Hey, Sweet things!
It’s Friday afternoon before a holiday weekend and I’ve had a really full but good day. Not that great a week, really, but a mighty good day. God woke me up with a release this morning from something that has been pressing on my heart. I just sort of heard a “Stop it” from God so I decided to stop it. Anyway, I thought I’d end the work week up visiting with you guys a bit before we lock this place up for three days. I will probably say hi before the weekend is over but I’ll have to see how the unplanned festivities go. For now, it is pouring a deluge in South Texas so whatever we’re doing, it is decidedly not out doors. No telling what my two dogs have done to my house while I’ve been at work today. (Star, my Border Collie, has been keeping Geli, Keith’s bird dog, company lately when the really hot weather prevents Keith from taking her with him in his truck. I can’t bring both of them to work without mass pandemonium.)
Before I head to another topic, I want to tell you that you really knocked it out on that last post and I’m so proud of you. Way to tell a girl how she can know God loves her. I watched some real live ministry take place on that last post (and so many others before it). I believe in the ministry that takes place here. I couldn’t have fathomed it in advance but our gracious God has lurked here and so many other places on the web and I am so much the better off for it. You know, you guys are the only reason I’ve never done the Facebook thing. I’ve always wanted to. Are you kidding? What sanguine wouldn’t? But I thought I’d end up getting so distracted by it that I’d lose my vision here. I’m so blessed to be a part of you and, for now, you are one of my biggest serving priorities.
And that’s the reason why I need to stop and say something in protection of this precious, hardworking, sincere and tenderhearted community. We exist to encourage one another to know Jesus Christ as personal Savior and to follow hard after Him. We love big doses of healthy, good, clean fun. We love to laugh. We don’t mind having a good hard cry together. BUT, we can’t consistently be a ton more than that. We can’t replace face-to-face families to many people and certainly don’t exist to take the place of our local churches. Few of us are confused about that. Here’s why I’m bringing all this up. I don’t want you to start getting worn out here or start feeling like there’s such a heavy weight of responsibility that you can’t even bear to log in. I don’t want you feeling guilty or condemned because you couldn’t read every single person’s comment. None of us can. None of us can be anybody’s everything. Let me say that again:
None of us can be anybody’s everything.
To attempt it is to play Christ. To demand it is to expect somebody else play Christ. Minister here freely and freely feel ministered to. Freely give, freely receive, the Scriptures would tell us. But do not let this place become a burden or a form of bondage to you. I just can’t have that. I speak for most of us when I say that what I write here on these posts is to every single one of you, new and old. You do the same when you write general responses. When you or I get a chance to shout something out to someone in a comment, it is never because we found her worthier than anybody else. I don’t have favorites on here. I really don’t as much as we sometimes tease. You don’t either. I also don’t get to read every single comment. Neither does Melissa or Amanda. Neither do most of you. Please know that this community exists to bring you encouragement. Not to add to your insufferably long list of things to do nor, worse yet, to add to a feeling of insignificance. Lord, forbid it. All of you are so loved and welcomed here. I would be heartsick for anybody to get on this blog that was formed to build you up and feel torn down.
By all means, please let your Siestas know when you legitimately need prayer and edification or just a big fat hug. Ask your questions! (I LOVED Erica’s question!) Seek some solid insight! Get together on the side. That’s what this place is for. But I say this to anyone with an intense emotional issue (Believe me, I’ve been there and have sought sound Godly counsel and highly recommend it): please don’t demand more (and more and more) from this sincere community than most women on here can give. Please be careful not take advantage of my girls here in Siestaville. They’ll bend over backwards for you. Don’t put more on them than they can handle or expect of them what they can’t deliver. It is my responsibility to be protective of this community. With all my heart I pray that this will remain one of the very few places in many of our lives where we don’t have to feel guilty and like we’re not enough for people. Please, not here. I say that with love. And if your comments get posted on these entries, you’re probably not who I’m talking about. Let me say frankly that there is a reason why we moderate comments.
Ladies, as you minister on your own blogs and as you participate here, please keep in mind that people can play you. One way you’ll know is if they just keep on and on with it and no answer and no encouragement ever suffices. Sometimes you can just feel it in your gut. That doesn’t mean they don’t need love and prayer and attention. It just means you don’t need to get caught up in a loop. We aren’t meant to take the place of professional counselors.
I love you guys so much. God has placed the stewardship of this community in my hands. I’m the Mama here. And sometimes mamas have to lay some boundaries. This is for your protection.
OK, some of you may not be able to get past that but for those of you who can, this is the real reason why I got on here today. I don’t know why but I’ve been thinking a lot about my grandmother lately. Maybe it’s because I’m a grandmother now and I’ve seen some life come full circle. Whatever the reason, she’s been in my thoughts more than usual recently. My grandmother was widowed when my mom was just fourteen. Four years later, Mom met my Dad and fooled around and eloped with him. When they got back to town, my mother’s mom got revenge I suppose by moving right in with them. She didn’t move out until her mansion was ready in Heaven. I was sixteen years old at the time. Translation? She lived with my siblings and me all our young lives. And, boy, was she a character.
Her name was Minnie Ola Rountree. With a smirk on my face, 30 years ago I suggested to Keith that we name our first daughter after her but he didn’t go for it. Minnie Moore. Don’t you think that would have been darling? Anyway, to us she was “Nanny.” (Not our first child. My maternal grandmother.) She was born before the turn of the 20th Century and lived long enough to ride a horse-driven carriage to town and watch a man walk on the moon. She believed until the day she died that we had a party line (you young Siestas don’t even know what that is. It’s not direct dial to Party City) and would stand over us when we talked on the phone for more than five minutes and say, “Get off that phone! Someone’s probably needin’ an ambu-lance with you on there chewing the fat!”
There were eight of us in all and by the time Dad would let us get two phones in the house (on the same number, of course), Nanny decided if she couldn’t beat us, she’d join us. We’d be on one phone with our boyfriends and she’d be on the other just listening in. You’d walk through the kitchen and there she’d be, sipping on her perked coffee, tuning in like it was her business. Oh, man, she dearly loved gossip. Watched her “stories” on the black and white from noon til 3:00 and only President Kennedy better interrupt her and, even then, it better be good.
She’d been raised in the country and mostly by her big sister. Her second parent was cold in the grave before she was out of grade school. Once a tall, educated man happened through those parts and took a liking to her and married her before she could think better of it. I guess she loved him more than anything in her entire life. His name was Micajah Rountree. They had seven children together. And buried three of them. Under two and a half years-old. Can you even comprehend it? She told me once that every woman she knew with a large family had gone through the terrible agony of at least one loss. They couldn’t have imagined medical care like we have today. In the cemetery where she is buried, she is one of many moms laid to rest near the graves of infants. It’s almost too much to bear to see.
But they had many good times together, too. My grandfather was quite the catch, becoming a mighty fine lawyer and serving in State government. He probably would have been a man of means if not for the Great Depression. Family legends made him bigger than life to me and, even though I never knew him, I set out to be just like him, majoring in political science and minoring in English. God ended up having other plans but not before the man’s legacy had left his mark. I am told he never saw his left palm for a book in his hand. My mom was just like him. I am just like her. Amanda and Melissa are just like me. We live to read. We are so amused that Annabeth can’t put a book down. Rountree blood has trickled down five generations.
My grandmother was a smart woman but her formal education did not quite match her man’s. We moved that woman out of the country but we never moved the country out of that woman. And we are so glad. She used sayings that my siblings and I still employ on a continual basis. When we moved all the way from Arkansas to Houston, Texas (I was 15), her world split wide open. She’d never been to a city you could call a melting pot. She’d say, “Don’t them ferners beat all!” Ferners = someone born in a different country. Of course, what Amanda and I love best about Houston is that it’s such a glad mix of ferners but that’s our taste. Nanny didn’t quite know what to do with such a big world. She never understood that they were just as American as she was.
My favorite thing she ever said – and she said it CONSTANTLY – was this: “Some folks, you just can’t learn ’em nothin’.” (Please use a long “a” sound on the “can’t.” It’s more like “cain’t.”)
I don’t want to be one of them folks that you can’t learn nothin. I want to keep learning as long as I live. Don’t you?
Now that I’ve talked on this long, I might as well tell you what’s kind of had me down this week. For the last several months, we’ve been working on the up-dated version of “A Heart Like His.” (Do not even talk to me about my hair in that video. Believe it or not, I did not do that hair. Another story for another time. Anyway, I happen to really love who fixed that hair so I’m going to keep my mouth shut.) I’ve enjoyed being back in the study of the life of David so much. Scripture doesn’t get any wilder or richer or more applicable than 1st and 2nd Samuel. What’s gotten to me over the last few weeks is not what I said in the original written version (17 years ago!). It’s what I didn’t say. Lord have mercy, I had just come out of one of the worst trials of my entire life. I cannot even express the pain I’d been through or the defeat that had threatened to engulf me. But try as you might, you could not find a single hint of it. (My Nanny would say, “Narry a hint.”)
“Woman,” I said to myself as I was recently reading through the original version and updating it, “Where on earth is your testimony about the grace of God over your pitiful, messed up life? Huh? Huh?” At one point, I read such a down-played version of some misery that I’d been in that I wrote out in the margin, “Rewrite, you big liar!”
It wasn’t really a lie. But it didn’t even begin to measure my true estate. As I’ve read over some of the early writings, I can still see a woman who wasn’t sure she could yet be herself. Thank God, the Scriptures speak loudly and clearly and they’re all we really need. But most of us could use a teacher who owns up to her own struggles and own defeats. Most of us need to know we’re in this together. Way back when I originally wrote “A Heart Like His,” I think I was too close to the fresh graces of God to truly recognize them. I hear a crescendo after that in studies like “To Live is Christ” but, not coincidentally, I don’t hear the full throttle, volume 10 testimony of what God had done for me until “Breaking Free.” There’s an obvious reason for that.
For some reason that missing element broke my heart yesterday. I’d teared up over it several times as I edited “A Heart Like His” but finally yesterday I just got up from my desk, went face down on the floor and bawled my eyes out before God. “I am so, so sorry.”
Praise His Name, He really does grow us up in knowledge and in grace. He is so patient. So merciful. But just in case some of you have only done one of the earliest unrevised Bible studies and didn’t hear it as clearly as you should have, hear me clearly today: GOD IS THE ONLY REASON WHY I CAN HOLD MY HEAD UP LONG ENOUGH TO DRAW A BREATH. ANYTHING IN MY LIFE OF VALUE IS FROM HIM ALONE. HE IS MY DECENCY. HE IS MY ONLY HONOR. WITHOUT HIM, I’M A TOTAL WRECK. I DO NOT DESERVE TO BE IN MINISTRY. I DID NOT EARN IT. ALL THAT I HAVE TO OFFER IS HIM.
He’s it. Plain and simple. Gorgeous and complex.
Some folks, you just cain’t learn ’em nothin.’ And I don’t want to be one of them. Lord, protect me from myself.
“But grow in the grace and knowledge of our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ. To Him be glory both now and forever! Amen.” 2 Peter 3:18
Dearest Siesta Mama. Thank you for reminding me that I cannot read every single comment. LOL. I mean, I knew that, but the other day I was feeling kind of sad that I could not get through each and every comment on the Siesta Summer Bible Study post, especially with a screen reader that so many times likes to tell me I’m somewhere on the page that I’m not. LOL. I am also just starting on my own the original A Heart Like his, so I agree with someone who said, don’t look at it as a heartbreak. Having done a few of the more recent studies in just under a year’s time, and then listening to the audio for A Heart Like His, I see how God has truly blessed you over the years and grown you in His Spirit. Oh to see Him continue to do that in your life and in the lives of your family, and those here in Siestaville! We love you Mama!
I have 10min before I go to church. I just had a new study idea Beth. “Fringe on a Pillow” dedicated to Keith, of course, based on people in the Bible who were “cut off” from God that became servants for Him. Their lives may have appeared hopeless but to God they had a purpose. As I was brushing my teeth to walk out the door, I thought of all that could be done with the fringe for God’s glory…hair on a doll for Annabeth, sewn for texture on a quilt, stuffed into another pillow (servants that serve without being seen) glued to a child’s picture as leaves on a tree…Just like us damaged but changed for God’s glory! Cut away by those we love (yes even Keith felt something for the fringe he noticed them); yet re-purposed for Good! So Siesta’s think of all the ways we can use the cut off fringe of our lives to glorify God what would He do with what is left of us? love, hippityhophappy Yanna
Yanna, that is SO cool! I laughed out loud remembering Beth’s picture of that fringe he cut off! I would have just died since I know fringe on a pillow costs extra! Right?? And then left it there instead of hiding it DEEP in the trash. But to your point exactly a very expensive cut for God and with reason and purpose and pain and sacrifice and on and on. I can look back in my life and surely He wants to cut every last piece of fringe that is on this pillow (me) until nothing is left but Imago Dei (His Image). I think He has His scissors ready since I too am an absolute wreck when left to myself! Great idea…I hope she uses your idea. It resonates with me for sure! I am going to quote you…love it! Hugs and Smiles!
Wow! I just love how you communicate Beth. God has used your studies to speak so much into my life – every single one of them that I have done (and that’s a bunch of them:) ) but posts like these esp. cut straight to my heart and speak such deep things that it brings me to tears. I always look back on things I might have written or done in the past and wonder how in the world God might have used something so dumb or shallow or … But let me tell you, I have done one single one of your studies where I didn’t close it up changed!!!
We have been on the road for the last 3 weeks so I have missed the summer sign up for Bible Study and contemplating if I should jump in late or just be happy doing “Revelation” with a group at my church by one of my fav. Bible Teachers with the funny initials BM. I am sure it will offer plenty meatto chew on for the summer all on its own!
Have a blessed 4th! I love you so much!
oops 2 corrections in the last post – last line of 1st paragraph sh read I HAVEN”T done one single one of your studies where I haven’t ended up changed.
And meatto is Spanish for “meat to”
PS That is such a romantic picture of you and Keith. Ya’ll are a handsome couple indeed!!!!
oh Mama, I love you! and I miss my Nanny, “Flitter” is her favorite expression. God has done good to me and mine, praise to His name alone!
Dearest Siesta Mama!
I am blessed by your blog continuously. After reading today, I wanted to thank you for the ministry you have had through the years. What you have written and spoken since you began has touched my family. My grandmother heard you in Albuquerque while you were still speaking in smaller churches grew through your studies. The same was true of my mother-in-law before I knew her. My mother has lead and grown through your studies, helping her more than you would believe! You traveled to Kenya where I was serving and your message to the group at Nairobi Baptist touched me at a pivotal time in ministry as well as my friends in the group. In fact, my quiet time for the next three weeks was going back through the notes and scriptures you gave that day, I needed it so much! Then as I began to read your books, the Lord used them to help me “Break Free,” “Get Out of that Pit,” and so much more. I have seen friends experience healing through your studies. Please know that whatever you have done or written through the years, God has used. He has used it with generations! Thank you for following His lead.
Please remember those that are fighting for our freedoms this weekend. My cousin was serving in the Middle East…we got word he was in an accident on Thursday and got word Saturday he is in Heaven now.
This will be very challenging for the whole family…please keep these soldiers (and their families) in your prayers.
Thank you!
Oh, my gracious, CJ. I am so, so sorry. May Christ hold all of you so close. Thank you for the reminder.
We have a special place in our hearts for our military men & women and your cousin is no exception! Your family will be in our prayers-that you all feel His loving arms around you.
I am so sorry CJ… May God hold you and your family close at this time… May He bring you more comfort than you can understand… May you feel His presence and overwhelming love in this time of crisis…
CJ, I am so very sorry to read of the loss of your cousin. May you and your family feel the loving presence of our Savior, especially now. God bless you…
the two-point-three seconds we get to hug you and grab a photograph are just not enough honey. My heart needs some good sit-down time with you (probably not till heaven, but that is the beauty of eternity) so I can tell you how much your honesty and ministry means to me.
love you Beth. Have a wonderful long weekend.
Deirdre
AWESOME! AWESOME! ONLY HE IS AWESOME! Thank you Beth for sharing your stories. I can’t wait to meet your Grandmother!
Mama Beth
I wanted to tell you a little story I found this community probably the first year that you start it . But I have been away in a deep pit. But praise God I am on my way out. See I’m a pit jumper eight years ago I was in a pit that could had took my life my best friend bought a book to me praying Gods word. My most important lesson that My heavenly father gave me was. Don’t wait till you out of the sin to call me but I will met you in it.
This is very important for a pit dewillerlike me. I know that it is very hard for a pit jumper to listen to and allow God to mole you and because you listen it has helpped me so much to learn. I’m on my way to a god filled life. I thought today what if Beth , Kay and many other great people that has tought me didn’t listen to our heavenly father and stay in their pit. Who would had helpped me? What if there is someone that loves to jump from one pit to another that I could help but if I choose not allow God to show me the right path. My current pit my sister I have walked around in it for three years see I’m not just a pit jumper I’m a dweller. It (satan) had me questioning what I knew was the truth . I tried to find loop holes 🙂 . Blessed be the name of our lord I am on my way out. Anyway I said all this to say thank you for all that you do here and for listening to our heavenly father and for placing tools in my hands to grow. I’m so glad I am someone that can learn and I hope I will keep on learning for years to can
I know what it is to be a woman and not be sure if I can yet be myself. All too well. I’ve been too caught up in being someone I think others want me to be. I keep wondering what I would be like if I felt secure in being who I as made to be. I could just resonate with that part of your journey and hope you can also rejoice in how far you’ve come through Jesus!
Sweet Mama Beth … I know you are probably hearing this from everyone … but “A Heart Like His” was my very first Bible study of yours (right after Henry Blackaby’s “Experiencing God”)… I was only 28 … and whether you feel good about it or not … I fell right in love with Jesus because of you. I tell everyone I meet that you have such a contagious love for God … and it flowed right onto me. Yea! Praise God!! I will always love you so much for that very thing. At that time, I was experiencing infertility … wondering if I’d ever have a family … and Bible study changed my whole life! Falling in love with Jesus … true living/true life just comes together! Maybe not in the way you think, but in the way that you will be truly at peace and happy! And I have two beautiful daughters today through God’s beautiful plan of adoption. Thank you for helping me fall in love with Jesus.
You know I love you,
Shelli
I grew up across the street from my maternal grandmother in a small town with no traffic light (to this day). One of her fav quips was “If you don’t get up right when you wake up, you’ll lay there and get the “floogins”. I know what she meant & I agree (I’m an early to bed & early to rise gal), but to this day, I wonder about the meaning of the word “floogins” (pronounced like the flu). Was that, perchance, one of your granny’s words? I’m now 66 and one of my 2 daughters and her 2 preschoolers are sharing my home since her marriage is on the rocks. This is a challenging role for me, to say the least! I adore my dau. and my grands. Please pray for all of us in the middle of this life paradigm; I so want to be a granny my grands see Jesus in!! I pray one day they’ll speak glowingly of me, just as you do about yours, Beth.
Never heard of floogins but I love it and I’m sure I’ve had it! Regarding those precious grandchildren of yours, you know what? It would be really hard for me, too, if we all lived together. You are so dear here, Hilda. Hang in with us! May Jesus answer your deep desire.
Thank you for your post Mama Siesta!!! You say so much, so well and you really don’t use a lot of words…..
Loved your post on His grace!!! Your parting comments about Him being our “all in all” is how I feel so much of the time anymore. I often say to Him, why do you continue to let me live??? I only survive because YOU love me. I am so grateful that He continues to give me grace and mercy to start again when I have so obviously blown it. You Miss Beth have played an enormous part in how I feel and Love our Lord and Savior. Your studies have made me thirst after Him and Know Him!!! Thank you once again for your faithfulness. I have done AHLH twice and will look forward to doing it again….revised. His mercies are truly new every morning and I LOVE HIM WITH ALL MY HEART AND SOUL!!!!!!!!!
Blessings for a wonderful 4th of July….Thank you Father for your blessings on this great country!!!
Bible Bunny in NO MI
What a heart warming story about your nanny. The blog flooded back memories of my wonderful grandparents and I’m reminded what an important part of my life they were. That God gave them to me is nothing short of a miracle. From one set, God taught me about marriage and how difficult it is but also how much He wants the covenant to succeed. I’m so proud of them for being married almost 60 years. My other grandparents were divorced but from them, God taught me that bitterness can ruin lives but He forgives anyway. And, that no amount of money can make you happy or get into heaven. If you still have grandparents that are alive, thank God for them and spend as much time with them as you can. When they are gone so is a place in your heart that only memories and God can fill. Thank you God for Beth’s post and for blessing me with the best grandparents on earth.
Oh Beth, thank you so much for this timely message. I have had the most amazing journey the last few months with the Lord and have found freedom from bondage that I never dreamed possible. However, at some point in the last few weeks, I let my freedom become bondage. I have been going through surgical menopause for the last year without hormone replacement because my body can’t tolerate hormones. This last few weeks I have been a hormonal mess and it has been getting worse daily. I have been afraid to say anything to anyone lest it look like I’m not walking in freedom. I kept plugging along and stuffing my emotions and pretending everything was fine. I finally crashed on Thursday and have an appointment with my Dr on Tuesday to get an anti depressant to get me through the worst of this storm.
I have to confess that I’ve battled shame for the last 3 days because of where I am and because I am going to need medication to get back on track. Unfortunately, there are people in my life that seem to believe that depression is a choice and that I am choosing to remain unwell, (after my crash on Thursday I reached out to someone) and that has exacerbated the issue.
This post brought me to tears because I am not God. No one else is either and I there is no way for me to will my hormones into being in order. I don’t have to carry shame for getting help. That is not the heart of my Savior. Thank you again. I needed to read this today.
Those hormones are something else, Darling Thing. You are right to see your doctor.
Julie,
Please don’t be ashamed about needing a little extra help sometimes. After my son was born, I crashed about at about 6 months postpardom. Talk about stuffing your emotions. I was put on antt-depressants for a while and they really helped me out. THere is nothing wrong with acknowledging that there is a problem and seeking help. It doesn’t in any way mean that you are in freedom. Freedom is being able to get the help you need without feeling guilty!
God Bless You Julie, I pray you get through this time better on the other Side!
Sheri
[email protected]
feel free to write anytime!
Sweet Julie,
I too had a complete hysto at age 26. I totally understand the ups and downs you are facing. Our bodies are a wonder and can send us on a tail spin sometimes. If you cannot tolerate the hormones they are prescribing you might ask about bioidenticals. They are mixed specifically for you to work with your body and not against it. You are so right in seeking help with your Doctor and I will be praying for your heart and your mind. It was a lonely place to be when I thought I was doing it alone. You are not alone.
Thank you ladies so much for your kind and encouraging words. It has helped steady me and reassure me that this is indeed the right path for me. I will definitely as my Dr. about the bioidenticals. LOL Oh how naive I was when I thought that a hysterectomy would end the hormonal mood swings! I so appreciate your prayers. Honestly.
Beth-
Your blog is amazing as usual. You hit the nail on the head. Thank you for your honesty, love and encouragement. You are what we all need. Knowing there is someone who loves us and actually cares for us is amazing. Thank you.
You talked about your grandmother. Brought tears to my eyes. Today is independence day and all I can think of is my grandparents. They served in the war, they met in the war. after two weeks got married and would of been together in marriage for 55 years, but grandpa’s mansion was ready for him. He was called home. Now at 88 years old, she is living in a retirement home, hating every minute of it. She has dementia and it kills our family that she has it, BUT the only time she is my grandma in a sense is when she talks about grandpa. Love is amazing and this Independnce day I am reminded how much love I have around me. From your blogs, to my church family. i will never forget the conversation I had with a friend of mine before he went to Iraq with the National Guard. He looked at me and said “Sami, if anything happens to me, I did it for you, your family, my family, our country, and the Lord. Dont be mad if something happens, please?” I agreed. He left on a friday a couple days later my grandpa passed away and then July 12, 2003 Josh was killed.
Sorry for going into that story, but I have to say thank you to Jesus for laying down his life for me and You! for this country, for our sins. We are free because of him! Thank you to the Men and Woman who are serving, home, injured or lost their lives. Thank you to the families for giving up there loved one for our country.
I hope you and your family had a blessed day. Love you all!
After ‘hearing’ all of these Nanny stories, it did remind me of a funny. My Grandmother was brought to Texas from Germany as a child.She and my grandfather retired in the Hillcountry in Kerrville, and were wonderful simple folk who loved the Lord,but fairly private about it. They had a party line. She lived 15 years (to the exact day, really!) longer than my grandfather, and she had never learned to drive a car. So my mom would go and get her and bring her to us in San Antonio for a week or so at a time. After graduating from college, I bought a darling black and white cocker spaniel that had to have a registered name. I named her “NAOMI of the book of RUTH”.(come to think of it, bet AKC hadn’t seen THAT one before!) (this was 27 yrs ago). She was well into her 80’s and hard of hearing. I brought the dog with me every visit. I will never forget her calling the dog, “OMI,OMI” because no matter how many times we reminded her the dog’s name was NAomi…she just called her Omi…which is german for grandmother!!!hahaha
Fitting that Beth would bring up Nanny, Omi, and Naomi.
Thanks, Beth!
rene : )
Thanks for telling us the truth in love.
God’s up to somethin’ and I want in on it. Can’t you feel it?
Lord, send us revival and let it begin in me.
WOW! All I can say right now is WOW!
you know, there is probably a reason God did not allow you to write in the depths you could have. “a heart like his” was the VERY FIRST BIBLE STUDY I HAD EVER PARTICIPATED IN AND COMPLETED. it knocked me off my feet! i never knew, i just never knew.
i’m 37ish and i completed that study about 6 years ago. THIRTY-ONE!! a 31 yr old Christian that had never even thought about Bible study. what a travesty!
NOW i’m ready for your revision, bring it on!! let’s go deeper!!
i thank God for you Beth Moore!!
Um…I don’t mean to completely freak out here and make you feel uncomfortable or anything, but I am completely going to do it! Oh my goodness! I have always participated in your Bible studies and went to your conferences and watched your passion for the Lord and just loved you to death! Your southern/real way of giving the Word has always blown me away and encouraged the socks off of me! My name is Brandi (26 years) and my family and I have been missionaries in Chiquimula, Guatemala for a little over a year and a half. I have two children, 3 years and 1 year, and I was born a “homebody” from Alabama! I am currently doing the Esther Bible study with one of my friends that lives about 30 minutes from me (North American also), and it is ministering to my life right now in such a powerful way! I don’t know if you will ever even read this, but if you ever do, I want you to know that your willingness to be honest and passionate for the Lord has ministered to me for many years, and I’ve never met you, but I have always wanted to…and now I am so super pumped that I have found this and I get to read it and I can’t wait to see what the Lord will show me through this blog. Ok, sorry to be a little weird, but I have butterflies in my stomach because I am so excited to be a part of this blog. 🙂 Blessings and love!!!
Laughing. You are so darling, Brandi. Welcome to Siestaville! Yes, I really am very personally involved here on the blog. It’s one of my favorite ministries at LPM. I am so always so blessed to serve a missionary, young lady. You’ll find a number of them tuned in here. May God continue to reveal Himself powerfully to you. He is so worthy of what you guys are doing. We’ll see you on here in the future!
The first study I was introduced to was “When Godly People Do Ungoldy Things.” I was in my early 20’s and I stil remember bawling my eyes out on the way home from bible study becuase it was the first time I really felt as though God took my by the ears and said “Girl, wake up.” After that I was hungering for more and did AHLH. This post is so tender to me, I wish I could tell you audibly what has happened in my life since my first study of yours. I came across an old Journal this week that I started a few months before I got married. It was sooo full of hopes and dreams. I was so exicted. Then it went blank for a while. When I returned…it was very sad and desparing. I couldnt’ help but cry becuase my heart broke for the young lady 11 years ago that didn’t have a clue as to what was laying in front of her. All I could think of what how I was back in church and on fire to “Serve, serve, serve.” I see now that I thought a new name meant no one would ever recognize me anymore. New name, new life, right?? It never ever ever occured to me that God wanted to heal the hurts that happened to me before my name changed legally. I wish I had recognized this long ago, but I am so thankful he looks at the heart and he knew the shape it was in. I finished “Breaking Free” last fall, and it couldn’t have come in a more perfect season of my life. Our stories are so much the same. I will be 31 in a few days, and I like so many other Siestas wish to goodness I didn’t have the story I do, but I believe God intervened in my life at the right time with your studies so long ago b/c he knew I needed a trustworthy spiritual momma to guide me to truth. Many times I have prayed “Lord, I don’t want to be Beth, it’s not what I am asking…I want to know you like she does.” He has answered in many ways. After this week, I have been quite humbled at how I thought so highly of myself for going to bible study rather than a bar when all my 20 something friends were. I know I know more today than I did then, but I feel like I did when I graduated from Graduate School…the more I learned the less I feel like I knew, does that make sense?? I realized after prayer and tears about how stupid I felt b/c I missed God big time over the years in what he was really after. But today as I write this, I woke up this morning saying “thank you, thank you, thank you” before my eyes were open. 1 year ago…I couldn’t have said that. I hate to even remember what all I have said to Him. He is so faithful…I cannot comprehend. I made so many idols out of my relationships, and he brought me to a place where I went from many to none except my husband. I said to him ” All I loved is gone and now different…but I am now different, and I like where I am. I have so rambled, but I know exactly where you are coming from. Thank you for allowing Him to mold and shape you, Siesta Momma.
I can see that you truly get it. Our gracious Savior loves us so. I am so thankful.
Wow Leanne Eldridge, what you wrote was beautiful. Brought tears to my eyes, girl tears feel good sometimes when they are brought on by a tenderness and love for God in someone else. Thank you for sharing. Someday in heaven to think we will know each other by our love. Sweet thought.
Thank you…and amen. <3
I am glad to be in the 500’s and glad for the admonition for siesta’s not to read all the comments, for mine is hard and painful, I just need to write it. Pain in the cruel and unfeeling words and actions of someone that I have sacrificially loved and given to for a very long time. A child to be exact. The wound runs deep and somedays I feel as though I will bleed to death from it’s pain. Shalom…. may God put balm on all our wounds.
Sweet Sister, I surely do know what that one feels like. May Christ continue to show you that your love has not failed because Christ Himself receives whatever you extend to even the least of these.
I was almost all the way through A Heart Like His when my daddy died unexpectedly. Two friends and I had finished up A Woman’s Heart:God’s Tabernacle and the power carried from that study into the one on David’s life were what got me through that awful time. I have gone back time and time again to review and re-read the questions and scriptures from that study. It’s dear to my heart and I’m excited to read your revised edition!!! Thanks for always keeping it fresh and real!
sweet siesta mama, i’d like to “just be sayin” a couple things too! first of all, thank you. what you spoke and your heart behind it, is one of the many things i love and appreciate about you. thank you for speaking truth, for showing people what healthy boundaries are; it encourages me personally, for siestaville, and also for my own life; that i am not being “mean” for needing boundaries with a certain someone. the Lord confirmed for me that it’s the right thing to do, and i’m not being selfish in refusing to drop everything in my life to be there for this person’s every up and down. thank you for speaking into my life as a mother on this… a gift from the Lord. and thank you for taking care of your nest like a good siesta mama. i loved hearing about your nanny; she sounds just precious. can’t wait to meet her. thank you for sharing those memories! AND, if a hug could ever burst out of me and cross state lines until it met you, it just did! you just have no idea what your authenticity means to me -i know it’s real, and you don’t just “say” authentic things, to be… authentic. you just ARE, it’s you, and God TAKES that places! this is why you are so effective and used so hugely by Him in so many lives, on such personal levels, where REAL LIFE growth happens. because you WALK WITH JESUS in the real-est way and you have the guts to share it with us. we DO need to know we’re in this together, and that is what you do! this is (just one of!) the reasons i love you so dearly no matter what on earth your hair is ever doing. i do thank our Father for you, so often, and i told Him the other morning “i’m so glad i got to be on earth at the same time as mama beth!” He smiled and said, it was on purpose, my dear. so, thank you from the bottom of my heart for walking with Him! (oh, and i thought of you; saw my reflection in a window and said oh, my hair looks like a birds nest! and the alzheimer lady with me, looked long and hard and said… no, it’s just celebrating! LOL. love her perspective!)
Hey Beth,
Thanks again for your amazing post! I was at the lake today with my children and ran into a friend from church and we started talking about you and your awesome Bible Studies. Thank you for doing what you do through God’s grace and mercy!!! I still consider myself a baby christian (its only been 4 years) but I love all of the Bible studies I’ve done through you!!! I look forward to all of the ones I will take in the future. May God richly bless you and your beautiful family-have a wonderful holiday weekend!
Blessings,
Denise
I am grateful for your honesty, Beth. It’s good to know that even though we are mostly “put together”, it’s still okay to fall apart. Reminds me of a song I sat quietly listening to today, “That’s Why There’s Grace”. Let it never be said of us by God, that He “just can’t learn ‘em nothin”
(Funny, He’s got me in 1 Samuel now. :))
Sheila,
I love how you said…even though we are mostly “put together” it is still O.K. to fall apart. …because, who are we trying to kid?!! I think the hard part is not that I know I can go there with Jesus, but those who would “expect” us not to need to.
So appreciate the siestas here…thanks, Sheila!
rene
Renee,
It’s ok to need to no matter what they think. Better to be real, true, or transparent, if you prefer. I think Jesus was like that.
<3 Sheila
Beth,
When I started participating in your Bible studies about 10 years ago I was a wreck. I had known the Lord for over 20 years and had walked closely with Him. Yet, I was at a point in my life where I wondered if all that I said I believed in was really true. You helped me plant my feet back on the solid foundation of Christ and you were as transparent as any believer I had ever seen. You are my hero. Please don’t misunderstand and think that I put you before the Lord. I didn’t and I don’t. But I owe you so much for what you’ve taught me and how you have given so much, so that we, this community of flawed and scarred women, can be emotionally and spiritually healthy. It’s your heart that drew me to you and still draws me to sit at your feet and listen as you teach from His word. Your heart is more like His that you would ever say. You are my rock star Beth and I love you for it. And I love being a siesta. I have never felt any pressure from this blog but have been encouraged many times. Thanks to you, Amanda, and Melissa for this wonderful ministry.
Beth, your personal word of encouragment and prayers mean so much to me. Thank you!! I love your transparency and willingness to share yourself with all of us.
I don’t want to take up too much of the blog with back-&-forth, so feel free not to post this. Just wanted to say “Thanks”. HUGS
Amen – Amen – Amen!
Dearest Mama Beth,
I have been sitting reading thru the comments and enjoying myself immensely when I came across your dear friend GJ’s comment and she talked about the four questions to ask so we don’t get puncked. I would dearly love to know what those are cuz I don’t like to get punked and I wanna be learnin myself somethin!! Can you tell us, please Mama, pleeeeeeeeeeez! I’m afraid I’m about to get spanked cuz this is my third comment and there’s nothin’ worse than a pest! Grin…I dearly love you Siesta Mama even if I do need a lickin’…Okay now I’m getting punchy..Ill just duck my head and run!!!!!
This is not the kind of thing you’ll get spanked for on here. Laughing. I don’t have my notes with me but I’ll see where that message is available. You are so funny. May Jesus hold you close and protect you from getting Punk’d.
Love the Blog…so enjoyable reading!
Beth,
Any chance you remember a random Estee Lauder consultant (circa 2003) that was blessed by knowing your shade (Wheat) of double wear makeup??? Probably not. That was me! It was back when LPM only had a website with a guestbook. Anyways, your ministry and makeup (seriously, you are aging in reverse) still blesses me years later. God used those early Bible Studies of yours in my life to help develop a PASSION for God’s Word. I’m still loving Him, seeking Him and serving Him with all my heart. We have grown along with you. Thank you for your authenticity. Thank you for loving Him like you do and telling us.
P.S. I’m a pastor’s wife now (still love me some makeup) and downloaded your pastor’s wife conference on Lifeway. THANK YOU!!! I was happy to know that Melissa calls your hair styling skills “the ministry” too. 😉
I remember like yesterday, Jaime! I still wear that same foundation. I’ve never found another more versatile for what I do. You made my day, you sweet thing! May Jesus be so obvious today to you.
Hi Siesta Momma and Siesta Girlfriends,
Funny your grandmother was named Minnie… so was mine… but her full name was Minnie Maude… and if you called her that she’d chase you around the house because she hated the Maude part… all in good fun of coarse… LOL… She also made my parents promise not to name me after her… one Minnie was enough… so I was named after my other grandma who passed away in August… her name was Charlotte… so I am Charlotte Leah… Sheri for short… I look back over the years and how my grandma’s both played huge roles in my life… (they were lovingly distinguished by the names “little grandma and big grandma… ohh don’t worry BOTH grandma’s wore their names like a badge of honour…lol) They were both very strong women… Both died in their 90s… Both loved the Lord and helped me to understand the need for a relationship with Jesus and His amazing love and tenderness towards us… Minnie was a prayer warrior… Charlotte read through the Bible several times… and cherished her quiet time with God… We never missed a Christmas without them spending the night at our house… We would creep around the house on Christmas eve to try to get to our stockings without waking my sleeping Big Grandma (Minnie) on the couch… One time I accidentally awoke my talking Cabbage Patch kid that was buried under the tree… and my grandma was on me with a flash light like a hawk… lol… My Big Grandma (Minnie…lol) died in 1999… My Little Grandma in August 2009… so this was our first nucleur family’s attempt at Christmas on our own… It was rough… but we survived… My Dog was put down a few days after Christmas… and I ended up in Hospital for health reasons for a month and a half… But God is good and brought us through as a family once again… we are a tight close knit family… My brother and I even own a home and live together…
My family seems to be going through this horrible season of loss… Since mid December we have been to the funeral home 17 times… We have lost people of varying degrees of intimacy, from “fringe friends” to very dear loved one’s… I worry about my dad because he has lost half his immediate family in 2 months and his remaining sister (who is 64) had a stroke right before Christmas and is now confined to a nursing home(her husband has alzeheirmers and is living with their son)… My dad has lost several childhood friends in the last 3 months(we live in a small town and friendships quite often last a lifetime)… He is a young 72 yr old… Runs his own landscaping/snow removal business… and he is the only worker and the hardest working man you will ever meet… He has always worked 6 days a week…. If you could hold him and us… up in prayer I would be very grateful…
God is so great… even through this season of loss He is continually reknewing, and rebuilding our brokeness… I used to be an athlete… I used to rock climb, ice climb, I was even once asked to try out for the provincial womens soccer team when I was a teen… I am now 37… Due to health issues and medical incompetance and medications… I ended up weighing 400 pounds (I was told I would never get better, never finish school, and needed to live in a home for special care)… for about 18 years I was at a weight where my body would not… could not function… I had severe weight related health issues… To God be the glory… I have lost 197 pounds…in the last almost 2 years… This summer I am celebrating by playing women’s softball and co-ed soccer… In my last two soccer games I have scored 2 goals!!!! I am so excited… so blessed… I have been living in the prison of my own body… I could only watch others enjoy what I loved to do… I was so ashamed to the point that I would wear a baseball hat and never look any one in the eyes… I would always look to the floor… I hid in my body… BUT PRAISE GOD … NO MORE!!!!!! I still have a ways to go in my journey of weight loss and health… but on His schedule… I just have to keep doing my part and He is always faithful to do His…
Beth you so inspire me to keep pressing onward… forward towards Him… It is amazing how many little and big wordly distractions can come my way and I so often bend and yeild to them rather than trust my Abba Father who loves me beyond measure… I am so impatient… But as I grow and get to know Him more and more… I am learning that it’s not knowledge… or accalades… (or 2 goals scored… lol) or popularity… or people thinking you have it all together… what is important is those moments … those times when you have the opportunity to choose… do I do it my way… or God’s way… in the end it always ends up God’s way anyway… thank God!… but if at first I choose to do it my way… I miss out… I miss out on the revelation of experiencing the deep intimacy of connecting with God… by hearing His voice, knowing His voice, and responding to it by faith and walking forward with Him… I believe when I respond in this matter I build up my treasure… I build up my intimacy with Him… I build relationship and trust rather than sowing doubt and fear… I am trying to not “REACT” when provoked… but take a step back… pray… regroup… journal… read scripture… because wow… do I react… and yes been known to over react… so God is teaching me to SLOW IT DOWN… Even when my heart has been crushed …
Enough said… Send my love to you all… To my fellow Canadians… Happy Belated Canada Day… And to my neighbours to the south… Happy 4th of July…
SIESTA”S I have a prayer request….I want to try and make this sweet. I have never had the privilege to meet any of you wonderful ladies in person but felt that this was definitely a place that I could come and ask for prayer.
To make this as short as I can, we are military and moved to Ft. Leonard Wood, MO back in the end of February and by the beginning of April we had some neighbors move in next door. Now this may seem something stupid to be asking prayer about but I am really feeling overwhelmed. We came from Grand Forks AFB in North Dakota where my husband and I like to consider that our valley period. It was a very toxic place for us. My husband was surrounded by Wiccans, Mason’s, idolatry, lust, you name it so when we got these orders to come here we felt that finally it was our time of restoration and peace ( maybe even some blessings ) well it has been everything but that….
The neighbors that moved in have caused alot of issues. We have had to call the MP’s on them and because of that we have been called racist. My 3 precious little girls get starred down, we have been cussed at. They keep me and my husband up til 5 in the morning and we have been basically told to sit down, shut up and deal with it by supervision. There is drinking,paryting and even drugs that go on over there and tonight when they came home I got this horrid demonic feeling about being here…
It reminded me of when I had read Beth’s Get out of the Pit book and she listed that there were 4 ways that you can could get into one and one of those ways was being thrown in and that is exactly how I am feeling at this moment. I truly felt that this was going to be a good time for our family and its been horrible. In our Ruth study that we are doing when I had read Day 1 for Session 1 and the there were scriptures for us to look up it was just amazing to me how I felt that the Lord was basically saying not to run from this problem cause that wont solve anything but at the same time I HATE and that is such a strong word but I hate living here. I have no family, friends, no church nothing and dealing with this has added a lot of stress once again to our family and my marriage………..I am sorry for this being sooo long…I hope that you all had a wonderful 4th…
God Bless
April PS thanks for the reading this…I know its long!!!!
April,
Praying for you and your family.
Blesssings,
michelle
Can I just say that I have done a heart like His (and hair like hers) four times and even if you feel like you didn’t testify to His grace that bible study was 1. down right scandalous. 2. you did a really good job of letting me see how God used this cracked pot man, and in all of his failures, he was called a man after His own heart in the NT. That free’s me up when I want to wipe out the grace on my own life because it is in the OT. You have no clue how God has ministered to me through those workbooks. Before anyone is judging me…I have a workbook and just plain time in the word going on year round. Just like it took me 2 weeks to do Esther…it sometimes takes more or less. Didn’t want y’all to think I wasn’t a’ learnin’!!
2. I love how David had it on his heart to build a place for the Lord to dwell and he was not the one that was to build it. I love how he prepared the way for Solomon to build the temple. My grandaddy died in 95′ due to some bad lifestyle choices. In all of his weakness he had more effect on me for Christ than anyone. I read a journal entry this past week that he wrote and it struck me to the core. He was praying and asking God to spare his life. He then prayed that he would be more devoted to the Lord in the calls on his life like writing and etc. He was a big reader, he journaled (which I had no clue about and I have my life for the last 13 years journaled…some of them need to be burned) and loved to study. It fell on me like a ton of bricks that my own life (even though he died) may be fulfillment to the same prayer he prayed only it was no longer his time here. I love all of the same things and didn’t even think about his love for all of it until I read that prayer.
He is still in the business of using the foolish things of the world to shame and confound the wise! I love Him so much!
I surely do love you, Jenny Hope. I smile every time I see your name. May Christ continue to be your everything. He’s so worthy of it!
Jen-
I agree with Beth:)
You are so precious to my life girl! I mean I know you aren’t years older, but you definitely teach me:)
And Beth you have to know about miss Jenny that whenever I am stumped on a bible verse, not sure of the location I just text her, and she has knows exactly which one! You both are an inspiration to my life:)
I’m definiately someone who struggles from “intense emotional issues”…yeah, more than one 🙂 I have saught sound biblical counseling and now it’s just a matter of me choosing to apply the tools I’ve been taught…dang it’s hard, though. Often that’s why I don’t comment…it’s a funny mix of having received just enough healing to not spew all over everyone and getting so worked up in my own head that I’m too exhausted to comment lol. Some of my favorite moments are when you are straight up honest and say things like “some of you won’t be able to get past this.” Girl, that is me you are addressing! More times than not I find it nearly impossible to believe that you have ever been “that bad” but when you say things like that, I know that you have! Kinda that “takes one to know one thing.”
You are not alone. I do not deserve to be in ministry. I did not earn it. Any good that comes from my life if from him. I have prayed over and over the same words that you said “Lord protect me from myself”. So far so good!
Beth, My prayer is that as God helps me to become the woman that He created me to be is that I will listen and share His truth in such a grace filled way May God smile upon you life In Christ juls
I’ve had a rough time of it these past months….this past week was the worst. Wanted to smoke again, (in all honesty I had a few), avoided fellowship, felt bereft and far from God. Story of my life, really, especially when stressed right out, but I thought I had it licked this time around. Maybe that was my problem…..thinking ‘I’ had it licked. On the bright side, this is the first time I haven’t felt the guilt that goes with backsliding…even if it’s just a ‘bit’. I know He loves me and just wants me to rest in Him when I feel out of sorts……I just praise Him for the strength He’s given me to be able to pick myself right back up and look forward instead of backward, which I usually do. God is SO good, isn’t He?? 🙂
Yes, He is, Tara!
His mercies are new every morning… Which is what I remind myself every time I fall, which is like every day. 🙂
Thats what I love about you, Beth – your transparency. Your life is an open book of what God is orchestrating through you and in you. What a model for all of us to be an authentic church, encouraging and buidling one another up along the way. I am so thankful for you – God has used you and your studies to rescue me. I don’t deserve any of it….His grace abounds!!!
Thank you for your honesty, transparency and integrity in Christ.
Lord, I too need to be saved from myself most days.
One of my earliest Bible teachers, Peter Lord from Orlando Fl who taught at a retreat back in the early 80’s told us that every Bible teacher should preface their words (especially those in PRINT) with, “this is what I believe the Lord has shown me so far…” I had just recently shared this with someone wanting to know which of your Bible studies to do first. I counseled them to start at the beginning and learn along with you for deeper richer stuff as you went along. Oh, dear Beth I have been with you since that beginning and hairstyles and polyester pantsuits aside, you were always WONDERFULLY INSIGHTFUL and shared just enough not to scare us half to death before we knew and loved you so well. You were always sharing enough light to take the next step on. Thank you so much for keeping on unveiling yourself to the honor of our unveiled Savior.
Judy from NC
Wow! Well said, Judy. Your minister was amazingly on track with the warning to preface comments with, “this is what I believe the Lord has shown me so far.” Whew. Bless you for sharing that.
Now if you’re going to mention polyester, you’ve gotta send a shout out to those shoulder pads. My girls mercilessly tease me for the pictures that testify to my…90’s ness. If I laugh at Beth’s fashion, it’s b/c I know for a fact I was just a black haired version of her. And God didn’t leave either one of us in our bright red suits with matching lip color. We can all “put off the old…and put on the new.” In absolutely every way 😉
Cool, I just noticed Beth’s name is underlined and in green I clicked on it to see what might happen. (I expected a choir or dancing angels…)the best… it led me right to LPM websight. More Bible Studies!! God is so good and He makes me laugh with joy. Internet is so fancy, just amazies me. I wonder what Nanny would have said about that “feechur”. I’m good with Nanny words, being from Bucksnort, TN and now living in Texas. 🙂
Beth, I think I know what you are feeling. Many times, we feel we must “go back” but we can’t “go back”. Once we have gone forward, to “go back” hurts and is painful and there is no reason to re-hash things. It’s over, God forgave us, we are past that and we are another new creation. Always move forward. I pray God’s words go with you….”stop it” and move on. In HIS love and grace!
God bless you for always sharing your heart! I recently took a trip down to Savannah, Georgia to visit a dear friend. We spent several hours in the Lifeway store there looking at all of your studies, trying to decide which one we were going to do together. “A Heart Like His” was the one we chose. We will begin it later this month after her family reunion. After which we will head in to “Here and Now, There and Then.” We are so excited for both!
I can so relate to your closing comment though…Praise God for His grace and mercy! Without Him, I would not still be standing!
Amen, Beth! I shout your exact capitalized sentiments…only I need to use an even bigger font! I weep as I declare that God is the ONLY salve Who heals my wounds. To God be the glory. I am encouraged daily by your vulnerability and willingness to bare your soul in order to glorify God. Thank you.