Siesta Summer Bible Study 3: Second Gathering

Hey, my Dear Siestas! It’s time for our second gathering of SSBS3! As promised, below are your written instructions in case you have trouble with the video greeting. REMEMBER, your comments to this post are meant to come AFTER your small group gathering or your solo experience to tell us how your time went. We hope all of you participating will check back in with a comment at some point over the next several days. (One leader checks in per group and each solo participant checks in.) This is part of the accountability process and will immensely help you stay with it through the very last page. As always, please put your city at the beginning of your comment. Thanks so much for joining in!

Summer Siesta Bible Study – Week 2 from LPV on Vimeo.

Your discussions in this gathering will revolve around different points in your homework. Two from Week One. Two from Week Two:

1.    Look back at the middle of page 12 where Kelly had us look up Deuteronomy 23 and Judges 3 to get some background on the Moabites. Read Deuteronomy 23:3-5 together if you’re not watching this as a small group. In your small group, I want you to talk about a few things that have happened in your lives that Satan would love to use to curse you. You can think of it conceptually more than literally if that helps. At the end of class today, I want you to claim that fifth verse together in prayer and believe God to turn those curses into blessings!


2.    Turn to the middle of Week One, to the bottom of p.21 and the top of p.22. I loved Kelly’s discussion about her friend “weeping forward.” What do you think that means? Several of you share a season in your life when you feel like you wept forward and several others might consider sharing a season in your life when you wept backward. Most of us have done both at some point in our lives.


The next two are from Week Two:
3.    OK, Day Two has a portion that is vintage Kelly Minter and one reason why I love her writing so much. Look at the second paragraph on p.42 where she tells about her sister, Megan. If you were writing a novel that was secretly about yourself right now and right in this season and you had to name it in the form of a question, what would it be?

4.    Turn to p.45 and review the part of your homework concerning Psalm 126. Please read the psalm together then discuss your answers to the “Personal Response” question: Practically speaking, how can you sow in your weeping? Don’t miss how much this section has to do with your second discussion question today.

In closing, one of you read the Elizabeth Barrett Browning quote at the end. Let it lead you into prayer and don’t forget to claim those blessings from our first discussion question today!

For all of you participating in the fellowship meal, consider the recipes on pages 62-63 and either do them or some Italian equivalent.

I am so happy to study with you! Stay in the Word and I’ll see you in two more weeks!

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  1. 1
    texatheart says:

    Jan
    temporarily Rockwall, TX
    solo

    1. I believe Satan would have loved to use alcohol to curse me. Instead God used that loved one’s addiction to draw me into his loving arms. He has used loss of a job to show his provision for me. Whatever comes my way, though it may not be fun at the time, God is clearly in the midst. I may not see it at the time, but as I look back over it His name is all over that wall.

    2. I am very familiar with weeping backward. It is so easy to do. Weeping backwards for me is when you replay wrongs that have occured in your life, and you kind of get stuck in all the yuck feelings that go with them. It has never been very productive for me. Sometimes it is almost as if you were right there in that spot again. I lose ground when I weep backwards. However, when I weep forward, I move through the yuck feelings. I make progress towards a better place in my life. I celebrate that God saw me through yet, another rough road.

    3. My book would be called:

  2. 2
    texatheart says:

    Jan Solo
    Rockwall, TX

    Sorry I had little visitors who submitted my entry before I was done.
    3. Book title would be: ARE WE THERE YET? or WHERE IN THE WORLD ARE WE GOING?

    4. You sow in your weeping by taking life by the horns, trusting God and keep moving. Sitting never gets you anywhere.

    • 2.1
      Lauren says:

      Love the title of your book… I can relate to the Where in the World Are We Going… thank God we have a map in the Word and a pit stop in Siestaville to help get us where we need to be headed!

  3. 3
    Tara G. says:

    Kyiv, Ukraine
    1. Times I’ve failed in my marriage relationship and in parenting- he’d love to paralyze me with guilt.
    2. As a military spouse who moves frequently, I often feel like family and friends take the “out of sight, out of mind” philosophy in regards to our relationships. Obviously, long-distance relationships take a concerted effort, and I’ve had my share of cries during lonely and isolated periods.
    3. “Why Are You So Weary?”
    4. Sowing while weeping- I have 3 children whose lives God has made me steward over for such a brief time- life moves forward with kids! We’re building relationships with the embassy community and the Ukrainians around us and hope to share the Lord with them at some point. I will be hosting a ladies Bible study in the fall for other military wives in the embassy.

    • 3.1
      Bobbie says:

      Tara, As a member of our military family (AF-22yrs) I want you to know that you’ll be in our tho’ts and prayers daily. It’s not easy to feel close when you’re so far away physically! We feel so blessed to have wonderful families representing our country all over the world. Thank you for all your dedication and moves! Praying for you all.

    • 3.2
      Donna Benjamin says:

      From one military spouse to another, I know exactly what you mean by the “out of sight, out of mind” philosphy. This is ONE reason why I do love FaceBook, it gives me the opportunity to stay connected a little better with friends and family. However, it doesn’t take the place of face to face time. (((hugs))) and prayers Siesta!

  4. 4
    Bobbie says:

    Bobbie
    College Station, TX

    This study is forcing me to look deeper into my soul-that’s for doggone sure!! Thanks Beth! (I mean that sincerely!)

    1. Satan would love to use the decision I made to change denominations when I married my husband to curse me. I discovered about eight years ago that there was something missing in my spiritual life. I was given Beth’s ‘Jesus the One and Only’ and have been studying the Bible ever since! I’ve been struggling with whether I made the ‘right’ decision or ‘wrong’ decision by changing, but now am seeing that I need to do the ‘God’ thing and grow, instead of complaining or weeping as Kelly put it.

    2. I have been weeping backwards for so long about my decision that it’s been a tough week or so realizing that I need to be weeping forward–growing with each study and daily devotion instead of worrying and beating myself up for a decision I made 37 years ago. I still have questions, but that’s for another day!

    3. “Will You Love Me Where I Am, Lord?”

    4. To sow in my weeping, I can open my Bible, open my Heart and ‘eat up His Word’ AND know that God is leading me where He wants me to be–totally in His Love.

    I guess Geli sees you “eatin’ up God’s Word” every day and she wanted to be like her Mama!!! jk, I’m sorry she did that to your Bible, I know what your special Bible means to you and I love that you can laugh about it and open a new one. You’re one very special Siesta Mama!!

    A quick congratulations to Vangie and her Man!! What a precious young woman she is–always so loving and friendly when I’ve called. Loved your ‘mic’!!!

  5. 5
    Kaila says:

    Hey siestas, this has nothing to do with the Bible study, and I’m sorry about that, but I have a desperate prayer need. I just got off the phone with my best friend who is a Mis.sionary in SE Asia and she is really struggling with depression and suicidal thoughts…to the extent that she is making plans, thinking through how to say goodbye to her family, ect. She lives in a small rural village without any internet or phone access and doesn’t feel like she can talk with any of her nearby coworkers due to the repercussions of loosing her job. God had just freed her about 2 months ago from some huge baggage, and she still feels like her relationship with God is strong. She even said that she knows it’s just oppression from the enemy, but it’s still very overwhelming for her. Would you ladies please be lifting up K, that the spirit of oppression would be lifted, that she would have a fresh vision for her village and reason to press on. Also please lift me up as I am walking through this with her from 12 time zones away…I would feel much more comfortable if I were able to physically be there with her (or at least have better communication with her). Thanks, Siestas! I love you guys!

    • 5.1
      Amanda says:

      Praying!

    • 5.2
      Betty says:

      Praying the Spirit remain with K and nudge her and open her eyes to the village. Praying her hand will be stilled and her heart opened. Praying for you.

    • 5.3
      Beth says:

      Count me in, too!

    • 5.4
      Suzanne says:

      praying!

    • 5.5
      Delaney says:

      Praying for your best friend, Kaila.

    • 5.6
    • 5.7

      Lord, We life our fellow siestas missionary friend up to your right now and we speak peace over her mind. We ask for supernatural peace just to flow over her right now from head to toe. Devil you have no place in this womans life as she is oversees for God’s glory. We command that you back away from her RIGHT NOW! You have NO authority over her! Lord we just ask for a renewal on this young lady that there be a renewal of vision and passion for her village. Develop in her a renewed hear and passion for the people of her village. Give her a plan, and goals to accomplish while she is there. We thank you so much for her life and her service to you in the Kingdom and we lift her up to you right now in Jesus Name! Amen!

      • Stacy says:

        I am standing in agreement with all the siesatas and have confessed Amandas prayer!!! Lord be with her!!!

      • Jane Dean says:

        I am praying and standing in agreement with everyone! Satan get away from her and God envelope her with your love

    • 5.8
      Denise says:

      Doing it now!

    • 5.9
      Amy says:

      Praying…..

    • 5.10
      Katie says:

      Wow, is this timely. I was just thinking of how much I wanted to share with Siestaville how God is healing me from severe depression and anxiety. I had written in my Bible next to Psalm 30:2-3 the date 5/09 with the note “God will heal me!” “O Lord my God, I cried to You for help and You healed me. O Lord, You have brought up my soul from Sheol; You have kept me alive that I would not go down to the pit.” I can say that I have not experienced the depression that was sometimes a daily, out of the blue experience in a LONG time. That feeling of wanting to die has been replaced with a true joy. Overwhelming feelings of fear have been replaced with a peace that I did not know was possible. Beth’s studies, siestaville, prayer, scripture, and my church family have all contributed to this healing. I believe with all my heart this is available for your friend and I will be praying for her.

    • 5.11
      Debbie says:

      Count me in too! I am placing her at the foot of the cross.

    • 5.12
      Terri says:

      I’m praying too!

    • 5.13
      Sharon says:

      Also Praying!!

    • 5.14
      Lauren says:

      You and your friend will be in my prayers!

    • 5.15
      Bobbie says:

      Praying for both of you!

    • 5.16
      Stacy says:

      PRAYING!!!!

    • 5.17
      Melissa says:

      Praying for K…Praying for you, Kaila.

    • 5.18
      Forever His says:

      Prayed for you and your dear friend.

    • 5.19
      Rebecca says:

      Praying for both of you!

    • 5.20
      Michelle says:

      God, surround K with your Holy Spirit and protect her. Send someone into her life immediately to walk with her. We believe you can save her God if it’s your will.

    • 5.21
      Julie says:

      I’ve thought about your friend throughout the day and just continue to pray for her and for you.

    • 5.22
      Summer says:

      Praying for you and your friend, that God will give you strength and your friend healing. :o)

    • 5.23
      Barb says:

      Yes, praying that K will feel God’s arms holding her tightly and that she will be delivered from that depression! And that you will know how to minister to her! Is she taking any malaria medicine? There is a certain kind that can cause unstable thoughts!!! I can give you more info if that might be the case. Is there an address we could maybe write to her so she knows how many people are praying for her? Or you could copy & paste all of the replies her, and send them to her, so she knows that she is not alone.
      love, Barb

    • 5.24
      Kaila says:

      Thank you, siestas, for all the prayers! I just talked to K again and she still isn’t doing good at all…to the point that even being a counselor and trained in dealing with suicide, I’m alarmed for her. If any of you know anything about Wycliff and their member care/counseling department, I would love some info. My email is k_khedger@yahoo.com. Thank you all!

  6. 6
    Deb Owen says:

    Deb in Indiana going solo here.

    As for question 1, oh…my….goodness. Well that list is lonnnnnnnng. Seriously. Long. There’s plenty to choose from out of my ‘unchurched-of-the-world’ days. Some I write about freely. Some I allude to. But Satan’s got plenty of arsenal to choose from when it comes to me. Fortunately, He who lives in me is way, way stronger. 😉

    Question 2? I have very recently wept backward. There is still something that I so wish I could go back and do differently. A regret and a loss of friendship that rips at my heart and I pray about daily. I have to leave it in God’s hands and I still walk forward, but I weep backwards frequently over it. Weeping forward? My divorce. In the midst of confusion and not understanding and all that came along with it, I wept forward. (It was a long time ago, folks. That one? That one we could talk about all day long and I’d be okay. 😉 ) I was fortunate to have good friends walk alongside as I wept forward through that season.

    Question 3: My title would be: “God, Could You Tell Me What Flight You’re Coming In On? Because I’m Anxiously Watching the Arrival Board and Ready to Meet You At Baggage Claim (Where I’d Be Happy To Drop Some Off)”

    It’s a long title. But I’ve always suffered with brevity, even if it is the soul of wit.

    Question 4: I often think sowing in weeping comes down to two major things for me. One, using that time to get deeper in the Word, spend more time with God, get to know Him better and rely on Him more. (Desert and wilderness seasons are pretty great for that). And then to volunteer, do things for others, serve. I find helping others, even if all I can handle is doing so in small ways during those times, not only helps get my mind off of me and my stuff, but it helps sow for the future at the same time.

    I have three things right now that I’m praying not only are used for good but that God literally turns around into restoration, reconciliation, and deliverance. (And in so doing, makes my life – ahem – ‘living proof’ -ha- for a few unbelievers who have also taken this as an opportunity to let me know that God doesn’t really work in my life. ;-))
    Will you pray for those things for me?
    It would be so appreciated. 😉

    Love you all!
    deb

  7. 7
    deborah says:

    Checking in from Sawyer, KS

    1. Satan would like to curse my mariage. He wants my children and he wants to unseat me spiritually through church disagreements. He wants me to be wrapped up in “me” and consumed with selfishness. I am calling on God’s power to turn his curses back in his face.

    • 7.1
      deborah says:

      Published before I was finished…
      2. weeping backward-times of discouragement and giving up, BUT God has lifted me out of the miry clay.
      weeping forward-circumstances I would never choose, but have kept moving through with my hand in God’s

      3. Why Am I so Blessed? Despite trials etc. I come back to that title for my life right now.

      4. I am sowing through my weeping by still trusting Him, by choosing to move forwards, by throwing myself on Him.

  8. 8
    Michele says:

    Was that a hairbrush microphone?? Hahaha that’s so Siestaville, that’s funny! 😀

    Congratulations Vangie!! God bless your marriage!

  9. 9
    Melissa says:

    Melissa
    St. Mary’s County, MD

    1. I want you to talk about a few things that have happened in your lives that Satan would love to use to curse you ; Family full of alcoholics and divorces. Constant family strife. I grew up feeling that I was not worth loving, that people who didn’t even know me did not like me, and if they got to know me, they wouldn’t like me. People can sense those bad feelings inside, and hence, I was very lonely. God has shown me I am loved, and that none of that is true. I’m making friends, and making an influence for Christ! Take THAT, you big brimstone bully! 🙂
    Deuteronomy 23:5 but the Lord thy God turned the curse into a blessing unto thee, because the Lord thy God loved thee.

    2. Several of you share a season in your life when you feel like you wept forward and several others might consider sharing a season in your life when you wept backward: Weeping forward means weeping while doing God’s Will, an example would be leaving friends and family to go to Bible college. Weeping backwards means weeping because of sin, for example, making plans to leave your husband just because you don’t get along.

    3. If you were writing a novel that was secretly about yourself right now and right in this season and you had to name it in the form of a question, what would it be: Will I Ever Get It Right? (Am I strong or am I spoiled?)

    4. Practically speaking, how can you sow in your weeping?: When you and your husband fight and “he’s being mean”, keep a sweet spirit, love him and do right. Don’t be pious or proud. Take it to the LORD! And admit your fault to Him AND your husband; not THAT’s humility!

  10. 10
    Bev Brandon says:

    Bev from Austin, Texas…solo cause we are waist deep in wedding plans. Couldn’t get video to work over here so I’ll just post what spoke to me from study.
    Deut 23:5 – God refuses to listen to Baal but HE is listening to me & HE will change my curses of health problems with cancer, financial problems with foreclosure, relational problems that grieve me, employment problems that surprise us—I believe He will turn them into blessings whether it be through intervening, vindicating, overruling, or even His Silence. Weeping Forward. Sowing Forward. Falling Forward. Repentant over my management of life. Do I want the blessings more than I want to be holy? My book title: “What Do I Want More than the Love of my Beautiful God?” Do I really want to enjoy the blessings here or know God more? O my soul, don’t be weary—sow in repentant tears, reap in joy that’s unbelievable, here and there. Awesome opening to the study, Kelly!

  11. 11
    Forever His says:

    Lawan, Lawton, OK

    1. Satan loves to remind me of many things of my past, however, those things are long gone and with God’s word at hand, they do not affect me.

    2. I think weeping forward means to weep with an expectation of what God has planned for me. Not really liking it or understanding whatever it is but trusting enough to know that He is in control and has my best interest at heart. When God moved me to Lawton, OK I wept forward. Didn’t want to leave my friends in Japan, didn’t want to leave my job, worried about the future, but knowing that He is in control. God has certainly grown me nearer to Him since coming here. I still don’t like it but am thankful, never-the-less.

    3. How much longer, Lord?

    4. To learn first what God is showing me through the experience and then to help others from it.

    • 11.1
      Joyce Watson says:

      Lawan, So excited to know you live nearby, I live in Cyril which about 20 miles from Lawton. It would be neat to meet each other one day. Years ago, my family and I lived in Okinawa which now part of Japan.
      I will be praying for you.

  12. 12
    Betty says:

    Seymour, TN – semi-solo

    1. Satan has had glee in disrupting my marriage with PTSD and other issues. He wants to keep his fist on my adult son’s life.

    2. My mother died in March; I wept backward (still do) because of mistakes the hospital made during the last 4 days of her life. And because I miss her! I wept forward when I cleaned up her assisted living room (she lived alone until the month before she was 95!) and found her Bibles and Bible study notebooks. She knew where she was going!

    3. My novel: “How?”

    4. May my tears water my family and wash them with God’s love — to borrow Deb Owen’s phrase, to wash them with God’s restoration, reconciliation and deliverance.

    P.S. Last night I wrote a blog entry on God’s invisible finger (after reading Minter’s “as it turned out” on page 50-51)
    http://www.reflectionswithcoffee.com/2010/07/gods-invisible-finger.html

  13. 13
    Kimberly says:

    Kimberly, going solo with littles ones at my feet, in Idaho.
    1. Numerous times in my life I’ve felt unworthy or not enough because I was adopted. I felt my heritage was always going to bring me down. God really worked in my heart to help me learn Truth and stand firm on it. God placed me in a strong Christian family and I have found that I was created the way He wanted me to be, look like, etc. God has used me in ways I would never have imagined.
    2. Weeping forward- Being in pain, hurt, or sorrow but walking thru it. Letting it out, and letting God start healing, don’t bottle it up.
    3. My book, “Mary Poppins, could you please come live at my house? (at least until I get my Bible read?) 😀
    4. Don’t be afraid to be honest with God, He already sees what’s in my heart, let it out and let God heal me. I was thinking of how Ruth would not let Naomi go it alone. I felt that weeping forward at times needs someone to go it with you. Be accountable to someone so as not to let bitterness take root. Also, it hit me to realize that Moab was only 20 miles away, and on a clear day Ruth could look out and see the mnts of Moab. She had to make a daily choice to leave her “old self” and put on her “new self”. I, too, have to DAILY choose to trust God, continue forward, and “put off the old” and clothe myself in Jesus!

  14. 14
    D'Edra Jefferson says:

    logging in from Canyon, Texas.
    Going solo for this study.

    1) I personally struggle with going back and thinking about the past but there are 2 very major things that I came up with that satan used as an attack on my life but God turned them into Blessings for me. I was in an abusive marriage and he not only brought me through that but he also guided me to a wonderful man whom I have been with for 16 wonderful years and who is also the father of my 2 great kids. The other attack that God turned around would be that my daughter who was very sick is now a very healthy teenager who is about to get her driver liscense.

    2) To me weeping forward means that we don’t necessarily like where God is leading us and we are sad about it but we do it anyway knowing that His way is right. Weeping backward means that we don’t follow what God wants for us because it is too hard and we move backward on his path for us.

    3) The title of my novel would be:
    Why Can’t I Follow That Leader?

    4) To me sowing my weeping would be to lay down our sorrow so that God can “grow” them into blessings. To sow seeds can be done by scattering and we can throw our cares and burdens down and take “up” what the Lord has for us that is so much better.

    The Lord is bringing me through a very difficult season in my life right now and any prayers that can be said for me are Greatly Appreciated.

  15. 15
    Hilary says:

    1. When my husband and I started dating it caused a huge rift in his family, and no one would talk to us for several years. Some of his family members came to our wedding but not all of them, and none of them chose to be involved in anything that had to do with us for several years. We were completely ostracized… until our first daughter was born. She was born via emergency c-section, and in that process my intestines were sliced open. The surgeon didn’t know this had happened, so they sewed me closed with an open bowl, and over the next several days I got sicker and sicker, and no one could figure out why. By the time the doctors found the problem and went in to fix it, I was very, very ill. Satan surely would have loved to use that “accidental” affliction to curse us, but God used that literal near-death experience to bring about restoration and forgiveness between my in-laws and us. My mother in law actually apologized to me, which is something I never thought she would ever do. Now we have a great family relationship, and my husband’s family is very involved in the lives of our children, and to top it all off, I didn’t die in childbirth, either! The LORD my God does love me. 🙂
    2. Weeping Forward – I left my childhood home and the bosom of my family as a young adult, moving from Southern California to Western Michigan, to start my life out here. I knew without a doubt God was drawing me to this place, though I didn’t and still don’t fully understand why, but leaving my family was very, very hard. I wept for months. I still weep from time to time, missing the closeness of the automatic companions I had in my mother and siblings. It is very hard to celebrate anything when you are alone. At the same time I see very clearly how God ordained this “alone” time to prepare me for the work He would have me do, and now how He has begun to bring restoration to me in the form of an amazing church family I never thought would exist for me. In many ways I feel just like Ruth – I left my home, my family, and my family’s ways, to join in the family of God in a totally foreign place. Michigan is about as foreign to Southern California as you can get. 🙂
    3. “Are we there yet?” Or “Is it time?”
    4. I think sowing while weeping requires plain old obedience. Obedience to do what He tells you to do – sow. Even if it hurts, and even if you don’t want to. When my kids don’t want to be obedient, but are, the results for them are like these shouts of joy and laughter! Same goes for me and my Father.

    • 15.1
      Hilary says:

      Shootfire – I’m in Hudsonville, MI. And that’s BOWEL, not bowl. LOL

    • 15.2
      Michelle says:

      Glad you are trusting God to bring you closer to church friends in Michigan. I live in Lansing and love our state. God’s creation is so abundant everywhere I turn although someday I would like to visit Cali. Grow where you are planted!

  16. 16
    Cindy Detro says:

    Well, firstly, let me say, these are the times I wish I could see … I wanted to see that mic! LOL.

    Secondly, I will be leaving Cincinnati moving back up towards home this week, so I’m not sure if I’ll have access to the Internet when we’d normally do our Friday gathering, so I wanted to leave my responses here.

    Something that Satan has always, always, always wanted to use against me has been my blindness. I’m just a couple short months away from 30, and ever since about my early 20’s or so, I determined in my heart that I was NOT going to let it stop me from what God was showing me to do. I needed to determine to do that rather than let Satan try to tell me God would never use a “blind girl”. Also, when I was 18, I was raped. For so many years after that, Satan would tell me, “Oh, Cindy, God is not going to use someone like that”, and, “You’re not pure because of it”. I’m here to tell you that God has TOTALLY shown me differently, praise His Sweet Name!

    I think for me, when I surrendered early this year to God’s call to full time ministry, ever since then I’ve had to weep forward because so many in my life don’t understand what it is I’m surrendering to do … even I’m still waiting for God to show me, I just know he wants me in full time service! I’ve wept backward when I’ve let Satan tell me I was worthless for so long, even when I had the victory (see paragraph above).

    I get the inspiration for the book title from a song off of Steven Curtis Chapman’s Speechless album called, “Whatever”. Yes, many people think “Whatever”, is something strange but, the song basically says, whatever the Lord says, I will obey.

  17. 17
    pluschei says:

    Pam in San Diego, (solo). I’m loving this study!!! 1. The enemy would love nothing more than to make me believe I was cursed, growing up with an alcoholic father, with seeds of dysfunction. Thank the Lord, for the freedom from the chains of that. 2. “Weeping forward” seems to me that it’s “an ache for more” uncertain of the future, totally trusting the Lord and letting go of anything from the past. 3. My season right now is, (keep in mind I’m in my 50’s) “What happened to my body and why do hormones have so much control?” 4. This was so good!!! Sowing in weeping feels like I cry the tears in order to grieve what I have lost to gain what I don’t know yet, but hold on in faith, believing God for. Thank you…..

  18. 18
    Jody says:

    MN. Going Solo! Never Blogged before.
    1. So, already Satan is using my insecurity ( which he uses to curse me) to tell me I have nothing to contribute here… But, God has taken my hands and so, here I am trying to sow a seed or two.
    2. I just completed 7 years of weeping forward. Driving my precious son with a non-verbal learning disorder to his school some 35 miles away from home. Right thru St. Paul/Mpls., during rush hour, no carpool for 3 years, back and forth and so on, some 115,000 miles later! Never an accident, never so much as a flat tire! But, I wept many times in the hours of sitting in traffic, blizzards, and downpours, texting drivers, “close calls”, etc… The financial burden of private school, not wanting to do any of it. But doing it! And God has blessed me with the most amazing child! He just graduated High School!! And I would do it all over again… weeping!
    3. Why is Jody so afraid of this next chapter in her journey?
    4. God has proven to me time and again that He is with me!! Why do I continue to fret? I will continue to keep moving forward, I just want to be on God’s path. Help me see it, LORD!

    • 18.1
      Michelle says:

      You go girls. Let God’s waterfall of grace cover you and He will guide you in your next journey. Congrats on your son, you must be so proud!

    • 18.2
      Donise says:

      what courage you’ve shown for your son! we suspect that maybe our son (who is 7) may have a nonverbal learning disorder (or is it any other number of undiagnosed disorders?) very frustrating to know how to best advocate for him or to get a real diagnosis but wow he is one special kid-he teaches me more than I will ever teach him.
      Glad that you are here!

      • Jody says:

        Best to you with your young one! Try and get a diagnosis and get to know the disorder, we were so lucky to find a school that taught him how to advocate for himself among so many other great things. You may contact me at jodyjamas@comcast.net.
        Glad you are here, too!

  19. 19
    Melissa says:

    And why does my picture keep disappearing? I got it when I was in Bible college and it took me years to find a digital copy!

  20. 20
    Shannon Costanzo says:

    Shannon from Kissimmee, Florida. Solo. Well Satan wants to curse me with painful endometriosis and infirtility. I have wept backward feeling that it is my husbands fault (like Rachel)..”give me a child or I will just die!” I do have a daughter from a previous marraige but desire a child from my second husband. I am learning to weep forward. God will make this curse a blessing!! Even if it’s to encourage other women, then so be his will. His ways are better than my own. (Psalm 113:9 He settles the barren woman in her home as a happy mother of children. Praise the Lord!) No more “woe is me!” but “Praise to Thee!”
    My novel title is.. ‘Just who is Shannon following in her journey?’
    May I not be distracted by life’s “berries” but seek God’s divine presence in all I do.
    My husband loved the flatbread.. He can’t wait for me to cook some more. ha ha

    Also I stole/borrowed “All About Vangie” for “All About Emmah” (my daughter) and “All About Mommy”. My daughter was watching the video and liked to use it for our diva moments.
    God bless my siesta sisters!
    Shannon

  21. 21

    I’ve answered this with my group of 150 women online,yet I wanted to share this one answer here for Beth to read, because it means so much to me:

    I can sow in my weeping when I focus on scripture verses as I weep, resisting temptation to focus on failure, fear or frustration.

    • 21.1
      texatheart says:

      Christine,
      I learned that also last year as we memorized scriptures. I have not experienced anything so powerful than hiding God’s word in my heart. Boy, did Satan take notice too.

  22. 22
    Norma says:

    Norma from Lima, Ohio- Solo-
    First of all praying for K!
    1) The Curse – years ago when comtemplating divorce from my former husband – a non recovering alcoholic to this day : (
    He claimed that I “would grow old alone”. To this day this is one of my greatest struggles / curses of being lonely. I claim that God will continue to bless my life with faithful/ trustworthy people.
    2) Weeping forward means accepting God’s blessings and challenges – sometimes with tears and praying in thanksgiving and petition to move ahead with the GRACE of God.
    My biggest weaping backwards occurs frequently when issues, worries, concerns consume my thoughts I use food even in the middle of the night to keep my wallowing in those same issues.
    3) My title – I am going through letting go of my 22 yr old college grad and 20 yr old college junior which is very confusing to me as to what my role is. So —- “What is a mom a couselor/friend/advisor or hotel clerk?”
    4) I wrote a prayer for this (in response to number 3 above) … Dear God- As my role of mom changes, let the tears come when they need to. Let the goodness that I have planted in their hearts burst at the seams. Let me continue to sow / find ways to be the best mom for them. Let my words be pleasant and encouraging to them. Let me continue to find ways to fill the voids in my life that their “growing up” has caused. AMEN!

    • 22.1
      Michelle says:

      Grow old alone? Never! God has been with you the whole time and continues to be. I’d rather grow old with God than without Him. You have an audience of 1 – God. Look forward to what God has in store for the next half of your life with your kids gone. Oh, you can spend so much more time with God, I’m almost jelous!

    • 22.2
      Melissa Ford says:

      Thanks for sharing Norma. I’m so glad you are doing this study and sharing alongside all of us other siestas. You are a brave woman…choosing to forgive and take care of your family when at times you feel your world is crumbling. Again, I’m so glad you are here!!

  23. 23
    Tamara Ward says:

    Summer Siesta Bible Study – Beth Moore
    Ruth: Loss, Love, and Legacy
    Week Three – July 6, 2010

    Arlington, Virginia
    Solo
    In my office with the door closed

    *I am absolutely loving this study! *
    * Congratulations Vangie*

    I’m not sure if it’s because Father’s Day just passed, but the questions this week and last reminded me of my earthly father, and I’ll tell you why……….

    1) I’ve never known my earthly father very well. He disappeared pretty soon after my birth and after years of looking for him, around my 18th birthday I finally found his number and called him. He very curtly told me he pretends I don’t exist, and I would be best to do the same. Pain is not even the word to describe what it felt to hear that, and I know the enemy had years of victory in my life, because it affected me in so many ways. The fact that my mother AND my grandmother never knew their fathers either further proved that satan had a hold on my family tree. That is until I found The Father who never left me nor forsaked me.

    2) I‘ve wept forward and backward when it comes the pain of my own flesh and blood denying me, but I’ve got an awesome testimony on this. The Friday before Father’s Day (of this year) I thought to look up my biological father on Facebook. Part of my job entails involves tracking my agency’s following in social media, so I wasn’t just on it for personal reasons. But I found him almost immediately and saw videos he had posted of his daughter’s recent graduation and prom…..the proud papa. I was destroyed mentally and wondered why I had even tortured myself this way. I contemplated leaving work and just going home and to bed, but I had a meeting I had to attend. I wasn’t praying; wasn’t opening up my Bible that I bring to work with me everyday; just crying and feeling sorry for myself. Suddenly a calendar popped up about Christine Caine (Hillsong church)speaking at my church that evening. I had planned to go earlier but was only thinking of going home after this meeting. satan, didn’t want me to go siestas; he was putting all kinds of awful thoughts into my head, but I made it, broke down in the church bathroom, but I still came and her whole sermon was on letting go of the past. Yep, I was still crying, but it was definitely weeping forward at that point.

    3) My book would be titled, “Why Don’t You want to Know Me?”

    4) With all I’ve said, I guess it’s quite obvious that the pain is still very much alive and well in my life. Since I probably haven’t cried my last tear, one thing I can strive to do is make sure when those tears come, I let God lead me forward as they fall.

    • 23.1
      doo-dah says:

      I just want you to know I care….and will be praying for you.

    • 23.2
      Michelle says:

      Oh dear one. If you get a chance, do Beth’s study “Breaking Free – the Stories”. You will learn so much about yourself and God’s grace in the journey.

    • 23.3
      rene sandifer says:

      Tamara,
      Just wanted to say, I feel your pain, too. My father was in our home until he divorced my mom while I was in college. Accomplished and smart, he was a functioning alcoholic.Committed adultry 26 out of 29 yrs. while married to my mom… in 5th grade I figured it out and went to my mom.( and yes, she stayed in that marriage with the affair for 10 more yrs) He re-married 2 times after their divorce, before dying 5 years ago. Never was I told “I love you”, never had any REAL relationship…although not w/o years of trying on my part. I cannot possibly tell you the destructive nature that went on in our house. Years of Satan devouring my innocent soul. SOMEHOW through the absolute GRACE of JESUS alone, I sought him out and when I finally realized which voice was His, I RAN with my whole being towards Him. “They” say one’s earthly father relationship often affects the relationship we have with our Heavenly Father. I am here to testify that it is one reason why I have SUCH an unquenchable thirst for Him through 30 years. My point is, I know the need to KNOW your father is real, whether one grows up with him physically or not. I weep for what will never be, and I once again bury my head in HIS word and cry out for Him to hold me. I am so sorry, Tamara. I believe we were meant to be adorded by our fathers. The enemy is good at his game. The good news is I see my daughters KNOW the love of their father now, and am SO thankful God stopped that curse.
      I have gone on too much, I am praying for you. You are on the right track! Your God will make beauty out of the ashes. Just watch Him!!
      xoxo, rene

      • Tamara Ward says:

        Thanks so much! Just read your beautiful words this morning. I know I am not alone in my pain, and sometimes that knowledge alone makes it bearable. I really appreciate you taking the time to share your story with me too.

        God Bless You!

  24. 24
    Tamara Ward says:

    revised entry….

    Summer Siesta Bible Study – Beth Moore
    Ruth: Loss, Love, and Legacy
    Week Three – July 6, 2010

    Arlington, Virginia
    Solo
    In my office with the door closed

    *I am absolutely loving this study! *
    * Congratulations Vangie*

    I’m not sure if it’s because Father’s Day just passed, but the questions this week and last reminded me of my earthly father, and I’ll tell you why……….

    1) I’ve never known my earthly father very well. He disappeared pretty soon after my birth and after years of looking for him, around my 18th birthday I finally found his number and called him. He very curtly told me he pretends I don’t exist, and I would be best to do the same. Pain is not even the word to describe what it felt to hear that, and I know the enemy had years of victory in my life, because it affected me in so many ways. The fact that my mother AND my grandmother never knew their fathers either further proved that satan had a hold on my family tree. That is until I found The Father who never left me nor forsaked me.

    2) I‘ve wept forward and backward when it comes the pain of my own flesh and blood denying me, but I’ve got an awesome testimony on this. The Friday before Father’s Day (of this year) I thought to look up my biological father on Facebook. Part of my job entails involves tracking my agency’s following in social media, so I wasn’t just on it for personal reasons. But I found him almost immediately and saw videos he had posted of his daughter’s recent graduation and prom…..the proud papa. I was destroyed mentally and wondered why I had even tortured myself this way. I contemplated leaving work and just going home and to bed, but I had a meeting I had to attend. I wasn’t praying; wasn’t opening up my Bible that I bring to work with me everyday; just crying and feeling sorry for myself. Suddenly a calendar reminder popped up about Christine Caine (Hillsong church)speaking at my church that evening. I had planned to go earlier but was only thinking of going home after this meeting. satan didn’t want me to go siestas; he was putting all kinds of awful thoughts into my head, but I made it, even broke down in the church bathroom, but I still came and her whole sermon was on letting go of the past. Yep, I was still crying, but it was definitely weeping forward at that point.

    3) My book would be titled, “Why Don’t You want to Know Me?”

    4) With all I’ve said, I guess it’s quite obvious that the pain is still very much alive and well in my life. Since I probably haven’t cried my last tear, one thing I can strive to do is make sure when those tears come, I let God lead me forward as they fall.

    • 24.1
      Melissa Ford says:

      Thanks for sharing Tamara. I heard John Eldredge speak the other day and he said that when God created Eve, she was the “finishing touch” the final stroke of His Masterpiece. In you God created outward and most definitely inward beauty. You are worth the battle and it is not yours to fight alone…I am praying for you but most importantly your Heavenly Father is interceding for you…remember Tamara…YOUR prayers to your Father are like a sweet perfume to Him.

  25. 25
    Brooke says:

    Cantonment, FL

    Health issues resulting in healthier eating habits for some, but have caused mealtime-stress during family celebrations, seemingly delay of God’s blessings of certain desires He has placed in our hearts, attacks of the enemy that discourage hope. We are believing that God is turning these curses into blessings because of His love for us. The end of all things is at hand and we will be diligent in prayer.

    Weeping forward and sowing in tears: believing God, pursuing Him, maintaining hope, serving Him, studying His word, asking others to pray with us, trusting His timing.

    Book Title: Are We There Yet? (How Much Longer?)

  26. 26
    Valerie says:

    Solo: Belford, NJ–My marriage was in shambles. I sought Godly counsel for two years. I wept forward and backward during this time-mostly backward because each time I thought it was getting better something would happen to turn it around and I would believe the lies. I decided to have a retreat with God, for Him to help me in my decision to divorce my husband- but God taught me otherwise. He led me to Scriptures on forgiveness and love. I chose to follow His leading and He turned my marriage into a blessing.
    How did I sow during my weeping? I pressed on despite my circumstances and continued through my tears!
    My novel would read–Can you hear me Lord, it’s one of those days?

  27. 27
    Denise says:

    Jefferson City, TN

    1) Satan uses fear quite successfully on me- fear in most areas of my life but today specifically, fear of what others will think of me. I am learning to defeat those fears by addressing them with scripture. This is turning my curse into a blessing by bringing me closer to the Lord, reminding myself of His promises, and growing me up in Him- I need only concern myself with what pleases and honors God.
    Another curse I want to see turned into a blessing is a very strained relationship with a sibling I once considered my best friend. It affects so many more than just the two of us, and I pray that God will bring about a healing change.

    2) When the relationship with my best friend/sibling was severed, it felt like I had suffered the deaths of two people in my world. I wept backward by going down into the pit, I wept forward by digging into the Word. While this relationship continues to be very strained and painful, I am so thankful for it because it has brought about needed change in me. God has been using it to refine me and bring me closer to Him. I still weep over if from time to time, but I am ever so thankful for it- without it I would not have had the crash course in God 101. I’ve been in church my whole life and thought I was a ‘good’ Christian. Now He has opened the eyes of my heart and given me a new understanding of Him, His words of life leap off the page and fill me with excitement. “the Lord has done this, and it is marvelous in our eyes” Psalm 118:23

    3) Lord, Will I Ever Learn All that You Want Me to Learn?!

    4) I can sow in my weeping by using my experiences to recognize those in need, to encourage and help them to grow in Him by sharing with them what He has done for me and how He is continuing to work in my life. Through my weeping, He has increased my empathy for and understanding of others. The more I study and grow in the Word, the more excited I become about Him and want to share Him and what He’s doing with others.

  28. 28

    Quick question:

    Is our homework to be the next two sessions. Just wanted to make sure before I instruct my group to do so. Thanks.

  29. 29
    Alicia says:

    I am a solo study so I can reply now ;p

    1- My example of when this occured in my personal life was when I chose unwisely to marry the wrong person in my youth. I am now divorced and remarried and while I know that is not God’s perfect plan, He still ‘turned the curse into a blessing’ for me, through His deliverance of this situation.

    2- Weeping forward means pressing on throughout your distress or times of trials. I have wept forward through uncertian times, an example being now, when our future is uncertian, and I have wept backward- in a family relationship where I am ashamed to say I did not represent God well- I did not show His love or trust what He was doing, instead I worried, fretted and tried to handle it myself, which of course, was not helpful.

    3- The title of my life season right now would be “Where Is God Taking Our Family?” My husband is out of work after 21 years at his place of employment and our future is uncertian. Health insurance is a great need right now and I do not know what the Lord has planned, but I do trust that whatever it is, it is good. Romans 8:28 “And we know that all things work together for good to them that love God, to them who are the called according to his purpose.”

    I feel somewhat like Ruth, not knowing what this new place holds, but I do know that as the Lord ‘divinly orchestrated’ Ruth’s circumstances, so will He ours.

    4- You can sow in reaping by praising God when you do not know where He is taking you or what He is doing. You can choose to trust Him. You can draw from looking back at what He has already done to remind yourself how good He is and what He can and will do for your future. So, my main answer to this question is you an sow in reaping by offering a sacrifice of praise- sometimes it is hard to praise when the road is uncler, but that is when God gets the glory, right?

    Many Blessings-
    Alicia

  30. 30
    Theresa says:

    Sylacauga, Alabama

    Satan could use my weakness, my flesh, to curse me. Thank you, Lord, for being there when I needed you most. I know that the enemy is lurking because there are signs everywhere but I’m determined to stand strong in You.

    Weeping forward—leaving something behind that I know is sinful and it means giving up a friend which is quite painful.
    Weeping backward—falling back into weakness. It may be fun and feed my ego but it keeps me from doing what I know is right and what is pleasing to God. Leave it alone!!

    The title of my movie, “Why Am I Here with the Dog and the Kids are at Disney?”

    I can sow in my weeping my trusting in the Lord and know that His plan for me is best.

  31. 31
    Sheri (Riverstones) C. Keswick Ontario says:

    Hi Beth,

    For me I think weeping forward is the equivalent of feel the sorrow and walk on, Don’t let the pain distract you to the point of immobility or to the point of retreat… There have been points in my life when the sorrow of this life has been to great that I have retreated instead of trusting God… Instead of feeling the pain and walking through it with Him… I said “enough”, “no more”, “I will not go on”, “I can’t”, “I won’t”. It was then that I wept backwards…. I became bitter like Naomi, but God in His graciousness reached out to me in the night and stayed by my side like Psalm 16:7-8 says… Even while weeping and running backwards, in the night I would wake up to hear myself singing hymns in my sleep…. He was ministering to my heart in the night… always staying by my side… I’d like to say I never weep backwards anymore… but I still sometimes get caught up doing just that… but the times are getting less and less and weeping forward is now a part of my life where it had never been before…

    My question would be- Sheri had overcome incredible odds and became what everyone else said was impossible, only to have much of what was established taken away again… Does this mean God is mad at me?

    • 31.1
      Sheri (Riverstones) C. Keswick Ontario says:

      Just to be clear on my question… I know God loves my wildly… I am secure in that… and I am seeking Him… Just not sure if God still does things like He did to Job (In my case this is not as severe…. ) But my question surrounds that issue… I just don’t want anyone to worry to much… I care for you all to much for that… Ok… enough said… LOL…

      • Sheri (Riverstones) C. Keswick Ontario says:

        Ok… I have thought about it again…And as a woman changing my mind does come rather naturally to me… maybe even more naturally than others…lol …. I think the question I would rather ask is:

        What can I learn about You Lord or about myself through this process of bringing me back to the bare essentials? I have nothing left to offer but myself… and I guess in the end that’s all any of us have… and that is all He seeks… hmmm

        • Michelle says:

          I think you’ve got it! Live in His presence and He will reveal to you what you need and what He needs from you. Your love!

        • Rebekah says:

          Hi Sheri! You saying you have nothing left to offer but yourself and that’s all He seeks made me think of Hosea 6:6. I don’t have my Ruth book in front of me, but the verses at the end of Week 2 Day 5 in Romans…it led me on a while goosechase through Scripture and what you said is so true. He only wants us…not what we can bring or just knowledge…He wants us. I’m not sure that made any sense whatsoever, but thought I’d share…maybe it made a little sense 🙂

  32. 32
    Karlys says:

    Karlys, solo, La Place, LA
    1. Satan has battled with me on several fronts. To name two: divorce (but God has used it for counseling for what NOT to do!), then remarriage (but God has blessed us in so many ways!); loss of job (but God led my husband to start his own business).
    2. When my husband was downsized, we wept while he continued the job search. We wept while we worked to develop the new business. When God led us to move in order to be near grandchildren, we wept while we packed.
    3. Will I ever grow up?
    4. Just because it looks like I might lose my job because of downsizing, I will continue to do my job well.
    Thank you for this opportunity to study HIS Word with you.

  33. 33
    Joyce Watson says:

    Joyce
    Cyril, Oklahoma
    Things that have gone from curse to a Blessing:
    could be summed up in the book you wrote on insecurity.
    Fear of being stupid, rejected, alone, unworthy, not good enough, not important, and relationships with others is like a disease I don’t fit in anywhere.
    Philippians 4:8 to think upon these things what is true, lovely, noble, pure, of good report, and praiseworthy has been very helpful to me. Also, I have had some Christian counselling and the book on “Insecurity” helped me tremendously! The Lord is my Securiy.
    There was a time I cried (forward_) and I told the Lord, I did not want to feel this way any more. All I needed was Him. I did not want to be self-centered, selfish or self-consumed, but focus on who God is and what He has for my life.
    I cried (backward) when those feelings try to slip in again (like now they know how you really are, they will hate you) and then pray God don’t let me go there…You are my security. I do not want to feel depressed and I will focus on the things that are in your word and Your blessings.
    Present season: working on these things_Life is worth living, Just Because He Lives_ I can do all things in Him, through Him and for Him
    Lord, I praise you and thank you for Your lovingkindness.
    Where can I go and escape, but into Your arms of grace. You know my very thoughts, yet You still care for me. Your righteousness is so perfect, yet I fail to be what You want me to be. Your mercy is beyond measure. You understand and Your thoughts toward me are not far off.
    Keep me close to You, O Lord. Keep me close to You. amen

  34. 34
    Lisa says:

    Ontario, Canada

    1. My oldest son has chosen to walk away from what he knows his truth and is leading a very reckless lifestyle. He has often said that he feels he is not here for a long time so he is going to have a good time. The consequences of some of his actions have been terrifying, but they could have been so much worse had it not been for the hand of God. Time and time again we have been able to point out to him how gracious our God is, much to Satan’s dislike, I am sure! I have also seen incredible fruit in the lives of his younger brothers as they watch their older brother struggle.

    2. I have wept forward through my husband’s job loss as the Lord had taken away an idol, but restored my husband. Thinking about the future was scary, but we were so provided for!

    3. A book title…..I Know You Don’t Put on Me More Than I Can Take, but Seriously??

    4. I am sowing through my weeping my staying in the word and being mindful that he will never leave me nor forsake me.

    • 34.1
      Rebekah says:

      Lisa, your book title cracked me up. And I say that not to laugh at you but to tell you that’s SO me and I wish I would have come up with it. One thing I thought about is (and I’m not sure where I heard this) but God doesn’t promise to not put more on us than we can handle, but no more than He can handle. Letting Him handle things though is easier said then done and I’m still learning this.

      Also, my older siblings made some ‘bad’ decisions that definitely let us younger siblings know what not to do and helped us not struggle where they did.

      Thanks for sharing.

  35. 35
    Fran says:

    Real quick Beth….Need you to know that I came home several months ago and had found our puppy locked up in my bedroom. NOT GOOD I TELL YA!!!! Guess what she had eaten? She ate the 1st 16 chapters of Genesis and a lot of my Esther workbook. I simply shut the door and walked away in denial. Later that night I cleaned it up. I was so sad. She is no better off after she ate the word. 😉

    FYI…still use that bible that the dog ate. I use it when I do bible studies and pray that noone refers to anything before Chapter 16. Ha! I did get another bible that I’m breaking in on Sunday mornings and note taking. Yes, I clearly know I’ve got a huge pride issue here. I’m praying about that. 😉

    Ok, be back later with my solo input on Ruth. LOVE this study so much.

  36. 36
    Jennifer says:

    I missed the last discussion mainly because I didn’t feel the need to join in, but I think this will be good for me! I actually started the Ruth devotional a few weeks ago, so I’ve stopped it so I can continue with this group.

    Beth, I heard you speak in Tampa, Fl a few months ago. What a blessing. The book table was wonderful. I didn’t purchase anything because of the long line, but made a list of the books I wanted and ordered when I got home. Thank you, Beth, for your down to earth personality that makes others want to study the Word and be more like Him. I’m not a people follower, and was honestly a little turned off by the crowd there in Tampa, but I walked away feeling like that through you the Holy Spirit spoke to each woman there.

    Ok now for my answers…

    1. I believe my relationship with my mom could be used by Satan as a curse. I could write several pages of this, but to simplify it, I’ve allowed God to take control, and have chosen not to be bitter.

    2. I’m weeping in a present state. My younger brother is in Iraq, and I worry for him (mentally and physically). I’m so proud of him and I know that God will protect Him, and if anything down happen to Him, it’s only because the Lord allowed it. It is still difficult though.

    3. “Why are we still here?” We are missionaries to Australia, and have been waiting 2 years for our visas. I don’t understand why the Lord has allowed us to wait, but I know it’s in His perfect time for us to move and serve Him there. (But I still don’t like to wait!!)

    4. Although we are waiting for our visas and there are times of weeping, I’m continuing to serve God where I am, and work on better preparing myself for the field. In that sense I believe I am sowing while weeping.

    Thank you again for doing this study.

  37. 37
    Melissa Ford says:

    Solo in VA.

    1. Marital strife and an “I can do it myself” attitude are things that Satan has tried to use to curse me and God is beginning to do a miracle and change that into a blessing. My husband and I have been in counseling for over a year. We have 3 children, our middle child has special needs and we found out we were pregnant w/ our 3rd when he was 11 months old and we were so scared b/c we were in the process of figuring out how to help #2 and how to stay afloat thru another pregnancy w/ a very sick and tired mommy. This led to lots of chaos in our home…I began to become the person I never wanted to be…I felt so angry and alone that I took the “I can do it myself” attitude w/ full force and it cost me b/c I couldn’t do it at all. God stationed a strong army of Christian leadership around our family that has held up our arms when we couldn’t or when all we wanted to do was throw punches. Thru lots of humiliating trials and tribulations I have been broken to the point of KNOWING..I NEED Him, I WANT Him and I DON’T want to do anything w/o Him. This can be turned around for God’s glory as my husband and I encourage other couples along the way and pray for them. I am blessed to have a man that is a believer and willing to “go there” to “get there”.

    2. To me weeping forward is not harboring bitterness, unforgivness and selfishness but fully relying on the Lord. Praising Him when we feel defeated and saying ” I don’t know what to do but my eyes are on you.” Knowing that God can handle my anger, tears and constant banging on His door day and night and asking Him the hard questions is a way of weeping forward. Taking the junk straight to the throne of God.

    3. Book Title in the form of a question: “Can I trust you? Can I really trust you? Do you promise to take care of me? Do you? What about my kids…will you take care of them too?

    4. Sow in weeping by doing a lot of my answer to #2. The first couple of years w/ my middle child were very hard. We had no idea what was wrong but I knew something was wrong, terribly wrong. I remember crying and asking God to help my son enjoy living and enjoy our family to know that he is loved and that we care for him b/c his life was so tough I wondered if, even as an infant he wanted to be around. I remember asking God if he was laughing at me while he watched me try to mother my children b/c I was doing such a pitiful job. I was so heartbroken and crushed..I would say…”are you laughing at me? is this funny to you, to watch me fail at something that I’ve always dreamed and hoped for?” it took time but thru my weeping, thru my honesty w/ my King I got my answer and it was enough.

  38. 38
    Jessica says:

    1. Satan would love to use my religious background to destroy me. I grew up in a fire and brimstone type of church where if something “made you grin it must be sin.” Up until the last couple of weeks, I’ve been in constant fear of losing my salvation or displeasing God. It was exhausting. The particular denomination I have grown up in has also taught some things that I now question as I don’t see some of the things in the Word of God. This has left me totally confused to the point where I wonder what the real truth is. All I know for sure is that a.) God exists and b.) God really does love me. Everything else seems like a big question mark. Please pray for me. I want to know the REAL God and the REAL truth about who he is.

    2. I have tended to weep forwards, then backwards, then forwards, etc. I’ll think, “God, you have this under control.” Then doubt sneaks in and I weep backwards. Then I’ll get a boost of faith and weep forward again. I need to learn to trust him so I can weep forward all the time.

    3. “God, Will You Please Set Me Free?”

    4. To me this means you may be crying, you may be broken, but sow in the Word any ways. We will eventually reap a harvest. Lord, may my harevest come soon… 🙂

    • 38.1
      Michelle says:

      The Word doesn’t lie and the truth will set you free. Just remember that the Old Testement was the forshadowing of Jesus. After Jesus’ resurrection came the new covenant and His commands to “love the Lord your God with all your heart, mind, soul and strength and to love your neighbor as yourself.” If you remember this and seek truth, you will be free! Don’t let “religion” get in the way, only let God! Praying for you.

  39. 39
    Shon Tetik says:

    Hello Siestaville from Perry, Ok.
    1. Honestly, I have to say this current season of my life is about as good an example as any for God to turn to blessing what satan tried to curse. I have always had a great group of friends about me. Small in number but big in support. I liked the idea that I had cultivated “quality over quantity.” So much for my cultivating! In the last year for different reasons, my closest friendships have ended. But the greatest blessing of my life has come over these months. I have grown in a walk with Him that I have never known. He is always there, always interested, always loving me, always willing to guide–He is my EVERYTHING! Thank You Jesus!
    2. To weep forward, I believe you have to be willing to go wherever or do whatever it is that God is calling you to. I heard a minister recently share that we must keep moving forward even when it seems the path we are on has ended. Certain seasons end and we must look to God for His direction in where to go next. But we can’t just stop and not move. We will miss so much of what He has for us if we try to wallow around in our misery and not walk with Him. It’s like walking around after surgery. Doesn’t feel so great at first, but eventually you get your life back and you’re so glad you did the work.
    3. My title–“Are We There Yet?”
    4. I believe we sow in weeping through prayer, study of the Word, serving–no matter how small it may seem, praising Him, and seeking Him. And sowing has to occur so that “moving forward” will happen.

  40. 40
    Gina says:

    HAIRBRUSH/MIC! LOL! Beth..you are so the Lucille Ball of…well…you just are! So fun! Loved the suck-in-your cheeks, bite-on-your-lip innocence. What a hoot you are!

    Ok…calming down…

    1.Curse into blessing: Wow..my heart is doin’ the Thumper thing right now. I guess a family curse would be shyness. Even though I have sung and even spoken to thousands of people, my shyness still takes over in a crowded room. This shyness mixed with the holy confidence I seem to have on stage…I’ve been told makes my presence intimidating. Yes…all of this has been a curse in my life…possibly controlling a calling that I’ve sensed for quite a while. It constantly baffles me.

    2.Weeping forward: Possibly means taking a step of obedience knowing that change is hard. I guess I did this a year ago. It was a hard decision…a decision that changed everything. But I chose to honor and protect the integrity of the Lord. Much like Ruth, I chose to side with the Lord God even though it meant losing family, friends, and a church that were very dear to me. The loss is so great that tears are blinding me as I write. But..the love of my life, the Lord Jesus, was worth it.

    3. Novel title: Really Lord…Turn Left?

    4. Sow in Your weeping?: Only broken ground can accept a seed, let it hibernate for a while then in time produce growth. I am so broken at this point in my life… and grateful for it. This “trial” round, I’ve chosen to let the Word break up the hard ground (it is so painful when the shovel digs in). A renewed presence of the Lord in my life is sowing seeds of contentment in Him. Each day I wake up, with the excitement of a child, looking forward to growth and change.

    Wow…thought provoking questions. Siestas, don’t wimp out on these. Even if you have to ponder a bit before answering…please do. I am learning so much from reading your comments…yes…all comments are ministry worthy!

    Question: Beth, are you on pins and needles for several days…waiting to see how we answer? You probably have trouble focusing on work. (grin)

    [You don’t have to answer…I think you have made it obvious what your answer would be. :)]

    Thank you for the “meat”. Muchly appreciated!

  41. 41
    Melissa E. says:

    Solo in Scarborough, ME

    1. The curse of never feeling good enough or that I am somehow damaged goods after being touched inappropriately but my grandfather and next door neighbor at the tender ages of 4-8. I praise the LORD that He has turned that time in my life into a blessing for me because of His great love for me. Yet, I still have a hard time receiving His love. I don’t know why when He is the perfect example of a protector and provider in my life. Kari Jobe’s song continues to play over in my head, “You are for me”.

    2. Weeping forward toward God; or at least trying. It is a daily choice to fully rely on God and move toward Him. I am nothing without Him and sometimes I neglect Him and try to do things in my own strength when all along He is calling for me to come to Him. He loves me the way I want to be loved despite how I try to walk in my own way. Lord, help me to fall forward into your arms. Thank you for your joy that comes in the morning. I love you.

    3. Are You Sure?

    4. By giving everything to the Lord, holding nothing back; letting him be the Lord of my life, my thoughts, my time, my resources, my all. I take Him at His word and trust Him to do exceedingly, far above all that I could ask or think. And I know He will, I just have tho chose daily, minute by minute to believe and in returnn receive all that He has for me and more.

  42. 42
    Peggy Fletcher says:

    Peace River,Canada/Solo

    Question #1- something Satan has used in my life to curse myself and my family is my fathers mental illness and 35 year drug addiction ( prescription drugs) and mental abuse & manipulation.This has brought about the recent divorce of my parents after 50 years of marriage.I continually struggle with God’s purpose and presence in the midst of this. I am claiming Deuteronomy 23:5. A side note on this, Beth’s Inheritance study did help me to see this matter in a different light but I am still struggling.

    Question #2- Right now I seem to be in a season of weeping forward somedays and backwards others. Maybe I am understanding this wrong but I am having to trust God in new ways and on many different levels somedays I can move forward and trust and not have fear and other days I allow the fear to get the better of me.

    Question #3- Book title would be “Tossing Waves” (trying not to be one)

    I don’t have my book yet so I have relied on the sample chapter that you posted.(thankyou so much) I am a week behind because of this but am just glad I made the decision to start.Thanks to Amanda for answering my email about sending a book I look forward to it’s arrival.
    I see the value of the accountability of writing in to this blog. I have found it very challenging to put down for all to see my thoughts but it is a good thing. God Bless You all.

  43. 43
    Kathy Wilshire says:

    Solo from Mansfield, TX

    1. past sin- I still occaisionally allow Satan to throw it in my face, even though I know I am forgiven of it and that he no longer holds it against me. Satan uses it to make me feel unworthy. Also, a history of alcoholism and drug abuse in my extended family often causes me to worry about my young adult kids, which I know is only Satan trying to get my mind off God’s promises.
    2. Weeping backward-past sin, see above.
    Weeping forward-Death of 9yo nephew Caleb 4 years ago from complications of brain tumor. Still don’t understand why, but know I will see him in heaven and everything will be made new. Also this season of my life with young adult children; I have to weep knowing that God will work his will in their lives at some point, not necessarily on my timetable.
    3. What’s next? I’m still struggling with what God’s plans are for me in this new season of my life.
    4. I have to continue to pray and claim God’s promises that his word will never return void and that he will work everything for our good in HIS time while I seek to do his will daily.

    In His Grip,
    Kathy W

    • 43.1
      Julie plosz says:

      Kathy W
      wow, I thought I was looking in a mirror. We have a lot in common; from our past to our present.
      This past spring I lost my nephew, several things went wrong with a bone marrow transplant, no cancer, just a hope to be cured of a genetic blood disorder. We so believed this was God’s answer for his healing. he was 27
      So I am learning to trust God with the why’s but my sister’s walk is so much harder that I feel I am sowing seeds while weeping for her and family. I know God has her on her own journey, but she is not doing so well. I think I tend to focus on other’s struggle so i don’t have to look at my own. I think reading your entry, forced me to have a good look inside. thanks!

  44. 44
    Charissa says:

    West Chester, OH

    1. Satan would love to use my relationship past to curse me. I have choosen to focus on learning from them and moving forward.

    2. Weeping forward means to me moving even though you don’t want to or can’t imagine it. I lost my job in 2008. I wept forward. My identity was tied up in the job that I did. I am now a stay-at-home Mom and couldn’t imagine a better job to be identified with.

    3. Title right now: Why Can’t My Husband Find a Job?

    4. During my time of weeping forward, I had no choice. I had two small boys to take care of and focusing on them and the daily tasks moved me through. Looking back, I see that God had other plans for me…

    • 44.1
      Bobbie says:

      Will be praying for your Man to find a job!

    • 44.2
      Rebekah says:

      What weeping forward means to you is exactly what I couldn’t figure out to say. My little sister is moving to the Philippines as a missionary in a month and a half and even though I know it’s good (spreading the Gospel, she’s being obedient to His call on her life) at the same time I don’t want my sister on the other side of the world. For 3 years. I’m still struggling with weeping forward with this. And I know it’s me being selfish, but it sure is hard to weep forward.

      I’ll be praying for your husband to find a job!

  45. 45
    Brie says:

    Amarillo, TX
    Solo -ish. My best friend in Lubbock, TX and I are emailing our answers to each other to hold each other accountable.

    1. I have had so many curses into blessings. My biggest is just the curses in my childhood: parents divorce, difficult step-family situations and being abandoned by my mother. God has used all of those for blessings to make me first of all deeply desire to be different, deeply desire to seek Him (and I’ve learned His LOVE is the only constant), and to deeply desire to help others. I’m a mental health therapist that works with children and adolescents and I’ve been able to really specialize in treating clients that are children of divorce. I also had a molar pregnancy that was difficult to go through but God used it to just draw me into an even closer, more intimate, more dependent relationship with him. Satan so wanted to destroy me through that, and even though I did weep backwards some, God used it!
    2.I feel like God has always been holding my hand and gently turning my face to weep forward. When I listen to him, when I trust Him and when I allow Him…I weep forward. When I don’t, I’m stuck in my own little pit and week backward. The majority of my weeping has been forward though.
    3. “Is this where the healing begins?” I’ve just been on a marriage intensive retreat (http://www.intensives.com) that was amazing for our marriage and just is on the way to leaving a legacy of love for our family. We experienced so much healing there. I heard the song while we were there by 10th Avenue North called “healing begins” and it just plays over and over in my head. I had to make that into a question, although I do know the answer…yes it has begun!
    4. I’ve spent the last 9 years of marriage with a lot of sowing and weeping. I feel like we are finally BOTH reaping our steadfastness, stick-to-it-tiveness, commitment, and willingness to find better for our marriage through this intensive (EVERYONE SHOULD GO!!!!!) God encouraged and promised me better along the way and I’m now reaping those promises even on hard days.

    • 45.1
      Lauren says:

      I love that song by Tenth Avenue North… heard it first at Winter Jam and you’re right… it just kind of sticks in your head. When we decide to approach God with our whole heart, the process of healing is instantaneous (spelling?) even if the pain still stays for a while. Often the pain stays because it is something we don’t want to leet go of.

  46. 46
    marisa says:

    hi everybody ,
    i’m writing from nc blue ridge mountains
    #1.I think satan will try to curse by finding weakness
    in our spritual life and using it against us.
    #2.weeping foward for me is pressing thru I weep forward by knowing God keeps his covenate and gives mercy because we love Him
    #3. book title:How long before the VICTORY?
    #4.sow weeping harvest joy.
    thank you for this study a wonderful chance to share and learn blessings marisa

  47. 47
    abbensmom says:

    1. Like a cliche, my enemy has used the dysfunction of every possible aspect of family to feed me lies, sowing self-doubt, hatred and despair. I won’t complain that it was really hard to resist all the time, because I bought a lot of those lies, and very recently have had to reap my own whirlwind, having believed and acted upon what the enemy, very reasonably, convinced me of. Public perception of character and reputation is pretty low for me, and I am acutely aware that Satan has struck a devastating blow, and my witness is as a sounding gong to many who would rather I just sit down and shut up, and live the rest of my life in obscurity and regret. I’m in the desert’s valley of dryness and humility, but I know that I’m walking out of the valley, and that God is leading the way. He has brought me to a lowly place to see the power I had afforded the enemy in my life, but He also gave me, and gives me still, the power of the Holy Spirit to rebuke and repudiate my enemy, and the soul deep knowledge that He is making all things, including me, new, and He will use me and my witness to deliver a crushing blow as well. When I decided to go on with my life, literally and figuratively, I realized that this life IS a battlefield. And you can either pick up your sword and fight, or you can lay down and let life happen to you. I chose to fight, and I think that is the beginning of the blessing God is shaping out of many many many curses.

    2. And that’s where I am weeping forward. Really, it’s all hard right now, but I look forward to being useful to God. I believe I’m useful now, and I know that my decisions, words and actions have had tremendous impact in the heavenly realm. The enemy did not convince me to curse God and die. I had to become useless before the Lord could really put me to work. Weeping backward is sitting down and watching the replay tapes with the enemy, letting him show me all the ways I dropped the ball and am not cut out for this. (And by “this,” please read “anything.”) At the end of that line of thinking lies only despair and death.

    3. The title of the book would be “How did I get all the way over here, and would You please come and get me?”

    4. I think answers 1-3 are all the answer to my number 4. I’m still weeping, but I’m sowing a new life that I know the Lord will use to His glory.

  48. 48
    Kristi says:

    Well our little group never made it past question number 2!!! We were one person shy in our group today and yet we went longer than expected and didn’t even make it through the whole thing–we had so much to share on just the first two points!
    M shared about her struggle with infertility and how many people in her family are currently struggling with the same thing. She is determined to believe God in this and to weep forward as she trusts in His timing. We are praying for her healing. She also shared about the struggles with her family’s business and the confidence she has that this is exactly where God has them even though it doesn’t look like what she thought it would look like.
    B and K both shared about wounds inflicted by the church and the healing that is coming out of it. Our goals for this summer Bible study are already, I think, coming to fruition in what God is doing in our hearts. We are getting in His word, trusting His heart, and calling on Him in prayer. B and K both felt that they were closer to God in worship and prayer in their teen years (a decade ago) and want to recapture the passion without the pride of the churchy girls they once were.
    What I’m really reporting here is that our group had a good, good, good talk today even though we didn’t make it through all of the discussion questions. Praise God!

    • 48.1
      Sandy says:

      Our group went long, too and was really good. I can’t believe how many are going solo, and there are still a lot of groups, too!

  49. 49
    Loretta says:

    Gainesville, GA

    1. Things to turn into blessings which Satan would love to curse would include divorce and fear during a change in job requirements.

    2. I have wept going forward with this new change in job requirements/assignment.

    3. Is love still here?

    4. You sow in weeping knowing that God is working things out and there will be a harvest.

  50. 50
    rjm says:

    I’m not sure where to ask this question at….by where can I find a copy of the commissioning from the STL conference? Thanks for your help!

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