My Sister Gay’s Fourth Installment: “Like Sunlight Burning at Midnight”

First Installment: Meet My Sister

Second Installment: The Functioning Years

Third Installment: The Maelstrom

From Gay’s heart to yours…

Gregg Taylor, my pastor and sweet, sweet friend, said in a sermon one night at Mercy Street that “the person who has a WHY to live can bear with almost any HOW.”  He was quoting Victor Frankl, author of Man’s Search for Meaning which chronicles Frankl’s experiences as a concentration camp inmate.  It means that if I have a reason, a purpose, something beyond where I am, a sense of what I could become, and I know that tomorrow is going to bring me closer to that then I can work with where I am today.  He went on to say, “If you have no hope, life ends.”

I didn’t stop breathing while I was out there on the street, but in all other respects my life had ended.  I knew that.  I knew that I had caused my family to leave me because I had not been willing or able to stop drinking.  I don’t know now whether I couldn’t stop or I wouldn’t stop (probably some of both), I just know that I didn’t stop. In my mind, I no longer had anything to live for.  My family was gone.  My employability was gone.  My desire to make another stab at recovery was gone.  My self-respect and integrity were gone.  My faith in myself and God were gone.  I had no reason, no purpose, nothing beyond where I was.  I only had another miserable day on the street, in the elements, cold, sick, hungry, filthy, beaten in more ways than one, full of heartache, resentment, jealousy, fear, self-pity, self-loathing and hate.  My only purpose each day was to figure out how I was going to drink myself into unconsciousness so that I couldn’t see or feel the hopelessness that each day brought.  I didn’t want to wake up to another day of hustling, begging, stealing, cheating and doing what I had to do to stay alive, all of which were pitiful and incomprehensible demoralization.  I didn’t believe in God anymore — I knew that the All Mighty, All Powerful, All Merciful God that I had been taught about in Sunday School would not let me, ME, live out there like a wild animal!  I had lost all hope, and with that, I had lost the will to live.  I didn’t care anymore if I lived or died.

Yet somehow, unbeknownst to me, God WAS there.  I was just too covered up with my own “stuff” (heartache, self-pity, hate) and too busy trying to blot out that stuff to see Him. In the process, I had blotted Him out, too.  I did not see that when my body finally screamed out for food that food was there.  I did not see that the people I despised and hated, fought and scratched with, and told them I was BETTER THAN THEM were the very angels that God had sent to protect me.  I did not see that the porch that I slept UNDER (because I would get arrested for trespassing if I slept ON) was His shelter.  I did not see how much worse it could have been had my drug of choice been anything other than alcohol.  I did not see that each day that I woke up breathing was another day closer to the day He would strike … the day I would be ready; when all of the things that had blocked me from following His lead in the past were brought into submission.  The entitlement, the pride, the judgment, the dishonesty, the unwillingness to be obedient to His will for ME, for MY life, had to be surrendered so that I might not only obtain sobriety but also be effective in His world.

Now, let me rest on this for a second before I move on:  I found out later that His will for me was not simply for me to quit drinking.  It was for me to DO THE THINGS that He put before me each and every day, one day at a time, and that HE WOULD EQUIP ME with the tools to quit drinking!  He would EMPOWER ME.

Note: I know these things now.  I did not know them then.  Hindsight is better than foresight but I am hoping that those of you who are listening will not be as hardheaded as me!

Moving on …

After wandering aimlessly IN THE WILDERNESS for 18 months, a series of events that only a God could have brought together led me and my friend, Jerry, from Galveston to Houston.  The street was hard and mean in Houston.  No beach, no everyone-knows-each other-and-watches-each-other’s-backs, no First Presbyterian Church serving breakfast fit for a king on Saturday mornings.  As a matter of fact, all clothing and food supplies had been sent to Galveston to aid those still suffering from Hurricane Ike which had ravaged the island just six months before.  The City is much harder, walking distances much further, people more desperate, dangerous and demanding.  I couldn’t take it.  I couldn’t survive anymore.  It was too hard.  So I just laid down on the concrete underneath the Sabo Road overpass to die.  I didn’t panhandle anymore, I didn’t beg anymore, I didn’t fight anymore.  I laid down to die.

According to Jerry, I didn’t move from there for about two weeks, except to sit up long enough to drink myself back to sleep.  I might have eaten a bite or two.  I maybe even stumbled across the feeder road now and then to use the facilities at Jack In The Box, maybe not.  I don’t know.  I was in a blackout.  I had only one lucid moment during that entire time that I remember well, so well that it feels like yesterday.  It was night and I was alone in the dark.  I was lying on my left side and in my fear, whether of death or of continuing to live, I thought of my children and, at that moment, they became my WHY.  I didn’t care enough about myself to pray for my life but I cared enough about THEM to do just that.  I turned onto my back and hearing the endless roar of the traffic overhead, I spoke out loud to God where He could hear me and I could hear myself.  I spoke very precisely, almost demandingly and with my arm outstretched toward Heaven, I cried, “God, I know that You are up there.  I have been taught that all my life.  Now, I need Your help.  Now!  Because I’m going to die out here, Lord, and there are two little boys in Sugar Land that need a mother.”  Just like that, just exactly like that, and then it was done.  Amen and Amen.

I don’t know how much time passed between that prayer and being gently shaken awake by Tut: an hour, a day, two days.  But alone again in the night in the exact same spot, I felt a nudge and I heard a voice saying, “Gay, get up and get in the truck.  We’re going home.”  I didn’t hesitate.  I didn’t look around to see who I might take with me.  I didn’t look around to see who might stop me.  I didn’t even look around to see who it was.  I simply got up off the concrete and walked to the truck, one foot in front of the other, each step closer and closer, remembering the prayer because it was the ONLY thing I could remember about the weeks prior, knowing with each step that God – that God — that’s all I knew, without a shred of doubt, — that God had heard my cry and had moved Heaven and Earth to save me!  I became acutely aware in those miracle moments of the size and depth of the Love of God for a sinner like me.  As I settled into the warm, soft, leather seat of the white Chevy Suburban that I had ridden in so many times and looked over to confirm that the man was indeed Tut, I was struck with an awe that I can’t possibly describe.  That awe multiplied as we pulled away and I saw the bridge that I had tried to die under get smaller and smaller in the rearview mirror.  It was over.


It was OVER.


It was OVER.


My heart is pounding now as I bang this keyboard and I feel an urgency to cry my eyes out in more gratitude than I know how to express.  In my mumbling and fumbling to find the words to describe those moments, I think of the words to a song by Francesca Battistelli.  It goes like this:

Don’t know how it is You looked at me
And saw the person that I could be.
Awakening my heart
Breaking through the dark
Suddenly Your grace
Like sunlight burning at midnight
Making my life something so beautiful, beautiful.
Mercy reaching to save me
All that I need
You are so beautiful, beautiful.


Gregg Taylor, my pastor and my sweet, sweet friend, also says that God never brings an end without offering a new beginning. I didn’t know HOW I was going to begin the climb out of hell.  I just knew that I was going to begin.  I was never the same after that night.
I have come undone.
But I have just begun
Changing by Your grace.
Like sunlight burning at midnight
Making my life something so beautiful, beautiful.
Mercy reaching to save me
All that I need
You are so beautiful, beautiful.


Praise Jesus, Love of my life.


471 Responses to “My Sister Gay’s Fourth Installment: “Like Sunlight Burning at Midnight””

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  1. 301
    Grateful says:

    Dearest Gay,

    Yes, Gay you are making a huge difference! I am awestruck by your story; beyond that to the hope God will intervene again and again for our siestas. I want to be in line for that move.

    Yesterday, my sister told me she felt I was losing hope and in despair. My hope is Christ, but it has been years with no break through.

    Anger, self-centeredness, and stubbornness seem to be the drug of choice for the men of my family. This has led to estrangements; I have grandchildren I have not been allowed to see. A husband who can be kind and another time rage and lash out.

    Gay, you made a statement I am holding on to, “…the day I would be ready, when all the things that blocked me from following His lead in the past were brought into His submission.” Hasten that day with my family, dear Lord.

    Oh,Gay,I am so very thankful you love God and love us enough to tell your story. I wonder if God will lead you and Tut to write a book telling your story.

    With love,
    A Siesta

  2. 302
    Kelei Liggett says:

    sweet day in our neighborhood! You are awesome because you scare the devil himself with the power and knowledge God has given! Keep on keeping on sister and remember to reach your hand out to show others the way to FREEDOM iN CHRIST! I LOVE YA!

  3. 303
    Carrie says:

    can’t wait to read the next installment!

  4. 304
    Fran says:

    Sweet, precious Gay….
    I obviously do not know the twists and turns of this story and I’m just sitting here with my mouth wide open…this was not what I expected! “It was over” just about did me in…sweet Jesus alone. I can’t wait see this next phase of the journey! I am SO thankful for your honesty. I am passing each installment on because I know how much you are ministering to people and providing HOPE!!

    You are so loved and admired around here. Jesus is everything. He truly is.

  5. 305
    Margie Pendergraft says:

    Gay, You are proof of The Living God and how he is there for everyone if we will just believe and let him take control of our life. God is God and we are not! Beth, now I know why you want to just cry and praise God continually for what you have seen God do in Gay’s life. Thank you for letting her share. I pray that many people’s lives will be changed after Gay’s testimony on here!
    God Bless,

  6. 306
    Sharron Cosby says:

    What a powerful testimony of God’s grace and mercy. I attended a Narcotics Anonymous meeting tonight and watched my son receive his two-year medallion. Thank you Lord for redemption and restoration.

  7. 307
    karen harris says:

    Oh my goodness, I’ve just read the fourth installment. Its a love story in more than one way. I can’t believe that your husband found you and took you away from the streets. I love that you could think about your children and pray for them despite your circumstances. As a mother of three teenage boys, I’m praying constantly. Thank you sooooo much for sharing your story. You have such a gift for writing (runs in the family) I hope that you write a book.

  8. 308
    Paulette Mays says:

    Your story is blessing my socks off!
    My husband who doesn’t like to read, couldn’t
    put the pages down. We can’t wait to read more.

    When your story is complete, we are gonna put it in
    the hands of our 27 yr old son and believe God to infuse hope.

    Thank you for allowing God to use your brokeness to bring
    hope to the hurting.

    Love ya

  9. 309
    Amber says:

    I am so thankful for you sharing this story as I am living mine. I am pregnant…not married…cheated on my boyfriend that I thought I would marry…

    I feel like God is tired of me messing up…that I am on my own now…I want to think that isn’t true but that hasn’t made it’s way to my heart and I am unable to see the WHY or HOW…

    I do want to give up but the life inside me won’t let me…

    • 309.1
      Redeemed says:

      Your post caught my attention and I just want to say “I’ve been there.”
      Don’t give up. DON’T GIVE UP. You’re not on your own – that is a big fat lie the enemy is trying to get you to fall for.
      Jesus came to save the sin-sick people like us. We are the very ones He is seeking! I’m on the other side of all of it now (and there really is an “other side”)….don’t give up.

      • Amber says:

        Thank you…I am holding on to the hope that the other side is better than this side…God has been so good to me and I am mourning the divide I created between He and I by sinning…looking forward to seeing His face one day…it is all that keeps me going.

        THanks for your words of encouragement.


        • teresa says:

          Have you ever had the oppertunity to read King Davids story in the Bible? He murdered his mistresses husband, who mind you would do anything for King David. Then thought he got away with it for a yr. Until a prophet came and reminded him of his naughtiness. Or maybe how Abraham lied about his wife and also took his wife’s advice about sleeping with her maid servant. Or maybe the story of the harlot that hid the men that came to check out the land God told them to check out in the time of Joshua. i can go on and on hunny. Praise God He is really really not like us in the way of holding unforgiveness or a vengeful grudge. He really forgives, He really loves, He really wants us to know this. I have prayed for you today!

    • 309.2
      Trinna says:


      The Lord will never give up on you! He does not grow tired like we do.

      “for he knows how we are formed,
      he remembers that we are dust.” Psalm 103:14

      You are loved!

  10. 310
  11. 311
    Kathy says:

    WOW my dear Sister in Christ- not sure there are words to respond to your miracle and the dynamite power of God pouring through your writing

    God Bless You and yours- you assure us that we have a role to play in this drama of life- we get lost in so many different ways- you give us hope that our God is there and never gives up on us

  12. 312
    Audrey Wiggins says:

    Thanks so much for sharing your story, Gay. I read all 4 installments today and needed to hear this.

    My husband’s family has a story kind of like this. His brother just got out of prison in Alaska a year ago for making and distributing meth and growing and selling marijuana. His wife left him because of all of this and they were divorced for about 10 years. She got clean from marijuana and alcohol about a year and a half ago and called me to tell me about it. They are back together now and doing well.

    My husband and I are raising our granddaughter because both of her parents have substance abuse problems. They never got married. My daughter is an alcoholic and my granddaughter’s dad has a drug and alcohol problem. Sometimes they don’t see their daughter for months and it’s really hard for me because she asks where they are and I don’t know how to explain it to her yet. She is 4. It is true that you can’t do anything for someone until they are ready to help themselves. We have accepted my granddaughter Melanie’s dad like part of the family and tried to love him when we have the opportunity, and our daughter. It is hard when they hate themselves so much. I pray for them all the time, and am trying to trust God that when the time is right, they will repent. I have shared God’s word with Melanie’s dad when I have the opportunity. No one in his family is a Christian. Sometimes this situation is very difficult and I need encouragement.

    • 312.1
      teresa says:

      I just read your story and wanted to respond with a big thank you! Thank you for taking care of this little child! For stepping up!

  13. 313
    Terry says:

    Our God is an AWESOME GOD!!! Thank you, Gay, for sharing your account of His AMAZING GRACE! What an awesome love story. As others have expressed, you are a gifted communicator and I am certain God is using your testimony for the good of others and for His glory. I am thankful to have the opportunity to meet you and hear your & Jesus’ story through Beth’s blog.
    Our hope is in You, Lord!!!

  14. 314
    Pam Houston says:

    Dearest and most beautiful Gay…I am breathless and awe-struck at this reading, this most intimate telling of your moment of deliverance. It was your husband who came, found you and rescued you out of the darkness and into the light. Your man, your mate, your mystery. Your heavenly bridegroom Jesus had to lead him to you. Oh Gay, dearest…you must get your story written in book form. We have a precious niece who even now at this moment is on the streets, mother of 3 darling children, and in the throes of drug addiction…37 years old. She’s blown through countless treatment programs and yet has not come to her moment of deliverance. Her husband caught her using again, and out of the house she went! Hope springs anew in my heart in the telling of your miraculous deliverance…how love and grace and mercy found a way for you! “Precious LORD we ask again for Raquel, for her deliverance and restoration. Thank you for Gay’s story and the hope she has brought today. The testimony of Your miracle working grace and power is surely the spirit of prophecy!” Amen!

  15. 315

    The beauty of God over your life makes me cry, Gay. He is your Deliverer…He really is our Hope, isn’t He? He is so Good to us…to you. You had so many praying for you, and He heard every prayer. He heard your prayer too…I am so glad you are telling us your story…

  16. 316
    Jennifer says:

    Thank you for sharing your story, Gay!

  17. 317
    Celeste Monds says:

    This touched my heart and I have cried and cried after reading this. I have cried out to the Lord for a change in my life as well. Thank you for sharing the raw details of your deliverance experience. Jesus IS the LOVE of OUR Life!!!!! YOU are so precious Gay….I thank the Lord for ALL you have shared.

  18. 318
    Sadee says:

    Thank you, thank you, thank you for sharing your story of amazing grace….to God be the GLORY.

  19. 319
    Connie says:


    I want to know how it feels to have shame and insecurity falling off??!! You are so inspiring.. You are leading the way with genuine humility and divine strength. I am watching and receiving so much COURAGE through your story. You are in my prayers often. Love, Connie

  20. 320
    Bridget Boyd says:

    Thank you so much for sharing your story Gay. I’ve cried my eyes out reading it because I can relate to so much of your story. I believe God has brought you into my life and given me the COURAGE to start my new journey in life. He is Amazing! Again, thank you and I look forward to meeting you tonight. God Bless You

  21. 321
    katie b says:

    thankyou Gay, thank you. and thank you Jesus for leading me to this story.

  22. 322
    lindsey says:

    Gay, You are a COURAGEOUS woman!! God has obviously worked in a mighty way in your life, and mine and all I can think to say is: Praise HIM!!!

    Thank you for sharing your story. It has meant the world to me, to read it, & see God’s redemption and grace in your story. I want to share it with everyone I know. You have been on my mind and in my prayers.

    Thank you for your willingness to write it down so beautifully.

  23. 323
    Mary Watkins says:

    Thank you, Gay!

    “1 Lord, you have been our dwelling place
    throughout all generations.
    2 Before the mountains were born
    or you brought forth the earth and the world,
    from everlasting to everlasting you are God.”

    Psalm 90:1-2
    There is no greater peace than knowing we can dwell in the One who made us….the One who loves us.

  24. 324
    Hannah Lee says:

    I am just speechless- in awe of the bravery and transparency you have so wonderfully portrayed so that other people hurting out there can see His grace through your story.

    Thanks you so very much.

  25. 325
    liz says:


    Thank you so much for being so real. I had tears stinging my eyes as I read your story. What an amazing God we serve!!! Again, thank you so much for sharing only what God can do!

  26. 326
    kim n. says:

    wow. speechlessly in awe of a God that loves like that.

  27. 327
    sue ellis says:

    Dear Gay, thanks for opening your heart and soul to me and giving me hope for my nephew Chad and my grandson Todd who desperatly need Jesus and deliverance from drugs and alcohol…. thank you for your courage and transparency….Please pray for them…. thank you

  28. 328
    Pat W says:

    “like sunlight burning at midnight” is my jesus’s love for me, that not even the night can be dark when god is looking over me and loving me with a blue sky and sunshine, that even though the dark appears, the blue sky and sunshine of god’s love for me, Is Still There. 🙂

  29. 329
    dmstlcngc says:

    Gay…..I absolutely am enthralled with your posts and SO very, VERY thankful to reading posts about LIVING IN THE SOLUTION with God! I too am an alcoholic….you and I, we share just about the exact amount of days, nights and weekends…lol. I too grew up in church, I too knew right from “wrong”…..drinking was, for me, something that crept in and replaced my love for God, my love for myself, for my family and on and on as we know it can go. I loved it unconditionally, because even as it shredded my life to the very core I always welcomed it back with open arms! I am so very humbled and grateful to my Lord and Savior for this second chance I have been given on this Earth. I know He brought me to the rooms along with my Mother’s never dying prayers….I was prayed into those rooms and the day those prayers hit full force is the day I hit my bottom and I heard it as clear as I ever have….I was told….and I listened. I love life, I cherish life and I thank God for the beauty of this sober life! I LOVE to live in recovery….don’t misunderstand me….I don’t want to forget where I have been but oh the beautiful Father who has taken my memories and redeemed them so that I may serve Him here with what I have learned! As you typed the words to that song another one came to my mind that lately has been my praise to God….

    When the stars came crashing down in tiny pieces all around I was all alone down here trapped beneath the atmosphere then I felt somebody call my name, I spun around and I caught a flame and gave into a God I didn’t know….and now everything is falling into place…a brand new life is calling and I owe it all to Grace…..SO much brighter living in your world Savior what you did for me….you gave me something I want everyone to see…when we struggle and it all goes wrong only YOU can make it right so I say….I’m learning to be the Light….

    Thank you Gay….I will read on…I am your sister on many levels…first through Christ then through AA….thank you for sharing!! : )

  30. 330
    tone tone says:

    Wow weeee, skizzie! I remember the day “it was over” like it was yesterday. It was a Hallelujah moment then, and has continued in God’s most glorious ways for another 1,024+ days. My thanks to both beth and you for “putting it out there” … allowing Jesus’ light to expose the darkness for what it is. We are not defined by our past. Instead, we are defined ultimately by how we respond to God’s grace. Let us grow even more in awe of Him and how He has provided us with the righteousness of Christ and the power of the Holy Spirit. I love you madly!

    • 330.1
      dmstlcngc says:

      Tone Tone…..thank you, BEAUTIFULLY said….keep walking in God’s Grace One Day At a Time! With Love…..

  31. 331
    Alisha says:

    I know you wrote this days ago and I did comment already, but I can’t get this out of my mind. I just keep invisioning my version of who you are and you laying under that overpass and Tut coming to get you. It’s like when you watch a movie that really gets to you and you can’t get it out of your mind. Your testimony is so powerful in so many ways. The underlying message of hope is so intense. Thank you again for sharing your life with us!!!!!

  32. 332
    cindy says:

    Beth, I am using my son-in-laws computer because I wanted you to know how much the studies have meant to me!!!!!! I believe in my heart you have helped develope my LOVE of God’s word more then you will ever know, So I write because of that hatefull thing I read about you daring to teach men. I was so upset I jumped to comfort my sister in Christ who was there for me. Thank you!!!!!! cindy

  33. 333

    What a Savior! The way He showed His love to you has made me love Him even more.

    Thank you for sharing your story of hope. I’m posting a link to this post (this treasure) on my blog.


  34. 334
    lavonda says:

    Oh Gay! I was sitting on the edge of my chair –literally– when you ended this installment. I cannot wait for your next one.
    It’s so easy to see how big our God is through your words.

  35. 335
    Cindy says:

    Gay, after reading your story again, the thought struck me that these are God’s miracles on earth. This is not only how he chose to save you, and me (I have a similar story), this is how others see hope for themselves as well. Look at all the women you are touching right now. Who knows what lives will change because God heard you, saved you and now you are spreading the news. God blows me away. I am so happy for you. I bet you wake up with a smile on your face every day, like I do. I’m alive. I have a beautiful life because He heard me and saved me. Amazing.

  36. 336
    Delinda says:

    Whoa…whoa….whoa…I am riveted by this installment. You, Lord are so for REAL!!!! And Tut, so obedient. I want to hear what God did to get Tut to agree. Woowzers…can we get the WHOLE MEGILLAH?!

  37. 337
    Kim Vest says:

    Dear Miss Gayle,
    At Christmas time, my small group at church put together care packages that were to give to the homeless. I was excited for the challenge, but had no idea how this would begin to penetrate my heart in so many ways. I work in the city of St. Louis and when I get off of Broadway and enter into the hustle and bustle of the city, the homeless line the streets. Here it was, the first week of January and I have my care packages ready to give out to the homeless. This has definitely been a population that I have had at a distance because no one close to me has ever been that close to the streets, close, but not that close. So I rolled down the window, offer the package and behold one of the sweetest voices I have ever heard said “God bless you maam.” What? What? A lady is on the streets….my heart wasn’t quite sure what to do with this. Sadly to say, when thinking of a homeless person, my thoughts only lingered to the raggedy, disheveled drunk who of course in my mind was a man. My heart ached for this beauty. What happened? That is all I kept asking myself. What happened? So after work, I looked for her again. She was no where to be found. Then later on in the week, I got to see her again. Again the sweet voice, the piercings, the beauty standing there asking me for something to help get her through her day, her hell. God let that sit on me. He let her weigh me down. He let me think of her for days and longed to see her again. I haven’t seen her in weeks.
    But since that time I have read your blog entries…….
    The Lord let them sit on me.
    He let me get weighed down by them. By you. By your story. By your redemption.
    So yesterday, I got off of Broadway. Stopped at the light. Here comes another woman. Another beauty. I rolled down my window, gave her the care package and I asked her her name. WHOA, I ASKED HER HER NAME! This is kindof a big deal to me because of all the movie scenes of homeless being scary and such. She was not scary. Her name was Crystal. Her eyes were so big she could barely close them. She had nice shoes on, designer bag, a great coat, but she was on the side of Broadway panhandling.
    I am telling you this because I want to tell you that God is using your story to weigh me down, to help penetrate this ache He has in His heart for the homeless. Nothing gives me quite the same joy as handing the hurting a care package filled with at the very least daily bread, or daily granola bar.
    Thank you for sharing your redemption with us. I believe that if you hadn’t I would be missing something major in my life right now. Something that God wants me to be grow in and maybe even serve in.
    Crystal was a beauty to me yesterday because I knew she might have a story like you. And if God would use my hand in anyway to pick them up off the cold concrete surface( like Tut) they call home, I would be thrilled til the end of my days.
    Thank you for your vulnerability. You made my heart beat deeper for the homeless and for the hurting. It has been a surprising awakening.
    Love to you, Ms. Gayle. I am squeezing your neck and I certainly will when we sing at the foot of the throne. Isn’t that going to be the best day ever! We are going to giggle til our bellies hurt, which probably won’t hurt because we are in heaven:)))))))))))

  38. 338
    fuzzytop says:


    Your story is amazing! Only God could orchestrate all these things and bring such redemption. You are blessing us all by sharing.

    Much love,

  39. 339
    Janet from FL says:

    WOW!!! Gay that is amazing! It shows how powerful prayer is. It shows how loving God is.
    Thank you, Gay for sharing this part of your life with us.

  40. 340

    Gay and Beth,

    I just called your LPM office and recieved permission to print off the 4 posts from Gay. THANK YOU SO MUCH!!!!!

    I will be bringing them on Thursday night to 20 AMAZING women here in Georgia who are smack dab in the middle of a one year recovery program.

    It is my privlidge and honor to serve them dinner monthly, and give a small encouraging word of scripture. They are currently reading the book “Breaking Free” by you Beth! And now they will be also reading this blog posting series by Gay!

    Part of the rules in the recovery house is they may not get on line, so THANK YOU for allowing me to print this. God is so good…

    Blessings to you both,
    aka @the4leegirls

  41. 341
    Sharon says:

    Dear Gay, Thank you so much for making yourself so transparent and vulnerable by sharing your story! You share your sister’s gift with words…you MUST write a book one day!!

    I am the child of an alcoholic, and have several alcoholics on both sides of my family. I am weeping seeing what the Lord has saved me from! At a very young age, I decided I’d better not touch alcohol, and am so grateful not only for His grace to save me, but His grace to keep me!!

    I can’t wait for next installment!

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    A Siesta says:

    I am an alcoholic that has been struggling with this DEMON for almost fifteen years. Fifteen years of hard drinking myself into oblivion — and yet seemingly keeping an outher demeanor of being “normal”. I am conscious that I am rebelling against God, but I seem to be totally unable or unwilling to stop this. So deep has my depression been as of late, that for the past few months I have been at a point wherein I do not care anymore if I live or die……….and then I read your post. It hit me SO hard, SO hard, it physically hurt. I am crying river upon river of tears right now because I see that so much of your struggle against this demon reflects my story.. I have a husband who loves me dearly, children that depend on me…. they are my why… but oh, please Help me LORD to overcome this addiction NOW!!!!!!! ….

    Gay, I am grateful to God for you, because through you He is giving me another lifeline. I think I’m going to hold on to it, this time. Thank you, Gay. Thank you, Beth. and Thank you, all Siestas.

  43. 343
    teresa says:

    Whoohoo…clapping….cheering…tut!! are you kidding! i am in the middle of this novel(book) i am waiting with held breath and excitement to hear more! Tut!! i didn’t see that comming! God! But God! Thank you Thank YOU Gay! Wow!

  44. 344
    Cindy says:

    Dear Sweet Gay,

    Thank you so much for sharing, especially this part four, about finding your why. I have a young adult daughter who is in the midst of alcohol and drugs and many days I am just at my end with her. But your story pierced my heart and I could hear her pain in your words. I can now pray “Lord, help her find her why”. I heard in your words the struggles trying again and again and I see her. I see her “start over” again and again and again. Your words help me to have compassion, not to enable, but to not give up. Thank you!

  45. 345

    Oh Gay, thank you for you encouraging comment on your last post. This post also touched my heart. I remember the days when I wondered where God was in my past, where I gave up. At the age of eight I hid a can of Draino in case things got too tough. I’m glad I didn’t take that Draino and I’m so glad you sat up and lived – God has a wonderful plan for your life – I just know it. You are already touching lives with your testimony. What an encouragement to know that God has helped you climb out of the mire and is now able to use what has been to help others. I am grateful that nothing is wasted with God, he can use our messes to bless others. And yes, He doesn’t just save us for Himself, but what He does is give us purpose and a plan for the Kingdom. I am so honored to know you through this site. Thanks for sharing your heart and testimony.

  46. 346
    Becky says:

    Thank you Gay for sharing your testimony! Amazing what God can and will do! My favorite song on the radio right now reminds me of your story; Overcome by Jeremy Camp
    There is a verse in the song that says “We will overcome; by the Blood of the Lamb and the word of our testimony; everyone; Overcome”! Praise Jesus for His redeeming Blood!!

  47. 347
    Heather says:

    Gay… thank you. Your words give this stay at home mom of 4 hope that I will one day see the same freedom for my husband who is battling both drugs and alcohol. By the grace of God alone I anxiosly wait rock bottom, so that we can together climb out of hell and continue in victory our 15 years of marriage. May God continue to bless you and be with greatly

    -with appreciation


  48. 348
    Heather says:

    Gay… thank you. Your words give this stay at home mom of 4 hope that I will one day see the same freedom for my husband who is battling both drugs and alcohol. By the grace of God alone I anxiously wait rock bottom, so that we can together climb out of hell and continue in victory our 15 years of marriage. May God continue to bless you and be with you greatly

    -with appreciation


  49. 349
    Kim Feth says:

    Wow! Gay you write so beautifully. Thank you for ministering to those of us in this blog.
    Kim Feth
    Apex, NC

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    Stacie says:

    What a beautiful testimony!

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