Impossibly, Nearly Unforgivably Random. And I’m sorry in advance.

Have you ever wanted to blog so badly because you love your blog community so much you can hardly stand it but your mind is as fried as a Louisiana catfish? Well, that’s me today. My heart is huge with affection for you right now but my brain has shrunk under the weight of my bleached blond hair and my tired tongue is tied in about ten thousand tiny knots. I had the great privilege of serving in Sioux Falls, South Dakota this weekend and used up about 500,000 words and, incidentally, got to have my picture taken with about 40 of you darling things the moment it was over. I’ve spent today researching the next lesson I’m writing for Children of the Day and serving my beloved staff at our devotional and prayer time. (We usually have it on Mondays but I got to have a day off with my handsome man yesterday.) And so, here I sit, wanting so much to say something meaningful to you and to say it well and yet girlfriend is tragically bereft of words.

Therefore, instead of staying quiet when I’m bereft of words which is the better part of wisdom, I’ll do what any good, fast-talking sanguine would do: I will just say stuff that comes to my mind. So here goes for what may be the single most pathetic post of my blogging life. And all because I love you and don’t want you to feel forgotten around here. So, actually, you’ll need to take some responsibility for the anti-profundity that is about to blow up all over you like your four year-old with a stomach bug after a big plate of spaghetti and meatballs.

Random stuff going through my head – or through my life – or anywhere in the vicinity of 100 noticeable miles from me that I have energy enough to say. I’ll go for 20 of them:

1. The main thing I love to get at a fried chicken drive-thru like Church’s is okra. I love fried okra like nobody’s business. No matter what size container of it Keith brings home, I eat it. And I am never glad I did. No, I don’t usually eat that way. I only eat that way if Keith makes me eat that way by bringing it home and setting it under my generous nose. And I like a lot of salt on it. I’m sorry this was first but we’ve fasted all day here at the ministry and I am starving. Well. Not really starving but a tad hungry.


2. I wish I did not use the word “tad” so much.


3. I wish I did not use the word “so” so much.


4. 80% of my travel so far this 2013 has involved drama. Delays. Cancelled flights. You name it. No, I’m not superstitious or anything but my luggage is and it will be happy when it’s 2014.


5. I love serving at Living Proof Live as much as ever and, in some ways, maybe more. I’m not sure what’s up. Well, Jesus is up.


6. My beloved “Miss America of Hair” is out for 3 months with the cutest new baby girl you have just about ever seen. And I could use a strong antidepressant and maybe even a nerve pill. I have told MAOH (Miss America of Hair but it is unfortunate that I had to tell you that) that I am particularly gifted at rocking babies and have no doubt that I could do it even while she is cutting and blow drying my hair.


7. I hate that I’m so selfish.


8. I hate even worse that my hair looks like it has been teased with egg beaters then baked to utter unbreakability.


9. Travis has written a new theme song for Living Proof Live and it is just fantastic. I love it so much. There I go again with a “so.” So, so, so. It’s always so. I’m never underwhelmed. It’s always overwhelmed for me. At some point he’ll record it. I’m talking about Travis now. Please stay with me. I hope it’s while we’re still actually doing the event but we’ll see. He does not seem to be in a hurry. If the song turns into a video, I’ll go ahead and bless you by doing an interpretive dance.


10. Keith has new really cool, chunky black glasses that Melissa gave him for Father’s Day and he is so handsome in them. I’ve been working with him on how to wear them because Keith has never made “cool” a big priority. I know. I can’t understand it either. But, that fact is, in order to pull off this new look, I’ve told him over and over that he’s got to own it. He’s getting better at it. And every time he practices it with me, we get tickled to no end.


11. Jackson and Annabeth are at the best ages ever. 7 and 4. I’m bonkers over them. Of late, Annabeth has been swiping her mother’s cell phone and taping videos of herself. They are so funny that Melissa and I push play over and over and over again and laugh as hard the 15th time as the first. Annabeth sings really loud on them and mostly in an unknown language. It’s like once she hits record, she knows she needs to sing but cannot for the life of her think of any words. Like me and today’s post.


12. Tomorrow (August 7th) my mom has been with the Lord for 15 years. I cannot fathom it. She was the axle on which my entire family of origin wheeled. We miss her so much and we are still in the process of sewing our family back together. We all love each other very much but we don’t really know what to do without her. She said jump. We said how high? It’s like we haven’t jumped in 15 years. The spring went right out of our family step. Sorry. That one came out of nowhere. And now I’ve got a lump in my throat which is going to force me to have to say something unfathomably stupid for #13 so I can pull out of it.


13. Queen Esther is going to the beauty shop tomorrow for a trim. Please do not tell me that you do not know that Queen Esther is my 5 year old Border Collie who goes by “Star” for short. I cannot take it. Not after what you put me through with #12.


14. After untold years of unwavering devotion, I have recently switched from Starbuck’s Breakfast Blend in my coffee maker at home to Gevalia Traditional Roast. I still love Starbuck’s Breakfast Blend but it was out of stock recently at Kroger and Keith grabbed us some Gevalia and, honestly, it almost makes me high. Oh, not really. Calm down. But it does make me really anxious and really nervous but in kind of an exhilarating way. I think it may have more caffeine. And goodness knows, all I need is more caffeine.


15. I struggle with insomnia.


(So tickled. It’s deplorably bad manners to admit to, on occasion, making your own self laugh. I wouldn’t do it if this were a better post. But it’s not.)


16. Pause. Pause. Thinking. Thinking. Oh! Here’s a good one! Keith had to put a rabid raccoon out of its misery 2 weeks ago. I was just glad he didn’t take it to the taxidermist.


17. Getting desperate now. And hungrier. Hmmmm. I left my phone charger in the hotel room in Sioux Falls. That’s not a very good one. Let me see if I can think of a better one. Ok. I mostly just use my spray tanner on my arms. My legs that used to be golden brown by sun and then by spray are now a very odd shade of corpse white.


18. Kind of a fun new study experience (translation: not in-depth like COTD but much more than just a listening guide) has just come out called “Sacred Secrets.” We hadn’t intended to do it but had so much fun with it at an LPL event that it turned into something. I took a couple of weeks off from writing COTD to develop it with my editor. I’ll tell you about it when I’m in a more coherent mood. Now’s not the time. It’s not that I’m not in the mood to tell a secret. It’s that I can’t be trusted with anything sacred in this frame of mind.


19. I’m so dang glad it’s August because we can’t get it over-with in Houston until it gets here. Understand what I’m saying? It has to come to go. A lot of things are like that. We dread it all year long around these parts. I now take the dogs for a romp in the country at 7:00 PM so the temperature can drop below 100 degrees. I’m embarrassed at what a terrible point that one was. I know we’ll both be relieved for me to finally get to the next one and put us all out of our misery.


20. The last of my staff just texted me and said, “We are heading out!” So, I better get my tail out of here pretty soon, too, before there’s a creepster in the parking lot. Anyway, I’m hungry.


And I want fried okra.


I apologize, y’all. It’s been humiliating, hasn’t it? Can it just be the thought that counted today? I love you guys like crazy. Stay tight with Jesus. He’s everything. I’ll talk to you soon and it will be like I’m a different person. Only, underneath my skin, this is pretty much me. And THAT’S why we can each be thankful we have Jesus. Or we’d just be plain-old-us.









422 Responses to “Impossibly, Nearly Unforgivably Random. And I’m sorry in advance.”

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  1. 251
    Sharon Telfer says:

    Don’t be sorry for a random post,as this random-thinking gal totally gets it. Plus it made me laugh out loud numerous times! Love you Siesta Mama!! God Bless!!

  2. 252
    Leah says:

    Beth, I LOVED your post! It made me laugh and Lord knows, I was in a desperate need of one today. I’m thinking you should do this at least once a month.

    How about branding your own coffee too? You could call it: Give Me Moore Caffeine!


    • 252.1
      Sharon Weldonin says:

      Leah, I attend to a local womens conference and a few years ago they had a local coffee company make and package a special blend named, Intentional Sisterhood, which is the name of the ministry. It was a cool idea. (Your comment reminded of this)

  3. 253
    Julie Reynolds says:

    This post is exactly reason #2287656565 that I love you so much!! The randomness, the honesty and the hilarity of it all. Lots of love and prayers! Julie

  4. 254
    Monique Dozer says:

    You are such a blessing to me, Beth!! I, too drink Gevalia (except mine is decaf) and I love it and the price!! ๐Ÿ™‚ Love you!!!

  5. 255

    You know, in the Texas summers, we are always allowed to blame our fried brains on the heat.

  6. 256

    What a refreshing post, getting to just listen to a girlfriend chat! God bless you and all your staff! ๐Ÿ˜‰

  7. 257
    Linda says:

    So related to the random, wandering thoughts. It’s how my mind works most of the time! Have you ever shared the story of how you and Travis crossed paths? Would love the hear it.

    • 257.1
      LPM-KMac says:

      I cannot recall exactly where Beth tells how she and Travis were first introduced, but it was definitely a Lifeway pairing way back when ‘Living Proof Live’ was a baby!

  8. 258
    kathypinkbicylearkansas says:

    But we love these random post because it tells us: you are our “ordinary” friend and ordinary friends share the mundane. That’s life… is not always exciting
    I’ve had the stomach bug going around over the weekend so no talk of spaghetti and meatballs please….
    My thoughts are so very rambled because of so much going on in my life, recovering from spinal fusion surgery…. it’s good to hear someone else’s rambled thoughts as well, Love you Beth

  9. 259
    linda says:

    random is what makes us who we are – just plain us is so very good to hear from you, beth – it makes me glad i’m in the same universe with you. this was the best post ever, reminding me it’s okay to just “be” because it’s how he created us to be… and that you’re so (oops) very real with us, is the best part of it. i confess to being a hair snob – needing to maintain my own hair to a “just-so” level and always seeing the same hairdresser. i have panic attacks when she goes on vacation and isn’t available when i need her for a trim – isn’t that awful? they offer to schedule me with someone else and i practically scream “no” at them as if i might die were someone else’s hands to touch my locks… sigh – i should get over it, it’s only hair after all. i was comforted when you shared about your “maoh”… i felt so much better after that! thanks again for keeping it real with us!

  10. 260
    Kay/Indiana/solo says:

    LoLoveLove Love this post !! And you too Siesta Mama !! You are an inspiration to love Jesus more. Thanks

  11. 261
    Paula says:

    I smiled all the way through this post! I loved it sooo much ๐Ÿ™‚ I don’t smile a lot these days. That’s Beth!

  12. 262
    Diana A. says:

    UGH August!

    So thankful for your post… it livened up my email box … which is practically empty…due to August.

    Thanks for being just Beth this blog… next Ms Beth will come in her teacher suit and we’ll be Blessed too!

    Love to you!

  13. 263
    Rhonda says:


    This is only the 2nd post I’ve ever read from your blog – and before you have a heart attack (at it’s ickiness, you say), can I just say how freakishly REFRESHING it is! Oh, joy and hallelujah!… I’ve read possibly hundreds of blogs and this one post made me smile soooooooo much!! THANK YOU, THANK YOU, THANK YOU!! p.s. according to Accuweather, this is the last week of the year in northern TX to have triple digit days – hoping that’s true for Houston as well.

    Blessings!! (now, go eat)


  14. 264
    Nancy Cherota Sonnier says:

    Psalm 127
    Unless the Lord build the house
    they labor in vain who build it.-
    Unless the Lord guard the city
    In vain does the guard keep vigil.

  15. 265
    Tami says:

    Ohhhh….so needed some levity! Thank you!

  16. 266
    Amy Gregg says:

    Absolutely LOVE your authenticity ๐Ÿ˜‰

  17. 267
    Lisa says:

    Good to know random thoughts that invade the minds of ladies who inspires us…builds us up so we know we too can inspire others…you used the phrase “bereft of words” – which promptly made me look up it’s meaning…you’ve educated me!

    Did you even realize you mentioned switch to stronger coffee immediately followed by comment on suffering from insomnia?

    Love you to pieces!

  18. 268
    Annette Baal says:

    Regarding point #15—help! My insomnia has been difficult lately. I have tried everything. This seems so chronic amongst us women. What works ladies? Any good ideas out there so we can get some good sleep?

    • 268.1
      rhonda says:

      i am looking into certain vitamins to try…but in the meantime taking a couple of garlic tablets at night helps as does fennel or cammomile tea(or both teas mixed together is good too). hope that helps. i am also looking for an all natural estogen replacement besides tofu or soy. i like those things but want something stronger. help…haahaa.
      Blessings ๐Ÿ™‚

  19. 269
    Kimberly Ann Caddo Mills TX says:

    Can I just say…for a 2:52pm pick me up!! this was just what i needed!!! you know those days when its just ho hum kinda, you gotta a lot stuff to do, but yet its 2;53pm and really nothing has gotten marked off the “to do list” but making lunch lol that was a priority. Even though I have been up since 5am and have gotten ALOT done, but yet still fill like the list is never ending. So this blog of randomness is just what I needed to fill my afternoon and just make me smile that yes I am soooo loved by an amazing God, and if one more thing does not get done today, that is okay with me. Your randomness of encouragement has encouraged me to pay it forward to the next person that walks into my office!! Serving Jesus is sweet with amazing women like you! Be original, Be yourself!!

  20. 270
    Jennifer says:

    Thank you Beth,
    you gave me a sweet laugh on a crazy day of my own!
    So Blessed by you!

  21. 271
    maria says:

    pure awesomesause, beth! love the humor – just what I needed today!

  22. 272
    Cindy says:

    Loved this post and getting the giggles while reading it! Can you tell us which spray tan product you use? Would love to look not so pale in shorts. Have been avoiding them this summer. Don’t want to blind anybody!

  23. 273
    Nichole says:

    Oh my word, that was fun! Have an extra drink for me….see #14. LOL

  24. 274
    Tammy says:

    I have to say, a random, FUNNY post like this is just what I needed to read today. I adore your wit. Don’t ever stop being you!

  25. 275
    Brenda says:

    You just crack me up! One of the things I love most about you is that you make me laugh, and we all know laughter does us good like a medicine! Thanks for always being so genuine and honest!
    I get to visit your beautiful state of Texas in Nov. to see Joseph Prince and am so glad it will be a cooler season!
    Love and Prayers!

  26. 276
    Kristin A. says:

    Love hearing from you just to chit chat like a bunch of friends. Hugs!

  27. 277
    Leigh says:

    I’m so glad to see you being random. It gives me hope. ๐Ÿ™‚ And I love fried okra. And I’m totally holding out for the interpretive dance. Have a blessed day.

  28. 278
    Beth says:

    Thank you for loving us! We love you and need you.

    Your mom is beautiful!!!!

    Praying for you today.

  29. 279
    Robin in New Jersey says:

    It is so good to hear from you, Beth! I love the randomness.

    Beth, how is your sister? I think about her sometimes and wonder and pray. Is it possible for you to give us an update?

    I wish I could go one to one of your conferences. But you are never in this neck of the woods and I am totally broke, so I can’t make a trip to one. I was looking over your study on secrets and I would really like to try to get a group of ladies and do it together. We shall see.

    Keep the faith, Beth!

  30. 280
    Lori says:

    I’ve never tried fried okra…fried green tomatoes, yes. I’ll have to try fried okra if I ever make it back to Texas to visit my stepsisters.
    My Mom died at age forty-one. I just turned forty-one this summer-still think about her every day. I have to drive by the cemetary where she’s buried on my commute to work – what WOULD we do without Jesus!

  31. 281
    Lisa says:

    Oh Beth, I just love you! Your randomness and downright goofiness just make you that much more precious. And yes, it may be bad manners to admit it, but I, too, make myself laugh. Out loud. All the time.

  32. 282
    Linda says:

    I talked with my sister this afternoon and she asked, “Did you read Beth today?” I said that I hadn’t and she replied, “Go read it and then call me back.” Number 12 of your “Impossibly….Random List” stopped her in her tracks. Then it stopped me, and when I get a hold of the 3rd sister, she will be immobile. Our mother stepped on the dance floor at the wedding feast of the Lamb 10 years ago last month. Your illustration of jumping caught our attention. When Mother was here to choreograph, jumping was much easier. We jumped separately and she smoothed over our missteps and kept us off each other’s toes. Now without our director, we’ve linked arms and jump in tandem. Not an easy step! We are careful of each rhythm, each timing, and of the music flowing through each heart and mind. Grandchildren have been born, marriages planned, and reunions attended in the ten years since Mother left for the dance without us. We remain – arms linked – harder to jump to the tune of the legacy left to us, but so worth the effort.

  33. 283
    Chris in PA says:

    I loved it! BTW, I just got my ticket for Hershey! Can’t wait to see you there! MWAH

  34. 284
    Mary G. says:

    Dear Beth,
    Was remembering your anniversary of losing your Mom. Wishing I could give you a hug (Had to go back and rewrite that last sentence as I wrote I wish I could give you a hog. I would never but I’d love to see the look on your face. Grin.) Because I can’t give you a hug I asked Jesus too. His are so much better anyway. Love ya..

  35. 285
    Genevieve Garrison says:

    I loved every word of your blog. I loved your random thoughts. Oh, by the way, I live two hours east of Houston so I totally understand about August heat. Blah!

    Have a blessed week.

  36. 286
    Laura Deibel says:

    I needed a good belly laugh!
    I, too, lost a parent on August 7th. My dad went home in 2004. He was given 3 months to live on the day I found out I was pregnant with my first and only….at 40! Dad said he’d live to see my child and I have the most precious picture of him holding my son. God gave me a wonderful man-child to ease the pain of losing my dad. He blesses us beyond measure! Thank you for sharing your love.

  37. 287
    Kristin says:

    This is just about the very BEST thing I may have ever read. (And I knew you had it in you all along.) ๐Ÿ˜€ Oh! for vicinity to hug ya more!!!

  38. 288
    Karen says:

    I do random when I journal all the time and then draw a line down to when I finally reconnect to what I was first writing about 15 paragraphs ago-does anyone else do that??

    Random all in a paragraph: My dad has been gone 11 years-oh I know what you’re going thru Beth & other siestas. More lighthearted: I don’t fuss much with hair but am extremely anxious that my hairdresser will retire. I worry about my dog groomer retiring!! Excellent future blog topic-pets. Have 2 schnauzers, just put in to adopt a third! I still have not gotten over Lindsey’s post about sleep habits. Read that before you go to bed and you’ll laugh yourself tired enough to sleep. And be sure to spritz your pillow and sheets with lavender aromatherapy when you do!

  39. 289
    Rozanne Gaston, Leawood, KS says:

    God bless you! I have giggled all through this! As I started this, I thought to myself, “Beth’s had about three triple espressos!” Then I get to numbers 14 and 15 and had to laugh out loud! Yep, caffeine and joy in the LORD has definitely got you in overdrive!
    I’m so happy God fills you up after you have poured yourself out for us. We love you! He is using you to the great benefit of His Kingdom growth!
    May God bring your family of origin to complete wholeness,unity and love. Also keeping your sweet immediate family, healthy, protected and blessed!

  40. 290
    AnnaMarie says:

    Beth, I love that you’re you and real and as scattered as the rest of us. Bless your “got more blonde than you paid for” heart, Siesta Momma and Caffeine Sister!

  41. 291
    Candace Lyons says:

    One of my favorite posts to date! #17 was the best! I now have the answer to the aching question of, “How DOES she get her arms so tan?”…And all this time I thought it was from runnin’ in the brush! ๐Ÿ™‚

  42. 292
    Rachel says:

    Love, love love you! Thank you for your random musings! I hope to come to LPM event in Springfield, IL. Jesus is up!

  43. 293
    Corrie says:

    I always say okra is one of my three favorite foods! Along with chocolate and cucumbers but not all three together!

  44. 294
    melanie hylok says:

    too funny!
    2 things: I grew up in Arkansas but have lived in Minneapolis for 30 years. every single time I have been home my momma had a skillet of fried okra for me with okra right out of my uncle calvin’s garden. she would pick and freeze it so I could have it for thanksgiving and Christmas! its my favorite thing! my mom and my uncle are in heaven now but the homegrown okra, made with love is one of my best memories!
    2nd thing: 6 of my dear friends traveled with me to Sioux Falls this past weekend to see you live for the first time. I am a Siesta and was in the picture with you. we had the most wonderful time praising God and studying our birthing purpose with you! love and appreciation and thanks to you dear beth

  45. 295
    Kim B. in AZ says:

    So glad to know I am not the only one who has crazy balls of thoughts. Love this kind of post.

    Thanks for wanting to connect with us.

  46. 296
    Lauren from Springfield says:

    This was “so” fun to read! Looking forward to both new Bible studies so much!

  47. 297
    Kelly says:

    Just what I needed! A smile!

  48. 298
    Gina says:

    Beth…love you so, so, so much more than a tad and I hope you got your fried okra! God bless you much!

  49. 299
    Maleta K says:

    Dear Beth
    Thanks for the laugh. Your random thoughts were so ummm…random – so real life. You mentioned the travel problems you have encountered so far this year. You are coming to West Virginia in September and I am so excited. i purchased tickets for my daughter and I and Lord willing, we are preparing to come and be blessed. I am on the prayer team offering up the event to our Great God. I’ll throw in an additional request that God would deliver you and your luggage together to Charleston, then return together back to Houston.
    May God give you the word so that we who are already in Christ may be drawn closer, and if any are there who do not have salvation, may September 14th, be the day their life is changed forever. May God’s presence bind us together.

    Your Siesta in Christ

  50. 300
    Tanya says:

    This post made me laugh out loud – especially the part about Annabeth, and the part about how your hair looks. These little odd details are the fun part of getting to know people. This might be one of my favorite posts ever!

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