Hey, Siestas!
Several of you asked this week about the upcoming schedule for our Siesta So Long Insecurity discussion group. All of a sudden I realized that it was just days away and I’d better hop on it! I’ve had the shelf date continually in my mind but my priority attentions to it have been shoved behind the SMT Celebration and the launch of Tuesday night Bible study. My blond brain can only sufficiently handle one thing at a time and it’s finally time for this to be the one thing.
For those of you who aren’t up to speed on the subject, this blog community was my biggest resource and, hands down, my most valuable one for the new book, So Long Insecurity. I thought it would be so appropriate and insightful (and fun) to go through it together when it comes out. Well, it’s coming out on Tuesday so we better get this big ball rolling! I’ll put the information in the form of an FAQ for those of you who find that kind of layout most helpful. So here goes:
What’s the plan?
To go through the book together here on the blog over the course of nine weeks. It will conclude the week prior to the SLI simulcast (on April 24th) and I’m anticipating God using our discussions here to add insight into the messages I’ll share that day. He’s used you so many times in this ministry.
How will it work?
Every week I’ll give you a reading assignment (roughly two chapters a week) along with one or two questions based on that material. Those who want to respond will do so through posting comments.
Who should participate?
Anyone with two X chromosomes! Everybody’s welcome! Some of the things we do together on this blog – like summer Bible study and Scripture memory – are over the heads or outside the interests of many of our female coworkers, neighbors, siblings, or friends. Not this time. This subject matter was purposely written to be relevant for any woman trying to survive this culture with a little dignity. My prayer is that, in the pursuit of dignity, they will discover real Security. (Proverbs 3:26 NLT) I give you my word it is not a trap. It is what I believe from the marrow of my bones to be the Truth. If you’re unsure you want to risk asking someone outside the Christian community to join us, grab hold of the book quickly, read it for yourself and see if you think a few of your friends might be open to going through it. No pressure. It’s entirely up to you. God alone has the power to draw people to His Son.
When will we start?
So Long Insecurity hits the stands this coming Tuesday, February 2nd. I will give everyone who wants to participate one week to get your hands on a copy (bookstores, Amazon, etc.). Then, on Tuesday, February 9th, I’ll do a “roll call” (First name and city) to see who’s going to participate. That’s always a ton of fun. In an outreach setting like this one, it will be a blast to see brand new names. On Thursday, February 11th, we’ll start our reading assignments and our first week’s discussion questions. Each Thursday for the next nine weeks I’ll pitch another set of assignments and questions on the blog until we reach the conclusion. (For those who are afraid that one week might not be long enough to get a copy of the book in your hands, keep in mind that, even if you get yours late into the second week, the reading goes quickly enough to put you right on schedule.)
What if I don’t want to take nine whole weeks to read the book?
I just knew somebody was going to ask that question. I’m laughing but I’d be the same way. You can read the book as fast as you’d like then look back on it chapter by chapter as we slow down and do it together as a group.
But what if I don’t want to participate?
Then don’t! I’ll love you so much anyway and meet with you plenty of other times on the blog.
WOW. This is about to be a reality. I just have one last thing to say, Siestas. If you hate it, you helped me write it. SHARE MY PAIN!
I love you.
*Update*
You can sign up for the SLI DG on the roll call post.*
Hi. My name is Rebecca and I am second time blogger on this site. I backslid today! I had a major insecure moment today and my husband suggested that I BLOG!
I had to speak today for a worship service and as I was praying and mentally preparing myself to deliver the message. A man turns to me and he says, “I hear that you are a powerhouse.” He continues to say, “I want to see because we have a women’s day coming up and maybe we will bring you in.”
The first thing is that this statement is so “fleshy” that it begin to stir up so many different emotions within me. All I knew is that I needed to make sure that my message needed to be on point so that I could remain this powerhouse and so that this man would invite me to speak at his women’s day.
Well, I spoke on Philippians 2 and when I got to the portion that said, “Who being in the form of God thought it not robbery to be equal with God but made Himself of no reputation.” lol
He made Himself of no reputation and here I am trying to make myself of a reputation as a “powerhouse”.
It is sad…So immediately after the worship was over. I just continued to ask my husband how he thought that the devotional thought went. And he could not understand what was wrong with me. He hadn’t seen me like that since I began reading So Long Insecurity.
I recognized that that man’s statement was a trigger for my insecurities. I backslid! but I know that there is victory and I am going to keep pressing toward the mark. Thank you for this safe insecure anonymous blog site-smiling.
warm regards,
Rebecca
Hi Beth,
Have just read SLI and it really helped me recognize the root of my problems. The definition you gave cut right through me as it described me totally.
I praise God that you were willing to share your story to help us.
I shared my own story with a group of ladies at a retreat, and some tips from your book in overcoming Insecurity and many were in tears afterwards.
I have lent your book to one lady and cant wait to see how she responds.
It is difficult to be a pastor’s wife and deal with insecurity, but I am getting a handle on it now.
Love all your teaching… Keep up the awesome work.
Love, Lynne
Beth, I just read SLI and found it to be transformational. I felt the need to share it with the women in my Bible Study, so I copied Chapter 15 “What Are You Afraid Of?” along with the beautiful prayer at the end of the book. We read the prayer out loud together as we concluded our Bible Study together last week and everyone was so choked up we could hardly get through it. Being reminded that we are clothed with strength and dignity and can smile at the days to come is powerful stuff indeed. God knew we needed it–our discussion (and tears) that day had involved family members with cancer, a mutual friend whose 16 month old baby had just died, and on and on. So thank you. I truly loved the book!
Hi,
I recently finished reading So Long, Insecurity. I loved it! However, I have a question. You mentioned that we are clothed with strenth and dignity. That applies to the virtuous woman. Is it appropriate to apply that to every woman?
Thank you, Cheryl
I too just finished the “So Long Insecurity”. I did love it and learned a lot from it. My review of the book would be that it seemed there was a lot about insecurities concerning men and women relationships which is not a problem I can identify. My insecurities seem to deal a lot with feeling indequate, either in relationships friends and family, or things I need to do.
But your book really helped me identify these insecurities, and how, through God, deal with them and hopefully eliminate them! Thank you so much for taking the time and skill to write this book for all of us who can use it. Also for being vulnerable and sharing your life with us for our benefit!!!
Just finished it! Loved It! I have certaintly made this book my own- I have underlined, circled, and commented almost on every page.(my children have left a few of their own marks as well) The prayer in the middle ushered in a sweet and intimate time with my Lord! I have been crying out to God to rescue me from the approval of man/fear of man. Thank you for always reminding us to fight and to BELIEVE we can be free!! Believing Him more and more each day! Love, The Daughter of The King, Joy
I’ve been desperate for this message, delivered in exactly this way. I’ve been reading it over the past week, and thought I was getting it. Apparently I am a slow learner, because I got a text the other day, that I should have responded too with dignity, but instead I let it unsettle me, and responded like the pathetic impostor I’ve been trying to be free of…So, off to read it again, this time with pen in hand.
I’ll report back,
Nelleke
Hey Nelleke….I love to see what all of us “cracked, broken, vessels” say about our conditions as insecure women. I have loved this book and am in the process of reading it for about the 3rd time…I personally think most of the insecurity issues have to do with man/woman relationships, that is my particular issue..I would love to hear some comments from any woman who has literally magic-marked chapter 11 to death…..That was my area of need and I have all but worn out the pages with my yellow magic marker!!! Thanks Beth and Praise your Name Jesus, for giving this insight to Beth and therefore, allowing such healing to our hearts and minds!!!
I finished SLI this summer and LOVED it! I wondering if anyone has used the book with teens or knows of another great resource that is geared to their stage of life. I work with teenage girls, and they desperately need these concepts ingrained in their thinking. Thanks so much!
Terry
Terry,
I am a teenager, (19 now but I was 17 when I started reading Beth’s books) so I’ll try to answer your question! I have not read So Long Insecurity yet, but I love Beth Moore’s books! Some of my friends read her books too, but most of them are honors student and are either very into reading or very into Jesus. My youth group used one of Beth Moore’s books for a teen book study, and it went well. I guess it depends on the age/maturity level of the teen. But anyways, I hope that helped!
I would like to read this book with the ladies in my church, and was wondering if there are study questions to discuss that go with this book?
Thanks,
Bree
I have just started reading “So Long Insecurity.” I only made it to page 5 before I was in tears as I recognized myself, and many loved ones, in the pages. I was so disappointed to be unable to attend the simulcast back in April but it was my son’s 5th birthday and I didn’t feel right leaving him with a sitter. God has reminded me several times over the past few months to get the book because I truly believe He wants me to be free from my insecurities. I am looking forward to seeing what God will do through this book and hoping all the “siestas” out there will be blessed by it.
Hey, Jada! Welcome! I pray God really uses the message in your sweet life. I’m honored to serve you.
You sound like me Jada!!! I was in tears from the beginning….I felt like this book was written just to me!!!
Please forgive the duplication. I think I submitted this post to the wrong blog topic yesterday…
I’m about 2/3 of the way through So Long Insecurity and have received such new insight from the book!
I get a major dose of insecurity when I make an apology and get no response from the person. To be honest, the situation leaves me feeling empty and condemned even though I have repented to God and have been forgiven by Him. Thank You, Jesus…
I know my feelings are my responsibility and no one else’s, and I don’t fault anyone other than myself.
I so want to shake this issue and stop sinking!
I read SLI right after it came out. As I devoured the pages I saw myself everywhere! It was such a relief to finally understand the root of all my pain and loneliness. I thought things were under control until an issue with a friend relationship took a nasty tuen this week. I’ve gotten SLI out again and plan to circle, underline, and highlight the death out of it! Satan is going to LOSE thins fight. With God’s help I will overcome these feelings of inadequacy.
Wow! …. You got me girl!!! The words leaped of the page at me! Thank you for letting the Lord work through you. Thanks for being so candid! Tears ran down my face as I read your description of your make up artist pounding her heart with words of wisdom! It was like she was there saying it to me! Thank you Jesus! There will be a lot of heart pounding at my house! <3
SLI was so refreshing to read. I read it in 2 days!! haha It’s amazing to truly have a hunger to be satisfied in the Lord alone, and to be a Godly example to girls that I once was intimidated by. I’m 24 and have seen this book effect my whole entire life in a drastic way. It definitely took some kind of pressure off, and I am full of the Lord’s incomprehensible JOY. It’s amazing how insecurity robs women. I see it everywhere now. If I can’t rest in Christ, than I have no rest or security. It never dawned on me that women of all ages have insecurities. The best news is that He is with me every step of the way, to be more of who I was meant to be in Christ. The insecurity that I still battle is definitely men. I know that the Lord has given me a desire for a man so it’s a balance between a Godly desire and idolitry. However, as I’ve pressed into His word, the things of this world and approval of men become so dim in the light of his glory and grace. Thank you for being transparent, you really were used to change my life!
Dearest Beth,
You are a true inspiration! How refreshing that even while being in the spot light, you are willing to be vulnerable in order to help us with our insecurities. I am sure you have taken hits even by admitting you have insecurity. I am a pastors wife who is a transparent person and I get critisized for being so open, mostly by other pastors wives. They say I need to be strong and set an example, that I should be there for others but not open myself up. I see it like if I am not real than how will others open up to me? I am so tired of everyone pretending to be something they are not. I do have a question that I dont think was covered in the book. When you encounter someone with deep rooted insecurities, how do you respond to them without continually tripping their insecurity switch, even when you are not trying to? ie.games women play. I have a friend who is hot and cold..never know which one I will get. Most of the time she is so insecure she snubs me to hurt me, then if she hears that I have been with another friend, she gets even more upset. I just dont even know what to do. I dont want to play this game, but I feel she has me playing it even if I dont want to! I don’t want to contribute to her insecurity. I have tried to talk to her by asking if I have done anything and she always says she is fine (the mask)..please Miss Beth I need help! I encounter this more than I ever thought I would as a pastors wife and I don’t know what to do!!
Signed, Desperate for Answers
Hi Beth…and thank you! I am just about to finish SLI and am so thankful for the insight God has given you to help open my eyes!
I am 52, married 34 years, 4 children, 6 grandbabies…and it feels like you know me so well…
I must confess…after praying the prayer, later that morning I had my same knee jerk reaction to a trigger that gets me everytime…I was so disappointed with myself, but realize this is not going to be easy…
I now have notes all over to remind me and help to keep my thoughts where God wants them…
I know there will be many tests along the way…esp. with my husbands upcoming job, but I Know I have the Power of the Lord inside me and I am determined to make Security a reality in my life! Thank you Beth for allowing the Lord to use you so mightily!!!
SLI has been the perfect follow up to Breaking Free. Many areas changed with Breaking but I remained in bondage
through my insecurities and was blind to the havoc it had weilded in almost every aspect of my life. I was so Insecure that I did not want to be seen reading a book about it and immediately turned the cover inside out so
no one would know! After doing serious business with Father
I have started to walk through the battles of transforming one more area of my mind and my heart. Asking myself the QUESTION is making the difference….” What would a secure woman do right now?” Then I do it. Thank you Jesus, Thank you Beth for laying your heart open before us.
Beth,
I read so long insecurity at the begining of this year. A woman at my church i greatly admire suggested that i should read it after some things that we had been talking about. Her exact words were “it changed my life”, and her being the Godly woman she is, i knew i needed to read it. i’m 19 years old.. and will be getting married soon. And God has began to show me things and pull things out of me.. that were there since my childhood. I’m just amazed and humbled at how good God is to begin to do this work in me at a young age.. and how he has been preparing me for a healthy relationship in the marriage i’ll be entering. Not that it was easy, but well worth it! I know that many other woman at my church are reading this book as well, and are being changed by it. Recognizing the strongholds and the lies of the enemy, and standing on the truth. Were building a new church and fixing to move in, and we’re excited to share the truth to the new and the old.. i just wanted to tell you thanks for your obedience, discipline, and willingness to serve. I also am in the process of reading Breaking Free,i’m almost done.. and it has been the most life changing. I encouarage everyone that is reading so long insecurity to read breaking free, and if you already have go back through it with it..
but anyway,to make a long story short- thanks beth! and thank you Lord for what you’ve done in her for the generations to come
In Christ’s love
Ms. Moore; Thank you so much for your obedience in writing “So Long Insecurity…” I just completed reading it and it has blessed my spirit! As I was reading I kept thinking ‘Beth get out of my mail’ lol, each chapter spoke to where I was and where the Lord is gently leading me. I plan to read it again to get what I missed the first time through.
I am 47 years old and have lived my life hating too many things about myself and my life that I felt didn’t fit in with the world’s difintion of perfect…I didn’t have a perfect family (grew up in foster care) I didn’t have a perfect education (flunked out of college) my body is…I don’t know which fruit, apple, pear, whatever lol, I’m not a social butterfly etc..yet I felt the Lord calling me to wholeness for a while now and He wouldn’t allow me to ignore his prompting either. Through His Word, Church Body, books and TV programs he has kept the pressure on to allow him into those broken parts of my life and allow him to heal me!
He is such a loving, gentle, persistent God, I love him so very much and I thank him for using woman of God, such as yourself, to minister to my spirit and give me hope through your personal example that He is able and willing to heal if we would let him. Pray with me please as I continue on this journey to wholeness! I won’t stop until I get there…promise! God bless you my friend (you must be my friend if you’re reading my mail) lol.
Dear Beth,
I thank God for directing me to you and to many others. Many of your bible studies and books have helped me through difficult times but this one….I knew it was written to help many like me. Chapter 11 particularly hit a chord with me. After my wonderful marriage of 34 years with a very righteous man, I was left for a younger woman after a two year affair. It was emotionally cruel and hidden without any clue of what was happening until he wanted to come back. He found his way back to God and wants me back but it is extremely hard to travel this road. I thought the best way was to open the door to communication by sharing all that was done during that time period. However I ate from that tree of knowledge of good and evil and felt like I was dying because I never believed my husband could have done those things. My emotions ran wild with hurt, anger and bitterness to the point that I was willing to let him go rather than endure any more pain. God knew that this was not in my best interest but I thought I knew better. Beth I felt my dignity was taken and my insecurities came out in so many ways. I thought that I was a strong person but to hear that God only gives you what you can handle made me question why me? God sends help in so many ways. Know that what you have done, continue to do and will do in the future ministers his spirit in ways that you cannot imagine. God bless you Beth always and thank you for all that you have done to help me.
Oh, Dee. I am so sorry. I pray that God brings immeasurable healing to you and even a strange sense of purpose in the very long run. I pray that it turns back on the devil’s head. I would feel so much of what you’ve felt under those conditions. You’ve endured a terrible hurt. Oh, Jesus, dignity is YOURS to give to Dee and nobody else has the right to take it from her. Flood her with it! Restore her soul till her cup runs over.
Thank you Beth. That means so much!! Prayers are so powerful! May God always be with you in every way. May women everywhere find the strength and dignity to put all insecurities aside so they can enjoy the life God intended for them on this earth. If not to do it for themselves for the daughters and granddaughters that need this cycle to be broken.
Dee,
September 10, 2010. Almost three years ago. I am in tears after reading your account. My prayers are that you are tremendously better than you were back then. My heart goes out to you. May God’s precious mercy wash over you, cleanse you, restore you, and make you new, You are precious in His sight.
Rose
Wow! I love it when my Heavenly Father reaches down and gives me a big hug. Just have to share this with you, Mama Beth. A few hours ago I was reading the last chapter of “So Long, Insecurity” and had just chuckled over the part about “You make me feel like a nat-u-ral wo-man!” Within just a few minutes of reading this…sitting in the beauty shop being pampered with a pedicure (not because of insecurity…just for the fun of it!! ha!)…that VERY SONG came over the loudspeakers. I could have just got up and danced all over that salon. Well, except that it would have messed up my beautiful French pedicure. 😀 😀 But inside, I was DANCING!!!! It was like God just smiled at me and said: I know RIGHT where you are!!! And He does!
Thank you SO much for writing this book. It has blessed me in so many ways and ministered to my heart. I plan to read it again, and also study it with my teenage daughter. Because of Jesus, I am secure!
May you be blessed today!
I should add that I am a missionary in a non-English country, so the fact that this song was played IS truly a God-thing!!! 🙂
Dear Beth,
If this is a discussion group can I address not only you but Dee? Thank you!Thank you!Thank you! I picked up your book about a week and a-half ago and can’t put it down. It IS my morning devotional and my life jacket as well. Last February I received a phone call that informed me that my husband of 38 years had been having an affair for the past three years with a woman 10 years younger than myself and also the vice-president of a large company. The kicker was that this was the second time. The first time we went through this I was intimated into trying to deal with it by myself, this time I knew I needed help. We have been seeing a Christian counslor who has helped to bring a level of insight and objectivity into this situation we sorely needed. If I could say one thing to Dee it would be to seek “carefully” and “prayerfully” for a person of faith and training with whom she can discuss this. Everyone has to deal with this sort of thing the best way they can and the Lord only knows what kind of ride I have been on the past seven months but I am seeking His will when I have enough wits about me to do so. My husband says he truly loves me and since we have been to the therapist our past problems (since childhood mind you) have been peeled away like an onion, and might I add, just as stinky and unpleasant at times. One of the unpleasant layers involves the issue my husband has with wanting or rather “not” wanting me sexually. That was the most devasting part of this entire nightmare. He says he loves me but needs “time”. You could assume correctly that I felt totally worthless after that declaration that only came to light because he had no other choice. I realize he really hates hurting me and is, himself, a broken and insecure person. We are still trying to restore and with God’s help through people like you, and many others, we will continue on our journey. Thank you once again Beth, for sharing and caring.
D
Dear Beth,
I have been blinded in so many ways in my marriage. My insecurities seem to revolve around my man and how to make him happy. He is the very independant type and also tends to be controlling. We’ve had counselling in the past to help us to communicate better and so that my husband would realize how his anger was affecting me. He admitted that he would act more angry than he was in order to control me. I used to believe the awful things he said and felt alone and worthless. I still struggle with insecurity even though I know that God loves me and I have many great friends. My marriage can still be rough, but I don’t feel alone anymore and I know that the healing process will continue as I allow the Holy Spirit to speak God’s truth of my worth and beauty in Jesus,
Lol,
Kathy
I just finished reading “So Long Insecurity” and it was a much-needed read for me. Thank you so much for following the Lord’s call and writing it. I know that when He called you to write this book God had me in mind. He knew how much I needed it! In Chapter 9 I prayed that prayer and I bawled before the Lord for His mercy and help to overcome my MANY insecurities. And when I handed it over to Him, I immediately felt a huge weight lifted from my heart and shoulders. My God is awesome like that! As I was reading the book it was like reading my life. So many situations in my life mirror the ones you talked about and the stories other woman told. The one that really sticks out is about the little girl that so wanted her daddy’s love that every time she was around him, she just wanted to hole his hand. I bawled like a baby when I read her story because it so closely resembled my own. Sadly, the love from my father was never returned and that’s where a lot of my insecurities came from. I am by no means perfect (there are several times when my old insecurities try to rear their ugly heads) but I think “I am clothed with strength and dignity”, pray and moved on. The fears you related in Chapter 17 are exactly my fears. But I have to let go and give God control. Period. Beth, I appreciate your ministry so much and I am so thankful you listned to the Lord and wrote this book. I love that you are so open and honest. I feel like you’re a friend and it’s awesome to feel that way about someone you’ve never met. Thank you so much for caring about women the way you do.
Amber
Beth,
Ok, you know when you won’t take a book entitled, “So Long Insecurity” with you to the Dr.’s office for fear that someone might think you are insecure, that you may indeed be in need of that book! 🙂 I read your book a couple of months ago and really enjoyed it. On a light note – one of my favorite images is the story you told about Victoria’s Secret and the mints. I have felt this way for years and every time I walk by one now I just giggle inside at the thought of you being drug out by your daughters as you inquire as to what makes a mint sexy.
I did want to share something so special to me about a particular part of the book and I will do my best to be brief. About three years ago, my two month old son almost died. He got very cold and turned blue in my arms and was rushed to the hospital. Once he was stabilized and admitted to PICU, my husband had left to go care for our 3 other kids and my friends had all gone home. I needed desperately to hear a word of comfort from my precious Father, so I exhaustedly opened my Bible and it opened right to Psalm 112:7. The Lord assured me that regardless of the news, I need not fear because I could trust Him either way. Thankfully, my son did get better, but that was just the beginning of a two year crazy ride of refining fire. In a strange twist of events, post traumatic stress, exhaustion, some health issues and more began to torment me with recurrent fears that I was going to die or one of my children would, etc. I have walked with God long enough to know this. He is faithful. Period. So even though I walked through the shadow of death, literally with my son, and what I swore was emotionally in my own life, I did the only thing I knew to do. I kept coming to Jesus and His Word, rehearsing His past faithfulness and wrestling the thing out.
Anyways, fast forward to the coming out of that tunnel and God begins to deal with some intense patterns of insecurity that resulted from those two years. So you can imagine how much my jaw dropped, how joyfully my heart leapt, and how sweetly loved I felt when I got to chapter 17 and read, not only of some similar struggles of yours, but also the confirmation of what God had taught me – He would be there! And I am sure you can imagine how my heart simply went through the roof when i got to page 330 and saw Psalm 112:7-8 printed there. In that moment, it was an anchor for me, dug a little deeper (and friend, that anchor holds!). I remembered that the God who told me I didn’t have to be afraid in that hospital room was the same one telling me I didn’t have to be afraid of whatever may come in the days ahead.
So, thank you. Thank you for writing and sharing and loving and lifting high that Precious Name that is above every Name. He’s a delight to love, isn’t He?
I just LOVE reading all the comments….they are almost as rewarding as reading the book, and believe me, I read and RE read that all the time…especially chapter 11. What really hits home with me, is that ALL of us women are hurting and broken and chipped in our own ways….we have endured paths that have caused us to weep and bleed and cry out and hurt and anguish..It is such a COMFORT to know how much the Lord loves us just where we are. Your book helps so much to point to that truth. Personally, for me the MOST comfort comes from knowing He will pick me up time after time after time, when I fall back into the temptation to dwell on things of the past, memories and hurts….He picks us up again and again and starts afresh with us. This gives me HOPE anew for each day!!!! Praise the Lord for this book!!!! What a SAVIOR and FRIEND is our Lord!!!
I just finished reading the 3d chapter of your book. The last two paragraphs were such a precious new way of looking at “Greater is He that is in you than He that is in the world. I sensed myself feeling, “Yes, Truly, Greater is HE that is in me than those wrong ways of thinking, reacting, etc. that are in me at times too. From Glory to Glory, More like Christ, I am His Living sacrifice. I’m 47 and inside I’ve failed so often at this stronghold, I actually thought it might be easier to die than face it again ( not suicidal, just disheartened) Thanks for Words I know came from our Living Hope, Christ Himself. God bless you, Beth, for tackling this Culturally chronic malady.
In Christ’s love
Carole L. Haines
For some reason, I thought I could just check this book out from the library….well, I had it ordered online by the time I got to chapter 3!! And, read the library copy until mine came! I am now re-reading – and marking within an inch of its life – my own copy.
For the two ladies who are seeking God’s healing for their hearts shattered by adultery: your story is mine. The pain is excrutiating! Over the last few weeks, YHWH has dovetailed His truth into me through several sources. Beth’s study on the Psalms of Ascent taught me that He is my Keeper, healer, and the one who takes me step by step down the path of my journey. I also bought a book about Post Infidelity Stress Disorder that has been helpful in many ways(though it is not truly Biblical, so you must be discerning). It has helped me see how my insecurity contributed to the problems in the marriage (not that he had one iota of justification for his sin). Then, SLI gave me the tools and illumination to actually DEAL with this stronghold spiritually. Additionally, I was encouraged by Beth’s writing on the blog about her own marriage. It was a further example of letting him be him and letting God work.
Just this morning, I had an argument with my husband. I said some hard things, some pain came out, he didn’t like it…. and I also heard some hard things from him. In the past, I would have dissolved when he got upset; I would have backtracked and apologized and feared “rocking the boat”. I would have obsessed over it, felt sick over it. Today, I felt in control, could sense the Lord’s presence, and felt confident in what I said and felt. What victory! I even went on my way to work and had a pretty good day 🙂 I cannot tell you how huge of a difference this is for me. He has shown me that my “one thing” is wanting my husband’s love and desire. Now, I do believe that a wife should have that in a healthy marriage, but it CANNOT be my source of security….nor can the lack of it be the source of my insecurity. This issue is one big root of the marriage problems. I fervently pray that our marriage will be healed into a “success story”, but either way I have to be able to stand on my own, complete as the woman my YHWH made me to be.
Beth, I love you! I did “A Woman’s Heart” in 1997 with a toddler in the pew with me while I furiously took notes. I’ve done and led many, many studies over the years – and each one has spoken His truth into my life and changed me. I quote you all the time. I know that you are humbled that God uses you; I know that you are simply trying to share where He leads and that you walk the path yourself. Please know, though, that when my husband told me about the affair and my life fell apart (I can tell you that I literally heard and felt the destruction deep in my soul) the ONLY THING that kept me breathing was the LORD…..and He used your words, those many years of studying His word with you, the countless “nuggets” of Truth from your pen and lips to help me stand and begin to walk. I went face-to-the-floor in prayer because you said that’s what you did. I poured out my heart to Him because you said that’s what you did. I carried scripture in my pocket until it shredded from the pulling in and out because you said that’s what you did. I prayed His word because you said that’s what you did. I haven’t even done “Believing God”, but I held up my hand and repeated those 5 statements because that’s what you did. I knew that if it worked for you, it would work for me because our God is faithful and true. I wouldn’t have had those ideas on my own. I know God would have cared for me and shown me the way….but He had prepared me with tools that you shared and I knew to put them to use. Thank you ever so much. Know that I pray for you with great love.
beth, thanks so much for the book. i just finished it and i feel so NOT alone now. So long insecurity has made me realize i am okay even with all my scars and warts. I am going thru a rough patch and needed a boost. I have been married 28 years and it is over. we just don’t have anything in common anymore. i felt worthless and ugly because of all the things he never said. we are room mates right now and i will probably move out in january. We have tried to work it out but he blames everything on me which only perpetuates my insecurity. every day i say “I am lovely, God loves me and no one can take that away from me” wow it helps. thanks so much..Meloni
Hey!
I am currently going through the “So Long, Insecurity” book with my spiritual mentor. For some reason lately, God really put it heavily on my heart that I needed to get rid of my Facebook account. As I got to thinking about the pros and cons to it, I realized there were more pros to actually getting rid of it than keeping it. In fact, the cons list all added up to ONE thing: INSECURITY! So I deleted my Facebook from my life. I informed my friends (those who I felt would want to contact me) that I would be getting rid of it and how they could contact me. The night that I deactivated it, I read chapter 6 about “A Cocktail of Ego and Culture” and it REALLY convicted me! In this chapter, one line that really got me was on page 91: “We’re so accustomed to it [media exploitation] now that we’re growing oblivious to the toll it’s taking on us…it’s our NEW NORMAL.” How true is that! I had put Facebook on my bookmark toolbar and every time I opened my internet, I clicked on that Facebook tab. It became such a habit that when I deleted it, I still looked for it every time I opened the internet. God has directed me to righteousness by convicting me in this area of my life. I realize now, going through the withdrawal symptoms, that I was ADDICTED! But with God’s help, I’ll get through and I have NO PLANS of going back to that even if I do reactivate it in the future. As a single college student, I don’t need those insecurities invading my life. All I need is God and through Him, I can do all things! Even if it does seem like a small step!
Hi Beth,
I am not even sure if you will receive this or not, but I thought I would try. A group of ladies from our church are studying the so long insecurity book. I have been reading your blog as I prepare for discussion and have been able to utilize your questions. What a blessing to have this resource on such a personal topic. I have noticed on your website that two videos have come out to download regarding this subject. I just have not been able to find any information on it to see if and when this would be appropriate to show to the group. A brief description of sorts. We are finishing up chapter 9 this week.
Blessing to you. I appreciate YOU so much.
Heidi Ganz
Are there cd’s or dvd’s available for purchase on the simulcast you did on So Long Insecurity? If so where do I purchase them?
Thanks, Pat
Yes there are, Pat. Visit our online store for SLI Simulcast downloads: http://www.lproof.org
Beth,
Just finished “So Long Insecurity”. The prayer for husbands I pray for my son-in-law and instead of “women” I pray my daughter’s name. Praise the LORD! They have returned to church after more than five years’ absence.
I posted that I had read your book on my Facebook page and my daughter’s Mother-in-Law is going to read it next. Just saw you on James Robison’s program. Lord willing someday you will come to Southwest Kansas (or Wichita) and I will meet you in person. Praying for you!
Hi Beth!
I’m a 42 year old teacher from South Africa… I think there has to be “special” classes for ALL girls concerning the big I-word so that they can be prepared for what’s coming their way! Thank you so much for listening to God and writing this book – you have touched so many women all over the world. May you and your family be blessed in your ministry.
Love, Rita
I seem to be a day late and a dollar short on some of these things with my life schedule. I loved to go into the reading and blogging on the book. It may of made me get to reading it sooner. I got it last year and have yet to read it. I bought it after seeing another woman with it. TY for those that have replied it has encouraged me to read it asap. I have a laundry list of insecurities due to past relationships and general feelings of inadequacy. Thank You Siestas. I really have to come to this site more often to get refreshed by others that have been down the same road or similar. I am also looking forward to the scripture memory program we are doing. I soo need that too
Dear Beth,
Thanks so much for your honesty.My sister and i do this thing where we get a book and read a few chapter a week and dicuss it well we both wanted to read this one ,man was it ever so good,what we both needed,and i just finished the book last night.Also the book even went along the same lines as when i was going to a sexual abuse survivor group meeting each week,its amazing what God will use in your life to make some changes.The changes aren’t easy,as i have also struggled with mental health issues for a long time,Depression and anxiety,i kinda had a mental breakdown when i learned that my husband got a girl pregnant it was such a devestating blow that i did a lot of ‘crazy’ things and thats putting it mildly,i begged him to even come back home,that i’d forgiven him but in all truth i was just feeling threatened and wanted my man back.But in turth the relationship was very damaging as well as he also struggled with alcoholism,it is good that we are seperated as he still is an active drinker and it has now beena whole year and a half.I had such insecurities through out our relationship it wasn’t funny,due to many issues i have had.But i am really thankful that this book came along when it did.I have laughed and cried throughout and i think the changes started happening when i read that prayer in chpter 9,i also was touched when i read chptr17 which dug into what i struggle with predominantly “Fear”,So Beth,Thank you thank you thank you,and thank you Jesus,that your setting me free!!
Dear Beth
Name this one:
“I don’t know whether Beth Moore will get to read this letter (quietly, I hope that she will). Who knows (but there are ‘millions’ she will have to fish through to find me…) she might. I hope she does because she would laugh reading my letter… she would think I am smart enough to catch on to her book so much so that I too can make her laugh as well because maybe I am as good as her.”
“Hang my head over the toilet” is that one… what is it about acknowledgement?!? Well, that’s one of mine… enough to drive me to actually write this letter to you. Deep down, I hope you do get to read it not to satisfy my sinful nature’s hunger but that you get to have a laugh even if it’s just for a few seconds of the day that you read this letter.
Why? Because you have made me laugh so much with your book – So Long, Insecurity. [I can’t believe I am actually writing to you… something I have never done before because… “I won’t count, it won’t get there, blah blah blah” – another one, eh? I read a book and I think to myself, I should write and thank the author for allowing herself or himself to be His light and salt because it has touched and blessed me beyond understanding. But the beast which some of us know so well wears its ugly two-heads. Enough of that one.]
BUT it’s Christmas Day. I have been separated now for exactly a year and dear dear Jesus has blessed me with so much of His wisdom about me, my life and how I got to where I am. With 3 in tow, I am about to embark on a new life (a gift from our Lord) interstate and I am looking forward to it. Things are on the up because He was carrying me. However, books I picked up were getting a tad sombre (although good for me). When I picked up yours from our local Koorong bookstore, I was umming between yours and another (get-the-whip-out) one. Knowing that I need both humourous as well as whip-cracking guidance in my life (and really not knowing what to expect from yours), I got both after much deliberation.
Divine intervention was what it was. Although I was about to break my budget further during this Christmas season, I did not want to let go of your book at the store (for reasons beyond our understanding). No one has contributed so much to my Christmas Day (besides my King Himself… it really is His day).
Back to the laughing… don’t get me wrong and I hope it never entered your mind that I was laughing at you, but I really got ya… I hope as much as Lisa Jackson. It’s scary (which is why I am hysterical with laughter) but I get ya… or you got me! I thought good one, Beth, and look at you, God my Father! I can-not shy away or hide (and I don’t want to) – no more running but to face it, admit it, embrace it and let Him change it – liberating and freeing! Thank You, Thank You, Thank You both.
As you say, the journey does not end at the end of the book… and I will find that security in not having to tell you how mine ends but in knowing that we crossed path at Christmas 2010 and now, we will walk almost parallel and definitely not straight, with the same One because He IS the faithful One. We are blessed in that in seeking Him, we will all have more and more of those moments of security that reassures us of a life fulfilled with dreams of a better us because we are able to say it’s ok even if we are not… better. It is such a blessing to know that we are not alone in this no matter how we may ‘make’ each other feel and with that, we are able to be more like Jesus.
I wish you and your family a Wonderful Christmas with many miracle moments of thankfulness and may the New Year bring strengthened faith and hope for your loved ones!
Cheers from Down Under!
Jen
Hey, Jen! Yes, I really do read these. I don’t get to reply to nearly as many as I read but I am very active in this community. I really love it. I am so glad God used the book in your life! Boy, did He get to me with that one. Even this afternoon Melissa told me that she has seen the ongoing fruit of that work in my life. JESUS ALONE. He is merciful and gracious beyond comprehension. We’re glad you’re on here with us! Stick around and memorize some Scripture with us.
Hi Beth! Thank you so much for your reply and your invitation. I will visit much more often. Don’t you love it when your kids do the affirmations… yes, He IS and will always look out for us, even through our children. Take care and thanks again!
Jen
I recently got the book. I’ve wanted it since it came out, but I’m such a procrastinator. However, I am nearly finished reading it. I must say that I am surprised by my reaction to it. I did not think I had an issue with security. However, I now realize insecurity is a big problem in my life. I do have a lot of self-confidence and am secure in many areas of my life, but there are some areas in which insecurity is the only thing present. I think I have often had a sense of false security, which may be worse than realizing you just possess some insecurity. I have not made a final decision on that just yet, however. I’ve had several occasions in which I have been forced to put the book down because I just almost could not take it. It’s not the book that has bothered me. It is me that is bothering me. I feel insecurity is something that has nearly destroyed my life. I watched the video posted for one of the weeks, and it said something about an individual feeling raw at the end of the book. I’m not finished with it yet, but I feel that way, and I do not mean that in a bad way at all. I feel convicted for some things, and honestly, I hope and pray to God that I can fix this insecurity I possess before it completely destroys me. This is actually somewhat of a depressing message now that I think about it, but I do not intend for it to be that way. I’ve needed something to open my eyes, and thankfully, this book is doing it. Yes, it is very painful for me, but that’s fine with me. I’d rather it be painful than keep living this way. In the end, living with insecurity is harder and way more painful than confronting it, working through it, and having a defense system put in place for it.
Praise the Lord that He’s speaking to you through SLI, dear one. He loves you so!
I finished this book recently. I especially liked the working prayer. I have notes everywhere. And I repeat ” I trust you Lord…..period”. This week I felt like my personality, which is obviously different than my husbnad’s, was slightly unappreciated. I just hate when I feel like I have to defend my differences. That is when I pray to remember I was made by a loving, living God whom I can trust doesn’t make slop.
Beth, I just received your book So Long, Insecurity, for a Chriatmas present. I’ve only read the first chapter, but am excited to hear what God has to teach me through it’s pages!
I received SLI for Christmas from one of my kids. They know their mom better than I thought. I have had some time the last couple days to start reading it. Obviously it is already having a huge impact and I spent the last hour or so working through Chapter 9. The walls fell down and the tears, pain, frustration, secrets,and losses came pouring out of my heart and my gracious, forgiving Heavenly Father showed me that I am loved, I have strength and I have dignity. I could not stop praying, laying it all before His feet and asking Him to remove the insecurity I have allowed to control my life and replace it with His security in knowing I am who I am because He made me that way. I am a child of the King- Loved- forgiven- worth enough to Him that He sacrificed His Son for me. I know that the process to change my mind and heart on this will be a struggle but it is no longer my struggle it is a stronghold that Christ and I are working on together. Praise His precious Holy name. I love you so much Jesus. Thank you Beth for sharing your story so I could give mine to Jesus- the great physician.
Thank you for sharing, Jane. May you have a blessed and free-from-insecurity 2011!! Praise the Lord.
i’m generally bouncing on the net nearly all of the night thus I tend to browse a whole lot, which isn’t typically a good factor as a large amount of the websites I look at are constructed of worthless waste copied from other websites a thousand times, on the other hand I have to give you credit this website is actually decent and also possesses some genuine content, therefore cheers for splitting the trend of only duplicating other people’s blogs and forums 🙂
I received SLI in april of 2010 as a result of a friend asking God what I needed for my birthday. I didn’t open it until 11/10 and began reading it on vacation. I prayed the prayer in chapter 9 for 45 days and the Lord has made huge changes in my sense of security and who I am and just in time for my mother (tough relationship) to be dx with stage 4 lung cancer with lymph mets. The emotions God guided me through while reading your book have turned into a healing balm that is now what helps me make it through each day as I listen to her struggle with this dx. I truly can’t thank you enough for this book and am unable to put in words how it has helped prepare me for this next chapter in my life. I pray that God will speak to your heart and let you know how much you are appreciated. Thank You, Lea
At any insecure moment I have had the last couple monthes, I have repeated the “She is clothed with stregnth and dignity” verse. I have found it calming to remind myself of this and to find reassurance in the fact that my security is in Christ completely, not of things or people of this world.
There is just so much to say. Being long winded by nature I’ll attempt to keep it short.
I thank God for you Beth and your “conspirators.”
I have come so much closer to our Father through your Bible studies. And to think that walk just gets better!!!
My growing relationship with Him is so fullfilling, but something was (and in many ways still is) missing.
I didn’t know. I mean I guess I did, but I was limiting His healing to the world at large or my daughter’s fractured foot. I never thought about his healing of me. Of My brokeness. I always passed it off as a childhood ailment like mumps. Everybody has it so get over it and go on. I knew that there was life above it. Some unattainable height that came I don’t know when, perhaps when I meet Him in the clouds. lol. Not here, not now. I wept, laughed, and came to the end of your book with a knowledge that I will be healed of this. Slowely, because I am that sort of girl that NEEDS the Burning Bush most of the time.
Thank You for going there Beth
Angie
Good morning Ms. Beth, I probabaly am doing this all wrong, but I wanted to share something with you. Growing up, I felt like I was ugly (never had boyfriends) and stupid (I struggled in school). When I came to know Christ as my Lord and Savior, things started changing for me. One of the pastors @ the church, John S. would get on me when I would say something like I am stupid. He and others would say that I am made in Christ’s image and he is not stupid. After a long while, that began to sink in. At 41 years old, I have just started college (never been). It is a little tough with being a single mom of 2 teen boys, working full time and then some but I have to totally rely upon God. Trust me – I have learned how to discern Gods voice – that this is His ideal – certainly not mine. I had been dating this guy for the last 4 years. Good man, loves his kids (calls them every night) and they live half way across the country, great relationship with his mom & would do anything for anyone. Well about 8 months ago, I found out that he was seeing someone else (someone that I was getting to know) at church. I was deeply hurt. I forgave both of them. I then started praying about how to handle the girl – because I had basically just shrugged my shoulders and life went on as usual with my boyfriend. I did listen to a CD called no bitter root done by one of the other pastors at the church. (Honestly, I had to listen to it about 20 times). I felt sorry for this other girl – because she is a single mom of 4 boys (her husband left her for another woman about 2 years ago), she had been molested by step fathers & uncles in her life when she was young. Taken advantage of sexually by a pastor in another church. We became increadibly close – closer than sisters. we could call each other everyday, text 4 or 5 times a day, work out together, tell each other we loved each other. I spent Christmas eve with her and her kids (my kids at their dads house) I helped her put a train table together that night (took 4 hours), the next day – the 25th, I shared with her mom & stepdad, her brother, his wife and their kids. I had never in my life felt this close to another woman, she said the same thing to me. But I also felt my relationship with the Lord seperating. I wasn’t praying like I should & if I did, it was only mechanical, stopped doing my SS lessons, daily devotions, tithing and going to church on Sun. nights & Wed. She had quit coming to church all together for about 2 months. It had been about a month ago and I was sitting there in service Sun morning and the Lord spoke to me and said that this was not a relationship I needed to have. Well about a week after that I found out that she and my boyfriend had started back up their relationship again – about 3 months ago. Wow, I was devistated. I forgave them because when Christ died on the cross for my sins – that was enough. I have since gotten her out of my life completely. Him – come to find out, after a long e-mail she sent me about how he lied, asked her to lie, manipulated her, etc…. that this was like a “monkey on his back”, like a drinking or pornongrahy problem. I am not – I mean NOT back with him, but am supporting him with another couple in the church. He does now have a male spiritual mentor in the church. But anyway, my point is wow, the insecurities this has brought out in me. I have never in my life been this insecure. I would be thinking to myself “why are you acting like this and who are you????” I am on Chapter 15 of your book and it has started to change my “stinking way of thinking”. I am also reading the book by Josh Harris’ called Saying goodbye to Dating. Very good book. One of my classes at college is English Comp I. The teacher said to pick any book to read (for the younger kids in the class – no Twilight or Harlequin Romance, ect…)I would like to pick your book and share it with the class because all women – well at least the ones I know struggle with insecurity. I did my SS lesson last night. The title was “Sick Of Greed?” It talks about with the Lord’s help, we can reject selfish impulses that find expression in self-justifying thoughts and deceitful actions. The Lord had alot to say to me in this one. Have a super blessed day…. Angela
This is my first time on the blog, as I just finished SLI two days ago.
I had heard of the book some time back, but I wasn’t ready to dig up the mess inside. However, after a total break down over my husband standing up in a wedding and having to dance with another girl, I knew I couldn’t leave this festering inside any longer. I felt so pathetic – which is coming from a girl who from the outside is covered in confidence and good self-esteem.
My personality is one that requires me to get to the point that I decide, “You can’t have the best of me – you can’t ruin me!!” (or beat me at this, etc.) to do something. God got a hold of me and used this book in a very powerful way.
Thank you, Beth, for writing this book!
I can wake up now and instead of letting my circumstances, my husband, etc. determine my security, I know I am secure because my security comes from God alone – the only one I can trust always and with everything!! 🙂 It is like a million bricks were lifted off of my heart, mind, and shoulders!!!
Hi Beth,
I absolutely love your book and truly believe that millions of women have insecurity issues due to unrealistic expectations of the media. Women and men need to complain to companies about how women are portrayed in the media and email corporate executives about the negative impact it has on millions of women and young girls in the U.S.
In regards to the Victoria Secrets fashion in 2002, the FCC Commissioner Michael Copps renewed his calling for stricter indecency standards on broadcast TV, after receiving only 300 complaints about the broadcast. I encourage all women who are tired of being portrayed as sex objects in the media to email Michael Copps at http://www.fcc.gov/commissioners/copps/mail.html. Let’s make a difference and start changing the way the culture views women.
I found this book completely by God’s own hand. I was waltzing into church the week before Spring Break and needed a good read….but our church library has not been opened in years. You know God and how He works! One of the ladies in church felt that she needed to start opening the library before Sunday School. Well….she had a brand new bag of books that I could look at since I just could not find what I was hungry for, and alas, this book was in the pile. I grabbed it like it was my last meal! (I know I have a security problem, duh) I wagged the book through four states and read and reread pages many times while trying to allow the words to work in my heart and CONVINCE my stubborn mind that I must turn from the old habits of insecurity and grip the new ways of Christ’s security. This book is full of powerful and precious insights that I plan to adopt as my new way of thinking….clothed with strength and dignity.
Hey Beth,
I’m on chapter 8 in your book and I can’t even begin to tell you all that I’ve learned about insecurity…I wouldn’t know where to start! So I feel like I really get things when I watch skits/videos or hear stories from other people. Maybe it’s the comforting part, but I’ve never been a part of a blog before. I’d like to read and share stories and just be a part of all this. Plus I think it’s a lot easier to be transparent on the internet with people I’ve never met! I guess the fact that they’re being transparent helps too. But where do I start?? Which week would I go to for chapter 8? Or would you suggest I start at the beginning?