So Long Insecurity Week Eight!

Hey, Sweet Things! I’m so happy to meet you over here on our new site! We really feel like we’ll be able to serve you more efficiently here on WordPress and appreciate you going to the extra trouble the transition takes. In no time at all, this will feel like home again to the community we call Siestaville: a spicy little respite in a chaotic world. We’ll have the benefit of more technical support and far fewer quirks (besides the 1300+ X 10 on last week’s post. A keeper forever. And don’t think I won’t tell on you. Speaking material for years to come).

I am writing your Thursday post from my back porch on this gorgeous Wednesday late afternoon.  Houston has a reputation for a lot of things (good and bad) but few people accuse her of beauty. She gives it her best shot in the Spring, however. The azaleas are in full bloom and so are all my early roses. The lawn has turned green. The trees are budding. Staring across my small back yard I can count at least fourteen distinctive living colors. The temperature is perfect. The wind is blowing. I hear at least four different kinds of birds singing. Some of them are fussing because I’m out here and the feeders haven’t been filled since yesterday. They think this is IHOP.

Keith’s out and about. Star is dropping a yellow tennis ball at my feet and wearing a plaid bandana the color of Easter eggs. Curtis, Amanda, and the kids are on their way to Wednesday evening church where they’ll eat supper with friends there in our Fellowship Hall (do all churches have those?), then CJ will teach his class. Amanda will be his best student and biggest fan and Jackson and AB will go to their classes. Melissa is in Atlanta fighting with the clock on the countdown till the final form of her Thesis is due. By the time you’re reading this, it will be turned in. She will be exhausted but relieved. Colin will no doubt be ecstatic. God knew exactly what kind of man that young woman was going to need.

I have had my first real day off in several weeks. Hmmmmm. Maybe even three or more. That’s not the way we like to do it around here but it was largely unavoidable. The book tour (first time I’ve ever done one) pitched into the middle of the regular speaking/teaching calendar threw my schedule over the edge. I have said to the Lord several times, “If You’ll just get me till next Wednesday…” And He did. The tour is complete and I am getting to take a glorious deep breath. I did meet my LPM staff at Sweet Tomatoes on this day off, however, because, after all, they’re my best buddies. I’m so blessed to also like so many of the people I love. We’re all in town this weekend, of course, for Easter. I wouldn’t be away for anything. It would never be the same away from my home church of 25 years where I will worship with people precious to me, both family and friends, both young and not so young. Then my extended family will meet up at our house for a big roast, mashed potatoes, green bean casserole and an as-of-yet undetermined dessert. About the time we’re too full to bend over, we’ll bend over anyway and hide Easter eggs.

I dearly love this time of year.

OK, young ladies, we have a book to bring to finish so I better stop musing over Spring and start thinking So Long Insecurity. We’ve got only two more weeks to go in our discussions and five chapters left to read. That means we’re going to need to take three chapters this week so we can close up next week with only two. That works, though. It’s not hard reading and many of you have already finished the book anyway and are reviewing it for the sake of discussion. However it works for you is great with me!  Your homework this week will include Chapters 14, 15, and 16 and the following three questions –  one per chapter. Try to be as succinct as possible in each answer so we can read through many of the comments.

1) As you surely noticed, Chapter 14 is more of a testimony than a teaching but it concludes with a charge to deal with our female insecurities for the sake of young girls coming up behind us.  Annabeth was my big inspiration for the journey. Briefly describe someone who is worth doing what it takes to you to live abundantly and effectively in Christ. Help us picture her so that she inspires us, too. Needless to say, don’t share more than she’d want you to.

2) I wish we could discuss all of Chapter 15 in person but this is the next best thing. Name a couple of ways pertinent to your sphere of life and influence that you could look out for your own gender in our battle with insecurities. In other words, how can you (not others but you in particular) start becoming part of the solution in your female relationships rather than default into part of the problem. No condemnation here. Goodness knows, we’ve all been both. Our challenge is to learn to be deliberate. How are you prepared to do that?

3) I can’t wait to see your answers to this one. Based on Chapter 16 and the challenge to look past ourselves, what is your passion? If you don’t have one presently, don’t feel pressured or unnerved. You might be too deep in toddlers or school work to think past the urgent. Those things are priority and need to be your passion right now. If, however, you long for something that makes you feel fully alive and part of something specific God is doing for the greater good, ask Him to nurture that vision in you. It will be ultimately be the key to life on the outskirts of self-absorption. Keep in mind, your passion may not be anything you’re currently engaged in. Maybe you don’t have the opportunity to participate right now. Maybe it’s just in dream-form. Or maybe it’s just a place God has tendered your heart. Try to give it a name. What is something outside of yourself that you feel passionate about?

I will look so forward to your answers, Sisters! I’m so honored to have you along on this journey. Try to enjoy it while you’re at it. Believe it or not, as much as it’s pried into our business, we might just miss it when it’s over.

May the Lord answer you when you are in trouble. May the God of Jacob make you secure! (Ps. 20:1 NET)

With much affection,




491 Responses to “So Long Insecurity Week Eight!”

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  1. 251
    Kara says:

    Aurora, Il

    1. My inspirations are my 3 daughters…who are on the cusp on understanding insecurity. They are 7, 5, and 16 months. I feel just like Amanda when she said, “oh man, I’m going to have to deal with some stuff. I sure don’t want to give it to her.” I think we all want so much MORE for our children…and I want my daughters to be secure in who they are…but most important, who they are in the Lord. I pray for this everyday for them.

    2. As a pastor’s wife, I am in relationship with many women at our church. I tend to hear what people think are innocent comments about other women in the church…and I can either address them and be a part of the gossip or be an encouragement to every woman to be the things you have addressed in the book. Sometimes I walk away from a conversation feeling like I contributed to the problem instead of helping with it. I want to be part of the solution and help women look out for one another rather than condemn each other.

    3. God has always given me a passion to be in relationships with women. And I have seen him use this in me as I worked with high school girls in our church, and now adults. he instilled in me a passion to teach middle school and I was drawn to those girls…and their cry for attention and purpose. And he has continued to instill this in me when he blessed me with THREE GIRLS for crying out loud. I know that this is where God wants me…even though I feel insecure about my role in ministry and my influence. But he has used my past and my present to show me that my future is being in relationships with women and sharing Jesus with them.

  2. 252
    Stacy says:

    1- is my granddaughter Kloe, she is almost 2. I want her to learn these early years to know who she can be in Christ and who she created her to be. I want to be an example to her of what a free christian woman can be.
    2-I want the women I get to minister too, to see who they are in Christ. I try to help the women I see they are more.
    3- Right now in my life I am seeking God for his passion, as a 45 year old woman with adopted 3 year old, 4 others grown or almost grown and 2 grandchildren, I can be busy especially when grandchildren come to visit. I am just praying. Not sure where God is taking me. I know one thing right now God has me on a journey to encourage one person a day with a hand made card for a year. Been hard. Came down with mono, and now face another health problem. But I know God is healing me and strengthening me physically and emotionally.

  3. 253
    Sandy says:

    1. My wonderful daughters, ages 22 and 19, are secure now, and I don’t want that to ever change! They are both smart, talented, artistic, creative, athletic, fun-loving, interesting, beautiful, loving people, and they are hopeful about their futures. They have dreams, and I want them to pursue those dreams without insecurity getting in their way like I allowed it to do in my own life.

    2. At first I thought that I’d just stop sharing my insecurities and vulnerabilities (um, whining) with my girlfriends, but then I realized that wouldn’t be honest. So if I do share, I will make sure to whine with a solution, which will be to bring it all back to God. Perhaps if I share my faith that God will help me through my struggles, I can remind my friends that He is there for them as well.

    3. Looking back many years I see a pattern of my passion – coaching and encouraging others. I like finding the positive in people and empowering them to build on it. When people are hurting, I want to make sure they know that someone cares. I am also passionate about helping people who truly do not have the means to help themselves. My heart is in Africa and Latin America; I want to save child soldiers in Uganda, street children in Peru, and trafficked women and children everywhere. There is so much need! I pray for an opportunity and an income that would allow me to help.

    Corona, CA

  4. 254
    Andrea Porter says:

    1. I would like to describe our 14 year old daughter Paige. She is beautiful,smart, funny, she is fun to be around, she makes me laugh. She loves abundantly, always thinks of others and tries to meet their needs, before her own, she is a very good friend. She is gracious and forgiving. She loves her Daddy and her brother unconditionally. Being raised as a military kid, being the “new” kid every 2 years. Making new friendships, while trying to keep some of the old ones alive. I am continually amazed at her strength, confidence, courage and grace as she meets theses challenges over and over again. I am not sure if I could do what she has done so well over her school age years. I think going into any school’s cafeteria for the very first time, not knowing a single soul, would have petrified me at any age. However, she handles it with confidence in who she is and does it in a beautiful way. She is my inspiration to be clothed with dignity and strength in Christ and to show her what that means by watching and listening to how I conduct myself in front of her and her friends. I see and hear glimpses of strength and dignity and I believe she is on the road to being a secure woman. She surprises me sometimes, with what she says at age 14 that took me until I was 24, to say and believe about myself. After surviving the battlegrounds of adolescence, with numerous scars from mean girls. I feel obligated to pass on what I have learned to our daughter. She will be well equipped and be clothed with dignity and strength, in Christ, and live life and have life abudantly through Christ. This I say with a promise to God. My Mom always said these two things to me and my siblings. “Be your own best friend.” and “Choose your friends wisely.” Two pieces of advice I carry to this day and will pass on to our daughter as well as to our son.

    2. For starters reading this book, so many friends I want to share this with, thanks Miss Beth for writing SLI. I think I will have our daughter read it too. I want to show how wonderful it is to be a secure woman in our media driven time, to show other women what liberty they can find in being clothed with dignity and strength through Christ. To let them know that it can never be taken away from them, ever. To live my life in a way that can be an example for others to imitate. I know it seems arrogant to say that, but I know in my heart, that is what Christ would want me to do, with his guiding hand upon me always. I think imitating the example he lived, would be a worthy goal to strive towards.

    3. My passion is learning more and more about God’s word. Falling deeper in love with Jesus Christ. Pursue a place in Women’s Ministry, to help other woman become secure in Christ and to write and teach my own Bible studies. I also want to share my testimony with as many people as I can. One more thing I said above, I want to live as a secure woman in Christ, so that other women would want that same security. Wouldn’t it be great to touch another woman’s life by showing her that security, dignity and strength is within her own grasp? PTL! Alleluia and Amen!!:-) grin

  5. 255
    Marion says:

    Just checking to see if this is working. I answered all three questions for week 8 but I didn’t see the post.
    I don’t think I can remember everything I said. 🙁

  6. 256
    Heidi A. says:

    1. I had a tough time answering this question. At this stage in my life, I don’t have much contact with our younger generations. My inspiration is the Moms of all those young girls. One day my son will hopefully pick one to marry and I hope she’s had a Mom who has been an example of strength and security.

    2. The key female relationship that insecurity plays a part in my life is my Mother. She lives in constant fear and in anger of how her life has turned out. I am going to give her this book and try not to take the bait when her insecurities get the better of her and come flying at me. I also have a group of ladies I meet with weekly that share life situations that I have recognized before are being clouded with insecurities. I am going to be more consistent in reassuring them when they share those things.

    3. My passion is women recovering from the devastation of divorce and infidelity. I think our society and even our Christian friends who have not experienced these things innocently add to the burdens of those who are forced to face these two situations. I also am particularly passionate about the kids who are caught in the middle of it all.

  7. 257
    Renee Swope says:

    I’m late to the party this week but these questions really got me thinking so here I am to answer:

    My inspiration to finding complete security and confidence in Christ is my newly adopted daughter from Ethiopia. Her name is Aster. She was orphaned at 6months, weighing only 8lbs. Her mom chose life for her when she could not give it to her. Aster’s paperwork says her father abandoned her before birth. We know Aster will experience a great sense of loss. Yet I pray God’s redeeming love and rescue plan to bring her into our family will remind her of her worth and His plans to bring Glory to His Name through her life as she grows into her story. I experienced emotional abandonment as a child and know the power Christ has to heal, restore and bind up the brokenhearted. I’ve sensed Him whisper to my heart, “Renee, remember all I have done in your life and pour it into her heart. Live in my promises and love this little girl who needs you the way you need Me.” I inherited or learned much of my insecurity but by God’s grace I am not passing it on. A new inheritance is in the making!

    My passion is to live in the transforming truth of Who I am in Christ and then pass on the hope I have received from Him to my family – and then to women He calls me to minister to each day.

  8. 258
    WisGalinOkee says:

    Just checking to see if my ‘photo’ shows up? !

  9. 259
    WisGalinOkee says:

    Ok — how ‘does’ one get the photo ‘attached’ to the comment — must I now go through Gravatar and respond — this person is tech – no – good!

  10. 260
    Missy says:

    2) I hesitate to share my passion because it is still a “raw area” for me in a lot of ways. In fact, I have been wrestling with God over it for the last several years. You see, I am about to finish law school in a couple of weeks. People who observe me from afar would think that a legal career is my lifelong dream, but, in truth, it’s not. At one time, I thought it was. Or, maybe I convinced myself that it was because it was the safe, most sensible thing to do. But, if I am true to the deepest longings in my spirit and the call that I feel God has placed on my heart, my passion is to devote my life to studying God’s word and making it accessible to other women. People often tell me that I can do that in my spare time and still be a lawyer as my day job. But, for some reason, that doesn’t make me feel any better. I can’t really explain it, but the thought of that does not put my heart at peace. I feel God is calling me to some type of full-time ministry. I just don’t know what yet. All I know is that when I study the Scriptures and lead bible studies with other women, I feel the most alive and at peace with God’s purpose for my life. Yet, I still struggle with the fear that I will fail or miss my calling. Nevertheless, Beth, you are SO right when you say that finding passion is the key to overcoming insecurity. I just struggle to have the faith to make that a reality in my life. Please pray for me!

    By the way, I’ve told you before, but I’ll tell you again — thank you so much for your ministry!! It has helped to cultivate my love for the Scriptures in so many ways, just as you say Buddy did for you.

    • 260.1
      Candice says:

      Missy, Thank you for sharing. I can relate to feeling like a passion area is such a personal thing to share. Perhaps thinking if we share it and it doesn’t come to pass, we have failed or worse yet the person we tell it to- will think that. Clearly, there is some of my insecurity. But, I’d just encourage you to keep on as you are, seeking the Lord- as simple as it is, yet difficult- trust his time to bring the evidence of your passion to life.

      • Missy Speir says:

        Thanks so much for your encouragement, Candice!! You are so right about the fear of failure, which is why So Long Insecurity has been such a needed journey for me! So, thanks again for your kind words!

  11. 261
    Melissa May says:

    1. My sweet, sensitive, beautiful (but real woman-in-the-making) 9 year old daughter Mikaela
    2. STOP comparing myself to other women and start appreciating them for who they really are (no more depersonalizing!!!!!) Speaking words of faith and security and telling other women about the new security I’ve found.
    3. My passion is for THE CHURCH – especially anyone who is struggling and hurting and needs to be set free by the Truth. I long to teach, lead worship, do counseling/prayer ministry more… whatever! And I’m realizing that as God starts throwing open doors for me that I need to NOT – CANNOT! – let insecurity keep me from stepping through them!!!!!

    Got this quote from my mom today… “Leave behind that tame, tepid, play-it-safe, follow-the-rules kind of faith. We have been called to an outrageous faith–a reckless faith that risks everything on the trustworthiness of God.” (Jennifer Kennedy Dean)

    Sound like a description of s SECURE FAITH to me! : )

  12. 262

    Athens, NY
    40’s, Married

    1) I have four children; one son, and three daughters. I, of course, am crazy about all of them. They are “worth doing what it takes for me to live abundantly and effectively in Christ.” I also have 34 nieces and nephews that I am crazy about. My heart is that all of them walk in the freedom and abundance of Christ. May He shine His light through a secure me!

    2) I believe that I can “start becoming part of the solution in female relationships rather than defaulting into part of the problem” by “fixing my eyes on Jesus”, and in turn asking Him to “give me His eyes” that I might see others and myself through His gaze of love, wisdom, and tenderness.

    3) My passion has always been to serve the Lord through the gifts and talents He has given me to make a difference for His kingdom. I have always loved people and want to encourage them toward faith, or in their faith. I feel most fully alive when I am singing His praises, or sharing from my heart and His Word about my own journey with God. I get such a kick out of finding some great nugget of truth tucked in a passage I’ve read before or never read before, and then I just want to share it. Unfortunately, I get very little opportunity because of my current life circumstances. God’s blessings to all the siestas!

  13. 263
    HisJules says:

    1. I have two daughters who are in their twenties whom I have helped aid in their insecurity. I have repented and as I ask for their forgiveness, I will be handing each of them their own copy of this book with a printed copy of our blog discussions. I have a niece who is four and I will strive through the years as she is growing up to teach her that she is”clothed with strength and dignity” and that as long as she is pleasing to God – she can be secure in who He created her to be.

    2. I pray that I am encourager to the women around me. I also pray that God would put a guard over my mouth that I would not say one thing that would plant seeds of doubt or envy in others. I am determined to let Christ shine through me in such a way that I would be able to minister to others who have been under bondage to insecurity.

    3. My passion is to be used to plant the Word in others. I currently teach a class of ladies in our church, and my most fervent prayer is to be used to not only teach but to plant a desire in each of them to want to study God’s Word to its fullest. To KNOW HIM and KNOW HIM Fully. 12 years ago this desire was planted in me through a LPM bible study and I want to be able to pay this JOY forward by giving others the gift that was shared with me.

  14. 264
    Sarah Eccles says:

    40 years old
    BC, Canada

    1. I would like to be secure and live more abundantly in Christ for my 2 stepdaughters Allyssah 14 and Misha 16. It is so hard to be young and grow up in this world. They feel the pressures of growing up so much. They have a hard time as they are both very tall for their ages so a lot is expected of them. So many pressures and so much them wanting to be more grown up. I pray with me working through my issues that I can help them.

    2. I am so prepared now to build healthy relationships with women, to try and help them with their struggles and be an encouragement to them not being prideful and lashing when when insecure. That was the old me the new me is way more humble.

    3. My passion in life is for my husband and I to run our own non-profit youth ranch. Last year we went to a ranch in Oregon and learned exactly how to do that. Check out Crystal Peaks Youth Ranch to see what I’m talking about. It is about us rescuing horses and training them and pairing them up with children who have no trust in their lives, been neglected, abused, come from broken homes giving them a chance to learn about the Lord and for God to start healing their broken hearts and lives. It is so amazing that an animal who has suffered similar can be that bridge a child needs. Healing begins. Our hearts are for all the brokenhearted to be healed.

    Blessings Sarah

  15. 265
    Chantel says:

    1) My 11 year old niece has had to deal with way too many family issues, and I’m sure I don’t even know half of what she’s seen or gone through. She lives in another state, so we don’t see each other that often, but I know that God is always walking right beside her.
    2) Stop judging women by their appearance.
    3) I want to do mission work, and would also like to be, I guess you’d say, a Christian counselor.

    Denham Springs, Louisiana

  16. 266
    susan says:

    long island,NY

    1) I would say my daughters are worth doing what it takes to live abundantly in Crist. I have two daughters that are very different from one another. One is insecure (like me!) so I can be an example of living abundantly in Crist to her and one is very headstrong and independent. She is not needing the lord at times and doing many things on her own merit. I can be an example of depending on the lord to her and showing her how to tune into god by prayer ad partnering with god for even furthur sucess a d quietness of heart and soul.

    2)I think the word is grace. When I show grace to other women it will enable women to be who they are with me and not what society wants them to be. It starts with not judging but being graceful.

    3)My passion would be helping others get to know the lord better especially women with emotioional issues(and insecurity).I can do this in everyday life,at church,biblestudies,etc.

    give them the grace

  17. 267

    1. I don’t have granddaughters yet so those young women closest to me would be my two daughters — and they are absolutely worth doing what it takes to live abundantly and effectively in Christ.

    2. I need to stop comparing and competing and be genuinely happy for others’ success rather than thinking of how it makes me feel about myself and whatever success I may or may not have achieved.

    3. I have a few passions, but my main passion is using my written words (and my life) to refresh and encourage others, to point them to Christ. The tagline I use for myself as a writer is “Refreshing Spirits, Nourishing Souls” — that about sums it up.


  18. 268
    Shelley G says:

    Shelley G
    Lakeland, Florida

    Question 1

    My neices are who I want to be a role model for. I want them to see that being a Christian woman is a positve thing and that it is ok to be different and not a follower of the World.

    Question 2

    This is very though provoking because I feel that I do not intentionally demean or threaten other woman. I dress very conservatively, I am quiet by nature, I don’t think that I am threatening in body shape or face and/or hair areas. I think that at this moment I need to pray about this area in my life to make sure that I am not doing anything to contribute to this. I may even ask my friends if there is anything that I do or say that makes them feel threatened.

    Question 3

    My passion is cancer as my husband is a cancer survivor so if there is any involvement locally I am involved.

    However, my personal passion is anxiety and depression as I have lived with it all my life. I have often sensed God calling me to make myself available to others who suffer with these illnesses. I never seem to be ready to take this on because it is so important to me and to the people who have the illnesses I do not want to do any harm to people or steer them in a “wrong” direction. God had delivered me from anxiety and depression in the past and due to life circumstances they have returned during this period in my life. I do know that God never gives you more than you can handle and everytime he delivers me through a hard time I am so much stronger and have grown so much deeper in my faith. So with that said, I know God will lead me to my passion in His time and I am actively waiting to hear from Him.

  19. 269
    Rhonda says:

    Dear Beth,

    I so praise God for raising up servants such as yourself to help us walk this dusty road……thanks!!

    There is so much in these chapters, so for now I’ll only touch on the highlights for me.

    #1. The first people that come to mind are my 3 precious daughters as well as my 2 precious sons. They all need to experience a “strong…..standing on the Solid Rock of Christ” mama! I do believe it is contagious, and most of us still live in the same house….I hope it catches big time : ) I also think of future daughter-in-laws……….and my dear man comes to mind as well……the list could go on……

    #2. There were so many area here, I’ll just touch on the “personalizing” those who I might otherwise be envious of. This has been huge for me, as some people seem to have so much, I can’t ever imagine any insecurity. Yet as I look them in the eye, and speak about the things that really matter, the other feelings fade and I’m grateful to be a women of dignity standing with Jesus. There have been many thoughts traveling through my head since reading this chapter, suffice to say……you said it well Beth and God is using your words again : )

    #3. Someone mentioned their passion being a “cheerleader”…….I thought about that and as I believe my main gifting lies in the realm of encourager, I liked the thought of being a lifelong cheerleader to those God places in my life. This of course will take on different expressions. For now I’m content to be a wife/mother/home-schooling mom of 5……[one has already flown the nest], as this world is a jungle to walk through, so encouragement is always welcome!

    Blessings…….I would love to share a cup of coffee and hear your heart on so many issues……….your heart for Jesus shines above all….Thank you dear!!

    Rhonda – 46
    Married/27 yrs

  20. 270
    FloridaLizzie says:

    These were very thought-provoking chapters! I made little signs to greet me in my closet to remind me that I am clothed with strength and dignity, I have this treasure in me, and that I am God’s lovely dwelling place. That should help me get a reality check when I start fretting I have nothing to wear!

    I can’t believe what a difference this book has made in my outlook. I didn’t expect it to be so profound or effective, and I am recommending it to everyone. As for the 3 questions:

    1. I don’t have a daughter or daughter-in-law yet, but I do have a lot of sisters in Christ. This book has helped me recognize how much they are struggling with insecurity, and it doesn’t matter how beautiful or talented they are. At this point, I just want to help others feel secure in Christ, whether they know Him now, or need to find Him. I kind of feel like my husband needs me to be secure for his sake.

    2. To be really honest, I don’t think making other women feel insecure is a problem for me. Never have I realized what a blessing it is to be so ordinary that I have very little that other women feel threatened by! God has blessed me with many sweet and healthy friendships, and helped me escape the toxic ones years ago. Somehow I could see the many ideas about comparing, depersonalizing, and tripping others’ insecurity switch as things God really got through to me on in years past. Other chapters covered new territory for me, but somehow God has taught me those things on His own. So I think God is asking me to become an example of a woman who truly has found security in Christ. And that is so different from the concept of having a great self-esteem or pride.

    3. What is my passion? For whatever reason, I simply don’t know! I love God’s Word and I love helping others grow in Christ. I spent a lot of time writing after homeschooling for 13 years and working for a while. But I really seem to be in some kind of mid-life crossroads. The chapter truly provoked a lot of soul-searching, as I do feel like for some reason I just haven’t found my passion. So I am praying for God to reveal to me what my passion in life is. I would appreciate prayer to know what the Lord is calling me to at this stage of life. I want to look past my self-absorbed and superficial concerns and find what God put me on earth to do.

  21. 271
    Julie Anne says:

    Ughh! I am soo behind I am just starting ch 14! but I will catch up and I will finish! I am focusing on being clothed with strength and dignity today!!

    30s married
    Clarks Summit, PA

  22. 272
    MamaJack10 says:

    1-someone I want to be a good example for is my daughter. She was very ill as a baby with numerous surgeries in just the past few years of her preteen age. I remind her daily of how much God loves her and has a plan for her. She can be courageous in Him and He will work out all her issues for good. . .as I tell her I am reminded and in doing this bible study I know I have a good plan ahead to really show her a consistent thankful mom that looks to God for all her needs. My daughter inspires me and I am amazed at her trust in Him with no regrets. She sure keeps me in check.
    2-Over the years of my daughter’s illness our family has lost many friendships and I have found that those you least expect to stand by you do and those you have spend most of your time with leave first. From this I have invested in 5 good friends to which I keep extra touch and as a big day approaches in my life I have decided to invite those women with a few more for a celebration. We have turned our times of sharing about life into more encouragement equipping times. We remind ourselves from our past experiences of God’s faithfulness and our support of each other even though we sometimes did not agree. I believe that my daughter seeing this and knowing marriage,friends and basically any good relationship takes time and love with forgiveness at all times just like she does her little brother. Let God keep track to free you to count your blessings. Over this she has remained very compassionate for others even when she could not see their need.
    3-I have worked in church most of my life from teaching s/s classes for children, youth and children’s choir to singing and performing w/my flute but I really enjoy serving others especially during difficult times and formed a crisis ministry at my church. I have stepped aside for ‘there is a time for everything’ and now as we search for a church I am excited to see where God wants me to serve. I have a passion for hurting people wanting to meet a immediate need for them. For we comfort those to whom we found comfort. It is so exciting for our family to give back because we even in our trial have received so much.

  23. 273
    Karen says:

    Week 8

    1) The person who inspires me to deal with my insecurities the most is my daughter. She has so many insecurities. I believe if she sees me overcome mine, it will inspire her to change also. I am trying…………………

    2) I must overcome my insecurities!! I must set a good example for others. I am always reminding my daughter that “actions speak louder than words” and “seeing is believing”!

    3) My passion right now is to be the woman God has designed me to be so that I can make a big difference in the lives of my family and the people I come in contact with every day.


  24. 274
    Tricia says:


    1. I would like to get rid of my insecurities and live abundantly for Christ for my daughter, Jasmine, who is currently 4 years old. I want her to see that through Christ and with Christ all things are possible and that He made her just the way she is so when she gets older (pre-teen, teenager, early 20’s) she will not have the “stuff” that a lot of us have/had. I want her to grow up to be a Godly woman, secure in Christ.

    2. I had read the chapters prior to this past weekend and then we got together with some friends on Easter Sunday. These friends are not saved but it struck me hard when they started gossiping and putting down someone that I don’t even know but the first thing that came to my mind was the book and how I had read to not give in and add to other women’s insecurities. I did not join in the conversation. I hope to be part of the solution in other female relationships by being an encourager and not a gossip or someone who puts down others.

    3. I am not sure of my passion right now. I have 3 young children under 5 so right now they are my work/passion. I would hope the Lord shows me His passion for me and that I willing follow Him in that when He shows His timing.

    I don’t comment much on the blog but just wanted to say thank you for all you and your staff do. May the Lord bless you as He has blessed me through your ministry.

  25. 275
    lopsidedhalo says:

    1. My inspiration is a 9 year old girl in Afghanistan named Khalida. She was sold as a child “loan bride” to a 45 year old drug trafficker as repayment for a loan her father could not pay…the government ruled the father reimburse the trafficker by giving Khalida to him in marriage. Her family waits every day for this man to come and take her away. She wanted to be a teacher when she grew up….but this is her fate now….unless we become her voice!!

    2. I will stop people pleasing….and start speaking the truth in love….even if it means someone might get mad/angry at me. Sometimes we girls just need to STOP IT….and it takes someone being honest with us even if it means we might not like them for moment!

    3. My passion is to re-abolish slavery….aka Human Trafficking! I want to live my life so that others can be free! I want to help rescue and restore victims of human trafficking!

  26. 276
    sister sheri says:

    1. Middle school girls… including my future daughter-in-law. My son is entering middle school next year and so I will have the opportunity to be around middle school girls at church and school. One of these precious girls could end up being his wife. Wouldn’t I want someone to pour into the life of my darling daughter-in-law to be?

    2. Just this week I handed a dear friend a one-way ticket to insecurity. I asked her (due to my insecurity) why she hadn’t contacted me in the last week… after seeing her expression… I said, “just kidding!” I have determined to stop “kidding” around! (stop by blog for more details)

    3. Just went through a SHAPE class last fall. Spiritual gifts, Heart, Abilities, Personality, and Experiences. My passion is WOMEN! Especially Christian women who are in an un-abundant life. I am passionate about mentoring them to live their lives fully for Christ so that they will pour their lives into their families, churches, communities and God-given ministries. I have recently started learning Hebrew to help with my studying… so thoroughly enjoying it!

  27. 277
    Sparki2003 says:


    My dear Miss Beth, it may be easy for you to say reading 3 chapters this week should be “easy” . . . That is because I haven’t even finished Chapter 11 yet, and have not had any time to even think about answering any of your wonderful blog study questions – Help ! But, it is great reading, and I am still learning a lot from it; praise God ! I guess I must just be one of those readers who tend to want to let the material really ‘sink in’ before going on to anything else, especially with Bible study stuff, like this …….

    In Christ’s Love,

    Jennifer O.
    Southern Wisconsin

  28. 278
    Ann says:

    1. One of my reasons for dealing with insecurity from the beginning of this study has been for our kids. I see them having some of the same issues that I do, and don’t want to perpetuate insecurity anymore. One example that comes to mind, is my reluctance to pick up the phone to call people — I’d really rather not ‘bother’ people, and feel more comfortable e-mailing. This probably stems from a one month job that I had that was essentially telephone sales — not a good fit for me. I see this same trait exaggerated in my girls — no idea why. They’re fine if somebody calls them, they just don’t enjoy initiating phone calls. If our adoption(s) ever become reality, I want to be able to help them with their own issues with insecurity as well. There probably aren’t many things as inherently able to make us insecure as having been separated from our birth family.

    2. Since I know that we all have issues with appearance; to avoid wearing things that might bother the people I’ll be around. Not to depersonalize others, they’re not ‘the competition’, they’re persons. Lay down our weapons, and pray for the people we’re threatened by. I LOVED the makeup artist story, “But I have this treasure!!” 2 Corin. 4:6-7 Another verse to memorize and to live by! I have Christ’s Holy Spirit living in me — I don’t have to act like the rest of the world without Christ!

    3. I’m not sure that this is my ‘passion’, but it’s definitely a place God has tendered my heart. It hurts me to see what the world is doing to children. David told me to stop watching the news after Katie was born, because I would cry whenever I saw the reports of child abuse, etc. It was years later, before I realized that he didn’t want me to avoid the news forever 🙂

  29. 279
    mommathieszen says:

    Goshen, IN

    1) Her name is Lily Mae. She is my daughter…my first born and my only girl out of three children. She is a 3 1/2 year old bundle of spunky energy, big brown eyes, a smile that would melt your heart, and a sensitive spirit. She is simply beautiful. She is and literally always has been a motherly soul who will one day be such an incredible mother herself. The name Lily means “purity” and although I have seen the blessings of picking this name for her in other areas redeemed in my and even my husband’s lives, it becomes all anew again as I see a desperate need for her to be PURE in her thoughts of herself. At 3 1/2 Lily already knows how to smile and laugh at what makes her happy no matter what others think…she unfortunately also already knows how to hang her head in disbelief when her daddy or I tell her how beautiful she is. “How did she learn this already?” was the line I found myself repeating over and over in my head when I saw her insecurities surface. How can I NOT conquer this battle myself when I have that adorable little face looking at mine for direction? Lily Mae IS WORTH fighting for!

    2) I have recently started “inboxing” my church friends on face book a question of depth that I’ve always felt alone in. My hopes is that discussions and findings will arise that I (nor any of us) are in this journey of life alone. With a larger church and not much time on a Sunday morning to actually have any discussions of depth, my hope is that this will be a way to get those much needed connections to happen to the women in my own church body. I desperately want to encourage them, build them up, cry with them, question them, and celebrate with them…and I desperately want the same from them. So far, I’m being blown away at the doors God is opening through this little effort!

    3) My deepest passion for sure is really stated in the above answer. I just want to BE REAL with other women God puts in my pathway and I want them to be real with me. In doing so, I know we will see each other as fellow sojourners who have all been through the same emotions, questions, fears, and miracles just in different ways. I want us all to realize that we don’t have to go through this world alone–that we weren’t meant to–and that as we are real with one another, we will see that we are so much more alike than we ever thought possible.

  30. 280
    Sarah M says:

    Sarah, 20s, Single, PSJ, FL

    1) My two beautiful nieces are worth doing what it takes to live abundantly and effectively for Christ! I see their youthful (3, almost 4, and 2 years old) innocence and want to see it remain for many years! Harmony (3) is a darling little curly haired red head (and yes, she has a bit of the fiest to match). Hallie (2) is my care-free girl with big brown eyes (I may be to blame for her nickname -bug.) They offer such excitement any time I’m around because all they know right now is good. They don’t know that the thief has come to steal, kill and destroy. I hope to beat him to the punch and teach them first of all that Christ has come to give life – abundantly (and securely)!

    2) Start personalizing women! Such a concept backed by scripture! I am guilty of depersonalizing. It must stop. I must also be a woman who is an example of security. As a Children’s Ministry Director, I stand before so many of our future young women. If I stand secure…and they see me stand secure, they may stand secure as well! I MUST do it for them!

    3) My passion is impacting lives. I don’t know how God is going to ultimately use me to do it, but I’ve seen Him growing the passion throughout the previous years. I started out in 2000 working with youth. Never thought I would leave them (not that I have). In 2006, He shifted me to Children where I never thought I would make it for long…and I love it more and more each week! In 2008 He also opened the door for me to work alongside the Women’s Ministry as well. All three ministries have opened doors for me to impact lives I would have never been able to do had I not been obedient to where He was leading me. So my plan is to pursue obedience. Through that, I know that God will grow my passion.

  31. 281

    I guess I need to go out and buy this book pronto! Right now I am doing the Breaking Free book study, but I now know what is next. Even though I have not read the book I wanted to comment. Number 3 really excited me. What is my passion? Well, one that fits right along with this study is my desire to show others their beauty through the eyes of their Creator instead of the world. This passion stems from my experience with anorexia. I may never fully grasp why I went through it, but this I do know…it was not to be a wasted experience. The verse in 2 Cor. 1 about comforting those with the comfort you yourself has received, this has allowed me to see that God does not waste anything in our lives. Good or “bad”, it can be used for the glory of God. Not only have my lowest moments been used help others, but I am able to go into schools and groups and educate on this very thing. Praise the Lord that He saw fit to bring me from the brink of death to complete freedom, and not only that, but use the very worst to be an example. Just this year I saw God leading me to start blogging on the things that He has taught me, and is still teaching me, on this very subject. My prayer is that lives can be touched through the words that are written. Thanks so much for taking time to blog, and write words to encourage others. My blog is

  32. 282

    Ok, I am getting so excited that I have STUCK with this ‘study’ on line and completed my assignements and this one — is just under the wire.

    1. This is a cool format — being able to respond to others rather quickly and read the other posts — powerful.

    2. I am most thankful to our Lord as HE speaks loudly through the women here!

    OK — now the assignment:

    Chapter 14 — I want to live abundantly for my nieces that are very young but right now, I want to show how Christ is my Lord and how HE heals and be that example for my mother. After years of verbal and physical abuse, she has sought out and totally gotten into the NEW AGE movement and has some firm beliefs. She is very talented and ‘strong’ in her new found beliefs. She does not believe in hell, that Jesus was a good teacher and master — but he was not our Savior and she also believes that — well, there is just a lot. So, I want to be an effective witness of Christ’s identity. And, my ‘little or younger’ sister of 19 years — has just gone through a very rough few years and now is going to be a single mom and wants to live for God. I want to be an example for her!

    Chapter 15 Oh – I so want to ‘get over myself’ and watch carefully what I say in my friendships and really learn or memorize who I am in Christ so I can share that – boldly. I teach 4th grade girls and already, this book has changed how I look and repond to my students in a public school.

    Chapter 16 — My passion — I want to be used of HIM. I want to write and maybe be published but more often – I just wish and want to encourage people. I so wish to be in some sort of ministry — I have done the Children’s Church thing and youth and I KNOW I minister to my students in school. I can get away with a lot in my ‘public’ school but I want to be USED of HIM. I want to be able to encourage, stand up for HIM and just do what God wants me to do. Sharing my heart — and encouraging, I am ‘facilitating’ a bible study in my public school classroom — starting next Monday!! I want to mentor and felt a calling to ‘share’ with a few of the ‘newer’ teachers on our staff — and I am excited about that. That is my passion!

    Thank you again, my ticket is purchased for the April 24th Simulcast!! I can’t wait!

    Okeechobee, Florida

  33. 283
    *Lindsay* says:

    Bangor, Maine

    1. The wonderful, vivacious ladies that attend our Church and our women’s ministry. As a leader in women’s ministry, I don’t want my insecurities to hurt them or hinder what God can do through me to bless them. Seeing them grow in Christ is worth the pain of owning up to and ridding myself of senseless insecurities.

    2. Unfortunately, it’s easy for me to judge others — to depersonalize someone into a simple label or pre-conceived notion. From this point forward, I’m going to make a conscious effort to STOP doing this! Each woman I encounter is a princess that God adores. I want to start viewing myself AND others the way God sees them with confidence.

    3. My passion is seeing new believers or complacent believers grow in their relationship with God. I love watching ladies fall passionately in love with Christ! I want God to use me more and more to bring others to him — to help them understand how amazing and thrilling and invigorating an intimate relationship with Christ is. I was a luke-warm, disinterested Church-goer my entire life. I knew the answers, but I lacked the passion for God. Throughout the past 5 years, I’ve grown in God so much, and I can’t fathom life without His guidance and love. I want every lady to know this and more! I want to see ladies have the same encounter with Christ and fall head over heels in love with their Creator.

  34. 284
    Kimberly says:

    Married with kids

    1) My stepdaughter (just daughter, as far as I’m concerned) is the person I hope to be able to pass security along to. She is now 12 years old. I have been in her life since right before her 5th birthday. I have been raising her along with her father since then. Her mother was initially in the picture, calling and visiting some, but, unfortunately, had so many issues herself, my daughter had already developed many insecurities, even that early in her life. When my daughter was 7, her mother was tragically killed in a car accident. Needless to say, my daughter’s insecurities only skyrocketed at that point. She learned much earlier than most that there are no guarantees in life. She is a wonderful child but has so many problems rooted in insecurity, not the least of which is major jealousy issues. She needs the security that only God can give so desperately. I realized much earlier in this book, that if I ever wanted to have hope of helping her obtain that security, I have to live it first. I do pray I am making more of an impact in her life than it feels sometimes, and I realize that if I actually want to make that kind of impact, I want to have the Security she needs to have for me to model.
    2) Since my daughter is the one I choose to be worth doing this for, my answers to this question will both have to do with her. I will become an example of a secure woman to model security for her. I also will make deliberate effort not to trip her insecurity switch in certain areas where I know they are sensitive. Just to be clear, I would never trip her switch on purpose but there are times where my needs because of my insecurity conflict with her needs because of her insecurity, and in those times, I am going to vow that from now on, her needs will go first so that her switch is not tripped, especially since our needs should no longer conflict if I have actually dealt with my insecurity first. Hopefully this will model a great example of security that before long she will be able to achieve as well so that this area will no longer be a problem at all.
    3) I also have a 5 year old son. My passion truly is passing Christ to my children. Some people may want to see Niagra Falls before they die; others may just want to leave behind a fortune. I honestly will feel my life was worthwhile if I leave this world knowing that my children have their own passion for living for God. I want them not only to know Him, but to love Him, to have a passion for living for Him and for doing His work. I want them to know His love and security and be able to live their lives with His joy, and to spread it! My passion is wholeheartedly for my children to have an overwhelming and burning passion for Christ and His work. It is the one thing where I feel that failure is not an option in my life. I proclaim God’s promises! Please God, save my children!!

  35. 285
    April says:

    1. I have four someones who are worth learning to live securely. (I can’t just pick ONE of my four daughters!) The first is a beautiful, talented pre-teen who already has more insecurity than she knows what to do with! I want to be her example of security. Numbers two and three are my young elementary twins. They are beautiful, joyous, and secure, and I want them to stay that way. And my fourth is my precious middle daughter. No wonder she’s already so insecure – she’s sandwiched between an amazing older sister and adorable twins! I want so want her to know how valuable she is!!

    2. I need to stop making comparisons with other women!! When I do, I always come up short in my mind, and my interactions with them are based on my insecurity. That’s no way to build relationships and encourage others to be secure women!

    3. The past couple of years I’ve really felt a desire to help mothers and daughters grow together in God’s Word. I want to encourage women to study the Word with their daughters instead of just letting church do all the Biblical teaching. I don’t know if it’s my passion, but I sure feel passionate about it.

  36. 286
    AmyJo says:

    1) My inspiration is my 16 year old niece, Adrienne, who has always had a special place in my heart; but even more so as she grows into a beautiful young woman. She and I grew even closer when we had similar bicycling accidents within 3 weeks of each other, resulting in multiple surgeries for each of us. She had come to take care of me, before she headed to Europe with family friends, and came back with a broken leg. That summer of healing showed us both how strong we were and built some character! Since then, we’ve been able to share our resulting fears with each other and both overcame them a bit by skiing last Christmas.

    I so wish I could share with her the many mistakes I’ve made in my life, to help her avoid the same heartaches, regrets, and pains. I want to be a good example of the Christian life for her in the formative years when, looking back, I wish I had known what having a relationship with Jesus truly means. I want to be that person that she trusts and respects to give her advice and perspective, when she needs it most. In order to be that person, I need to be a secure, stable, strong Christian woman that she can turn to.

    2) Stop Making Comparisons: “We don’t have to subtract value from ourselves to give credit to someone else” – I’ve always said that it doesn’t take away from your own happiness to be happy for someone else. So along those same lines, I feel like one way I can stop making comparisons, is simply complimenting another woman (who I might feel insecure around). I know how it makes me feel to receive a completely unexpected compliment from another woman (that I might feel insecure around), so why not pay that forward? Plus, when you are looking for something to compliment others on, the focus is not on you and how you “measure up”, but rather on the other person and how you can “build them up”!

    Start Personalizing Other Women: This is another one that really spoke to me. Rather than make false assumptions about someone based on how they look or things I have heard about them, I am going to try to get to know them. I can think of plenty of times I’ve had preconceived ideas about someone and then look back after becoming friends with them and realize how far off I was in my initial assessment. If I don’t have the opportunity to get to know them, I can at least give them the benefit of the doubt – and assume that they are just like the rest of us – a bit insecure!

    Don’t Trip Another Woman’s Insecurity Switch: This book has made me aware of other possible insecurity triggers. When I am in a situation where I can sense another woman’s insecurities, I am going to go out of my way to reassure her or at least not try to “compete” with her.

    3) I’m not sure I can put a name to it – I guess it would be helping other people. I feel most passionate about being there for others (family and friends) when they need me most. I haven’t figured out yet what that could mean in the future (in a formalized sense), I just know how energized and purposeful I feel when I know I’m helping someone who needed just a little love and care at that very moment – I feel that God has put me in the right relationship at precisely the right moment – whether it’s a simple phone call, visit, lunch, or even e-mail. My friendships have also been an avenue for sharing my faith, which I also see as part of God’s plan for the “greater good”.

    My other “soft spot” is doing things for senior citizens – listening to their wisdom (making them feel valued), going out of my way to help them (making them feel respected), or doing something to make them feel loved (Christmas gifts to nursing homes). That is probably where I would spend volunteer hours, if I didn’t work full-time. Thanks for making me really think through what I’m passionate about – gives me something to not just think about – but actually do!

  37. 287
    Traci says:

    1. My daughter, Katelynn (almost age 13).
    2. I have been deliberately building up the women I work with. I’m refusing to fall into the enemies’ ways of diminishing their worth – not anymore!!
    3. I feel alive when I write. I’m passionate about women being in God’s Word. I also love to design artwork that inspires others, especially with God’s Word.

    God can use everything as an opportunity to minister to others. Recently, after being diagnosed with Stage III Breast Cancer, I’ve been blogging my journey. It originally started just to keep family and friends informed. It has become a way to encourage other women through their journeys as well. God has been in the midst and I want others to see what He has done, and the peace He has given me during this difficult time. I can celebrate and give Him the glory that after the darkest and hardest days I could ever imagine – I’m CANCER FREE! PRAISE HIM!!

    Traci, 43, Married – Corona, CA

  38. 288
    Julie in Idaho says:

    First off, three chapters in 6 days was brutal! No matter how rushed I felt through the homework questions, the answers are from my heart, so here we go:

    1) I have a young girl in my community that is 12 going on 13. She is the most beautiful, vibrant, and full of life person I know. She radiates love, tenderness, hope, and trust. She is very tall for her age (greater than my 5’7″, but not quite 6′ tall). Like me, she hit a size 12 once in her life on the way up to what is now probably a size 14 or 16. I pray that she stays the same innocent, vibrant, happy person she is now, but I absolutely fear she will go through life feeling fat and not beautiful. I fear that our society will convince her, through magazines, television, newspapers, etc, that she is not beautiful or worthy of good things in life because she is a bigger size than society’s idea of a role model.

    a) Be an encouragement to others.
    b) Realize that not all confident looking women are secure. We all have insecurities.
    c) Do not let my imagination run away with me. Instead of wondering “what was that supposed to mean?”, I will just take what other women say at face value. After all, women can be mean sometimes and they will tell you what they really think if they believe that being blunt with you is the only way to be heard and understood.

    3) This question hit very close to home for me this week. I have always felt passionate in life about taking care of God’s creatures. Any animal, large or small, could be adopted as a new pet or patient in my makeshift animal hospital. However, through Melissa’s Compassion Intl trip (last year?) and her blog updates, my heart’s desire has never been stronger. I long to be part of the Compassion Intl organization and be part of God’s work in the lives of so many underpriveleged children and parents in our world. Although my husband and I have sponsored two wonderful children, I long to use my skills to serve that organization more. I will continue to pray that God will open a door if that is His will. Oh, how it thrills my soul to think that He might use me that way someday!

    Already feeling sad that our study is almost over….

    Central Idaho

  39. 289
    Emily says:

    To be a part of the solution, I’m not going to do the comparison thing anymore. Comparing myself with others doesn’t do me or them any good. By not making those comparisons, I can be more myself around other women and invite them to do the same around me.

    I have a passion for scripture and sharing it with others. The verse in Deuteronomy 8:3 that says “man does not live on bread alone but on every word that comes from the mouth of the Lord” has really come alive to me over the past several years. As I’ve become more diligent about getting into the Word on a daily basis, I feel God right there taking me by the hand and walking with me down the path that leads home. I want everyone to experience the Word of God. An opportunity that God has given me to share His Word is a missions trip to Jamaica that I will be going on this summer with a group from my church. We will be helping with Vacation Bible School at a couple of local churches there. This will be my first time traveling outside of the U.S., and I’m a little nervous but I’m trusting God that He will work out everything for His glory.

    Topeka, KS

  40. 290
    Sarah B says:

    1) My inspiration is my baby boy (yes I know that he’s not a girl). I want to be the kind of mom that is clothed in strength and dignity. I want to be a good example of a secure woman of God so that he will be able to recognize it in a woman when he starts dating/looking for someone to marry. I also want to be an encouragement to the little girls at my church, although I’ve not had much of an opportunity to get to know them yet since we are new to the area.

    2)My prayer is that I can start seeing the women in my life the way God sees them. Even more than that, I pray for the courage to speak an encouraging word to them – something with more depth than my usual “those are really cute shoes.” Instead of letting myself get discouraged because I feel “inferior” in some way, I want to be able to thank God for blessing that woman in that particular area. I think it would help me get my priorities straight and help me not view her as a rival, but as a fellow heir in Christ Jesus – after all, it was God who gave her the long legs and perfect complexion I was jealous of.

    3)I’m still working on my passion. I’m not sure that I’ve completely discovered it yet. There are things I enjoy doing, but no soul-burning, all-consuming desire. A few years ago I had a huge passion for writing. I attended conferences and started writing a novel. Since then, I’ve gotten married and had a child. Needless to say, that passion has been put on the back burner. I need to find some sort of service to be involved in that takes my focus off of myself and puts it on others. Lots of time wallowing in self-pity = a person who is no fun to be around.

  41. 291
    moosemama says:

    #1. Who is worth what it takes….My daughters. Sarah is quiet and sweet, 21 years old and will be married 2 years next month. Emily is 12 and so dear to my heart, because was a miracle child to us. I want them to not only catch on fire for Christ, but to live the abundant life He intended them to live, free from the bondage of insecurity. I want them to be able to look at me and catch a glimpse of how that is done!!

    #2. How do I become part of the solution…Your goose story got to me! On pg. 289 you say …”only insecure people enjoying tripping another person’s insecurity switch”. I’m going to stop de-personalizing other women, just so I can feel better about me. Lord help me, I have been a part of this scheme of Satan’s!

    #3. What is my passion…I love teaching women and I LOVE encouraging them in their walk with Christ. I currently teach 4th & 5th graders in Sunday School. I am teaching through Me, Myself and Lies to a mid-week group of women right now. I am so excited when they say things that show me how deeply they are committed to changing what they say and thus how they act and feel toward themselves and others. And can I just say, your book is the PERFECT companion read for them with that study. I’m using both books in the weekly lessons.


    Sheridan Wyoming



  42. 292
    Diane says:

    1) My daughter and son need to see me walk what I tell them: “God is bigger than our fears” and that God will help them obey and do hard stuff. My daughter is very impressionable I know she’s watching and I need to show her a good path NOT the family cycle I’ve been sucked into. To SHOW that there is Victory in Christ in this earthly life.
    2)whew this is tough. I need to change my thoughts toward other women. Not comparing them, not looking down on myself or disliking them for their God given gifts. To listen to them, and allow God to speak through me. How do I respond to gossip in a way that diffuses w/o being a snob? All seem a tall challenge!!
    3) My passion…
    I’ve seen enough conflict to make me sick– possibly literally. My husband I went through training in peacemaking only to feel put on hold. I don’t know what God had planned but we both have recently had God confirm that it IS where He wants us. Walking into conflict in any way is scarey not to mention as a mediator or conflict coach. Shaking in my boots and praying I’ll not fail/screw up when God shows the next step.
    I also love teaching/aid ing preschoolers and have rediscovered that love of it outside raising my own precious children. Telling little ones about Jesus, helping them work out life issues. watching them learn. A blessing and joy, how great it would be if we kept short accounts like they do!
    30’s married

    • 292.1
      Diane says:

      Another thought on questions 2&3: In this current culture that our importance is defined by the ‘important’work we can do and if you’re driven to higher education/training you are to be more respected. Our Savour took up the wash basin and towel. He took on the menial task of providing food. Those who feel belittled because their great service and passion to the LORD is cleaning, cooking, babysitting, even getting up early to pray and millions of other behind the scenes tasks are just as important in GOD’s eyes.
      So my real goal for question#2 is to look at my sisters and ask and tell myself, “she is valuable to God. Now what is her task of service to God and how can I encourage her?” And is some cases ‘how can I encourage and not trip my own insecurity?!’ 😛
      After all if no one cleaned the bathroom or gave us clean dishes to eat from or taught the WORD, where would we all be?? ~Diane

  43. 293
    Cassie says:

    1)For all who know me that they would see a security only found through Christ. To be a testimony to the lost off how to be set free.
    2)To be able to not measure myself up to other women, but to be an encourager and to push past the thoughts of what are they thinking and trying to change things that are out of my control due to my insecurities.
    3)My passion would be to one day have a half way home for young pregnaunt, abused, unloved women and to show them they are loved and desired.
    Bishop, Ca
    20’s married

  44. 294
    Tracy says:

    1. Our two beautiful daughters are my inspiration. They are filled with hope, promise, and hearts for Jesus. I pray I can continue to nurture that and help them become the secure women God intends them to be.

    2. To be a part of the solution, I can not feed into the negative conversations at work and at play. I can not only choose to not participate but also stand up to it.

    3. God has given me a heart for children. I teach kindgergarten in a Christian school and love, love my job! I long to start them out in the Word and help their parents in any way I can to raise strong leaders for Jesus. As a teacher and a mother of four, I know I do not have all of the answers-in fact most of the time I feel I don’t know a thing! What I do know is that my responsibility of shaping children’s lives brings me to my knees every single day (sometimes many times a day!) in order to open my heart to God’s guidance. And that is a great thing!


  45. 295
    Candice Eisenhauer says:

    1. I volunteer in a high school ministry at my church- I’ve got junior girls and my desire is to encourage them to be fully security in who the Lord has made and designed them to be. Its a difficult thing to do at any age- but just as they are so young and so many other things vie for their attention- my prayer is that Lord impresses His truth on them (and ME) now in such a mighty way.

    2. Stop comparisons with each other- Especially those in my mind…We do have FAR better things to do with our time. (Eph 5:26- Message) I loved that translation.

    3. I’ve always been drawn to the younger generation (and I realize I am also part of it)…my passion is encouraging others to get excited about their spiritual growth- specifically high school girls. To encourage them in knowing Jesus in a deeper way. I’ve always been drawn to those who grew up in the church. As someone who became a believer at age 8 and “knew” the right thing to do all her life- I think it can be easy to not push those girls, specifically, toward knowing Christ in a deeper way. We can think, well at least they aren’t doing this or that, so we let it be. I’ve thought that mediocrity is one of the devil’s biggest desires for Christians- especially those who have been believer’s since childhood- there can be a complacency that occurs and we need to fight it. I wonder these days, if a change is coming in how this plays out in my life- do I start looking for a more vocational ministry- or thinking about writing a devotional or something for teenagers- It is exciting being at a place where you have many things running through your mind- but also challenging- God is faithful to bring about his good purposes in HIS GOOD time- I pray I rest there till its time to move.

    I loved reading so many other comments of women committed to this generation. And, loved the diversity also- the body of believers…so amazing. Another reason not to compare ourselves…may we encourage each other in the sphere of influence and service he has placed us.

    Chicago, IL
    29, single

  46. 296
    faith (!) says:

    I am undergoing a season of enormous change in my life right now. My husband is changing jobs (post out or risk not making it through the blades of cost-cutting), and the job will be a 28day on/off rotation in Angola, halfway round the world. My baby is graduating high school. My mother in law’s increasing frailty has caused us to begin (messy, chaotic) preparation to move her here with us…to name just a few of the bigger changes! if ever a season were ripe for insecurity issues to surface…. it’s now, and boy, have they!
    Right in the middle of all of this my older daughter (I have a 23yr old son and 18 and 21 yr old girls) broke off a relationship with a Godly and loving boyfriend of longstanding who has been a part of our family and a huge part of why we felt safe with her living away at college (insecurity!)….Before I had time to grieve or even process that move… She replaced him with a non believer, an international student of Hindu culture. I lost it… I stayed in complete panic mode, and thought I was going to end up in the ER with a stroke any minute the entire weekend she was home, and she left hurt and determined to continue the relationship over the protests of her father and I, who urged at least backing up and waiting…. but my behavior only hurt any sensible cause.
    She said she’d read “Jesus Among Other Gods”, by Ravi Zacharias, so I went to purchase it for her, and found your book “So Long, Insecurity” on the shelf… picked it up kind of at random, for my baby daughter, who recently changed college-of-choice to a nearby school where she can commute because she doesn’t feel ready to leave home…
    Should have known! It wasn’t for her, it’s for me. Maybe as I learn this new thing, and I crave your prayers as I do, it will become contagious. Certainly I see insecurity in the relationships and struggles of my precious girls, but God and I have some serious business to do. I realized that the OVERREACTION, the ugly part of my behavior this weekend, was motivated not just from fear for her, which is warranted, and to be dealt with separately, but by my fear that “my” daughter, part of “my” family, in which I’ve always been “supermom” and everyone comes to me for advice, and to whom everyone at work assigns the tough kids… yeah.. her actions are threatening my image. I was so nauseated I nearly had to leave work…the ride home was dangerous, over the bridges in the swamp with makeup running in my eyes…
    Now I have to find the next steps to repair and apologize for my behavior, and restore relationship with the child I adore, and let God work in her and his life (without my hands in the mix)(I ate from the tree, too, in finding out all I could, and involved someone else in my spying….) I’m pretty sure I lost it bigger than ever, and I’m pretty sure I can’t even repair my old dignity, I need a whole new one! Yay! New Clothes!
    So thanks… God has used you to upset my little apple cart(or used you to show me which apple cart it is that was really upset!) and right now all I know for sure is, I’m going to beat this one! And HE is going to protect my precious Rachael, not me! I wanted to attend the simulcast the 24th, but that’s senior prom, and this is dress and make-up house, so it’s all day hairspray!
    I have this weekend, while camping with my husband as he does some historical preservation work, then we’re flying to Houston the first part of the week, to attend orientation for his new job.(two days in the wild, two days at the Hilton!)Anyway, at least I’ll have a while to be apart, and do some homework! I can’t live like this anymore.
    Please pray for restoration of my relationship with my daughter, on new, secure ground, and that we can all break away from the insecurity that I had never named, and had hidden so long and so well….And that I’ll discover my passion… I am quitting my full time job so that on his 28 days home we can be together, so I need something to do! I don’t want to fall into traps of idleness and lose my security again! I found it too hard this first time!
    thanks for being such a “big sister” (even though we’re nearly the same age!)
    in Christ, I love you. ~Faith

  47. 297
    Latoya says:

    1) My little sister is 14 years younger than I am. She is almost 10 and I already see insecurity in her – her nervousness and the sweet lack of inhibition. I’m moving back in with my parents in a few weeks until the end of the year and I want to pour into her life while I’m living there. I want to show her that she doesn’t have to wait until she’s 23 to be secure. I want to love on her and support her – be there as a secure woman in her life.

    2) I’m going to stop comparing myself to other women. I always find myself observing some particularly witty, clever, lovely or lively woman and thinking “She’s fabulous and I’m boring.” God used this chapter to shine a spot light on this area of my life. I don’t want to be a part of that “looking up side and down the other” crowd anymore. So lately I’ve been learning to love and celebrate other women without doing bad math and subtracting from who God made me.

    3) I love to write, ever since I was little I’ve always been scribbling somewhere about something. I love children and I work in children’s ministry and have gone to Africa and worked in an orphanage there. I want to do more mission work like that. I also love women-friends and the camaraderie that comes from being with women. I don’ t know how all those things are connected but that’s what I’m passionate about 🙂

  48. 298
    faith (!) says:

    I think my earlier comment may have sounded as if I have some prejudice against the young man in question… it isn’t that. It’s the “missionary dating” aspect of it, and the sudden escalation of the relationship….I am truly concerned, but not nearly so threatened as I was! I can now maybe sort out a threat to her from one to my reputation and security!!… thought I should clarify that!

  49. 299
    Nesha says:

    Mechanicsville, VA

    1) I am surrounded by boys: my 2 (8 & 12yrs), my 2 ‘adopted’ sons (4 & 12yrs), and their friends. This might sound crazy, but with my background of men, I am taking this role with all the boys’ life very seriously in order to raise them to be Christian men. It is a hard road for me with no Christian upbringing or male role models but God is showing me the way for them. Especially those that I know are not having a good example at home. I want them to be secure with who they are in their generation.

    2) For me, it would be to reach out more to others. I am the reserved quiet one in most groups. My girlfriends are wonderful and enjoy time with them but usually wait until one of them ask; now it is my turn to change things and be more out there with them.

    3) I really don’t have the resources to do what I feel passionate about, missions work. My husband tells me all the time that I am ministering to those boys that don’t have any positive example at home. We read Proverbs after dinner and if they are here, they participate with us. One of the boys stated to my oldest something to the effect of ‘You guys have family time, wow, we don’t even eat together.’ So sad to hear! That is why question #1 is important to me that my family can be an inspiration to other boys.

  50. 300
    Bertie says:

    As aunt to 3 nieces so tender
    I try to encourage their gender

    In feeling secure
    With remaining pure

    And a passion for humor to render


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