Hey, Sweet things!
It’s Friday afternoon before a holiday weekend and I’ve had a really full but good day. Not that great a week, really, but a mighty good day. God woke me up with a release this morning from something that has been pressing on my heart. I just sort of heard a “Stop it” from God so I decided to stop it. Anyway, I thought I’d end the work week up visiting with you guys a bit before we lock this place up for three days. I will probably say hi before the weekend is over but I’ll have to see how the unplanned festivities go. For now, it is pouring a deluge in South Texas so whatever we’re doing, it is decidedly not out doors. No telling what my two dogs have done to my house while I’ve been at work today. (Star, my Border Collie, has been keeping Geli, Keith’s bird dog, company lately when the really hot weather prevents Keith from taking her with him in his truck. I can’t bring both of them to work without mass pandemonium.)
Before I head to another topic, I want to tell you that you really knocked it out on that last post and I’m so proud of you. Way to tell a girl how she can know God loves her. I watched some real live ministry take place on that last post (and so many others before it). I believe in the ministry that takes place here. I couldn’t have fathomed it in advance but our gracious God has lurked here and so many other places on the web and I am so much the better off for it. You know, you guys are the only reason I’ve never done the Facebook thing. I’ve always wanted to. Are you kidding? What sanguine wouldn’t? But I thought I’d end up getting so distracted by it that I’d lose my vision here. I’m so blessed to be a part of you and, for now, you are one of my biggest serving priorities.
And that’s the reason why I need to stop and say something in protection of this precious, hardworking, sincere and tenderhearted community. We exist to encourage one another to know Jesus Christ as personal Savior and to follow hard after Him. We love big doses of healthy, good, clean fun. We love to laugh. We don’t mind having a good hard cry together. BUT, we can’t consistently be a ton more than that. We can’t replace face-to-face families to many people and certainly don’t exist to take the place of our local churches. Few of us are confused about that. Here’s why I’m bringing all this up. I don’t want you to start getting worn out here or start feeling like there’s such a heavy weight of responsibility that you can’t even bear to log in. I don’t want you feeling guilty or condemned because you couldn’t read every single person’s comment. None of us can. None of us can be anybody’s everything. Let me say that again:
None of us can be anybody’s everything.
To attempt it is to play Christ. To demand it is to expect somebody else play Christ. Minister here freely and freely feel ministered to. Freely give, freely receive, the Scriptures would tell us. But do not let this place become a burden or a form of bondage to you. I just can’t have that. I speak for most of us when I say that what I write here on these posts is to every single one of you, new and old. You do the same when you write general responses. When you or I get a chance to shout something out to someone in a comment, it is never because we found her worthier than anybody else. I don’t have favorites on here. I really don’t as much as we sometimes tease. You don’t either. I also don’t get to read every single comment. Neither does Melissa or Amanda. Neither do most of you. Please know that this community exists to bring you encouragement. Not to add to your insufferably long list of things to do nor, worse yet, to add to a feeling of insignificance. Lord, forbid it. All of you are so loved and welcomed here. I would be heartsick for anybody to get on this blog that was formed to build you up and feel torn down.
By all means, please let your Siestas know when you legitimately need prayer and edification or just a big fat hug. Ask your questions! (I LOVED Erica’s question!) Seek some solid insight! Get together on the side. That’s what this place is for. But I say this to anyone with an intense emotional issue (Believe me, I’ve been there and have sought sound Godly counsel and highly recommend it): please don’t demand more (and more and more) from this sincere community than most women on here can give. Please be careful not take advantage of my girls here in Siestaville. They’ll bend over backwards for you. Don’t put more on them than they can handle or expect of them what they can’t deliver. It is my responsibility to be protective of this community. With all my heart I pray that this will remain one of the very few places in many of our lives where we don’t have to feel guilty and like we’re not enough for people. Please, not here. I say that with love. And if your comments get posted on these entries, you’re probably not who I’m talking about. Let me say frankly that there is a reason why we moderate comments.
Ladies, as you minister on your own blogs and as you participate here, please keep in mind that people can play you. One way you’ll know is if they just keep on and on with it and no answer and no encouragement ever suffices. Sometimes you can just feel it in your gut. That doesn’t mean they don’t need love and prayer and attention. It just means you don’t need to get caught up in a loop. We aren’t meant to take the place of professional counselors.
I love you guys so much. God has placed the stewardship of this community in my hands. I’m the Mama here. And sometimes mamas have to lay some boundaries. This is for your protection.
OK, some of you may not be able to get past that but for those of you who can, this is the real reason why I got on here today. I don’t know why but I’ve been thinking a lot about my grandmother lately. Maybe it’s because I’m a grandmother now and I’ve seen some life come full circle. Whatever the reason, she’s been in my thoughts more than usual recently. My grandmother was widowed when my mom was just fourteen. Four years later, Mom met my Dad and fooled around and eloped with him. When they got back to town, my mother’s mom got revenge I suppose by moving right in with them. She didn’t move out until her mansion was ready in Heaven. I was sixteen years old at the time. Translation? She lived with my siblings and me all our young lives. And, boy, was she a character.
Her name was Minnie Ola Rountree. With a smirk on my face, 30 years ago I suggested to Keith that we name our first daughter after her but he didn’t go for it. Minnie Moore. Don’t you think that would have been darling? Anyway, to us she was “Nanny.” (Not our first child. My maternal grandmother.) She was born before the turn of the 20th Century and lived long enough to ride a horse-driven carriage to town and watch a man walk on the moon. She believed until the day she died that we had a party line (you young Siestas don’t even know what that is. It’s not direct dial to Party City) and would stand over us when we talked on the phone for more than five minutes and say, “Get off that phone! Someone’s probably needin’ an ambu-lance with you on there chewing the fat!”
There were eight of us in all and by the time Dad would let us get two phones in the house (on the same number, of course), Nanny decided if she couldn’t beat us, she’d join us. We’d be on one phone with our boyfriends and she’d be on the other just listening in. You’d walk through the kitchen and there she’d be, sipping on her perked coffee, tuning in like it was her business. Oh, man, she dearly loved gossip. Watched her “stories” on the black and white from noon til 3:00 and only President Kennedy better interrupt her and, even then, it better be good.
She’d been raised in the country and mostly by her big sister. Her second parent was cold in the grave before she was out of grade school. Once a tall, educated man happened through those parts and took a liking to her and married her before she could think better of it. I guess she loved him more than anything in her entire life. His name was Micajah Rountree. They had seven children together. And buried three of them. Under two and a half years-old. Can you even comprehend it? She told me once that every woman she knew with a large family had gone through the terrible agony of at least one loss. They couldn’t have imagined medical care like we have today. In the cemetery where she is buried, she is one of many moms laid to rest near the graves of infants. It’s almost too much to bear to see.
But they had many good times together, too. My grandfather was quite the catch, becoming a mighty fine lawyer and serving in State government. He probably would have been a man of means if not for the Great Depression. Family legends made him bigger than life to me and, even though I never knew him, I set out to be just like him, majoring in political science and minoring in English. God ended up having other plans but not before the man’s legacy had left his mark. I am told he never saw his left palm for a book in his hand. My mom was just like him. I am just like her. Amanda and Melissa are just like me. We live to read. We are so amused that Annabeth can’t put a book down. Rountree blood has trickled down five generations.
My grandmother was a smart woman but her formal education did not quite match her man’s. We moved that woman out of the country but we never moved the country out of that woman. And we are so glad. She used sayings that my siblings and I still employ on a continual basis. When we moved all the way from Arkansas to Houston, Texas (I was 15), her world split wide open. She’d never been to a city you could call a melting pot. She’d say, “Don’t them ferners beat all!” Ferners = someone born in a different country. Of course, what Amanda and I love best about Houston is that it’s such a glad mix of ferners but that’s our taste. Nanny didn’t quite know what to do with such a big world. She never understood that they were just as American as she was.
My favorite thing she ever said – and she said it CONSTANTLY – was this: “Some folks, you just can’t learn ’em nothin’.” (Please use a long “a” sound on the “can’t.” It’s more like “cain’t.”)
I don’t want to be one of them folks that you can’t learn nothin. I want to keep learning as long as I live. Don’t you?
Now that I’ve talked on this long, I might as well tell you what’s kind of had me down this week. For the last several months, we’ve been working on the up-dated version of “A Heart Like His.” (Do not even talk to me about my hair in that video. Believe it or not, I did not do that hair. Another story for another time. Anyway, I happen to really love who fixed that hair so I’m going to keep my mouth shut.) I’ve enjoyed being back in the study of the life of David so much. Scripture doesn’t get any wilder or richer or more applicable than 1st and 2nd Samuel. What’s gotten to me over the last few weeks is not what I said in the original written version (17 years ago!). It’s what I didn’t say. Lord have mercy, I had just come out of one of the worst trials of my entire life. I cannot even express the pain I’d been through or the defeat that had threatened to engulf me. But try as you might, you could not find a single hint of it. (My Nanny would say, “Narry a hint.”)
“Woman,” I said to myself as I was recently reading through the original version and updating it, “Where on earth is your testimony about the grace of God over your pitiful, messed up life? Huh? Huh?” At one point, I read such a down-played version of some misery that I’d been in that I wrote out in the margin, “Rewrite, you big liar!”
It wasn’t really a lie. But it didn’t even begin to measure my true estate. As I’ve read over some of the early writings, I can still see a woman who wasn’t sure she could yet be herself. Thank God, the Scriptures speak loudly and clearly and they’re all we really need. But most of us could use a teacher who owns up to her own struggles and own defeats. Most of us need to know we’re in this together. Way back when I originally wrote “A Heart Like His,” I think I was too close to the fresh graces of God to truly recognize them. I hear a crescendo after that in studies like “To Live is Christ” but, not coincidentally, I don’t hear the full throttle, volume 10 testimony of what God had done for me until “Breaking Free.” There’s an obvious reason for that.
For some reason that missing element broke my heart yesterday. I’d teared up over it several times as I edited “A Heart Like His” but finally yesterday I just got up from my desk, went face down on the floor and bawled my eyes out before God. “I am so, so sorry.”
Praise His Name, He really does grow us up in knowledge and in grace. He is so patient. So merciful. But just in case some of you have only done one of the earliest unrevised Bible studies and didn’t hear it as clearly as you should have, hear me clearly today: GOD IS THE ONLY REASON WHY I CAN HOLD MY HEAD UP LONG ENOUGH TO DRAW A BREATH. ANYTHING IN MY LIFE OF VALUE IS FROM HIM ALONE. HE IS MY DECENCY. HE IS MY ONLY HONOR. WITHOUT HIM, I’M A TOTAL WRECK. I DO NOT DESERVE TO BE IN MINISTRY. I DID NOT EARN IT. ALL THAT I HAVE TO OFFER IS HIM.
He’s it. Plain and simple. Gorgeous and complex.
Some folks, you just cain’t learn ’em nothin.’ And I don’t want to be one of them. Lord, protect me from myself.
“But grow in the grace and knowledge of our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ. To Him be glory both now and forever! Amen.” 2 Peter 3:18
Siesta Beth, You are precious. Simply delightfully precious. Your tender heart and love for God is contagious. I love you girlfriend!
Rhonda
As a young woman fresh out of the biggest pit of my 29 years (you have no idea how big)…thank you for your honesty. Tonight, when I’m tempted to feel as though my past “mess” has left me incapable of anything that’s actually worth something, thank you for showing me just how capable HE IS.
Hope has welled up in places that I thought were as good as dead.
Thank you for your authenticity.
Beth,
I have listened to you ever so closely over the past few years. I do not take well to change, and to hear our ladies ministry director (also my best friend) tell it, I am also stubborn. So when she first introduced you to me I was hesitant at best, but I have come to trust and admire your teaching greatly. The more I learned about you the more our lives seem to be incredibly parallel. I just want you to know that God is using you mightily not only in my life, but in my daughters, and in people around me. Thank you for being such an honest willing servant.
Thank you for your honesty as well as your guidance and boundaries regarding blogging. I always admire the way you lead and teach us how to be a blog community.
Your first few lines including, “stop it” reminded me of a clip I saw yesterday. In case you are interested here is a clip of Bob Newhart – Stop it! (Although it rings truth it is obviously just a humorous clip not meant to be traded for godly counselling.)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=T1g3ENYxg9k
Thank you Beth. You rock! Thank you for reminding us about the importance of boundaries.
Oh Miss Beth, my sweet precious grandmama (who’s passed away and was the best friend I’ve ever had) — her name was MINNIE OLA.
Her mom was Minnie Lee. She was a traveling preacher at the turn of the century when she met her future husband, also a preacher, at a tent revival.
THEY WERE TEENAGERS.
(Floors me when I look at most teenagers today.) I have their letters where they’d wrote back and forth – this was their courtship – and in which he proposed and she accepted. I so love the name Minnie Ola… I tried using it in my daughter’s name, but couldn’t quite make Emily Ola or Minnie Grace sound right, so I ended up with Emily Grace…
On the way to the beach years ago I passed a street named “Minnie Ola Lane”. I had my husband turn around and pull over so I could take a picture of it for grandmama. She put it in a place of honor on her refrigerator door… couldn’t believe there was a street in this world with her name on it!! 🙂
She was blind in 1 eye/half blind in the other from falling out of her high chair as a toddler, never went to school past 3rd grade, never learned how to drive…. but knelt on the floor every time she prayed, and read her Bible every single day (hunched over it with a magnifying glass). She’s the one who prayed with me and led me to the Lord. The last couple weeks I’ve been missing her even more than usual. This July 25 will be 4 years since she got to experience perfect eyesight for the first time…
So neat we both had grandmothers with the name Minnie Ola.
Truly, a special name for some mighty special women.
Have a great holiday weekend with your family…
Here’s a ((hug))!
What a great wonder!!!! I love imagining your grandmamma as a preacher and a teenager…and meeting her love doing the same thing! I am telling you there is a new generation for the LORD, So. Oregon for example – check out Ben Courson!!!
Oh, I just love when I read a post and get to a part where I just quickly skim the rest because I’m too excited to respond — and end up just making the point that the author was making anyway. (D’oh!!) 😉
Just call me “Deb, the reiterator” 😉
Humbly walking away from the computer now……
Love!
deb
Hey, Bethie!!!
I am guessing that you probably think I fell off the face of the earth… Actually, I’ve just been reading a lot and not commenting so often… But we’re still here.
I can totally relate to your thoughts about transparency and how all we have to offer folks is Christ. You are sooo very right, my dear sister! All we have to offer is Jesus… nothing else will do.
Hope you guys don’t end up with too much rain… I remember well how it floods down there… I am guessing Braes’ Bayou will be full before the weekend… If it gets too crazy, though, you can always do what a couple of the gymnasts at HBU did when I was there: grab a raft and ride the rapids down Fondren at Beechnut! LOL
Have a Happy Fourth! 🙂
Beth,
You have no idea how much your transparency has so touched me. Thank you so much for actually BEING what He has called us all to be. In love with Him. You are a dear inspiration, so definitely fulfilling what God has called you to do. I would just love to be there when He says to you “Well done, Beth – you have been a good and faithful servant.”!!!
I’m not a fast talker or a fast thinker so many times I don’t leave a post because I have to absorb everything you write, and by the time I get my thoughts together someone has already said what I was thinking. But even though someone has already said as much, I just wanted to say that your Bible studies have helped me so much in my walk with the Lord and in absorbing His Word. Believing God, Breaking Free, and To Live Is Christ all played a part in my “coming back” from severe depression and panic attacks, and in turning complete control of my life over to God. Your honesty about your own struggles and your obvious restoration and love for God and His Word convinced me that I could pray and ask God to help me, too. And HE DID!
I would not even be typing this tonight except for God helping me through your studies. I know about desperation, I know about pits of darkness and despair, and, praise God, I know about seeing the Light when I thought there was no hope for me. Jesus IS the Light of the World!
So any boundaries you want to set are okay with me. I know they come from a pure heart with pure motives. And I can’t wait for the updated “A Heart Like His!”
(BTW, I tried Facebook but found I couldn’t turn down anyone who wanted to be my friend, and then felt I had to keep up with all of them, and my brain became so overwhelmed with everyone’s comings and goings, I finally just shut it down.) 🙂
Beth, I watched on the Daniel video your confession and testimony of your past,and God’s grace. I can confess it too. I’ve taught sunday school for many years (1st,and 2nd grade). I look back at my ignorance,and am so thankful that God allowed me to continue teaching! My journey is different than yours,as my journey is different than other siesta’s. God is awesome in knowing our heart, our potential in Him,and he is so patient. I told the girls in my group that I had done your first studies in your big hair days.: ) And that you must have been going through so much at that time,but in your fire, you continued your ministry. God is a wonderful God. I thank you for listening to God, persevering through your trials and teaching me.
Your grandmothers name reminds me of my mom’s name Eunice Vianna,her mom was Ida Mae,neither name would I give to my girls either! My daughter named her daughter after her husbands grandma whose given name was Mildred but was called Millie. My daughter said “How could anyone one name a precious 7lb baby Mildred?”!!! My granddaughters given name is Millie! Happy 4th Beth,stay dry!
I, too, have been reading your blog for a very long time. I did participate in the Siesta Scripture Memory Team and enjoyed it so much but have never really commented before. I have learned so much from your bible studies and like others have said, they have taught me how to study the bible. I highlighted Psalm 119:18 today in “To Live Is Christ”. “Open my eyes that I may see wonderful things in your law.” I prayed this scripture this morning and asked the Lord to open my eyes so that I may see what he is trying to tell me in the scriptures. Thank you, Beth, for bringing this text to my attention.
I feel like I know you as a close and dear friend…and you are!
I love you so!
Sherry
Beth, thank you for sharing that last part of your blog about your bible studies. I just want you to know that I might not be here if it wasn’t for a couple of your studies. I was in a pit so deep and dark (a pit that has come and gone since I was 10 yr old – I’m 50 now), that i just didn’t think I had the energy to try and raise myself out of it again. And I didn’t have the faith to believe that God would. But you gave me hope, and you showed me how to let God begin to do just that. Fear is my worst enemy, but you are teaching me how to lay it on the altar and ask God to consume it as a sacrifice to Him. I’ve been a Christian for 30 years and no one ever taught me what you have – even in your ‘early’ studies!
I can’t wait to meet you someday in heaven and give you a big hug of thanks for your faithfulness to our God, and His faithfulness in using you (I’m in tears just thinking about it!). God’s blessings to you and your family.
I wasn’t sure where I would be able to put this, but now is as good as any. I couldn’t wait for your summer study as our summer starts earlier than most, living in hot Phoenix, AZ. So after prayer and investigation I chose, Loving Well which was intended for a retreat, I simply sent out a mass email hoping to get a few together. Right! To my surprise I had over 20 signed up to join me in my small living and dining room combined. God gave me creativity to fit everyone in. We’re meeting every other week and having so much fun as well as being convicted to love better through the power of the Holy Spirit. We range from 26-70 years old and are dealing with a range of troubles such as a marriage that is in deep trouble, broken hearts, and desperate financial crisis, so we have much to pray about. But that’s not all, once my church heard I was doing this they asked if they could open it up to the church, no way in my tiny rooms. So I have been leading it at church on another night. Over 30 women signed up. I’m convinced that we really don’t want a break in the summer, just want a little change of pace. Don’t you think?
I couldn’t agree more, Kathy!
Oh thank you for your deep love for us to lay those boundaries. Some of us, probably many of us, don’t have “mamas” who care enough about us to lay any boundaries and teach us how to be wise. I fear that I would be taken because I’ve always been labeled gullible…thank you for the lesson Siesta Mama.
I love siestaville so much. It truly has been a place of encouragement and fellowship for me that certainly does not take the place of face-to-face relationships (although some have grown out of this place!), or church. But has added to my walk of faith. This has been a difficult season for me with the loss of my job and house and now the death of a student. My sisters in Siestaville have lifted me up and I am grateful.
All right, enough about that….gotta tell you my “A Heart Like His” story…….
This study was the 2nd study of yours that I did. It was the first that I did in a group. Our group was just out of college and beginning to start out in life. We were very close, what you’d expect of a group of girlfriends…however, that would not be the right description of us. My first in depth bible study was with a co-ed group. On the old book (the blue and yellow one) across the top of the cover it reads “An in depth woman’s study” (or something like that!). Our guys decided that they could not been seen toting around a workbook that had the word “woman” across the top so with a Sharpie they crossed out the “wo” and left the “men” to read, “A men’s in depth study”!!! It was so fun! And truly, we all were blessed and learned so much going through that study together! Can’t wait to do the new one 🙂
Beth, I love you!
Thank you for your honesty and for your proclamation of God’s sovereignty over everything in your life…including yourself.
I just love you Bethmoore. Thanks for your words…for your grama and for your vulnerability to say it like it is. You really do make the Christian life doable for the rest of us. Love you so much. Happy 4th
amen & amen!
love the quotes from Nanny, by the way!
reminds me of my sweet Nana who is 81.
“I am just saying…thank you Beth for being just who you are and what you have said in today’s blog. God created life for relationship. I love the fellowship that creates Siestaville.
Thank you for taking charge, Siesta Mama and redefining the boundaries and protecting this community of Siestas.
Thank you for sharing about your Minnie Ola Roundtree a.k.a Nanny. I grew up in Northeast Arkansas and have family we visited in Arkadelphia and Eldorado annually.
My widowed grandfather lived with my family several months each year. When he retired for the evening he never said “Good Night”. Instead he always said, “I’m going to the Cotton Patch and See you when the Morning Glories Bloom”. He shared a lot of colorful descriptions for living life.
Most of all Beth I thank you for being vunerable and sharing your life experiences even those that are difficult to talk about. Thank you for teaching me how to share my experiences from observing you and still protect my family members.
You teach as the song was sung from the hymnal of childhood days for anyone to come to Jesus, “Just as I Am without one plea…” Give God what you can and He will bless and use it for His Glory. The more I practice trusting Him and giving what I can, I am able to Trust Him and Give Him More.
When you began Living Proof you gave Him what you had. The more you experienced the more you are able to Give Him. As I heard said, “when you know better you do better”.
I praise God for the mentor you have been and continue to be to me in learning who God can be in my life as I have volunteered and sat under your teachings over the years.
Grace and Peace is a Song I Must sing for the Grace God has showered on me and the Sweet Peace that follows.
Sylvia
Love you so much Beth! Love your honesty and transparency on this post! But trust me on this….NO ONE that truly knows you ever even thinks of questioning your realness cause it’s so dang obvious! I think that any of us that were so fortunate/unfortunate to have ourselves plastered on a video for all the world to see and see and see over again…year after year after year would be dealing with exactly the same thing you’re dealing with. Would any of us want to be what we were 10 yrs ago! NOPE! But most of us do not have more than a photo to look back on! Yep, we all had funny hair and most of us were much skinnier! However, by God’s amazing grace we have all changed – hopefully for the better.
Anytime I repeat a bible study or even re-read a scripture verse – I get totally different messages! Isn’t that how God keeps His word fresh and new each morning!!???
Love you Beth! I pray that you do NOT allow satan a victory in your life in this area! He ain’t worth it!!!
Julie Marler
Amen and amen, I am breathing a sigh of relief while being inspired by one of the most humble, yet God-gifted/equipped women of our time, (yes that would be you, Mrs. Beth Moore, the siesta madre of this blog).
It truly is refreshing to read these blogs and hear from your heart and the hearts of the other siestas, while at the same time be able to share what’s on mine.
I don’t know who reads these, but I do believe that the God of our Universe must, since He knows pretty much what’s on our minds before we utter a single word or, (in this case), type a single letter.
I do have a prayer request. This coming week we’ll be “shopping” for our new home in our new community in Tuscaloosa, AL. I just pray that the Lord will lead us to the home/community where He wants us planted for the next several years.
Perhaps before we leave there, I’ll be able to take part in the new, “A Heart Like His” study, with a new group of sisters in Christ!
I also pray that everyone on here has a safe and restful 4th of July! Happy Birthday America!
I’m just saying…received! Thank you for sharing your heart & being authentic – It is good. God is good.
I’m not sure if I’ve ever actually posted a comment here. I know I’ve started quite a few and for various reason just clear it out and move on. Most times that’s probably the better choice 🙂
I did want to say that A Heart Like His was the first study I ever did, sort of. I had never heard of Beth Moore but this was the study that a women’s Sunday school class was doing at my church. I was a little irritated that they all agreed to meet a little earlier for Sunday School so that they’d have enough time. I remember vividly, slumping down in my chair with my coat wrapped so tightly around me, trying to swallow myself up I guess. Even though I didn’t stick it out for the entire study God began something in me – thankfully He’s still at it!
Mostly, I just wanted to ask ya’ll if you would pray for me, for my marriage. I’ve been married 21 years to a man who I now realize probably never really wanted to marry me, he was just doing the responsible, honorable thing. Until just recently I always thought what we had was real but now I wonder. Neither of us has moved out and probably never will. But he’s already left me in every other way.
Thank you
Elizabeth,
I have read from several siestas who seem to be going through similar valleys. I am so sorry for your current situation. I am not in that situation myself, but I have known the depths of despair from a troubled marriage many years ago. Jesus let me go there, and then lead me through and out of it. One of my favorite quotes from Chuck Swindoll is :
“But take heart. When God is invloved, anything can happen. The One who directed David’s stone and opened that sea and brought his Son back from the dead takes delight in the incredible.”
I am living proof of that, and so many others here in siestaville. I am praying FOR you to THAT GOD.
xoxo, rene
…just want to clarify; when I said Jesus let me “out of it”, I meant the ‘pit of despair’. We are still married, 26 yrs. this Aug…
Thank you Rene – it’s been a painful weekend and I appreciate the encouragement. I treasure your prayers. Nobody,not friends or family, really knows how painful this is or how bad it is.
thank you
Elizabeth, only God and His Word have the answers you need right now. But I have found a ministry that has encouraged me greatly. I’ve been divorced 2 1/2 year and I am praying for God to restore my marriage. Look up “Rejoice Ministries” online – they believe that “God Heals Hurting Marriages”!
Lord, please comfort Elizabeth right now. Please reassure her of your great love for her, a love like no other. Please help her to be strong in you, to rely on you above all others.
Thank you Melanie. I will look them up.
Beth,
I have been apart of this blog since the beginning,
I remember when AJ wrote ” well, I am going to try to
Start a blog again.” Because I guess the first time not so
Many caught on.
I have been commenting though since 2004:)
I have to just tell you that I feel as much protective
Over this blog as y’all do; and I know many siestas would
Say the same.; this is a place where it is safe to just ramble on about Jesus, and the life things we face in our
Walk. I personally love that there are so many comments,
And I love seeing new people pop up here:)
I have had a chance to meet you, and I have had a chance
To meet several other siestas, but I also know that God was in control of all of that. And once we start to expect that
We should talk to this person, or we should be told someone
Is praying for us, then honestly, who has control?
I know God has taken His hands off times of my life
Where I wanted to “control” people; and He took those
People out of my life. Because when we control others, we
Are holding onto them, so they can’t be far from our life.
People don’t deserve that. People aren’t here to live
And breathe as you want them to.
And as far as responses go; I have had all of u respond
To a comment on this blog, but again I have been here 4 yrs
And I think you, AJ, Melissa and the rest of the siestas
Know that if you don’t respond it doesn’t mean you
Don’t love and care about me; the group of siestas
I know we text few words, or don’t hear from each other
For sometimes a few days, but there is no doubt that
We are always still there praying for each other.
So I would like to say to everyone here: if you start loving
With expectation, doesn’t that mean that you stop
Loving unconditionally.
God doesn’t make miracles happen in our time, its in His,
I rather Him be in control of my life than me anyday!
Thanks for listening to my heart y’all:)
It poured on out!
Love all of you!
Angie
Yep, that was a BB written comment:)
I wanted to add that I was 23 yrs old when I started your study ” Jesus the One and Only”- I really tried to learn the Bible before that, and I was the youngest in our women’s group, but it was a little discouraging that I couldn’t relate to the rest of the ladies.
When you came on the TV lady, I can tell you my eyes opened wide, it wasn’t YOU, it was that God showed me that it was indeed possible to learn about His Word the way my brain wanted to. I am a DEEP thinker, and I have to take all it more than the surface; you taught me how to do that, and since then, I don’t care that I don’t relate to anyone in the room(married, kids etc.),
We all relate in wanting to go more after Him:)
I’ve never told you that, I felt like I should take the oppurtunity. My favorite part of that study was when you suggested that maybe the earthquake that happened those years ago was caused by Jesus falling on His knees:) I’ve never forgotten that:)
Fully Alive- You, James and Betty…I love the part of ” The chains came loose.”…and just learning that whole story I never read before.
and James ” keeping the monster down…” that was good too!
Daniel- I loved the fiery furnace, and how A,B,C scenarios how God goes about doing things;)
Believing God- I memorized ” The Benediction”, and I love Session 2 Part A, about “Angela” and also in another session ” By Faith…”:)
and what you said about the Prayer of Jabez
‘Things Pondered- I loved every bit of it!
The Inheritance- Psalm 16 hands down is my favorite part of that! then Paris Hilton trying to teach us to be a goddess:), and when AJ had the baby, and “people, possession, and property.”…
and more studies:)
Anyway, I am rambling on here, because as many studies as I’ve done by you…are as many as I’ve given other studies a chance. Thank you for that, I now can listen to anyone, because you taught me how.
Also, I love to visit other churches on vacation:)
Its really about hiding His Word in our heart, and its carried with us. Always.
Worded beautifully, and what God has been revealing to me, and I think I might have shared this with you yesterday is the fact that God wants to be my God. Any other way, I set myself up to be a god, or others to be a god, and I’ve learned that I do not want God’s jealousy to burn against me. Thankful that He continues to teach me. Lovingly, Yolanda
Love you Yolanda:) And wow, He is so cool…I was singing ” Give us clean hands” at the top of my lungs driving to work without music today…He just has to be the center…or we’ll fall.:)
All I’m sayin’ is AMEN AND AMEN! GLORY!!
Thank you Beth, for sharing the :stop it: just let it go.
I have been having my own hard, down time, over some stuff and letting it really rip apart my faith. http://sandeefamily.blogspot.com/2010/06/are-you-silent-god.html
Yesterday, I had decided to just let it go and let myself be happy, and came down with a killer headache that lasted 24 hours and put my out of commission with my kids. I am just now raising my head up and saying, huh? what was all that? And feeling very cranky. I need God, in a big way.
Thank you for your faith…it spurs me on.
Bless you for watching out for us…on so many levels.
The message you wanted us to get, that you feared we didn’t…I got it. I get it, every time I do one of your studies, read one of your books, hear you speak. Maybe you didn’t say it like you wanted to say it. Maybe it wasn’t the words then, that you would use now…but I GET IT!! You have made it incredibly clear to me…you are LIVING PROOF of His Love, Grace and Mercy. And because you made it clear to me, I am working hard at making it clear in my life too. He IS my life and I’m nothing without Him.
I’m just saying.
Melana 🙂
I am standing in agreement with my friend here:) SO TRUE!
hey there beth,
thanks for your post. i appreciate that you’re looking out for us and trying to protect us!
i’ve been reading this blog for awhile now, but i don’t post often. i’d like to start “contributing” more, at least when i can. but on the note of “please let your Siestas know when you legitimately need prayer and edification,” i’d like to ask for some prayer from you fellow siestas. my husband and i recently lost one of our best friends to an aggressive cancer. he was only 28 and left behind a wife and three kids under 5. the whole situation was so tragic, and we’re feeling loss on so many levels. we all believed he would be healed, even up until the day the Lord took him home. i know there isn’t a concrete answer for this question, but i keep wondering why God didn’t answer our prayers for healing when we all sought so hard and believed so hard. especially in light of verses like james 5:14-15, which talks about praying and anointing with oil and “the prayer offered in faith will make the sick person well; the Lord will raise him up.” there are these promises in the Bible that we all held to so tightly, but then there was no healing. it would have been so easy for God to heal my friend.
the hardest part for me right now, which i guess is the part i’m asking prayer for, is that i know all the “right answers” to my questions and my feelings. i have the head knowledge of God’s character and truths – that He is good and faithful, regardless of what our circumstances say, and that His being faithful doesn’t mean that He answers our prayers the way we want them answered, but that He does what He says He will do. I *know* all these kinds of things, but they aren’t helping. I need a revelation from the Lord of His love and presence and sovereignty in this situation. i need to hear from Him in a deep place in my heart.
i did the lesson in Ruth today about being honest before the Lord with our feelings and situations. i poured out my heart for a long time, but didn’t necessarily feel or hear a response. i know the Lord will meet me where i’m at, i just hope He’ll meet me soon.
thanks for your prayers, siestas. i really do appreciate them.
I’m praying for you, Kimberly, that you would sense His presence and overwhelming love for you.
allyson
My goodness Kimberly, I’m so sorry for your recent loss. I’ll definitely pray for your friends wife and children–what a tragedy. I’ll also pray for you as you wrestle this out with God, I think we’ve all been where you are and it just plain stinks. Praying for an all consuming peace to rest on you.
Hang in there Siesta!
Teri
Wow. A lot in such a small space. Several sentences made me giggle and read them aloud to my man. You set me free to jump into this community, and encouraged me to go pick up another study. I can’t wait! Just have to decide which one. Thank you for having the heart to tell His story in your life. LOVE YOU!
Lord Protect me from myself is my hearts cry too. I went to prayer tonight with some wonderful ladies from church and cried and prayed for my children and for God to grew me up and help me not to have a pity party It was bad I was thinking if Jesus came back I’d be left. I know it’s a lie from Satan himself but You get so down on your self and listen to the lies. Thanks so much for writing this. I truly know now the Lord Heard me and I’m gonna be alright..
Love in Christ
Sue
No matter the hair, you are a beautiful women………inside and out : )
Checking in here is like checking in with my big sister for encouragement, challenge and endearing love. Thanks girl……….you are a precious gift to many. Let’s bask in God’s grace together………..His love is amazing, and wonderfully solid. Love you!
Happy 4th………let freedom ring!!
Receiving compliments has always been really
hard for me – because I know in my heart nothing
I do is in my own strength – it’s only through God’s mercy.
But, there have been SO many times when I’ve
neglected to give Him the honor & glory He deserves.
And it breaks my heart & makes me feel so ashamed of myself
for trying to take some of Christ’s glory. This is something
I struggle so hard with. Please pray with me that I will
boldly give my Lord His praise.
Happy 4th of July! Thanks for this- I went and helped send a dear friend back to Jesus today- hChuck was 40 and had two small children. He loved Jesus and we all know he’s fine, but man our hearts are breaking for his sweet wife and children. It really hurts- it’s good and it’s right- we all know that- God is good all the time- we know that too. But at the end of the day- losing him still really hurts. Chuck loved sunsets more than anything else God let us witness and tonight’s was gorgeous- apparently God gave him the paintbrush tonight so we’d know he was hanging out in the heavenlies.
Beth—
You have some American expat siestas here in Taiwan and I get all giddy when I see another blog post pop up on my iPhone. Keep ’em coming. I love hearing from you.
Rachel, I am so happy you expats are here! God’s richest Presence to you guys in Taiwan!
Hi Taiwan Siesta,
I lived in Taiwan for five years in the 70s. Loved it and hope to return for a visit one day.
Praying for you in Taiwan!
Hey Beth,
I just love your honesty…… and you. Your studies have been a HUGE part of my life the last 10 years, through some monumental ups and downs, and I just want you to know how God timed and used every word I would read to be so real to me in those places/times……… as well as these times, wtih 3 grown children, 7 grandchildren (6 boys and 1 baby girl), and life with my husband of 33 years.
Have a great weekend,
Love, karen:)
Dear Beth, one of the things I most appreciate about you is that you are so “real”. In all of the Bible studies of yours that I’ve done, your books that I’ve been privileged to read and here in Siestaville, I love that you never pretend to be anything special. You are always so clear that it is God who is doing the work and He alone that deserves any and all glory. Thank you for your honesty and transparency. They encourage me to be more real too and to share more honestly with others. May God alone get all the glory for anything He does with our lives! Thank you for sharing and being a blessing!
Ok, what’s this Tabernacle Study that has been mentioned? I must know, I must do! Can someone please enlighten me? Thanks!
Courtney,
The REAL name is ” A Woman’s Heart..God’s Dwelling Place”. I did not do the original study but am in week 4 of the updated one and it is mighty! It is about the Tabernacle… guess that’s the name I have been using for it. Have a great 4th! Linda
thanks!
hi courtney, this comment caught my eye because ‘A Woman’s Heart….God’s Dwelling Place’ was my first Beth Moore Bible study and my first Bible study period! i could go in to a lot of detail but God pushed my into the sign-up for this at our church. i didn’t even want to do it! i didn’t know Beth Moore or her writing. i had a bad attitude going to my first class (because i just knew it’d be corny or cheesy). I COULDN’T BE MORE WRONG! this Bible study changed my life, my marriage (for the better), and my walk with God. I have taken eight of Beth’s studies, and this one has got to be my favorite. it’s amazing how the whole Bible is connected and how it is ALIVE! i never knew and this study showed me. oh, i wish i could express how awesome this study is, but trust me (even though you don’t know me) you will not regret participating in this study. i did the updated version when her (beth’s) first grand baby is born. i can enlighten you more, but i need to get to bed!!!!! just remembering how the videos started each week with the inspiring music makes me have chills all over. you will be changed and amazed with you heart willing to submit to what God has for you to learn.
hope this helped and encourages you!
I just lost my husband of 35 years. I am battling all of the different feelings that go with that. Please pray for me.. I am tired but trusting. Jesus is my everything and has been since I was 19. But i miss my sweetie.Thank you all.
Oh, Cyndi, I am so sorry. I’ve told my girls before that the longer you live with your man, even in the turmoil, the less you can picture living without him. And yet, those are the years when we most often lose one another. I care so much and pray that Christ will continue to set you on your feet every single day and give you constant glimpses of His favor upon you.
Thank you for this post – for all of them actually – but this was a good word and I appreciate it. Also thanks for the refreshing look back at your Nanny. It brought memories of my own precious Gram (or G.G. to my kids) who was from Oklahoma (transplanted to Seattle and then onto Alaska) who was the personification of Joy in spite of the struggles and difficulties of life. Enjoy the holiday weekend; as I live over in Switzerland, there won’t be hamburgers, but I think I’ll go out and have myself a great sausage 🙂
Oh don’t our grandmother’s hold a special place in our hearts?!? I loved reading about yours!!! My Granny (who sounds ALOT like your Nanny) would call my sister and I little heifers (really it sounded like heifas). I think it was her own term of endearment, wouldn’t you agree?
Thank you for being so transparent and . . .yes. . . Lord, please protect me from myself!!!! I can’t wait for the revised version to come out. Other than “Daniel”, “A Heart Like His” has been my favorite study of yours that I’ve done! When I journeyed on it the first time I had 3 small children. I’d just had my 3rd child and had really bad postpartum. Now, that baby is almost 7 and, today, actually, I am now a mom of a teenager.
Happy 4th! We all love you dearly!
wow, did this post speak to me. thank you for the story of your grandmother and then what God has been affirming to you about the value of sharing your true testimony of God’s grace. i totally get this. i’m 30 and have, for the past few years been in one of the biggest, deepest, most threatening spiritual battles i have ever been in. probably THE biggest i’ve ever been in…at least in my adulthood. for the past year, God’s been leading me out of such an intensely dark place that i hardly know how to articulate it to anyone (and there are pieces of it that are hard for me to share), but i’m still having to fight a few battles on the way out of this darkness. anyway…i’ve experienced and am experiencing the redemptive, merciful, restorative hand of God in such a powerful way. and i can take NO CREDIT for it. it’s all been His mercy. if not for His grace, i would still be so deep in that pit of despair. thank GOD for His goodness. i want to “thrive in this season of chastising.” i want to have the courage to learn what He wants me to learn here. because He promises FREEDOM. and discipline is only for a season. what i’m trying to say is thank you for sharing what you shared here. it is a precious reminder to me both of where i’ve come from and why (His mercy and grace). praise You, Lord.
Boy do I know how you feel. But last night when I was talking to God and feeling just like you. He just clearly said to me. “You are my child and I love you.” What more could I say……
Dear Beth,
I don’t stop in often, but I’m so glad I did today. I just celebrated my 16th Re-Birthday (praise the Lord!) and reading your post reminded me of the first two studies I did…To Live is Christ and A Heart Like His. I certainly would not have known that you left anything out, as I was a brand new believer and learned SO much! Your gift with words and your “realness” (that’s probably not a word, I don’t have that gift!) have meant so much to me over the years. I’ve done many of your studies since then, and every time I truly engage with a teachable spirit, I am overwhelmed with what God does in my life. When I became a believer at age 29, I was a total mess. And it was like being thrown from the frying pan into the fire for a few years as the Lord did an accelerated learning program on me!! But you taught me to hunger for God’s Word, for His truth more than anything else in life, and I can never thank you enough for that. Now, as my life is blessed beyond belief, I am trying to pass along that passion to others wherever the military sends my husband and me. Currently, we are in England and I’m hoping to take one of your studies into our local church this fall. I just can hardly wait for the ladies to sit under your teaching and be blessed like I have!!! To God be the glory!
Mama Beth, not that I am anyone, less a sister-in-Christ, but I just want to confirm what you wrote. I blogged on the same topic this week, only for me it was my husbands Aunt Eileen I got to learned from and now your grandma too. Thank you for confirming all that was in my heart. I have come to love the blogesphere and all of our sisters out there! It is such a thrill to know that there are so many of us! But there is no way to serve the entire thing or to be on every blog. Anyway, spot on dear!
xoxo,
Mair
You, too, Sister!
Thank you mama I needed to hear that! I too have been thinking a lot of my grandmother! I think my Memaw and your Nanny would have been good friends! How I loved my Memaw and miss her so dearly! She, along with my mother, have been the greatest spiritual examples in my live! When I am dearly missing her I will put on her old duster and I can still smell her and see her reading her Bible (in large print of course) drinking her coffee! Have a blessed Holiday and thank you for setting boundaries and for being real!!!
“Ferners”. That’s just fun. Some of my greatest memories of my Grandma and Grandpa was getting a better glimpse of God’s unconditional love. So thankful for that. As for your openness and honesty- I believe you (and your studies) have always pointed to the amazing grace and mercy of God in your life: so much that we have wanted to run right to it/Him. Thanks for being a good mama on this here blog. 🙂
Really good post. I was thinking along the same lines just yesterday. With the study of Ruth starting I am checking this blog and another one. I realized that I would not be able to read every post from both blogs AND keep up with the study. (I am also in a book club, and yes I like to check out Facebook.) I decided to put things in order and the study and Bible got put on top of the list. After that I can read the posts, but the Bible has got to come on top of everything else.
I love the new option to go directly to other pages of comments.
Thanks AJ!!
Me too!
Thank you so much for sharing this and for being so honest. You are a real example to me, most of all because in everything you do you point back to Him. Thank you LOADS for serving God and your Siestas so obediently 🙂
Beth, I have tears in my eyes as I read your post. I follow this blog alot but have only posted one or two times. I was hanging on every word you wrote just then. And when you got to A Heart Like His and fact that you are rewriting it- Whoa…. I feel the need to write this. God led me to a church several years ago that did discipleship studies. I had not been regularly attending church since I had married but felt the need to get back because I was not gonna raise my child without God involved. I got into a church that promoted discipleship studies and actually the first study I did was “A Women’s Heart”. I got so excited about these that I literally dove in. I took several home and did them myself. The next group study I did was “A Heart Like His” Wow – I was so blown away by it one week that I honestly wanted to get back to church to see if the other members of our group had books that said the same thing. It was written directly for me. I fully remember going to the front of the book and looking at the copyright. You had published it 10 years earlier. It was an awesome thought that something written 10 years earlier had touched me so completely. That God in His foreknowledge had a part in my involvement in that study at the exact time I needed it. It would not have touched me in the same way 10 years earlier. So thank you for writing God inspired studies. They are touching many, many lives. Sometimes even years down the road. And though, in some ways there is sadness that you would re-write my favorite – I will be right there to take the new one when it happens my way. (maybe 10 more years down the road). Love you and praying for you and your ministry.