Hey, Sweet Things! I’m so happy to meet you over here on our new site! We really feel like we’ll be able to serve you more efficiently here on WordPress and appreciate you going to the extra trouble the transition takes. In no time at all, this will feel like home again to the community we call Siestaville: a spicy little respite in a chaotic world. We’ll have the benefit of more technical support and far fewer quirks (besides the 1300+ X 10 on last week’s post. A keeper forever. And don’t think I won’t tell on you. Speaking material for years to come).
I am writing your Thursday post from my back porch on this gorgeous Wednesday late afternoon. Houston has a reputation for a lot of things (good and bad) but few people accuse her of beauty. She gives it her best shot in the Spring, however. The azaleas are in full bloom and so are all my early roses. The lawn has turned green. The trees are budding. Staring across my small back yard I can count at least fourteen distinctive living colors. The temperature is perfect. The wind is blowing. I hear at least four different kinds of birds singing. Some of them are fussing because I’m out here and the feeders haven’t been filled since yesterday. They think this is IHOP.
Keith’s out and about. Star is dropping a yellow tennis ball at my feet and wearing a plaid bandana the color of Easter eggs. Curtis, Amanda, and the kids are on their way to Wednesday evening church where they’ll eat supper with friends there in our Fellowship Hall (do all churches have those?), then CJ will teach his class. Amanda will be his best student and biggest fan and Jackson and AB will go to their classes. Melissa is in Atlanta fighting with the clock on the countdown till the final form of her Thesis is due. By the time you’re reading this, it will be turned in. She will be exhausted but relieved. Colin will no doubt be ecstatic. God knew exactly what kind of man that young woman was going to need.
I have had my first real day off in several weeks. Hmmmmm. Maybe even three or more. That’s not the way we like to do it around here but it was largely unavoidable. The book tour (first time I’ve ever done one) pitched into the middle of the regular speaking/teaching calendar threw my schedule over the edge. I have said to the Lord several times, “If You’ll just get me till next Wednesday…” And He did. The tour is complete and I am getting to take a glorious deep breath. I did meet my LPM staff at Sweet Tomatoes on this day off, however, because, after all, they’re my best buddies. I’m so blessed to also like so many of the people I love. We’re all in town this weekend, of course, for Easter. I wouldn’t be away for anything. It would never be the same away from my home church of 25 years where I will worship with people precious to me, both family and friends, both young and not so young. Then my extended family will meet up at our house for a big roast, mashed potatoes, green bean casserole and an as-of-yet undetermined dessert. About the time we’re too full to bend over, we’ll bend over anyway and hide Easter eggs.
I dearly love this time of year.
OK, young ladies, we have a book to bring to finish so I better stop musing over Spring and start thinking So Long Insecurity. We’ve got only two more weeks to go in our discussions and five chapters left to read. That means we’re going to need to take three chapters this week so we can close up next week with only two. That works, though. It’s not hard reading and many of you have already finished the book anyway and are reviewing it for the sake of discussion. However it works for you is great with me! Your homework this week will include Chapters 14, 15, and 16 and the following three questions – one per chapter. Try to be as succinct as possible in each answer so we can read through many of the comments.
1) As you surely noticed, Chapter 14 is more of a testimony than a teaching but it concludes with a charge to deal with our female insecurities for the sake of young girls coming up behind us. Annabeth was my big inspiration for the journey. Briefly describe someone who is worth doing what it takes to you to live abundantly and effectively in Christ. Help us picture her so that she inspires us, too. Needless to say, don’t share more than she’d want you to.
2) I wish we could discuss all of Chapter 15 in person but this is the next best thing. Name a couple of ways pertinent to your sphere of life and influence that you could look out for your own gender in our battle with insecurities. In other words, how can you (not others but you in particular) start becoming part of the solution in your female relationships rather than default into part of the problem. No condemnation here. Goodness knows, we’ve all been both. Our challenge is to learn to be deliberate. How are you prepared to do that?
3) I can’t wait to see your answers to this one. Based on Chapter 16 and the challenge to look past ourselves, what is your passion? If you don’t have one presently, don’t feel pressured or unnerved. You might be too deep in toddlers or school work to think past the urgent. Those things are priority and need to be your passion right now. If, however, you long for something that makes you feel fully alive and part of something specific God is doing for the greater good, ask Him to nurture that vision in you. It will be ultimately be the key to life on the outskirts of self-absorption. Keep in mind, your passion may not be anything you’re currently engaged in. Maybe you don’t have the opportunity to participate right now. Maybe it’s just in dream-form. Or maybe it’s just a place God has tendered your heart. Try to give it a name. What is something outside of yourself that you feel passionate about?
I will look so forward to your answers, Sisters! I’m so honored to have you along on this journey. Try to enjoy it while you’re at it. Believe it or not, as much as it’s pried into our business, we might just miss it when it’s over.
May the Lord answer you when you are in trouble. May the God of Jacob make you secure! (Ps. 20:1 NET)
With much affection,
Beth
Tags: So Long Insecurity
1. I have two wonderful daughters who are worth what it takes. My oldest (10) has a quiet confidence, uncanny ability to deal wisely with friends in conflicting situations and loves to find humour in situations. She loves people. My other daughter has a smile that would light up a room and a laugh that causes others to join in. She desires to teach others and already at 9 looks for ways to help others. I so desperately want their security and strength to come from God.
2. A couple of ways to be part of the solution…Stop making comparisons. STOP! I have been catching myself in the act. I recite Gal 5:21 almost constantly! Start personalizing other women. I have been praying for God’s love to fill me for them.
3. I am feeling passionate about walking alongside women; about being in a “fruit-bearing” relationship with God through Bible study and through acts of community.
Regina
30s
married
Moberly, MO
1. The young girls in my church, since right now I have no children of my own. Girls like Alison (who felt the Holy Spirit move in her life at Dare 2 Share a week ago), like Ryann, Millie, Jorgy, and Sinclair. Their moms and stepmoms are my friends, and together, we’re determined to build them into mighty women of God.
2. a) At work, I will refuse to take part in the backbiting, and I will not participate, even by listening to it, because I know it rattles me. My iPod is my friend, especially when I’ve got folks like TobyMac, Matt Maher, Steven Curtis Chapman, Third Day, Casting Crowns and Philips Craig & Dean to listen to.
b) I am choosing to encourage women. To build them up. Whoever, whenever. I was thinking about this just this morning. This evening, I made my weekend run to Walmart (later than my usual 2 or 3 pm, I went around 7). When I finally got to the front of the checkout line, I heard the storm that had been steadily moving in start. And then the sirens sounded. Tornado warning. We were all herded to the middle of the store. I’ve always been afraid of tornados, they send me into the shivers. But you know what? I AM CLOTHED WITH STRENGTH AND DIGNITY. I AM A MIGHTY, VALOROUS WOMAN OF GOD. So, I called my husband to let him know where I was. Then I looked around to see if anyone else nearby needed to use my phone. They were all covered, one way or another. So I started talking to folks. I encouraged a couple of cashiers who seemed somewhat rattled that they really were doing the right thing. My feet got tired, so I sat on the floor, right next to a rack of t-shirts, and started talking to a 4 year old whose mom was DEFINITELY shaken. Mia was picking up on her mom’s nervousness, but we settled down and played on our iPods together. (I had Uno, she typed on mom’s keyboard.) As I finally checked out and left, I prayed to God — thank YOU for calming the storm in me so I could help calm someone else.
(BTW, I have not heard anything worse than treelimbs down so far here in town — if I hear of anything worse tomorrow that needs some Siesta prayer, I’ll let you all know.)
3) My passions are studying/teaching God’s word and music. As to which is primary, you could get a different answer from day to day, but it’s going to be between those two.
1) My 2 sweet daughters are my inspiration to rise about this insecurity. They are 8 and 10 years old and love everything girly and pink. They already spend too much time watching shows that are popular in Disney channel or dressing up characters on Barbie.com. I limit their time on tv and computer, but I do worry about the things that influence them. I don’t want them to think life is all about “getting the guy” or being popular in school. And that’s what alot of these shows are about on tv. They are so precious and have Jesus in their heart. And I want Him to be their focus.
2) I’m prepared to be a part of the solution first with my own girls by being a secure woman in their eyes. I don’t want them to hear me complain about losing weight or compare myself to other women they know. I also am a teacher in the 5th/6th grade class at church and want to help those girls with their security too. They are right on the edge of some of their most awkward years and I’d love to be a safe person for them to talk to.
3) I am passionate about singing, dancing, worshiping God, the Right to Life movement, Abstinence teaching for youth, I love teenager girls. I sometimes get squirming thinking I’ll die before I ever get to live out some of my passions.
Beth, I loved the part of these chapters about the underwear store and the issues you have with it. I giggled so much reading that. And it’s so true! Sometimes me and the kids will be walking toward that store in the mall and will want to cover their eyes. Especially for my 12 year old boy. I usually end up saying something like “I wish people would put their clothes on. Do you guys think it’s cool to show your underwear to everyone at the mall?” Abercrombie and Fitch is another store that bad about showing some skin too. Love ya so much!
1)Both of my children, but especially my daughter who’s finishing up her 7th grade year. She’s a young woman and is admittedly, candidly, honest about how she sees/thinks about herself and her life. I don’t want anything happening in, to, or around her life or our family life to put her curent confidence & comfort levels in jeopardy–inspite of my ex and his recent decisions. My fervent hopes and prayers are that my daughter will continue to feel ok with and grow in her current confidence and comfort levels, to stand strong with God’s grace and protection against any kind of peer pressure so she will not second-guess her decisions and make mistakes that could cause her any heartbreak.
2)Continue to seek and promote women having a deeper, ever stronger relationship with God. Also, when a woman or young lady talks down about herself to encourage her by reminding her using God’s word to remind her just how much God loves her personally!!
3) I’d like to see more of, and, even help promote/plan/facilitate a more actively working, growing, and thriving women’s ministry/young women’s ministry at our church.
Diane
40
Ogden, Ut
divorced
Well, we all have our books now and I have been copying your questions to use in our study. The women seem excited to begin. Thanks so much for posting here. 🙂
1. I WOULD SO DEARLY LOVE MY 5 GRANDDAUGHTERS TO BE ABLE TO LIVE SO SECURELY IN THEIR LIVES BECAUSE OF THEIR RELATIONSHIP WITH JESUS THAT THEY WOULD NEVER BE ABLE TO RELATE TO ALL THESE CRAZY, PAINFUL STORIES. ASHLIE, CAMERON, CHLOE, SYDNEY, AND GRACE ARE MY 5 BEAUTIFUL GRANDDAUGHTERS (NO PREJUDICE HERE, THEY ARE BEAUTIFUL). MY PRAYER IS THAT THEIR PARENTS AND GRANDPARENTS DO NOTHING TO SET THEM UP FOR ACCEPTING ANYTHING LESS IN THIS LIFE THAN IS THEIR GOD GIVEN RIGHT. MY PRAYER IS THAT WE WILL DO EVERYTHING TO MAKE THEM KNOW HOW SPECIAL THEY ARE SO THAT ANYONE IN THER LIVES THAT APPEARS NOT TO UNDERSTAND THAT WILL BE AVOIDED AND SHUNNED, MALE OR FEMALE.
2. I WILL BE PART OF THE SOLUTION BY BEING A ‘BALCONY PERSON’, CHEERING BROTHERS AND SISTERS ON AS THEY RUN THE RACE THAT IS THIS LIFE. I NEED TO BE LESS ABSORBED WITH WHATEVER IS GOING ON WITH ME AND MORE ATTENTIVE TO THOSE RUNNING ALONG BESIDE ME. SO OFTEN I THINK NICE THINGS BUT DON’T TAKE THE TIME TO VERBALIZE THEM. WE ALL BLOOM WITH AFFIRMATION. SO, WHEN I THINK SOMETHING POSITIVE AND AFFIRMING ABOUT SOMEONE, I TRY TO PUT IT INTO WORDS AND TELL THEM. I RESOLVE TO DO THIS MORE AND MORE, CONSISTENTLY.
3. I AM NOT PASSIONATE ENOUGH ABOUT THE THINGS I SHOULD BE PASSIONATE ABOUT. YOU’RE RIGHT BETH, IF I DON’T PURPOSELY POUR MYSELF INTO THOSE THINGS I’M PASSIONATE ABOUT, I’M LEFT MULLING OVER THE WORLD (AND MY LIFE) SITUATION, WHICH IS NEVER VERY PRETTY. THERE’S NOTHING I CAN DO ABOUT THE WORLD ( OR MY LIFE) SITUATION, BUT I CAN ADD TIME, MONEY, AND PRAYER TO THOSE THINGS I HOLD DEAR MORE PURPOSEFULLY AND CONSISTENTLY . TOO OFTEN, I’M JUST MOPING ALONG WATING FOR THE RAPTURE INSTEAD OF WORKING WHILE THERE IS YET TIME. THANKS FOR THE INSPIRATION.
1) My grade school age daughters inspire me to find security. If for no other reason than to keep up with my oldest. She is at a prime stage of finding every possible insecurity. Yet she is the most secure person I know. My youngest is still at an age where its hard to tell how secure she is. I need to keep up with one and prepare the way for the other.
2) STOP THE COMPARISONS!! Be me cause that is how God made me.
3) This is the real reason I am replying here for the first time. I am new to the blog and finished the book about 10 days ago. The fact that I do not have a passion at this stage of my life has been driving me batty ever since. See, I have really been sad about it. My church has new leadership that has changed the culture of my beloved church family. I have recently taken two ideas of ministry to the pastor and been told no both times. I felt so strongly about these ideas that it is hard for me to discern which one of us is missing God’s point. My husband and I considered leaving to find a church that better fit us. We know God is telling us that we are to stay, press on, be voices of peace, and help where we can. We feel if our church family does not stick together it may be headed for a split. It’s a complicated issue now and it leaves me feeling passionless!! Last night I realized I was confusing my church service with my passion. I have been truly afraid to pour all my passion into my daughters. My fear has been that if I do, I will be left with nothing when they move from the nest. I am going to put that fear in God’s hands. I am going to be passionate about my Lord and the family He has given me. I am going to trust that he will protect my future from loneliness and give me a focus and a name to my passion!
1.I want to be secure for my 11 month old grandaughter. Her mom (my daughter) seems very secure in many more ways than I was, but I still need to be that good example.
2. I am a middle school nurse who sees many stomach aches that were caused by insecurity (also see this among the boys)and want to be able to help these kids develop ways to deal with the pressures and teasing. So often it has a lot more to do with the bully being insecure and needing to make someone else feel small in order to feel better about themselves, but the suffering child has never even considered that this could be the cause, and that there is really no truth to the things the bully is saying.
3. Wow. Trying to make me stop and really think on this one, aren’t you. And I don’t want to face the fact that I have no big, important purpose that is driving me, but I don’t. I just want to live my quiet little life, trying to always be a good example to those around me, not compromising my values or being a hypocrite. Taking part in mission projects, Vacation Bible School, handbells, etc. that come up at church. Not a very grand scheme, but all I have to offer for this question.
married
50’s
Texas
It’s a very grand scheme and the faithfulness of women like you are what allows the next generation to enter an established, dependable church!
In early 1980 a good friend had received some “interesting” literature from her “fanatic” sister. She and I looked over the booklets and began pondering some of the questions raised while we were on our evening walks. Several circumstances in each of our lives had led us to question whether we were really Christians in spite of the fact that both of us had attended churches all of our lives. The deeper we sought The Answer, the closer we came to The Truth of Jesus Christ. In a very dramatic way, God answered me one evening in April when I was all alone reading “Nine O’Clock In the Morning” by Dennis Bennet. I prayed the simple prayer given and asked Jesus into my heart. From that time forward I am a changed person all by the grace extended to me. That Easter became so new and meaningful for me. For the first time, I understood what was Good about Jesus’ death on the cross.
1- My best friend’s daughter, Mary Claire, is worth it. She is four years old and thinks I’m just the best thing ever. I want nothing more than for her to grow up to know just how much God loves her. I want her to understand that she is truly a princess of an awesome God.
2- I must embrace the concept of healthy talking & teach others women in my sphere to do the same. I consider myself a super-sensitive person & often get my feelings hurt when others don’t respond to my kind acts with kindness. I instantly want to go hide inside my turtle shell because I feel foolish.
3- I feel passionate about missionary work in underprivileged parts of the world. I’ve gone on mission a handful of times & each time upon my return I feel more complete & so grateful. My finances & my schedule have prevented me from going on mission in the last few years, but my heart yearns to go again & be filled up.
Tula
Houston, TX
30
Single
25
Maryland
1. My main purpose for being a secure woman of God is my daughter. She is 6 and has already shown insecurities (from what she hears from other family women) and I do not want to influence that anymore. I debated getting breast implants just to “look better and have better self-esteem”. I knew that it wasn’t the right thing to do. I knew if I got them that I was telling my daughter I did not feel secure enough about myself, my looks, my marriage or my choice to have children! My breasts are what fed my 2 kids for almost a year! The toll it took is always not so pretty, but the stretch marks constantly remind me that I am God’s beautiful creation and they were meant for feeding and not for others to gawk at. I am secure as a woman with my looks; no piece of plastic will make me feel better!
2. I am usually very negative on other females. We give ourselves a bad rep with the way we talk, walk, dress, hold ourselves to low (worldly) standards and how we treat others! I can start by not letting anything negative spew from my mouth! I need to be building others up in Christ and by being positive and encouraging!
3. My passion has always been in a leadership position. I just recently took leadership at my church’s women’s bible study ministry, called GAB (Gals and Bibles). My passion is to help other women, to sustain Godly relationships and be accountable to those women. I am also passionately involved with Hospice. I help volunteer when time allows. The area I am most passionate about is helping teens and teenage pregnancies. I have not gotten involved yet, but having been a teen pregnancy I know how much those girls need support.
1. Heidi Elizabeth… she began as a suprise and a gift that saved a marriage. She represented life and hope after a loss that changed both her mother and father’s world for ever. Today, Heidi is 4 years old. She has the sweetest heart of any human I have known. She loves people. She loves God and Jesus and constantly asks questions that theologians are still searching for answers to. She is bouncy and smiley. Heidi has her moments of shyness. I have already watched this young child try to sift through things she doesn’t understand in our culture: “Why are they kissing if they’re not married?” “Is that shirt nice to wear?” “Will people say I look pretty in this dress?”
Her heart is tender and very aware of people around her. I pray that she learns now to be who God made her to be… not, like anyone else. Yesterday she prayed, “God do something cool with me today.” That’s my prayer for her whole life!
2. Learning and embracing how crazy God is about me, how He loves me, and is passionate for me to be free, has been the best motivator for me to love other women. I realize that He feels the same about them. God used the story of Rahab, a prosititute turned into the bloodline of Jesus, to rock my world. I am learning to look at all women as dearly loved. We’re in this thing together!
3. With a four year old and being on my 12th week of bedrest, it has been difficult to keep passion alive! I am passionate about falling more in love with my Savior and becoming free from some major hang-ups. I am passionate about raising a generation of kids who really know God and experience Him in their lives. Since a young age, I have been passionate about helping people experience the reality of God. There is nothing that brings me more joy or purpose than to watch someone “get it.” I’m not sure how God will manifest this passion in the years to come. I do know He’s up to something big!
Heather
Ironton, MO
20s
married
1. My nieces, who are 11 and 13, are my biggest inspiration. I’ve prayed for them since they were born to know Jesus and to avoid some of the sinful choices I made in my past. Now that they are entering the teen years, it seems as if the battle is only intensifying. I so desire to be a good example to them.
2. Stop the comparison game! I didn’t even realize how automatically my thoughts go there.
3. My passion. . . this is a an ongoing struggle for me. I thought I had found my purpose and passion in college, but then the Lord seemed to close all the doors on that job. Since then I’ve been kind of in a waiting mode, and it isn’t clear to me if this past decade has been part of God’s plan or me being too fearful of change. I hope that some day I’ll be able to look back on this time of my life and see what He was preparing me for. In the meantime, my passion for this year is being a host church co-coordinator for Beth’s simulcast event in September. This is a big step of faith but the Lord has already opened so many doors that we KNOW He is in this!
1-my boys! I want the women them marry someday to be fully committed to Christ and secure in who God has called them to be!
2-Be an encourager, pray seek out those that may feel less than, stop tripping up others!
3-God’s Word!
Kori
Married
Trevor WI
39
Jennifer
Married
30’s
Mpls
1) the one person who comes to mind for me is my niece. She is just at that age where everything makes her feel insecure and awkward. She is really beautiful and bright and loving. But has enter those the teen aged years and no matter what you say or do just brings out her feelings of insecurity.
2) I am going to try not to feel competitive with other women i know or may meet and try to remember that we all have issues. I am going to try to personalize the women around me so that it makes it harder for me to be competitive. All while bring a sense that God made me and has given me strength and dignity as well as the other women too.
3) I have always have had a passion for intersessionary prayer, I really love to pray for others needs.
What a lovely Easter weekend this was! It allowed me time to catch up on my reading in a nice sunny spot in my favorite chair :O)
Well today is my 30th BIRTHDAY and I am so thankful for God bringing me down this path and this wonderful little book. It all linked up to what was activly going on in my life dealing with my exhusband who left me over two years ago. Growing older and being content with the place I am in my life as a single mommy, follower of Christ, and now thirty year old woman. I’m happy!! Gos is soooo faithful! What a great day!
And now for my homework:
1) Having my daughter made me deal with having a stronger voice. I was married and had been for 3 1/2 when I became pregnant. I however was so much more of a door mat in my marriage afraid to tell my husband that the life he was leading was destroying our marraige and well his entire life (alcohol, drugs, women party scene etc.) When I found out I was going to have a little girl I hit my knees hard and started praying. I became more vocal about my feelings surrounding the lifestyle we were leading. My once love was a great “talker” but when it came to walk he didn’t want to do it. I told him we needed help and counseling and that we would get through this but that he could not keep going out five nights a week with his friends to the bars. Well when he started walking his walk he walked right out of my daughter and mines life.
It was heart breaking and hard. BUT God brought me home to my parents house and to a place of healing. I always said what does a christian woman do when she is the one left standing and the husband DOES NOT WANT to fix the marriage because he isn’t willing to let go of the destructive behaviors. I didn’t know what to do except to keep living and to walk in the precepts of the Lord. I want to set an example for my sweet baby girl. I want her to see that just because your life takes a strange turn or because you are cast aside because of you love for Jesus Christ doesn’t mean you are left out or that you need to act in desperation. That being faithful in your walk to God is so important! Just her very life holds me to a higher level of accountablility!
2) How can I help break the pattern of insecurity in other women? I can start encouraging other women in their own lives. Meaning instead of giving them a score card as a Christian and saying you have to do this and that and thus and so, I can just encourage them in where they are at in their lives and lot God take care of the rest.
3) My passion…Encouraging Christian women!! encouraging them to be who God made them to be, to enjoy being a mommy, wife, daughter, sister and friend, to encourage women to enjoying being women in Christ. And to do it while enjoying beauty, make-up, clothing, decorating, reading watching some tv and movies, listening to fab music and all the time totting a tot on the hip!
Happy 30th birthday to you!
Happy Birthday! I applaud you for being the example your daughter needs to see of security in the face of pain. I loved the idea of avoiding the Christianity “Scorecard.”
I really resonated with your thought that her very life “Holds me to a highter level of accountability.” So true.
My faith, also, drives a wedge between my husband and myself. It is confusing and painful and I appreciate your candidness.
Thank you!
Lisa 40’s married Edinburg, TX
1. My first thought about who I would be living for is my future granddaughters (I hope) since I have 3 sons. I pray for a great relationship with my future daughter in-laws too!
2. When meeting with women I want to be the encourager of positive speech about ourselves, not letting us put ourselves down by comparing with what the world says about us.
3. God has given me a passion for working with women in ministry, and especially for the last several years high school girls. I have held small groups of girls in my home to give them a place to be safe to talk and share and grow in the their relationships with Christ and each other. I get so much from meeting with them, and my willingness to open up with them and be real has made them feel welcome to share. Sometimes teenage girls will open up with another Mom more than with their own. Since I don’t have a daughter I am uniquely able to be available without getting as emotional as a mother of one of their peers. This may just be for the season of my life while I have teenage sons, but I have loved every minute of it! I have been truly blessed to be available for these wonderful young women, and as they go off to college and life it’s so awesome to see where God takes them.
Questions from Chapters 14, 15 and 16:
1. I have several someones who are worth me working at living abundantly and effectively in Christ: my two daughters and my three granddaughters (as well as the men in my life). Especially tho’ my heart goes out to the ‘girls’ – especially my granddaughters (who are 6, 3 and 18 months) as they grow up in this media-drenched world that showers them daily with false images of what they need to be in order to be “good enough.”
2. How am I prepared to look out for other women in our common battle for security? By working hard with the Spirit’s help and guidance to fully realize/incorporate that we are all flawed and STILL loved abundantly by Him. And by extending a nonjudgmental (definitely something the Spirit and I are working on together) hand of friendship to other women, by personalizing the “other” , by encouraging the women around me and praying for the women I encounter in my daily life – especially for those I am ‘hurt’ by.
3. Based on Chapter 16 and the challenge to look beyond myself ~ what is my passion?
In a nutshell ~ my family, especially those little girls mentioned above. Their mothers are more secure than I and I so want that legacy to grow through the generations. I want them to grow up slowly, to have a childhood in which they have time to develop their imaginations and to play ~ to that end we are building them a playhouse in our acreage by the river for them to play in their summertime visits. My hope is that they can build many memories “camping” out in the playhouse, feasting on fruit picked from the vines and trees nearby while they laze away summer days in “lets pretend.” Also I envision them hanging out with Grandpa learning how to fix things, how things are put together, so they feel competent. I want them to thoroughly understand that contrary to what they are barraged with on a daily basis, their ‘value’ is not how they look but what’s inside them ~ to really ‘get’ the fact that they are as individual as each snowflake and infinitely more precious in His sight.
I can already tell that I’m going to miss this blog when we’re done ~ this has been such an emotional trip and one so worthwhile – thank you again Beth ~for the book and for pouring yourself into this ministry!
Lynne, 61, married in Oregon
Ali
Dublin, Ohio
30
Married
1) This one’s easy. My daughter, Harper Lynn. She is 7 months old and full of happiness. Utter and complete happiness. Of course she pouts when she can’t figure out how to crawl her oh-so-adorably chubby body across the living room to reach her older brother. But aside from that, I have never met a happier baby.
If I could just be assured that she would be this innocent and bubbly and happy forever. Her double-toothed grin with the giant dimple on her right cheek. That is why I devote myself to being the best that I can be in Christ. My precious baby girl deserves a confident mommy.
2) I absolutely love the metaphor of the one-legged goose. I hope to think of that goose the next time that I am tempted to “peck.”
And by golly, thinking of that adorable baby girl in the answer above – I better start role-modeling security. That is the least I can do for her and the many other women with whom I interacted daily.
3) My passion. Definitely working with children. Specifically urban youth. I simply have a heart for those young people who go without so many of the resources and circumstances that I was surrounded by – a two-parent home, a fantastic education, a thriving and safe community – just to name a few.
1) I have a beautiful soon to be 15 year old step-daughter, who recently moved with her mom and brother to be closer to her dad. She has so many gifts and talents that God has given her, but for the first time since her parents’ divorce, she’s dealing with the “stuff” of it. Needless to say she’s struggling with some insecurities. I want to be able to “live” being secure in Christ, so she knows there’s hope, when she’s finds her way through all the gunk. I have my other daughter who’s 3, who has all of the qualities of a strong woman coming out in spades! I want to be able to show her a mom who is confident and secure in the Lord, not in her clothes, or her physical beauty, or her talents, or her good works.
2) God made me to be an encourager, and I had a great example of an encourager in my mom, so that’s what I want to do to help other women through their insecurities. A friend suggested today that her desire was to encourage women who were strugggling through God’s word, and I have decided that’s what I’m going to work on too. Another siesta mentioned rather than complimenting someone on their physical beauty, to encourage others on their spiritual beauty… Can’t imagine a better way than to reaffirm using God’s own words!
3) This one’s a little hard for me… I’m currently suffering from the “jack of all trades, master of none” syndrome. I have lots of things I enjoy, but don’t have really a clear picture of what I’m passionate about. I used to be passionate about teaching, coaching and young people, but now that I live 40 miles in the country with two small chldren, I’m struggling to find my God-given direction beyond that. I will continue to pray that God will point me in the right direction!
1. My best friend – who is my age and a Christian, but is not experiencing day-to-day living in Christ is who I want to model security for. She is going through a lot – and we’ve gone through a lot together. I want my life to reflect Jesus changing me and how I deal with life’s stuff. (and, of course, I have already given her a copy of this book and she is reading it!)
2. I really to work on fixing my “bad math”. And God has been working on me in seeing the individuality and uniqueness of myself as well as those I come in contact with – leading me to personalize those strangers that I compare myself with and dismiss.
3. God has really been touching my heart with people, especially families with chilren, who are homeless and jobless.
Devanee
Married
Late 30’s
Ulysses
1. I have 5 nieces that really look up to me. I love spending time with them and always want to do whatever I am doing. The other day I was with them and one of them wanted to get her hair cut like mine. I would love for all of them to see me living abundantly and effectively in Christ!
2. Yesterday at church a friend of mine, which I hadn’t seen in 3 years, came to church searching for a church home. I could tell she was anxious and vulnerable. I tried my best to make her feel secure and at home. She sat by me and I showed her around. (This book has made insecurity forefront in my mind, so I am always looking for ways to uplift others to a secure place. I do not want that to ever go away!)
3. I am homeschooling my boys right now so they are my focus right now. I have a passion to raise my boys up to be men of God. I have felt God leading me in studying His views on women and their roles to fulfill His plan, and prayer. Just lately I feel He has added the study of the promises of God.
A heart for Jesus!
Love you!
1. My precious almost 12 year old daughter. She enters jr. high next year and I know I need to get this security thing under control so I can help her in the cruel world of jr. high.
2. I will not compare myself to others and I will stop depersonalizing others. Lord give me empathy!!
3. Women ministry – I have a passion that other women will know God intimately and know what only He can do for our messed up lives! And, this is really a God thing beings on my own I am so insecure around women!! Just imagine what I will accomplish through God once He & I overcome this insecurity!
Kari
30’s
SD
1.) My inspiration for the journey has been my sweet niece Maddy. She’s 14 bubbly & full of life, & of course all the emotions that come with 14. I see her where I was @ that age & still am @ times now @ 40. I also think of all the sweet junior high girls @ my church who are worth doing what it takes to live abundantly & effectively for Christ.
2.)I can look out for my own gender & start being a part of the solution instead of the problem by being deliberate in my decision not to gossip or let anyone pull me into gossiping about another sister. Also to stop making comparisons & like the psalmist catch myself in the act of destructive thoughts & choosing to pour my heart out to God instead. LOVE what you said about Gal 5:26 to start catching ourselves in the act of comparison. I can also look out for my own genter by Choosing to pray & bless those who hurt me, cause I’m the one being blessed when I do.(1Peter 3:9)
And finally I MUST BE AN EXAMPLE OF A SECURE WOMAN. Mainly by loving Jesus more than any soul on the planet. I also loved the story of Stacy & emphasis on the 5 precious words..BUT…I…have…this…TREASURE!Oh, & Jennifer Rothschild(Love, Love, Love her. She is sooo precious)But I love what she said based on Psalm 84:1 & How lovely is HIS dwelling place.
3.) My passion???That’s a tough question & one I’m praying desperately for. I just know I love studying God’s word & woman’s ministries. I just am woman who comes with a very broken & fragile heart who wants to be real but an encouragement to other woman who are broken too. I am choosing to fend off the effects of superficiality @ fight to find purpose in this crazy world.
Also, I just wanted to conclude to one of your earlier bloggers Michelle who was struggling with depression. I don’t know why but yesterday I came out of church feeling an opression of the enemy I have never felt before in my entire life. I was in the thick of it & really just asked the Lord if He could just take me soon, cause I don’t want to really stay on this earth anymore. Then I thought how Jesus must have felt going to the cross & the attack of the enemy on Him. Can you even imagine? He broke through straight to my heart. He loves me & is not through with me yet. Just know Michelle today He does you too. And we are more than conquerors & VICTORS because of what He did for us. And when your soul feels as parched & dry as mine did yesterday remember….
“The LORD will guide you ALWAYS; he will satisfy your needs in a sun-scorched land & will strengthen your frame. You WILL BE like a well-watered garden, like a spring whose waters never fail.”…Isaiah 58:11
Meme
Virginia
My inspiration is my niece, she is 14, pretty and smart. I want her to see a secure woman in me.
If I can become more secure maybe I can be an example to others. Two times in the last couple of weeks I have stopped myself from comparing myself to someone. I’ve told myself that I am created by God and I am beautiful to Him. That is all that is important. I am claiming my dignity. I have this treasure!
My passion has always been missions. My fears and insecurity have kept me from fulfilling this passion. I have begun in the last several years to get more involved with women’s ministry in my church. I hope to be able to get more involved in missions as I say So Long Insecurity.
1. My two sons, 12 and 9 years, are my inspiration to be a woman of strength, security, and courage. I want to give them, model for them, and nurture in them all God intended for me to as their mom. And I want to be an example and source of grace and love and dignity to all the little ladies they go to school with.
2. I want to be part of the solution by speaking faith and truth into conversations that reveal insecurity, fear, and doubt – and by blessing and praying for women when I feel offended or misunderstood, rather than retreating in hurt.
3. My passion has long been to a) write a book annointed by the Holy Spirit that draws hearts irresistably to Jesus – like a handful have done for me; b) to inspire people to love Jesus deeply and see how very big and wonderful and powerful and loving He is; and c) to offer a glimpse of a family that loves and lives for Jesus to kids that don’t have that at home. I’ve lost sight of these over the last number of years. I want them back.
1. I’d have to say my younger girl cousins. I have 2 (actually 4) younger girl cousins, but the 2 I’m thinking of are sisters… I know that they do things to be “accepted” in this world. I am by no means any better than them, but I feel like I need to tell them there is MORE than what you are looking for. They go to church and I know they’ve been saved/baptized. But, I don’t know why they are living this way. I am not judging – I want to be there for them and to show them what a secure woman looks like and I hope to be that example to them.
2. I hope that I am kind and cautious with my words. If anything, it would not be the way I dress – I am far too insecure myself to think that I could make someone else even more secure with my looks. Ha! But, maybe I could be more personable… not so much standoffish… really get to know someone personally and not just on a superficial level. I know I feel insecure when someone ignores me or doesn’t really get to know the real ME.
3. I’ve always had a place in my heart for young girls. While in college, I would lead many D-NOW’s (does everyone have these?) and even lead a weekly Wednesday night bible study. I have seen some of these girls fall… and some fell hard. The Lord graciously has picked them back up… but I always think, if I did something more, would they be in this predicament? That is just Satan getting at me… it is not my doing. But, I’ve always felt a special need for young girls. Maybe because I was that one young girl in Middle School who always felt left out, the nerd of sorts 🙂 The one who didn’t have a specific “place” the one who was made fun of. I still feel this way… but my heart aches for those girls who feel that same way!
To be honest, I have not been in a Sunday School class for myself or my husband since this time last year. We keep going back and forth with finding a new church… one that has a place for us 🙂 We love our home church now and attend weekly, just not in SS form 🙂 I just feel like I’ll let people down if we don’t attend this church… where I’ve grown up in and all. It just doesn’t have that strong Newlywed/young couples class that we so desperately need… so if anyone is reading this – would you pray that my husband and I have the courage to do so!? And pray that we trust God to show us… it may not be easy, but I pray it is! We were married last May and now it’s almost a year (GOODNESS!) and I feel like we haven’t gotten to connect with a church in that way – together.
Patty
Colorado
50’s
married
1. I actually have three very important girls in my life – my two daughters (mid-20’s) and a six-month old granddaughter, that I would like to be a better example to. My daughters have grown up with a mom who was full of insecurities. I didn’t know all my insecurities at the time, yet all along I knew something was not right. About six months ago, I began to find out that I had been terribly abused as a child. As I am working through all that, my insecurities are making sense to me. I don’t want to waste any more time not being who God designed me to be. As my sweet little graddaughter jumps and claps in my arms to the worship music in the church service, I want so much to be a better example of a strong, confident woman of God to her than I ever was to my girls. As I look in her big, trusting eyes, I want to be the grandmother she needs and one who God wants her to have in me. And I want my daughters to see Jesus freeing me from my past as an example to them of how truly amazing and loving Jesus is. I want to be an encouragement to them to not bow down to the world’s view of what a woman should be and do.
2. One way to become part of the solution is to understand more about the true and deep love of Jesus and show that to other women. I’m talking about seeing every woman as uniquely created by God and dearly loved by Him. That she is also one of God’s kids, just like me! And He is crazy about her, which should cause me to respect and value her more than I would normally.
3. Some years ago I felt that God gave me Isaiah 61:1 as my calling in life, but I didn’t know what that really meant for me. As I found out about the abuse I endured as a child, the puzzle pieces of my life began to come together. My desire, my passion, is to see other women set free from their past too. When I am entirely healed from my past, I would like to follow after what God originally told me in Isaiah – to set the captives free. I want to be an instrument that God uses in other women’s lives for this. Also, I would like to be part of the prayer teams in our church that are available to pray for any needs that people might have. I see in my own life how Jesus is working to set me free and how He is using very special women to stand by me and pray with and for me. I have never seen such love and commitment in women of the church. It is really amazing. And I want to be a part of that. The power of God IS here for us today, to set us free to be the women He planned and purposed for us to be.
40’s
Single
MN
1) My 17 year old daughter is worth changing for and doing whatever it takes so she can see her mother model security and a better way. I am concerned she has suffered loss and dramatic change when her father left a year and a half ago and hasn’t spoken to her or seen her since he left. He was unhappy being married to me and filed for divorce and unfortunately she was left along with me. Hard to understand. I don’t want this to feed her insecurity or for her to see me deep in insecurity (which I have been most of my life that I can remember).
2) How can I be part of the solution? I can stop making comparisons with women at work who I see as more together, smarter and more valuable in the job than me. I can choose to be respectful and supportive of their ability and drive without subtracting value from myself. The idea of talking to yourself and being delibrate about what you say is fabulous. I will be doing that and being very delibrate about what I tell myself. “I am clothed with strength and dignity.”
3) I am trying to find my passion and praying for God to lead me where He wants me to be in His will. I am at a place in my life where I could go anywhere or do anything but I don’t want to miss God’s will for me. I am now excited to see what He has ahead. I do believe He is working all things for good and He is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to his power that is at work within us. I will find my passion. I have had a tender heart for broken marriages. Experiencing the heartbreaking brokenness myself completely changed my heart for others going through it. Right now I guess my passion is parenting.
Oh boy, did I love these chapters! I found so much freedom in chapters 15 and 16. Thanks again Beth for stepping out and writing this book! As the “poster child” for a book about insecurity, you certainly stepped out in faith to write it!
1. While it’s not for another woman, I am partially on this journey to remember my dignity for my husband. If I’m stronger as an individual, we will be a stronger team! I also want my a couple of high school girls that I mentor to “catch” security!
2. I had a great success moment this week! After asking a coworker how she was doing, it was obvious that she was feeling sad. I found myself feeling insecure that she didn’t want to share what was going on with me even though other coworkers knew the details. After I consciously called that I was operating out of my insecurity, I was able to remind myself of my dignity and that who she shared her life with was not a reflection of my value! So on my way out of work, I stopped by and gave her a hug and just said that I hoped life got easier for her. She smiled at me as I left work! To continue to fight for our gender and not against, consciously knowing when I am acting out of my feelings of insecurity and deliberately choosing to not act on it makes a huge difference.
3. God is still cultivating my passions but some of it has to do with working with the sick and underpriveleged. I work as a pediatric nurse which started by volunteering at a hospital in a third world country. This fall, I’m going to Guatemala with a team of surgeons and other nurses to perform cleft palate repairs! I’d also love to volunteer for the Make A Wish Foundation which touches a lot of my patients’ lives.
Ellen
Colorado
Married
20’s
1) As a high school and junior high youth group leader, I have a lot of girls to become secure for. One in particular, though, has been on my heart lately. We share a lot of the same interests, and lately I’ve noticed that we also share the same insecurities rooted in rejection, especially the questioning of our worth. I want to be secure so that I can help lead her, as well as the other girls, to a place of security in Christ. This girl is just like I was; she oves Christ, but the insecurities caused by rejection prevent her from fully experiencing His love for her. I’m hoping that the more I open up about my insecurities and the way God is healing them, as well as with lots of encouragement, that she, too, will be secure.
2) I could be more observant about when other women are insecure and do what I can to put them at ease. I can put my insecurities aside and focus on them as a person. I can obey Christ’s command and love them as He loves me. I can remember that I want to be a solution to the problem, not part of it. I can learn to recognize my insecurity triggers and nip them in the bud.
3)My God-given passion is to start a ministry in Paris, France aimed at healing survivors of human trafficking, sexual assault, child abuse, domestic violence, and former prostitutes looking for a new life. Although, I have not experienced any of these things, the victims have a special place in my heart. Furthermore, God has used the show Law and Order: SVU to help me heal from past hurts and even some insecurity. It has taught me to face my Enemy and call him out for who he is and what he has done to me. This has freed me from so many lies I believed because of him. This had a lot to with shaping my passion to bring healing to the victims in Paris. The plan is to move over there and open it in a few years. I will probably do some counseling, but my passion is to create and teach Bible studies that will help them heal. I already know that this is bigger than me, becuase I told God that if He wanted me to start a ministry, He would have to provide a team. A few days later, I emailed someone I knew and He had put the same passion in her heart. Just a little over a week ago, someone else I knew was in town for the weekend and I learned that God was working in her heart to be a part of this. It is so awesome to see how God putting this together. One of the reasons I am reading this book is because I do not feel fit to lead this and I knew my choices were to give into insecurity and not do it or deal with my insecurity and trust God to make up for what I lack. Thank you, Siesta Mama, for helping make this dream come true. And if anyone reading this shares the same passion and would like to be part of this ministry, clicking on my name will take you to my blog. Leave a comment with your name and email address (won’t be made public)and I will send you a message.
Elizabeth
Escalon, CA
20’s
Single
1. Someone worth doing what it takes to live abundantly: My unborn daughter if God so chooses to bless me, but more tangibly my niece Caitlin. She is 16 and just like her mother, my sister, a woman I love dearly. Caitlin has always looked up to me and I want to be the kind of woman that she wants to be like. Dealing with boys and mean girls at school are where some of my insecurities began and this is where she is now. I hope by conquering my own insecurities I can help her overcome hers before they begin to take hold and rob her of precious time.
2. I have already begun to recognize my own insecurities in other women I associate with — not out of comparison but out of recognition alone. Just to see in them what I see in myself gives me strength to overcome. This also personalizes these women and makes them much less of a threat. Just conquering my own insecurity and being open about it with the women in my life will help them recognize it in their own lives and start the journey to overcome as well. I hope that by truly “seeing” other women and recognizing that we all have issues and overcoming my own insecurities I will encourage them to do the same.
3. I am a passionate person by nature so I had to ask my husband exactly what I am passionate about in life. I am passionate about family and about my job but I believe the thing I am most passionate about is God’s Word. Reading is my escape .. the thing I lose track of time in. And the one book that captivates my attention more than anything is God’s Word. I specifically love sharing what I learn with other women too in Bible study classes. I love women’s bible study — so this must be my passion.
Recently I got to share the story of Christ –from birth to death and resurrection — with a young woman that had never heard the story but God was calling her to Him despite this. I witnessed her heart recognizing her savior and walked with her into a relationship with Christ. My heart has never felt so much joy and passion for the story of Christ. So while I have many earthly passions due my crazy personality — I’ll try something new all the time — my next big thing is ballet lessons (I’ve never danced a day in all my 34 years at least not for anyone but God and certainly not in front of people who can dance); My greatest passion is telling the story of Christ and studying and sharing the Word of God.
Heather
Tallahassee, Florida
30’s
married
I have no daughters only boys and they seen to have no issues with thier self worth however I’am the youngest of four girls. My sisters and I come from a long line of ladies who have never felt good enough. I struggled with this in my first marraige as I was in a very abbusive relationship but through God’s mercey and grace he has pulled me out of that pit. But, I’m asking for prayer for one of my sisters who is struggling with lots of depression and low self worth. It has gotten really bad and no matter how hard I have tried to help it’s to no improvement! I actually am in fear of what she might do and even worse her soul! Please remember this in your prayers!
1) I believe my husband and two grown sons are worthy of me living an abundant and effective life for Christ. While I have been to insecure to share my insecurities with my husband, after reading this book, I know he is bound to see them. He deserves to be married to a woman free of the junk Satan throws my way. For my sons, I want to continue to be someone who has an impact on their lives and truly believe I will have a greater impace without all the junk my insecurities have caused. My youngest son is not married. I am praying for his future wife and pray that she too will learn how to turn to God rather than allowing her insecurities to cause her (and him) pain. For my daughter-in-law, while she seems so very confident, I feel sure that deep down she must have an insecurity or two and I am hoping I can be an example to her as well.
In addition to my family, I am a middle school math teacher. MANY girls feel insecure about math and almost ALL middle school girls feel insecure about a lot of things. It is my prayer that I can be a positive influence in their lives as well.
2)I could help my gender by being an encourager rather than a basher. Even in Christian cirles I see/hear/have taken part in other women being torn down. I want that to stop now. It was out of insecurity that I listened/spoke. I see that now and don’t want to be part of Satan’s workers again!
3)Beth, thank you for the comment that we are not shallow if we don’t have a ready answer for this. I was already beginning to beat myself up because I am not sure, and then I read that sentence. I know I am a work in progress and that God is not finished with me yet. I will wait on Him to direct me and show what passion He has for me and then will move forward. I am guessing that my work with middle school students may be part of that. But I also know that God has some other exciting things that are taking shape in our lives, which I can’t put out for public viewing yet, and am waiting for His direction.
On a side note, for those who prayed for my boys who were both considering the military, thank you for your prayers. The youngest one is now reconsidering. Long story, but we believe the oldest will benefit greatly because they are asking (yes, THEY are asking) him to study nuclear engineering and to attend officers training school. The youngest son was our heartbreak and concern. I see his reconsidering as a direct answer to prayer. Thank you dear sisters in Christ for lifting them up to the Father in prayer.
Yvonne
Louisville, Ky
40’s
(are we still putting all this??? I could not remember)
Beth and all~
1). I have a blended family of six girls ages 10-20. Need I say more? Three came into this marriage with him, three with me. Our individual devorices occurred pretty much at the same time and to say the least, it was hard on them all-especially spiritually. All six were active in church and their faith and that has taken the biggest hit. For the most part, their faith has been damaged and I as a mother and step-mother so desire for them to see His love, grace, mercy, and forgiveness in how I, how my husband and I live now. I pray daily He will re-capture their hearts.
2). This was a bit tough in that I recently lost a friend and ministry partner over a personal ministry “disagreement”. As I have mentioned before, in her harsh e-mails to me, she is the one who identified my insecurities. I had overlooked them. It hurt having someone you confided in throw them at you like darts and I am at the point where I have to go beyond what I am comfortable with…forgiving. My husband had instructed me to step away, to not reply to any further e-mails and I did. I would say hello when I see her (which is rare now days) but God says I have to forgive. I would much rather hold a grudge. I can be pretty good at that. I have given it to God and He will prevail. My goal from this? To be able to help other women live in peace, communicate in peace, love in peace even if they don’t agree with the way something is being done in church. We need to go back to those old fashion type of mentoring friendships like our mothers and grandmothers grew up in!
3). I have truly struggled the most with this chapter. I read it last night and it has given me unrest. I feel like I am in “transition”. I just switched jobs. I left a college teaching job to manage a hospice team. Is this new job my ultimate passion (helping people die with peace and dignity?)-I am not sure. I have had to gracefully take a back seat to a womens ministry I started 5 years ago because I am no longer available to put in the time it requires. It was the passion God laid on my heart then…is that what He is calling me to still be passionate about now…I don’t know. My husband and I lead the youth at our church but I am not sure I can identify this as my ultimate passion. My drive time is an hour to work and an hour back. God and I talked about this on the way in this morning. I want to know what His planned passion is for me in this life. I can name several thing I enjoy doing or want to do but is that what He created me to be passionate about for Him? He didn’t give me an answer this morning so we will be talking again on the way home (and again and again if we have to). I am not letting up on this one. I want to be passionate about His calling for my life and right now…I am in transition. I would love to completly walk away from my ugly past but more than that, I would like to see God somehow use it to glorify and honor Him…waiting for His timing still. The process has begun and I am so thankful. I so loved Isaiah 58: 6-11. I am passionate about being in His Word and I love sharing that with others…whether it is with a hurting teenager, a dying indiviual, or another women with a dark past like mine. As I write I am compelled to say I want to be more passioante about Him…Christ and sharing His grace that I so cherish. If only the busyness of this world (jobs, committments, family) would not steal so much of our time….
Believing Him~Pamela, 47
Missouri, married, blended family
36 years
Tennessee
1) My greatest motivation is Faith – my daughter, only four years old. She is confident, determined, joyful, expressive, optimistic. It breaks my heart to know the battles, pain and insecurities she will face as she becomes a woman. I know I am her greatest influence and I so want to model a healthy, balanced life that is focused on Christ while living in our very self-centered culture.
2) I am doing my best to be authentic with my women friends and vulnerable (especially in small group) to expose my weaknesses and struggles. For years, I was the girl who looked like I had it all together. When my defeats and pain were exposed, I was blessed to find that women actually related better to me, came to my defense and rallied around me. I am a witness of one who has been upheld by the grace and service of others. I want to be available when others have their moment of dispair and to encourage the sparks of faith in others. Even at work, I do my best to encourage my female co-workers, to support them when they need it and to serve them when possible (this even means cleaning the ladies room, when needed or washing the coffee cups left in the conference room – not my ‘job description.’) When a friend breaks out, or risks something extraordinary, I want to respond with unselfish encouragement and empower her in any way I can.
3) I am deep in the busy-ness of the toddler years (children age 5, 4, 2), and I’m often discouraged by what I cannot accomplish during this season of life (I also work outside the home). However, my passion, is truly to convey to women that real life with Christ is possible and wonderful. I feel that God has prepared me to serve in the church, to equip women and support them in their roles as workers, mothers, wives, teachers, etc. I envision that my upbringing in the parsonage (pastor’s kid) along with so many life experiences that connect to women (broken heart, infertility, painful friendships/family relationships, betrayed vows…) will allow me to connect with others who are in the midst of their own struggles and help them move forward with Christ.
Leanne
20’s
Married
Mississippi
1)We don’t have any children yet. I want to work through my insecurities now so some day I won’t pass it on to my children.
2)First I want to stop buying into the cultural definition of beauty and there will be no negative talking about women. I want to stop the whole comparison and competition between women. I have started with my own friendships. We will not gossip!
3)My passion is encouragement. I know this is my God-given gift. I love to share encouragment thru note writing, sending cards, sending small gifts, a phone call, etc.
Leanne,
I just read your post. And I had to say, YOU GO GIRL!!! I think it is awesome that you want to work on yourself first before you have kids!!! Just had to let you know.
Mischelle
1. As a mother of a 4 1/2 year old daughter, I am wanting to change for her. She needs to see what a healthy, secure in Christ woman looks like.
2. I think by just being an encourager to women of all ages and pointing them to Christ as the healer/remover of all insecurities. I feel I have learned so much more about the roots of insecurities that I can help, if asked, others see the real issues.
3. God has been working in my heart for a few years to create a passion for women to study, in depth, His Word. It is life to all and I love encouraging women in this realm. I also find this passion extending to my secular circle of women by trying to share how the Lord is working in my life right now.
Janae
Riverside,PA
40’s
Married
1. no young girl comes to mind, but I’ll keep my eyes open for God’s leading. My husband and I have no children, which as I approach 40 this June, has become more poignant. We’ll see what God has…
Some of the topics in this weeks reading hit hard – something i have been ignoring too long and is clearly a source of insecurity, and as stated, needs to be dealt with that Satan would not have a foothold!
Thank you Beth and team and other Siestas for your love and being God’s hands and feet in this journey!
1) My 17 yr old daughter,Jasdeep & 13 yr old son,Aman, are what make me want to walk closer with Christ. It is my greatest desire that they may abide in Him, truly know & believe Him fully.
I don’t want my insecurities to stand in the way of me mentoring them. It hurts me when I sometimes see them struggling to find their identity in this world-and who am I to blame, God knows I have my own identity crisis too. I want to used by God as a woman of influence in their lives-not my influence but God’s influence through me.
These two beautiful children of mine, will carry on our name to the next generation & beyond. I pray that they will carry faith,security & dignity with them.
2)I could stop comparing myself to others & be content with what God has given me. I’d also want to be more genuinely friendly & not be prejudice towards people even before I’ve come to know them.
3) I’m still praying that God would reveal to me my talent.
Shaminder
Married
30’s
Toronto,ON
Siestaville – now that is what I am talking about. I am not much of a blogger, but just got done watching the Minister’s Wives LPL and was completely undone! In the past month I have read So Long Insecurity and Breaking Free and am now starting on the Breaking Free bible study. As you can tell, God has a lot of work to do!!
1. I am inspired to living in Christ’s security for my 8-year old daughter and also for the girls in my husband’s student ministry. They are all so worth it!
2. I think letting go of the root of competition and all of its symptoms will do much to help our gender.
3. I have been praying about this particular question since I read chapter 16 last month. I am not sure, but I am committed to finding it. The comment that our passion may come from the deepest point of our pain has resonated, but I have so many points to choose from it may be hard to narrow it down. 🙂
1) I have a 6 year old daughter who is very sensitive and has tendencies for insecurity. (I think it is in the dna–I see it in my grandmother too.) So she is definetly inspiration to live in security. I have to learn this so she can see a good example. I also have two boys. I have noticed that boys tend to marry women much like their moms in some cases. I want my boys to seek out secure, godly women, so I need to model that for them too. My insecurities show up the most, at this point, in my extended family. So for all our sakes to have a stronger family, I need to do this!
2) I need to stop the comparison and bad math. I want to encourage inherent value in others, and not believe lies, but only God’s truth.
3) My favorite principle in the Bible is that when we seek Him, we will find Him! I want to know Him! Like the story Beth told in “Jesus, the One and Only” about Melissa…I’m a wanna be. I want to hear God like she does! And if I can share what He reveals to me, great! Deuteronomy 29:29 says there are things that only God knows, but what He reveals belongs to us and our children (Shelly paraphrase). The enemy had about convinced me that I was a bad mom and just survive and ride along. But I need to get that passion back. If I have opportunities to share it outside my family, that is great too!
oh yes,
Shelly
married
30’s
Texas
1) Briefly describe someone who is worth doing what it takes to you to live abundantly and effectively in Christ. Help us picture her so that she inspires us, too. Needless to say, don’t share more than she’d want you to.
There are many – – the known and the unknown. Most significantly, my daughter Cammy and my daughter on the way – Chloe Alejandra. I wrote about my daughter Cammy once, we were sitting in the car and got home late and she woke up from her nap in the car. She’s about to be 3 soon. And it must have been the moonlight but I looked into her little tired eyes and her eyes looked so dark like shiny onyx gemstones and for a split second I could see her all grown up and mature. She had the most beautiful smile – a smile that gets handed down from generation to generation. It’s the smile that my mother has. It’s also a smile my sisters have. Others say I have it too! My little one in the womb even though I can’t describe how she looks, I can describe her temperament. She is a going to be a hula dancer like me. Sometimes I think she is dancing in there.
2) Name a couple of ways pertinent to your sphere of life and influence that you could look out for your own gender in our battle with insecurities. How are you prepared to do that?
1) My actions instead of just words – how I treat others keeping in mind we all have insecurities.
2) Ministry – seeking and spreading the words of Jesus
3) Improving myself and my communications with others – sharing my testimony. I’m taking a class on Neurolinguistics programming and just the beginner class alone has allowed me to improve so much on my communications with others. How to effectively read another person’s body language so as to respond to them in a manner that’s comfortable to them and inspires relationship building and rapport building. A great site for NLP is with Susan Stageman at http://www.nlptrainingconcepts.com/aboutNlp.php
4) Blogging and utilizing social media and my own examiner column to set an example for other women to follow their passions, creativity and empowerment. It doesn’t matter if you have an audience of millions or even just 1- it’s still an audience.
I see a lot of it working already – my positive and productive relationships have grown and matured. The ones that have been negative have naturally fallen to the wayside. It’s has been a wonderful experience so far and the fact that this discussion group has been in the background makes this book so much more valuable and powerful.
3) Based on Chapter 16 and the challenge to look past ourselves, what is your passion? What is something outside of yourself that you feel passionate about?
There are a few things that I’m passionate about and in all of these things God and Jesus is ALWAYS there to hold my hand, to let me rest my head on their shoulders sometimes. It’s how I have the will to continue whether the progress is a millimeter or a whole mile.
1) The evolution of myself – I understand that life is constantly evolving and while I may have the best laid plans, God himself is determining a fate for me that I may not completely understand but I surrender to. I make the best of all of this and have been blessed so much along the way. I have been blessed to be shaped by the experiences, events and people that come into my life.
2) Reading and Writing – I am passionate about writing – whether it’s fiction, non-fiction, cultural events, business theory, basically anything that I am exposed to and have a talent for. I have tons of notebooks that are lying everywhere around me just as there are a ton of bibles at my grasp since the bible is at the top of my list for inspiration. I want to become a prolific writer one day to serve God in a way that no one else has. I have experiences that need to be communicated and testimonies that needs to be delivered and for the next year I’m building the foundation of both reading and writing. Then when God says it is time, it will be for me. Reading exercises the mind and allows my mind to explore areas that I has too insecure to tap into. Writing releases the glorious things I have learned and day by day it evolves.
3) Connecting people – It is through my evolution and my communication that I have met people and worked hard to connect people to those things that they need the most. Those needs maybe a relationship with God, tips on a job interview, social services, etc. While I can’t be the expert at everything, I want to establish relationships and understand people’s expertise so I can fulfill my passion to help people who have a need by introducing them to people that can fulfill that need honestly, with integrity and with God’s purpose.
Katie
29
MN
married
1 I feel like I have lots of inspiration. Two of the top are my sister, she and I are reading the book at the same time and my mom who plans to read the book. We have laughed about it and wondered how our family would change if we were all secure! But truly I can’t wait. Also at the top of my list are my two boys, I want them to have a secure mommy so they don’t worry about things that shouldn’t concern them!
2.I can and will stop judgeing other women, I have been so guilty of looking at other women (esp. in church) and saying look I am dressed better than she is – mostly because I have been insecure about my clothes.
3. My passion used to be women, seeing women grow and be discipled through bible study. I have sort of forgotten it with 2 cross country moves and 2 boys in 5 years. I don’t know what my passion is now…
Jariza
33
Married
Alburtis, PA
My two beautiful daughters. Lexis 13 and Serena 10. We have a very close relationship and we are constantly having girl talks. Lexis is sweet, quiet, loyal, protective one. Serena is the wild, funny, inquisitive one. They are both so precious to their dad and I. What a responsibility I have to deal with myself and allow God to change me because they are so worth it to me! Help me Jesus please to do this. Thanks so much for this chapter. I loved it.
1) My two daughters and my son. Brooke-7, Hannah-4, Caleb-1. There is no doubt that they are motivation enough to be a secure mommy!
2)1-2 So here’s what I want you to do, God helping you: Take your everyday, ordinary life—your sleeping, eating, going-to-work, and walking-around life—and place it before God as an offering. Embracing what God does for you is the best thing you can do for him. Don’t become so well-adjusted to your culture that you fit into it without even thinking. Instead, fix your attention on God. You’ll be changed from the inside out. Readily recognize what he wants from you, and quickly respond to it. Unlike the culture around you, always dragging you down to its level of immaturity, God brings the best out of you, develops well-formed maturity in you. (Romans 12:1-2) The Message
3) My passion has always been singing. The Lord has given a gift that I love using for His glory! Writing songs is my way of testifing to God’s amazing soverinty and grace. I love encouraging others and praying for them. I just desire to spread the good news of Christ!! He makes everything beautiful!
I am passionate about seeing women come out of prostitution. It’s been a passion of mine for a long time now but thanks be to God I am finally doing it! 🙂 My husband and I are missionaries in Germany and I have the privelege with working with women in one of Germany’s most infamous red light districts. I go into the brothels once a week and also have relationships with women who are working on the street. I write about my experiences with these dear women on our blog. Having a one on one talk with one of these women about Jesus is one of my life’s greatest joys. I am also fiercely passionate about God’s Word. God is good. Love to you all, and thank you sincerely for your ministry to all of us, Krista
1) My inspiration is relatively new. We just found out we are expecting a baby girl after two boys. We are so thrilled to have an “ally” for Mommy :), but at the same time it scares me a bit. I don’t want her to have to deal with the insecurity issues of growing up a female in today’s world. So, my goal is to be an example of a secure woman for my daughter so she can see she’s not obligated to be insecure. With God, she has the option of security and it’s a heck of a lot better!
2) To try not to be competetive with women – even friends. It’s easy for me to become bogged down in petty comparisons. I plan on praying to God for strength and security before going out with my friends so I can change my attitude and hopefully be a light to others.
3) My passion is mom’s ministry. We had a fabulous mom’s group program at our last church in downtown Chicago. But, out here in the suburbs, there are far fewer groups like that. I would like to start a mom’s program that can minister to the needs of moms of young children.
Aubrey
Married
26
Hinsdale, IL