So Long Insecurity Week Eight!

Hey, Sweet Things! I’m so happy to meet you over here on our new site! We really feel like we’ll be able to serve you more efficiently here on WordPress and appreciate you going to the extra trouble the transition takes. In no time at all, this will feel like home again to the community we call Siestaville: a spicy little respite in a chaotic world. We’ll have the benefit of more technical support and far fewer quirks (besides the 1300+ X 10 on last week’s post. A keeper forever. And don’t think I won’t tell on you. Speaking material for years to come).

I am writing your Thursday post from my back porch on this gorgeous Wednesday late afternoon.  Houston has a reputation for a lot of things (good and bad) but few people accuse her of beauty. She gives it her best shot in the Spring, however. The azaleas are in full bloom and so are all my early roses. The lawn has turned green. The trees are budding. Staring across my small back yard I can count at least fourteen distinctive living colors. The temperature is perfect. The wind is blowing. I hear at least four different kinds of birds singing. Some of them are fussing because I’m out here and the feeders haven’t been filled since yesterday. They think this is IHOP.

Keith’s out and about. Star is dropping a yellow tennis ball at my feet and wearing a plaid bandana the color of Easter eggs. Curtis, Amanda, and the kids are on their way to Wednesday evening church where they’ll eat supper with friends there in our Fellowship Hall (do all churches have those?), then CJ will teach his class. Amanda will be his best student and biggest fan and Jackson and AB will go to their classes. Melissa is in Atlanta fighting with the clock on the countdown till the final form of her Thesis is due. By the time you’re reading this, it will be turned in. She will be exhausted but relieved. Colin will no doubt be ecstatic. God knew exactly what kind of man that young woman was going to need.

I have had my first real day off in several weeks. Hmmmmm. Maybe even three or more. That’s not the way we like to do it around here but it was largely unavoidable. The book tour (first time I’ve ever done one) pitched into the middle of the regular speaking/teaching calendar threw my schedule over the edge. I have said to the Lord several times, “If You’ll just get me till next Wednesday…” And He did. The tour is complete and I am getting to take a glorious deep breath. I did meet my LPM staff at Sweet Tomatoes on this day off, however, because, after all, they’re my best buddies. I’m so blessed to also like so many of the people I love. We’re all in town this weekend, of course, for Easter. I wouldn’t be away for anything. It would never be the same away from my home church of 25 years where I will worship with people precious to me, both family and friends, both young and not so young. Then my extended family will meet up at our house for a big roast, mashed potatoes, green bean casserole and an as-of-yet undetermined dessert. About the time we’re too full to bend over, we’ll bend over anyway and hide Easter eggs.

I dearly love this time of year.

OK, young ladies, we have a book to bring to finish so I better stop musing over Spring and start thinking So Long Insecurity. We’ve got only two more weeks to go in our discussions and five chapters left to read. That means we’re going to need to take three chapters this week so we can close up next week with only two. That works, though. It’s not hard reading and many of you have already finished the book anyway and are reviewing it for the sake of discussion. However it works for you is great with me!  Your homework this week will include Chapters 14, 15, and 16 and the following three questions –  one per chapter. Try to be as succinct as possible in each answer so we can read through many of the comments.

1) As you surely noticed, Chapter 14 is more of a testimony than a teaching but it concludes with a charge to deal with our female insecurities for the sake of young girls coming up behind us.  Annabeth was my big inspiration for the journey. Briefly describe someone who is worth doing what it takes to you to live abundantly and effectively in Christ. Help us picture her so that she inspires us, too. Needless to say, don’t share more than she’d want you to.

2) I wish we could discuss all of Chapter 15 in person but this is the next best thing. Name a couple of ways pertinent to your sphere of life and influence that you could look out for your own gender in our battle with insecurities. In other words, how can you (not others but you in particular) start becoming part of the solution in your female relationships rather than default into part of the problem. No condemnation here. Goodness knows, we’ve all been both. Our challenge is to learn to be deliberate. How are you prepared to do that?

3) I can’t wait to see your answers to this one. Based on Chapter 16 and the challenge to look past ourselves, what is your passion? If you don’t have one presently, don’t feel pressured or unnerved. You might be too deep in toddlers or school work to think past the urgent. Those things are priority and need to be your passion right now. If, however, you long for something that makes you feel fully alive and part of something specific God is doing for the greater good, ask Him to nurture that vision in you. It will be ultimately be the key to life on the outskirts of self-absorption. Keep in mind, your passion may not be anything you’re currently engaged in. Maybe you don’t have the opportunity to participate right now. Maybe it’s just in dream-form. Or maybe it’s just a place God has tendered your heart. Try to give it a name. What is something outside of yourself that you feel passionate about?

I will look so forward to your answers, Sisters! I’m so honored to have you along on this journey. Try to enjoy it while you’re at it. Believe it or not, as much as it’s pried into our business, we might just miss it when it’s over.

May the Lord answer you when you are in trouble. May the God of Jacob make you secure! (Ps. 20:1 NET)

With much affection,




491 Responses to “So Long Insecurity Week Eight!”

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  1. 301
    Candace says:

    1. My inspiration is my 5 beautiful granddaughters…I so want them to remember me as a Godly woman who loved Jesus more than anything on this earth! They have lit a fire within me to try and be better at this journey, and to leave a legacy of faith instead of the broken legacy that was passed on to me.

    2. My goal is to try and love women more, to accept them and undertand we all have insecurity!

    3. My passion is the women I counsel at the Crisis Pregnancy Center-they truly break my heart sometimes….Beth’s statement that “your past has not come full circle to its complete redemption until you allow Christ to not only defuse it, but also to use it” really strikes a chord in me. I feel like if I can use my pain and poor choices to better guide young girls then I am indeed defusing any lingering control my past might have over me.

    Married, 50’s

  2. 302
    Shannon says:

    married, 30’s

    1) My daughter – she is 13 years old and when she was about 10 she had multiple dreams where she was with a very large group of girls who were being killed right in front of her. My daughter realized that she was special and they had no right to kill her. When she told them that they were not able to kill her. She began to tell the girls around her that they were special too, and when they realized this they couldn’t be killed either. There was one little girl who just couldn’t see how she was special and was buried alive right in front of her. Reading this book has brought these dreams into a new perspective. When my daughter first had these dreams it was clear God was showing her work he has for her in the future. Kingdom work is not easy, uncontested work. This book has helped me to focus in on how much more purposeful I should be in raising my daughter right now.

    2) This book has brought to my consciousness thoughts and actions that are part of everyday life when it comes to interacting with women. They have been brought into the light and by God’s Spirit they are being replaced with truth that will encourage and build up instead of perpetuating the pointless, impersonal competition that has been going on.

    3) My passion is studying the word of God and raising my three children.

  3. 303
    AmyJo says:

    Just realized I forgot to put my “details” on my comment from last night:

    Wildwood, MO

  4. 304


    1) First and foremost, my soon-to-be 20 year old daughter who is also doing this study. She give me a truly unique perspective-I love that she shares with me and is secure enough to do so and I’m secure enough to hear it! I would also like to pass on and encourage my mom and sisters to read this book and answer the questions. It would be an awesome experience if they would just open their hearts. Right now I’m ‘planting the seed’ by example and praying they’ll see how content and at peace I am. I also strongly believe my teenage son will have a secure mother and look for a girl of strength and dignity…and hopefully understand her insecurities!

    2) Since starting this book I am recognizing other women’s insecurities. Instead of thinking or saying some snide remark, I find myself thinking or saying ‘that’s their insecurity’ and throwing up a prayer for patience on my part and peace for her. I further find myself, how to say it, not talking myself out of what a friend says to me. If she says ‘I’ve had the same problem’, I don’t think she’s just trying to make me feel better…I believe her and thank her for sharing…like taking everybody at face value…not assuming any more or any less. It’s really liberating and less stressful!

    3)Hmmmmmmmm-I don’t feel I can name or even have a passion! “Maybe it’s just a place God has tendered your heart” tickled my attention but I don’t know what it means! I would love for some input expanding the meaning of this phrase. I am on a quest for god to be in my life…for security and contentment…to be clothed in strength and dignity. I ask god to nurture the vision he has for me and to help me recognize it.

    I am so looking forward to the Simulcast in Wausau, WI!

  5. 305
    Erika David says:

    Albany, OR

    1. I am doing this for my sandy haired, green eyed, long legged (not like me) 8 and 1/2 year old daughter in whom I see my self daily. I do not want her to follow in my foot steps of insecurity, but rather raise her with godly confidence of who she was created to be in Christ.

    2. I am involved in a Mom’s group through church and tend to dress my best on that day so I can feel secure. I had never thought of how that might make others feel. I’m not saying I’ll take away the cuteness, but maybe the Coach bag can stay home if you know what I mean.

    3. This one is hard for me and brings tears to my eyes. I keep wanting to know what my passion is. I am a mom of 3 kiddo’s ages; 8, 6, and 2 and 1/2. I am also married to a wonderful man in a demanding profession. With that said I feel I don’t have time for my passion during this season of life, yet I LONG to find it! I have a desire to use my creativity and influence teenagers, as those where the year where I REALLY messed up. I have degree’s to be a teacher of that age group and long to go back to the classroom someday, but for now I need to be content with my passion being my family. Does that make sense to anyone else??

    I know I will always be “under construction”, but I hope in the insecurity department, God will soon be placing a sign that states; “PROJECT COMPLETE”.

  6. 306
    Nelli Fultz says:

    1. For my two precious nieces and for my high school students. Just recently I found out that some of my sweet and shy 8th grade girls had been sending nude pictures on their cell phones to some of the guys. It broke my heart for these girls. The struggle with insecurity starts early. I want to be a part of the solution in helping these girls overcome their struggle with insecurity.

    2. Prayer changes things. I want to make the committment everyday to pray for myself, my students, and all us ladies that struggle with this issue. Pray for the Lord to guard us from the things that daily seek to make us feel insecure.

    3. My passion is for my students. To be the type of teacher that my students see the light of Jesus Christ shing through in my life. Never before have I felt like Jesus Christ has placed me in the school setting to work with the age group that I work with for “such a time as this”.

  7. 307
    Barb says:

    1. The image of your pain as a young girl, hurt my heart!!! Your comment, “Why couldn’t someone figure it out & help me?” haunts me. Perhaps because my estranged daughter has that issue with me. If I had known, had any kind of inkling that something was going on, I would have taken my children & left him earlier-without a doubt. But I didn’t know. Why didn’t I know? The whole situation is still a mystery. My heart aches for her!!!!! I want to become secure so she can see a difference in me, maybe it would change her mind about wanting a relationship with me. If I should have any grandchildren from her or my son or step-daughter, I hope I could be some part of their lives and if that is possible, I want to make sure I am a secure woman!!! Plus my 14 yr old niece who has always felt 2nd best. If I could have any kind of influence on her so that she can grow out of the jealousy that shrouds her existence, and blossom to become the secure woman God wants her to be.

    2. Well, I blew it this week – seems to be a week of testing. An old button was pushed & I finally realized how much I have been comparing myself to my sister & Mom and didn’t realize I was depersonalizing them when the button is pushed. I had to stop & ask myself what I was afraid of, what was I threatened by, to come to the realization that I was comparing & my math was way off!!! And then another realization hit me – my stubbornness to let it go, feeling like I was completely mis-understood and so alone, I was ‘sounding’ just like my daughter’s words to me. Gave me some understanding!!! I can tell myself to stop it, (I’ve already started ‘practicing’) pray for strength, believe it, & stop comparing, depersonalizing & start emulating secure women. I would like to thank Marge Caldwell & Buddy Walters for the examples they set, because your burning fire has been an inspiration to me!!! God has used your life & spoken thru you to me, so many times, it never ceases to amaze me!!! I may need to listen over & over for awhile because there is a real struggle going on inside of me. Getting some real chances to CHOOSE!

    3. My passion currently is to have a ‘real, tangible love relationship with Jesus & to be thrilled hearing God’s words jump off the pages of the Bible to me’ because my eyes have been opened to those possible realities!!! I guess that is still self-absorbed. But I believe that would bubble out and God will guide my desires & passions. I do want to share what I am learning with anyone who wants to hear it. I have a budding desire to use the space in our new home to have group Bible studies – even a piano that I could play so we could sing – I want to let God use me & turn the pain in my life into compassionate help for others, for His glory. I would love have a place others could come & be inspired thru your ministry or in some way hear God speaking to them!! BTW: I am so impressed with every avenue you have your hands in: Blogs, Twitter, Facebook, Monday online teachings, Wednesday TV/online teachings, tours, LPL conferences, plus the Bible Studies that can be done in small or large groups. (You must have some powerful God given energy!!!!!) And to radiate security so that I can be an example pointing to Jesus, for anyone I come in contact with.

    This is disjointed but I have to post it now and not edit it anymore.

    Married, 50’s

  8. 308
    Church Lady says:

    Sparta, TN
    1. I am doing this for my 8 year old, red headed princess. I can already see little hints of insecurity in her. My prayer is that I will make her more secure, not to feed her insecurities. It is so hard to keep it all in check!!
    2. Since I work in the church I feel that I don’t only need to try, but that I make it a commitment, not to say anything negative about another lady. And to always try to understand where other ladies have been and are. To show compassion instead of tearing someone down. Our former pastor taught me several things but the thing that sticks with me most is to be “quick to listen and slow to speak”. Acutually that wasn’t the pastor that taught that (God Did). He just fleshed it out.
    3. Putting my gift of service to good use. I love working in ministry. I don’t know if God will always keep me working in church ministry. But my passion is administration for ministry. Maybe someday God will plant me in Living Proof Ministries????

  9. 309
    Kristi says:

    Late 20s
    Lewisville, TX

    1) When looking at this question, my thoughts immediately went first to the idea of daughters for my husband and I. We hope to begin our journey as parents in the near future, so obviously that is a huge one. But, then I also started thinking about a new adventure that is just now beginning to be tangible in our lives. My husband and I are going to begin a college ministry at our church, and are thrilled to be doing this together. College was an incredibly impressionable time for me and my battle with insecurity. I am ready to battle against my own insecurity so that as I begin to welcome young women into our home as a friend and sister I can lovingly encourage and teach towards lives free from insecurity.

    2) It’s hard to come up with my own way to be deliberate because two of the ways mention are so incredibly applicable to the way that I need to battle. So, I’m simply going to state “outloud” (or at least the Internet version of outloud), that I am committing to two things:
    a. I will “take captive my thoughts to make obedient to Christ” (2 Cor 10:5). I will deliberating redirect my thinking to stop making comparisons and start personalizing other women!
    b. I will declare to myself in the presence of my God, “How LOVELY is your dwelling place, O LORD Almighty!”

    3) My passion that gets me outside of myself is also two-fold:
    a. As I mentioned before my husband and I are hoping to become parents in the next year. I have learned from others that parenthood teaches us to be selfless in ways we never would have before. I have been passionate about being a mother since I was probably 2 years old. 🙂 I am so excited for this journey and looking forward to the lessons in selflessness.
    b. I will begin staying home at the end of this school year in order to become more involved in my husband’s ministry. I currenly am working a second job part time as a jewelry consultant for Premier Designs Jewelry–a Godly direct-sales company I could not be more excited to be apart of. I will begin making this my full-time job while staying at home starting in June. I am finding myself more and more passionate about this “job.” I never knew how much I had a passion for getting out a making a difference in the lives of women until I started this job. My passion has always been children-I’m a teacher, that makes sense. But, I LOVE getting to touch women’s lives through what I do. I love being able to offer them hope that they too can stay home with their kids and help our financially. They, too, can help achieve financial freedom for their family while doing something they love not something they have to do. I love that I get to tell ladies how beautiful a piece of jewelry looks on them and watch them glow at the end of a long, don’t-feel-beautiful kind of day! That is my passion right now!

    • 309.1
      Kristi says:

      I am laughing at myself!! If you read deliberately instead of deliberating you are correct…my brain and hands didn’t match up! HA!

    • 309.2
      Jen H. says:

      I used to sell Premier, too! Love the company, just didn’t have any time to do it anymore. I love how Christ- and family-centered they are! Plus great jewelry! 🙂 And I used to teach, too! 🙂

  10. 310
    Marlys says:

    1. I want to make a change for the women in my family. While I don’t have a daughter, I do have cousins, a mother, mother-in-law, sister-in-law, step-mother, step-sisters, aunts and others. All of us struggle with insecurity whether we admit it to ourselves or not! I’d like to break free of it and encourage them to do it too. I feel so tuned into the behaviors now.
    2. I will not participate in conversations that break down other women. And I will stop subtracting from myself when I acknowledge the strengths of others. That is the harder one. I work with several bright, intelligent people who often grasp complex strategies, methodologies and concepts much more rapidly than I do. It’s an area where I often lose confidence and quickly begin to doubt my own strengths. I will be reminded of what God speaks about me and not look at their reflection as a measurement of my worth.
    3. Still desperately seeking my passion! As a wife, mom of a 4 year old and provider for my family, there seems little time to find it, but God is faithful and I know that He will reveal it to me in His time. I feel as if He is delivering me out of my own “Egypt” into a much better promised land.


  11. 311
    Karen says:

    1. I have written and erased and sat and thought of how to eloquently share with you how my 17 year old daughter is my “someone” right now. She is dealing with clinical depression and all of the ugly that comes with it. She won’t allow herself to remember her sweet and loving and compassionate spirit due to the trampling it has taken. As Beth said back in Chapter 5, people who are especially tenderhearted are significantly more predisposed to insecurity. My specific prayer for her, starting today, is for God to please use me to show her that she is His treasure, clothed in His strength and dignity.
    3. My passion is to be an encourager, and I love to write. How exciting it would be to combine both. I have toyed with the idea of a blog for almost a year, but always have an excuse when my family asks why I haven’t started one. One big excuse I handed out is that I didn’t have a name for my blog. Another was that I didn’t have anything special to make it interesting. Well, the daughter I mentioned above came up with a perfect name, and a beautiful, true story to go along with it. As I sit here sharing this with you (and I’m not much of a sharer!), I’m sensing how God may want to use this blog not for a whole sphere of anonymous readers, but one 50-ish mom who wants to live abundantly in her loving Father’s name and a tender 17 year-old redhead who needs to let God heal her.

  12. 312
    Jen H. says:

    Oops! I accidentally submitted this without meaning to! 🙂 Trying again…

    1) I’m doing this for a couple of people. My 14-year-old daughter who is SO different than I was, but still has her own insecurities to deal with. She has so much more self-confidence and “I am what I am” within her than I did at her age. I just want to make sure she doesn’t fall into any of the traps that I fell into beginning very close to her age, that kept me bound in chains for so many years.

    I also want to do this for my husband because I know that my insecurities hold me back from having the kind of relationship with him that God intends. He has his own insecurities, as well, and we kind of play off of each other. NOT a good thing.

    2)I need to be more deliberate about comparing myself to other women. It stirs up something yucky and foreign in me that rises like bile in my throat. I usually keep it to myself, but sometimes can come to tears over it. Your “equations” about 2+2=9 really hit home with me. I do ridiculous comparisons and I have always struggled with math!! 🙂 I will be deliberate about this by writing down the truths that God says about me and sticking them in places that I see every day so I won’t keep telling God (in so many words) that He’s a liar. How DARE I keep doing that after what He’s done for me?

    3)As far as a passion, I’ve thought a lot about this. I’ve had so many difficult things happen in my life, and have seen how God has worked such miracles out of the worst of circumstances, that any ONE of those things could be something I could pour myself into. And I’ve dabbled a bit in two of them- teen pregnancy and the world of autism. I was a single mom at age 22, which wasn’t a teen, but the things that got me there began as a teenager and I have a real heart for women who are lost… especially now that I’ve seen what freedom I have because of Christ. I deeply, deeply long for all women to feel that same freedom- to know that all is not lost because they once were. I’d like to find some avenue to help women in this area. And 4 1/2 years ago my then 2-year-old son was diagnosed with autism. It was the time of greatest despair in my life and I truly thought I’d never be happy again. And as I look back now, I am so sad that I felt like that. I was so wrong. It’s just a readjustment of dreams and of what you imagined your future to look like. And he is such a beautiful blessing! We don’t know what the future holds- we could have him forever. But, as you said in Tucson, because of the resurrection power of Jesus Christ, “only the tomb is empty!” Everything, EVERYTHING has purpose for our lives. I want to be able to help give hope to parents of children with special needs and give them reassurance and redirection with the help of Christ as they go through a huge shift in their lives. God is AWESOME and can give us purpose in EVERYTHING.

    Because of present circumstances with my son and this season of my life, I can’t throw myself completely into anything right now. But I DO plan on returning the favor God has given me (no matter how insignificant it is in comparison.) Once my youngest is in school all day, I hope to be able to have a little more time to give. Right now, it’s all family!

    Loving life! Loving my Jesus!

  13. 313
    Rockin' My Freedom says:

    1. Hands down my nieces are totally worth my efforts. I have played a big part in their lives yet none of them are walking with the Lord. They are caught up in a lot of things that are robbing them of true joy & it breaks my heart; yet I am mad about them anyway. I don’t push God on them because they were tweaked by their “super Christian” dad who has done deplorable things. Instead I choose to be their trusted sounding board. They tell me things a mother would be mortified to hear. I take those mortifying things to the Lord and plead His intervention and protection all the time. That is my calling for now. SLI has double-dose inspired me to “live abundantly and more effectively in Christ.” Perhaps the freedom in Christ I have will beckon them to seek freedom as well.

    2. Conversation with new people is my gifting and I could sure use it here. I like to make people feel like they matter. That involves looking at them directly in the eye when speaking or listening. I try to probe a little deeper than stereotypical q & a. I think improving upon this could help women see themselves well beyond their exterior.

    3. I suppose this goes along with #2. My passion is people (& my nieces). I want to help people feel like they matter.

  14. 314
    Katie Taylor says:

    I have a testimony of the power of speaking truth to yourself. The other day I went to my OBGYN for the dreaded yearly checkup. I had only been one time before (4 years ago before I was married) and the whole thing felt so violating that I have avoided going back till this year. I know that this checkup is no big deal, but I am such a private person, and the whole thing really bothers me. Anyway, they called me back and of course handed me the paper vest and sheet to put on. So, I undressed and worked that paper around me to cover as much as possible so as to maintain some ounce of dignity while I’m waiting. I felt so exposed and weak sitting there and I began to be anxious. THEN, God spoke a verse to me that I had been working on memorizing from this book study…”You ARE CLOTHED with strength and dignity”. I sat there stunned. That verse took on a completely new meaning for me in that particular context, and I marveled at how profoundly it applied to me right then. So, I whispered to myself aloud, “I am clothed with strength and dignity…even though I’m practically unclothed, God says I AM CLOTHED, and my clothing is strength and dignity!” Somehow, I began to even feel beautiful sitting there in that paper gown. Almost as if I was wearing a gown Christ had wrapped around me. And of course I was, for I AM clothed with Jesus Christ Himself! By the time the doctor strolled in I was extraordinarily calm and was even able to make small talk throughout the examine without feeling an ounce of anxiety. For me, that was victory!

    • 314.1
      Mischelle says:

      I just finished reading your post and I HAD to tell you this…WAY TO GO GIRL!!! PRAISE THE LORD!!! I hope and pray that when I have to have my next OBGYN exam that the Holy Spirit does for me exactly what He did for you. Again, PRAISE THE LORD!!!

      Love in Jesus,

    • 314.2
      Devanee says:

      Thank you so much for sharing that! If we can think of it in that situation we can think of it in our everyday life insecurity situations too. Profound! Victory Indeed!

  15. 315
    MMMom says:

    1) My desire is for my two teenage girls. I want them to feel secure and confident in themselves and their values in a world that mocks those values. I want them to stand firm and be clothed with strength and dignity.

    2) This blog has been so valuable helping my insecurity with other women. To read comments that could be mine helps me see we are all feeling the same things, for the most part. Instead of feeling insecure around them or tearing them apart in my mind, I try to see them as the amazing women God has made them, flaws and all. This has taken the “look” off my face and replaced it with a smile. It has kept me from avoiding eye contact from feeling inferior to direct eye contact and a smile. I don’t feel as threatened anymore. Amen.

    3) As I neared the end of chapter 16, I started feeling anxious. I knew what was coming. What is my passion? I have been praying about this for about a year. I think for now it is to finish raising my last daughter but then what? I never thought of my passion being connected to the pain in my life. Volunteering will be a great start. Just where to? God and I will continuing this conversation and I’m listening very closely.

  16. 316
    Rhonda says:


    1. I’ve recognized my insecurity for a LONG TIME!! I have always “believed” I never had a daughter because I would have messed her up with who I am. Been working a long time now with God about getting on with it…this has been a great boost!
    Who is worth me getting on…My soon-to-be-born granddaughter, Cheyenne!! I have a grandson, Carson, that I know it would benefit too! He needs to see(not just me) great examples of women who are confident in Christ. I want to stop the cycling!!
    2. I think…therefore I depersonalize…I will work on that!!!
    3. My passion? We (my husband & I) gave up our passion, working with the youth in our church…long story…but that is what I have been and still am passionate about. Getting young people to see God for who He is, knowing Him, and realizing that it is not all about them! 🙂

  17. 317

    1. I want to do this for my precious daughters (ages 22 and 24) so I can leave them a legacy of security.

    2. To be part of the solution, I need to think the best of others, not the worst, stop thinking of them as competitors, stop subtracting value from myself in order to give credit to others and start personalizing other women. All of these points in the chapter were new to me and very helpful. This week, I caught myself praying for a woman that I had previously thought of as a competetor (even though she didn’t know she was one!) and it was total bliss to experience that kind of freedom!

    3.I honestly don’t know what my passion is. I have been praying for years that God would show me and I haven’t noticed an answer yet. But, I am not discouraged. I look to His Word to see what I should do. For example, Titus 2:3-5 says that we are to mentor the younger women, so that is what I am doing. I am learning some helpful tips so that I can be more effective. I also lead a small group discussion for Bible study at our church. We just finished Breaking Free. I was so excited to hear so many women say that originally they didn’t think that study would be applicable to them, but how shocked they were that it was and how helpful it was. It was incredible for me. I feel like that along with this study has changed my entire thought process.

    Thank you so much for writing this book. There have been so many facets of it that have changed me from the inside out and I can’t wait to see what the Lord will do with all of this!

  18. 318
    Hannah says:

    I wish I would have started reading this book earlier!!! I just started it last week, and I have to say, I can’t put it down. I can relate to so many parts of this book that its a bit scary. Yesterday, I had the chance to read the chapter on our passions. One of my biggest passions is to see young girls find their worth in Jesus alone. Not only has this been one of my own biggest struggles, but I have seen how profoundly this issue affects the students I have in my class. The thing I am struggling with right now…is how do I start? In my classroom? Outside of it?

  19. 319
    Marcia says:

    OOOh I have waited too long to comment. Had to work out a few more areas of insecurity!

    1. I have two children, a boy and girl. I desire for both of them to live confidently with their hearts and minds secure in Jesus. I am especially concerned for my 11 year old daughter. She is confident, strong willed, intelligent, athletically gifted,loves God and beautiful. Ever since she was born, people tend to relate to her according to her physical beauty.(So much so that they would ignore her brother.) I know that beauty is “fleeting” – I do not want that to become the place where she finds her security. I also realize that I have not modeled the life of security in Jesus. I want her to look to the Lord for her life – all else will fail her. She is a great kid.

    2. I believe we can be part of the solution. We need to stop the gossip, keep confidences, be trustworthy. We need to listen more and talk less. When we talk, we need to build each other up – encourage, pray for etc. We need to laugh at ourselves and some of our mistakes – not all of them are life threatening! 🙂

    3.My passion is to teach women God’s Word in such a way that it results in a closer relationship with Him. I desire to see women become biblically literate not for the sake of knowledge but for the purpose of knowing Him – the source of their life! I love that aha moment when a woman gets it.
    I was reluctant to share this because it sounds so much like what you do Beth, and I was worried that it would sound inauthentic. But I said , NO, this is my passion and desire and maybe that is why I relate to Beth in some ways. I love God and love seeing him at work in people’s lives. He is good.

    Marcia/Portland, OR/50s/married

  20. 320

    1) Any child I come into contact with inspires me to be an example for. I love children. When I was growing up I had the chance to be a nanny around the age of 15. I was so determined from that day on that no child that I ever came into contact with would lack knowing that they were loved. I would hold them till they fell asleep. I treated them like they were my own. I went on to nanny for several other families up until my mid twenties. I poured myself into their lives. Having been so abused at such a young age it was such a blessing for me to hold that baby and know that he or she had arms to be held in and nourished with and that those arms were mine because when I was in their shoes I didn’t have those arms.

    2) Just becoming more secure in who God has made me to be and sharing that in conversation but also in behavior. We need to see more Godly women walking around with dignity and their heads held high secure in who they are in Christ not cowering in a corner afraid of everything. I pray I can become one of these women and inspire those around me.

    3) I’m passionate about people of all ages and all walks of life. My heart is so tender towards others. Lately it seems that a lot of my friends are struggling. The devil is attacking families and marriages around me and I don’t like it. So my passion has become prayer. When they share with me what is going on or I hear it through another source I just ask “What can I pray for you?” Lately I’ve seen more than a few marriages fall apart. It breaks my heart. People that were like second families to me. Godly people. The devil is trying so hard. So the harder he tries the harder I’m going to pray. I know that this is something that isn’t a ministry or a direct contact to people but I hate to see people hurting. And as I mentioned in my answer to question number one I hate to see children neglected and hurt. My heart breaks for them too. I just want to see people succeed in life. Have a God experience where they can know with all their heart that God does love them. I try to find ways that I can help. If its cleaning a house or watching the kids.

    ~Amanda Taylor
    Richmond, VA
    29 Years Old
    Married 5 Years

  21. 321
    Tina Hawk says:

    37 years old

    My Passion – Who in the world really knows? I sure don’t. I read through many of others’ responses. I wish I was that sure of my passion. I know that God has used my life experiences, my failures and past, my spiritual giftedness, etc to create for me a unique place to serve him passionately. He is still gently guiding me there. I wanted to be totally honest and say that it seems my only passion these days is food, cooking it, and especially eating it 🙂 Other than food, I passionately love my man, my kids, my family, and worship music. After arriving back from a mission trip to Thailand, my heart is beginning to develop a passion for those who have never heard. Praying that in God’s timing, he continues to dance over me and that his passion overflows into me.

  22. 322
    Katie Taylor says:

    Russellville, AL

    1. I don’t have kids of my own, but your point on page 273 struck me, “The entire generation of adult women in any culture is systematically raising the next.” I began thinking about every girl younger than me that I see and know as “my daughter”. Then, God reminded me of a verse in Nehemiah (i think?) that says “Fight for your sons and daughters”. “My girls” are 4 college age girls that I am in class with and a few little 3rd and 4th grade girls on Wednesday nights in my AWANA discipleship class. One in particular haunts me. She is one of my Wednesday night girls and she comes on the bus on Wednesday nights only. I don’t think she has ever been to church before or heard of God before. She is terribly timid and quiet and very much insecure for a 3rd grade girl who is so cute and charming. She just memorized her first verse last night and I high-fived her and hugged her and made over her in the biggest way. I want to her to go home (to only Lord knows what) having tasted the truth of her worth to God as a young lady made in His image. Even though it may be years before these girls understand all that they are memorizing as a part of their coursework, I want them to take away from being with me a love and excitement for God and His Word.

    2. For me, I need to stop myself when I am tempted to compare myself with other women which only always leaves me feeling less. I need to actively remember that I’m an “original” while appreciating the “orginal” God has created them to be. I also think appreciating their originality as a woman uniquely stamped in God’s image is another way of personalizing them. In fact, one thing God taught me to do with a friend who is profoundly gifted in speaking when I attend a conference with her and I’m tempted to feel less in comparison to her is to instead stop and praise God for who she is and for her giftedness. Somehow, giving Him the credit through praise over how amazing she is keeps me from buying the lie that I’m less in comparison. It actually encourages me b/c it reminds me that the same Spirit that works in her works in me, but in different yet equally amazing ways.

    3. My passion is discipleship. For the most part, all that I desire in that is still in “dream-form”. It wasn’t until 2 years ago, when I lost my job and had a broken heart and unlimited time on my hands, that I myself began to be seriously discipled as a follower of Jesus Christ. I have been a Christian for years but until now was never taught HOW to live my faith out in the struggles of daily life. Heck, for most of my believing life I wasn’t even sure I was aloud to apply these Words to my own life. Even worse, I barely knew what the Word actually said and meant in its true context. So, ever since 2 years ago when the Living Word first began jumping into my own life and working in and through me in a real way, a fire has burned in me to be part of helping others to see the truths of God’s Word applied to their lives too.

    I want to be part of bringing deep teaching on theology and doctrine from seminary into the local church. These are pretty wild dreams for a young woman who’s never been to seminary herself. Nevertheless, I am praying for God to make a way for me to go and to be trained so I can be part of this. I’m convinced that once God’s people get a taste of pure and unadulterated teaching of God’s Word, they will also be ignited with a love for it and no one could keep them from fulfilling the Great Commission. That’s what happened (and still is) for me.

    God has also nurtured this passion by bringing to my attention a pastor with profound insight into the heart of Matthew 28:18-20 and who has articulated exactly what my heart was longing to see as far as an advanced and more concentrated version of discipleship in the local church goes. In fact, I was floored to learn seminary professors in their church offer seminary classes to their members every semester, and they strive to extensively train new members and new leaders in God’s Word. That pastor’s name is David Platt and their church is The Church at Brookhills in Birmingham, AL. You can check them out at

  23. 323
    Anne says:

    Greenville, SC

    1. My inspiration is for my future grandchildren. I have learned so much in this study, not only for myself, but it has helped me understand the actions of others so much. I plan to share some of this with my 21 year old son.I want him to live secure in Whose he is and at his age he deals with much peer pressure. My daughter isn’t insecure but I am encouraging her to read the book so she can recommend it to some of her friends who really need it.I have a relative who I have been sharing many of the things I have learned from your studies and then this marvelous book comes along and ties it all together. Bless you for doing this book and transforming an undeterminable number of lives.
    2. I can start bcoming part of the solution by being on guard against looking at other females as rivals and calling myself on it if I start. I need to pray daily about this so through God’s power I can see them as women struggling with insecurity and also pray for them. I need to personalize each one. I also need to reach out in friendship and not trigger another’s insecurity by my behavior, dress or actions.
    3. My passion is for other women to draw closer in relationship with Christ through Bible study – for them to fall in love with Jesus and not see it as a life of NO. I want young women to have the benefit of living this life and its power as they raise their children. How I wish I had had the depth of this transforming relationship when I was raising my children!! I attend a large church and only a very small percentage are involved in indepth Bible study and I want other to know how much it could help them in day to day living.

  24. 324
    Angie says:

    1. My daughter Amanda is more than worth getting rid of my insecurity. I do NOT want her to inherit any of my insecurity. She is a beautiful 12-year-old girl who loves God. She is very positive and puts me to shame many times by being the one to point out the “bright side.” She enjoys learning and loves to read her Bible. The other day I walked past her as she was reading and highlighting and was amazed to see nearly every verse in a particular chapter highlighted. She really thinks about the word and likes to talk about it. She is a joy to me.

    2. I plan to be deliberate by “taking every thought captive.” Rather than letting the negative thoughts run rampant through my mind, I am going to look at her and think that she is just like me. She has problems too. She’s not perfect. Her life is not perfect.

    3. I am currently trying to figure out just what my passion might be. Certainly my family but beyond that I am not sure.

    30’s, married

  25. 325
    Kelly S. says:

    1)This was one of my favorite chapters! The part about AB reminded me of the SSMTC. I was in the meet and greet line late on Saturday when Michelle had everyone get in groups of 4. It was crazy (and funny now) finding 3 other Siestas 🙂 When it was time for our picture I gave you a quick hug and said “I love you, Beth”, and you said, “I love you too,….Kelly” (I had a name tag on). There is something about a name, and I appreciate you for noticing mine especially during that crazy few minutes 🙂
    My girls: Olivia 11, she’s my study girl. Loves to read and has several translations of the bible opened every night before she goes to bed (Praise YOU, Lord). She is very tender hearted and tries so hard to be obdient, even when Im too hard on her. Precious.
    Emily 8. She’s my prayer warrior. Every night when I tell her good night, she is in bed, lights out, with her flashlight on and prayer journal open. Precious. They both have a special relationship with their younger brother, Owen, who has Down’s 🙂

    2)I think praying for my fellow sisters is a good start toward the solution. Praying for a tender heart toward women, and eyes to see past our actions to our need. Also, trying to pass on what I have learned on this journey to my girls…and their friends. Galatians 5.26 MSG was HUGE. I loved that!

    3)For the last eight years my passion has increasingly been to know Christ. By the grace of God, I have had time to study, pray and just spend time seeking Him. I have not worked (outside home) for 10 years, and the time is coming that I may re-enter the work force. I want to be where He wants me. During this time, I have come to love the Church. I love the Body of Christ, how it functions, what is to be happening in the Church Age is facinating to me. I love discipleship and seeing people get excited about worship and using their gifts. I think that is one reason I love live events so much, I just love to be with God’s people.

  26. 326

    Meghan S.
    30s, Married
    Round Rock, TX

    I loved the Easter pictures you posted…what a special family!

    1. This book is worth going through for so many different reasons! The faces that come to mind that make it worth it are my son’s (15 mos.) and his future wife; my husband’s, that I would be free from expecting from him that which only Jesus can give me; and the little neighbor girls that come over to play with us when we’re out front. The things they already talk about in first grade…I’m astounded. Oh, that I would be a ‘secure’ light!

    2. The two areas that stuck out to me the most in how I can be a part of the solution are the comparison/competition trap. Even in the blog/social media world I find myself falling into it. The Lord is doing a lot in this area in me as this has been something I’ve struggled with for years. But I’m taking my thoughts captive to the obedience of Christ…moment by moment. I want to be a genuine encouragement to other women, having Jesus’ eyes and heart for them.

    3. I am passionately in the depths of raising a toddler, most days loving it more than I ever could have imagined! 🙂 Some day, I’d like to see what God has in store for me in the area of writing.

  27. 327
    Mindy says:

    1) Without a doubt, the first person that comes to mind is my daughter! She is the reason I began attending church again (after several years of being lost). To put it as my mother did, “She loves God” and it had nothing to do with my influence, that was for sure! I feel that she deserves so much more than her life has so far presented and that includes a strong, healthy, Christ-devoted mother! I am SO ready to be that for her (as well as my other children), but I am also ready to be that for ME!

    2) For me, it has to do with loving others – undonditionally. I have a friend who has done this for me and I cannot begin to describe the encouragement it has given me to grow closer to God and reflect on my life in ways that allow me to be a better ‘me’. In addition to witnessing the true power of what honest love can do, I feel it is the foundation of what we are called to do. I’m not sure which bible study it is from, but I remember you asking the question, “Are you loving people better than you were a year ago?” as a way to measure our spiritual growth. Love God. Love others. God’s simplicity is so refreshing!

    3) I often feel ‘all over the place’ when it comes to things that interest me. I have a number of different hobbies and jobs, and get excited when presented with new challenges or opportunities – to the point where I tend to scare people with my enthusiasm. The one CONSTANT that I have identified in everything that excites me has to do with GROWTH. Learning – Improving – Growing. There is a physical change – an excitement – that takes place when I know that growth is happening and I enjoy being a part of it!

    I love when God shows himself to me by blending the varieties of life and presenting a CONSTANT that is woven throughout them all! Growth is my constant.

    Oakdale, CA

  28. 328
    Gritsgirl721 says:

    Chapters 14, 15, and 16’s answers really all fit together for me. I teach K-1 Resource children. I have two nieces that are 13 and 16. I want to be whole and secure to be the right kind of influence in their lives as well as the little girls I teach. I know I can influence what I haven’t learned myself. My passion is for families. I desire to see women strong and whole so that their marriages are whole and then families are stronger to weather the things our world is facing until Jesus returns. In turn when families are strong, the children feel secure and have much greater motivation to learn. As they learn and develop their gifts, they can begin to understand God’s purpose for their lives. My spiritual gift is encouragement so I can help my fellow sisters in Christ by encouraging them to not give up on themselves changing and growing. I can encourage the parents and children I teach to keep trying and trusting God to give them healthy families. Because my own family was not healthy even though Christian, I have a deep running passion to see this change for future families. I praise God for how He’s helping to heal and to help others. It’s exciting!!!

    Olive Branch, Ms

  29. 329
    Rindie says:

    1) I had a hard time thinking of someone in my life right now, besides the two cousins I have who are 8 and 12…but I don’t see them very often. I will definitely be more conscious around them, now, though! I mainly thought I can choose to live a life of security right now for the future wives of my three sons. I want my boys to see the model of a secure and sound woman so that they will pick strong, secure women as mates.

    2) In our MOPS groups, the women tend to use the time to vent their frustrations, rather than edify each other. While it’s nice to know we’re not alone, I want to leave the meeting feeling that I encouraged someone else by being open and honest. For me, that not only means sharing about the struggles, but exhorting them to find rest and grace and strength in Christ. It’s sometimes not easy for me to share that openly or boldly, but I will be praying for the security to put my faith out there more often!

    3) As the mom of 3 small boys (5 and under), I feel like I’m living my passion right now. All I ever wanted was to be a mommy! But I know this season of my life will pass, and I am anxiously calling on God to put something in my heart for the future. I really would love to lead a small group or Sunday School class in the future. I love to study and teach and could see myself doing that again one day!


  30. 330
    Dionna says:

    I’m still a little behind so I’m going to just answer #3 –

    First and foremost I am very passionate about my faith. I just can’t do life with God. Then I’m passionate about my family. Add to that something outside of myself….it would be my writing right now and impacting others in a positive way. I’m passionate about getting people to see things – getting Christians to see how they make concessions here and there, getting moms to see they are missing out on the joy of being a parent, getting women to see they don’t need to be perfect & put on a “face” for others — I’m just passionate about people being real! I love to write about my faith and for this season – am so thankful God allows me to do it.

  31. 331
    Dionna says:

    That should say “I just can’t do life WITHOUT God!” Sheesh. After going on about my passion to write – I could at least proofread!

  32. 332
    Lynn says:

    Married, 50’s, Montana
    1. I must live abundantly and effectively in Christ for my daughter and daughter-in-law. They are on the opposite ends of the spectrum and need my example desperately. One is driven to excel and compete at the highest level in pediatric oncology research – working so hard she has little, if any, energy for herself and for our family. I can relate as I had the drive to excel until I woke up. I totally understand why the Lord from her into our family. The other is caught in a debate with herself on how best to be authentic and contribute in this life. Her dilemna is how to choose her career and remain true to herself. I must be in Christ to be an example to each.
    2. Deliberate in my wholeness. Maintaining my patience and peace to my core by daily prayer and Bible study, so God’s strength can sustain me as I support my family in their decisions and choices. Active listening and compassion can only be maintained with God’s strength and His grace. As I branch out in my service at Church and in my interactions with other women I must move slowly to assure God’s will is being done and I align with His plan, not mine. Prayer and discernment in God’s Word takes diligence and dedication. Not triggering another’s insecurity, personalizing other women and not competing are active tools that I exercise every day. I pray you will keep this blog open so we can share as we all learn how to be whole every day, day in and day out. Amen.
    3. I am blessed to have my health in retirement. God has led me to Stephen Ministry. After completing Bible Study Fellowship’s full seven-year study, I wanted more personal service maybe one-on-one. Stephen Ministry training and service fulfilled me and has become my passion. Moving in retirement to Montana has brought me to a place with no active Stephen Ministry. I have joined the same church of my childhood with a new Pastor who has started discussions with the Care Committee on Stephen Ministry before I arrived. God is good and am committed to moving slowly to implement this ministry. I am also feeling called to lead Bible study in the Church and community. Amen

  33. 333

    1) My sisters. I have 3…two are step sisters but they are all just sisters in my heart. Blood related or not, i love them. They are all younger than me, two are Freshman in College and one is about to be a freshman in High School. At the end of the day they are what drive me probably more than anything,to just love Jesus,and seek Him first. They see all the good, bad, and ugly, i can’t fake it for them, they would see straight through,not that i want to, but you get the idea. “my” sister is 18 and smart, smart, smart, she is pre-med enough said, and loves horses, and very shy, but really witty when she want to be, my step sister,who is he same age,loves horses as well, but likes having a social life more than school sometimes, and the youngest can make friends with anyone. They are all so beautiful,and i love them so much.

    2)it sounds so simple, but love. Don’t expect people to be perfect, just love them. I learned this through a situation about ago with a girl,and we both learned our lesson, but what healed us and out friendship, is getting in the Word,and being honest with God, and with ourselves,and confessing out sins. It is so cool, to see how God has restored and made all things knew, but what helped me, and helps me, is to just love people, and especially the women in your life, just love them. It might sound simple, but James 1:22 is what got my attention with my friend, i can’t go on being made when i know God has called me to love and forgive!

    3)My Passion?? WOW! Children,Young Women, and Family! To love on kids, wheather it is at my job as an after school teacher,or as a worship leader for the k-2nd graders, so love these kids, or girls caught in trafficking, orphans..etc and show them the love of Christ, to see young girls love Jesus, love God’s Word, and find healing in His hands. To help girls not look for love in all the wrong places, but walk in purity, and seek first the Kingdom of God, and trust that He will bring them them man he has for them,but trust and wait on God, don’t look for what you are only going to find in Jesus in a boy,job, popularity, clothes, GPA, status..etc. And, Family, coming from a divorces home, after I came to know Christ at 12, God put an amazing women in my life was waiting on God’s best for marriage. She didn’t date in HS but as Prom Queen, but was seeking God first, and i been able to see Her meet the guy, date in purity, marry, and now expecting her 2nd baby, and through her i developed that same passion to wait on God for His highest and best for me. I want to have a marrige where we are partners in ministry, love Jesus, and can raise our family in The Faith. And to enourage other Students,College,Girls, Guys,..etc to wait on God, it is always worth it. I want to Teach, and sing, and be married and have a family, and do missions…etc. I want to love people, and show them NOTHING is better than Jesus Christ!

  34. 334
    Steph says:

    My first post! I have been playing catch up all week while on Spring Break. I am reading right along with you, but a friend just told me that you were doing this on the blog. So here I am.

    I was at the bookstore and saw your book last month. We were just finishing the Ester study at church and I barely had 2 dimes to rub together that day, but I had to take a look at this book. Since study was ending for the summer, I was excited to see maybe I could read something on my own. However, I have a PILE of “self-help” books or parenting books I have not gotten to. So maybe this book could wait. But as I was flipping through the book, the Holy Spirit brought me right to Chapter 14, page 272/273….and I knew RIGHT THEN that I HAD to read this book to deal with some my own STUFF so I don’t pass it on to my 4-year old daughter. My daughter is beautiful in a very unique way…people compliment her all the time, yet she is already insecure in that and hides from people and wants to be like other little girls (how they dress, their hair color or texture, etc). How can I protect her from this world — she already feels this? I must be an example of a secure, Godly woman. Thank you Beth for bringing me on this journey with all these amazing women and yourself. I needed this. This whole book is speaking to me. I plan to speak Psalm 84:1 to her DAILY at bedtime, until she KNOWS that her security comes from HIM. Not from her looks, other people, what she does, or what she does/performance. Little will she know we are learning this together, daughter and mother. She is my passion. And boy o’boy, God gave me a stinker to work with!!!!

  35. 335
    Kristin says:

    1. I need to live abundantly and effectively in Christ for my children. I want to break the cycle, for their sake.

    2. Remember who I am in Christ and that I am clothed with dignity and strength. Stop letting insecurity affect my relationships and encourage others to do the same.

    3. I too come from a background of abuse. Your description on page 308 described me as a teenager: “We were the ones who settled for so much less in our relationships, caved to pressure, felt like we always had to have a boyfriend, and acted like no was all but missing from our list of multiple-choice answers.” I suffered abuse as a teenager, but I already possessed these characteristics that you listed, prior to my abuse. I put myself in a relationship that I KNEW was not good and suffered greatly because of it.

    I still don’t have a clear vision on where my passion is taking me, but I do feel that it will be in this area that I suffered much pain. Just as you stated on page 311, “Your past has not come full circle to its complete redemption until you allow Christ to not only defuse it, but also to use it.” I have allowed the pain to affect my life adversely – way too long. I’m ready to change.


  36. 336

    Sorry I’m late getting these answered – been a crazy couple of weeks!

    1. Someone who is worth what it takes for me to live abundantly and effectively in Christ? Well, my first thought is that I would say my daughter – if I had one. I have one boy child who just turned 16. Although I never had a girl, I do have nieces that look up to me. I need to do it for them first of all. I also have 3 sisters (no brothers) that I want to influence in a positive way. If that’s not enough, I work in women’s ministry and if I want to be effective, I need to be secure in who I am.

    2. I can be part of the solution to this problem with my gender by trying to build up and encourage my sisters when they have issues with their insecurity.

    3. My passion is writing and women’s ministry. I currently work full time in the secular work place and attend college part time. I am hoping to work in women’s ministry full time. I also have taken a step of faith and started sharing my faith-based writing with others as a freelance writer in my hometown newspaper. I’m looking for more opportunities to share my thoughts and my journey with the Lord and hope to support myself as a writer very soon.

  37. 337
    Carolina Cheesehead says:

    3. My passion is studying/learning more about the Word and teaching and discipleship. I am mostly involved with Women’s ministry and small groups but am passionate about my 4 boys loving the Word as much as I am the gals I work with.

  38. 338
    Amy says:

    Washington, D.C.

    1. Someone who is worth doing what it takes for me to live abundantly and effectively in Christ is my future daughter. I’m not married and I do not have any children, but I have seen what generational curses can do to a family; I would hate to have this curse pass on to my future daughter. When I picture having a little girl I want so desperately for her to be able to see me as someone she can look up to rather than some strange, popular young girl who has nothing to do with Christ. I also want to live abundantly and effectively in Christ for other young ladies in this world. Lately, God has been touching my heart in this area and I have to say…I’m scared. I’ve thought I’ve had to be perfect in order to speak to others and encourage them to live better lives for Jesus. Just the other day my Bible study group leader emailed me and told me she believes I am a great leader…especially for women. When she said that I almost cried. If this is the path I’m supposed to take with my life I pray God continues to confirm it in my spirit and heart. I want so desperately to fullfill His commission in only the way He made me to help fullfill it.

    2. I believe as I grow in my own security I will be better equipped to encourage other women around me (in my Bible study, in my church, in my work environment, and other places). I am prepared to continue learning through the Word and through prayer. I plan to be deliberate by putting myself out there and starting small so that God can increase my horizons. Like I said, my group leader told me I was a great leader and asked me if I would consider starting a small group this coming summer. This was something I believe God placed on my heart several weeks ago, but I felt inadequate to do it…but as I’ve read your book, Beth, I’ve come to the realization that I don’t have to solve the problem first to write, lead, or speak about it. You dealt with insecurity as you wrote, right? Well, I believe God can use me right where I am, I just need to dig even deeper and closer to His Word to be better trained and equipped.

    3. What is my passion? Oh gosh, Beth, I wish I could just have a simple answer to this; for the first time in 8 years (no, longer! 10 years!) I have come to a point of confusion, and I hate it. Confusion isn’t of Christ, but when I hear the word “passion.” I get excited, yet scared. I am a very passionate person; especially about the things I love…but right now I’m so focused on knowing the right answer (God’s ultimate plan for me) that I’m not taking risks. My passion is writing, helping people (especially women), children, some government issues like life and the family, and Jesus. I’m going through a small book (really a group or individual study) called Six Steps to Finding Your Calling by Carol Kent. It has been such an eye opener. Once step is writing your own purpose statement. It’s not about some specific job or area for a career; it’s a general purpose statement that includes God working through you, you working through people, and simple and short enough to memorize. My mission statement is close to being finished and when it is I’ll write it out in my commnets.

    Oh Beth, I really wish I could get a hug from you right now! I am hanging on to every word from question 3 you wrote. My passions are in dream-form right now and while I’m interviewing for jobs in D.C. for things like legal-assistant positions and entry-level work, I know to continue doing what I know to do until God opens a door somewhere else. Part of me wants to get a steady job so I can start sharpening my writing skills on my own time…so maybe one day my dream of a children’s book will come true. And who knows? Maybe to an audience of women.

  39. 339
    Casi says:

    1) My 10-year-old daughter, Taylor, is my inspiration for just dealing with my stuff. I, in no way, want my insecurities rubbing off on her. Unfortunately, she suffered a broken elbow, which required emergency surgery last October. You can only imagine the scar that left (did I mention the plate and SIX screws?) and watching her be self-conscious about it has BROKEN MY HEART…and I can’t help but wonder if me being self-conscious has rubbed off on her and made this experience even worse for her. But I KNOW my GOD can heal BOTH of us.

    2) This chapter SOOOOO made me stand up and take notice because I am absolutely guilty of so many of the things discussed within its confines. I am one of the world’s worst at comparisons and sizing people up and it’s all because of MY insecurity. I used to be fixated on how much money we had, what type of house we lived in, what size jeans I was wearing, etc. Through GOD alone, I have gotten much better but I am not leaning on Him more than ever before to break the remaining chains of this behavior.

    3) My passion of late is being an encourager to other women who are struggling through a rough patch in their marriage. My husband and I are a true testament of the work of the Lord as there is no way – outside of Him – that we should still be married today. Through infidelity, addictive behavior, immorality, turning from the Lord and just making one bad decision after another, we’ve been through the ringer. And it was all because of decisions WE made. All OUR fault. But God met us where we were once we finally decided to DO SOMETHING about it. And He has not let go. And our family has never been closer. I thank Him every single day for that MIRACLE and I so want other women to know that it is possible. It’s not easy. It’s not always fun. And it’s a lot of work. But the reward is so much greater than anything I could have EVER imagined.

  40. 340
    Lonna says:

    So married
    Albany, OR

    Only a day late getting my comment on! Good for me!
    Chapter 13 drained me and got so to the point of things that I was left feeling discouraged wondering how the heck do I even begin to apply all that I am reading and learning!? But then you, dear Beth, redirected my mind BACK to the Bible, the unshakable word of our loving Creator, where I was reminded that “this all surpassing power is from God and not from us.” 2Cor 4:7 I just need to be willing and have an open heart, He’ll do the work. Whew! But that’s not to say I’m still pondering things, a lot. Like exactly what do I say to God when I pray for someone who repeatedly hurts me, by lying about me and to me and is just plain unkind at times? And she never apologizes even when confronted! Avoidance here can only go so far because this person is also a family member and so I am required to be in her presence a few times a year. What kind of blessing do I pray? I do ask for forgiveness for my attitude but things still hurt. She is an emotional wreck, not so much an emotional predator (and thank you for pointing out the differences). She wears her emotional wreck around her like the cloud of dust that followed Pigpen in the Charlie Brown cartoon, but I’m tired of having her sap me dry when I’m around her. I need practical help here. Please.
    Ok, on to this weeks questions.


    Well, all my children, but mostly the 2 girls still at home and my darling 4 year old granddaughter. My 23 year old daughter is a mess; emotionally and spiritually and she is that way in spite of everything I tried to do right while bringing her up (including attending and being active in church several times a week, homeschooling her, piano lessons, youth choir, dance, you name it, I did it). She is now the mother of my granddaughter and it scares me. So while I remain in prayer for my daughter, I am active in my granddaughters life as much as I can. I want her to see what it is to live abundantly, what it means to have joy unspeakable, what it means to be secure in Christ. She is 4 years old and is a complete delight and lives every day to go to Sunday School. She will grow up surrounded by healthy aunts and grandparents and she is worth it.


    Encourage. When a friend recently shared with me her plans to have a home birth with this baby she’s waited 15 years to have, I congratulated her immediately! She was taken aback by my reaction because she shared that almost everyone she told this to, told her it was a bad idea. I assured her that she is a smart woman capable of making good decisions as is her husband. So, reassuring someone where they are lacking confidence is a good way to be a part of the solution.
    I have another friend who for a long time has been having a rough time in her marriage, even on the brink of separation. She is a kindergarten teacher at a school where I work as well. One day, during what I knew was a particularly hard time in her marriage, I walked by her classroom and heard her singing a worship song with her kids. Tears came to my eyes as I heard her voice lifted in joyous and worshipful testimony that in spite of all the enemy was trying to do to her family, she still loved and was so loved by her Savior. I called her that night and shared that with her and she was so encouraged. So in spite of her insecurities, her life was a testimony to me and she needed to know that.
    I’m prepared to encourage even when I don’t know how it will be received.


    One of my passions is to give. To make my time on this earth count in the eyes of eternity. To matter. Instead of a vacation, to go on a mission trip. I was raised on the mission field and watched my mom give of herself to the point where physically there wasn’t much left sometimes, but spiritually,she was always strong. My passion is to leave with my kids what my mom left me with when she died; faith in God. She may not have always been the most compassionate parent, but where she may have at times contributed to my pain, she left me faith in a God who heals all pain, sorrows and more than makes up for sloppy parenting. Immediately after she left this earth, I cradled her head to my chest and through my tears, I thanked her for being a wonderful mom and giving me Jesus. That is my passion, to leave all my children and grandchildren with that same eternal gift. And also, while I’m here on earth, to be very open about my personal changes and growth, to become even more like Christ, transformed in front of my family, living it out in front of them, setting an example, being passionate about my walk with God, my love for Him and His love for me and them as well. I’m sure at about 3:00 AM, which is usually when I have my brilliant moments, I’ll think of something grand and glorious that I could have said, but you have 10:00 AM version and it will just have to do. 🙂

  41. 341
    Marie Cauley says:

    I have nieces I want to encourage, plus I want my son to learn the right way to treat women. Thankfully my husband is a great example to our son, but there are still things he sees others do that are not acceptable.

    Something I’ve learned to do is make a list of things I like about myself, and I encourage other women to do the same. Then they need to refer back to the list whenever someone or something is causing them to feel insecure.

    My passion is writing!!! I love to write about so many subjects, health, music, dance…but also Inspirational Romance, to encourage others to live their best lives and go for their God-given dreams! :o)

  42. 342
    Erin says:

    1. It’s worth it to me for my sister-in-law who is 15. She is dealing with many things I never had to. My prayer for her is that she would find her worth and security in Christ now so she doesn’t have to retrain herself how to in the future. My hope is that I can be an example to her (preferably a good one and not a bad!)

    2. First and foremost I can pray!! Then I think I can do my best to genuinely give praise and encouragement to those around me. Do my best to bless and build up the ladies in my life. Do my best to not out due others too!! Practice a little humility daily!!

    3. Helping others be good stewards of what God has given them. Biblical principles for budgeting and getting out of debt. For living in freedom in regards to their finances! Been in bondage there before and I have been set free – Praise the Lord through the truth in God’s Word!!

    Glendale, CALIFORNIA
    Happily Married

  43. 343
    Karen says:

    1. Our miracle child #1, Melissa Joye, soon to be 21yrs. old is an inspiration to me. This means my heart has been walking around outside my body for 21 years! I love the treasure she is. Melissa is a beautiful woman of God, inside and out. She is currently completing her final yr. @ Bible school. It is such a thrill to see how she has blossomed through the intense study of scripture and deepening faith-walk with The Father. I admire her courage and faith and absolutely love to hear her laugh and sing. She challenges her fears in ways I can’t help but admire. Instead of shying away from them, she faces them with God’s help and willingly places herself in God’s hands as He stretches her. wow. Still, I see some insecurities where she needlessly second -guesses herself etc. I know I haven’t been the best role model for her or her brother in this area of insecurities. I figure it isn’t too late to change that. I look forward to seeing all that God is going to do in me, and in my children. He is good!

    2.Having recently moved to this small, new community I am still getting to know people and figuring out what my new “sphere of influence” is. Already though, I have felt a myriad of insecurities, caught myself judging (ugh!),wondering how the women in the sm. church see me etc. etc. — in Beth’s words -“vain imaginations” sigh … What I want to do is to be intentional about encouraging and thanking the women I feel intimidated by for what they do and how they do it; to not judge- myself or others and to extend grace.

    3. God has given me a heart for babies, young children and their moms. I have loved children since I was one. Children have been a part of my life, always, in one way or another. My husband and I wanted to have a large family here. Instead we have two incredible gifts from Him here on earth and 3 who await our arrival in heaven one day. (today is the anniversary of the birth and death of our first born 22 yrs. ago) Still, God in His faithfulness and love blessed us with our two miracles as well as a large adopted family of 8 godchildren and their families, and other friends & their little ones. I love being able to encourage young moms in the midst of some of the trying times of childrearing and to rejoice with them over the wonders and joys of the same. I pray for opportunities to be involved similarly here in our new town. That said, I am aware also that the LORD may be showing me a new area He’d like me. A time of discovery …

    sm. town, Saskatchewan

  44. 344
    Ginny says:

    (1) My inspiration for this Journey was me. I knew I needed it. There was someone I wanted to take along on this journey with me and that was my sister. She is 11 years my junior and her insecurities are far worse than mine. I didn’t live at home with my parents after age 15 but she did and I believe she got the worst of it. She lived a life with my mother that I don’t believe I could have tolerated. My stepfather was a physically ,verbally and emotionally abusive drunk and would wreck the house and then just up and leave. They always lived in fear of him. My mother would pack my sister and her up and go live at a friends house for a few days until she felt it was safe to home. Sometimes he would take off for months at a time my mother always took him back ,talk about insecurities. The women of my family are all overweight I can remember my mother saying terrible things to my sister about being fat and she was only a little girl. She suffers from all the insecurities I do and more. I love her so much. The one thing I love most about our relationship is that we communicate well with one another.She is not afraid to tell me anything and I trust her in that respect also. That’s how I know she is has more insecurities than I do. So, I am praying that I will be a catalyst of change for her. That I could help her see herself as she really is, a beautiful, loving,intelligent and gregarious woman. That she would realize her own value and dignity through Christ. That she would see the work the Lord has done in me. I can see it myself and if I can see it, I am hoping she will recognize the changes and have the same desire for herself. That she would be willing to let the Lord in to change and heal her areas of insecurities as he did for me.I can’t be her God but I can be her sister. I can offer her the practical advice I have learned from the book and be a support for her in her time of need. I know God is with her she is a believer. She has a successful career in the man world of selling tools. It must be a battle for her everyday but she gets right back out there. I admire and respect her tenacity. She is funny, creative and sensitive sometimes to a fault. “But thanks be to God He Gives us the victory through Jesus Christ” (1Cor 15:57)NIV

    (2)How can I start becoming part of the solution in my female relationships rather than default into part of the problem? Wow that is a tough question to answer. My first response would be to lead by example. I don’t size other women up. It’s not unlike me to tell a woman who has a beautiful smile that she has a beautiful smile. I am overweight and if I see another woman that has a smaller body then me I think one of two things: I wish I could lose weight and look that good or I’ll get negative and think I’ll never look like that again. My insecurities aren’t at all about appearance,although I do feel self conscience at times. I was in a store one day with a friend and I was at the register checking out and looking at the cover of a magazine that had a picture of an overweight woman that looked a little like me face wise and weight wise. A guy got in line behind me and it was obvious he had been drinking and the 3 quarts of beer in hand gave him a lot less credibility in my eyes. As I was looking at the magazine thinking about the woman on the cover looking like me I said to my friend “look at this picture”, he chimed in behind us with “you look like THAT” I knew what he meant but I wasn’t offended by him, my answer to him was “I was just thinking that”. My insecurities run more along the line of abandonment and rejection by people I know. If I do not know you or associate with you I don’t care what you think. That is where my sister and I differ.She cares about what everybody thinks. I can’t say I have a large sphere of influence There are the women I bowl with and the women of my extended family. I have noticed that I have gained, through my own experience and healing from Jesus, a little more insight and compassion for women and men in general. Thanks to your book Beth and Gods grace I am able to recognize certain behaviors as insecurity and I am less likely to be offended by someones behavior or by the foolish words that come out of their mouths. I can be more proactive by making other women aware that an offense they suffered because of something someone said stems from an insecurity in that other person, as a result of something that happened to them in their life at sometime. I just did that recently and it seemed to smooth out the ruffled feathers of the one offended. I can be more proactive with the women of my extended family cousins,nieces etc. It is because they are family I have the freedom to take a more direct approach with them because we share the love,respect and intimacy of a family. I won’t lie and say there are no women in my life that I can depersonalize because they have mistreated me there is one and I can absolutely relate to having a hard time praying for someone who is stabbing me in the back at the same time I am praying for them. I have 1 Peter 3:9 in my mind too it was one of my memory verses. However,it’s not the first verse that comes to mind. Romans 12:20 which,is Paul actually quoting Proverbs 25:21-22 “On the contrary:If your enemy is hungry,feed him;if he is thirsty, give him something to drink.In doing this, you will heap burning coals on his head.” At first I couldn’t do it because I was more into heapin the burnin coals thang rather than doing it with the right heart but once I humbled myself and went to God and asked him to help me get rid of those feelings of hurt and resentment and I threw them onto Him, He took it faithfully from me and I was able to sincerely ask for blessing to be heaped upon her. Even now as she takes jabs at me I ask the Lord to bless her. Reading the book I now realize where her poor behavior is coming from. Can I just tell ya I nearly cried about the goose too. I have a really soft heart for Gods little critters. I AM LOVELY I never thought to say that. Not to long ago during a fellowship meeting I looked around,I don’t know whatever possessed me to say this but all of a sudden I said “I am the follower that Jesus loves” The look on some of those beautiful faces were priceless. They just looked at me with mouths open it was actually funny when I thought about it afterward. Then one person actually said what I was waiting to hear. ” what about us” I told them I could not proclaim the Lords love of them for them they had to do that I could only proclaim it over myself. So, tomorrow I am going to look in the mirror and look right into my own eyes and tell myself I am lovely. I will do it everyday if I have to until I believe it or Jesus comes first. I started this journey expecting much and I am going to finish it that way. I have not been disappointed.

    (3)My Passion is to spread”The Good News”. God made salvation so profoundly simple that it confounds some of the smartest people I know. There are Christians out there that are not at peace or rest with the assurance of salvation. God did not make it hard. Man and his traditions like the pharisees in Jesus’s time have made it hard.
    John 3:16 says “For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life.” In Matthew 18 in the parable of the lost sheep when Jesus speaks about the one out of the hundred that wanders off …. And if he finds it, I tell you the truth, he is happier about that one sheep than about the ninety-nine that did not wander off. In the same way your Father in heaven is not willing that any of these little ones should be lost. The little one are us. There are so many assurances in Gods word this is the one that did it for me
    Ephesians 1:6-8 “to the praise of his glorious grace, which he has freely given us in the One he loves. In him we have redemption through his blood, the forgiveness of sins, in accordance with the riches of God’s grace that he lavished on us with All WISDOM and UNDERSTANDING. To read this from the Greek is beautiful but for space sake I’ll say what this verse says to me and this was a powerful yet simple concept. Because of the unmerited favor we receive through the Blood of Christ that is lavished upon us in abundance, that we are forgiven according to GODS KNOWLEDGE AND UNDERSTANDING OF OUR SINS NOT OUR OWN. Does that speak to anyone besides me. I can’t describe the feeling I had when that light bulb went on and the peace and restful assurance it gave me in my heart. And it was given FREELY all you have to do is accept the gift and say thank you. Believe in Him who he was and what he did on the cross and was resurrected gets you everlasting life. Your inheritance may not be as big as someone who gave up everything in this life or was more persistent in how intimate the relationship was. Gods promise is you shall not perish but have eternal life. This stirs such a passion in me if I wasn’t here alone right now I’d be preaching His Glory to anyone around me. There is a lot more theology here but for a non christian it’s simple enough to start them on their journey and let the Holy spirit do the rest and I have found for many Christians it turns on that proverbially light bulb. I guess in essence my passion is to be a sower.

    Schenectady NY
    Never Married

  45. 345
    Reflecting the Sparks says:

    Queen City, TX
    41 years old

    1) My biggest inspirations for the journey are my two incredible teenagers: a daughter and a son.

    My beautiful precious God given daughter, Mauri Grace, who is a senior in high school is my inspiration for me to live abundantly and effectively in Christ. Bless her heart, she inspires me with her walk in Christ. She is the neatest teenage girl I’ve ever laid eyes on or had the pleasure of knowing and she’s my baby girl. I praise God for her and the strength she possesses in Him. She is faithful to God and her church more than her parents. Her plans for college, LORD willing and God providing, is to attend Ouachita Baptist University in the fall. God has already blessed us with ½ of her private college costs paid for by OBU and we’re praying, trusting, and believing God for the other ½ in private scholarships. God has created just for my baby girl a new degree plan the university is offering beginning the fall of 2010. She is talented in writing, public speaking, photography, and journalism. She is gifted in leading young people to Christ and leads in worship through song. The new degree plan opened this fall for incoming freshman is called Christian Media/Communications. This is a double major in Christian studies and Mass Communications. I’ve always felt God leading her into some type of ministry but there isn’t that many opportunities for women in our denomination except through women’s and children’s ministry nowadays and that has come a long way. But, I didn’t know how or what God was going to have her do. Just a week ago while registering for early registration we found this new degree plan that seems to fit her perfectly. Thank you God for this opportunity for my baby girl and what a great time for me to become secure when she is leaving the nest.

    But even more than my daughter who is secure in her walk with Christ and everyday occurrences in her life is my son who has battled learning disabilities and depression his entire life. It almost seems he came out of the womb this way. He has a great life with friends and family who love and adore him but he just can’t see it. Praise the LORD nothing has happened to him or been done to him to make him this way which is such a miracle in and of itself. Even counselors have been in awe that he is this troubled yet no tragedy has caused this onset in his life. Caleb, bless his heart, is so much like in his momma in the insecurity department. I feel it could be Caleb was truly born in and of this depression, oppression, and despair from the way I’ve battled it all my life. God has done a tremendous work in his life but Caleb isn’t quite seeing it as clearly as I’d like but all in God’s time. I want to become secure so he can see and know personally that a depressed insecure person, his mom, of the worst sorts can come out healed in the name of Jesus and secure for the rest of her life. He knows I’ve had issues and he’s watched me go through the valley this past year more so than any other time of his life. He is seeing me fight this battle and now he needs to reap the benefit of me taking a stand, becoming secure, and showing him he can do it too.

    2) I believe I have started by taking this journey and becoming who God wants me to be: secure in Christ. I must become secure for myself before I can help others. I must stop beating myself up. When God teaches me I must do the very thing He says to do and not stop until He reveals to stop or add to it. I must lift others up in every day happenings as well as in prayer. I must stop judging, condemning, and criticizing others no matter what! I must share lessons learned in Christ with my gender via e-mail, blogging, a face-to-face encounter, or anyway God puts before me. I must share my testimony of what God has done and is currently doing in my life. I must open up more in small groups. I must share materials found with women. I feel God may be getting me in position to teach a small group or Sunday School ladies class again. I must work with the younger generation teaching them what God has done for me and what He can and will do for them. I’ve had a small sphere of influence of teenage girls through my daughter’s friends. I feel God may be preparing me to encourage college age girls as my daughter prepares for OBU this fall.

    3a. At one point in my life I felt called into women’s ministry but felt I hadn’t been hurt where others had so I couldn’t relate or be of help. BUT now through some of my husband’s choices I can relate in a way I never thought I would. I never expected to be a part of what I am now but God is in control and He knows what He has in store for me, so I may be closer to women’s ministry than ever before. It could be right around the corner.

    3b. Sometimes I feel God nudging me to help parents fight for the kids in a school setting when their child isn’t receiving the proper accommodations due to the child’s learning disability especially dyslexia. This is a very hairy one for me and due to my husband and I being teachers at this time it may not happen now but later on down the line after our son graduates from high school. I have no idea of how or what God would want in this area so it would definitely have to be lead by the Holy Spirit because in 10 years with our son in school I haven’t figured it out or the backbone to make it happen for some reason.

    3c. God has tendered my heart in the area of marriage. I feel we must fight for marriage. Nowadays, couples after betrayal are known to divorce but God’s Word tells us He hates divorce. Couples who make it through don’t tell about their journey and what it took to survive and hopefully thrive in their marriage. People just don’t share their “dirty laundry” unless it is to tell on the spouse who did the wrong. Divorce is the accepted way and the expected way when things go wrong in marriage, but God prefers we work through it and allow Him to heals our wounds than throwing it away for a better or newer model.

  46. 346
    Rosie says:

    ch. 14) I would say that I have to live abundantly and effectively in Christ for my daughter. She has recently moved out and got married. They love the Lord and do put Him first in all they do. I don’t want her to be ashamed of me. I don’t want her to make the mistakes I have made, I really don’t think she would. I can’t change the past but I can show her the present. I need to to be an example for her and any future grandchildren I may have.

    ch.15) One way I can become a solution is to STOP gossip in its track. Don’t be one that just leaves the room when it starts. Be the one who stops it. What is being said can be changed by you. Say something positve about the person who is at the center of the gossip. You can ask the person who is talking about it, if she has said this face to face to the one being talk about. If not, you might suggest she go to that person and say what is on her mind first rather then talking behind her back. Or just pause ask God to help you to say the right thing. He will.

    Another way to be part of a solution is to stop complementing on what a person looks like on the outside. On what type of shoes they are wearing, what bag they carry. Start complementing them for the way they interact with others, for the gifts and talents God has given them. I think if we take our focus from the outside appearence and focus on who a person truely is, maybe we will see ourselves differently. We won’t be so insecure about our appearence and maybe we will even like ourselves a little more. We might take pride in..wait we might give God the glory on how we look. Next time you go shopping look around at all the women. How many do you think, are worried about what they will be wearing when they come face to face with Christ. I hope what I am wearing will be what He intended me to wear.

    ch.16) My passion is to love every child I see. I have worked with kids from 5 years to
    21 years old and they all need love. They may only need you to care enough to know their name. There are others who may need to know you are a safe person that they can trust. That they can call you day or night and you will listen to them. They all need us. Even the bully needs you to step in and show him to act differently. My heart goes out to the kids who go home to empty houses everyday for whatever reason. The ones who have to be a parent at 8 years old. I could go on and on but you get it. The next time you see a kid give them a smile, make them laugh, listen to every word they say. Love them.

  47. 347
    Razmataz says:

    The Lord has given me a deep passion for women. I love spending time with them, loving on them, hearing their individually unique stories, and encouraging them. This study has help to reinforce my passion to minister to our broken, female gender. We need to realize how close we are to God’s heart. I also have a love and a knack for event planning. My dream is for the Lord to somehow combine my passion for serving women and my love for event planning. I have no idea what that will look like but I am stoked to let the Lord lead and watch what He will do. That is one reason why I am so impressed with Living Proof Ministries and the dynamic impact they are having on the lives of women.

    23, Single

  48. 348
    JHastings says:

    1) My little grand niece is an inspiration. However, I feel that her mother is a confident and secured woman so she will get that from her primarily. This chapter reminds me that although my little grand niece may have a fabulous role model in her mother, I am also part of the sphere of influence as a family member. So it is important for me to become a secure woman since I am part of the village that raises her and other children. It is important to little boys too that they are raised around secure women so that they will form healthy relationships with healthy women as they grow and become healthy men.

    2)The first thing that I can do to stop this crazy cycle is to be secure in myself so that I am sensitive to and to stop tearing down other women whom threaten me. It’s hypocritical for us to say that we are for women and support women’s causes yet we practice otherwise. We need to see the value of every woman and to recognize that we all need some support regardless of how tough and how invulnerable we may appear. Beth, your book is excellent in pointing out the subtle ways that we sometimes do this and how we can stop.

  49. 349
    JHastings says:

    3) I used to have passion but somewhere I lost it. I am in the process of rediscovering what that is.

  50. 350
    tsmith says:

    Clarksville, TN

    1. and 3. I am a school counselor in a middle school. Needless to say, I see insecurity among girls every day. It comes out in various forms, but it is there, whether they recognize it or not (which they mostly do not). These girls are worth doing what I need to do in order to become more secure. My passion is helping others, whether in need, or just to feel good about themselves. Mostly, though, although they are not girls, my passion is my two little boys and my wonderful husband. They are who I want to do this for more than anything – I want my husband to be married to a woman who is secure in who God made her to be and I want my boys to grow up seeing a godly example of a woman who is secure so that they will be able to spot someone like that in their future spouse. I guess, ultimately then, I am willing to do whatever it takes for not only my boys, but for my future daughters-in-law as well.

    2. As for this question, I need to be deliberate in how much I talk when I am insecure as well as comparing myself to other women. Such hard things to unlearn, but God is showing me how day by day.

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