I’m Just Saying

Hey, Sweet things!

It’s Friday afternoon before a holiday weekend and I’ve had a really full but good day. Not that great a week, really, but a mighty good day. God woke me up with a release this morning from something that has been pressing on my heart. I just sort of heard a “Stop it” from God so I decided to stop it. Anyway, I thought I’d end the work week up visiting with you guys a bit before we lock this place up for three days. I will probably say hi before the weekend is over but I’ll have to see how the unplanned festivities go. For now, it is pouring a deluge in South Texas so whatever we’re doing, it is decidedly not out doors. No telling what my two dogs have done to my house while I’ve been at work today. (Star, my Border Collie, has been keeping Geli, Keith’s bird dog, company lately when the really hot weather prevents Keith from taking  her with him in his truck. I can’t bring both of them to work without mass pandemonium.)

Before I head to another topic, I want to tell you that you really knocked it out on that last post and I’m so proud of you. Way to tell a girl how she can know God loves her. I watched some real live ministry take place on that last post (and so many others before it). I believe in the ministry that takes place here. I couldn’t have fathomed it in advance but our gracious God has lurked here and so many other places on the web and I am so much the better off for it. You know, you guys are the only reason I’ve never done the Facebook thing. I’ve always wanted to. Are you kidding? What sanguine wouldn’t? But I thought I’d end up getting so distracted by it that I’d lose my vision here. I’m so blessed to be a part of you and, for now, you are one of my biggest serving priorities.

And that’s the reason why I need to stop and say something in protection of this precious, hardworking, sincere and tenderhearted community. We exist to encourage one another to know Jesus Christ as personal Savior and to follow hard after Him. We love big doses of healthy, good, clean fun. We love to laugh. We don’t mind having a good hard cry together. BUT, we can’t consistently be a ton more than that. We can’t replace face-to-face families to many people and certainly don’t exist to take the place of our local churches. Few of us are confused about that. Here’s why I’m bringing all this up. I don’t want you to start getting worn out here or start feeling like there’s such a heavy weight of responsibility that you can’t even bear to log in. I don’t want you feeling guilty or condemned because you couldn’t read every single person’s comment. None of us can. None of us can be anybody’s everything. Let me say that again:

None of us can be anybody’s everything.

To attempt it is to play Christ. To demand it is to expect somebody else play Christ. Minister here freely and freely feel ministered to. Freely give, freely receive, the Scriptures would tell us. But do not let this place become a burden or a form of bondage to you. I just can’t have that. I speak for most of us when I say that what I write here on these posts is to every single one of you, new and old. You do the same when you write general responses. When you or I get a chance to shout something out to someone in a comment, it is never because we found her worthier than anybody else. I don’t have favorites on here. I really don’t as much as we sometimes tease. You don’t either. I also don’t get to read every single comment. Neither does Melissa or Amanda. Neither do most of you. Please know that this community exists to bring you encouragement. Not to add to your insufferably long list of things to do nor, worse yet, to add to a  feeling of insignificance. Lord, forbid it. All of you are so loved and welcomed here. I would be heartsick for anybody to get on this blog that was formed to build you up and feel torn down.

By all means, please let your Siestas know when you legitimately need prayer and edification or just a big fat hug. Ask your questions! (I LOVED Erica’s question!) Seek some solid insight! Get together on the side. That’s what this place is for. But I say this to anyone with an intense emotional issue (Believe me, I’ve been there and have sought sound Godly counsel and highly recommend it): please don’t demand more (and more and more) from this sincere community than most women on here can give. Please be careful not take advantage of my girls here in Siestaville. They’ll bend over backwards for you. Don’t put more on them than they can handle or expect of them what they can’t deliver. It is my responsibility to be protective of this community. With all my heart I pray that this will remain one of the very few places in many of our lives where we don’t have to feel guilty and like we’re not enough for people. Please, not here. I say that with love. And if your comments get posted on these entries, you’re probably not who I’m talking about. Let me say frankly that there is a reason why we moderate comments.

Ladies, as you minister on your own blogs and as you participate here, please keep in mind that people can play you. One way you’ll know is if they just keep on and on with it and no answer and no encouragement ever suffices. Sometimes you can just feel it in your gut. That doesn’t mean they don’t need love and prayer and attention. It just means you don’t need to get caught up in a loop. We aren’t meant to take the place of professional counselors.

I love you guys so much. God has placed the stewardship of this community in my hands. I’m the Mama here. And sometimes mamas have to lay some boundaries. This is for your protection.

OK, some of you may not be able to get past that but for those of you who can, this is the real reason why I got on here today. I don’t know why but I’ve been thinking a lot about my grandmother lately. Maybe it’s because I’m a grandmother now and I’ve seen some life come full circle. Whatever the reason, she’s been in my thoughts more than usual recently. My grandmother was widowed when my mom was just fourteen. Four years later, Mom met my Dad and fooled around and eloped with him. When they got back to town, my mother’s mom got revenge I suppose by moving right in with them. She didn’t move out until her mansion was ready in Heaven. I was sixteen years old at the time. Translation? She lived with my siblings and me all our young lives. And, boy, was she a character.

Her name was Minnie Ola Rountree. With a smirk on my face, 30 years ago I suggested to Keith that we name our first daughter after her but he didn’t go for it. Minnie Moore. Don’t you think that would have been darling? Anyway, to us she was “Nanny.” (Not our first child. My maternal grandmother.) She was born before the turn of the 20th Century and lived long enough to ride a horse-driven carriage to town and watch a man walk on the moon. She believed until the day she died that we had a party line (you young Siestas don’t even know what that is. It’s not direct dial to Party City) and would stand over us when we talked on the phone for more than five minutes and say, “Get off that phone! Someone’s probably needin’ an ambu-lance with you on there chewing the fat!”

There were eight of us in all and by the time Dad would let us get two phones in the house (on the same number, of course), Nanny decided if she couldn’t beat us, she’d join us. We’d be on one phone with our boyfriends and she’d be on the other just listening in. You’d walk through the kitchen and there she’d be, sipping on her perked coffee, tuning in like it was her business. Oh, man, she dearly loved gossip. Watched her “stories” on the black and white from noon til 3:00 and only President Kennedy better interrupt her and, even then, it better be good.

She’d been raised in the country and mostly by her big sister. Her second parent was cold in the grave before she was out of grade school. Once a tall, educated man happened through those parts and took a liking to her and married her before she could think better of it. I guess she loved him more than anything in her entire life. His name was Micajah Rountree. They had seven children together. And buried three of them. Under two and a half years-old. Can you even comprehend it? She told me once that every woman she knew with a large family had gone through the terrible agony of at least one loss. They couldn’t have imagined medical care like we have today. In the cemetery where she is buried, she is one of many moms laid to rest near the graves of infants. It’s almost too much to bear to see.

But they had many good times together, too. My grandfather was quite the catch, becoming a mighty fine lawyer and serving in State government. He probably would have been a man of means if not for the Great Depression. Family legends made him bigger than life to me and, even though I never knew him, I set out to be just like him, majoring in political science and minoring in English. God ended up having other plans but not before the man’s legacy had left his mark. I am told he never saw his left palm for a book in his hand. My mom was just like him. I am just like her. Amanda and Melissa are just like me. We live to read. We are so amused that Annabeth can’t put a book down. Rountree blood has trickled down five generations.

My grandmother was a smart woman but her formal education did not quite match her man’s. We moved that woman out of the country but we never moved the country out of that woman. And we are so glad. She used sayings that my siblings and I still employ on a continual basis. When we moved all the way from Arkansas to Houston, Texas (I was 15), her world split wide open. She’d never been to a city you could call a melting pot. She’d say, “Don’t them ferners beat all!” Ferners = someone born in a different country. Of course, what Amanda and I love best about Houston is that it’s such a glad mix of ferners but that’s our taste. Nanny didn’t quite know what to do with such a big world. She never understood that they were just as American as she was.

My favorite thing she ever said – and she said it CONSTANTLY – was this: “Some folks, you just can’t learn ’em nothin’.” (Please use a long “a” sound on the “can’t.” It’s more like “cain’t.”)

I don’t want to be one of them folks that you can’t learn nothin. I want to keep learning as long as I live. Don’t you?

Now that I’ve talked on this long, I might as well tell you what’s kind of had me down this week. For the last several months, we’ve been working on the up-dated version of “A Heart Like His.” (Do not even talk to me about my hair in that video. Believe it or not, I did not do that hair. Another story for another time. Anyway, I happen to really love who fixed that hair so I’m going to keep my mouth shut.) I’ve enjoyed being back in the study of the life of David so much. Scripture doesn’t get any wilder or richer or more applicable than 1st and 2nd Samuel. What’s gotten to me over the last few weeks is not what I said in the original written version (17 years ago!). It’s what I didn’t say. Lord have mercy, I had just come out of one of the worst trials of my entire life. I cannot even express the pain I’d been through or the defeat that had threatened to engulf me. But try as you might, you could not find a single hint of it. (My Nanny would say, “Narry a hint.”)

“Woman,” I said to myself as I was recently reading through the original version and updating it, “Where on earth is your testimony about the grace of God over your pitiful, messed up life? Huh? Huh?” At one point, I read such a down-played version of some misery that I’d been in that I wrote out in the margin, “Rewrite, you big liar!”

It wasn’t really a lie. But it didn’t even begin to measure my true estate. As I’ve read over some of the early writings, I can still see a woman who wasn’t sure she could yet be herself. Thank God, the Scriptures speak loudly and clearly and they’re all we really need. But most of us could use a teacher who owns up to her own struggles and own defeats. Most of us need to know we’re in this together. Way back when I originally wrote “A Heart Like His,” I think I was too close to the fresh graces of God to truly recognize them. I hear a crescendo after that in studies like “To Live is Christ” but, not coincidentally, I don’t hear the full throttle, volume 10 testimony of what God had done for me until “Breaking Free.” There’s an obvious reason for that.

For some reason that missing element broke my heart yesterday. I’d teared up over it several times as I edited “A Heart Like His” but finally yesterday I just got up from my desk, went face down on the floor and bawled my eyes out before God. “I am so, so sorry.”

Praise His Name, He really does grow us up in knowledge and in grace. He is so patient. So merciful. But just in case some of you have only done one of the earliest unrevised Bible studies and didn’t hear it as clearly as you should have, hear me clearly today: GOD IS THE ONLY REASON WHY I CAN HOLD MY HEAD UP LONG ENOUGH TO DRAW A BREATH. ANYTHING IN MY LIFE OF VALUE IS FROM HIM ALONE. HE IS MY DECENCY. HE IS MY ONLY HONOR. WITHOUT HIM, I’M A TOTAL WRECK. I DO NOT DESERVE TO BE IN MINISTRY. I DID NOT EARN IT. ALL THAT I HAVE TO OFFER IS HIM.

He’s it. Plain and simple. Gorgeous and complex.

Some folks, you just cain’t learn ’em nothin.’ And I don’t want to be one of them. Lord, protect me from myself.

“But grow in the grace and knowledge of our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ. To Him be glory both now and forever! Amen.” 2 Peter 3:18

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686 Responses to “I’m Just Saying”

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Comments:

  1. 101
    Laura Russell says:

    Dear Beth..Thank you for being so honest with us..I read your blog and often I don’t comment. By reading some of the comments from the last post just encouraged my heart. Something that GOD used in my life is when you spoke on James Robison a few years ago(forgot what you were teaching) but you said that when we go to others to fill our cup we will be empty! GOD has so used this in my life time and time again..Nothing will fill me but GOD for to go to anything else I’ll be empty every time. May the LORD richly bless you. Love to you!

  2. 102
    jackie says:

    Siesta Mama,
    all i can say is ‘powerful’. both sections.

    and real.

    i am so so thankful for you, your daughters and all the ladies at Living Proof!

  3. 103

    I want to tell you something…

    Early on in my walk with you via your Bible studies (To Live is Christ being my first one) you said something along the lines of “God doesn’t wait until we’re perfect to use us; he uses us all along and as we go.” Something like that. It meant a lot to me then because I felt that I had spent most of my life years being less than “ready” to be used by God. As I encountered your teaching, I had a tendency to be overwhelmed with all the knowledge you possess; I kind of felt diminished in regards to my own understanding, but then God used me… in spite of me, and I took to my “learnin'” and let God take care of the rest.

    He’s still taking care of it, friend, and I am exceedingly grateful for a Father who doesn’t wait until we’re polished to use us for his kingdom purposes. Each and every day we’re given a handful of sacred seed to enrich the soil beneath our feet. Sometimes that soil is a stage, but more often than not, it’s just a little garden outside our doors. I’ve had to make peace with that, but I’m mostly there now, and it seems to me that the garden has never been more lovely.

    Thank you for allowing us to bloom where we’re planted and for watering our hearts with the truth of God’s Word as we go. It’s good to share the garden with you. You add such texture and color and vibrancy to the bouquet.

    peace for the journey~elaine

    • 103.1

      Elaine, you are so sweet! I prayed for you last night with Leah, as we prayed over the gIRL gathering in Sept. How wonderful it was to lift each of you up!

    • 103.2
      Angie Cortes says:

      Elaine, my first one was To Live is Christ also. With that I fell in love with Bible study and the Word. : )

      • Thanks for your prayers, Holly. This is a season in my life when I need them (as if ever there was a season when that wasn’t the case). We’ve just moved, and I feel very isolated and alone in our new place of ministry. My husband is a full-time pastor, so we live the itinerant life. This has been a hard move for me from every angle, but I’m anchored in Jesus, and I know the clouds of uncertainty will part soon. Hope to meet you in September.

  4. 104
    3GirlsMom says:

    You just make me happy. This whole place makes me happy. And if you had said that Amanda was nicknamed Nanny, that would’ve made me HAPPY! 🙂

    Love you peeps. Headed to put my new 5 year old girl, Tait, to bed (her birthday is today!) – poor sweet girl has been sportin a fever since Monday, so she’s been a little pitiful today, but was all about blowing out her candle on her chocolate chunk brownie (her request).

    Robyn

  5. 105
    Joybreaks says:

    Wow..that post was uber awesome! Thanks for the reminder. It’s one thing to use this forum for ministry and encouragement. It’s another to use it as an escape. I get it.

    This morning I was reminded of the verse in Acts 17:28. “For in Him we live and move and have our being.” I was on the treadmill when I heard it. There is nothing I should be saying or doing apart from Christ. Period.

    Thanks again, Beth. You and this community are a real treasure.

    In Christ,
    Carol

  6. 106
    Charla says:

    Beth, I have no idea whether you will read this. Most likely not. Just want to thank you, with all my heart, for sharing yourself, your faith, your love for Jesus with all the rest of us. I, too, would not be here without HIM. I lost my precious son 11 yrs. ago in a car accident. There are times I am not truly authentic, either. I go about my days acting like I’m ok or not so ok, but not truly giving our Lord the credit for pulling me through so many days. Thank you for your sharing your feelings. Saw you in St. Louis and in Springfield, IL. I watch you online, study your bible studies and am in awe of your testimony in your books. You are a wonder. I thank God for you every day!!!

    • 106.1
      Beth says:

      Oh, Charla, I am so, so sorry. I pray that Christ will continue to lift you up. YOU are a wonder. I thank God for you, too.

      • Charla says:

        Beth, I’m in tears. Means so much to me that you took the time to reply to my note to you!!! I am honored and blessed. Thank you so much for reaching out to me. God bless you each and every day for being such a thoughtful woman. Love you!!

    • 106.2
      Village Sister says:

      Charla,
      I also lost a child due to a car accident 11 years ago – my precious daughter. It is indescribable agony & pain I never would have thought possible to live through. Like you, I am still here because of Christ alone. God bless you and give you strength. I am praying for you. ♥

      Pam

      • Charla says:

        Pam, I’m sorry that you have had to go through losing your daughter as well. It’s so difficult! I shall continue to pray for you as well. God bless you, dear sister in Christ!! Charla

  7. 107
    Susan says:

    Beth,
    Thank you for this post. I “hear” your heart here. I so love and appreciate you speaking truth to this community. I am so glad God has placed the stewardship of this community in your hands. Can I say that you are doing a mighty fine job! 🙂 Girl, we love you. Thank you for speaking truth into our lives. Susan

  8. 108
    Carrie says:

    Beth,

    I love you so much!!! I love how real you are with all of us! Breaking Free was my very first bible study ever and I have been hooked ever since! You are so real in your studies while teaching us so much about the Bible. I was always so afraid of ever opening the Bible, I did not think it was possible for me to understand anything in it. Since then I have done several of your studies and some from a other authors as well. I look forward to doing Breaking Free again…I feel like I have grown so much since that first study. I think I can get rid of even more of my strongholds now! Thank you for all that you do and for helping me to realize that the Bible really isn’t that scary!

    I thank you for this blog as well! It’s so nice to be able to come on here to see glimpses of your everyday lives. I like knowing I’m not a lone. We all have our ups and downs. I can really relate to Amanda since I am in a similar stage of life. The Mama support from you is wonderful and quite honestly I am amazed that you have any time to get on here at all with your busy schedule! When I first started reading the blog I thought for sure you just had some one in your office that moderated the comments. I thought there was no way you would have the time to be so active on here. You do so much for all of us. Siestaville is a really fun place to be! Thank you for taking the time to be here for us! Thank you to Amanda and Melissa too for taking time out of their busy days for us as well!

    You have taught me so much…In the Bible and just about everyday life with God. Thank you!

    Love, Carrie

  9. 109
    Joelle says:

    Thank you so much for your blog tonight. I really appreciate the story of your Nanny – I love that older generation, the strength, personality and love of a folk we miss. Thanks for the reminder of it. Thank you to for the part of growing spiritually. I have recently started delving head first into the Word and since have been attacked through several close relationships. It is nice to know that He is growing my faith even during times of attack.
    s
    Your studies are such a blessing and I can not wait for the new “A Heart Like His”. (I actually have the original one but have not gotten to it yet, should I wait and just do the revised?) I am almost through my 90 days with Jesus, and am LOVING it.

    God bless you all and have a safe and happy 4th!

  10. 110
    Jessica says:

    This is a great post! A gentle rebuke, a good story, humor, conviction… all rolled into one big ‘ol hug! We feel the love. Thanks for being real.
    Jessica

  11. 111
    Lahna says:

    I am about 10 years older than you, but you are my “mama.” Figure that one out.

    You are so real–that’s what I love about you. Oh, and that you make me laugh,and your spork-combed hair, and you talk with your hands, and your passion.

    My mother is 89 now, and she says stuff like your grandmother on a regular basis. She has trouble with “ferners,” too. I took her shopping recently, and she managed to insult every minority group that exists. I don’t know if anyone heard her, but I heard people giggle when she pointed out that the purse I showed her was “too old” for her. I asked just how old a person would have to be for the purse to suit them.

    My mother is “Nanny” to us, too. I named my daughter after her and my mother-in-law. Their first names are Bertha and Gertrude. I told everyone I was naming her Bertie Gertie. I didn’t of course, I used their middle names which are much prettier.

    Glad to see that so many others are sitting around blogging and checking LPM after 9:00 p.m. at night. I love reading about others’ stories. It makes me feel normal.

    Happy 4th to all in Siestaville.

  12. 112
    Sandy says:

    Gorgeous and complex thats my savior….That I would not of known had you not stumbled through writing all those studies.Thank you.

  13. 113
    Alta Blake says:

    Beth,this is why we all love you so much…you are the REAL DEAL! I appreciate your loving us so much you would choose to set boundaries for this blog community to make it safe and glorifying to God…always”)Then the story of yur Nanny and Grandfather was precious…loved that you shared it with us…and what it means to you…priceless!
    I am sure this time in your life looking back through the studies you are revising is more than amazing…though HIS WORD never changes…we do. My constant prayer is, “Lord don’t leave to myself”…I’m never going to be anymore than what He is in me working through me to shine light in the darkness…making a difference in others life. His mercy and grace for us is ‘out-of-this-world’
    It sure is an ‘all by faith’ deal!!! Simply because it is so hard to believe He could love us that much…and He does”) frailities,weaknesses and all. He is the best!!!
    Lord bless you sweet girl. Meet you at the finish line!

  14. 114
    Debbie from Mississippi says:

    Beth,

    I haven’t posted here before, but faithfully read many of the postings and comments. It is so encouraging to see many women with the same struggles that I have faced. I have done most of your Bible studies. I am so grateful for your transparency about your pain and struggles. You are a blessing to me and many of my friends. We love you to pieces!! (I think that is a Southern saying, too)!!

    I hope you have a wonderful Independence holiday. God Bless America!!

  15. 115
    Joan V says:

    Beth…. thank you for opening up, putting yourself out there, and bringing God’s word to us. You can’t imagine how much your ministry has touched my life this year (it makes me teary eyed thinking about it now).

    You are awesome. Thank you for your post tonight and creating this community. Also thanks for picking that Ruth study for this summer. It’s uncanny right now how it applies to my current circumstances.

    God bless you in all you do.

  16. 116
    lara says:

    “Lord protect me from myself.” How. I. Know. This. Thank you, siesta mama. 🙂

  17. 117
    Cory says:

    Beth,
    I appreciate the humility and honesty you share with us as you live your faith and your life in front of so many. It is encouraging to me and, I might add, challenging, as well. So many things you share, challenge me to search my heart and life. Am I being ‘real’ with God–with people?? He’s the one who matters most, but am I living my faith in Him humbly and honestly before loved ones, friends, even strangers. Oh I pray He finds me faithful. “Find us Faithful” is one of my most favorite songs. The words speak volumes to me.
    Have a blessed weekend!!!
    Love, Cory 🙂

  18. 118
    Tara Dew says:

    Mama Beth,

    Thank you for your ministry, both in Siestaville and beyond. You truly are a transparent, real, genuine servant of our Lord, and I have learned so much through your testimony and discipleship in the 9 years I’ve been doing your studies. I love how you love the Lord, and how you love His Word. It is contagious.

    The first study that I ever did was “A Heart Like His”…and I loved it! It is still probably my favorite one that I’ve done. Your hair was a riot, but your style and presentation of the material was nothing like I had ever done before. I praise the Lord for how He used you through that study then and how He has continued to sharpen you over the years. But please don’t beat yourself up about not telling everything- What you shared was plenty and you were still being more real than most other authors. So refreshing.

    I was a regular commenter when you all were on Blogger, but have yet to comment since your switch over to WordPress. I love to read your posts, but have often felt like since I can’t read and comment on everyone else’s comments, then I wasn’t really part of the community anymore. I’m sorry that I even though that. Thank you for your boundaries and encouragement on here today. I needed that to get back on board!

    So grateful for you and all you do. May you have a relaxing and rejuvenating 4th! Many blessings and much love to you!

  19. 119
    Georgia Jan says:

    Beth: Well, “I’ll suwanne” as my Granny would say, Minnie Ola and Ida Christine (my Granny) were cut from the same cloth. I never knew what “I’ll suwanee” meant – but I loved her to pieces. I just posted her peach cobbler recipe on my blog, and I know I inherited her green thumb. My other Granny, Mary Ruth, birthed 11 children and buried 3 – two within a few days of each other in the great fever epidemic of 1918. You’re so right – all of them buried together near her in the cemetery.

    Beth, when I pictured you going face down and crying out to God and saying I’m sorry, it was almost more than I could bear. I’m thankful you found that missing element that broke your heart, but your broken heart broke mine. I just can’t bear for you to hurt.

    Do you KNOW that God used you in the seasons of your early writing in just as powerful of ways that He has of late? Your life and ministry has meant more to my walk in the Word and as a pastor’s wife than anything I know. I Thank God I’m not the same woman I was. I can go back 12 years and look through my homework in those early ones and then look at the more recent studies, and see my walk of growing in grace. It also helps that I’m 52 years old and not so hard-headed as I was, so I can “learn something.”

    This blog brings me such joy and I don’t feel any pressure here. If anything, I’m too long-winded, and I apologize for that. Thank you for the admonishment that we can’t be everything to everyone and that people can play us. I learned so much in our “Loving Well” retreat that has helped me deal with that truth. Sometimes I can just feel it in my gut and I can do the “four questions” so I don’t get punked.

    I’ve been praying lately that God would just sweeten me up. I sure do love you friend.

    (((((((HUG FROM GJ TO BETH)))))))

    I know it cain’t happen, but I just wish I had my 25 year old body and energy to go with my 52 year old learnin’ heart and mind. And that my friend is narry a lie.

    • 119.1
      Beth says:

      HI GJ!!!! Yes! My grandmother said “I suwanne” all the time! I had no idea how to spell it. Do you think it is a contraction for “I swear” which of course they wouldn’t have dared??? Thank you for your gracious heart toward me. It was just one of those weeks. I love you, too. So so much. Wish we could take a walk together today. Jesus is so worthy of all our attention.

      • Georgia Jan says:

        Bethie – I really do think it meant “Well I swear.” And she used to say “forty-eleven” when she was saying how many times she had done something or another. She was a mess. She would tear our tails up with a switch in a heartbeat. We loved her but he were “scairt” of her too. I can’t imagine spanking my grands.

        It has been a week – yes mam. Oh, I would love a walk with you – “lordymercy.” That was another Granny saying – “well, lordymercy.” Been meditating on John 15 – apart from Him I can do nothing – and then verse 9 about abiding in His love.

        • Joelle says:

          That is too funny – I say fourty’leven now, and my almost 3 year old said it to me the other day. We also say old stuff like Bump on a log. My husband always tells me that I am an old lady in a 35 year olds body. I will take it! To God I am eternal, thanks to His grace! Thanks for not making me feel out of place here ya’ll.

    • 119.2
      Kathy B says:

      Miss Jan, (may I call you that?) if you were to get any sweeter, I declare, we’d have to go and make peach cobbler out’a you.
      I’m so tickled at your use of the word “punked”.
      I keep looking around to see if someone’s going to try to fix my hair in a psychodelic color scheme. Sort of like when I tried to use “peace out” as my farewell repsonse to my 19yr old daughter. She shook her head and said, “That’s just wrong on so many levels.” I think I’ll give punked a try today. Thanks for expanding my vocabulary 😉
      Happy 4th!

      • Georgia Jan says:

        Hey Kathy! Actually, Beth taught on getting punked at Deeper Still in Orlando last fall – some of the most practical and useful instruction ever. In fact, Lifeway recently released it as a study from that event with Beth and Kay Arthur and Priscilla Shirer. I highly recommend it.

        Yes, call me Miss Jan – all the kids at church do and have for years.

        Much love,
        Jan

        • Kathy B says:

          Thank you my dear. Though I’m no kid 😉 I’m pretty sure we’re nearly the same age. You just seem to ooze wisdom. You know, a good ooze, in a sun ripened piece of fruit kind of way.

          I will definitely look into the Orlando Deeper Still. Then maybe I can avoid getting punked today.
          Love,
          Kathy

  20. 120
    Carole Anne says:

    Oh but Beth! The fact that you can look back and be willing to make those changes to your books reiterates to the rest of us that spiritual growth never ends if nurtured correctly. For you to pick up a book you wrote 17 years ago and NOT see anything that needs updating would almost suggest that you were still in the place you were in when you wrote it. Hope this blurry explanation makes sense to you!

  21. 121
    Denise says:

    As always your words bring tears to my eyes. Thank the Lord Almighty that He has freed all who either seek it ( or some such as I, that sadly needed a sifting). Thank you for sharing your heart.

  22. 122
    marylee says:

    Mama Beth,
    Can you stand one more comment from me? I’m with your hubby on the Minnie Moore thing, is Amanda glad she’s not Minnie Moore? Would you believe my grandfather’s first full name was John the Baptist, and they called him Bat for short?! I still scratch my head every time I think of it…I hope you know how much of a blessing you are, and how much your loved. I haven’t yet had the privilige of doing those studies but I know because Jesus always shines so beautifully thru you I’d be blessed! Love ya lots!

  23. 123
    Sandy says:

    I can’t comment a lot, because. . .I’ve got to get off this computer and get to bed, and get up in the morning to take my son to depart on his mission trip to Cardiff, Wales. If you feel urged to, I would really appreciate you remembering him and us in your prayers.

    Beth, I’ve been thinking a lot about our Grandmas lately, too, because I am one!

    Beth, I first felt connected with you when I heard you at a Ladies Retreat, before you were famous. Then, I have read a lot of your books and studies. Before So Long, Insecurity, the one that ministered to me the most and changed my prayer life was the prayer journal,
    Whispers of Hope. I am still growing and learning.

    Thank you for this post, and all of them. Thank you for speaking your heart. We do not want to lose this blog.
    Thank you, also for dooing the Summber Bible Study!
    Love you!

  24. 124
    Sandy says:

    oops! You know I meant doing the Summer Bible Study! Trying to hurry before my husband gets upset with me!

  25. 125
    Fran says:

    Oh I thank you Beth for this. My problem is I love deeply. I care deeply. My heart is just wide open when it comes to being there for people and loving them and encouraging them.
    Sometimes this can be a “not so good thing” for me. I hit these ruts of not being able to be there for people and it kills me.

    Thanks for speaking so deeply into my great big ole heart. 😉 I’m being reminded that it is ok and I needed that right this second.

    Have a glorious weekend. Have some fun and laugh a whole bunch. I plan on it.

    Big hugs!
    Fran

  26. 126
    Adrienne Perkins says:

    Beth,
    A Woman’s Heart, God’s Dwelling Place was the first time I had discovered Living Proof Ministries. It was a life changing journey for me! God so graciously took me by the hand and led me down a path that brought me to my knees – repeatedly. Tears flowing like a waterfall. Sobbing. His presence was so overwhelming in those 10 weeks, at times I had to close the book and beg Him to show up a little less because I just didnt think I could possibly take any more and still live! It was beautiful, He is Beautiful.
    Whatever part of your personal testimony that you left out of that study, I didn’t notice.
    Thank you for loving Jesus with all your heart!

  27. 127
    MaKay says:

    Beth,

    It is so wonderful to get these blog posts and see glimpses of a real life, and not just a personality.

    God has gifted you in such a wonderful way to be able to share and express yourself. I am so thankful that I stumbled across your little siestaville here.

    It is an encouragement to this weary Mom & Yaya.

  28. 128
    Chesney says:

    Miss Beth,

    The way you love Jesus makes me love Him more! I grew up to Mom and Dad watching you on T.V, so to be with them would sit next to them and watch. Now I do your studies all the time because the way you talk about Him and the way you express Him and your deep love for Him make me want even more of Him.
    Thank you for sharing what you know about Him, and for helping me grow in my love for Him.
    I love you dearly!

    Chesney Crouch

    P.S…I know this wasn’t a post about the Ruth study, but if you read this I am sure you would be delighted to know Jesus is ROCKING our little group of three 17-18 yr. olds. I wasn’t sure how it would work with us being on the younger side of the groups, but Jesus is really being amazing!…like always 😉

  29. 129
    Lauren says:

    Thanks not just to you, Beth, but to all here on Siestaville… I was introduced to your studies at the beginning of the year by a friend at work, and I love what God does through you. You make the Word come alive and make it simple and real in a way that I had not seen before… and I have been in church all my life. Most of all, you are real yourself. I’ve been following this blog for a while off and on, and just recently started commenting as we started the Ruth study, which I am really enjoying. Keep up the good work, and thanks for having this forum for me to hear such encouraging words from others who love Christ!

  30. 130
    Cindie says:

    Siestas…I have a huge favor. The Senior Pastor of Northland – A Church Distributed in Longwood, Fl has a 5 year old granddaughter who just had surgery for a glioblastoma. The statistics are not good, but our God can defy statistics…could you all please pray for this little girl and her family. Her name is Ava and her parents are asking for prayer.
    Thank you

    • 130.1
      Beth says:

      Oh, Jesus, our Savior and Healer, please rush to Ava with healing in Your wings! Please grant her and her parents wonders so obvious that they know you are there.

    • 130.2
      Kristi Walker says:

      Gracious Heavenly Father,

      You are all things and love us so much more than we know. I know that you’re watching over Ava and have her in Your sweet healing hands. I pray the healing blood of Jesus over Ava, and peace that passes all understanding over her family. May their hearts be at peace and healing come quickly. In Jesus’ name I ask, Amen.

      My family will be praying over you guys. Please keep us posted Cindie. Blessings, Kristi

    • 130.3
      Sandy says:

      I am praying for this little girl and her family!

    • 130.4
      Joelle says:

      Praying for Ava and her family – remember Eph. 3:20 Now unto him that is able to do exceeding abundantly above all that we ask or think, according to the power that worketh in us.

      Lord I know that you are able, and if it be your will…

  31. 131
    Shon Tetik says:

    First of all, thank you from yet another siesta. Thank you for being you. Open, honest and in love with our Lord. So often our scars are not quite ready to to be revealed to the world. Even when writing a Bible study! And now you are free to share as He leads. “Thank you,” seems an inadequate response for the transformation in my own spiritual life after completing the updated Breaking Free. Beth, I am not the same person, praise God! Thanks for being a “mama” to so many. I have to laugh because I have often said to the girls in my study group, “I just feel like I should call her, “Miss Beth” or “Rabbi Beth.” Ha! But you’ve named yourself, so Mama Beth you will be! Bless you, darlin’ lady!

  32. 132
    Danielle says:

    I just enjoy reading your words, Beth Moore! You are just beautiful inside and out! And God is spectacular! Thank you for the constant encouragement, and reminder to keep my sights on Jesus!

  33. 133
    Leslie Veronee says:

    Beth, thank you for your transparency! It is so refreshing! I appreciate you addressing the things that you did. have a wonderful 4th. i am really enjoying the ruth bible study and love all you beautiful women in siestaville!

  34. 134
    Gabby says:

    I appreciated your note today!! Thank you for that reminder. I also love your honesty and transparency. Something I’m continuously being encouraged (by God) in at this stage of my life.

    Thanks for your notes of encouragement. I appreciate the work you do!

  35. 135
    Kristy says:

    Sweet Mama Beth,
    I honor you for your honesty of where you were when writing A Heart Like His. I can tell you that our precious God used it tremendously in my life. It may be that those of us that took it weren’t ready then for what you now will share and we know how to receive. We know you now and your heart and your desire for us to know Christ above all things. Thank you for keeping it real, it makes it so much easier to know that truth in our inmost parts is truly beautiful, we see it in you.

  36. 136
    kimberly says:

    Oh Mama Beth what amazing truth! To God be the glory! Amen and Amen!!

  37. 137
    Jeanette says:

    Good thoughts. I agree. Have a great 4th of July. Don’t eat too many Hot dogs….Love ya Jeanette

  38. 138
    Michelle says:

    Thank you Beth. That is God and Praises to Him:)

  39. 139
    Kelly says:

    I can almost hear your sweet southern accent while reading your posts. Very cute!
    I love you to pieces for your total honesty. I love real people. Thank you for all you are willing to do for the Lord.

  40. 140
    campbell6 says:

    Exactly. All of it. Hope your breaths are deeper now that the weight is gone. Enjoy your weekend. May we all stay teachable, full of mercy and grace, full of His unfailing love and emptied of ourselves. And thanks, Amanda, for all of the comment moderation. I know it can’t be easy with your little ones underfoot. Eat some chocolate!

  41. 141
    Becky Roode says:

    Mama B, though I have never met you or spoken with you, you have been a spiritual mentor to me (and I continue to “introduce” you to my “girls” and the Holy Spirit truly speaks through you to them…it’s so exciting to see!). Thank you for your honesty and humility. And I so know that is from Christ, because I will be driving down the road talkin’ to God and out of nowhere it will come clear as crystal, “Where did that pride come from? What was with you, woman?” God uses us in our weakness, doesn’t He? If people only knew. Well, sometimes it’s good for them to know and other times it’s best left between us and our Lord. I’ve learned so much from studying the word of God through your tutelage…did I even spell that right? 😀 Thank you so much for surrendering your life to God’s will and His call. He has touched so many lives through that surrender. Praise His name!
    Enjoy a wonderful Independence Day, mama!!

  42. 142
    Linda says:

    Dear Beth,
    “A Heart Like His” was the first study of yours that I did. I had not done anything like it before. I must tell you that that study saved my life. I was in such a scary place at the time and for some reason I signed up to do this Bible Study with Women’s Ministry from my church. God just grabbed a hold of me and showed me how much He loves me during that study. I must tell you that there is a spot in the video where you walk away from your podium and talk right to the camera. Well, I felt you were talking right to me and I half way believe that if I would watch the videos again, that part would not be there. I know that message was for me. It was exactly what I needed to know and hear at that exact moment in my life. Praise God! I cried reading your post (and I’m still crying) because I’m so thankful to God for sending you into my life and for all of your studies, but “A Heart Like His” will always hold a special place in my heart. God used you exactly as He wanted to. One of the many things that I love about you is that you are so honest with us. And that you always give God the praise for what you do. You have made so many women want to love God the way you love God. Passionately! And by the way, I am now the leader of my church’s Women’s Ministry. I want to reach and help other women the way I have been helped. I love you Beth Moore! Thank you for all that you do.

  43. 143
    April says:

    Thank you so much for this post. It was a blessing. I just got done reading A Heart Like His and I really really loved it. I had never actually really bothered to ever sit down and read about David. I was raised in church my whole life and “knew” of David but I didnt ever really “KNOW” David. To me that book is wonderful. On another note, I have to say thank you so much from the bottom of my heart for this blog. There has been days when I read it and it lifts me up and is that umph that I need, then there are days when I just sit back and cry. I am learning so much from you and all the wonder SIESTA’S on here.

    My life has been a real rough one. I was raised in church and at the age of 8 I was molested by my mother’s husband. Then at the age of 16 I was molested by our youth Pastor. After that I pretty much said “FORGET THIS CHURCH AND LORD STUFF” and I went off on my own way. I came back years ago and its been a battle. I am now doing our SSBS and I am learning ALOT and I just want to say THANK YOU!! I wish with all my heart that I had a group to go through it with but I am loving diving into her story. I am striving to be like Christ everyday even though I will admit its been really hard for me lately. Anyways, I have go on and on to long now..HAHA. So I will finish this now but I hope you all have a WONDERFUL 4th and Please if you wouldnt mind….Tell a Soldier Thank you for what they do. I know they would appreciate it!!!! I am a Military spouse and I know that for my husband it makes him smile when someone says thank you for your service!!! GOD BLESS AMERICA and GOD BLESS OUR WONDERFUL SAVIOR FOR WITHOUT HIM I AM NOTHING!

  44. 144

    Wow. That was long, but oh so good! And oh so real! I am going to have to reread it tomorrow…I enjoyed it that much! Happy 4th of July!

  45. 145
    Shelly says:

    I do not have the words to say what this post has meant to me, on every topic. Thank you.

  46. 146
    carla says:

    My grandpa barely had a fourth grade education (depression oldest of nine, farmer) but I think he is smartest man I ever knew. He did not read very well(did not occur to me until later in life) so my brother and I read him the Bible every time we would visit. He told us about Jesus and how no matter what He would always love us. Just thought I would share that. Missing him this 4th of July as he went to be with Jesus 5 years ago today. Thanks for this blog Beth. Enjoy you and your family. Happy 4th Beth!

  47. 147
    elvira says:

    Thanks for your post here today, Beth! I HAVE to check everyday on here to see what you and everyone else has said. I’m on Facebook, but I’m considering going off and just coming here. This is such a blessing to me!
    My Mother has lung cancer, I flew to be with her for a few days last week, it was so hard, I love her so much!
    My husband keeps quoting Psalm 139:16, to me:
    “All the days ordained for me
    were written in your book
    before one of them came to be.”

    Love you!!!

  48. 148
    Elisabeth says:

    Oh, Queen (and Mama!) Beth,
    I can’t believe it’s possible to appreciate you any more than yesterday. But I do today! First, I have to tell you the coolest thing. When I decided recently to jump in and begin commenting more I was fighting severe emotions and thought patterns of insignificance. Guess what? I’ve made new Siesta friends from Africa, Brazil, Canada, and all over the place because they found my blog through here. Boy did I need that and it is amazing to see how much I can come to love them and you even though none of us has gotten to hug each other’s sweet necks. Blows my mind so much. Only the body. Thank u for being protective of that. We need that!

    K. I have to say thank u for everything u say about the older version of the study. I’ve been worried I’m too open and raw about my journey as I write through it on my blog. Today you’ve confirmed that I would be robbing someone out there of something important by trying to sugar coat and smooth things. I am recieving that and choosing to go with it. After all, it is our ground to walk in confidence on and trust to His glory. Thanks for teaching me that lately. (watching The Inheritance.) Have an incredible weekend. Love you so!

    -Your ” Princess” Beth

  49. 149
    Mary says:

    Dear Sweet Beth, I am so thankful that God has lead me to your ministry. I pretty much think we can compare our life’s journeys and will find so much in common. Thank you for sharing your stories, May God Bless you and your beautiful family. Mary

  50. 150
    Tara G. says:

    I read it all.

    I love you, Beth!

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