Hey, Sweet Things! I’m so happy to meet you over here on our new site! We really feel like we’ll be able to serve you more efficiently here on WordPress and appreciate you going to the extra trouble the transition takes. In no time at all, this will feel like home again to the community we call Siestaville: a spicy little respite in a chaotic world. We’ll have the benefit of more technical support and far fewer quirks (besides the 1300+ X 10 on last week’s post. A keeper forever. And don’t think I won’t tell on you. Speaking material for years to come).
I am writing your Thursday post from my back porch on this gorgeous Wednesday late afternoon. Houston has a reputation for a lot of things (good and bad) but few people accuse her of beauty. She gives it her best shot in the Spring, however. The azaleas are in full bloom and so are all my early roses. The lawn has turned green. The trees are budding. Staring across my small back yard I can count at least fourteen distinctive living colors. The temperature is perfect. The wind is blowing. I hear at least four different kinds of birds singing. Some of them are fussing because I’m out here and the feeders haven’t been filled since yesterday. They think this is IHOP.
Keith’s out and about. Star is dropping a yellow tennis ball at my feet and wearing a plaid bandana the color of Easter eggs. Curtis, Amanda, and the kids are on their way to Wednesday evening church where they’ll eat supper with friends there in our Fellowship Hall (do all churches have those?), then CJ will teach his class. Amanda will be his best student and biggest fan and Jackson and AB will go to their classes. Melissa is in Atlanta fighting with the clock on the countdown till the final form of her Thesis is due. By the time you’re reading this, it will be turned in. She will be exhausted but relieved. Colin will no doubt be ecstatic. God knew exactly what kind of man that young woman was going to need.
I have had my first real day off in several weeks. Hmmmmm. Maybe even three or more. That’s not the way we like to do it around here but it was largely unavoidable. The book tour (first time I’ve ever done one) pitched into the middle of the regular speaking/teaching calendar threw my schedule over the edge. I have said to the Lord several times, “If You’ll just get me till next Wednesday…” And He did. The tour is complete and I am getting to take a glorious deep breath. I did meet my LPM staff at Sweet Tomatoes on this day off, however, because, after all, they’re my best buddies. I’m so blessed to also like so many of the people I love. We’re all in town this weekend, of course, for Easter. I wouldn’t be away for anything. It would never be the same away from my home church of 25 years where I will worship with people precious to me, both family and friends, both young and not so young. Then my extended family will meet up at our house for a big roast, mashed potatoes, green bean casserole and an as-of-yet undetermined dessert. About the time we’re too full to bend over, we’ll bend over anyway and hide Easter eggs.
I dearly love this time of year.
OK, young ladies, we have a book to bring to finish so I better stop musing over Spring and start thinking So Long Insecurity. We’ve got only two more weeks to go in our discussions and five chapters left to read. That means we’re going to need to take three chapters this week so we can close up next week with only two. That works, though. It’s not hard reading and many of you have already finished the book anyway and are reviewing it for the sake of discussion. However it works for you is great with me! Your homework this week will include Chapters 14, 15, and 16 and the following three questions – one per chapter. Try to be as succinct as possible in each answer so we can read through many of the comments.
1) As you surely noticed, Chapter 14 is more of a testimony than a teaching but it concludes with a charge to deal with our female insecurities for the sake of young girls coming up behind us. Annabeth was my big inspiration for the journey. Briefly describe someone who is worth doing what it takes to you to live abundantly and effectively in Christ. Help us picture her so that she inspires us, too. Needless to say, don’t share more than she’d want you to.
2) I wish we could discuss all of Chapter 15 in person but this is the next best thing. Name a couple of ways pertinent to your sphere of life and influence that you could look out for your own gender in our battle with insecurities. In other words, how can you (not others but you in particular) start becoming part of the solution in your female relationships rather than default into part of the problem. No condemnation here. Goodness knows, we’ve all been both. Our challenge is to learn to be deliberate. How are you prepared to do that?
3) I can’t wait to see your answers to this one. Based on Chapter 16 and the challenge to look past ourselves, what is your passion? If you don’t have one presently, don’t feel pressured or unnerved. You might be too deep in toddlers or school work to think past the urgent. Those things are priority and need to be your passion right now. If, however, you long for something that makes you feel fully alive and part of something specific God is doing for the greater good, ask Him to nurture that vision in you. It will be ultimately be the key to life on the outskirts of self-absorption. Keep in mind, your passion may not be anything you’re currently engaged in. Maybe you don’t have the opportunity to participate right now. Maybe it’s just in dream-form. Or maybe it’s just a place God has tendered your heart. Try to give it a name. What is something outside of yourself that you feel passionate about?
I will look so forward to your answers, Sisters! I’m so honored to have you along on this journey. Try to enjoy it while you’re at it. Believe it or not, as much as it’s pried into our business, we might just miss it when it’s over.
May the Lord answer you when you are in trouble. May the God of Jacob make you secure! (Ps. 20:1 NET)
With much affection,
Beth
Tags: So Long Insecurity
Greetings in the name of Jesus Christ! I just want to say HI! I am finishing up breaking free and I loved it!!! I even JUST sent your ministry website a little note! I forgot to mention that I have a blog I would LOVE for you to check out, but I also understand you have NO time!~ Anyone can check it out: http://melissamowat.blogspot.com. Basically- I love Jesus…at least I try to love him more and more and more everyday! I am so encouraged by your ministry and your legacy! What an amazing fam! I’ve only done one of your studies but you can bet that I hope to do another!~ God has certainly used you for his glory! What an honor and thank you so much for LISTENING to him! WOW! Thanks!
1. My two daughters, who are 10 and 13 for me are my source of inspiration for me to do what it takes to live abundantly and effectively in Christ.
2. to not judge or assume things about others. Show love in deed and truth.
3. My passion is…oh a whole bunch of things. So much I want to do. But for now, my passion is studying and reading the word of God, raising my daughters, and visiting with the people I deliver Meals on Wheels to; and making bread. Just living everyday one day at a time, walking out in faith knowing there is a purpose for me to be on this planet at this very moment.
Michelle
Vermont
40’s married
Good Morning Siestas! I hope each of you are enjoying your Holy Friday. What a blessing this weekend is for each of us…makes my heart want to leap out of my body!
1. Someone who is worth me doing what it takes to abundantly & effectively live in Christ. Easiest question you’ve asked so far, Ms. Beth.
-Ella Grace (7) and Lillie Claire (4) – my precious little women, two tender little souls my Father has honored me with the charge of raising. I am learning parenting is less about your words and more about your actions…so if I want them to abundantly & effectively live in Christ (and I desperately, desperately, desperately do!) then they better see their mom living her life abundantly & effectively in Christ!
2. How can I look out for my own gender in our battle with insecurity.
-Two ways: a) Love more. Judge less. Build up- not tear down. I think I am going to
approach women with a new understanding that they are just as broken and insecure as I
am. b)start with our little girls. Break the cycle of insecurity in the women of our
next generation.
3. My passion?
-My greatest passion is children. I love to witness children worshipping &
learning about their Father. I love to hug ’em, kiss ’em. I am passionate about
them knowing they are cherished by me and adored by God. I can feel my pulse quicken
just as I type about it now. My dream would be to work in an orphanage. Reach out
to those sweet souls whove been abandoned. I want EVERY child to know they are
valued, adored, and worthy. I want to lay the seed of God’s love in the fertile soil
of a child’s soul. Makes me weep as I think of it all now….nothing makes me ache
in my heart like a child does.
Melissa, are you still looking for good chicken salad recipes?
I got this from Paula Deen’s website. It is her son Jamie’s recipe.
Ingredients:
1 (2 1/2-3-pound) chicken
Salt and pepper to taste
1 onion, quartered
2 ribs plus 1 cup chopped celery
4 hard-boiled eggs, chopped
2 teaspoons seasoning salt (suggested: Jane’s mixed up Krazy salt)
1/2 cup mayonnaise
1 teaspoon lemon-pepper seasoning
1/4 teaspoon ground black pepper
2 to 3 tablespoons chicken stock
She has a note to add walnuts and grapes or canned mandarin oranges for a Hawaiian taste.
Directions:
Place the chicken along with the salt, pepper, onion, and celery stalks in a large stock pot. Cover with water and bring to a boil. Lower the heat and simmer until the chicken is cooked through. Remove chicken from pot, cool, and remove skin and bones. Reserve the liquid. Dice the chicken and place in a large bowl. Add the chopped celery, eggs, seasoning salt, mayonnaise, lemon-pepper, pepper, and some reserved stock and mix well.
Melissa, are you still looking for the perfect chicken salad recipe?
I found this recipe on Paula Deen’s website and in her Lady’s and Son I cookbook. It is by her son Jamie.
Ingredients:
1 (2 1/2-3-pound) chicken
Salt and pepper to taste
1 onion, quartered
2 celery stalks
1 cup chopped celery
4 hard-boiled eggs,chopped
2 teaspoons seasoning salt (suggested: Jane’s mixed up Krazy salt)
1/2 cup mayonnaise
1 teaspoon lemon-pepper seasoning
1/4 teaspoon ground black pepper
2 to 3 tablespoons chicken stock
Paula suggests for a Hawaiian taste to add walnuts and grapes or canned mandarin oranges with the final step.
Directions:
Place the chicken along with the salt, pepper, onion, and celery stalks in a large stock pot. Cover with water and bring to a boil. Lower the heat and simmer until the chicken is cooked through. Remove chicken from pot, cool, and remove skin and bones. Reserve the liquid. Dice the chicken and place in a large bowl. Add the chopped celery, eggs, seasoning salt, mayonnaise, lemon-pepper, pepper, and some reserved stock and mix well.
Thank you Ladies for your kind words.
Especially Bobbie, Patti, Redeemed and Tami
God’s richest to you all, and hope your weather there is as beautiful as it is here in gorgeous Ontario, Canada!
Karen
Okay, I’m curious if I did the Avatar thing right–will it work?
A caveat–I’m sure some of these answers are being hormonally influenced today :-/. Such is life as a woman!
1. My inspiration: Okay, I’m actually insecure about answering this b/c I’m not a mom at all, and I don’t even have any biological nieces, though I have some honorary ones. I guess the person I think of first is a friend who just became a Christian about a year ago, and whom I have been meeting with and kind of discipling, I guess. We have vastly different stories. I just want to be proof that the Lord can be our security, and that He is enough, and I know I fall short in that. I want her to see Jesus in me, giving me the security to live life in some senses alone–I’m single and live by myself, no kids. God has given me tremendous friends and a great church family, but it is still hard sometimes to believe that I am chosen by the Lord and that is enough.
2. What can I do in female relationships? Stop comparing–I do that A LOT, about everything, always analyzing where I fit on the spectrum. I know it’s poison, and yet. . . I need to ask the Lord (and I just did)to check me exactly when I am doing it, and to say “I am clothed in strength and dignity. SHE is clothed in strength and dignity. God is my security.” Believing the best about people and remembering that we are all the same underneath it all would be good, too.
3. My passion? Hmm. . . One is advocating for children through Compassion International. I just got back from Ethiopia to meet my sponsored children, and it was an incredible trip, feeding that passion. Those of us with more than enough need to help those who don’t. . . see, I’m passionate! 🙂 I also am passionate about the Truth in God’s Word, but I’m not sure how He wants me to use that, b/c my insecurities and hang-ups have made it a challenge for me to effectively share truth sometimes. . .Still working on that one.
Oops, I forgot, too–
Single, 40 barely, O’Fallon, MO
Beth!!!!!!! I had to pop in now that I’m on break-time and plant a huge thank you for your spots on KLOVE radio this morning!!!! What a treat to start the day off with a surprise like that! Thanks again,
Diane
40
Ogden,Utah
Dear Siestas
Please pray for our family—just received some tragic news. My cousin’s 18 year old son, John Vincent Mauro and one of his friends, were both struck by a car last night and were killed. (The driver fell asleep behind the wheel). My daughter Holly and John were very close cousins, both seniors in high school, getting ready to graduate in a couple of months, (Holly was the one I mentioned earlier this week who just totalled her car). We will be travelling up to Michigan asap, to be with the family. Also, keep my husband in prayer as he has to drive home from Mississippi before we leave, and we have to tell our two younger daugthers later today…. Everything is still in a fog right now–our family has been through tremendous loss these last 4 years, and the only light I see is God guiding through. Please pray that God will give me the strength personally to comfort my daughter and to help me through this.
“In Jesus Name, I am clothed with strength and dignity””On Christ the solid rock I’ll stand, all other ground is sinking sand…all other ground is sinking sand”….
Donna B.
Panama City,FL
1. At the moment I am trying to find my self worth so I am doing this for myself. I know that seems selfish but I have no children and my nieces are a wee too young to be insecure as of yet. So I am learning to retrain my mind to think of myself as a secure woman so I can be a great example to my nieces and other women and hopefully one day a daughter or child of my own.
2. I am going to deliberately learn to be courageous by learning to be secure in my own body, whatever weight, shape or form at the moment, and to not let what I feel others are thinking of me bother me. Also, I have been and want to continue to cut out any form of gossip from my life and when I hear it to stop it and/or use it as an opening to share about God. Too many people want to be involved in others’ lives when it’s best for them to not be. Trust me I used to want to be in everyone’s business and solve everyone and every couple’s issues. I now do my best to stay out and only offer Godly counsel when asked something.
3. My passion has always been to be a mother; however, I am learning that that may not be my calling. As heartbreaking as that is I have always known that my past hurts from a teenager and now also from adulthood are too teach me many things, including how I can help other girls who suffered the same abuse and loss I have. My passions include not only wanting to be a mother (biologically, adoptively or as a foster mom) but either or a combination of 1) counseling or ministering to young girls who were raped, looked for love in the wrong places, and/or used drugs, 2) counseling or support group for women who are facing infertility or grieving the loss of a dream, and 3) helping as many cats & dogs as I can in anyway I can (they are my children) whether that be by eventually having land to open a shelter or rescue or taking in as many as my husband will let me. Or maybe there will be some great combination of a shelter house for girls, women & animals as animals are great in assisting in healing. It’s in God’s hands I am just trying to get myself “together” so that when called I will be ready.
Lisa
married
30s
KS
1)…my big inspiration… every female I come in contact with, but most especially my two daughters, my baby sister, and my three nieces all of whom are under the age of 15.
2)…how I can start becoming part of the solution in female relationships rather than default into part of the problem… by being slow to judge and quick to forgive particularly those who are insecure and haven’t learn from God these lessons of truth yet.
3)…what is your passion?… Counseling- I’ve wanted to be a counselor since Jr. High…I want to help others learn that God loves them and wants the very best for them in spite of any circumstances they have, are, or will face in life. That God is Almighty. Sovereign, and wants to use them and their experiences for good no matter how vile. And I know this as truth because I’m living it.
Loretta
Wiggins, MS
30’s
divorced (mom of 3)
I have three nieces- Isabella, Mia, Emma, and Reagan. They are worth it. I want them to see their Aunt Erin living out the security I will one-day tell them is theirs. I’m already praying for that chance.
I vow to treat other women’s husbands in the way I would like women to treat my future husband.
One day I would like to have my own Sunday school class and I look forward to my place as a wife and a mom.
1. I have the utter delight of sharinng one of your inspirations. Well, sort of: you see, I have an Anna Beth too! Yes, I see, we spell ours differently. And she in fact will be 19 next month and is due in my driveway at any moment, home from college for Easter weekend. I can hardly wait! She’s half my inspiration with the other half being her sister who turned 20 last month and is doing a mini-book-club version of this blog with me. I thought surely the Lord would fire me from being their mom long before now. But here we are. He just won’t give up on me. And since they’re stuck with me, I’ve simply got to keep on allowing God to work on me. Like it or not!
2. Very thougth provoking. Let the Lord catch me in comparison mode. Then knock it off!
3. Passion: Teaching and facilitating with paper crafts worked in for inspiration. Mine as much as anyone’s. I’m sorry to say how surprised I was that serving the Lord is so much…fun.yes,honest to goodness fun. How sad that I assumed that genuine service for the Lord had to involve some drudgery to be valid. Anyone read John Piper’s “The Duty of Delight”? Enlightening. OK, Kathy’s feeling chatty. Better quit.
Kathy B
H’ville, TN
40’s
married
What a great idea to teach and use paper crafts to help. I had read a book once that used oragami (SP) to tell a story. I often used crafts to be able to talk to the girls in my girl scout troop, for sometimes over crafts things would come out in cross conversation that did not come out in face to face talking. God bless you for your work
I haven’t posted in few a weeks because it is so personal. I am hanging in there and reading my assignments and thinking over the questions. God seems to be pruning me and showing me areas of my life where I have not been putting my trust in Him. It has been very revealing and very humbling. I want to trust but am having a hard time letting go.
1) I come from a family who has its share of generation sin for the women in our family as well as a generational love for Scripture. The Lord rescued me out of the pattern of sin (by the skin of my teeth!!!) and has blessed me with the love for Bible study! I am so grateful! But of course, this makes me think about my future children, especially daughter(s). I so want to be a secure women, firmly rooted in her identity in Christ. I want to model it well to my future children as well as any people I come in contact with!
2) I think personalizing other women is HUGE- when I think about a women, her struggles, her background, her life, I have so much empathy for her, so much compassion.
3) Still trying to discover what I am passionate about. It used to be my career, but I am in a place of looking at my life and trying to decipher what really matters and how to make my life about seeking first the Kingdom…
Stephanie
25, Houston, TX
happily married
1. I would like to model this kind of security for the girls I teach in church, but I’m thinking especially of my teenage niece whose parents went through a painful divorce. Her dad walked out without any warning and hasn’t spoken to my sister since, and he barely keeps in touch with his daughters. I know the loss of her father has been a devastating blow to my niece’s security, and she struggles with bitterness toward him.
2. One privilege I’ve had as a teacher is to encourage women who feel insecure about how smart they are. We tend to focus on insecurity in the area of looks or sex appeal, but I’m honestly amazed by the number of women who think they are “dumb”. I love to joke with them about the brainless things I’ve done. I tell them that some of the stupidest things I’ve ever heard have been said by highly educated people, and it’s the truth!
3. My passion is to train young Christians to be more literate and articulate. 21st century America is desperately in need of Christians who can reason and write and speak in a way that is compelling and effective. Every church community is different, but I’ve met so many people who left the church after college thinking that Bible-believing Christians were allergic to thinking. Our young people should go to college aware of the rich intellectual tradition of the Church, even if they are not yet prepared to grapple with every issue.
1. My 18 year old daughter, Kat, She is beautiful (I am not the only one to see her so), and intelligent, yet she has self-esteem problems, mean friends, does not like to put her opinions forward, and can be hurting at times. Sometimes I look and listen to her and see some of my concerns and fears expressed. I know that when she sees me being healed of insecurity, that will make a difference. Recently she had a history paper to write where she had to give her opinion, and she said, “I have no opinion regarding the political party I support for I don’t think my opinion will change things.” I want to change that in her, to help her realize that her opinions matter. When I asked her about this, she said that she was afraid of repercussions from those in her class, many of whom have lifestyles that are far from Christian values, so she was reticent to share what she truly felt in areas. Peer pressure is powerful and I want to change and pray that she does not succumb to that, for next fall she goes off to college.
2. I have been working on this problem before I read your chapter. One thing that helped was being the secret sister of someone who drove me up the wall. I found that by praying for her consistently and listening for her needs in our general conversation that the more I knew her the less she drove me up the wall. So for me – praying for people is tantamount, and there are a few that need to have that happen. Our church has a Titus 2 program and I am being convicted to become a mentor for a young lady, that will help. I have been lax in doing that. Also, I need to come alongside a few other women who God is showing me could use positive encouragement.
3. My passion is making the Bible come alive to people and teaching. Right now God has me writing a book and it is one that is FAR beyond anything I thought I would write – it isn’t the memoir I thought but an honest to goodness Bible study on Nehemiah. Every time I get scared I hear a teaching, read something, or someone comments on the topic that has frightened me. God has held my hand in this, and two days ago I finished my rough draft. After a revision I will be passing it along to my pastor to look at. I am so scared but excited, for I know the seriousness of putting a Bible teaching in writing – what if I get something wrong???? Will it be the help to others that I want it to be???? Have I heard what God wanted me to share correctly??? It has been a challenge to be for, as we learned at today’s lunchtime Bible study, when we are a teacher we are held to a higher degree of accountability and we need to be living out what we are teaching. Oh, help. I am asking for prayer that as I read through the rough draft that God helps me to see what needs adding and removing. Let me really share only what God wants me to share in this book.
Heather
Shokan, NY
50’s
Married
1. I want to deal with my insecurities and live abundantly and effectively in Christ for my precious baby girl. She’d be most unhappy to know I referred to her as baby girl since she’ll be 10 in May but that is who she is to our family. She has three older brothers. I want to be an excellent example of a secure woman in Christ for her. I am painfully aware that she learns more by watching me live than by any words I can tell her. I confess that I’ve not been a great example. Our study has profoundly helped me identify and take areas of insecurity to the Lord for His restoration. Thankfully, I can see positive changes.
2. For women in general, I look out for my own in some friendships with several teenaged girls from church. I try to listen to them and treat them with respect. I attend their ball games, go out to eat with them, text, etc. I’ve had the opportunity to share with some of them about things that seem important at 16 (popularity, boys, appearance, etc) but turn out to be so unimportant. We talk about true security being found only in Jesus.
Secondly, I teach Pilates. I try to use the platform to encourage the women with the courage to walk in the gym all alone and put themselves out there. I privately share my yo-yo weight flucuations and what God has done in my life to heal me physically as well as spiritually. I try to show that good health is more important than a particular weight on the scale.
3. What is my passion? What is my passion? Oh, how this question has been swimming around in my mind since I read our assignment yesterday. God is doing big things in my life right now. Times are tough for us financially but God is calling me to get past all that and seek His way. He opened up the Pilates door and has other exercise instructing possibilities coming togeher. God has been dealing with me to get to a healthy place with food/exercise/weight for several years. I sense that He wants me to use what he’s done/is doing in my life along with my training/licensure/experience as a counselor to help others with similiar issues. I am so excited. God is good. I take such comfort knowing that He’s at work even when I don’t know all the particulars and I can’t see how things can work out.
1. My sons and the health of their families and children- I pray that my late in life awareness is not too late
2. My friends, nieces, young women who come through my life- Cleaning out the “spiritual and emotional” closets of our lives through the divine intervention and power of the Holy Spirit.
3. Lots of passions and interests!!! At this stage of life, my primary interest is in how our God intervenes and heals- this is a top priority- The two passions that have directed my work and volunteer activities relate to children’s mental health and educational issues. Child abuse prevention and the importance of our educational systems being aware of learning style differences are at the top of my list. The hope that our schools (administrators and educators) will learn the importance of recognizing and encouraging the indiviudal gifts and talents of each child.
1) My future grandchildren–whether male or female–will need a grandmother who is secure; one who can testify of God’s faithfulness and unfailing love in insecure times. I pray to be that kind of grandmother.
2) By keeping my focus on the presence of God in me–my treasure–and by trying to keep the attitude of Jesus Christ in my mind in all situations–that I am lovely and every other child of God is lovely, too.
3) My passion is to help everyone who has panic disorder or other anxiety disorders to know the freedom and blessed peace that comes when we totally lean on the Holy Spirit’s power within us and on the Word of God.
Joni
56
Texas
1. my 3 daughters…and my son.
2. realise that we all feel insecure and instead of sizing up someone, pray for her and be aware that we are all in the same boat! And it’s really working and helping me as I have already been doing it!
3. my passion has always been writing…but with 4 little ones, they are my passion!
MOnica
30s
m with 4 kids
Sydney, Australia
My 14 yr old daughter Taylor. She and I have grown up together in the Lord. Her salvation came at 9 years old and God has been growing us together as sisters in Christ from that point on. She has so many advantages ahead of me because I didn’t accept Christ until I was 20. She is mature for her age and has discernment and wisdom beyond her peers. I just know God has a special purpose for her. WE are entering some turmoil years but by God’s grace we’ll make it through them. You better believe even more so after this book that she is more secure than most of those around her. She has leadership skills that God is going to develop as she grows into womanhood. I am so thankful for the young person she has become for Christ. Choices, Choices, Choices, I continue to point her toward living her life out loud for Him but all the while know I need to get in the out loud section myself for me and my friends too! God has blessed me with several beautiful women in my life and in the ministry at our church. God has answered with some amazing miracles in our lives and the testimony of Him shines through our ladies. My passion is for women’s ministry and for them to realize the freedom in Christ and His Word. God has been stirring a vision within me on becoming a Titus 2 woman and seeing our middle age / older ladies becoming mentors to our teenage daughters. I ask God to continue to show me and lead me and open the doors and close the ones that need to. Just continuing to pray and seek Him.
Beth,
You are hitting the nail on the head with So Long Insecurity! I’m almost finished, and the chapter about our men really hit me hard…my husband is disabled. He is a quadriplegic, results from a work accident which should have killed him, but didn’t! Do we know who is in control or what? Anyway, I never had a clue about his wanting to still be a financial support for our little family–just him, me and our 5 year old boy at the time. Women can be clueless when it comes to things of the male gender, and this one really woke me up to his insecurities. Not that I don’t have my own, mind you, but at least now I KNOW that I’m responsible for other’s insecurities, but only my own. Does that make sense to you? We all encounter many people (especially women) who have insecurities, and at times, we open ourselves to take on thiers, in hopes of “helping” them! Well, I have learned, and oh, so recently and clearly, that my issues are enough for me (and God) to deal with. And that I cannot, no way, no how, take on anymore! The boundaries thing had to kick into my brain again! You are awesome, my sister, and I love your honesty and just blatant “this is the way it is” way of writing. You are an inspiration and help to so many of us feeble women! Love ya, sister!
Obviously, So Long Insecurity is a captivating read since I just purchased the book on Tuesday and I am already up to chapter 14. Perfect timing for following along with this blog study of the book. Beth, you really get at the heart that fuels so much of the craziness that we engage in and see our sisters engaging in daily. It is challenging me to shed the insecurity that I have lived with since childhood that has robbed me of self-esteem, relationships, positions, and Gods best for me period. I just discovered this blog and will continue along with you and company to work out this stumbling block. Thank you for this book. Thank God for you.
I love this book, Mrs. Moore!
1) My inspiration is my 3 1/2 year old daughter Gracie who is growing up surrounded with more media influence than I was….I do not want her to inherit my tendency towards a spirit of fear and rejection, so I am praying in the spirit for these things to be broken in me as well so I can be a better model for her.
2)I struggle with some comparisons and competitive inclinations when it comes to some family in-law relationships. It is just ridiculous, and I am steadfastly praying to LOVE rather than COMPETE with these women. I am trying to put aside my own “depersonalization” (as you said) and focus on rejoicing in their triumphs and in who they are as women. And you are right – when I pray for them and make a concerted effort to delight in who they are as women, IT IS LIBERATING for me!
3) My passion is to encourage and teach women. I used to be a high school English teacher before I became a stay-at-home mom, and I had a passion to encourage my students in their life struggles and pursuits – particularly the ones who were children of divorce like me. I have a passion to write and I have had a vision of speaking to women one day….in what capacity I don’t know, but I know God will allow this ministry to develop as my kids grow…..for now, my young children are my priority, and will always be a priority.
Thank you again for writing this book – it is truly anointed. Have a wonderful Easter.
[email protected]
Beth I haven’t finished reading the last chapter for this week, but had to share the pain I felt last night. I was on the main drag for the teenagers on Friday nights. I was looking for a cute pair of shoes to complete my Easter outfit and I noticed this cute little gal in a small red car. She had a car load of friends with her and seemed to be in hot pursuit of the car with very goodlooking boys in it ahead of her. She past me and on the back window she had written with that white paint “Seniors 2010 !! #1 B****”. Oh, that would have caught my eye before this book. But my reaction was so different. I wanted to cry that that cute litte girl had that kind of picture of herself. Maybe it doesn’t mean anymore what it meant to me back then and even now. I couldn’t keep up with her to find out. So I pulled into the parking lot and just prayed for her and myself. I pray that I will never communicate anything to anyone that would make them think of themselves that low.
1) My niece Sarah Katelyn is definitely my inspiration, and very much worth my journey toward security. At four years old, she already loves Jesus with all her heart and is constantly reminding me of His love for us. When my grandfather died last year she was the one to provide comfort to my mom. She told her it was okay to be sad because he was home with Jesus. I want to continue to make sure she values herself just as much as God values her.
2) One thing that I’ve already started doing to be part of the solution is to discuss this book with the ladies in my Sunday school class. We’ve been talking about this very thing along with #1 (becoming better role models) and what we can do to change it. I want to stop comparing myself to other women and realize that depersonalizing them is the biggest problem I have. I want to see them real people with the same fears, hurts, and needs.
3) My passion has always been writing, but I always kept what I wrote to myself. A couple years ago a friend of mine suggested that I start writing devotions and send them to others by email. I was overwhelmed with fear because I didn’t have enough confidence in myself to do that. God put in on my heart though and I took that first step. From there my heart’s love has expanded to a passion for women; reading their email responses and realizing how much we have in common has increased that love. I’ve also learned that you should never say I can’t do ______________(fill in the blank) because that’s the very thing God will end up leading you to do, and if you do it through Him you will find out that all things are possible. (Mark 9:23)
1. My four daughters are the reason that I need to deal with my insecurities. I do not want them to feel the things that I feel. I want them to be who God made them to be and not be concerned with what society says a woman should be.
2. I need to stop comparing myself to other women. I need to stop thinking “She is this + I am that = I’m a loser”. The sentence that stood out to me the most in this chapter was “My security is mine to keep. God gave it to me. No one gets to take it from me.” I’m going to rehearse that sentence over and over in my mind. Then next time I start to feel insecure, I will be able to stop insecurity before it even gets started. I want to be so secure that other women see me and want to be secure themselves. I have this treasure. It’s easy to forget that I do, but I do have it. The Word says that I do.
3. My passion is raising our girls to be virtuous women.
I just finisehd So Long Insecurity, and I LOVED IT!! It is just the encouragement I needed. I have for so long struggled with insecurities, not feeling good enough, an eating disorder, and trying to find my place. In the past year I have been able to put all that aside and really give it to the Lord, my prayer daily (sometimes more than once a day) is to grow into the women God would have me to be and to not stand in the way of what he is doing. Yes, there are days that I feel crummy and change outfits 5 times (which I never saw as an insecurity thill I read the book.. wow, eye opener)but at the end of the day I know who I am and who’s I am and for that I am thankful. I have found some useful tips in the book and catch myself starting to think those negative thoughts or compare myself to someone on campus… and I start remember what I’ve read. I have also had an opportunity this week to help a young girl who I had on my basketball team with self esteem issues. It breaks my heart that the insecurites start at such a young age, but I am thankful that I am able to use the brokenness and hurt that I have experienced to reach out and encourage someone else. Beth, THANK YOU,THANK YOU, THANK YOU for a great book… my heart has truly been transformed.
1. My 2 beautiful granddaughters. Mackenzie, 9, who wants nothing to do with girly, feminine things. She seems comfortable not “fitting into” the culture’s view of how a girl should look or act. The hard part (especially for her Mom) is that she has no ‘girl’ friends and prefers to have friends that are boys. Addison, 6, who loves all things ‘girly’ but also rides Motocross because since she could walk she has needed to keep up with/do what her older brother does.
2. For me right now I need to find a church that doesn’t dismiss or demean women. Is there such a place? I need to continue doing Bible studies with other women.
3. My passion is children. I’m not sure how that is to look in this season of my life. I have 5 Grandchildren that I love deeply and get to be a part of their lives.
I also want them to see and come to know Jesus through how I live my life.
63
Married
Minnesota
1. My niece is young, bright, very considerate of others, sensitive, and an addict. God, brought me through and out of my own personal hell with addiction in my late 20’s. While, I was not able to prevent my niece from going down this path, I want to help her make her way to wholeness.
2. Negatively comparing myself to others has been a large part of my life. In the last few years, I have worked consciously to stop myself when I notice the comparisons start. I am striving to get to the point where I can compliment the person I want to compare myself to for the very thing that I feel insecure about.
3. My passion is spreading the message of making health and nutrition a lifestyle to others.
In my sphere of influence now that I am retired from teaching would be tutoring and helping at church in the after school program. The girls in this area are minority and poor. They can be rich in Jesus Christ and equal to any other girl with security of the Lord. My passion is that women would make wise choices in their professions and their men. If you feel that you are serving the Lord in your job, you can get through many problems with Christ’s help. I made many of the mistakes that you described in your book SO LONG INSECURITY, but when it all came tumbling down Jesus was there for me. He gave me a purpose and I have praised him ever since. I don’t wish the mistaked that I made on anyone, but if they had not happened, I might not have surrendered to the Lord. Bless you Beth, for your hard work in writing, presenting and praying God’s Will.
Here are my answers to questions 2 and 3:
2. I loved the part in Chapter 15 about praying for those you dislike. It is so true! If I find myself disliking or being jealous of someone, I commit to praying for them daily. I pray that God will fill my heart with His supernatural love for this person. Over time, I find that the person I dislike doesn’t change, but I sure do! I start cheering them on and often become friends with them. At the very least, I have compassion for them, and usually a better understanding of them. If I ask God to help me love a difficult person like He does, He always has. After all, it is His will that we love one another.
3. In 2008, I was diagnosed with panic disorder. For months, I had been having a dozen or more panic attacks each day. My life was falling apart. Before this, I had never had a panic attack or struggled with abnormal amounts of anxiety. I actually considered myself to be a very calm and very brave person. To this day, I cannot tell you what or if something happened to trigger this desperate time in my life. I do know that when chemicals in our bodies become imbalanced, all manner of things may occur. Although I prayed to God for months to take this “thorn” away, it progressively got worse to the point I was fearful to leave my home. Finally, I reached out for help (which is a God-story in itself!), and was started immediately on medications. I haven’t had a full-blown panic attack since then. Because of this experience, I have become passionate about helping people with anxiety or panic disorders. I know what it is like to live with real, persistent fear, and how lonely, isolating, and terrifying that is. I don’t go around telling everyone I meet that I have a panic disorder, but I certainly do not hide it. It is part of who I am, and honestly, I am so thankful for it. It has pushed me toward God in brand new ways. It has made me brutally aware of how much I need Him. Although I require medication on a daily basis to prevent my panic attacks (this is what works for me; I can’t speak for anyone else), I know that, in reality, God is the reason I am free and unafraid. He is Rapha, my Healer. I want people to know that there is hope and there is help. Panic and anxiety disorders are not uncommon, and can be debilitating. If I can help someone not feel alone, hopeless, crazy, or trapped, than praise God for allowing me to have this condition! I will take it! When I am weakest, He shows up strongest in me (2 Cor. 12)!
Michelle in TN; 30s and single
another try to get comments accepted.
so far no banana.
out of the mouths of babes. My son told me what I ws doing worng
I will repost my comments. yea son!
Now that I know how to work with the new web site…let’s get on with it. ;0)
Becky
Brentwood TN
40’s
married
1. My 4 kids–2 girls,2 boys. They are worth me doing the thang, even though it is so hard for me. Growing up I always felt unwanted, and stupid (sometimes still do) at times by my own family…yikes. When I became a mom I made sure my kids felt wanted, loved and taken care of. My father was never on mine or my brothers’ side of an issue always for the other kid. I let my kids know I am for them I am on their side, I let my kids know I am rooting for them, encouraging them, I will be in stands yelling for them, clapping and proud of them, no matter how they perform.
I learned through this book, even the guys have insecurity issues, maybe a littel different from the girls, but they are there. so I want my boys to be secure too.
I want my kids to see me being secure, not a walking train wreck. They need to see Christ in me.
2. This is a tough one, other than letting my female friends know that we all have insecurties, I don’t have an answer to this. I am too isolated but have started working to change that, insecurity stinks! To be honest it was after I strated reading this book that I learned we all have this security issue…I thought it was just me.
3. Not for sure what my passion is just yet,maybe when I gorw up I will.. ;0D
I do have several things I have a strong desire for such as: My church needs a womens ministry sooooo badly it isn’t even funny. I enjoy helping some of the chairty org. that are close to my home. Oh, and I LOVE sending care packages, I love it, love it, love it. It is sooooo much fun to get a box and fill it with this and that for someone who is not expecting it. ha-ha-ha- love it. I think people think I’m weird on that one.
Hi Beth: I was sitting in the laundrymat today finishing up the last couple chapters of your Insecurity book. First of all, I asked the question on my facebook page…”Why does doing the laundry in the laundrymat seem so depressing?” A friend of mine wrote, “it is because we feel displaced”. Feeling displaced and insecure. My goodness Beth, how I identify with your struggle. I lived out so many in just the last week! God have mercy on me. I too am 50 something with three different colors in my hair and a passion for skinny ankle boyfriend jeans and t-shirts. But I look in the mirror and see the wrinkles that are taking over my neck and the youthful ambition fading away. I broke up with the most recent boyfriend over my insecurity of his love for me just two days ago. I am a tired, worn out woman, who lost her joy last July when I started dating this guy. (That is pretty telling don’t you think??}. Thank you for your heart poured out in that book. It gives me strength to go to those passages again and regain my dignity. God Bless you Beth and all the woman. I just want to be natural woman…well at least with a couple of colors in my hair thank you!!!
Happy Easter to you and your family,
Bambi
Beth, I have decided that in writing the book “So Long Insecurity” you have infringed on my privacy. My name is written on each and every page. Every time I see my name “Ginnie” at the beginning of every sentence, I wonder about all of the other readers of the book. They must be wondering “who is Ginnie”? . Couldn’t you just have called me and told me this stuff? It is so embarrassing!( I had to stop and look up how to spell embarrassing so I wouldn’t embarrass myself by spelling it wrong.) But then, it is all about me, or that is what I have believed for most of my life. I have lived this book and have come to see how completely self-absorbed I have always been. I am beginning to heal at the ripe old age of 56 having been a Christian since I was 7 years old. I walked away from God for many years and lived a life that greatly grieved the spirit as he attempted to show himself to me time and time again. I have been walking with Jesus again for a little over 10 years now and Oh how I missed him in my rebellion. He is my one desire now. Coincidentally ( ha ha ) I am on chapter 8 of the Daniel study with my women’s bible study group as I write this. Between your book and the book of Daniel, God is revealing new life to me again and again. Thank you for you commitment to God that has overflowed into my life and the lives of so many women. P.S. I saw you in Sacramento at Arco arena and you were wearing that same blouse that is on the cover of So Long Insecurity. It is lovely.
God Bless You Beth.
On the question of who in my life inspires me to healing, I have to say my two daughters and my two grand-daughters. I labor in prayer with God over my tendency to have deep regret and wish I could raise my daughters over again so that I could undo the mistakes that I have made with them. God restores the years the locusts ate. Praise Him for that. Please pray that my youngest daughter will come back to Jesus and that her daughter will come to love Jesus too. My oldest daughter loves the Lord and her daughter is an inspiration to me, her grandma. She is in a Christian school and the Bible is her favorite subject. She carries her bible everywhere and always has her nose and her heart deep in the pages. She is 10. Please pray that she will get through these next trying teen years with her heart and her security in God intact and flourishing. They inspire me to allow God His healing work in my insecurity so that I can be an example of His love.
1. I long to live out life securely to be an influence on all the women in my life, but particularly my 15 year old niece. She’s had a very, very rough home life and is one of the most driven kids I know. The pressure she puts on herself (and the pressure her mother puts on her) breaks my heart. To be able to be a confident woman (not a perfect woman and not expecting myself to be perfect), secure in the Lord and in His plans and purposes, to be able to walk in His peace, free from the anxiety of living in this brutal world, with love and compassion and strength and dignity and for her to be able to see that might allow her to see that it is possible in Jesus and for her to want Him and seek Him out. Let it be so, Father!
2. If I’m living life in a way that agrees with God instead of my very transitory feelings, with wisdom and insight into the behavior of others, recognizing when they are responding in insecurity and refusing to respond the same way, that would be huge and incredibly influential in the lives of others. Let it be so, Lord.
3. I’ve been asking the Lord for a passion to serve somewhere. I don’t currently have one.
1) As a single woman, with no children, I wondered about my answer on this. But, I realized first and foremost, I am the person for whom it is worth living an abundant life in Christ. Beyond that -my mother is not a believer, and yet watching me live my life in Christ has inspired her to work to start a backpack program within our local public schools… and finally, I had an opportunity to minister to young women at the high school about healthy relationships..and if I touched just one life or helped change one girls trajectory from pain to health…that makes it all worth it!
2) I think for me, the biggest thing I can do to contribute to mutual healing within women is to stop tripping their insecurity switch. As someone who has a degree in psychology, I have a very good understanding on the human psyche and unfortunately have used that to my own advantage. I’ve been guilty of tripping anothers insecurity so I can then provide encouragement and help, thereby setting up a cycle of emotional dependency. I have committed to working on my issues of low self-worth and fractured self-esteem and in the process claim that NO MORE will this be a pattern in my life, thanks to the power of Christ!
3) This area is still developing within me. I have spent 37 years not really knowing who I was, but knowing who everyone else was, and what their passions were. As I have been learning about myself, and who God has created me to be, I see that there are areas of passion that may not yet even be tapped. What I do know, is that I love building houses with Habitat for Humanity, and I love to travel. And by the grace of God, I have participated in 5 short-term mission trips in the past 6 years and am about to lead my first one this year. I am learning I have a passion for walking free from co-dependency, as I am now a leader at our local Celebrate Recovery group -and while I had the opportunity once to speak to high school girls, inwardly I have a huge passion to seeing them walk in wholeness way earlier in life, so they don’t have to make as many poor decisions and walk through as many diseased relationships as I did.
1. I have lot’s of young women in my life. I pray that thru a listening ear and encouraging words I can make a positive difference in the way they see themselves and each other.
2. To be a part of the solution, I have to make changes!
a)I will start catching myself making comparisons and STOP!~I am thinking about wearing a rubber band on my wrist. ack
b)I will start persoanlizing the women in life.
c)I will avoid tripping other women’s insecurity switch
3. My passion in this season is developing my skills and knowledge in becoming a radical “sender”. I am learning to fall in love with People of the world. I have taken the course Perspectives and learned so much about the world. My son is serving in South East Asia and I am volunteering a couple of days a week helping out our mission’s pastor at our church. The world is huge and need is great. There are WHOLE lot of people who need to hear the good news of Jesus and there a so many who want to go and need the encouragment to step out in faith and once they have stepped out to be enouraged while serving!
Q1. I have three nieces; ages 14, 12, and 10. The oldest is a remarkable young woman. Very smart and has a true love for the Lord. When she and I get alone for a long time, we will eventually start talking “Bible” and I love it! The other two are her sisters, and I am waiting for the day that they get a love for Him. The middle one is very loving and affectionate and has always depended on the oldest for help and answers, and doesn’t like to continue on to the finish if she falls behind in a game. The youngest is very dependant and has a mind of her own, she cooks and caters (I call her for help when making TX chicken stew). ;0)
Q2. I am prepared to learn to be deliberate by listening to that still small voice inside of me of all that I have learned; guiding me, my words, and my actions to help be a solution to others insecurities instead of helping to hurt them (that’s goes for brothers too, not just my sisters).
Q3. My passion is Bible studies at my church for the women. I have a heart-desire to lead and participate in learning God’s Word and sharing it with the other women so they don’t miss out on Him. I have a passion for God’s creation, the life of animals and plants. God has taught me so much in watching and caring for nature. He truly is an amazing God!
Teresa
Bardstown, KY
30’s Married
1. My baby girl is worth doing what it takes. She’s 36 years old. Yes, years, not months. She is as big a mess as I have been because insecurity seems to be generational. I have shared most of this book with her, but I didn’t start it for her. I started it because I knew that all this baggage was like wearing Antarctic gear at the Equator. I was really tired of it. As I get stronger and more confident, I pass it along. I am in the middle of your Esther study, and I keep thinking about being in this position (newly retired with time to do Bible studies) at a time like this. I can’t tell you the passages I have read directly to her in her time of need. She will be attending the broadcast with me. Hopefully, there’s a granddaughter somewhere in our future who will benefit from both of us having done this study.
2. The next two questions really stump me. I think I am able to assess women differently than I ever have. Once you see under the protective coating, you can minister to people. I don’t know what that will evolve into.
3. I don’t know my passion, either. Right now, it’s making up for lost time in Bible study. The teaching career consumed my life for the last 28 years. I absolutely love having the freedom to spend as much time as I want reading the Bible and doing classes. In May, I am going on a girl adventure with 4 friends. I think that what I have studied will really help make this trip special and deepen an old friendship and develop some new ones.
60’s and married in TX
Heather
Pottstown, PA
20’s
Divorced/Engaged
1) My 2 nieces, age 5 and 2. They are the sweetest and cutest things (maybe I’m just biased!). The 5 year old has a compassionate heart. When she visits her 80 year old great-grandfather who has problems walking, she is right there by his side to hold his hand and help him. She also loves to help with cleaning and baking. I don’t want her to grow up to be insecure, so my hope and prayer is that I can be a Godly example in her life.
2) One thing is being humble with certain gifts God has blessed me with, that He may hot have given my friends and family. Another is dressing modestly. I think I’m a pretty moderate dresser, but there have been MANY times when I’ve made comments to my fiance about what others are wearing, whether it’s on TV or out in public. But that’s just my insecurity showing through!!
3) My passion is helping others. I have a heart for children who have been mistreated or abused. Maybe it’s b/c I was molested when I was younger by my grandfather, but I can’t stand to see when children are hurt. I worked for Children and Youth as a caseworker investigating abuse and neglect cases and I loved it! The case load was so out of control though, I had to leave. I would also like to do more volunteer work in the community. Like in a homeless shelter or visiting people in nursing homes who don’t have family or any visitors. Our church just went through a Spiritual Campaign on how to be a good samaritan and it got me really pumped up to step out of my comfort zone to reach the less fortunate.
married
30’s
Brimfield, IL
1. I want to do what it takes for my younger sister (17 years younger). I see her constatnly struggle with what others might be thinking about her. She lives in bondange to her worry and insecurity. I want to be secure to inspire her to believe that God can free her!
2. I want to stop comparing myself with others. Then when I catch myself doing this, I want to stop and personalize that person by complementing what God has blessed them with (either to them or just in my head), and then I want to send up a prayer for them. I want to be conscious of how I view them and depersonalize them by my insecurity and stop it!
3. My passion at present is to impart Jesus to my two boys; to show them how God is great and cares about everything in their lives, to cultivate in them a love of the Word, to help them to see right from wrong in God’s eyes and the why behind it, to teach them to love others and see them as God does, to value what He values!
I have just finished reading the book today and it was one of the few books that I will reread after I allow another to read it. I have struggled over parts and shed some tears over other parts. It helped me to gain some insight into myself and showed me some work that I need to allow God to work on in me.
Thank you for continuing to write books that speak to the heart of women. I have also been part of several Bible studies at our church in which we have used your studies. Thank you again.
Hi Mama Beth,
Here are my answers for this week!
1. For me it is all about my little girls who are my students. I am a teacher of grades 2 and 3. What saddens me is how already at a young age you see the insecurities popping up. They are already check out who is wearing what…and this is a soapbox with this mama/teacher…..the clothes they try to market for these girls at this age. I mean for goodness sake they are still little girls…not grownups….how in the world did we get to this place? I tell you makes me just so mad….so I want to be secure for them. I want them to see the person that God is shaping in them can be who He wants them to be. IN order for them to see that…they need a good role model. So many of them have mamas who are in their own insecure world….so they look to me. So the buck starts with me.
2. I want to be more encouraging to those women who cross my path. At my school where I teach we sometimes get competitive with each other and I know we size each other up. I want to encourage them and myself by my words and let them know we are all a work in progress…so let’s do it together and love each other for who we are.
3. My dream is not one that has happened. Don’t get me wrong…I am passionate about teaching…but my grandmother and I used to have tea together and have great conversation about books, life, and oh the laughter. To this day I have tea daily…most often than not at least 3 times a day. It is during this time I find to just be, read, pray, converse….let the world seep away. I have always wanted to have my own tea and book store. A place that offers a resprite from the world. A place to have quiet conversation, find a good book, a place to stay a while if so desired. I have not given up on this dream. I think God has me being passionate about teaching right now because those little girls need a good role model…but in the back of my mind I always feel this dream can happen. If not in a big way, I can at least offer my home, my heart, and good cup of tea to those who cross my path.
Mama Beth, this book has been an eye opener for me….I have grown beyond measure and I thank you for that. You are a blessing to my dear heart and i dearly love you.
love,
Tammy S
Howells, NE
married
44