Food makes us unique. Am I right or am I right?
Sometimes we hate it, sometimes we love it. Some of us live to eat (that would be me) and some of us eat to live (those would be those that view food as fuel for your body and that’s it). Our lives revolve around food and the table. It’s where community happens. To eat in front of somebody is an intimate thing, and not always so attractive, if I do say so myself. Food is so central to our living.
A couple years ago for some medical reasons my roommate was put on a yeast free diet. Let me put that into simple laymen terms: IT MEANS NO BREAD OR SUGAR. OR ANYTHING GOOD IN LIFE. None. Zip. Nada. Not for you. To support her, we joined her in this adventure. We literally went through our refrigerator and pantry and gave away anything and everything with yeast in it to remove temptation. People thought we were crazy, and well, we did too. We went to the store and never made it out of the produce section except for a brief jaunt to the meat counter to pick up some grass-fed protein. One look into our shopping cart and we looked like three health nuts.
And it was nuts. And horrible in every way. Just imagine three girls living together while simultaneously not eating BREAD or SUGAR. Or anything good and noble. For a week, we were the three hangry (where hunger and anger collide) roommates. It’s a miracle we made it out still liking each other. I have sympathy for you that have to endure a gluten-free life or some other dietary restrictions for health reasons. I wish it were different for you in every way.
We made it one week before her doctor decided maybe she should take a different route because it was really, really, really hard . You may have heard the angels singing when I received a text one day saying the detox had officially ended. A big sigh of relief. Only problem was we still didn’t have any good food in our home. Lame.
We resumed our normal, mainly healthy eating with a bowl of ice cream and some thin mints thrown in every now and then. Life was good.
Fast forward three years to today. For 28 days I’ve put myself on a detox with a few of my coworkers that includes no caffeine, no dairy, no sugar, and no social life.
I’m kidding. But really.
The first three days I hated myself. My head felt like it was going to explode and all I wanted was an iced latte from Starbucks. (I’d be lying if I said I haven’t craved one every day since. But the cravings, well, they’re getting a little better.) While it’s not been near as rough as the yeast free torture, it’s still a lot of preparation and more often than not, while our co-workers head off to Mexican food for lunch, we stay back and eat our lettuce wraps. It’s all so appetizing, really.
Yesterday, however, we decided to join our coworkers at lunch. We discussed just eating a salad at said restaurant, but then decided it wouldn’t be worth it to pay $9 for one when we had all the supplies to make it ourselves and bring it along. So that’s exactly what we did. Seems legit, right?
That is until the table was served their food and simultaneously while Melissa had just asked me how it was going and I was feeling really positive about the entire 28 days, each of us pulled a paper plate (mine was particularly mangled) and a Ziploc baggie with our own hand tossed salad inside and dumped it on our ever so fancy paper plates IN A RESTAURANT.
Did you hear me? The three divas took a paper plate and a Ziploc baggie of salad and lost all of our dignity. And we died laughing while my face turned the color of a tomato. (Tomatoes, incidentally, were not allowed on this Phase.)
Food makes you do weird things, y’all. And sometimes instead of sharing our opinions on certain matters, or our circumstances that are getting us down, we just need to share the funny things in life. The random moments. The things that make us laugh until we cry.
Please tell me we’re not alone and that you’re weird too. I’m certain I’ll feel a little more sane.
Also, tomorrow is the 4th of July. I’m proud to be an American. And I’ll be proud to eat a hotdog. Or a hamburger. Or whatever food our country feasts on. And I won’t feel bad about it in the least.
Happy almost 4th of July, friends. I hope you celebrate with lots of cookies, chips, hotdogs, hamburgers, guacamole and maybe even a cake. Grin.
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