Howdy, Siestas! I feel like I should introduce myself again because it’s been so long since I’ve written. Our summer was b-u-s-y but wonderful. Curtis preached at a Bible study gathering called Metro and at a few churches in our area, I led the Ruth study with some blogging girlfriends, we hosted out of town family members, went to Galveston a couple of times, and did lots of swimming and playing with the kids. Tomorrow Jackson and Annabeth will start pre-k and mother’s day out, so I suppose summer is coming to an end for us. Our normal Wednesday church schedule picks back up tonight and I can’t wait to see all the fellowship supper crowd. We have been missing everyone! Jackson gets to join the kids choir as of tonight. I think he is going to love it.
I have a little story to tell you that will explain my recent absence here on the blog. One day in June I was trying to get some work done and I went into the dining room (away from the kids) so I could concentrate. A few minutes later Jackson came running over to me and said, “Annabeth is on the TV!” What in the world? I ran in the living room to find my 16-month-old walking on the console behind the flatscreen and about to dive off into a pile of toys. Needless to say, I was horrified. I brought my laptop back in the living room and tried to finish whatever I was doing. A few minutes later I looked down and saw Annabeth sitting on our golden retriever’s back. All she needed was a saddle and she had her own little pony. I was horrified again! Beckham is a very patient dog and he loves the kids, but that was not okay. I was bit in the face by our family dog as a child and I know better than to trust any animal completely. This happened three feet away from me and I didn’t see it because of my computer screen.
I knew my days of working at home were coming to an end. I either needed to return to the office or stop working. Not only was it becoming unsafe for my children, but I constantly felt frustrated and discouraged as an employee and as a mother. I’m sure many of you can relate to how I was feeling. It was maddening because the world tells women we can have it all – career, romance, family, friends, leisure, and a peaceful home – but the truth is we are all making sacrifices in one or more of these areas in order to carry the others. I felt like my entire family was revolving around me and my needs, when what my soul really longed for was to have the time and energy to serve them.
After many conversations with Curtis, a long heart-to-heart with my mom, and lots of prayers shot up to God in desperate moments, we decided that I would take a step back from my job at LPM for the next year. I have 12 months left with my son before he begins kindergarten and I want to make the most of that time. Next fall we will reevaluate our situation.
I confess I was really nervous to talk to my mom about this. It can be complicated when family members work together. But in my heart I kept hearing my mom say, “No amount of success in ministry can make up for failure at home.” My mom has kept to that after all these years and I’ve benefitted from it in countless ways. Now it was time for me to decide on my own. Would I choose what was best for my family? I could not have imagined how graciously my mom would respond to my cries for help. She was 100% mom and 0% boss in that moment. She told me that when she’d kept the kids the weekend before, she’d sensed that this was coming.
Once Curtis, Mom and I were on the same page, I felt a flood of relief and joy. For about three hours. Then the seriousness of walking away from my job of 8 years came crashing over me. Satan told me the disgusting lie that I wouldn’t be important anymore. As if I should need to be important anyway! I was pretty emotional – swinging from extreme happiness and relief to sadness – for a few weeks. In fact, during that time I wrote two other versions of this post that I deemed too melodramatic to publish.
It’s been two months since the decision was made and a little less time since I handed over my administrative responsibilities to my co-worker, Kimberly McMahon/KMac. She is an awesome lady and I’m very thankful for the gifts God has given her.
Our family is definitely enjoying the harvest from this change. I feel a lot more peace. And that’s a pretty big deal! My relationship with Jackson has improved dramatically. He needed me to say yes more. I’ve been cooking, which my husband appreciates. I will say, though, that motherhood is hard any way you slice it! Can I get an amen? Did this make my life perfect? Uh, no. Did I magically become Supermom? I wish. But do I like motherhood more? Yes. Definitely.
Mom has invited me to keep writing here whenever I have something to share and I look forward to doing that. I will finally have some alone time now that Annabeth is starting mother’s day out and Jackson will be inPre-K. Praise the Lord!
I know that many of you reading this are desperate for your situation – whatever that may be – to change. Please know that when you cry out to the Lord, He hears you! He knows what you are going through. He is your Shepherd and He cares for you. Pray, pray, pray. First Peter 5:7-8 says, “Humble yourselves, therefore, under God’s mighty hand, that he may lift you up in due time. Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you.” (NIV) I am asking God to show you His love, power and care right now.
Siestas, thank you for loving my family and for supporting us. We love you very much.
Sincerely,
Amanda
Rejoicing with you!
Thank you for sharing. And good for you!
HUGS!
You know, I keep hearing those same words from your mom…since she spoke them over all us ladies at the She Speaks conference, they’ve just been echoing. I’m so proud of your willingness to cry out and obey, even in the tough things! Well done, Sister! You’re encouraging many, many women in sharing this bit of your testimony!
Great job Amanda, I applaud you! It’s so hard to make that choice and I think it’s very honorable you’ve chosen to stay home! Enjoy this time with the kids, because it goes by so very fast!!!
<3 your hearing heart! Love and prayers for you!! Just plain happy for you!!
A-MEN! Just moments before turning on my computer I was moaning at God about all of the things I’m trying to juggle…some because I need to, and some because I have been believing the lie that the world will stop spinning if I’m not involved with (fill-in-the-blank). Thanks for this reminder!
Thanks for the Scripture reminder. May God bless your time. Thanks for sharing.
Amanda,
We will miss you here in Siesatville but I completely respect and admire your decision. The emotional factors you shared are understandable.
Good job for putting first things first. I pray God will bless you for your courage and protect you from negative thoughts. And bless your mom for being so supportive. If more people had values like you guys, this world would be a much better place.
Love to you,
Michele
Amanda,
First of all, I commend you for taking this step back and choosing to serve your family. You have made the right choice. I will always remember a lesson your Mom taught about choosing “one thing” like Mary did. For me, as a stay-at-home Mom, I try to keep my family as my “one thing” that I do best. If they are cared for, laundry is kept up with, house is clean, food is on the table, and my husband’s needs are met, then I can pick up other things. But until then, I remember that for this season my “one thing” is my family. What joy there is in simplifying and prioritizing!
Secondly, I just want to say how much I have loved this blog. I know that you were instrumental in starting it and keeping it running. So, with all my heart, I say “Thank you!”
May God refresh, rejuvenate, and revitalize you during this season off! But please don’t be a stranger around here- We will miss you too much!
Hugs,
Tara
Agreed!
Praise the Lord for you! This is a hard, hard decision..I did it over 10 years ago and the Lord blessed it IMMENSELY; even when Satan attacks… keep your eye on the ministry the Lord has set before you now.. those precious children and husband.. it won’t be there forever like it is now and you will NEVER regret it…I will pray for you Amanda… I am now easing back into an awesome ministry that has been tailor made for me and my family and you will too… every day has not been a walk in the park, but looking back, I wouldn’t trade a minute of it… God bless you and Curtis and your family as you navigate these new waters. God will keep you in his loving care …
Dear Amanda,
Thank you for paragraph 10. It was specifically for me…today…in THIS moment.
The battle is tough and the anxieties are many. I needed the reminder and if you read this and happen to think of me for any reason, would you mention my name to Him?
Blessings in this journey.
Dori
Absolutely. Praying right now.
Amanda,
I forgot to tell you that you have really blessed me with your writing over the years here at the blog and I’ll look forward to reading your thoughts again when you have time.
In the meantime, enjoy the babies before they go off to school. There are new mercies for those days, but I’m not kidding — they are hard and they go by fast!
Enjoy these precious, precious moments with Jackson and Annabeth.
Blessings,
Dori
I had to do the same thing about three years ago. I was in full time ministry as a creative arts pastor and once I had my munchkin, Ethan, there was no balance for me at all. I felt like I couldn’t give 100% anywhere (as you mentioned in your post) and I felt as though I was letting everyone down. I applaud Moms who work hard and pull double duty while succeeding at their careers because I just couldn’t do it, my brain was mush!
My munchkin is now entering kindergarten (WHAT!?!?!) and now I’m facing the other side of that decision…wondering what God has in store for me with all this extra time. I’m still not sure what the plan is, but I know that I made the right decision before and I know God has plans for me. I am very grateful that I was able to stay at home with Ethan but I am looking forward to this new chapter! I’ll be praying for a smooth transition for you and that you will be able to eat up every second with Jackson and Annabeth!
I will pray for you and your family. I made this same difficult decision about 2 years ago. After a year, my oldest started kindergarten, and my middle started pre-K, and I came back to work part-time. I learned a lot about myself and my family’s needs during that time and although full-time at home was not the right long-term decision for us, I’m glad I did it.
This post is so encouraging! Well done for making the tough decisions. I pray you will know countless blessings as you take this year to focus on your amazing family :0)
I’m not a wife or mother but I took a year out and it’s just coming to an end. I’m now in a place of being closer to God & being at peace with who I am and where I’m at. When we’re obedient to what He is asking us to do, then He does the most incredible & wonderful things with us & in us.
Much blessing to you. x
Blessings to you and your family, Amanda. I’m sure I’m not the only one who needed the reassurance of your last paragraph today…but, oh my, I did need it! Thank you.
Thank you so much for your post. I needed the ‘pray, pray, pray’ reminder. May God bless your beautiful family.
Tessa
Bless you Amanda!
Amanda, that’s what being a woman is, making choice that are right for you.
I have been on vacation and upon returning Monday I am seeing signs posted around town that say “Women’s Equality Day”. As I drive by and see these signs I am thinking Women’s Right was about our choice…whatever choice we make as a woman. It is our right, your right to choose what is best for you and your family, through God’s guidance.
There is no doubt that if you felt God leading you to make this decision it is the right choice.
Enjoy your time just being a mom for as long as God directs that path for you and we look forward to hearing about your adventures. In other words, dont’ be a stranger!
I think we need to re-define SuperMom! A mom who makes her family #1! A mom who loves her family more than any other prestige! A mom who does all she can for her family to her best ability! A mom who relys on Jesus Christ to get through the day! A mom who lets Scripture be her guide! A mom who is exhausted b/c she worked so hard to provide for her family! A mom!
Congratulations you too are a Supermom! Join in the fellowship of millions around the globe! We can make a difference in how others see our job, by doing our job to the Glory of God!
Thank you for sharing your heart. I know the difficult decision you made, I did it too. Thankfully having a support group is what makes it possible, even when the only support one has is our Heavenly Father!
Diana, you’re so right. I loved this.
I wish there was a “like” button 🙂
You made the absolute best decision in the world — but I SO know what you are talking about that Satan can convince us that we will no longer be important. And? I think we also never lose the desire to BELONG, and Satan convinces us that belonging to the amazing body of believers isn’t enough.
I am beyond desperate for my situation to change and God spoke right to me through your words. Thank you so much.
Amanda, you will be greatly missed, but I’ve been there (I’m still there) and I understand. It’s a lie to think we can have it all. You’re right, sacrifices are made every time we choose one thing over another. For every yes, there is a no somewhere else. But for every no, there is a yes somewhere else. We just need to make sure our yeses and nos are for the right things!
I pray that the Lord will continue to bless you and your family through this new season of life. Enjoy your little ones!
I believe you made the right choice, Amanda! You will be blessed beyond measure with the time you spend with your family and in serving them. You seem to be such an amazing mom…such loving, compassionate qualities! Enjoy this time!
I love your heart and compassion, sweet friend! I respect you so much and think the world of you. Truly. Thank you for always being such a wonderful example to me, I look up to you so much! Excited for this next year for you. I pray it’s a sweet, sweet time with Jackson and Annabeth!
Amanda, What a gift you are by your example to me, to make hard decisions and follow the Lord with what He has asked of you. Thankful for you.
Good for you Amanda. I’ve been a stay at home mom for 15 years and I wouldn’t trade a second of it. Not a second!!!!
Dear Amanda,
I can’t even fathom how difficult this decision was for you. I am praying for you and the LPM staff during this time of transition. May the Lord bless your decision to follow where He is leading.
peace –
Sister Lynn
Dearest Amanda,
Please keep us posted on your precious family. Do not ever doubt that you have made the right decision, of course you have! I was missing hearing from you, but now that I know the reason why, I am so relieved. In my prayers for you, and yours, I would worry about the why. You have your hands full with the work God has assigned for you in the form of a little boy and girl. There is no greater work for you to be doing during this season.It is hard to be a woman and God knows this to be true. Enjoy your time with your children, I sure did and do. I do so look forward to your next post, but if it is a while in coming I will know why, and say, “blesssed are her children.”
I love how you mentioned that the world tells us we can have it all. But you are so right, our choices always mean sacrifices as well. I think you are choosing a good thing. I hope you continue to post as you are able. Many blessings to you and your little ones at home. The legacy you are building is so very “important” in God’s eyes. Kudos to you for making a hard choice. Our first ministry should always be our families.
Amen ~
So proud of you! You’re doing the hard thing — and the right thing. Hugs from a stay-at-home mom who has now married off all 3 of her children (and, man, did it all go by in a flash) and is expecting her first grandchild in March.
So awesome that you get this wonderful opportunity!!
Amanda–
Thanks for your post and your courage to make the decision you felt was best for your life in this season AND for not listening to the lies the enemy wanted you to believe. My mother was a stay-at-home Mom and we lived a simplier lifestyle for her to do so. No amount of money could have meant as much to me as the memories of having her at home did. She died at the age of 51 and I truly treasure those times I was able to have with her. Please understand I am in no way condemning working mothers but for our family this was the best decision. We will miss you and look forward to the times you are able to post.
Oh, Amanda, thank you so much for sharing your heart with us and praying this season will be fruitful and be all that you want and more! 🙂
Amen, Amanda! You’re a wonderful Wife, Mommy and Daughter and will never regret the decision you’ve made to stay home with your family. Jackson & Annabeth will grow and change so quickly, now you’ll be there for those changes. Your Mom’s reaction is nothing less than I would’ve expected of her–she’s a Mom first, too and of course, Bibby to those two beautiful babies of yours.
Thank you for sharing this with us, we’re all grateful for all the time you’ve put into Siestaville and look forward to hearing from you when time permits.
Gig’em and God Bless!
I hear you Amanda! I am 28 and a mom of 2 young boys. I work at home as an illustrator (www.katiemoon.net). And it is HARD to feel divided between the two (work and family). People always think its the perfect setup to work at home and be a mom… but I think it might be harder than actually GOING to a job and being able to concentrate on ONE thing at a time! Kudos to you and Curtis for your decision. I’m sure even more blessings are coming your way for making the very brave and even sacrificial decision. God is faithful and good. Praise Him! I know this isn’t the end of hearing from you either! 🙂 It’s just not the right season of your life for all of this. But seasons do change (at least where I’m from!)…
Thanks for the update. I have missed your posts and have been concerned about your absence. Once again you are showing that you are wise beyond your years.
Today is our 38th anniversary and a day of reflection. I know that I don’t regret a moment that I was home with our children. And I am confident that you won’t be either.
Terri
Loved your perspective, Terri, from farther down the road than where I stand. What it is to be able to say, “I don’t regret a moment that I was home with our children.”
I needed to hear this today from an older, wiser sister. Thanks ~
Way to go Amanda. I know that was a tough decision and not made without much prayer. I also know and believe God will prove himself faithful. I will, however, be looking for an update on your beautiful family. Cold turkey withdrawl from your precious little ones is just cruel.
Jan
So happy for you Amanda. God willing, you will have many years to live out your LPM heritage. Only this next year to serve as mother so fully with Jackson. Praying God blesses these next 12 months in a major way.
Wow I admire your decision to take a step back right now and focus on your family. I know it wasn’t easy. May God Bless you Amanda abundantly!
Thanks for sharing your heart. I admire your obedience and know the Lord will overwhelmingly bless you and your family because of it. So often we hear about the “big” opportunities…the travels, the jobs, the opportunities for service…i would love for more to be said and taught about the role of motherhood and the important job that it is. Raising these children to the glory of God is no small feat. I want to do it well, and I don’t want to be distracted with any other “good” stuff if it isn’t the very best that God wants for me. Proverbs 4:25-27 is what I refer to as my spiritual blinders “Let YOUR eyes look directly forward, and YOUR gaze be straight before YOU. Ponder the path of YOUR feet; then all YOUR ways will be sure. Do not swerve to the right or to the left; turn YOUR foot from evil.”
Looking forward to hearing more from you! Us moms are out here and will gladly hear you!
Congratulations Amanda!! It is hard to make decisions like these especially when we are in ministry. For some reason Satan loves to convince us that if we aren’t “doing”something then we aren’t being used. I agree with Dianne – you are a SUPERMOM!!!
I will never forget the first time I heard your mom say “No amount of success in ministry can make up for failure at home.” It hit me right in my gut and made me do a lot of soul-searching and changing. Mine was almost too late. I am celebrating this decision with you and praying that God will wrap a hedge of protection around your heart and mind to guard against the attacks of the enemy that will try to convince you of anything to the contrary. This is one time when “Mother is ALWAYS Right!”
God Bless you and your sweet family as you continue in the ministry you were created for.
So happy for you Amanda.
I know it wasn’t an easy decision!
3 years ago I walked away from working part-time making verrrry good money to be a stay home mom. And I loooved my job, helping people learn to walk again… it was so rewarding emotionally. Today, when financial struggles hit (home a/c going out, car needing brakes, etc etc), I often feel ‘guilty’ for not bringing in the $ I was, but with the support of my husband, we agree that our children and our home needs to come first. I can always work when they’re older and don’t need me as much. And I consider it a blessing to be ABLE to do this.
So many people don’t have this choice though, I didn’t til my oldest was 9 years old. So I’m especially grateful now to be able to make this sacrifice. Trust me, it’s a sacrifice to not have extra income, eat dinner out more, go on more family vacations… but I truly believe the payoff in the end is worth it for my children!
So I get ya, girl.
I get ya.
God bless you Amanda!
If you have the chance to be a strictly stay at home mom, then you are definately making the right choice. I pray that one day I will get to do just that and can stop sending my kids to day care! Only in God’s timing!
Amanda…I’ll give you that “Amen!” Mommyhood is DANG hard! I have Addie Grace who just turned 4 in June and Jackson who just turned 2 in June! I could write all day about how exhausting/wonderful/exhausting/beautiful/you-get-the-point it is! Can I just mention that my sweet tempered-super compliant (in comparison to strong willed sista’) little Jackson man just decided to throw his first fit yesterday! Let me clarify, um not a fit, more like there was some small angry alien inside the body of my two year old and once being taken from the Thomas the train table at Mardels decided that it was time to make a its presence very known. Screaming and writhing that brought the looks of everyone in the store! A woman on her cell phone looked so horrified, I thought she might flee! Being this the first tantrum, well I was tempted to take a video on my phone, but decided that might be just to much for the Mardel’s patrons to handle, so I refrained. Whew. I am hoping that was isolated, but I think we have entered a new era. Sigh. Anyways, I’m glad you get to say a few more “yes’s” during the day. I feel many times that there just aren’t enough of those around here. We recently moved towards a much more scheduled routine here at home in an effort to get everyone the time they need. We’ll see how that works. Just got back from Library time…I think I’m ready for a nap. Can I get an “Amen!” 🙂 Have a great fall!
Heather in Borger Texas
Oh Amanda, I loved reading this and seeing how you are just doing what’s right for your family right now. Not everyone is called to be a stay-at-home mom, but for now, you are. And that’s a special blessing. I have worked off-and-on while my three daughters were younger (as an adjunct professor, so it was fairly easy to do most of my work from home). I needed an outlet when they were younger. Funny thing is, as they got older I felt more called to be home for them. Not everyone operates that way, and that’s fine, but that’s how it’s worked out for us. My oldest just left for college and my other two are in 11th and 7th grades, and just now God is bringing some new, fun opportunities my way to speak and to write and, perhaps, to teach again. At times it has been hard to wait on His leading, but I’m so glad I did.
I think it’s so important to listen to His voice and follow His leading for your family. Every situation is unique.
Can relate entirely, Amanda! Especially the “he needed me to say yes.” part. And the exciting first time for my 1 (almost 2y/o) to go to Mother’s Day Out & My 4 y/o to go to preschool meaning we get to become reacquainted with our home alone. I don’t know you, but blogs have a way of tricking us into feeling like we are friends with those we follow instead of strangers, especially when our lives have so many similarities. Anyway, I completely appreciate reading your transparent posts.
Thank you so much for this post. You will never know how truly timely it was. I had just set down at my desk feeling as you so adequately put it, “frustrated and discouraged as an employee and as a mother.”, and for myself I have to add as a wife as well when I read this on my google reader. I have not heard my answer from God about what I should do, but I am reminded through this post that my prayers are not falling on deaf ears, and through prayer my answer will come. Thank you for encouraging and praying for me today.
O Amanda, you are so doing the right thing. My “babies” are 23, 20 & 17 & many times I wish I had spent more time with them when they were little, appreciated them more, done more! In those days the buzz words were”quality time”, & we stay at home moms were made to feel inferior because we might have had the quantity but we didn’t have the quality! Well, I don’t think you can really have quality time without quantity time. But, be sure to have your “Me” time too. Bless you, my sister.
Oh Amanda…this is one you will never regret…struggle with maybe but never regret. I have had to reevaluate over and over through my 44 years and am currently doing it again. Only the Lord can show us the right equation in each stage of our lives. I heard that quote from your mom a few years back and now it rests in the pages of my Bible as a reminder. Your action will encourage and challenge many…it’s odd how little store we put in the power of a act made in obedience to Him. We see worth for ourselves in the doing of ministry and work more than in the act of obedience to Him. I believe one day we will stand in awe of what He has done with our obedience!
with loving affirmation,
Beth
So glad for you that you were able to make the right, hard decision! I think parenting is always about re-evaluating your involvements. A few years ago I had to step back from being over-involved in community and church because I felt like my kids were suffering. I constantly have to be on guard because I KNOW one of satan’s plows is busyness and boy is it easy to get too busy these days!! From one mom to another – WAY TO GO AMANDA!!
I have no words. Your post touched a place deep in my soul, and I cried as I read it. Amanda, you are a woman who honors God above all else, and you inspire us to do the same! Thank-you.