Hey, Sweet things!
It’s Friday afternoon before a holiday weekend and I’ve had a really full but good day. Not that great a week, really, but a mighty good day. God woke me up with a release this morning from something that has been pressing on my heart. I just sort of heard a “Stop it” from God so I decided to stop it. Anyway, I thought I’d end the work week up visiting with you guys a bit before we lock this place up for three days. I will probably say hi before the weekend is over but I’ll have to see how the unplanned festivities go. For now, it is pouring a deluge in South Texas so whatever we’re doing, it is decidedly not out doors. No telling what my two dogs have done to my house while I’ve been at work today. (Star, my Border Collie, has been keeping Geli, Keith’s bird dog, company lately when the really hot weather prevents Keith from taking her with him in his truck. I can’t bring both of them to work without mass pandemonium.)
Before I head to another topic, I want to tell you that you really knocked it out on that last post and I’m so proud of you. Way to tell a girl how she can know God loves her. I watched some real live ministry take place on that last post (and so many others before it). I believe in the ministry that takes place here. I couldn’t have fathomed it in advance but our gracious God has lurked here and so many other places on the web and I am so much the better off for it. You know, you guys are the only reason I’ve never done the Facebook thing. I’ve always wanted to. Are you kidding? What sanguine wouldn’t? But I thought I’d end up getting so distracted by it that I’d lose my vision here. I’m so blessed to be a part of you and, for now, you are one of my biggest serving priorities.
And that’s the reason why I need to stop and say something in protection of this precious, hardworking, sincere and tenderhearted community. We exist to encourage one another to know Jesus Christ as personal Savior and to follow hard after Him. We love big doses of healthy, good, clean fun. We love to laugh. We don’t mind having a good hard cry together. BUT, we can’t consistently be a ton more than that. We can’t replace face-to-face families to many people and certainly don’t exist to take the place of our local churches. Few of us are confused about that. Here’s why I’m bringing all this up. I don’t want you to start getting worn out here or start feeling like there’s such a heavy weight of responsibility that you can’t even bear to log in. I don’t want you feeling guilty or condemned because you couldn’t read every single person’s comment. None of us can. None of us can be anybody’s everything. Let me say that again:
None of us can be anybody’s everything.
To attempt it is to play Christ. To demand it is to expect somebody else play Christ. Minister here freely and freely feel ministered to. Freely give, freely receive, the Scriptures would tell us. But do not let this place become a burden or a form of bondage to you. I just can’t have that. I speak for most of us when I say that what I write here on these posts is to every single one of you, new and old. You do the same when you write general responses. When you or I get a chance to shout something out to someone in a comment, it is never because we found her worthier than anybody else. I don’t have favorites on here. I really don’t as much as we sometimes tease. You don’t either. I also don’t get to read every single comment. Neither does Melissa or Amanda. Neither do most of you. Please know that this community exists to bring you encouragement. Not to add to your insufferably long list of things to do nor, worse yet, to add to a feeling of insignificance. Lord, forbid it. All of you are so loved and welcomed here. I would be heartsick for anybody to get on this blog that was formed to build you up and feel torn down.
By all means, please let your Siestas know when you legitimately need prayer and edification or just a big fat hug. Ask your questions! (I LOVED Erica’s question!) Seek some solid insight! Get together on the side. That’s what this place is for. But I say this to anyone with an intense emotional issue (Believe me, I’ve been there and have sought sound Godly counsel and highly recommend it): please don’t demand more (and more and more) from this sincere community than most women on here can give. Please be careful not take advantage of my girls here in Siestaville. They’ll bend over backwards for you. Don’t put more on them than they can handle or expect of them what they can’t deliver. It is my responsibility to be protective of this community. With all my heart I pray that this will remain one of the very few places in many of our lives where we don’t have to feel guilty and like we’re not enough for people. Please, not here. I say that with love. And if your comments get posted on these entries, you’re probably not who I’m talking about. Let me say frankly that there is a reason why we moderate comments.
Ladies, as you minister on your own blogs and as you participate here, please keep in mind that people can play you. One way you’ll know is if they just keep on and on with it and no answer and no encouragement ever suffices. Sometimes you can just feel it in your gut. That doesn’t mean they don’t need love and prayer and attention. It just means you don’t need to get caught up in a loop. We aren’t meant to take the place of professional counselors.
I love you guys so much. God has placed the stewardship of this community in my hands. I’m the Mama here. And sometimes mamas have to lay some boundaries. This is for your protection.
OK, some of you may not be able to get past that but for those of you who can, this is the real reason why I got on here today. I don’t know why but I’ve been thinking a lot about my grandmother lately. Maybe it’s because I’m a grandmother now and I’ve seen some life come full circle. Whatever the reason, she’s been in my thoughts more than usual recently. My grandmother was widowed when my mom was just fourteen. Four years later, Mom met my Dad and fooled around and eloped with him. When they got back to town, my mother’s mom got revenge I suppose by moving right in with them. She didn’t move out until her mansion was ready in Heaven. I was sixteen years old at the time. Translation? She lived with my siblings and me all our young lives. And, boy, was she a character.
Her name was Minnie Ola Rountree. With a smirk on my face, 30 years ago I suggested to Keith that we name our first daughter after her but he didn’t go for it. Minnie Moore. Don’t you think that would have been darling? Anyway, to us she was “Nanny.” (Not our first child. My maternal grandmother.) She was born before the turn of the 20th Century and lived long enough to ride a horse-driven carriage to town and watch a man walk on the moon. She believed until the day she died that we had a party line (you young Siestas don’t even know what that is. It’s not direct dial to Party City) and would stand over us when we talked on the phone for more than five minutes and say, “Get off that phone! Someone’s probably needin’ an ambu-lance with you on there chewing the fat!”
There were eight of us in all and by the time Dad would let us get two phones in the house (on the same number, of course), Nanny decided if she couldn’t beat us, she’d join us. We’d be on one phone with our boyfriends and she’d be on the other just listening in. You’d walk through the kitchen and there she’d be, sipping on her perked coffee, tuning in like it was her business. Oh, man, she dearly loved gossip. Watched her “stories” on the black and white from noon til 3:00 and only President Kennedy better interrupt her and, even then, it better be good.
She’d been raised in the country and mostly by her big sister. Her second parent was cold in the grave before she was out of grade school. Once a tall, educated man happened through those parts and took a liking to her and married her before she could think better of it. I guess she loved him more than anything in her entire life. His name was Micajah Rountree. They had seven children together. And buried three of them. Under two and a half years-old. Can you even comprehend it? She told me once that every woman she knew with a large family had gone through the terrible agony of at least one loss. They couldn’t have imagined medical care like we have today. In the cemetery where she is buried, she is one of many moms laid to rest near the graves of infants. It’s almost too much to bear to see.
But they had many good times together, too. My grandfather was quite the catch, becoming a mighty fine lawyer and serving in State government. He probably would have been a man of means if not for the Great Depression. Family legends made him bigger than life to me and, even though I never knew him, I set out to be just like him, majoring in political science and minoring in English. God ended up having other plans but not before the man’s legacy had left his mark. I am told he never saw his left palm for a book in his hand. My mom was just like him. I am just like her. Amanda and Melissa are just like me. We live to read. We are so amused that Annabeth can’t put a book down. Rountree blood has trickled down five generations.
My grandmother was a smart woman but her formal education did not quite match her man’s. We moved that woman out of the country but we never moved the country out of that woman. And we are so glad. She used sayings that my siblings and I still employ on a continual basis. When we moved all the way from Arkansas to Houston, Texas (I was 15), her world split wide open. She’d never been to a city you could call a melting pot. She’d say, “Don’t them ferners beat all!” Ferners = someone born in a different country. Of course, what Amanda and I love best about Houston is that it’s such a glad mix of ferners but that’s our taste. Nanny didn’t quite know what to do with such a big world. She never understood that they were just as American as she was.
My favorite thing she ever said – and she said it CONSTANTLY – was this: “Some folks, you just can’t learn ’em nothin’.” (Please use a long “a” sound on the “can’t.” It’s more like “cain’t.”)
I don’t want to be one of them folks that you can’t learn nothin. I want to keep learning as long as I live. Don’t you?
Now that I’ve talked on this long, I might as well tell you what’s kind of had me down this week. For the last several months, we’ve been working on the up-dated version of “A Heart Like His.” (Do not even talk to me about my hair in that video. Believe it or not, I did not do that hair. Another story for another time. Anyway, I happen to really love who fixed that hair so I’m going to keep my mouth shut.) I’ve enjoyed being back in the study of the life of David so much. Scripture doesn’t get any wilder or richer or more applicable than 1st and 2nd Samuel. What’s gotten to me over the last few weeks is not what I said in the original written version (17 years ago!). It’s what I didn’t say. Lord have mercy, I had just come out of one of the worst trials of my entire life. I cannot even express the pain I’d been through or the defeat that had threatened to engulf me. But try as you might, you could not find a single hint of it. (My Nanny would say, “Narry a hint.”)
“Woman,” I said to myself as I was recently reading through the original version and updating it, “Where on earth is your testimony about the grace of God over your pitiful, messed up life? Huh? Huh?” At one point, I read such a down-played version of some misery that I’d been in that I wrote out in the margin, “Rewrite, you big liar!”
It wasn’t really a lie. But it didn’t even begin to measure my true estate. As I’ve read over some of the early writings, I can still see a woman who wasn’t sure she could yet be herself. Thank God, the Scriptures speak loudly and clearly and they’re all we really need. But most of us could use a teacher who owns up to her own struggles and own defeats. Most of us need to know we’re in this together. Way back when I originally wrote “A Heart Like His,” I think I was too close to the fresh graces of God to truly recognize them. I hear a crescendo after that in studies like “To Live is Christ” but, not coincidentally, I don’t hear the full throttle, volume 10 testimony of what God had done for me until “Breaking Free.” There’s an obvious reason for that.
For some reason that missing element broke my heart yesterday. I’d teared up over it several times as I edited “A Heart Like His” but finally yesterday I just got up from my desk, went face down on the floor and bawled my eyes out before God. “I am so, so sorry.”
Praise His Name, He really does grow us up in knowledge and in grace. He is so patient. So merciful. But just in case some of you have only done one of the earliest unrevised Bible studies and didn’t hear it as clearly as you should have, hear me clearly today: GOD IS THE ONLY REASON WHY I CAN HOLD MY HEAD UP LONG ENOUGH TO DRAW A BREATH. ANYTHING IN MY LIFE OF VALUE IS FROM HIM ALONE. HE IS MY DECENCY. HE IS MY ONLY HONOR. WITHOUT HIM, I’M A TOTAL WRECK. I DO NOT DESERVE TO BE IN MINISTRY. I DID NOT EARN IT. ALL THAT I HAVE TO OFFER IS HIM.
He’s it. Plain and simple. Gorgeous and complex.
Some folks, you just cain’t learn ’em nothin.’ And I don’t want to be one of them. Lord, protect me from myself.
“But grow in the grace and knowledge of our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ. To Him be glory both now and forever! Amen.” 2 Peter 3:18
AMEN. and thank you! this post, beth – every bit of it, is why i love you so much. thank you for sharing your heart with us in so many ways. and thank you, God, for fashioning and molding that heart so faithfully and beautifully. – boy does He love you!
btw: although God has used all of your studies to profoundly touch my life, the david study remains one of my very favorites. i’ve wanted my husband to do it with me all these years. maybe when the new one comes out he will! and even if he doesn’t, i’ll do it again.
have a most blessed independence day weekend.
I don’t have much to say besides a resounding AMEN!
Precious Beth,
I know we didn’t have the same grandma but they sure had a lot in common. Some day I think we should publish a book on grandma sayings…wouldn’t that be a hoot.
Your study A Heart Like His got me into Bible study all those years ago. I had no idea at the time that you were so new, I just thought it was me who had missed out on knowing who you were. I was not a new Christian but I was just learning you could have a relationship with our wonderful Lord and Savior. God blessed me so much through your study and it has been a special blessing to watch you (and your hair, I love your hair) through these years.
I also have two precious daughters and sons-in-law and four grand children that I love so very much. And oh my, I am so much more in love with my husband because of one of your studies, I learned to pray for God to only give my husband eyes for me and me to have eyes only for my husband. Anyway, just wanted you to know how much you and yours mean to all of us in Siestaville.
You are in my prayers
Thanks for your transparency,you are real for sure.
Rom 8:34
Who is there to condemn [us]? Will Christ Jesus (the Messiah), Who died, or rather Who was raised from the dead, Who is at the right hand of God actually pleading as He intercedes for us?
Sometimes we fail, but we are not condemned. Give God the glory.
Beth,
Bless you! Thank you for sharing your testimony. I loved “A Heart Like His.” It was what I needed at the time. I will look forward to the updated one. I will be doing it again.
I hope y’all make it through the rainy weekend.
Happy July 4th to all my siestas,
Mary Ann
Sweet Beth,
One of the things I tell my husband over and over whenever I am working on one of your studies, or reading one of your books, or reading a blog post is how much I love your humility and openness. You are so real – so willing to open your heart. Somehow, even though you knew there was more to say, those early studies ministered because of those qualities you possess.
I am thankful that we never really “arrive” – that we are all on a journey toward being more like Jesus. The wonder of the Father is that He uses us right where we are and then moves us up a little higher as we learn more about Him.
You have always been a blessing – always. His grace is so evident in your life and such an encouragement to all of us. Thank you for loving us all so well. We love you back – lots!
Wow, is this ever a “God moment.” I’ve been punked this week. Wouldn’t have known what to call it but my husband I watched Part 1 Beth of Deeper Still last night. Even that is was a God moment, that i would have purchased the DVD and workbook FOR MYSELF rather than FOR THE CHURCH, to lead a Bible Study. Lead one? Honey, I need to be IN ONE every day for the rest of this year to come close to the hem of His garment, Amen.
The God moment is this: I needed a place to say this with at least one person who can relate. I’ve been punked and I’m so mad at myself that when you, Beth, started shouting “I’ve had it!” my Spirit just welled up and said, “See there? That’s it. That’s exactly what happened and how you feel. Stop eating and feel it. Then do something about it.”
Tonight my husband came home from work and we went on our faces before God to know what to do, and then just waited. And waited. Fifteen minutes later we were lead to make a phone call to start the “solution-ball” rolling.
But I’m still angry and I’m going to watch Part 2 again tonight to go through my list of “No’s” about exposing this person who lead me down the path of distruction. I’m angry that this person lied to me. I’d like to give her the benefit of the doubt and think that she was punked, too, or she wouldn’t have ever told me to do something like she did, and of course I did it. Could she really be that shrewd a business person? Uh huh. She could.
And I hope to heaven this is the last time I ignore the Holy Spirit telling me “nope, don’t do that ….”
Love you Bethie! Loved the post – both parts . . .
I have a praise Siestas – two of them – I have studied like mad for 3 months for a certification exam in rehab nursing (I have literally studied 2-4 hours every night after work and then all weekend) – I passed! It was so much harder than state boards which were eons ago . . . even though I am in management, it is required for all our RN’s now and I was the second to take it! Bless God and I am SOOO grateful for supportive prayer.
Now I have to go and get the summer Bible study book and try and catch up!
Another praise – we had just finished fixing our house from Ike about two months ago – tree on the roof with extensive damage – took over a year and a half to save all the money needed as the dear insurance company did not even cover it . . . anyway – we had a tree in the front that died and needed to come down – and it costs a bundle to do so since it was a huge pine tree!!!! Anyway, that rain Beth talked about – had 5 inches in our area today – God took that tree right down and sweetly laid it across the front yard (and not even in the street mind you – so God) and only left us 8 feet to easily cut down —– I was so blessed to come home after an 11 hour day and find a tree down in my yard —- Yeah God!!!!!
Happy 4th Siestas – – –
Woo Hoo from a fellow R.N. Siesta!
Congratulations on passing your CRRN DigiNee! I agree with you that it was WAY harder than the state board exam. I got mine two years ago (which was a TOTAL MIRACLE because I only had three weeks to study for it because of a mission trip and a busy schedule just before the test).
You will love the Ruth study. I am SO LOVING kelly Minter! Love her heart, her style, her humor.
Beth,
All I can say to that is “AMEN”! You have the uncanny ability to make me laugh and then bring me to tears…all in a matter of seconds, minutes, whatever. I just hang on your every word.
Thank you for your witness and your transparent testimony. I love you and am honored to be a part of the siestas! This is a refreshing stop in my computer time.
Happy 4th! xo
I just had a prayer experience of just wanting to fall down before him (but we were at the lunch table with my family) so I just kept telling Him, “I love you, I love you, I love you,” He is so good. I’m so grateful for you, Beth and so humbled by His grace and mercy I can hardly breathe. Blessings on you.
Oh my….you had in me in tears talking about your grandmother. My grandmother passed away some years ago from alzheimers and I cherish the warm wonderful memories I have of her.
I just want you to know that when I did the A Heart Like His study last fall, you may think that you didn’t adaquately share your testimony about the grace of God but really you did. Your teaching was so indepth and I learned so much that I will never get over… like the day studying Mephibosheth, or the death of Saul and Jonathon..or the video when you taught on going to a place of ‘further still’.
Oh I could go on and on but I am so looking forward to doing this study again updated and not because it will be new but because this study was almost at times just too much too process, like the story of Tamar. Just so much in there so I know there is still so much to learn! How cool that God’s Word is so alive.
Thank you so much for your ministry. And I am so thankful for this blog and community of Siestas!
Love and Blessings to all,
michelle in VT
One of my favorite things about living for the Lord is:
forever learning = forever understanding grace.
Kathryn Kuhlmann had such a powerful anointing on her life. I have always understood that “anointing” is a grace bestowed on someone who walks with God.
When Kathryn was asked about her anointing, her response was, ‘I have died a thousands deaths’.
Only those in your shoes, Beth, would truly understand what she meant.
You are loved by Him.
Be strong and take courage…
Amen & Amen!!!! So much love to you for your honesty & sincere heart before our Lord!
Wow Beth you really blew me away with your statement: None of us can be anybody’s everything. I needed to hear this in the worst way. I am a peacemaker by nature and want everyone to be happy and I do mean everyone. But I can’t be all things to all people can I?(smile) I need to let God be God. I appreciate you and love your sense of humor. You are such a blast. I love this community of siestas as well, it has been such an encouragement to me.
Love you Siesta Mama!!!! Thank you Jesus!!!!!
These words ring so true to me. I used to hold my head up in stubbornness and pride with a lot of guilt, bitterness, and shame right underneath. Then when my burdens became unbearable I called out and said I cant hold it and I dont know where to step or how to give it to you Lord! Ever since, He has been giving me eyes to see and ears to hear. Now I am so happy that I am able to feel the need to lay on the floor and bawl to him on the hard lesson days.
So many of the things you knew growing up trigger memories for me-party lines and JFK, country talk and family. Our parents didn’t (and we were told not to) talk about personal things. Family secrets went to the grave. Life wasn’t necessarily simpler so much as people painted the rotted boards and called them new.
We’ve had to decipher much of that silence and had the freedom to release the secrecy and shame, praise His Name.
In “A Heart Like His,” you were as honest as you had grown to be at that point. You’ve grown so much in the past 17 years–more free to be who you were born to be in Christ with each year.
I didn’t realize freedom was an incremental thing, until I felt freer over the years walking with Christ. It’s like love–you think you couldn’t possibly love any more, and a new little one comes into your life and your heart grows.
As much as you grieve over where you were 17 years ago, I pray in the next 17 years, you see just as much growth without the pain of feeling sorry but with the joy of seeing how far He’s carried you.
Sending hugs to you this weekend when we celebrate freedom for our country and are reminded of our true, authentic freedom in Christ. Love ya, Annette
Annette,
Your words expressed so much of what I’ve gone through in my life. And your statement of freedom being an incremental process – well, that just resonated with me deeply and encourages me so. Thanks for the post!
Beth,
This post is just one of the many reasons I love, admire and respect you. Because of your honesty and willingness to be real, I have been encouraged to do the same with my all women Sunday School class. I decided about a year and a half ago to share my testimony with my class and just be real. I wanted them to know that if God would transform a sinner like me, He’d do the same for them. I’d done several of your studies and had learned so much, that I felt God pressing me to go ahead, let my guard down and be real with the women in my class. After that Sunday, two more of my ladies shared and our class has never been the same. We’re all different and at different stages in our lives but we all love Jesus and want to know Him and His infinite grace more and more. I can honestly say, if I’d never done your studies, I would not love Jesus like I do now. You have consistently pointed the way to Christ and in such a way that this simple woman could understand the deep things of God. I have learned so much from you and I thank you.
Now for a PDLAM (please don’t laugh at me), I haven’t posted on the blog as much because I have to log in to WordPress first, so my little gravatar will show up. I just don’t want to leave a comment if I can have my little flaming heart by it!
I so appreciate you comments about not having to read every comment – I had been wondering how in the world I was going to fit blog-reading into my schedule! Thanks for reminding me not to feel guilty about not reading them all. It was starting to worry about not reading them all – just being honest ;o)
I love you Mama Beth!
just this past wk….a little 2 y/o went to be with Jesus.
she had swallowed a battery–LED battery….she passed away after several surgeries…..she leaves behind a dear sweet mom and dad and twin brother and twin sisters….please pray for her family….i can not imagine. I know Jesus loves them so much…..but what a hole in their hearts….
Thank God for His grace and love towards us.
One day we will never say goodbye to her again…..
Good gracious. I am so sorry. May God hold them all so close they can hear His heart.
I’m praying for this family. Thank you for sharing. Though my 17 year old son went home to be with the Lord, I still have such trouble imagining what it would be like to lose one so small, so precious. My heart grieves for them.
Blessings,
Michelle
Dear Beth
Any of us who have done your studies, old or new, have grown in the knowledge and love of God, period!
In my short walk with Him, God has always put me right where I needed to be to learn what I needed to learn, and your Bible studies have been a huge part of that journey.
The greatest gift you have given me is a love for His Word that defies definition. It’s a hunger that is deep and a thirst that is never sated. For that I will always be grateful to you and the gift of teaching God has blessed you with.
Thank you for reining us in, and keeping us safe here.
A Happy 4th to you and to all my siestas.
God Bless America!
To Melanie L; God does answer this prayer. I know. I am praying Ezekiel 36:26 for you.
Thank you Margie, and the other one praying for me. Ezekiel 36:26 is a wonderful verse for me, and I love Ezekiel 36:36 as well – “Then the nations around you that remain will know that I the LORD have rebuilt what was destroyed and have replanted what was desolate. I the LORD have spoken, and I will do it.”
Now, I’ve got to get me a picture to go with my name!
Dear Beth, I had just downloaded and watched the first video from the David series and now I read your thoughts. I must say, the first thing that hit me was the hair! But whenever I looked at you under it, all I could see was your precious human self and what was coming in your life. You spoke of your son and your mother. It just broke me up. I’m glad you are re-doing the study. You were very good then and great now. I’m so glad you have the blessing of being a grandmother. It has saved my life.
Well, my hair might have been like that too if I had been in your place. It does look much better now! Can’t wait for the update. Love you girlfriend.
That was so sweet, Nancy. I don’t want to wear you guys out with that. I feel so much better. But I surely do thank you for your gracious words and give all glory to God for them.
Thank you once again for being open and transparent. I love you. I have to tell you though that many years ago friend gave me that book. Forgive me but I didn’t know who you were at the time. I had never studied David and I loved it and used it to study together with a young woman I was getting to know. Since then I have come to love bible study. Now all these years later, I find myself in the midst of a trial that I have a feeling will take a while to sort out and to be able to fully speak of all that God is doing mostly out of being to close to be able to see clearly. Someday I pray that I will be able to. I am in a point in my life(50) that I long to lead women in bible study and help them develop that love and skills they need. So all this to say, I am thankful that God uses everything even when we (I) don’t think it is enough.
He is good!
Kathy
Wow! That was awesome! Thanks for that! If only more people could be so humble and honest…
Mama Beth,
Thank for being so open and honest with us.No matter what your sharing it always feels like a cup of refreshing
spirit filled water…It’s so nice to know that one of my favorite teachers also has times when all they can do is sit in the presence of God and just bawl…is there any better place to be held than in tender arms of Jesus as he gently wipes the tears away..Dear Lord Jesus, if there are Siesta’s among us that look to this blog for more fellowship than you intended..I pray that you would cause their feet to walk in places where they can sense your presence and love. A place and a people to surround them that truly love you to share their struggles and their smiles with as only you can. In Jesus’ Precious Name. Amen.
One more comment…I loved the grandma story. What’s the deal with their names – Minnie Ola (LOL! There is a small town in East Texas called…Mineola – pronounced the same way) and Micajah, is that Arky? So unusual. Can I use his name in a book sometime?
I loved reading about them. They came alive on my computer screen.
I could “picture it”! Thanks a lot! 🙂
Ms. Beth,
I think I shore wudda luved yur grandmama….My husband makes fun of me for using a few of my Arkansas family’s sayings. The one I tend to use the most is “fixin to”. It might go like this, “Child, I’m fixin to come in there and straighten you right out” or some other action which needs done right away.
And please know, I think most of us understand that you in no way seek out to be some important public feature… but God choses to use you and I am grateful.
I have felt ridaculed by a couple of family members for the very few times I have done anything public and have come to conculde: “Lord, you know I am not worthy of ever speaking for you , but You are certainly worthy to be spoken of, and I will gladly do that.”
Thank you Beth for always continuing to learn and for sharing it when you do.
Pat from Kansas ( I love the red slippers on the Ruth study…bought my daughter a pair when she was young)
Pat, we from Alabama have been “fixin to” do things, too. I think it’s just the most appropriate phrase to use for so many situations, don’t you? Wish I knew exactly where it originated> my father in law also would say he had a “bait” of something…meaning he had enough of it. ever hear that one?
My sweet grandmother’s birthday was June 30. She would have been 109…she lived to be 100 and I’m praying I inherited her longevity genes.
Thank you for keeping watch for us here. I truly love this place, although I don’t enter here everyday.
And boy do I remember party lines. Aint’ nothin’ like having your boyfriend on a 4-party line when you’re wanting to talk to him everynight and when the line finally does become open, you know…you absolutely know…that Mrs. Totty is listening in. And, btw, that boyfriend has been my husband for 39 years, June 25.
Love you!…and love Siestaville.
“None of us can be anybody’s everything.
To attempt it is to play Christ. To demand it is to expect somebody else play Christ.” Now that’ll preach sister!
By the way…I could understand ALL of your Grandmother’s lingo….cause I’m from “Missippi” (nobody here pronounces all those sylables. ha)
Love you Mama Beth! Can I still call you that and be older than you? 🙂
Marilyn…in Mississippi
My dad lives in Laurel, Mississippi, and I ain’t got no trouble under standing that Southern talk either. LOL oh yea, ain’t __ain’t a word is it?
Marilyn, you have me laughing!
He redeems and He restores. And He is gracious enough to show those in positions of influence to point others back to Him. Thank you for always seeking to reflect each of those realities.
This post makes me want to love Christ more. May it be. And may He protect us all from ourselves.
Solid Gold post, Mama Siesta. Solid Gold post.
I miss my Grandma, too. Her birthday was June 18. When I would call her, she would answer “A-low.” I loved it! I can hear her voice clearly in my heart and mind…and I hope I always do.
I majored in political science, too–doubled actually with history. I love English. And I’m a reader, too–but I happen to be the lone one in my family besides my Grandpa who passed away some time ago. I loved that part of your post more than you know. Some people just don’t understand me. For some reason, I think you might.
Prayers and blessings,
Rebecca
First of all, I love, love, love your ‘guidelines’ in the beginning of this post. As I read it, I kept thinking of my friends who will sometimes apologize if they haven’t had time to read my own everyday. I always remind them: It’s there for you when you need it, and it’s not going anywhere. (It’s not to be a burden. And it’s totally okay. The ironic thing is that of course these are the same people that often comment, are encouraged, and encourage others — but then suddenly will apologize for ‘missing a few days’. How special are those hearts?? 😉 )
Great points on being played too. I think we all too often get ‘love thy neighbor’ confused with ‘give and give and give until your exhausted because those energy vampires are feeding off you’. We still gotta have those boundaries. We love. We support. We encourage. But not only are we not counselors, enabling is unhelpful– and we are not meant to doormats. 😉
As for Heart Like His, it’s funny. I just got your ‘old version’ and was just opening it to begin it today. (I’m new not only here, but to you, Beth. Sorry for being a late-comer. 😉 ) I’ll look forward to the new version. But here’s my take on the testimony thing. We all have one, but we also can only tell it when we truly know it’s safe to tell it — AND — when there’s a little time between us and the mess. It’s our nature. Sure, we must give it and tell it. But sometimes, it just takes a little time between the thing and the telling of the thing for our hearts to be ready to tell and for all that comes after. I have faith that God knows that, and that He knows when to prod us to tell when it’s time to tell. (Ahem. I mean, “share”, of course. ha 😉 )
Enjoyed the post! (We call my grandmother ‘Nanny’ too, by the way! She suffers from Alzheimers and doesn’t remember anymore, but we still call her that. I wonder if that’s a ‘Southern thing’. )
Love to all!
deb
Dear Sweet Beth,
You are such a beautiful Christian. I love you and all the other women so much. If you only knew what was in my heart.
God is everything to me and my own family. He is my Savior and Lord. I love Him very much.
My mother and both my grandparents have passed on over the years. Sometimes, I miss them so much I cry and tell God about it. My grandmother always cooked the best food right out of her garden. She gave me hugs when I needed one.
My mother taught me about Jesus. So, sharing with other women has been a blessing to me and a learning process.
I have all your hardback books, even your poem book. I really like the story of David. O.T. stories always seem to touch my heart. God has really blessed you with a wonderful ministry!
Faith_keeps us growing, hoping, dreaming and living beyond our own strength into something God wants us to be through Jesus Christ. It allows us to love one another and helps us recognize God for who He really is.
I have to share about my granny(my great grandmother). She lived with my dad’s family. Her name was Granny Josie. She was a very large woman, she dipped snuff and she did all the cooking. I have no memory of my grandmother cooking, even after granny passed.
She also love to watch her stories, especially General Hospital. Everynight when the news came on she would call her friend Lomie. They would share gossip and watch the weather together.
I miss Granny Josie!! She made the best pinto beans!
Beth,
I must admitt a year ago I did not even know who Beth Moore was. My mom wanted to go to a bible study at her church called Stepping Up with Beth Moore and needed a ride, so out of the greater good of my heart I agreed to take her! I am super busy…youth leader, church sound tech, deaf interpreter for the school board, college student (getting a national certification for educational interpreting), and really did not want to add another thing to my list…but I did! I was of course hooked at the first session…and was so glad I had decided to go. It was a time of transition in my life (seems to alway be a time of transition)…I was tired of the “fake” christian life and just wanted to be “real.” I found a church were that could happen, and then started attending the bible study with my mom shortly after that!
Of course I am of the computer generation, so I googled Beth Moore and found out all I could…and the blog spot! Like I said before “busy” does not even begin to describe, so being able to participate in the blog or other studies is beyond me right now…I will be so glad, when I am finished with school (next summer) so I can do other things (I already have a list of books I want to consume)!
Anyway…to the point! I love stopping by when I want to unwind, or have a few extra minutes at the end of the day. I never know what is in store…but it is always something from the heart and I am encouraged to continue being honest and real (not only to myself but to those God has placed around me)! Thanks for blogging!
~Tosha
As my 2nd graders at school would say it, Beth, “you rock!” (that means awesome, great etc…..it’s a big compliment the way they say it, and when they say it! 🙂 ) I love your realness in the journey along the way! And, just so you know I did “A Heart Like His” years ago, and God used it in my life. He also used it in great ways in the lives of friends. He is at work using you in mighty ways! :)And on those days, when we need to re-group on the side of the road of the race, He meets us there to encourage, wipe the tears, and help us get back in the race. May you know how very loved, and treasured you! May this weekend be one of refreshment, and deep joys. Oh, I had a nanny too!! (my great grandma-we all loved our nanny so much!) Many blessings to you!
Love you, Beth! For what it’s worth, the first study of yours that I ever did was the teen version of “A Heart Like His” when I was either in late middle school or early high school. It lit a fire in me for God’s Word that made me want to do all the rest of them. I looked at you the same way you looked at your mentor and said to God, “Whatever it is she’s got, I want that.” And, I haven’t stopped praying it since. So, whatever inadequacies you see in that study, know that God has used it to great glory in my life!
Happy 4th of July! And, while we’re celebrating national freedom, I’ll be thanking God first and foremost for my spiritual freedom from bondage–a freedom that I saw in you all those years ago and that I wanted so badly I could taste it. Praise Jesus He was faithful to deliver me just like he delivered you!
We sure do love you, Mama Beth. You’ve been a teacher to me for several years now, and I truly believe God allowed me to be taught by you because He knew that I would listen to a woman with impeccable fashion sense. I’m not even kidding! I’m all visual, but somehow, in the midst of: “Wow, just look at her jacket in this video!” I learned stuff. Lots and lots of stuff. Seriously, your unrestrained affection for us does not go unnoticed, nor does it go unappreciated. I pray that you and yours have a blessed 4th complete with as many Moon Pies as you can handle! (And please send the extras my way, as we don’t get them in these here parts. Sometimes it’s just plain ‘ol boring being a northerner!)
Wow, just wow! Thanks Mama Beth! All of that meant so much, and what you said about “being everything to someone” – I know you were talking about Siestaville, but I often struggle with that and my family. With a toddler and an infant and a husband who is busy as all get out I often feel like I am three people’s entire world. I feel like I have to do everything and be everything for each of them. That’s not my job. Only HE can be everything to them, and I really needed that reminder today. So thanks.
Hi Rachel,
I have a toddler (and a husband) and got myself exhausted trying to be their everything and not giving God time to be mine. Sometimes the lines get blurred when you’re a SAHM; you (I) feel like it’s your job to wait on them hand and foot or you’re not “doing your job”. Ha! Crock. I was on a “performance treadmill” and hit the wall. It wasn’t fun.
Here is what God said to me at the So Long Insecurity simulcast in April: “He’s not supposed to fill your cup, neither is he to take from it”. Whoa. It reminded me that while I’m called to serve my family, I still need boundaries for myself or I’ll get emptied real quick!! Lesson learned.
Take care of you. 🙂
Thank you Miss Beth…I needed to hear this, just to remind me that what you said is true about me too. I love you bunches.
I mean just how beautiful is this post……..thank you Miss Beth.
You know Beth, one thing that stood out to me as I read this blog is that God’s word is truly alive and brings forth fruit every time we read (and reread) it. I have just finished reading the “David” book and because you relied on scripture throughout, it continues to serve those that read (and reread) it today. My job situation has not been the best experience I have ever had (actually the worst). I have read about Joseph, Esther, Daniel, David, etc. and can identify with all of these characters because of the “realism” you place on their lives. What makes all of your studies “real” is that you stay with scripture. Since staying with scripture cannot be a human characteristic, I have to give God the glory for this. I have no doubt the updated “David” study will be better than the first, but only because we learn through life experiences. Your books and studies show growth, but where would you be without the “living proof” of growth to show for your own ministry. I am in my mid-40’s….I cannot tell you all the things I have seen in the last 20 years that have spurred growth in my personal life, professional life AND ministry. Life is not about what we would change, it is about how we respond and “prove” our ministry authentic and real. If we learn along the way, this enriches our ministry and provides yet another message for us and those around us. Where would most ministries be without sincere growth to show “living proof” of where the ministry came from?
Give yourself a little bit of credit….but only because you decided to put God first and let Him take you on the ride of your life. “Mistakes” are supposed to happen, but God is supposed to give great instruction through these “mistakes”. I can’t help but think about David as I write this…..boy the mistakes he made in life and yet….He had a heart like His!! How many of us would like to be accused of having a heart like His?
Beth,
I just want to say thanks. when I read your post I thought of my grandma and how much she loved me. she gave me my first Bible for my 6th birthday 1/30/1952! I still have it. I had heard that she and my papaw were wild partyers back in the heyday, but from the time I was born she took me to church lived a Christian life taught young peoples Sunday school, Training Union. Every nite she would get on her knees as I layed in bed and say Now I Lay Me to me than with me. She too watched 2 soaps, she rubbed snuff and had a spit can. We lived way back in the hills, we carried our groceries in a poke [paper bag] we were tarred [tired] and sat in cheer[chair] drinking a pop [soda] with a bag of peanuts. poured in it. Thanks for allowing me to share these warm fuzzies with everyone. I am 58 y o and am so glad I have these memories.
Beth,
With tears in my eyes, I am writing to tell you that I am so grateful for the original version of “A Heart Like His.” It was the first time the Word seemed alive and real to me. That was years ago, when I was in college. I was an absolute wreck, but I had just made the decision to give God a chance to help me. The GRACE poured out in those pages of Scripture and in your teaching were used by God to transform my broken heart and to let me know that living a life without shame was possible. Thank you!! Who knows where I’d be if I hadn’t let a friend drag me to that study.
The Holy Spirit uses what you write, when you write it and takes it from there. 17 years ago or 17 hours ago, it doesn’t matter! He has used you to put such a THRILL for God’s Word into my heart and soul! Thank you!
Oh, and I had such a similar upbringing with my grandmother living in my home. Reading about your “Nanny” makes me miss my “Mimi!”
Thanks so much for this post, Ms. Beth.
Love and prayers to all!
Kelli
Mama Beth,
This spring we finally started a Tuesday night bible study for the women in our small church. A friend and I co-facilitate. We have done Esther and Stepping Up so far and I must tell you that your sometimes brutal honesty and transparency in your teaching has done miracles for all of us in this group. I know without a doubt it comes at great cost to you sometimes.
It has encouraged us to get real with each other and get real with God. The bonds that have been forged in laughter and tears amongst our group cannot be broken. Make no mistake..we crack up sometimes. We are now known as “The Tuesday Night Rowdy Girls” and these women are precious to me. I can’t wait to see where God brings us next.
Thank you for your ministry of love. This motherless Siesta appreciates the doting. I can feel it from here.
God Bless You
Casey
Fort Pierce, FL
Thank you. God has been telling me over and over I am not responsible for someone else’s choices, but I kept thinking I could fix it. I will now let it go.
So many places to comment, so little time! (Ok, really, I have plenty of time but I’m dividing my attention between blogging and watching Intervention (why do I insist on watching this show?)!)
Thank you for the exhortation, the reminders, the learnin’ and sharing your Nanny! I appreciate that God receives ALL the glory and that He asks you to share so much of you and your testimony. It’s spoken volumes to me and helped me share my true self in the ministry God has entrusted to me. (I almost said “my ministry” by that’s not really what it is and I would have been on the path of missing the point.)
I will say this (and anyone who will pray would be greatly appreciated) — my husband pretty much just walked out on me back in March. We’ve barely spoken or been in contact with each other. He says he just doesn’t want to be married anymore and the sooner we get divorced the sooner I can find myself a good Christian man who loves me like I deserve to be loved. (Ummm, I snorted when I read that in his email.)
Here’s my point! Oh this has been such agony. In my totally natural self, I cannot deal with this at all. However, God has been speaking to me and asking me to wait. I asked to be released from the marriage (b/c it’s quite obvious he doesn’t want to even work on it) and God has said NO. I’ve begged; I’ve pleaded; I’ve wept; I’ve probably gnashed my teeth. God has given me a peace. God has given me joy. God has given me the ability to share my struggles with others and to share what He is doing through my life. He is strengthening my faith and just being so good!
I don’t say this for any pat on my back. Honestly, it’s just not me. I’ve been done and out and at the lowest emotionally and just felt live I’ve been drowning in despair. But right at those moments, He sends a messenger. He sends a hug, a kind word, a loving text or email and reassures me that He will never leave me nor forsake me.
Thank you for being the God-driving teacher that you are! I love you so much and thank God for you! (and your family too :0)!)
Happy 4th of July and I sure hope there are a lot of pictures. (I’d like to see the pillow that Keith cut off the tassels from.)
Cathy,
Even though we do not know each other…please know that I stand shoulder to shoulder with you in your situation. When the shock comes to an end, or possible really begins, in the next few months, I will still be standing with you…you will need it.
I have learned that there are atleast 4 million wives in the US alone that are going through a situation particular to mine. That’s a lot of women! My heart bleeds knowing that many of them probably do not have the Lord to lean on as we do. I do not know how they are surviving the agony.
I honestly couldn’t submit this comment until I prayed for more strength for you. Again… stay tight with Him…you will need it. He is your anchor in this storm.
I have prayed this same prayer, God, please release me from my vows. Praise God, He does not. Don’t ever give up! Our God is a BIG God. The biggest, the best, the ONLY!
There should only be three in a marriage. Husband, Wife, God. If 2 want the marriage to be healed, well, majority rules! :=)
Dear Cathy,
You have my prayers. I hurt right now reading your message that your husband left. I can’t imagine the pain you feel. I follow your blog and dear one, you have not said anything that I remember. I am glad Beth has provided a place for you to feel safe about telling your siestas the news. Just when I feel like I have no purpose I realize that yes, I can pray for a hurting sister. Thank you Lord. Cathy, my prayers are with you …Rebecca
Thank you, Beth, for what you said “None of us can be anybody’s everything.” So true. Someone put me on a pedestal about 20 years ago when internet used to be local bulletin boards. I was mighty uncomfortable with that!
Have a super Fourth weekend.
beth, i shared this once before on the blog but i’m not sure if you ever got a chance to read it. in light of what you just wrote, i think (even if you did read it) maybe you’d like to hear it again:
about a year and a half ago, i was praying for you and your ministry (in tears, of course), and i asked God if He would be so kind as to sit me on plane next to you. I was planning a visit my sister in texas, and I knew you were very busy, so I figured if God put me on a plane next to you, I could tell you how much your ministry has meant to me, how you are my mentor, etc. bizarre, i know, i’m sorry. so anyway, I distinctly felt the Lord speak to my heart, “why do you want to sit next to Beth?” so i rattled off some obvious reasons and listened. God was very clear, “the ONLY reason you are attracted to someone like Beth Moore is because you can see Me in Beth Moore. What you love about her, is what you see of Me. It is NOT of her. And you have Me right here. You don’t need to sit on plane to talk to Me. You’ve got Me. Do you want what she has? Good. Come and get it.”
This “conversation” with God literally changed my life. I have never doubted from that day forward that I can know Him like you know Him. And although I love you more than words as a sister in Christ, I have never again confused who it is that deserves my praise.
Beth,
Deep! You have really had a heavy heart haven’t you? Kinda hard to express sometimes when God is working because He has a message for just you but you want to be the Mamma and share but it is difficult isn’t it. The glory is that we will profit from His dealings either in a blog, book, message, or lesson or all 4. Thank you for saying yes to our Lord and Savior. Thanks for being open and willing to do whatever He wants! Have a wonderful weekend!
Cathy O’Connor
Faithful is He who has called you! 1 Thes 5:24