Impossibly, Nearly Unforgivably Random. And I’m sorry in advance.

Have you ever wanted to blog so badly because you love your blog community so much you can hardly stand it but your mind is as fried as a Louisiana catfish? Well, that’s me today. My heart is huge with affection for you right now but my brain has shrunk under the weight of my bleached blond hair and my tired tongue is tied in about ten thousand tiny knots. I had the great privilege of serving in Sioux Falls, South Dakota this weekend and used up about 500,000 words and, incidentally, got to have my picture taken with about 40 of you darling things the moment it was over. I’ve spent today researching the next lesson I’m writing for Children of the Day and serving my beloved staff at our devotional and prayer time. (We usually have it on Mondays but I got to have a day off with my handsome man yesterday.) And so, here I sit, wanting so much to say something meaningful to you and to say it well and yet girlfriend is tragically bereft of words.

Therefore, instead of staying quiet when I’m bereft of words which is the better part of wisdom, I’ll do what any good, fast-talking sanguine would do: I will just say stuff that comes to my mind. So here goes for what may be the single most pathetic post of my blogging life. And all because I love you and don’t want you to feel forgotten around here. So, actually, you’ll need to take some responsibility for the anti-profundity that is about to blow up all over you like your four year-old with a stomach bug after a big plate of spaghetti and meatballs.

Random stuff going through my head – or through my life – or anywhere in the vicinity of 100 noticeable miles from me that I have energy enough to say. I’ll go for 20 of them:

1. The main thing I love to get at a fried chicken drive-thru like Church’s is okra. I love fried okra like nobody’s business. No matter what size container of it Keith brings home, I eat it. And I am never glad I did. No, I don’t usually eat that way. I only eat that way if Keith makes me eat that way by bringing it home and setting it under my generous nose. And I like a lot of salt on it. I’m sorry this was first but we’ve fasted all day here at the ministry and I am starving. Well. Not really starving but a tad hungry.


2. I wish I did not use the word “tad” so much.


3. I wish I did not use the word “so” so much.


4. 80% of my travel so far this 2013 has involved drama. Delays. Cancelled flights. You name it. No, I’m not superstitious or anything but my luggage is and it will be happy when it’s 2014.


5. I love serving at Living Proof Live as much as ever and, in some ways, maybe more. I’m not sure what’s up. Well, Jesus is up.


6. My beloved “Miss America of Hair” is out for 3 months with the cutest new baby girl you have just about ever seen. And I could use a strong antidepressant and maybe even a nerve pill. I have told MAOH (Miss America of Hair but it is unfortunate that I had to tell you that) that I am particularly gifted at rocking babies and have no doubt that I could do it even while she is cutting and blow drying my hair.


7. I hate that I’m so selfish.


8. I hate even worse that my hair looks like it has been teased with egg beaters then baked to utter unbreakability.


9. Travis has written a new theme song for Living Proof Live and it is just fantastic. I love it so much. There I go again with a “so.” So, so, so. It’s always so. I’m never underwhelmed. It’s always overwhelmed for me. At some point he’ll record it. I’m talking about Travis now. Please stay with me. I hope it’s while we’re still actually doing the event but we’ll see. He does not seem to be in a hurry. If the song turns into a video, I’ll go ahead and bless you by doing an interpretive dance.


10. Keith has new really cool, chunky black glasses that Melissa gave him for Father’s Day and he is so handsome in them. I’ve been working with him on how to wear them because Keith has never made “cool” a big priority. I know. I can’t understand it either. But, that fact is, in order to pull off this new look, I’ve told him over and over that he’s got to own it. He’s getting better at it. And every time he practices it with me, we get tickled to no end.


11. Jackson and Annabeth are at the best ages ever. 7 and 4. I’m bonkers over them. Of late, Annabeth has been swiping her mother’s cell phone and taping videos of herself. They are so funny that Melissa and I push play over and over and over again and laugh as hard the 15th time as the first. Annabeth sings really loud on them and mostly in an unknown language. It’s like once she hits record, she knows she needs to sing but cannot for the life of her think of any words. Like me and today’s post.


12. Tomorrow (August 7th) my mom has been with the Lord for 15 years. I cannot fathom it. She was the axle on which my entire family of origin wheeled. We miss her so much and we are still in the process of sewing our family back together. We all love each other very much but we don’t really know what to do without her. She said jump. We said how high? It’s like we haven’t jumped in 15 years. The spring went right out of our family step. Sorry. That one came out of nowhere. And now I’ve got a lump in my throat which is going to force me to have to say something unfathomably stupid for #13 so I can pull out of it.


13. Queen Esther is going to the beauty shop tomorrow for a trim. Please do not tell me that you do not know that Queen Esther is my 5 year old Border Collie who goes by “Star” for short. I cannot take it. Not after what you put me through with #12.


14. After untold years of unwavering devotion, I have recently switched from Starbuck’s Breakfast Blend in my coffee maker at home to Gevalia Traditional Roast. I still love Starbuck’s Breakfast Blend but it was out of stock recently at Kroger and Keith grabbed us some Gevalia and, honestly, it almost makes me high. Oh, not really. Calm down. But it does make me really anxious and really nervous but in kind of an exhilarating way. I think it may have more caffeine. And goodness knows, all I need is more caffeine.


15. I struggle with insomnia.


(So tickled. It’s deplorably bad manners to admit to, on occasion, making your own self laugh. I wouldn’t do it if this were a better post. But it’s not.)


16. Pause. Pause. Thinking. Thinking. Oh! Here’s a good one! Keith had to put a rabid raccoon out of its misery 2 weeks ago. I was just glad he didn’t take it to the taxidermist.


17. Getting desperate now. And hungrier. Hmmmm. I left my phone charger in the hotel room in Sioux Falls. That’s not a very good one. Let me see if I can think of a better one. Ok. I mostly just use my spray tanner on my arms. My legs that used to be golden brown by sun and then by spray are now a very odd shade of corpse white.


18. Kind of a fun new study experience (translation: not in-depth like COTD but much more than just a listening guide) has just come out called “Sacred Secrets.” We hadn’t intended to do it but had so much fun with it at an LPL event that it turned into something. I took a couple of weeks off from writing COTD to develop it with my editor. I’ll tell you about it when I’m in a more coherent mood. Now’s not the time. It’s not that I’m not in the mood to tell a secret. It’s that I can’t be trusted with anything sacred in this frame of mind.


19. I’m so dang glad it’s August because we can’t get it over-with in Houston until it gets here. Understand what I’m saying? It has to come to go. A lot of things are like that. We dread it all year long around these parts. I now take the dogs for a romp in the country at 7:00 PM so the temperature can drop below 100 degrees. I’m embarrassed at what a terrible point that one was. I know we’ll both be relieved for me to finally get to the next one and put us all out of our misery.


20. The last of my staff just texted me and said, “We are heading out!” So, I better get my tail out of here pretty soon, too, before there’s a creepster in the parking lot. Anyway, I’m hungry.


And I want fried okra.


I apologize, y’all. It’s been humiliating, hasn’t it? Can it just be the thought that counted today? I love you guys like crazy. Stay tight with Jesus. He’s everything. I’ll talk to you soon and it will be like I’m a different person. Only, underneath my skin, this is pretty much me. And THAT’S why we can each be thankful we have Jesus. Or we’d just be plain-old-us.









422 Responses to “Impossibly, Nearly Unforgivably Random. And I’m sorry in advance.”

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  1. 101
    Natashajk says:

    Ha ha ha!!! You have blessed me in so many ways with this post of randomness, Siesta Mama. I love you so much too and pray that tomorrow will hold more fried okra and something else energy-giving ๐Ÿ™‚

  2. 102
    Heidi says:

    Heidi~Lindale, Texas

    Always, always, always leave this blog either smiling, laughing, challenged, encouraged, inspired, or convicted. Today is no different. Isn’t it funny how you can feel like you are best friends with someone you have never met? I feel like that with you, Beth, and everyone else at Living Proof. I am one of your quieter siestas and don’t post responses much other than for the scripture memory and Bible studies. But, I just want you to know that you bless me so much! It is so funny how I can always relate to what you are writing. Like—I have 7 and 4 year old grandchildren (both boys), too. They bring so much joy to our lives. I have been thinking a lot lately that I say “so” way more than I should….and I suffer from insomnia! This was not a wasted post at all. It was funny and lighthearted and sometimes we just need that. God bless you all. Thank you for everything you do to minister to me and so many others. You all are the BEST!

  3. 103
    Donna Oman says:

    I think “plain ol us” with Jesus is good…better than good. That’s why it all works, because you are just you, and you let us see that and we all feel like we know YOU. It’s like a private phone conversation between friends and I LOVE THAT.
    Thanks friend, talk to you later.

  4. 104
    Leslie says:

    Oh, girl! I love you more’n’my luggage! I can’t wait to see you in Bossier City in a couple of weeks! I’m bringing some girls from my church — a lot of us have done almost all of your studies together. And we’ve been to a bunch of LPL events but for whatever reason we’ve missed the last couple of years. And I’m the only siesta, so I probably won’t get to hang out for the siesta meet-up, because that seems rude. To them, I mean! Shoot! Loved the random post. Sometimes girlfriends just need to random!

  5. 105
    Megan says:

    I do so love you, Beth Moore–you’ve made me end my day laughing out loud. These are the kind of conversations I have most days.
    Hug yourself for me.–Megan in Kansas City

  6. 106
    BARBARA JEAN says:

    Girlfriend, you are hilarious! Great post. It was like our sharing a phone conversation! This is a good time to let you know how much your ministry means to me. I love your studies, I love that God is using you in an amazing way, I love that we have a hunger for His Word and His direction in our lives, and I love how He has blessed this blog community. Thank You Lord Jesus, we praise Your Holy Name!

  7. 107
    Catherine Barnett says:

    You are hilarious. Thank you got always being real and making me smile. By the way in Nashville Bar-b Cutie always had the best Fried Okra.

  8. 108
    Kathy says:

    I’ve missed this side of you! I love when you ramble about nothing that is positively an abundant of something! I have not been good on my memory verses…I need a slap in the face!

  9. 109
    Betty Marschner says:

    Dear Beth,
    You really are blonder than you pay to be sometimes!!! I was really bummed that I did not make SF to see you when I was planning on it all year but 2-500 mile trips in the space of 10 days is abit much for me.
    I am looking forward to next year and 2 chances once again in Mpls ( have to buy a dress for my son’s wedding that weekend) then in Billings 498 miles the opposite direction! Please ask to see your Seista Sistas at both places so I can get a pix with you!
    It would have been my mom’s 87 birthday today she’s been gone 18 yrs as of July 15. I saw tons of professional bloggers writing things about mothers today! I felt it was a kiss from the king to read those. Then I asked for .50 of rain and it, no kidding, started thundering and we got…. you guessed it .50!!! He is just so worthy of praise I can hardly stand it!!
    Sleep tight dear one and by the way, I have a buncha soon to be outdated antidepressant and Ambien I can give you free of charge!! Too bad it is against the law!!!
    Love ya! Remember He is just soo worthy!!! Praise to Him!
    Betty M

  10. 110
    Heather O'Donnell says:

    This is exactly why I love you so! Goofy thang!! LOVE IT!

  11. 111
    Liz from Austin says:

    Oh this made my night. Had me laughing!! I just finished watching the last James Mercy Triumps video tonight on my computer. Can’t make the study tomorrow and didn’t want to miss the video because I knew it would be good and it was. You told the story of your mom and your dad and the letter he carried around in his wallet until the day he died. So, so, so sweet. (I use so a lot as well ;)) I know tomorrow will be a special day for you as you remember and miss your beloved mama. Take Care.


  12. 112
    LInda says:

    I loved this….I hope and pray your Wednesday went much better than your Tuesday did. Thank you for sharing your “everyday” stuff with us! Praising and Thanking Him for you!

  13. 113
    Casey says:

    OH MY! I needed that. I think most of us women can agree with the things that whirl around our minds most days. I absolutely laughed OUT LOUD at # 8 and 14. It was great to hear from you and know that your crazy days are just as crazy as ours. I haven’t gotten to hit the blog much this summer, but I am so so so ๐Ÿ™‚ glad I did today!

    Much love and hair color ๐Ÿ˜‰

  14. 114
    Janine Lingner says:

    Oh Beth, this was AWESOME!! I just love you to pieces, and am so thankful to God for His goodness of settling me in the midst of 21st century technology. At what other time in history would we be able to get this kind of glimpse into the fun & funny & beautiful woman you are! Thank you for sharing. Don’t ever stop. And don’t ever press “delete” after pouring your soul out like this, either. I’m still giggly over it. Love you sweet lady. God bless you and your fried okra!

  15. 115
    Sandra Hanrahan says:

    I loved #10 I wish I could meet ur man one day! I think he is more famous than he thinks he is! Hahaha thank u for ur love for us siestas! ๐Ÿ˜‰ we love you too! I hope u will recover and I have to google okra bc I have no idea what it is. Maybe here is Canada they don’t sell it. Very Curious now. Have a great night!

  16. 116
    Jennifer says:

    Well, I can’t say I was hanging on every word- but I truly loved #14. Like, I laughed and snorted, real. Thanks for sharing the highs and the lows with us!

  17. 117
    Fran McCurry Plott says:

    Beth, this is why I love you! I would enjoy sharing my 20 random things with you, too, but then, so would everyone else!

    Praying for your #12. You guys are all so precious.


  18. 118
    Kate says:

    This was fun. ๐Ÿ™‚
    I go to Church’s just to get fried okra (’cause they are the only ones in this area that I know has it).

  19. 119

    yep. It’s posts like this that make me love you more. You write a thought provoking, “give me more of Jesus” kind of post one day that moves and challenges every piece of me and I never comment, but a post like this and I can’t help myself … We’d have fun over coffee, that’s fun sure!

  20. 120
    Shon says:

    And posts like this are one of the reasons you are “so” loved Beth Moore! Looking forward to seeing you in Tulsa next month!!

  21. 121

    You are such a woman after my heart – especially on the coffee, but more so on the randomness of posting! You’ve made my night and got me tickled – and my cat that was resting on me happily thanks you for the scare she just got when I laughed.

  22. 122
    Jen says:

    I’m so glad you said that about the coffee! I just tried that exact brand and roast today, and 16 oz made this coffee addict more jittery than when I was on the coffee-for-life diet in college! And I needed a good laugh too! Thanks! Have a blessed evening!

  23. 123
    Patti Reavis says:

    I had so much fun reading you blog. Thank you for letting us see who you are. I love that. It was like getting a note from a girlfriend. We love you Sooooo much.

  24. 124
    Jenn says:

    Beth, what a great post! You really made me laugh. I like the plain old you.
    I’m so sorry about your Mama.

  25. 125
    Debbie says:

    love your randomness, and love August but for a whole different reason..

  26. 126
    Kathleen Akridge says:

    I absolutely love the way you “speak” in your posts. Course, I’m a sucker for small talk. Don’t get me wrong, I like, no LOVE, a good ole’ heart to heart with my hubby or a girl friend, but, a cup of coffee and a conversation that won’t be remembered an hour after it’s over is good stuff. You know why? Because even though the topics may not be remembered in depth, the memory of being with that person will…just like this “conversation” with you Miss Beth! God bless you and all the special people who make this wonderful ministry possible!! <3

  27. 127

    Mama and I just talked about our okra experiences!! Church’s arguably is the best!! How do they do it? I could eat it anywhere … A pint size!!
    God blesses our rambling words!


  28. 128
    Miranda says:

    No one has replied to this, Siesta Momma? Well, let me be the first to say that I appreciate your Jesus-lovin’, frazzle-minded, random-filled self posting this blog today. And, if it makes you feel any better–my brain has a constant stream of thoughts similar to the ones you posted going on at any given second. You are not alone in that. ๐Ÿ™‚

    Love you.

  29. 129
    Sherry A. says:

    Love, love, LOVE it! It was light-hearted and made me chuckle. And yes, I already knew who Queen Esther is. Can’t wait to see you in Tulsa next month. ๐Ÿ™‚

  30. 130
    Mindy says:

    Mrs Beth,
    I loved this!!! Pretty much because I get just that same way, especially if I have fasted or just forgot to eat breakfast and then suddenly realize it’s lunchtime.( with four little people to take care of, I sometimes forget to get myself something to eat lol)
    I’m in Louisiana, so I feel your pain about August. We go to the pool at 5:30 in the evening because it’s just to hot during the day.
    My husband has insomnia so I sort of understand that. We are up watching TV at 2am sometimes, and I’m rack my brain for ideas to help him fall asleep.
    Thanks for loving us so so much;) And for just being yourself. It’s good to know I’m not the only one whose mind gets a little burnt out sometimes.

    Oh! one more thing. My husband and I were coming home late one night and saw an armadillo crawling around in my in-law’s yard.(my father-in-law had tried all sorts of interesting ways to catch this varmint but to no avail). Anyways we decided to ram it with our truck! I know that may sound mean, but, well he had been a nuisance. We got him, and hubby went back with his pistol to make sure he was dead (mainly because he likes to shoot his pistol I think) Anyways see you soon in Bossier!! Can’t wait.

  31. 131

    Love you Beth! You make me laugh out loud, cry real tears and praise The Lord.

  32. 132

    I hadn’t intended on reading your blog tonight due to the late hour. However, I decided to dive in and see what was up with the unusual title. Hmmm… So glad I did! Enjoyed it “sooooooo” much! :o) Thanks for the chuckles to end this day! Love and hugs!

  33. 133
    Amy Hawk says:

    HAHAHA, You are hilarious Miss Beth!I think I would have guessed you were fasting even if you hadn’t told us. But not from coffee, am i right?:)

    bless you – thanks for not taking yourself to seriously. it helps us all!

  34. 134
    Bitsy says:


    Plain old you is just fine by me. Would rather hear random from you and know that you are real like the rest of us than to hear really glamorous or high falootin’ stuff that nobody else really ever does. i learned a long time ago that the best friends are the ones who will eat a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with you and will drink a glass of water, just to share some time together. ๐Ÿ™‚

    Thanks for being random with us.

    Praying for you as you remember your mom. Anniversaries of death are always hard. But God is the best Comforter ever! ๐Ÿ™‚

  35. 135
    Carol Hulin says:

    Dear Siesta Mama: Your random thoughts are never random…just saying…
    Thank you for this, just what I needed today.
    Now this Canadian girl has no idea what okra is, but anything that has to do with food has to be good.
    Thank you

  36. 136
    Maryjo Landwehr says:

    I love you, Miss Beth! You make me smile.

  37. 137
    Lisa says:

    I just love you, Miss Beth! And I’d love to have fried okra with you someday!

  38. 138
    Earnestine Potts says:

    This blog caused me to love you even more. I love your humor, your transparency, your love for people and Jesus. Thank you for your obedience to God and your servant heart. You are laying up many treasures in Heaven. Being a grandmother is indescribable,but I sure enjoy your comments about your babies. They grow up so fast.

  39. 139
    amc says:

    Random? Yeah, probably. Relevant? Absolutely! My mom died May 14 of this year and my family has no idea what to do either. I kept thinking somethings wrong with me because I don’t know what to do and my heart burst with pain at the most incovenient times. It’s good to know either your family and my family are normal… Or crazy… But at least there’s two of us out there experiencing the same thing. Thanks for sharing random, relavent thoughts. I love you, Beth Moore!

  40. 140
    Denise says:

    Thanks for the transparency in this post. Its day someone told me (my boss) that I went o.ver the top and then wanted glitter on top. I told her my glitter had roots. Is this random enough to fit the post?

  41. 141
    Diane says:

    I absolutely loved this! It made me laugh. Thanks for just being YOU

  42. 142

    Smiling at you, oh normally eloquent one, as I find things to read to get tired (ha that was NOT what it read like), also thingibg of my grand girls who just went home to Round Rock and this emptynestland home being too quiet. Feeling reflective as I ponder what to toss on the blog-so much waiting in my notebook, but of course I don’t think it’s good enough…your pist was endearing, you human, you who I’ve never met but know because of our God. Missing some of the old school days when our church in the Woodlands piled into cars to go into Hoyston to watch God come crashing out of your thoughts and prayers to renew us. Oops I see I’ve rambled and made a pretend blog post! Be blessed my friend, and give yourself a break ๐Ÿ™‚

  43. 143
    Kristy says:

    As apologetic (not apologetics..hmm why are those roots similar?) as you were for posting that, it was the first blog of yours I’ve read. And I loved it! You, plain-ole-you are hilarious. I’m trying to recall why I even stumbled across your blog; oh yeah, I was looking for a you-led study to do with a group this fall-of-the-leaves..I wish seasons were capitalized..or fall were just autumn..I don’t like a glorious season reminding me of original sin. But I digress. I should just say THANK YOU. You have taught me much through the years. And the way you express and share your personal relationship with the Lord inspires me to grow closer to Him.

  44. 144
    Rebecca says:

    I love love love this post, SO much ๐Ÿ˜‰ Loved you in Sioux Falls too!! Please come back lots!

  45. 145

    Oh my! Edit button….I claim mentalpause by way of typing at midnight on an iPhone in the dark while the mister sleeps. Or tapping submit before double checking. Yep, Jesus loves us even in our ‘glory’

  46. 146
    Ernestine says:

    That was fun. You are one of a kind. You are funny -very funny. And I love that you love Jesus so very, very much.

  47. 147
    Ellie says:

    This post just thrilled me and gave me many much-needed laughs. Thank you for sharing and posting just to stay connected. It was honest and fun to read ๐Ÿ™‚

  48. 148
    Mary G. says:

    Hi there Beth!
    Thank you for a wonderful conference! I drove from Minnesota all the way to South Dakota all by myself and when I got home every part of me was fried to the bone. I hit the bed and slept for three solid hours. You so blessed and surprised me this weekend you rendered me speechless. When I thought I could finally get some words out of my shy self we were standing in line waiting for our picture to be taken I bent over and looked at you from the side and thought..too late..( I was the one in the chair.) Thank you for a weekend with Jesus that I will never forget. Love, Mary

  49. 149
    colleen says:

    Hello Beth

    Thank you for spending some time with us on the blog just because you enjoy our company. I certainly didnโ€™t mind and enjoyed a few giggles! Which I certainly need because I happen to be in pretty difficult season of my life at the moment. And, as much as I love your wisdom and your teaching, sometimes I just plain feel as if Iโ€™ll never get there, never have that relationship with God that you are talking about. Anyhow, thanks for sharing your life โ€“ the difficult, the serious and the silly! May you be blessed today.


  50. 150
    Beth Bellow says:

    I loved your blog tonight–your 20 topics. I love that you are so real, so funny, so like all of us—there I go with your SO word. Hard not to use it. It’s so perfect.
    Most of all I love you back. You are an amazing sister in Christ and I have grown so much through the bible studies God has given you. You bless my life and I am so thankful for you.

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