Impossibly, Nearly Unforgivably Random. And I’m sorry in advance.

Have you ever wanted to blog so badly because you love your blog community so much you can hardly stand it but your mind is as fried as a Louisiana catfish? Well, that’s me today. My heart is huge with affection for you right now but my brain has shrunk under the weight of my bleached blond hair and my tired tongue is tied in about ten thousand tiny knots. I had the great privilege of serving in Sioux Falls, South Dakota this weekend and used up about 500,000 words and, incidentally, got to have my picture taken with about 40 of you darling things the moment it was over. I’ve spent today researching the next lesson I’m writing for Children of the Day and serving my beloved staff at our devotional and prayer time. (We usually have it on Mondays but I got to have a day off with my handsome man yesterday.) And so, here I sit, wanting so much to say something meaningful to you and to say it well and yet girlfriend is tragically bereft of words.

Therefore, instead of staying quiet when I’m bereft of words which is the better part of wisdom, I’ll do what any good, fast-talking sanguine would do: I will just say stuff that comes to my mind. So here goes for what may be the single most pathetic post of my blogging life. And all because I love you and don’t want you to feel forgotten around here. So, actually, you’ll need to take some responsibility for the anti-profundity that is about to blow up all over you like your four year-old with a stomach bug after a big plate of spaghetti and meatballs.

Random stuff going through my head – or through my life – or anywhere in the vicinity of 100 noticeable miles from me that I have energy enough to say. I’ll go for 20 of them:

1. The main thing I love to get at a fried chicken drive-thru like Church’s is okra. I love fried okra like nobody’s business. No matter what size container of it Keith brings home, I eat it. And I am never glad I did. No, I don’t usually eat that way. I only eat that way if Keith makes me eat that way by bringing it home and setting it under my generous nose. And I like a lot of salt on it. I’m sorry this was first but we’ve fasted all day here at the ministry and I am starving. Well. Not really starving but a tad hungry.

 

2. I wish I did not use the word “tad” so much.

 

3. I wish I did not use the word “so” so much.

 

4. 80% of my travel so far this 2013 has involved drama. Delays. Cancelled flights. You name it. No, I’m not superstitious or anything but my luggage is and it will be happy when it’s 2014.

 

5. I love serving at Living Proof Live as much as ever and, in some ways, maybe more. I’m not sure what’s up. Well, Jesus is up.

 

6. My beloved “Miss America of Hair” is out for 3 months with the cutest new baby girl you have just about ever seen. And I could use a strong antidepressant and maybe even a nerve pill. I have told MAOH (Miss America of Hair but it is unfortunate that I had to tell you that) that I am particularly gifted at rocking babies and have no doubt that I could do it even while she is cutting and blow drying my hair.

 

7. I hate that I’m so selfish.

 

8. I hate even worse that my hair looks like it has been teased with egg beaters then baked to utter unbreakability.

 

9. Travis has written a new theme song for Living Proof Live and it is just fantastic. I love it so much. There I go again with a “so.” So, so, so. It’s always so. I’m never underwhelmed. It’s always overwhelmed for me. At some point he’ll record it. I’m talking about Travis now. Please stay with me. I hope it’s while we’re still actually doing the event but we’ll see. He does not seem to be in a hurry. If the song turns into a video, I’ll go ahead and bless you by doing an interpretive dance.

 

10. Keith has new really cool, chunky black glasses that Melissa gave him for Father’s Day and he is so handsome in them. I’ve been working with him on how to wear them because Keith has never made “cool” a big priority. I know. I can’t understand it either. But, that fact is, in order to pull off this new look, I’ve told him over and over that he’s got to own it. He’s getting better at it. And every time he practices it with me, we get tickled to no end.

 

11. Jackson and Annabeth are at the best ages ever. 7 and 4. I’m bonkers over them. Of late, Annabeth has been swiping her mother’s cell phone and taping videos of herself. They are so funny that Melissa and I push play over and over and over again and laugh as hard the 15th time as the first. Annabeth sings really loud on them and mostly in an unknown language. It’s like once she hits record, she knows she needs to sing but cannot for the life of her think of any words. Like me and today’s post.

 

12. Tomorrow (August 7th) my mom has been with the Lord for 15 years. I cannot fathom it. She was the axle on which my entire family of origin wheeled. We miss her so much and we are still in the process of sewing our family back together. We all love each other very much but we don’t really know what to do without her. She said jump. We said how high? It’s like we haven’t jumped in 15 years. The spring went right out of our family step. Sorry. That one came out of nowhere. And now I’ve got a lump in my throat which is going to force me to have to say something unfathomably stupid for #13 so I can pull out of it.

 

13. Queen Esther is going to the beauty shop tomorrow for a trim. Please do not tell me that you do not know that Queen Esther is my 5 year old Border Collie who goes by “Star” for short. I cannot take it. Not after what you put me through with #12.

 

14. After untold years of unwavering devotion, I have recently switched from Starbuck’s Breakfast Blend in my coffee maker at home to Gevalia Traditional Roast. I still love Starbuck’s Breakfast Blend but it was out of stock recently at Kroger and Keith grabbed us some Gevalia and, honestly, it almost makes me high. Oh, not really. Calm down. But it does make me really anxious and really nervous but in kind of an exhilarating way. I think it may have more caffeine. And goodness knows, all I need is more caffeine.

 

15. I struggle with insomnia.

 

(So tickled. It’s deplorably bad manners to admit to, on occasion, making your own self laugh. I wouldn’t do it if this were a better post. But it’s not.)

 

16. Pause. Pause. Thinking. Thinking. Oh! Here’s a good one! Keith had to put a rabid raccoon out of its misery 2 weeks ago. I was just glad he didn’t take it to the taxidermist.

 

17. Getting desperate now. And hungrier. Hmmmm. I left my phone charger in the hotel room in Sioux Falls. That’s not a very good one. Let me see if I can think of a better one. Ok. I mostly just use my spray tanner on my arms. My legs that used to be golden brown by sun and then by spray are now a very odd shade of corpse white.

 

18. Kind of a fun new study experience (translation: not in-depth like COTD but much more than just a listening guide) has just come out called “Sacred Secrets.” We hadn’t intended to do it but had so much fun with it at an LPL event that it turned into something. I took a couple of weeks off from writing COTD to develop it with my editor. I’ll tell you about it when I’m in a more coherent mood. Now’s not the time. It’s not that I’m not in the mood to tell a secret. It’s that I can’t be trusted with anything sacred in this frame of mind.

 

19. I’m so dang glad it’s August because we can’t get it over-with in Houston until it gets here. Understand what I’m saying? It has to come to go. A lot of things are like that. We dread it all year long around these parts. I now take the dogs for a romp in the country at 7:00 PM so the temperature can drop below 100 degrees. I’m embarrassed at what a terrible point that one was. I know we’ll both be relieved for me to finally get to the next one and put us all out of our misery.

 

20. The last of my staff just texted me and said, “We are heading out!” So, I better get my tail out of here pretty soon, too, before there’s a creepster in the parking lot. Anyway, I’m hungry.

 

And I want fried okra.

 

I apologize, y’all. It’s been humiliating, hasn’t it? Can it just be the thought that counted today? I love you guys like crazy. Stay tight with Jesus. He’s everything. I’ll talk to you soon and it will be like I’m a different person. Only, underneath my skin, this is pretty much me. And THAT’S why we can each be thankful we have Jesus. Or we’d just be plain-old-us.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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422 Responses to “Impossibly, Nearly Unforgivably Random. And I’m sorry in advance.”

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Comments:

  1. 1
    Tori says:

    I read this blog all the time.. And have since the “Ruth” study.. And that was one of the best posts ever. Can you do one like that every week? Seriously!

  2. 2
    Sandra Oden says:

    I love your post because it reminds us that you’re JUST LIKE US!

  3. 3
    Christy says:

    That post just made me love you more!! Now, go enjoy you some fried okra. Xoxo

  4. 4
    Elizabeth says:

    In the caregory of “most random” that wins ALL my votes…and better yet, in the category of “most authentic” it wins my beloved Golden Heart award…thank you thank you thank you. For being real. If i needed to see that in Christian leadership at any point, God knew it was now! Muwah…#hugs

  5. 5
    Sandy Bowers says:

    Yes sweet Beth! It is definitely the thought that counts! But GF that’s what friends are for! We’re here for the long haul, the good and the bad and most assuredly for showing one another our real selves! It’s a relief to know that I’m not the only one who can ramble off such randomness at the drop of a hat. <<>> You, my friend, are a delight and I’m soooo blessed to have found this community! I love you!

  6. 6
    1gleaner says:

    I love some random thoughts to get to know you even better, bless your heart! I know your mind is always “stayed on Him” as you serve so many so faithfully so many weeks in so many places…so there you go! We can never adequately tell you how we love and appreciate you so much, dear Siesta Mama! Xoxoxo

  7. 7
    Rebecca says:

    Oh dear Beth! This post was a refreshing breeze to this soul who currently is being held hostage by a whopping case of bronchitis and nothing makes much sense right now! I love you worry about your hair, truthfully we all do and if my stomach wasn’t feeling a little like that aforementioned 4 yr old with spaghetti I would NEED some as well!
    Enjoy your evening! Thanks for the respite!

  8. 8
    Samantha says:

    Best blog post ever!!! Loved it. Adored it. Thank you!!!

  9. 9
    Jaime K says:

    Loved your randomness, thank you Blog Mama! I live half a world away and randomness was just the way to bring a little bit of home country connection and a giggle to my morning.

  10. 10

    Love, love, love this post…so honest, open, and transparent…just the way Jesus sees us…I do have one question though…what brand of spray tanner do you use?

    • 10.1
      LPM-KMac says:

      I know Beth has said before that she’s “tried them all”, but a few of us around the ministry are in love with Fake Bake (Ulta). And also another one I got a tip about from a makeup artist is TanWise (Sally’s Beauty Supply). Happy limb-tanning!

  11. 11
    kylie gunn says:

    The words that we are, and the meanings we express in the book of life, are just utterances aren’t they, unless we have the skill of the AUTHOR placing them next to the correct words that will give our collective sentence – REAL MEANING!! Today Beth Moore was just being a word, as we all are at times. Yet she will rise again, when she has time to sit in the seat the Author wrote the story from, to speak out more profoundities! We’ll give her the day off… πŸ˜‰

  12. 12
    Christy says:

    So loved this! It’s So Me! πŸ™‚

  13. 13

    Beth,
    That was so refreshing! Thanks for several laughs.
    Michele

  14. 14
    Rebecca says:

    Meant to say NEED some OKRA- see I told you I’m a bit fuzzy!

  15. 15
    Barbara K says:

    I love the randomness and the hilarity. Love you, Beth Mooore

  16. 16
    Shaci says:

    For starters I’m a nanny and would totally come love on that precious baby while MAOH did your hair! πŸ™‚ oh and I laughed until I had tears rolling down my cheeks at #17! Oh my… probably laughed a little to hard but oh well! πŸ™‚ I absolutely cannot wait for SSMTC!!! I can’t wait to see all my siestas! Hopefully some my age too!!!! πŸ˜‰ I am so thankful that you think about us all the time! You’re the sweetest!!! πŸ™‚ (: oooo…. here’s you a butterfly! —>)!( ….. well I tried! πŸ™‚

  17. 17
    Stacie says:

    Can I just tell you that I enjoyed this post so much that I don’t even have words! Thanks for being you. The real you. Not everyone is willing to do that. <3

  18. 18
    Amy Denae' Hossler says:

    As a pastor and pastor’s wife, that was downright hilarious and refreshing.
    Beth, you just go ahead and “BE”…cuz you. simply. rock.

  19. 19
    Ferne Southern says:

    Dear, dear Beth. You don’t know me from Adam or Eve but we have spent many hours together. I first met you about 15 years ago. Since then, when we aren’t spending time together, I can’t wait until someone from my Sunday Sisters tells me you are going to be with us again. I thank our Father often for giving you the gift that you share with us. Thank you for the love you have for us. I pray that you feel the love we have for you. Hopefully, we will visit again soon. Love, Ferne

  20. 20
    Sarah Farish says:

    21. I love, love, love Beth Moore and her post.

  21. 21
    Joyce Davidson says:

    So happy that you shared your “randomness”! And it feels like we shared some of your coffee….in the perfect mug, too much cream and, please, no sugar! And #11…I can only imagine the adorableness!

  22. 22
    Vanessa says:

    Great post! I really enjoyed it. Thank you for sharing!!

  23. 23
    Erin says:

    I love everything about this post. I love that I can “hear” you through it!

  24. 24
    Bobbie Lutz says:

    I’ve really missed your ‘random’ posts! These are fun and show us how much alike we all are! This has been a random summer for us…but we have a new Golden Retriever puppy, Carley, that has brought a lot of love into this house…and many sleepless nights. Thank goodness she’s beginning to sleep all night! At 7 weeks (3 days after we picked her up) We drove to Colorado and she did amazingly well in the car, but the grands were all there and loved on her.

    Can’t wait to hear Travis’ new LPL song, I’m sure it’s from the heart.

  25. 25
    Jo says:

    Oh Beth, I just love you! Always will! Cracked up at your offer to bless us with an interpretive dance if Travis makes a video of his newest song. You give… You give… Big hug to you!!!

  26. 26
    Karen Sampson says:

    Love all forms of randomness! Not every minute is graced with profundity! Randomness from Virginia– our neighborhood is beset by a newspaper stealing fox. What is the attraction to a fox of a newpaper? The comics? Crossword? Coupons? The editorials? So funny!! (So is well, so useful!)

  27. 27
    Paula says:

    Thanks for bringing a smile to my face with your comments. I can relate! Also, a wonderful post for the scripture memory on August 1. Thank-you!

  28. 28
    Denise says:

    All I can say is LOVE!!

  29. 29

    For “not having any words,” you came up with a lot. And they were hilarious! Thanks for freeing up the rest of us to be random and goofy, even if we’re not blonde.

    With love,

    Rhonda
    One small, caffeinated American mom
    I mean it.

  30. 30
    Renee Kelley says:

    Dear Mrs. Beth,

    It’s ReneΓ©. You see me at BCF and graciously ask me how we are each time. I am the crazy mom who has fibromyalgia and is going to be tested for Aspergers coming up. I have the 3 girls who have Autism Spectrum disorder (Oldest- aspergers, middle- autism, youngest- Aspergers). My girls are age 13, 11, and 7 years old. (And Harmony, Bless her heart, has been having a rough couple of weeks. She and I are tired due to it too! Pray for Harmony! Her Aspergers, stutter, and sensory disorder are making life even rougher than usual for her and I.)

    I am so glad that you posted this today. So I am not the only one whose mind does this and who mind and body feels like this today(toasted after so much responsibility). My heart is so full back at you, but I am so tired. I have such and overwhelming schedule of schooling my girls, multiple therapy appointments 3-4 days out of the week, therapy homework, household things, etc. that push myself during the weekdays and hope to have a little rest on the weekends somewhere. Today some of these things were done earlier than usual. I was so tired and hurt so bad that I had a rare chance to rest and doze in and out of late afternoon nap. I usually never get that chance. There were a couple of things I need to do at some point that I could have done but weren’t absolutely necessary at this time. I felt like there was something more responsible that I should probably be doing so I felt guilty for resting, yet felt so worn out that I wasn’t good for doing much of anything. Yet I knew I shouldn’t feel guilty because I am always pushing it, going going, and doing the responsible things so I have pushed to far and need rest. Well, it’s two hours later and time is flying. I feel a tad better, but still physically feel bad like I could rest all night long. However, life doesn’t permit it! Thankfully, My evening
    load is some lighter than last week. Please pray for strength for me! I will pray for you!

    I loved the random things that you posted because you are real and we love that. It lightened my afternoon as I took a few minutes as I rest to read it! It was enjoyable! I felt like someone out there thinks and feels similar to me, especially after being so busy all day. It’s not just me. My mind can’t be put to much right now. I feel guilty for that, yet know I shouldn’t. I wish I could function better, but can’t so that’s life.

    Love ya, Mrs. Beth!

  31. 31
    Cassia Glass says:

    Laughed so hard my husband had to make sure I was ok. Made my day–it has been a long, rainy, cooped up one so I was ready to giggle. Bless you, Beth!

  32. 32
    Kelley Mann says:

    Lol, oh my! That was random but very enjoyable. I do love this blog! πŸ™‚ Beth Moore, I think you are wonderful!

  33. 33
    jenn in GA says:

    as your barista, i must share with you that breakfast blend is one of the more caffeinated coffees we have. the dark roasts that the ‘bux is famous for, that everyone thinks have such high octane, are actually the least caffeinated of all those we carry. the caffeine is decreased in proportion to the amount of roasting, so lighter roasts retain more of theirs.

    i know nothing of gevalia, but if it’s more caffeine that makes you this giddy, i say, bring it on! i love it when you ramble and make yourself laugh. i laughed out loud several times during this missive, and that made the day brighter!

    your barista, signing off because she has to be awake in the middle of the night so she can open the store in time for you to come get your breakfast blend,

    jenn

  34. 34
    diane says:

    Oh my gosh, I keep saying I’m not gonna get your tweets to my phone because I shouldn’t know so much about someone that I don’t really know…it’s kind of weird, but Beth you make me think and cry and laugh and want to be a better women,and I love you sister. I also think SNL needs to do a parody on you. It would be the funniest show ever, at least in the body of Christ…we would get it. I’m crying thinking about it as I write the script in my head… Can I get an amen, anyone? xo

  35. 35
    emi says:

    Thanks for the post. I loved the randomness…as Jim Valvano said “If you laugh, you think, and you cry, that’s a full day. That’s a heck of a day.” Love to you! πŸ™‚

  36. 36
    carla Lee says:

    It’s good to know—don’t take this the wrong way— that you are just as crazy some days as the rest of us. LOL Glad you’re this way; it’s what makes you a very real Beth Moore!!!!! Stay who you are, we love you much!

  37. 37
    Katherine says:

    The fried okra totally redeemed anything written before or after. Some in our family think fried okra should replace popcorn at the movies!

  38. 38
  39. 39
    Becky says:

    Fantastic post Beth! I was just thinking today that I hadn’t checked into this blog in sometime, even though it is clearly bookmarked on my macbook! So glad I checked in today!!

  40. 40
    Pam says:

    Love you, siesta-mama! So glad you came to our hometown this past weekend to share the word. . . . humbled to hear God speak through you and Travis and the worship team. . . so relieved to hear out loud that there is a purpose for the intense time of labor between the “prelude” and a new season of “purpose” if you know what I mean! This was my prayer for you this weekend – it was impressed on my spirit when I walked into the Arena, and I hope it makes sense to you in your spirit: “Dear Father God, be real to your servant Beth this weekend. Let her know that you pick her up in your arms and carry her tenderly, as a loving Father carries his precious child.” I don’t explain it, I just pray what He tells me to pray when He tells me to pray it.

  41. 41
    Laura says:

    Loved it!

  42. 42
    Donna Jo says:

    On the Facebook feed there was a post by Lifeway about Sacred Secrets only they did a typo and it was Scared Secrets. I did a double take and wondered what that was going to be about! Yep… some of my secrets are scary too! πŸ™‚

  43. 43
    Barbara says:

    So glad you chatted with us today. Couldn’t get a friend in the world to do so with me today when I desperately needed someone, so who better than you, Beth!!!!! Sometimes random, casual posts are just as important and meaningful as the profound ones. I am a girl from the North who loves fried okra too. To know take-out is available in mass quantities is just torture to hear : ) I’ll be waiting for that interpretative dance and then join you. I’ll pray for you if you pray for me when I can’t sleep with my insomnia…SO love you Beth. And can over use the word so as well!!!!! (See, used it five times) lol!

  44. 44
    Michelle Baylerian says:

    Oh Beth,

    I LOVED the randomness of your blog!! Love to learn more about you. Sad to see that you struggle with insomnia as well (: Feel free to share more of yourself, YOU ARE LOVED!!!

  45. 45
    WendyBrz says:

    I could not possibly be more tickled with a post from you than I am right this minute! Thank you for an absolute belly laugh (and unfortunately I have plenty of belly with which to laugh) in the midst of a rather serious week. Much love.

  46. 46
    ReneΓ© Kelley says:

    Oh, and to show you how 3 sheets to the wind my brain is! I didn’t see the request for no responses to this post and the apology in advance until I had already posted a response!
    Lol

    Epic fail!

    Oh we’ll, your post was a lot more exciting than my response!

    Still love ya, Mrs. Beth!

  47. 47
    RaeLeen Bustin says:

    I love you Beth! You are a gift from God!

  48. 48
    trisha bullard says:

    Beth , that had to be the funniest thing I have read all day! Laughter is medicine for the soul!!! thanks for sharing and just taking the time it means a lot!
    Have a great Week!

    I just love Jesus!
    Trisha

  49. 49

    I don’t know why, but your random post reminded me of my two favorite posts ever on this blog. One was during the first Kelly Minter summer study and everyone posted a recipe, that was so fun, and I gained several great recipes! Loved that post!

    The other one had something to do with moving furniture in your house at Christmas and you asked us a question about moving furniture that resulted in over 2,000 comments and they were hilarious. It was just one of those posts that took on a life of its own:)

    Don’t know if you remember either of those, but I just felt like mentioning them, I wonder if anyone else remembers these??

    I hear you on the August issue, 104 in Dallas today…

  50. 50
    Erin VT says:

    A couple of things in response to your post with my considerably less witty writing ability:

    1) I have witnessed my four year old with a stomach bug after eating spaghetti and meatballs. My mom’s spaghetti has been ruined forever because of it.

    2) If you want a step up from Starbucks breakfast blend you should give Starbucks Tribute blend a go. I tried it for a couple of mornings before deciding that the incredible motivation I had to do something, ANYthing, wasn’t worth the floating sensation in my head. But I have a weak caffeine constitution. I get that from my mother, along with her recipe for spaghetti.

    3) I had the great pleasure of being at LPL Sioux Falls this past weekend. It was a time of refreshing for me – a reconnecting with my Savior. The time spent in the third session sharing and in prayer was precious to me and to my group. We had a chance to be so vulnerable with each other and before Jesus. Thank you and the worship team for offering your gifts to be used by Him!

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