Impossibly, Nearly Unforgivably Random. And I’m sorry in advance.

Have you ever wanted to blog so badly because you love your blog community so much you can hardly stand it but your mind is as fried as a Louisiana catfish? Well, that’s me today. My heart is huge with affection for you right now but my brain has shrunk under the weight of my bleached blond hair and my tired tongue is tied in about ten thousand tiny knots. I had the great privilege of serving in Sioux Falls, South Dakota this weekend and used up about 500,000 words and, incidentally, got to have my picture taken with about 40 of you darling things the moment it was over. I’ve spent today researching the next lesson I’m writing for Children of the Day and serving my beloved staff at our devotional and prayer time. (We usually have it on Mondays but I got to have a day off with my handsome man yesterday.) And so, here I sit, wanting so much to say something meaningful to you and to say it well and yet girlfriend is tragically bereft of words.

Therefore, instead of staying quiet when I’m bereft of words which is the better part of wisdom, I’ll do what any good, fast-talking sanguine would do: I will just say stuff that comes to my mind. So here goes for what may be the single most pathetic post of my blogging life. And all because I love you and don’t want you to feel forgotten around here. So, actually, you’ll need to take some responsibility for the anti-profundity that is about to blow up all over you like your four year-old with a stomach bug after a big plate of spaghetti and meatballs.

Random stuff going through my head – or through my life – or anywhere in the vicinity of 100 noticeable miles from me that I have energy enough to say. I’ll go for 20 of them:

1. The main thing I love to get at a fried chicken drive-thru like Church’s is okra. I love fried okra like nobody’s business. No matter what size container of it Keith brings home, I eat it. And I am never glad I did. No, I don’t usually eat that way. I only eat that way if Keith makes me eat that way by bringing it home and setting it under my generous nose. And I like a lot of salt on it. I’m sorry this was first but we’ve fasted all day here at the ministry and I am starving. Well. Not really starving but a tad hungry.


2. I wish I did not use the word “tad” so much.


3. I wish I did not use the word “so” so much.


4. 80% of my travel so far this 2013 has involved drama. Delays. Cancelled flights. You name it. No, I’m not superstitious or anything but my luggage is and it will be happy when it’s 2014.


5. I love serving at Living Proof Live as much as ever and, in some ways, maybe more. I’m not sure what’s up. Well, Jesus is up.


6. My beloved “Miss America of Hair” is out for 3 months with the cutest new baby girl you have just about ever seen. And I could use a strong antidepressant and maybe even a nerve pill. I have told MAOH (Miss America of Hair but it is unfortunate that I had to tell you that) that I am particularly gifted at rocking babies and have no doubt that I could do it even while she is cutting and blow drying my hair.


7. I hate that I’m so selfish.


8. I hate even worse that my hair looks like it has been teased with egg beaters then baked to utter unbreakability.


9. Travis has written a new theme song for Living Proof Live and it is just fantastic. I love it so much. There I go again with a “so.” So, so, so. It’s always so. I’m never underwhelmed. It’s always overwhelmed for me. At some point he’ll record it. I’m talking about Travis now. Please stay with me. I hope it’s while we’re still actually doing the event but we’ll see. He does not seem to be in a hurry. If the song turns into a video, I’ll go ahead and bless you by doing an interpretive dance.


10. Keith has new really cool, chunky black glasses that Melissa gave him for Father’s Day and he is so handsome in them. I’ve been working with him on how to wear them because Keith has never made “cool” a big priority. I know. I can’t understand it either. But, that fact is, in order to pull off this new look, I’ve told him over and over that he’s got to own it. He’s getting better at it. And every time he practices it with me, we get tickled to no end.


11. Jackson and Annabeth are at the best ages ever. 7 and 4. I’m bonkers over them. Of late, Annabeth has been swiping her mother’s cell phone and taping videos of herself. They are so funny that Melissa and I push play over and over and over again and laugh as hard the 15th time as the first. Annabeth sings really loud on them and mostly in an unknown language. It’s like once she hits record, she knows she needs to sing but cannot for the life of her think of any words. Like me and today’s post.


12. Tomorrow (August 7th) my mom has been with the Lord for 15 years. I cannot fathom it. She was the axle on which my entire family of origin wheeled. We miss her so much and we are still in the process of sewing our family back together. We all love each other very much but we don’t really know what to do without her. She said jump. We said how high? It’s like we haven’t jumped in 15 years. The spring went right out of our family step. Sorry. That one came out of nowhere. And now I’ve got a lump in my throat which is going to force me to have to say something unfathomably stupid for #13 so I can pull out of it.


13. Queen Esther is going to the beauty shop tomorrow for a trim. Please do not tell me that you do not know that Queen Esther is my 5 year old Border Collie who goes by “Star” for short. I cannot take it. Not after what you put me through with #12.


14. After untold years of unwavering devotion, I have recently switched from Starbuck’s Breakfast Blend in my coffee maker at home to Gevalia Traditional Roast. I still love Starbuck’s Breakfast Blend but it was out of stock recently at Kroger and Keith grabbed us some Gevalia and, honestly, it almost makes me high. Oh, not really. Calm down. But it does make me really anxious and really nervous but in kind of an exhilarating way. I think it may have more caffeine. And goodness knows, all I need is more caffeine.


15. I struggle with insomnia.


(So tickled. It’s deplorably bad manners to admit to, on occasion, making your own self laugh. I wouldn’t do it if this were a better post. But it’s not.)


16. Pause. Pause. Thinking. Thinking. Oh! Here’s a good one! Keith had to put a rabid raccoon out of its misery 2 weeks ago. I was just glad he didn’t take it to the taxidermist.


17. Getting desperate now. And hungrier. Hmmmm. I left my phone charger in the hotel room in Sioux Falls. That’s not a very good one. Let me see if I can think of a better one. Ok. I mostly just use my spray tanner on my arms. My legs that used to be golden brown by sun and then by spray are now a very odd shade of corpse white.


18. Kind of a fun new study experience (translation: not in-depth like COTD but much more than just a listening guide) has just come out called “Sacred Secrets.” We hadn’t intended to do it but had so much fun with it at an LPL event that it turned into something. I took a couple of weeks off from writing COTD to develop it with my editor. I’ll tell you about it when I’m in a more coherent mood. Now’s not the time. It’s not that I’m not in the mood to tell a secret. It’s that I can’t be trusted with anything sacred in this frame of mind.


19. I’m so dang glad it’s August because we can’t get it over-with in Houston until it gets here. Understand what I’m saying? It has to come to go. A lot of things are like that. We dread it all year long around these parts. I now take the dogs for a romp in the country at 7:00 PM so the temperature can drop below 100 degrees. I’m embarrassed at what a terrible point that one was. I know we’ll both be relieved for me to finally get to the next one and put us all out of our misery.


20. The last of my staff just texted me and said, “We are heading out!” So, I better get my tail out of here pretty soon, too, before there’s a creepster in the parking lot. Anyway, I’m hungry.


And I want fried okra.


I apologize, y’all. It’s been humiliating, hasn’t it? Can it just be the thought that counted today? I love you guys like crazy. Stay tight with Jesus. He’s everything. I’ll talk to you soon and it will be like I’m a different person. Only, underneath my skin, this is pretty much me. And THAT’S why we can each be thankful we have Jesus. Or we’d just be plain-old-us.









422 Responses to “Impossibly, Nearly Unforgivably Random. And I’m sorry in advance.”

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  1. 51
    Lori Todd says:

    I love this post! Just what I needed today! It’s been a couple of heavy days at work and I needed something light and funy. Ankhs for being so real! By the way, it’s 8:00 pm in west Texas and its still 100 degrees! Come on fall!!!!

  2. 52
    Cheryl Stevens says:

    I loved this. Thanks for sharing your random stuff with those who love you in spite of never having met you.

    God bless you !

  3. 53
    Michelle R says:

    I love you Beth. I laughed so much at the Insomnia remark. I too love coffee and “suffer” from it as well. I am supposed to be cleaning my house for a party this weekend to celebrate two life events in our household. My daughter is turning 21 and my son is leaving for College on Monday. Maybe somewhere deep down I think that if I don’t prepare for the party, the imminent departure will not be happening. Who am I trying to kid, I am always last minute. I think my husband of 23 years has become used to this but I am sure he is hoping I will someday be super organized and always ready for these things. I must quit dallying and get to work. Love you tons!

  4. 54
    Jamie in Katy says:

    Beth, honey, I spent the entire day with my precious 84-year-old daddy at MDAnderson, and it squeezed my heart so hard. I needed this post in the worst way. I love you.

  5. 55
    Bridgitte says:

    Thank you for being God’s tool for us in Sioux Falls!!! Your message “birthing purpose” is just what we needed to hear and the blessings from that message will bring God much glory! (I wish you could have heard us talking about it to our families and church. We came back different and recharged! We also worshipped in church Sunday like we have never before. We are all excited to discover each of our ‘birthing purposes. Give the praise team a hug from us too!)

    Thank you from the depths of my heart and soul! <

    Your sister from Norfolk NE!

  6. 56
    Tilda says:

    Beth thank you for being you and being real. It makes such a difference for us human gals. I also struggle with insomnia. I am so sorry that this year has been so difficult so far. I saw you live for the first time last weekend at Sioux Falls. Thank you Beth for coming to minister to us. You are loved deeply. So many, many, times you have ministered so deeply to me, through your studies. But you might be surprised at the times you ministered to me because you were real with stuff that was difficult. I could identify and that brought hope to me. I don’t have it all together either, but I so love my Jesus. God bless you and keep you, Beth.

  7. 57
    Bethany says:

    Oh how I love you! Your randomness is so fun and your silly posts are a great provision of laughter. Sometimes that’s exactly what we need!
    Continually praying for you dear Beth!

  8. 58
    Kelly Rogers says:

    I loved this post! I giggled for lots of reasons. One being, right before I came to the blog I had googled “restore the year of the locusts Beth Moore” to see if any commentary would come up by Beth. One thing that came up was “the year that ate Beth Moore.” I had to laugh, as I am sure she would, too. I have had a year or two that I felt as though I had been eaten. Speaking of eating, I love okra, too. Yum! Thank you Beth for continuing to bless us all here on the blog with your wisdom and your wit! I pray for you often.

  9. 59
    Erica D. says:

    Thank you! Thank you! I giggled most of the way through and could “so” relate to the stream of consciousness. Your transparency and commitment are everything today.

  10. 60
    Melany says:

    I love this post. It fit my “back to school craziness” teacher mode. Thanks!

  11. 61
    Tasha says:

    Love the random post. I can relate…..

    And by the way, you mentioned self tanner, what kind do you use??

    • 61.1
      LPM-KMac says:

      I know Beth has said before that she’s “tried them all”, but a few of us around the ministry are in love with Fake Bake (Ulta). And also another one I got a tip about from a makeup artist is TanWise (Sally’s Beauty Supply). Happy ‘tanning’!

  12. 62
    Donna S. says:

    Ha! I love random posts like this! You’re just keeping it real and we can all appreciate that. Hope you get some rest and some fried okra this evening!

  13. 63
    Joy says:

    Oh, don’t be so hard on yourself….that was fun! I almost fell out of my chair laughing when I saw that you wrote “I have insomnia” right after you had written how much you love your new coffee “high”! Awesomeness. And, oh yeah….I can relate. xoxo

  14. 64
    Sunni says:

    Totally what I needed! My mind is also fried (I just typed ‘friend’ instead of ‘fried’… told you so) and I really needed something to calm me down and make me smile. My two year old won the battle today AND totaled her crib right before bedtime.

    Thanks for the giggles!

    And yes, Jesus is my everything and I’m so thankful that His mercies are new each morning.

  15. 65
    JulieP says:

    Hahaha! Thanks Beth, I totally got all of that and loved it!!

  16. 66
    Heather B. says:

    And this is why we love you ๐Ÿ™‚ Felt like I just got off the phone with my best friend. We cover about 20 topics in 20 minutes…most of them having nothing to do with the other. Go get that okra!

  17. 67
    colette says:

    I love you soooooooo much!!! I love how random this is and I needed this post sooooo much today!! I am on my way to a Nar-Anon meeting!! Just the Rx I needed before going!!! Thank you and if you need a stylist you.could come to Az! I would LOVE to do your hair while MAOH is on maternity leave!!! ๐Ÿ™‚

  18. 68
    sharon says:

    Always love to hear from you on your blog. Will be thinking of you tomorrow. My Dad passed away 15 years ago today. He too was a spoke in the wheel of our family. Can’t wait for the live simulcast next month. Love You !!!

  19. 69
    Liz says:

    Had a rough day. Thanks so much for making me laugh at your nonsense ๐Ÿ™‚

  20. 70
    Sister Lynn says:

    Oh Beth – this is exactly why we love you so!!!
    Been a crazy day here too.
    S. Rebecca and I were literally walking in circles trying move a chair from one end of the hall to the other – then we started laughing and dropped it – twice.
    Thanks for sharing YOU with us.

  21. 71
    Clarice says:

    My precious friend Lori and I were with you in South Dakota – thanks for ministering!

  22. 72
    Donna Sava says:

    You are a RIOT and make me glad I’m a siesta!

  23. 73
    Tammy Bellinger says:

    Thank you for just being you with us! I relate so much better to someone who isn’t perfect and with it entirely all the time.

    We just ordered Sacred Secrets for our Spring retreat for our church ladies! Can’t wait to get it!

    We love you! And, through all your studies, I have learned so much more about the Bible, and my love for Jesus has grown and grown through each and every study or event with you. Thank you for letting Him use you!

  24. 74
    Lynn says:

    Simply Wonderful

  25. 75
    Becca says:

    Randomness makes my heart smile ๐Ÿ™‚

    Insomniacs of the world unite!
    I’m amused by the meme that says,
    “When I can’t sleep, I try counting sheep, but my ADD kicks in. One sheep, two sheep, cow, pig, Old MacDonald had a farm. Hey, Macarena!”

    I have the same problem with “bit” that you have with “tad”.

    I always get fried okra at Chinese restaurants and Wal-Mart. I don’t know why. I’m trying to grow my own but they are only producing one at a time, so I’m only up to 5 okra in the freezer at this point. P.S.- you should try frying your own okra in coconut oil. You’re welcome.

  26. 76
    bergenske says:

    Beth-wow! I’ve seen many of your teaching videos in my church Bible studies. I have days like you are describing. First time that I had been at a teaching conference was this past week-end at Sioux Falls, South Dakota. It was “awesome.” God is always Good and Always there for His people. I brought my daughter-in-law and she loved it. I have been praying for her to have the Lord touch her life and save her. Your teaching was awesome and so was Travis C. and the music. Excellent. Thank You. Sandy

  27. 77
    Mischia says:


    Today I felt like you were my best friend,who had too much caffeine and too little sleep, but I was smiling the whole time I listened to you.

    From your BFF in North Carolina.

  28. 78
    Aubrey R says:

    Love it! Love hearing little parts of your life. ๐Ÿ™‚

  29. 79
    Martha says:

    You are TOO much!! I love this post and love you!! My summer bible study group is on session 8 of your Revelation study and we are just learning SO very much!! What a blessing you are to us!!

  30. 80
    Patti says:

    Love you for you – profound or rambling. Blog away.

  31. 81
    Lisa says:

    Beth, you are DARLING!! LOVED YOUR “RANDOM” BLOG! LOVE YOU SOOOO! So thankful you follow our Jesus! You bless my socks off!
    Lisa Shriner ๐Ÿ˜›

  32. 82

    Beth, can’t wait to see your interpretive dance ๐Ÿ™‚

  33. 83
    Rhonda says:

    You always make me smile…
    how sweet you are, not knowing what to say to your siestas
    but just whatever pops into your head because you want us to know how much you love us!!! that is beautiful ๐Ÿ™‚
    Are you sure you aren’t jealous of Queen Esther going to her Beauty Salon tomorrow?! Ha Ha. jUst KidDinG.
    i will have to try the Starbucks extra blend since i’m sensitive to caffine. My Mom is growing okra in her garden and i would bring you some if i could. We like to fry it, too and has to be just a tad salty ๐Ÿ™‚
    i will be praying for you as you are missing your mom and praying that the sewing back together of your family will be finished soon!!!
    Hope that your MAOH gives you some rocking time soon!
    Maybe someday you can come to Fresno, CA
    i am moving there next month and i remember that you went there once. it would be so exciting to meet you!!!!!!
    Thank you for being you and for being SO real to us ๐Ÿ™‚

  34. 84
    Susan Petty says:

    Oh this post has just made me love you all the more!

  35. 85
    Tara G. says:

    Um, I personally enjoy random and think you do it quite well which makes me love you more.

  36. 86
    Tara says:

    I loved reading this, Beth! Sometimes a little light heartedness does the body good ๐Ÿ™‚

  37. 87
    mercy4Drew says:

    I think just like you! Also, I love fried okra (okrie if you are from Mississippi) and can eat it like popcorn! Just cornmeal and fried to a nice char black.

  38. 88
    Patty Anderson says:

    Beth, my Mother was from Monett, Arkansas and loved to fry okra in a little flour and cornmeal. I loved it and haven’t had it for many years. Growing up in California not many places you find fried okra. So I get it when you say you love okra!!! Thanks for jogging a memory of my Mother who I lost June 1, 1997.

  39. 89
    Kristi Longino says:

    Just joined the blog today. It already feels like I am with a friend. Beth, thank you for Providence last month. I have pondered much on what you said and how things happened there. The Lord showed me a secret that needed to be brought out into the light while I was at You Lead. He even gave me confirmation on Sat. at the LPL event. Just in case I didn’t get it the first time. God’s timing.. Can’t wait to do your study, Sacred Secrets with my small group. I am excited to be here with you ladies. I look forward to getting to know you. Kristi

  40. 90
    Amanda Cross says:

    Beth, glad you shared your 20 list. I wouldn’t have thought you struggle with insomnia. Sorry, but I laughed too after reading it. ๐Ÿ™‚

    Glad to hear from you. ๐Ÿ™‚

  41. 91
    Tina says:

    So funny & yes, very random! Get some food, then some rest. ๐Ÿ™‚

  42. 92
    moongirl says:

    You have no idea. This post was fantastically fun! And I identified with you on almost every level… which is why you are such a brilliant teacher/leader/mentor/mama… you share your life and you… as you are… which is lovely… and hilarious! I just wanted to say thank you for…. saying that about Fried Ocre! Seriously. I am secretly the same way about friend cheese (or ‘cheese nuggets’ we call them around here). Any size you bring me… I don’t want to share them… and I’ll eat them all. I am the opposite and have a little nose that can literally barely smell. But place them under this nose and they’ll get eaten nonetheless. You are a riot. And I love you so. And thank you for giving us permission to be us… and showing us we can still have a ministry… as us. Oh man I love you!

  43. 93
    Avayd Ann Lacy says:

    I, for one, personally LOVED that random blog, Beth! I have missed that fact that you don’t blog as much when you are writing a new study. BUT keep on writing those Bible studies, please.

    1 Could it be that the insomnia is related to the higher caffeine in your new coffee blend? Just a thought. lol

    2 I received my LifeWay Bookstore flier in the mail today and saw the new study that came out of the event in, was it NC? I can’t wait for you to tell us more about it or go look at it myself in the bookstore whichever happens first.

    Thank you, Beth, for all you do for all of us. Blessings beyond measure!! Avayd

  44. 94
    Tammy says:

    Oh mama Beth, you just crack me up. I saw you this past weekend in Sioux Falls. You were so cute and your hair looked great. I learned so much and God got in my business.

    Here is my random thought…I talk in my sleep. I have actual conversations and have no clue what I said the next day. Talk about interesting

  45. 95
    Gwen Ziegler says:

    Loved this! Knowing that those I admire have off, crazy days is a comfort and reminder that I am not falling short. We all have our days and insights like that draw people together! Some of the best laughs come out of the blue

  46. 96
    Ashley says:

    You cannot apologize for loving fried okra. A. You’re from the south, and B. it’s a vegetable. And it’s so good.

    Random fact: I met a sweet lady awhile back named Queen Esther. That’s what she goes by, Queen Esther. The whole thing, every time. It’s really a pretty solid name.

  47. 97
    Margot Martinez says:

    Thank you for this fun post, Beth! Loved it!

  48. 98
    Ashley says:

    I can’t handle that grammatical error dangling out there. I met her “a while” back. There. That’s better.

  49. 99
    Susie Hoffmann says:

    Beth, thank you for this post. I needed a laugh. It is good to see you are like all of us and ramble once in a while. Enjoy the okra.

  50. 100
    Anna G. says:

    This post made me inexplecitly happy. I love silliness. And realness. And Beth Moore.

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