Meet My Sister

My hands have been frozen on the computer keyboard while I took in the pure profundity of this moment in my personal life and family life and, Lord, have mercy, my spiritual life. When I say that I am about to share something gigantic to me, I am not kidding. I am bug-eyed that this is really happening and it is everything I can do not to type these words to you from face down on the floor. My dear Siestas, it is my great honor to introduce you to my blood sister, with whom I was raised and with whom I shared a room for many years and many secrets. Some crippling. We have known much pain together and much devastation apart and were so close growing up that one of us could hardly be okay if the other were not. Today – and for this moment – we are both okay. And blessed. Redeemed. Forgiven. And, in staggering ways, restored. Only because of Jesus.

Years ago in a speaker/teacher workshop, the consummate Christian communicator, Florence Littauer, taught us to ask ourselves two questions before standing in front of an audience: “Do I have anything to say?” And, “Do people need to hear it?” I can confidently say today that, if Florence Littauer knew my sister and her story, she’d tell her to open her mouth and rarely shut it till God took her Home. Oh, Sisters, does she ever have something to say and do people ever need to hear it!

Please meet my older sister by three years, Gay Tuttle. She and I are two of five siblings who we love as much as we love each other. I do not know anyone well who has a more powerful and genuine testimony than Gay. Her rescue and revival flooded over into mine. God used her healing to add to mine. It is with the hope that God could use it to somehow impact you that I make this introduction.  My heart is pounding with awe and reverence as we release her story – and at times our story – to the public. In her words. I have not edited a single sentence. Here you will find the first of several installments of this story of redemption that, God willing, we hope to share with you over the weeks to come. I don’t want to put her into a time crunch but you could reasonably expect them about 1 to 2 weeks apart. Pray for her as she writes to you. Sometimes we have to relive to RE-LIVE.

As I put her out here for the eyes of multiple thousands, I beg you from the deepest part of my heart to take good care of my sister. This is huge for her and huge for me. Allow her the freedom to talk in the language that she presently speaks and with the terms she presently uses. I believe you will be so blessed. Very few of you Siestas need me to say this but, because I do not want to throw her to even two wolves, I ask you to please refrain from preaching to her. Instead, receive from her. Just let her share with you a vivid flesh-and-blood illustration of the gospel of Jesus Christ, the Son of God. These won’t be articles for legalists. These will be articles for people who do believe or who want to believe with all their hearts that “it is for freedom that Christ has set us free.” (Galatians 5:1)  If I didn’t believe you were the kind of people to embrace her with lavish affection, I’d never take this chance. But I know you, Siestas. I know she will be well cared-for here. By the way, she knows you a bit, too. She’s been reading the blog and many of your comments now for a year. So, without further introduction, my beloved Siestas, please meet my beloved Sister, Gay. I am now full-on crying.


Hi Siestas!  My name is Gay and I’m an alcoholic.  I’m not just any alcoholic.  I am a serious, hardcore, dedicated, classic, textbook alcoholic.  I drank just like that for thirty-seven years, all of my adult life, with the exception of the last two and three-quarter years.  Today I have 1000 days of sobriety, nights included, weekends too, consecutive, all in a row, no breaks, no slips and no sneaks.  Now, that might not sound like much of an accomplishment to those who have stayed sober all of their lives or for those who drink responsibly, but for ME, it is a flatout miracle from God!!

To be honest, Sweet Siestas, I have grappled with how to introduce myself on this most-esteemed blog until I almost didn’t come out here at all.  Because I have been “raised up” in the rooms of Alcoholics Anonymous and in our beloved Mercy Street, a church that ministers to many in recovery, the word “alcoholic” just rolls off my tongue.  I don’t even think about it.  It feels right, it sounds right, IT IS RIGHT!!  It is a huge part of who I am and I own that.  My God-given, God-planned deliverance from it is my testimony and I believe with all my heart that there are those of you who have, at the very least, people in your lives who have struggled or are strugging with some similar experiences and need some hope.  That’s about as simple as it gets.  I am quick to blurt it out for another reason as well, possibly the most important one:  I do not want to forget.  I believe that in order to LIVE what I have been delivered to I must REMEMBER what I have been delivered from.

What it was like:

I started drinking at seventeen years old as a rebellious teenager (loved it), continued to do it through the “functioning” years (tolerated it) and moved on to radical self-medicating simply to kill the pain, much of which I caused myself (hated it).  I was given countless opportunities to recover and refused.  By the time I got serious and very scared, it was too late.  I was hopelessly addicted to alcohol, both mentally and physically, and I had lost the power of choice.  So I threw in the towel and proceeded to try to drink myself out of my misery and miserable existence, to death.  And I almost did, many times, but for the radical grace of God.  I lost my husband, my children, my job, the trust of my family, my home, my car, my driving privileges, my self-respect, my dignity, my values, my freedom and the list goes on and on.  I was confined to jails and institutions more times than I can count.  I thought I was a certifiable lunatic because WHO would drink after all that???  And that wasn’t the bottom for me; I ended up homeless and on the street (yes, outside!) for approximately eighteen months.

What happened:

God intersected into my life like a burning bolt of lightning and in the blink of an eye my story took an abrupt about-face and became His Story.

What it is like now:

A thousand days of sobriety and a God bigger than life Who requires a lot of WORK from me, have molded and chiseled me into far more than an alcoholic.  I am a loving and responsible mother, sister and friend.  I am a dedicated employee and member of Mercy Street who believes in its mission and lives it OUT LOUD.  I am a driver with a valid Texas drivers license and insurance, a car owner, townhouse dweller, volunteer, law-abiding citizen, taxpayer (ugh), sponsor, sponsee and recovery coach.  I sit on three committees that are a part of the Houston Area Recovery Initiative for the fourth largest city in the country.  I am a Servant and Lover of God who is fully dedicated to following His will for my life which is to share my experiences, both there and back, and offer hope of God’s deliverance for all who suffer from a similar seemingly hopeless state of mind and body.

I hope to offer a unique perspective, possibly even tilting the axis a bit (in a good way), of an intimate relationship with this most Mysterious Jesus God who never leaves us or forsakes us no matter how far down the scale we have gone.  I love Him because He loves me, all of me.  He first loved me!  I had been taught that as a child and had sung Jesus Loves Me since I could form words.  Yet I had forgotten that while I was out there in the wilderness, pounding the hot concrete with bare feet.  I didn’t know the love, grace and mercy of God until I walked off of that concrete and began the journey out of the pit, to hope and a future, to FREEDOM.

“The Spirit of the Sovereign LORD is on me, because the LORD has anointed me to proclaim good news to the poor. He has sent me to bind up the brokenhearted, to proclaim freedom for the captives and release from darkness for the prisoners,”  Isaiah 61:1-3

I am going to tell you my story, Sweet Siestas, if you care or dare to listen.  I promise I will be honest and candid, direct and to the point.  I will try my best not to ramble on about the problem without moving quickly to the solution.  For me, not just any alcoholic, there is but One Solution.  Not just any God.  It takes a God the size of the universe, bigger and badder than them all, to accomplish for us and through us what we cannot do for ourselves.  It takes the all powerful, all consuming, all merciful Crazy Love of Jesus and our full acceptance of who we are in and to Him.  It takes a willingness to do WHAT HE ASKS, which is A LOT.  It takes honesty and authenticity.  This is Who I Am and it only matters what God thinks because of Who He Is.  Then its Katie bar the door!  Here am I, send me, all of me, scars, limps and all.  And He will and He does because He loves us with a love that transcends all barriers and which is, well … indescribable.  Brennan Manning, my second favorite author, wrote these words in The Furious Longing of God:  “Employing adjectives such as furious, passionate, vehement, and aching to describe the longing of God are my mumbling and fumbling to express the Inexpressible.  Yet, I plod on.” Please bear with me, my Siestas, while I mumble and fumble to express the Inexpressible.


Dear Jesus God, You know that the absolute best prayer I ever prayed in my life was the simplest of all prayers:  God, Please Help Me!  I’m praying it again now, Dear Jesus.  Please help me to be effective in Your world and for Your glory and honor alone.  Please help me to shine the light of Jesus in the darkest night, to the wounded and broken who need a shred of hope because everyone needs some, Lord.  I love you with all my heart and soul.  I am Yours, all of me.  Amen.


1,534 Responses to “Meet My Sister”

If you'd like your own pic by your comment, go to Click the first button "Get your gravatar today ->", and it will walk you through a simple process to select a picture.


  1. 301
    Leigh Ann Long says:

    Gay, I can’t wait to hear your story! Welcome Home! So excited to praise our Amazing God with you and because of you.

  2. 302
    Kristen Keeling says:

    Welcome, welcome! You may be Beth’s sister but you’re our Siesta…and we love you! I’m looking forward to reading more about our Great God. 🙂

  3. 303
    Rebbie says:

    Gay and Beth,
    Thank you for sharing ‘the skeketons in the closet’. We all have them, but many are afraid of being condemned or judged. I am also writing about turning my story into His Glory, for the benefit of my family. May you feel God’s peace as blessing with each word you write!

  4. 304

    My heart hears your words loud and clear, and it is an honor to read your story. If God has taught me anything and reading your own story has also affirmed this, We are all in this together:) I love God for meeting us exactly where we are, It is HE who GETS us.
    Beautiful story. I can’t wait to read more 🙂


  5. 305
    Jacque Cook says:

    Thank you from the bottom of my heart – so very touched! I’m going to print this and share with our “adopted” girls both incarcerated and in a half-way house (for addictions). Tears in my eyes – praying for you – and can’t wait for more. Blessings on you as you step forward in joy and freedom into a beautiful future.

  6. 306
    Georgia Jan says:

    Dearest Gay! Welcome to Siestaville!!! I am so thrilled to finally meet you and I’m so proud of you and your ministry at Mercy Street. 1000 DAYS – THAT IS ABSOLUTELY AMAZING. I pray that God will wrap His mighty arms around you and squeeze you so tight – and I wish I could hug your neck too! I can’t wait to hear how the Good Lord is going to continue to use your story of hope and restoration. I love you already.

    Your Sister,

    PS: You’re a great writer and so is your little sister. I imagine it runs in the family. That picture of y’all is so cute. I think I had a dress like Beth’s…we are the same age you know! 🙂

    • 306.1
      Beth says:

      Skizzie (our nick-name for each other since, well, forever), this (GJ) is one of the dearest personal friends I’ve made here in Siestaville. You will just love her. Heck. You will love all of them.

  7. 307
    Irene says:

    You are Beauty!! I was beaming as I was reading this story and hearing about your journey to freedom! Praise the Lord. Looking forward to hearing the rest of your story. Welcome Siesta

  8. 308
    Patti says:

    Welcome to the blog, Gay! You are such an inspiration. I count it an honor to be able to hear your story. I prat that as you write your next (and all future) installments that you can feel the arms of all us siesta’s giving you a great big hug!!! Much love to you sweet girl!

  9. 309
    Audrey says:

    Beth, thank you for entrusting another precious member of your family to us 🙂 I asked for {and received!} “Feather from My Nest” for Christmas {from my husband}…reading your stories and lessons learned from this side, knowing you no longer live in that “nest” makes me think you are probably so thankful you had the opportunity to write down those precious memories. Thank you, and your family, for being transparent about so many things that are a tremendous help to others. Hopefully we give you equal breathing room on the other percentage that is private to just you and your family.
    And speaking of family, thank you for bringing Gay front and center to us!
    Gay, thank you for taking the LORD’s courage and stepping out to share His great goodness. One thing my {preacher} husband has been learning lately is that it is not our responsibility to PROVE God is _________ {good, faithful, loving, etc}, but it is our job to share that He IS_________ {good, faithful, loving, etc} by sharing examples from our lives. You are doing exactly that~praise God!

    • 309.1

      Wow Audrey… I like your husband’s approach. It reminds me of the lesson:

      If ____________ (whatever happens), then GOD (will be there, will take care of us…).

      Thanks for sharing!


  10. 310
    Brenda says:

    I love you, sweet Brittany.

  11. 311
    JoAnne says:

    Dearest Gay,

    Your story has restored my hope in Christ. If he can help you, perhaps he can help me too?

    Thanks for being bold and sharing.

  12. 312
    Donna Jo says:

    Oh Beth, we already love her because she’s a part of you! Thank you Gay! “You is kind. You is smart. You is important.” (The Help) 🙂

  13. 313
    aussie monica says:

    Wonderful to meet you, Gay!

  14. 314
    Brenda says:

    Precious Gay, I love you, dear one.

  15. 315
    Valarie Elswick says:

    Well, I am now in tears as well Siesta Mama. You see, my sister, like your precious Gay, is an alcoholic who reminds me that I “don’t need to worry about her, and her god”. Which is precisely what I do worry about – just who her god is! I love her more than I can express and covet prayers that the Lord will seize her heart and spare her life. I’m riveted to continue on this journey with Gay and I thank you both for daring to expose yourselves in this way. Pray for my sweet Tina.
    Til He comes,

  16. 316
    Deb says:

    Gay, what a pleasure to meet you! Thank you for trusting us with your story. God is all over it. Your courage is overwhelming. Thank you!!

  17. 317
    Connielynn says:

    It is so wonderful to meet. Thank you so much for being willing to share your story. Sweet Siesta, know that God has used your words to remind me of what a big God He is and that nothing is impossible for Him. I am looking forward to reading more of your story.

  18. 318
    Gayla says:

    Thank you, thank you, thank you, Gay!! God’s mercy is evident in you and His strength is astounding! From the bottom of my heart thank you for acting in that strength to share hope!

  19. 319

    Beth and Gay, thank you for your willingness to share your vulnerabilities with us. They speak so powerfully because they remind us that we all have shame, we all feel unworthy, we all fail, but most importantly, we all have a MIGHTY GOD who loves us with a love we can’t fathom and who provides bright hope for our weaknesses and who covers us with His grace and mercy. With prayers of thanksgiving for the way both of you are living life out loud. Your testimonies speak volumes of the redeeming power of the God we serve!

  20. 320
    Christi says:

    To God alone be the glory. How great He is for rescuing each of us when we don’t deserve Him. Can’t wait to see how God is using your story to minister to others.

  21. 321
    yanna westmoreland says:

    I have a new sister! I have a new sister! Welcome to God’s family we are all adopted! It is Wonderful when our story becomes His, and looking back out our timeline we understand and are in awe of God’s plan. I love this song Gay, and hope you are able to open it or hear it Rooftops by Jesus Culture. The lyrics say “I will shout out Your Name from the rooftops I proclaim that I am Yours I am Yours”. All that I have I place into Your loving hands, I am Yours…
    Shouting with you sister.

  22. 322
    Michelle Carter says:

    Thank you, Gay, for sharing your story, and to you, Beth, for sharing your sister! 😉 I feel blessed by your courage, Gay, and am certain that the Good Lord has big plans for you! May God continue to bless you as carry on!

  23. 323
    NanaHat says:

    Beyond, Beyond, Beyond AWESOME!!!!!!!

  24. 324
    Shelley says:

    Wow! Thank you so much for sharing your beautiful story of redemption. May it bless all who hear it! Thank you Beth for sharing your dear sister with us. God is so good! Praise His Holy Name!

  25. 325
    Andi says:

    Wow…what an amazing story! I sit with tears streaming down my cheeks. Thank you Beth, for sharing your sister with us. And thank you Gay, for being willing to share you story with us. I eagerly anticipate the next installment. What a gracious and loving God we serve!

  26. 326
    Corinne says:

    God Bless you,thanks for sharing. Telling your story reinforces how God’s awesome power helps us overcome our enemy!

  27. 327
    Amanda May says:

    Thank you for sharing, Gay. I’m so happy to meet you. And I can’t wait to read more of your BEAUTIFUL story…so encouraging!! Jesus is very, VERY glorified in you.

  28. 328
    Karen says:

    I am pleased to meet you as I care so much for your sister and allow her to be a vehicle of choice for the direction to my path of sobriety. Breaking Free opened my eyes to Isaiah 61. I am not totally free yet, I can’t explain to anyone or to myself how broken I get. I promised my sister in 2009 that I wouldn’t drink again. I have tried AA only to find their higher power wasn’t my Jesus. I do very well for days sometimes months. I feel I will never have a testimony of total freedom, not ever wanting to have a pre mature testimony that healing will never come. I have Faith that it will one day and my cycles of defeat will stop. Those of you that have loved ones with this affliction, be patient with them and love them through it. By His Grace I too will be Free. Please continue to share as I am listening and so want what you have…a Peace that surpasses all understanding. congrats to you.

    • 328.1
      Judy Googins says:

      Karen, healing is in His hands. Try Celebrate Recovery– a Christian Twelve-Step Recovery Program. Addiction is a disease, and our Lord is the Great Healer. Thank you for sharing your hurting heart. You are loved, dear one.

      • Karen says:

        Thank you Judy, Rebecca and ALison, I have felt your prayers and encouragement has touched my heart. I will look into the renewal program at my church, I know the only reason I am still afflicted is it’s disease nature. I find keeping my nutrition focused along with prayer (why I love Daniel) I am all Gods clay.

        I refer often to Paul’s thorn and think mine is so similar, I do believe in a Season for His divine healing and I am waiting.

        In Christ Alone, Karen

    • 328.2
      Rebecca Cain says:


      God is laying you on my heart. While I lay in bed thinking and praying tonight–your name will be in my quiet whispers to Him.

      Keep the faith, sister. You are already victorious…because of Jesus.

    • 328.3
      Alison says:

      Praying for you Karen as you find freedom. Our church has a Celebrate Recovery program that is Christ-centered…Jesus is our Higher Power. Check out a CR in your area…it might just be the “place” you are looking for that could help you find complete freedom.

  29. 329
    christina says:

    Gay, it’s wonderful to meet you and get to hear your story of God’s grace at work. May He keep building your tally of sober days and nights and weekends one at a time until He calls you home. Thank you for sharing your heart.

  30. 330
    Maria says:


    I have been with your sister Beth, my Siesta Mama, for over ten years now. I really feel like she is my sister. 🙂 I say this from the deepest part of my heart, I already love you as much as I love her!!! Only Jesus can do this!

    and…Yes, me too, family history of alcoholism. Keep sharing Siesta Gay. Learning and loving from you already.

    Forever grateful to our God!!

  31. 331
    Emily says:

    Simply. Thank you! Your courage was an example I needed today.

  32. 332
    Carol says:

    Thank you, Gay, for your courage in sharing your story. Already it is touching lives. May the Truth bring restoration to many. Bless you.

  33. 333
    Leah Brannon says:

    Oh precious Gay! How exciting to “meet” you! I am so looking forward to hearing the rest of your story…giving all of the praise and glory to God. It has already spoken to my heart. Bless you for your honesty.


  34. 334
    Andrea says:

    Sweet Gay….
    I am humbled that you would trust me with your scars…
    I am grateful that we share the same Father…
    I am awed that the God of the universe loves us both the SAME!
    I am excited that we get to write the “rest of the story” together…
    in different parts of the country….
    Even if we never meet this side of eternity!
    How awesome is that!!

  35. 335
    Julie says:

    Welcome Siesta Auntie! Thank you for being so brave and sharing your journey with us.
    Hugs and prayers-

  36. 336
    Missy Q says:

    Thank you thank you thank you. First of all Thank you Jesus. And thank you Gay for sharing your heart and your faith and story. Our family needs to hear this right now as we try to help my brother through his journey of alcoholism.

    Ephesians 4:20-21.

  37. 337
    meg says:

    I am so blessed and honored to be not only your neice but a sister in Christ!!!!! I love you beyond the universe!!! All my love meg

  38. 338
    Rebecca says:

    Wow!!!! What timing. My sister sent me this link today and said you have to read this! This is our story. So I just sat down and read it. As I’m typing through tears, excuse the typos, I’m in awe at our Mighty Lords Timing. My sober date is July 22,2007. I’m given my testimony at a womens group ( earth people) at my church on wednesday. I have given my testimony to addicts and alcoholics, but not to normal people for an hour —oh my word an hour!!!! You have really encouraged me and have helped me in my confidence! Wow Praise God For You Writing this today!!!! It’s my actual birthday too! What a great way to end my birthday!!!! Pray for me during my testimony!!! All I want is the truths and Gods words!!! Thanks you Gay! Your such a Blessing!
    In Him,

    • 338.1
      Brittany says:

      4 years? wow. i can’t imagine that.

    • 338.2
      Sherrie says:

      Praying Rebecca. Praying for God to calm your spirit and your voice. For the “normal” (that’s just a setting on a washing machine you know) people to have open hearts and open minds. Praying for you to be able to hear the Holy Spirit.

      May God use you in a powerful way Wednesday night as you are willing to be used by him.

      one piece of His peace,

    • 338.3
      Cindy says:

      You never know who just might be in that audience of “normal” people, who are secretly struggling. Or who might have a loved one they have given up on, that you are going to give fresh HOPE to, that our God still works miracles and is able! So TELL IT SISTER!

  39. 339
    Sharon Allen Gray says:

    Oh Gay, I have often wondered whatever happened to you after high school. Your testimony has brought me to tears.God has also redeemed me from alot of baggage which began in my childhood years. When I was very young, I often asked the Lord why you and Beth had such a wonderful life and why did He choose such a difficult life for me. I thought it was because I wasn’t one of His favorite. Through my adult years, I have come to recognize that my childhood was part of the plan He had for me to bring glory to Him. I would so love to see and talk to you again. Thank you for having the courage to share with us.

  40. 340
    Carol says:

    Dear Gay, we are praising God with you. Blessings upon blessings to you as you continue on the path of life God has for you. Thank you for sharing! And not only sharing, but giving of yourself to help and encourage others with the awesome power of our great God.

  41. 341
    Karla Williamson says:

    Amen!!! God bless you!! Thank you for sharing!! Your message must be spoken. Alcoholism is more prevalent than we know. We must speak the message of hope in Jesus. So excited for you and your 1000 days. Hugs and prayers~Karla:)

  42. 342
    Marie says:

    Oh, Gay. I have no doubt that you will bless all who read your story. I am already moved by the picture of God’s radical grace in your life. Looking forward to knowing you!

  43. 343
    Cathy S. says:

    1,000 days sober! Praise God! And praise Him for being with you even in the thousands and thousand of days before that. Welcome, sister. Can’t wait to hear the rest of your story.

  44. 344
    sherry says:

    I love you already, and NOT because your sister wants me too! 🙂 Thanks for being REAL, I need real. We need real. Real is awsome because that’s I get to see the Amazing, One and Only True God!!!! Sista you rock it!

  45. 345
    D Walker says:

    What a truly courageous thing to do: to make yourself vulnerable to people you don’t even know. I believe your story will bless, encourage, and even begin to rescue people you will not meet on this earth. I pray the Lord blesses your willingness to share, and does so in ways you cannot even imagine. May you never lose sight of the work God has done in you, and never take your eyes off of Him. Thank you, and God bless you!

  46. 346
    Stephanie says:

    Beth, I just returned home from leading Session 1 of James: Mercy Triumphs. In it, I was so excited to hear you give us a glimpse of how God has brought resurrection to your earthly family. My husband’s family is currently going through some crazy trials and resurrection is badly needed. I was even more excited to get on the computer and see this first glimpse into your sister’s story. Doesn’t God have amazing timing? Anyway, thank you to you and Gay for having the courage to share your lives with us. I can’t wait to hear the rest of the story!

  47. 347
    Kim James says:

    AWESOME!!!!!! Soooooooo good. God is sooooo much bigger than anything and everything in our lives! Thank you for sharing and can’t wait to read more. Don’t stop sharing His story of your life!! It will only get better and better.

  48. 348

    Thank you for loving us enough to share your story. God is so generous with His love and grace when we give our lives to Him and He mercifully pulls us out of the pit that we are in. We had a family member to die in a tragic accident two days ago when he was hit by a car trying to cross a road. He had a heart of gold but was an alcholic. He was also lost and did not know Christ. He never was able to experience hope in the way only God can give us. For those out there struggeling with addiction problems, Christ is the answer. Coming out of the pit is possible with the one who gives you the strength.

  49. 349
    theharbormom says:

    Gay, thank you for sharing your story. It is amazing and a true testamony that God can redeem us from any situation. My brother was an alcoholic as well. He lived 4.5 years of sobriety before being taken to be with Jesus. God redeemed him, our family and my heart in the midst of it all. I am looking forward to hearing each installment of your story and getting to “know you” through each one. Your story will remind women who read this blog that God can work in their situation (especially if they struggle with alcohol) and with His help it can be changed. God bless you in your next 1000 days and the 1000 after that and the 1000 after that as you work your program out.

    Love to you!

  50. 350

    Dear Beth and Gay,

    It is simply nothing short of a miracle than any of us make it through the day. The enemy is out there seeking those he may devour. Praise our Precious Lord Jesus for His Saving Grace!!! Praise God we can share with one another our joys and our lives in the valleys. Praise God for you both . . . Praise God for Gay’s 1,000 days!

Leave a Reply

To receive a daily digest of comments on this post, enter your email address below: