Impossibly, Nearly Unforgivably Random. And I’m sorry in advance.

Have you ever wanted to blog so badly because you love your blog community so much you can hardly stand it but your mind is as fried as a Louisiana catfish? Well, that’s me today. My heart is huge with affection for you right now but my brain has shrunk under the weight of my bleached blond hair and my tired tongue is tied in about ten thousand tiny knots. I had the great privilege of serving in Sioux Falls, South Dakota this weekend and used up about 500,000 words and, incidentally, got to have my picture taken with about 40 of you darling things the moment it was over. I’ve spent today researching the next lesson I’m writing for Children of the Day and serving my beloved staff at our devotional and prayer time. (We usually have it on Mondays but I got to have a day off with my handsome man yesterday.) And so, here I sit, wanting so much to say something meaningful to you and to say it well and yet girlfriend is tragically bereft of words.

Therefore, instead of staying quiet when I’m bereft of words which is the better part of wisdom, I’ll do what any good, fast-talking sanguine would do: I will just say stuff that comes to my mind. So here goes for what may be the single most pathetic post of my blogging life. And all because I love you and don’t want you to feel forgotten around here. So, actually, you’ll need to take some responsibility for the anti-profundity that is about to blow up all over you like your four year-old with a stomach bug after a big plate of spaghetti and meatballs.

Random stuff going through my head – or through my life – or anywhere in the vicinity of 100 noticeable miles from me that I have energy enough to say. I’ll go for 20 of them:

1. The main thing I love to get at a fried chicken drive-thru like Church’s is okra. I love fried okra like nobody’s business. No matter what size container of it Keith brings home, I eat it. And I am never glad I did. No, I don’t usually eat that way. I only eat that way if Keith makes me eat that way by bringing it home and setting it under my generous nose. And I like a lot of salt on it. I’m sorry this was first but we’ve fasted all day here at the ministry and I am starving. Well. Not really starving but a tad hungry.


2. I wish I did not use the word “tad” so much.


3. I wish I did not use the word “so” so much.


4. 80% of my travel so far this 2013 has involved drama. Delays. Cancelled flights. You name it. No, I’m not superstitious or anything but my luggage is and it will be happy when it’s 2014.


5. I love serving at Living Proof Live as much as ever and, in some ways, maybe more. I’m not sure what’s up. Well, Jesus is up.


6. My beloved “Miss America of Hair” is out for 3 months with the cutest new baby girl you have just about ever seen. And I could use a strong antidepressant and maybe even a nerve pill. I have told MAOH (Miss America of Hair but it is unfortunate that I had to tell you that) that I am particularly gifted at rocking babies and have no doubt that I could do it even while she is cutting and blow drying my hair.


7. I hate that I’m so selfish.


8. I hate even worse that my hair looks like it has been teased with egg beaters then baked to utter unbreakability.


9. Travis has written a new theme song for Living Proof Live and it is just fantastic. I love it so much. There I go again with a “so.” So, so, so. It’s always so. I’m never underwhelmed. It’s always overwhelmed for me. At some point he’ll record it. I’m talking about Travis now. Please stay with me. I hope it’s while we’re still actually doing the event but we’ll see. He does not seem to be in a hurry. If the song turns into a video, I’ll go ahead and bless you by doing an interpretive dance.


10. Keith has new really cool, chunky black glasses that Melissa gave him for Father’s Day and he is so handsome in them. I’ve been working with him on how to wear them because Keith has never made “cool” a big priority. I know. I can’t understand it either. But, that fact is, in order to pull off this new look, I’ve told him over and over that he’s got to own it. He’s getting better at it. And every time he practices it with me, we get tickled to no end.


11. Jackson and Annabeth are at the best ages ever. 7 and 4. I’m bonkers over them. Of late, Annabeth has been swiping her mother’s cell phone and taping videos of herself. They are so funny that Melissa and I push play over and over and over again and laugh as hard the 15th time as the first. Annabeth sings really loud on them and mostly in an unknown language. It’s like once she hits record, she knows she needs to sing but cannot for the life of her think of any words. Like me and today’s post.


12. Tomorrow (August 7th) my mom has been with the Lord for 15 years. I cannot fathom it. She was the axle on which my entire family of origin wheeled. We miss her so much and we are still in the process of sewing our family back together. We all love each other very much but we don’t really know what to do without her. She said jump. We said how high? It’s like we haven’t jumped in 15 years. The spring went right out of our family step. Sorry. That one came out of nowhere. And now I’ve got a lump in my throat which is going to force me to have to say something unfathomably stupid for #13 so I can pull out of it.


13. Queen Esther is going to the beauty shop tomorrow for a trim. Please do not tell me that you do not know that Queen Esther is my 5 year old Border Collie who goes by “Star” for short. I cannot take it. Not after what you put me through with #12.


14. After untold years of unwavering devotion, I have recently switched from Starbuck’s Breakfast Blend in my coffee maker at home to Gevalia Traditional Roast. I still love Starbuck’s Breakfast Blend but it was out of stock recently at Kroger and Keith grabbed us some Gevalia and, honestly, it almost makes me high. Oh, not really. Calm down. But it does make me really anxious and really nervous but in kind of an exhilarating way. I think it may have more caffeine. And goodness knows, all I need is more caffeine.


15. I struggle with insomnia.


(So tickled. It’s deplorably bad manners to admit to, on occasion, making your own self laugh. I wouldn’t do it if this were a better post. But it’s not.)


16. Pause. Pause. Thinking. Thinking. Oh! Here’s a good one! Keith had to put a rabid raccoon out of its misery 2 weeks ago. I was just glad he didn’t take it to the taxidermist.


17. Getting desperate now. And hungrier. Hmmmm. I left my phone charger in the hotel room in Sioux Falls. That’s not a very good one. Let me see if I can think of a better one. Ok. I mostly just use my spray tanner on my arms. My legs that used to be golden brown by sun and then by spray are now a very odd shade of corpse white.


18. Kind of a fun new study experience (translation: not in-depth like COTD but much more than just a listening guide) has just come out called “Sacred Secrets.” We hadn’t intended to do it but had so much fun with it at an LPL event that it turned into something. I took a couple of weeks off from writing COTD to develop it with my editor. I’ll tell you about it when I’m in a more coherent mood. Now’s not the time. It’s not that I’m not in the mood to tell a secret. It’s that I can’t be trusted with anything sacred in this frame of mind.


19. I’m so dang glad it’s August because we can’t get it over-with in Houston until it gets here. Understand what I’m saying? It has to come to go. A lot of things are like that. We dread it all year long around these parts. I now take the dogs for a romp in the country at 7:00 PM so the temperature can drop below 100 degrees. I’m embarrassed at what a terrible point that one was. I know we’ll both be relieved for me to finally get to the next one and put us all out of our misery.


20. The last of my staff just texted me and said, “We are heading out!” So, I better get my tail out of here pretty soon, too, before there’s a creepster in the parking lot. Anyway, I’m hungry.


And I want fried okra.


I apologize, y’all. It’s been humiliating, hasn’t it? Can it just be the thought that counted today? I love you guys like crazy. Stay tight with Jesus. He’s everything. I’ll talk to you soon and it will be like I’m a different person. Only, underneath my skin, this is pretty much me. And THAT’S why we can each be thankful we have Jesus. Or we’d just be plain-old-us.









422 Responses to “Impossibly, Nearly Unforgivably Random. And I’m sorry in advance.”

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  1. 301
    Linelle says:

    I am rolling on the floor laughing, best post ever. Love it, love you. xxx (Cape Town, South Africa)

  2. 302
    Joy says:

    Soooo much fun! Way more than just a tad ๐Ÿ™‚ if you lived nearby I’d sooo be inviting you over for coffee…Gevalia of course ๐Ÿ™‚
    Blessings over your next 20 random something thoughts ๐Ÿ™‚
    Know you are loved….even if you are a teased-hair, half-tanned, okra-loving insomniac…I still see Jesus in you and that’s what really matters!
    Hugs and love,

  3. 303
    Jan todd says:

    I am sure you’ll be quite mortified to learn that this post was my very first of yours to read! I will say that I loved, loved, loved it and appreciate the reassurance that Beth Moore, goddess of God’s Word, is utterly and magnificently normal!

    • 303.1
      Sarah Hiser says:

      Jan!! How funny is this! I cannot believe I just saw your comment on Mrs. Moore’s blog. I read her posts all the time and obviously mom and I are in love with her studies. Hope you all enjoyed your girl’s weekend. Love how small the world can be ๐Ÿ™‚

      Mrs. Moore, loved the post and outside of okra the best southern food has GOT to be good collard greens! Cannot wait to see how the Lord blesses all the Siestas and sisters in Christ in the lpm blog community this coming fall!

  4. 304
    Linda says:

    Thank you for being you! It gives me permission to be me. This is my first time on your blog. And I am thoroughly blessed by your transparency and love!

  5. 305
    Melissa Ford says:

    Loved this post. You sound tired and full of good memories. A great combination for a power nap filled with sweet dreams.
    I will pray for you to sleep soundly, especially when your weekend events are happening.

    Hope you have time to watch a great movie with Keith this weekend.

    ~ Melissa

  6. 306
    Kim Jacobson says:

    I loved your blog and got a lump in my throat too when you talked about your mom. I was in Souix Falls with a friend who it was her first Event (my 7th. We sang, Laughed and cried together. I am not sure there was a dry eye when that lady talked about losing her husband and the seed.
    Here was the way God showed up HUGE; My sister and I were in a funk for about two years, just not connected like we used to be. We live 4 hours apart and when I got seated I looked down in the crowd and there she was, I called out for her and her group sat with us and we went out to eat. Whatever rift between us seemed unimportant and we shared one of our favorite things to do together, have us a little dose of Beth Moore ๐Ÿ™‚ God is so good. It was the spiritual and relationship reset I needed.

  7. 307
    Kim Jacobson says:

    I loved your blog and got a lump in my throat too when you talked about your mom. I was in Souix Falls with a friend who it was her first Event (my 7th. We sang, Laughed and cried together. I am not sure there was a dry eye when that lady talked about losing her husband and the seed.
    Here was the way God showed up HUGE; My sister and I were in a funk for about two years, just not connected like we used to be. We live 4 hours apart and when I got seated I looked down in the crowd and there she was, I called out for her and her group sat with us and we went out to eat. Whatever rift between us seemed unimportant and we shared one of our favorite things to do together, have us a little dose of Beth Moore ๐Ÿ™‚ God is so good. It was the spiritual and relationship reset I needed.

  8. 308
    Irene Talaasen says:

    Dear Beth,
    Thank you for being you!! and Loving us and Loving Jesus. Trusting Him today in a very difficult time and thankful to Praise Him with you!

  9. 309
    Kim says:

    With all the seriousness and gravity around, I truly appreciate your lighthearted, fun, smiling post. It was sweet.

  10. 310
    Sandy Hartley says:

    I am just trying to picture a Border collie with a “trim” ๐Ÿ™‚ as we live in Oregon and our “Gem” has not ever needed one (except on a rare occasion to get a dreadlock strand out of her tail! ๐Ÿ™‚ he he Thank you for the humor and smiles along with your zest for life and God! We are in the midst of moving, and then evacuated due to fires 12 days ago, and my sweet hubby of 18 years has been workin across the state for almost 4 weeks now while we (two boys ages 5 & 9, border collie, 2 kitties, pony, goat, 9 ducks, 2 chickens, 3 geese and myself!!) wait to join him, so I have enjoyed the randomness of this post immensely. God is SO good!! Keep on “waiting on the LORD” because every day is a surprise as well as a gift. Now to finish packing!! Hugs to all my dear sisters, Sandy

  11. 311
    KaRetha says:

    Absolutely loved this post. Can’t wait til August 23! See you in Bossier.

  12. 312
    christina says:

    Smiles. Great to hear from you and peek inside that beloved bleached-blond head. Praying the Lord will give you and me both sound, restful sleep tonight, sister!

  13. 313
    Kelley says:

    Beth,I love when you write posts like this!

  14. 314
    Anne says:


    I love reading your blogs when you’re in this kind of mood.

    You should indulge yourself more often.


  15. 315
    Joy French says:

    Laughter is a GREAT thing:) Thanks!

  16. 316
    Amy Nehlsen says:

    Dear Beth,
    You have accompanied me and mentored me since 2005 in God’s Word and today reading this blog I felt like I was just sitting down having coffee with you and I loved it!!
    Thanks for all the ways you have spoken into my life, dear gal!
    love you to pieces!!

  17. 317
    Karen says:

    Joshua 1:8 NLT
    Study the book of instruction. Continuously meditate on it day and night so you will be sure to obey everything written in it. Only then will you succeed in everything you do.

    Loris SC

  18. 318
    Vickie says:

    So thankful for this hilarious post!!! We Siestas and You, all need a good belly laugh, dose of reality and lots of Jesus all mixed together….to keep us together. Whew, thanks again. ๐Ÿ™‚

  19. 319
    Janet says:

    We have a serious surgery in our immediate family tomorrow so I am grateful for this post. Loved it. Thanks Beth for sharing and for your love. I wanted to let you know that I was blessed by your words.

    So happy to see you will be coming to Hershey, PA next year! I have emailed a few friends asking if they want to go. I’m in ๐Ÿ™‚

    Have a beautiful day!!

  20. 320
    Denise Fair says:

    Beth~Thank you so much for practicing what you preach and being very authentic! Much love and many prayers over you, dear sister!

  21. 321
    Sandy Sayers says:

    Cutest post, made me smile all the way through.

  22. 322
    Tess A. says:

    So glad to hear/see that I am not the only woman who has those days where I don’t make much sense, but can still have the sense enough to laugh at myself for it. Love you Beth! ~Just finished “To live as Christ” with the ladies at my church…an oldie but a goodie. Great truth…with some great outfits from the archives of the 90’s ๐Ÿ™‚ ๐Ÿ™‚ ~

  23. 323
    Susan S. says:

    Beth, I love you. Even when (maybe especially when) you’re all over the place.

  24. 324
    Jean says:

    Laughed my head off!!! Thanks for the post, I have already enjoyed it and shared it with our Bible Study group. We love you and pray for your ministry!

  25. 325
    Nicole says:

    Haven’t commented in a while, but Siesta Mama… YOU CRACK ME UP! Thanks for the laugh! ๐Ÿ™‚

  26. 326
    Connie says:

    It is wonderfully refreshing to hear how human and just like anyone else you are. This way we know what is you and what is Jesus and we can love each of you for exactly who you are.

  27. 327
    Deborah Mott says:

    Thank you. Your authenticity and spontaneity is a refreshing blast of joy on a hot summer day! Your joy and your sorrow shows your humanity and your humility. Thank you so much for the gift of you. You are precious IN CHRIST! and live from the confidence in HIM!!!! Thank you for the permission this grants us all to be who we are!
    I am dramatically blessed by JESUS by you and your life! Your mothers “glory date” is my momma’s birthday. I will remember you in prayer from now on as the LORD reminds me. Heard a quote related to what you shared that touched me mightily: “We never ready to let go of our mother’s hand, but her death shapes our hears one last time. Without her, our love spills out in all directions, falling her and there, in the most unlikely places. Perhaps it is her greatest gift, to leave us all aching for each other.” Then.. “to not just to simply ache for one another but to continue to uplift one another and be balm for that ache”. Thought that profound. Hope you are blessed by the sharing. I pray you have a glory date like Moses did…treasured by our HOLY LORD and set apart special as we know precious in HIS sight is the death of His saints. You are a treasured possession of HIS and your life shows it. Love IN CHRIST, Deborah Mott

  28. 328
    Kathy says:

    Lots of laughter over the spray tan comment! You and I are the same age Beth. I grew up by the beach and I simply did not feel normal w/o a tan. All these years later I find myself also using tanner on my arms and rarely on my legs. Somehow I feel discombooberated (?)w/ghost white legs, but I’m learning to relax about it. I often thank Jesus for capris pants!!

    • 328.1
      Jill says:

      Oh my I have missed you. I haven’t visited your blog in awhile and I am so glad I came and read today. This is the kind of post I love, genuine Beth Moore. I moved to Katy, Texas three years ago and I remember thinking the only person I even know of who lives in Houston, Texas is Beth Moore!! I still haven’t made it past Second Baptist but soon, very soon I am going to make it down I-10 and see you up close and personal. Thanks for being you, always grateful for your wisdom and sharing Jesus!


  29. 329
    Heather says:

    Beth, never apologize for random, that’s what we all love so much about you. I don’t come here as often as I should, and as much I should, I don’t partake in the bible studies in Houston, being only 60 miles away and working in downtown. However, getting a dose of “you” and your family, physically makes me whole again and reading your “random thoughts” made me feel good. As if I was sitting there with one of my best girlfriends listening to you spout them off. I love them, and I’m sure the rest of us love them, as I’m about to read. I love you. Thank you for always reminding us to look to God and Jesus, even in the roughest of times. Heather from Waller, Texas a/k/a “the country”

  30. 330
    Diana says:

    Thanks Beth for the babbling. I love it that you are so down to earth. Hope you didn’t get sick from the okra.

  31. 331
    Christie says:

    You, precious one, are a breath of fresh air. I loved this post. I giggled, teared up, felt loved and connected, shared it with a few friends, and prayed over it. Thank you for making us feel loved and cherished. Be blessed.

  32. 332
    alyssa says:

    This post was so much fun! I love that glimpse into your brain! Glad to know you are just as random as the rest of us! I have been following your blog since doing SSMT this year and it has been such a blessing. This is the hardest chapter of my life to date and so often I turn to God’s word through your Bible studies and radio programs. Thank you for obeying God and sharing your life with us. And, by the way, every woman needs to read “So Long Insecurity”– it changed my life!!! ๐Ÿ™‚ Love you Siesta Mama!!!!

  33. 333
    Lisa says:

    One of my most favorite posts in forever! It’s like we are well…siestas again!

  34. 334
    cathy-charlottesville says:

    I just read this was an ‘uncategorized post’-fair warning indeed. It kind of reminded me of my case of the ‘Monday’s’ which you had on Tuesday because you took the day off to be with sun glassed husband! Now it all is much clearer- looking forward to your next post after you have consumed the right, just the right amount of fried okra.

    I also look forward to ‘Secrets’ I was at the NC LPL- I re – read my notes later that week after I got home and thought to myself- ‘wow, she could of gone in many different directions and deeper with this if she had more time’. Glad you did!
    Hope Star is feeling spunky and relieved and you got to rock MAOH’s little girl so you both can tolerate your remainder August walks better. Well I have written a tad more than I expected so, I better go- enjoy your coffee and when I struggle with my nights or ‘fits’ of insomnia – I will be comforted that you might be in that same place – praying -‘this too will pass’!
    Sorry, you started it! Have a good weekend!

  35. 335
    Lynne from Sedona says:

    Absolutely loved it. Thank you.

  36. 336
    floridalizzie says:

    You are so funny! Your worst blog posts are also your best blog posts. We love you Beth, for being so human and lovable. By the way, I loved the message of the Net Bible post you did before this one on your memory verse. It was also great.

  37. 337
    Paula Risius says:

    Sweet Beth,

    We all do it—-put Christian speakers on a “they-have-it-all-together pedestal!” To read your random thoughts makes us know you are just like us! And makes us LOVE YOU MORE! You just bless my socks off!

  38. 338
    WHill says:

    #1 – O, Beth, I SOOO understand about the missing your Mother thing. My Mom went to heaven 14 years ago. There are days that I still miss her almost as much as when she first left me… I have so many regrets and find myself thinking “what if…” so often!! And my family has fallen apart – completely!

    #2 – I also suffer with insomnia (it is 5 am where I live)

    #3 – I “soooo” use the word so (or soooo) to much!

    #4 – Loved your post for this day!!

  39. 339
    Jane Litchfield says:

    Love you Beth, your the best ๐Ÿ™‚

  40. 340
    CECILIA says:

    Glad to know I am not the only one having these kind of days when nothing will come but we know that Jesus loves us.

    Love you Ms. Beth. Get some rest.

  41. 341
    Julie says:

    OK I just read that today-Friday-and you have blessed me!!! I have giggled and giggled and identified in a profound way!!! Thanks for sharing all of you…I followed the bouncing ball quite well. Blessings abound

  42. 342
    Judy Smithmyer says:

    Beth, I just wanted to tell you how much I enjoyed this blog post. I try to keep up with your blog, but it’s been several weeks and this one was so refreshing and fun ! I love your sense of humor and humility. I too use the word “so” too much and “love” way too much ! !
    Anyways, thank you for thinking of us and praying for us.

    BTW, please keep my sweet 3 yr old grand daughter in your prayers. Her name is Emma Grace and she has recently been battling a terrible condition called Alopecia Areata. It is claming most of her lovely golden/brown hair. She has the most wonderful strong spirit and i know GOD is in control and will use this situation to HIS Glory. However, it is soooo hard for her parents and grandparents to see her lovely hair falling out in front of our eyes.
    thank you Beth…

  43. 343
    Karene says:

    I love when you’re random just as much as when you’re deeply spiritual. Makes it seem like we have a real friendship ๐Ÿ™‚

  44. 344
    Ally says:

    Darling Beth, this brightened my day. It’s good to know I’m not the only one that thinks in such a rapid zigzagging trains of thought. Be blessed in your willingness to share your true self to us ๐Ÿ™‚

  45. 345
    Leah says:

    Dear Beth,

    Thank you for the genuine unadulterated laughs. I needed them. I would say the last two weeks have been the hardest in my entire life and this moment of hilarious (and poignant) revelation helped take me away from my grief for a brief span.

    Thank you and much love to you,


  46. 346
    Susan says:

    I loved this post !! I have a 3yo granddaughter, Dezyree, and can relate to the cell phone thing. What joy!! Lol especially at the tanner one. I am so white that I pretty much blind folks when i step outside. Would love to know what kind of tanner you use cuz it always looks so natural, and would love pointers on applying to feet and ankles cuz mine never comes out right so I never wear dresses. =/ Love, love, love you !!!!!!

  47. 347
    Twyla says:

    Beth, I love you so much and pray for you all the time. Twyla

  48. 348
    Warm In Alaska says:

    Oh. That was funny (well, your post was really funny) but when I went to click the “comment” button, I accidently clicked it for the August 1 verse – and I started reading Siestas’ verses thinking: did I miss something? Is everyone prophesying over Beth today?

    Okay. Thanks, Beth. I needed to laugh! And to think I’ve never tasted fried okra. Well, I guess I’ve never even tasted okra….

  49. 349
    Richelle says:

    Regarding your #12, I just buried my mother two weeks ago tomorrow. I know I will miss her just as much in 15 years too. I can hardly take it right now.

  50. 350
    Tara says:

    Oh. My. Goodness.

    Thank you for the laugh.
    Thank you for being SO real.
    You rock.

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