn that will color it, I fear, a whole new shade. A few weeks ago a young barista at a Starbucks told me how much she liked it and I was so powerfully jolted by the spirit of giving that I scared the living fire out of her. Wild-eyed and grinning madly, I ripped it off my shoulders and said, “Take off that green apron right this minute! Try this on! I want to give it to you!” To which she responded with horror and said (I wish you could hear the tone of this as I write it) “I don’t WANT your jacket!” And off she went with her lighter and pack of cigarettes like she was running from Freddy Krueger. I think she may have been staring at me from safe cover as I walked with my head down to my car, slinking like one who’d been shamed. For some reason I’m tickled. Let’s move on.
We are now nearing the end of Beth’s personal favorites in her 5+ Year Club. This next selection gets honorable mention because it is without a doubt the one I’ve worn the most. It is multipurpose and can be dressed up or dressed down. I’ve spoken or taught in it more times than I could count, worn it to dinner with Keith (when we used to actually go to restaurants because we lived in an actual city), worn it to church, and to numerous funerals and it is still a long way from worn out and nowhere near retirement. If I were quizzing you, I’d ask this: Based on my rule of pairing earlier stated, would I wear slimmer pant-legs or blousier pant-legs with this?
Blousies win.
I saved this one for last because it is the jacket of my life. Yep. My all-time favorite. I could almost pause for a moment of silence. Melissa got it for me for Mother’s Day while she was in college and that was a minimum of eight years ago so it’s at least that old. Amanda and I do a lot of gift-giving as well, needless to say. It’s just that Melissa has been more prone to jacket-buying somehow. It’s the neatest fabric ever and such a pretty blend colors. It’s truly my favorite thing in the closet. I don’t wear it as much as I used to but I just can’t seem to say good bye. I want to retire it like a basketball jersey and have it hung in one of my daughter’s homes after I’ve passed. Addendum: Amanda has now added that a theme has emerged here today: my best jackets have clearly come from Melissa. For this reason, I am leaving instructions in my will for this jacket to be hung in Amanda’s home for time immemorial.
This final selection is meant to serve as a warning not to buy things when you are hormonal. It is the most hideous thing in my closet. It looks and feels like something a deep sea diver would wear and you sweat in it like you’re wearing a tall kitchen trash bag. It’s so orange, cars yield to it and pumpkins bow. I am ashamed to show it to you but, to be fair, I feel that I must. We make it a practice to air some of our dirty laundry here on this blog. I still own it, not because it was a good buy, but because it wasn’t and because I am trying to punish myself by making myself wear it. I put it on from time to time and think something to the tune of, “This is what you get.” I have to challenge myself when I wear it not to try to explain it to people I’m with. I have this feeling that most would not fully grasp that I am trying to punish myself. I need to give it away but really. Who wants it?
SO, that’s it. Let me just go ahead and say that I am sorry for this post. I have a feeling that some of you read all the way to this point because you, too, are in a self-punishing mood. I’d like to thank you.
Oh Beth, this just made me so tickled! Sometimes these silly, fun post are just what we girls need. I just love all of your jacket styles. 🙂 You and your girls remind me so much of my me and my momma! Thank you for being such a blessings and keep rocking those 5+ year club jackets AND those fabulous cowgirl boots… every southern girls needs a pair!
Can I just say, “You are adorable!!!” I loved this post. It made me smile big!!!! :)))
You are too funny! I smiled & laughed…especially when I got to the last one…I happen to LOVE orange!
Oh Beth, I loved this post! You had me laughing out loud through most of it… and just when I wondered something (ie… most of the jackets were associated with Melissa), you addressed it in the next sentence! I love that you have posts like the previous one which I loved AND posts like this one which made me giggle… We love you, Siesta Mama! 🙂
Beth, thanks for sharing. I needed a good laugh.
LOL! I literally just got home from Session 6 of “James” where you were sharing about your “clothes” and I was so convicted because clothes shopping is kind of like therapy for me (although food is a very close 2nd)! I loved your 5+ and also have some that are like old friends that I could never give up! Love this journey wtih you!
🙂
I can’t wipe the smile off my face and it feels good. Thank you for the fun you bring to our days as well as the go-deep-with-God teachings. We really need both! Thank you, sweet Jesus, for Beth and the Siestas to journey with!
This post made me HAPPY!
Cute post! Thanks for the laugh,
That’s why I love you, Beth. Your love for Christ comes out in the most joyfully, hilarious ways! Humor is truly a gift from God!!!! (I can’t stand orange…you must have been a mess!) Love from Bahrain, Susan
That last one is the perfect Tennessee Orange!!!! (My very favorite color!!! ) if you and I were the same size, I’d be drooling over it!!! But my dear sister in Christ, i am almost certain that you are much taller and thinner than I am!!! I’m working on the weight part (have lost nearly 45 lbs. since November, and I am almost halfway to my final goal of 90 lbs… Yes, I was really that heavy!!! ) Like you, I also have several things in my closet that are more than five years old, and as long as you don’t buy really trendy styles, I don’t see a real issue with that. I have a tendency to buy classically styled, tailored pieces and usually in solid colors… And if you are smart, you buy things that are quality stuff that lasts longer…. 🙂
I am hysterically laughing closed up in the bathroom so as not to wake the rest of the house! For some reason your emails don’t get to me address until almost midnight and they always make me chuckle. But this one is so splendidly fun! I am now going to bed with a smile on my face and laughter in my heart! Thank you, I needed it! Miss Beth you a such a wonderful blessing!
Midge
Fixin to go clean out my closet. Thanks for the motivation sweet Beth!
Oh Beth, this post was just PERFECT!! I am in the midst of writing report cards and took a break to check in with my blog sisters. So glad I did as this was fun, fashionable, and just plain made me grin!
(Okay, I should be more ashamed than I am to admit this, but there have been times I have mentally checked out of a Bible study lesson for the ever-so-briefest-of-moments (of course) and noticed the stinkin’ cute jacket you had on!). Hey, a girl can multi-task!!!
Such fun! Thanks Beth!
I just laughed my head off to the point of crying. oh man, i needed to laugh. thank you beth. you are seriousley hilarious! thats a wierd sentence : ) you wore your “western jacket” in the life today taping
“times of intensive care” you looked great. it was a great session! So good, so powerful and exploding with TRUTH! I have to admit i said “ew” outloud when i saw that orange jacket. You can pull it off , im sure. thanks again. laughter is so good for the soul..
your awesome and amazing, i hope you know that sister : ) You are a blessing. blessing is such a churchy word isnt it?, but you are a definitive blessing: watch…
BLESSING-a gift from God.
Boom, see, you are a blessing. KNOW IT girl : ) you are in my prayers.
your sister ashleigh
Ree Drummond, The Pioneer Woman, has give away clothes in her closet drawings. Maybe a poem for the orange jacket. Or a rap. My hair is red it’sflat and dead not high upon my head so orange won’t do but I love you. Mine was a rap.
Yep. I read all the way to the end of the blog because your creative writing is just so enjoyable to read! 🙂
Can you hear me giggling all the way from the Czech Republic?! Loved that post Beth!!
I’m actually bent over laughing.
Maybe it’s b/c I do love me some good clothes.
Maybe It’s b/c I’m laughing AT myself for hauling some of my own 5-10+ year old clothing items overseas b/c I can’t bear to part with them, regardless of how frequently I wear them
Or maybe it’s b/c I so appreciate some good English conversation and humor these days.
So thank you for taking the time to write about even the light-hearted. It still speaks to us women. A girl needs a good jacket now doesn’t she?!
Oh my goodness! I am literally laughing out loud! This post is one of my very faves! Not only is it filled with great jackets but it’s also hilarious! You are just so funny! My husband is snoring next to me in bed and I’m laughing so hard that I can’t believe he’s still asleep. That orange jacket! Lol! I so get the hormonal buying. My latest hormonal buy was a portable sauna that I will probably keep to punish myself like you’ve done with the orange jacket or just to remind myself to not shop in the middle of the night when I can’t sleep…hormones! Speaking of sleep, I should probably try to do that now! Thanks for the middle of the night laugh! I needed it!
Oh but it was the perfect mindless read as I nurse my sweet baby boy at three o’clock in the morning. First, you must have heard What Not to Wear is going off the air because this was a great fashion lesson! Second, this post reminds me of something I say often, “I live in the wrong state–Florida–to love boots and jackets as much as I do. A lot like you in Houston, huh?
Loved this post, the wardrobe lesson, and pics. And the Hercule Poirot reference. Your little gray cells serve you well. 🙂
I truly loved this post! I am a coater myself and now have a new appreciation for a few of my favorite ones & love for the orange ones! Thank you for all that you do and share of yourself. Just what I needed here in gray & cold Michigan. Thank you for the smiles!!
Love, love, love this post! Only a woman would ever understand. And loved your comment about being blond. I am a redhead, both by the bottle and once-upon-a-time.
LOVE! LOVE! LOVE! This hysterical, and oddly riveting post. You could talk about anything and keep our attention and laughter going. Thank you!!
Oh. My. Word. When we got to the orange-skin-diver jacket I laughed out loud. Totally in agreement with all the other kindred-fashionista-spirits comments above. One of your most endearing qualities is your authenticity and love of fun. You write as you think and it’s a breath of fresh air. Truly. Gotta admit too, my mom & I have commented that tho of course the studies are amazing..bonus is seeing what fun thing you are wearing 😉 I’m getting ready to lead a group of women thru “Believing God” over her in Munich, Germany where I’m currently living. Cannot wait to introduce these women to you & your wardrobe! 🙂
Love from Bavaria
p.s. Perhaps the orange jacket could be framed, hung in the LPM offices–with appropriate scripture of course, re: making mistakes but pressing on to victory? ha ha! 😉
Precious Beth,
We all need a sliver of smiles in our day, and this post brought that. Loved all the jackets, and definitely know that orange one. You should pass that on to a University of Texas/Tennessee fan!
Totally apart from the jackets, may I tell you how much it means to me that you ALWAYS make sure there is no hint of impropriety in your clothing! I have often wondered at the choices some teachers, singers, etc. wear in large group settings, but you never wear anything that would make women uncomfortable or bring attention to you instead of the message! Never once that I can recall. For that, thank you! May you be blessed this day.
Miss Beth, I needed a good laugh this morning!! Loved the post…put a BIG TEXAS smile on my face even though I live in MI. Your right, the last one is hideous on the hanger but I am sure it looks great with big blond hair. I remember the green and white Anthropologie jacket from a Colorado Springs event several years ago. I thought it was cute then and still like it 🙂 and now I know where it came from (however, have never had the privilege of shopping there). Keep on keepin on, your an inspiration.
Hey Mama B:
That pretty orange thang belongs right here with me in the state of Tennessee! That’s my school color (University of Tennessee). Coach Pat Summitt would have had that in her wardrobe quicker than you can say Go Lady Vols!
Have a great week Beth. Let me know if you need my address.
Patsy Harris
Being a closet clothes horse – (ha, ha, ha!)I was genuinely intrigued by the disclaimer at the beginning. You are hilarious and have good taste – except for the last piece. Thanks for the smile to start the day.
Thanks Beth, I really enjoyed it! It is like hanging out with a friend and sharing the reality of being “girls” in this world.
I have my own collection and they too seem like dear old friends rather than just garments.
As Sisters, I think it is awesome when we can , not only share Spiritual, godly things but the very real, everyday parts of our human existence.
Thank you
Love and Blessings
Dot
ps. Had I been that barista, my apron would have been flung and I’d whisk that jacket on and hug you with gratitude! Some people have not experienced that kind of generosity, and it scares them!
Thanks Beth for starting my day with a good laugh. I love clothes too. So I totally get it except I don’t keep mine that long (I should). I always look forward to seeing what you are wearing in each session as well as what you have to teach me.
I found this post hilarious! I laughed out loud at several parts and read the rest with much interest! It was a great way to enjoy my first cup of coffee!
I loved this post. Sadly, if I were to try and do this with my clothing, I would be done in 2 seconds. lol I love house related shopping, but not as much in clothing. It was a lot of fun to read, thank you!
Wendy ( not Austin anymore 🙁 but Atlanta)
I rarely post, but I had to say thanks, it was good fun and I definitely could appreciate it being the mother of three girls, now in their twenties.
I enjoyed reading this post! You are a breath of fresh air! Love ya!
Loved it!!!!!
Bethy, hahaheeewhoopey, thanks for making my week a little lighter. 26 years ago, yesss, this time of year.(i keep a journal too!)i prayed at your lovely home in your closet for all your clothes to be so organized and spirit led. You and i also wear the same size shoe, ha! yes always praying for your wardrobe. thank you so much,
consider the lilys of the field, they do not toil or spin about their clothes(or something to that biblical nature) Suey
Thanks, Beth! That was one of the funniest blogs you have ever written. I laughed and laughed! Totally what I needed on a cold, snowy, blowy March day in Iowa. God bless you, dear beloved woman of God!
Beth, I don’t think I’ve ever laughed like that when I was all alone!! (and I can certainly laugh myself into asphyxia!) (but not by myself!) I so needed that this morning… though I see you wrote it yesterday!
God is so faithful! It’s another GLORIOUS day of the Lord!
Blessings…
Thanks Beth, It was worth the read to the end. The end brought a gigle and a smile to me! You’ve encouraged me to reach in and find some color to come forth from my wardrobe! I’m always wearing black and dark colors. I’ve begged for someone to nominate to “what not to wear”. In the meantime, I’ll keep trying to bloom some color 🙂
I almost stopped reading when I read this post is about clothes. Thank goodness, I didn’t! So fun and a great way to brighten up the beginning of a work day!
Oh, Beth… I loved this post!! I am smiling from ear to ear right now!! Thank you for showing that you are just like the rest of us!
Oh! And I loved the orange jacket – have someone take the dark piping (or whatever it is) off of it and replace it with hot pink or a brilliant red. You will find any number of tops that can be worn under it this spring and it will change the look of the jacket entirely!!
I thought this post was GREAT! The ladies that I attend Beth Moore study with and I have all assumed you never wear anything twice! Now that sounds like we think you’re snooty, but that’s not it at all. We just look forward to seeing what you have on in every video and at the live appearances we have attended, and we’ve never spotted anything more than once. You always look gorgeous! We are always awed by both your fashion stash and what you have to say, although not in that order! Thanks for sharing!
We have spent way too much time together when I can hear every inflection in your voice as you write! Not sure what you were thinking with the orange jacket, but the Lucchese’s rock!!!!!
I join the chorus—-I loved this post too! We girls are something when we get attached to a clothing item. I love jacket and it takes me forever to let one go!
Connie
What can I say? You had me at CAUTION.
Thank you. 21 times, thank you… forever…
You might-could’ve included this disclaimer:
*No articles of clothing were hurt in the posting of this blog.*
:0)
Big. Girlfriend. Hugs.
I’ve always liked your style and once in a blue moon I’ll see you in something that I own and I know I’ve made the right clothing choice. 🙂
Beth — I love the jackets but the boots are amazing! I am a Lucchese girl and I own only one black pair but the color of your boots are gorgeous! I think I may have to buy a 2nd pair! Thank you for your post! You are so much fun!
Beth, that was hilarious! And educational, too! 🙂 I’m still smiling. It is totally gray and pouring raining outside my window this morning, but this post has lifted my spirit and brought me such joy! Thank you!!!