Hey, Girls! You are doing such a fabulous job with your group discussion. I’ve especially loved watching you respond to one another. You really are such a tremendous and unique community of women. I’m honored to journey with you here. Let’s continue hearing from all those who have been active from the beginning but let’s also hear from more of you out there who are watching and reading but haven’t really jumped in here and participated. I promise you that when we wrap this thing up, you will be far more satisfied with the experience if you personally invested in it.
We are reaching the halfway point in our journey and have arrived at a place of utmost importance in our pursuit of wholeness. Your assignment this week is based on only one chapter of the book: CHAPTER 9. As you will soon discover, it is not a chapter you just read. It’s a chapter you actually do. A chapter you actually pray. Please take it seriously. Everything ahead of us hinges on this experience. It is placed at this point in the journey prior to the prescriptive and practical phase of the book so that the way is cleared and our dignity restored enough to move forward. It will help place us in a posture God can bless with the rich kind of confidence He wants for His people and activate the power we have within us to think and FEEL differently. That’s essentially where the remainder of the book heads.
Here are your very simple assignments this week:
1. Do (don’t just read but actually do) Chapter Nine. In your comment to this post, simply reflect back on your time with God and share anything specific that you received from it.
2. Go to last Saturday’s post (3/6/10) and look at all the verses in the comment section. You will find a wellspring! Pick five Scriptures that speak most powerfully to you right now – five that you feel like you need the most – and write them on the inside of the back cover of the book. (This should be a lot less intimidating than what I asked you to write inside the front cover at the beginning of our journey!)
And that’s it for this week! I want the prayer journey to stand by itself and clear the way for mighty works ahead. We have some of our most eye-opening moments in the second half so stay with it, Girls!
Since we only have one chapter this week, this is a great time for many of us to play catch-up!
I am packing this very moment and about to head to Toronto for our first 2010 Living Proof Live. We can’t wait to see a God-show in Canada! Come on, Canadian Sisters! We’ve got plenty of room for you!
I love all of you very much.
Michelle 
Ali
Dublin, Ohio
30
Married
God continues to amaze me with this book. Each and everyday I find myself in a situation that requires a conscious choice to react/behave/engage as an insecure or a secure Ali. It is so beautiful to say to myself, "No, that is how you would react if you were insecure, but you are not. You are regaining your dignity that God gave you. Now go forth in confidence!"
This last chapter has helped me to further process this and solidify who I am in Christ. What an awesome, awesome journey.
There was a season of my life where I did pray using my entire body (kneeling, face down, stand-up, etc), but after being married and now with a child I have not used that type of prayer and expression in a while. It was so healing to come to God using my mind, body, and soul! To put my all into it! I was amazed at how I filled out the blanks, but then the prayer written in the book said the same thing just used different words. The prayer was so encompassing that for a moment I felt overwhelmed by all that my insecurity is rooted in. It felt like I have too much to work on. But, then I remembered that Iâm giving/gave it to God and he can work out the details by leading my way! I have also felt amazed that certain things I do, think about, or react to are actually due to my insecurity. It just seemed like they were due to something else that I couldnât put my finger on. I also find it healing that my main motivation to read the book was to be well informed before the simulcast and for the other women Iâm inviting. Then I found out I have much more to deal with than I thought. I thank God for leading me to this book, this BLOG, and this simulcast. He is GOOD!
Michelle
30âs, MI
Married
I'm reading the most current posts and just realized I never entered my thoughts from Week 4 – so here goes…
1. What hit home about Chapter 7 was "abuse" – I lived for 22 years in a marriage of abuse – my husband talked the walk but did not walk the walk – he only talked it to hide his addiction which landed him in prison – The abuse I suffered was not physical but it left scars on the inside just the same…the abuse was emotional, mental, spiritual. Nothing I ever did was good enough or right and never would be…it was impossible to achieve the perfection that was expected of me because that kind of perfection was impossible. Thank the Lord that He saved me from that life.
2. Top 3 reasons I need to deal with insecurities now…
A. Addressing the thought of not being good enough (the over achieving for approval and acceptance – I've come a long way from where I was but the scar rears its ugly head from time to time)
B. Deal with over communicating (to justify my insecurity)
C. Deal with trusting men – like Beth said in the pre-simulcast – I ultimately need to trust me!!!! That was an eye opener – thank you Beth. Really gave me something to think about.
3. A trigger of my insecurity is any time any one over questions me – where are you going, why are you going, who are you going with, when will you be back – my ex did this constantly and I had to justify my every move and even ask permission to go somewhere (and permission was not always granted). So if someone innocently gets in this question mode, it pushes that button and gets a rise out of me. And it makes me mad when I allow that to happen but there is still that tiny scar left nudging me. Those abuse scars run deep.
4. Dignity is a combination of humility and integrity. Being worthy.
Beth & Siestas – I can't tell you how the reading of scripture after scripture in the blog has moved me knowing they are attached to so many like me with dormant insecurities lurking. We all share such a bond thru this study on the blog that it blows me away. It's a God thing. I am so glad that I am a part of this and can't wait until the simulcast.
Cinders
Amherst OH
50s / Single
Molly
43, single (never married)
California
This could be said about Chapter 9 … Molly wept.
It was a very powerful time and to attempt to put more words to my experience doesn't quite seem possible.
Thank you, Beth for going before us on this and once again letting God have his way with you and now us. I'm especially thankful for the last paragraph on page 169 that talks about pulling up the roots that were not my own doing.
Misti
36
married
I am completely amazed at how God orchestrates circumstances. In the midst of of a season where He has opened my eyes to my deep need for security and wholeness, He has spoken directly to that need in this chapter. I found myself, over and over again, in awe over how the words I was reading out loud were exactly what my heart was screaming. Thanks for listening so intently to the LORD, Beth.
Deborah
50
married
CT
I am one who highlights (no not in my hair, I just dye the whole head; but highlights in my reading)
These were parts that spoke to me and I have highlighted in yellowâŠI might go back with a different color as yellow is associated with cowardâs and I am no coward!!!
âI have shortchanged myself and allowed my culture to sell me short.â
âReveal any place they reside uncontested in me, and supply the courage I need to refuse their bidding.â
âI donât need to hide anything from you or act stronger than I am.â
âYou look beyond the point of my failure to the depth of my need. As you reveal Yourself to me, I ask that you also mercifully reveal myself to me. Grant me insight into patterns Iâve developed, and give me answers that bring healing.â
âHelp me to trust You only to shed light where Youâre willing to heal.â
ââŠhelp me to take responsibility for the insecurity that is my doing. My fault. My own sin.â
âForgive me for my miserable self absorption.â
âFor give me for thinking pitifully little of the person you made me. Forfive me for committing the flagrant sin of despising myself and considering my self inferior to others.â
I stopped typing and skipped a lot as I realized I am almost rewriting chapter 9!
âDonât stop until Youâve made me a miracle of me.â
So much more has been highlighted and used of God to speak to meâŠ
Thank you, Beth for stepping out and up for the cause of women everywhere.
Wow. Hard, yet good words. Forced myself to speak the truth that the Holy Spirit gave to Beth to share with us. Feel the weight is lifted and have specific words to return to each time I feel insecure.
Janae
40's
Riverside,PA
Married
I read the chapter yesterday. I could feel God's presence right in the room with me. I do feel like I am finally healing from within.
Sandie
30's
Single
Knoxville, TN
Sarah
23
NEWLY married đ
Tennessee
I'm just now getting caught up to where everyone else is on the blog, and what a fabulous time to join in.
I finished chapter 9 yesterday and found such relief in giving it all to God. I agree with Wendy (TickledPink4U) that it is really scary though! And why? I have no idea. It's not like we're giving Him something we'd rather hold on to, we're giving Him our BAD stuff – our insecurities! Shouldn't we be thrilled to give it up? Even though it was scary, I'm so glad I did it.
On March 15, 2010, I got my dignity back. I AM clothed in strength and dignity.
Amazing how God has in his perfect timing used several things I am involved in presently to show me his desires for me in breaking free of my insecurities. I have always avoided conflict in order to keep the peace and hence denied myself the significance of my opinions and feelings. Or when I did express them, it was not done in a way that looked the way God would have had me say them. I am finding the courage through my Savior to communicate things that i know need to be said and has been such a break through for me and my relationships. The prayer in Chapter 9 was amazing and spoke to me – I will keep it close and use it often. Thank you for this book and the freedom it is bringing. Praise to our Amazing God. Much Love
Merrie
Married
50's
Texas
It took me a few days to DO chapter 9. I needed to stop to absorb, to pause in wonder at how the Lord was speaking and revealing to me the damage I have caused through my insecurity. I needed to own it, confess and repent. I also paused in wonder at understanding the parts of it that were deposited in me through no doing of my own. Our God is awesome.I feel as if a veil has been lifted and I am beginning to truly see what the Lord has done for me. I actually feel like someone who has been freed from captivity. By the time we were finished, I left with peace and a desire/determination to walk this freedom out. I love the Lord.
I have gone back to that Saturday post and read many of the verses over. Every time I do, I sense the presence of God and the power of HIS Word. Isaiah 41:10, 46:4, Psalm 44:3, Deut, 2:3 were among the many verses that touched my heart.
Marcia/Portland, OR/married/50s
On Sunday evening, my daughter had her weekly church activity, so instead of dropping her off, I sat in my truck for about 2 hours. It was cloudy, a little rainy and so nice and quiet. It was there that I read chapter 9, just me and God.
I wont say that my insecurities are behind me and I'm a brand new person now, but that time to just sit and talk to God alone was so refreshing.
When I got to the part where you list people who have shown you glimpses of the Lord, one friend immediately popped in my head. But at the same time I didn't want to put her name down because she brings out some of my insecurity….yuck. What a poor attitude. But I had to fight that feeling and put her name down (in pen!) I created my own insecurity when it comes to her as the prayer speaks about on page 167.
I am much more aware of my insecurities now, but in a good way. I am able to make a conscious "choice" about where those thoughts and feelings will take me.
Married, 40's
Virginia
I just did Chapter 9 and was so overcome by how much hit home with the prayer. I asked God to make it mine. Not just words I was reading off a page… and He did. There were so many things revealed to me. Things I know I will need to continue to pray about and give over to God. Healing is there, it is mine for the taking. God is so gracious to give it. God is at work and He is amazing. I am His gift, His precious daughter. I am not afraid of change, I will not live in the past, longing for delayed or unanswered dreams. I am where God has placed me TODAY, I am who He has made me TODAY, and I will live in His wholeness and wellness TODAY and every day after!
Lisa
36
Married
Virginia
Zonia
Married
Arlington, Tx
This chapter has or should I say praying that prayer has given me something I havent had for a long time….peace. I cried and cried and at the end there was a sense of peace and victory. I think the sense of victory comes from knowing (finally!!)how much God loves me. I know that after this book, I am going to have the tools to walk with confidence, not just any confidence. It will be the confidence my Heavenly Father has given me. I cannot wait!!
Thank you,Beth!! Words cannot express what reading your book and going along with all these ladies on your blog has done for me. Thank You, to all those ladies who posted some amazing scriptures!!
To ANONYMOUS AT 2:16 FROM FLORIDA.
In the battle of life we need to be 'strong and courageous'. So, I encourage you to clothe yourself in strength and read Ch.9
Our God is HUGE and can more than fill your void of loneliness. You need to believe His word is TRUTH and that He is who He says He is and that He can do what He says He can do. I often pray aloud, "Lord Help my unbelief". Because, no matter what our emotions make us feel, HE IS ALL WE TRULY NEED.
GOD BLESS,
SD CA
49
Married (I have moved from state to state pretty much all of my life and though I have a good marriage, Yet, I often feel lonely. I make it through because I know my God is able to comfort me and be my companion in those moments.
Did chapter 9 yesterday. Cried a bit. Some heavy chains fell OFF. Did you hear them as they hit the floor? All morning satan has been trying to trip me up, but I would have none of it! I picked a few more thatn 5 verses, but I figured you wouldn't mind. I may just have to put that post into my favorites so it is only a click away at all times! Have a great week, Siestas!
Joan
Portage, MI
40's
Married
Nora, 30's, married, Louisiana
As it turned out, I had some alone time Sunday afternoon after church. My husband had to work and my three children actually napped! God knew I needed that time and that prayer. I took a blanket outside, spread it on the grass, looked up to the amazingly blue skies, and soaked in the beautiful spring day and beautiful words on the pages. Even though I was alone, I felt a little awkward reading out loud at first, but it was so much more powerful that way. I felt such a peace rush over my soul. I couldn't help but constantly think of my 4 1/2 year old daughters and how I long for them to grow up full of self worth and dignity. Loved it and felt His hand on me. It was by far the best 45 minutes of my day! (of course when the 4.5 year olds woke up their 3 year old brother, all hope for peace and quiet was dashed…such is our crazy life !)
I just finished the chapter assignment this morning! Wow!! Thank you Jesus. I found it to be so freeing on many different levels.
So enjoyed the verse in Proverbs 31 about "clothing yourself with dignity!"
Amen-So Be It.
It is/was so comforting to know God already knew what I would be feeling and shedding as I spoke this prayer aloud and from the deepest true part of me. No other love like His! That was the best part… feeling His love envelop me.
Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be terrified; do not be discouraged, for the LORD your God will be with you wherever you go."
Joshua 1:9 NIV
"You will keep in perfect peace him whose mind is steadfast, because he trusts in you."
Isaiah 26:3
Do you not know? Have you not heard? The Lord is the everlasting God, the Creator of the ends of the earth. He will not grow tired or weary, and his understanding no one can fathom. He gives strength to the weary and increases the power of the weak. Even youths grow tired and weary, and young men stumble and fall; but those who hope in the Lord will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint. (Isaiah 40:28-31 NIV)
"Have you lost your senses? After starting your Christian lives in the Spirit, why are you now trying to become perfect by your own human effort?" Gal.3:3 NLT
He will cover you with his feathers, and under his wings you will find refuge; his faithfulness will be your shield and rampart. Ps 91:4
Beth,
Just finished Chapter 9 last night before going to sleep. I believe that was the most beautiful prayer I have ever prayed. It opened my eyes to some hurt that over the years I have folded and refolded and stuffed and restuffed, totally believing I had dealt with it all. But last night I asked God to take it for the last time and heal it. Don't allow me to take it back. I will pray this over and over.
Jan single
50's
Kansas
Wow! Reading these comments have been just as powerful as reading chapter 9. God is so good!
Like so many of the others here, this prayer read as though it was coming from inside me. The words really resonated and gave me such a sense of peace. It felt as though God was showing me all the areas in my life that needed to be exposed and sorted out. I'm so thankful to my Sunday school class for introducing me to Beth's books and for her God-given ability to reach and teach us. Thank you so much. Prayers to everyone on here to keep on persevering.
Salina, Hindman Kentucky, 30's, married
As I read and prayed chapter nine this verse came to mind:
"So I will restore to you the years that the swarming locust has eaten, the crawling locust, the consuming locust, and the chewing locust … And My people shall never be put to shame. Then you shall know that I am in the midst of Israel: I am the LORD your God, and there is no other. My people shall never be put to shame." Joel 2:25a, 26b, 27 (NKJV) Thank you Lord!
And then I had this memory/image come back to me âŠ
Last June we made a visit to Niagara Falls (Ontario), where I saw a beautiful bride walking down the crowded streets of the city, trying to make her way to the downtown hotel, with her bridal party traipsing behind her. She held her dress in both hands, so as to not get it soiled on the dirty pavement. She walked quickly and with determination down the crooked and narrow sidewalk. We were careful to move around her and let her pass with her big beautiful dress and all. She certainly wasn't noticing any of us … her eyes were on that hotel, where her groom was waiting. She seemed so out of place walking in the crowds! Didn't she belong in a garden, or in a gazebo, a church, or in a limousine, or with her groom? It made me think how we too, stand out – beautiful princess brides, clothed in His righteousness, clothed with strength and dignity. Oh, that we would have eyes to see how beautiful we are to Him. To walk with purpose, to keep our eyes on our Beloved, for in Him, is security, fulfillment, and a satisfying love.
âWho is this coming up from the wilderness, leaning upon her beloved?â S S 8:5
âHis left hand is under my head and His right hand embraces me.â S S 2:6
He who touches you, touches the apple of His eye. He will redeem the years the locusts have eaten.
Oh that I would always see myself in the light of eternity … looking into my Groomâs loving and fiery eyes… in Him is security and belongingâŠ
Oh Lord give us eyes to see, ears to hear, and a mind to comprehend all You are, and all You have planned for us, plans to give us hope and a future!
Praying for us,
Beth
Toronto, Ontario
I have a PRAISE REPORT!!!
God showed me that my insecurity of not finding my identity/approval in Christ alone was causing me to be fearful of other's opinions of me and compromise who I am in Christ around my unbelieving family…therefore keeping them from seeing Christ in me. God has performed a miracle in this specific matter over the past 2 weeks…GOD IS WORKING!
I am 27 years old, no kids, but for the past 2 years after my last job ended, God has called me to a season of not working and just spending that time in His Word. My family thinks this is crazy and a waste of time. At first I remained confident in God and what He was doing (I desperately needed this quiet time with Him), but now, after 2 years I find myself starting to listen to my family's questions and even started asking them myself.
2 weeks ago my big sister questioned my sanity (literally) for not working and just waiting on God's timing. She was genuinely concerned about my mind, not really meaning to question my faith. But, insecurity mounted up in me and I became so fearful that she is right. I felt God calling me to either fully identify with Him, seeking His approval alone no matter what my family says, and go deeper, or quit.
For the next 2 weeks God brought me to a deeper level with Him through that. I'm starting to find my identity/security in Him alone, not letting my family's opinions of me dictate how I act/what I say around them.
This past weekend I was with my sister again and God led me to "be myself (who I am in Him!)" and talk with her openly about my faith without fear of what she thinks of me. It was AMAZING! He put words in my mouth and I shared my testimony, and the gospel (heck, I thought, she already thinks I'm loon…let me give her some proof then!) BUT, INSTEAD OF WHAT I EXPECTED, She began asking me her deepest questions about God and God recalled scriptures left and right I had memorized last year to answer her with. It was like God had turned the tables around from 2 weeks ago and I was standing firm on the Truth, and He was shaking up her belief system with the Truth! I was so excited to be used by Him in her life! I'm still in awe…
I am praying for God to continue answering her questions, but one HUGE thing I learned was this: Unless you find your security/identity in Christ ALONE, Christ's light in you will remain dim or hidden to those around you, and no one will really ever see Christ in and through you. It wasn't until I gave over fully to Christ, risking losing my sister's favor of me altogether, that she saw Jesus Christ as alive and real in my life.
Please keep praying for her salvation, thank you Beth for writing this book…
Katie
Russellville, AL
27
Married
Julie
Richmond, VA
30s – married
"Make me the kind of woman a little girl could follow to dignity and security."
That sentence pretty much says why I'm after this freedom – not just for me, but my girls and others that I get to cross paths with.
I prayed chapter nine very heart-felt one night before going to bed, and the next day crazy things were happening, and I went back again to see what it was I had prayed. I found peace and laughter and my answers of why these things were happening, but they didnât stop there⊠God continues to teach me.
I am a giraffe keeper: One night the heater in the barn had stopped working. That meant that I could not open the doors for them to go outside, we didnât want to make the barn colder, so I had no trouble shifting the giraffes that were in the back two stalls of the barn to the front large stall. My problem came when I had closed the last shift door behind the last giraffe. I had gotten the pin into place and was putting it into the door to lock the door shut when all of a sudden the door moved. I was about one centimeter away from the pin being in the door, and the hole on the door moved away from the pin. I tried to adjust the door but all of a sudden the door started opening! What? I tried pushing the door closed and it wouldnât budge, the inches started to become a foot opening and I was found in what could be a very bad place. I looked inside the stall, and all the giraffes in that stall were looking at me from the center of it. Thank goodness. I looked up, and nineteen feet in the air was our bull giraffeâs head from the neighboring side stall pushing on my door. âNo! You cannot do that! I was told that when the door is shut, you wouldnât open it! You would only play with it as I was closing it, and you didnât do that, you lost your chance.â Franticly, I started trying to push the door closed with all my might and yelling at the giraffe⊠please believe me when I say that you cannot over power a giraffe even when it is only his head that you are tangling with nineteen feet away. After what seemed a small eternity of maintaining pressure on the door, he decided to let me finally shut the door and place the pin in it to lock it shut. After a few minutes of catching my breath, I started laughing at my new lesson in giraffe shifting⊠be quicker.
God allowed me to see this: I have been studying about breaking free of strongholds in my life, God reveals lies that I have believed and as they are revealed I am tearing them down and replacing them with Godâs Truth. Since I have been back to work, I have been tested on many things that I have learned in my four month lay-off, and when I realize that I am falling back into believing a variation of a lie I had torn down and thought I had shut the door on⊠I thank God for again revealing to me what I do not want to have running over in my life. No matter how hard I try to keep the door closed on a stronghold, I will fail. Only God can completely close the door on a nineteen foot issue. Satan will âplayâ with the door as I am trying to close it, and he will try to trap me with his lies into a place that I feel I can not get out of, and right when I think the door is finally closed and almost locked he will slowly start nudging it open again from a distance. Only God with His Truth can tear down those lies and close the door and seal it, I can not do it on my own, I will fail. Thank God that the quicker I stand with Him on a nineteen foot stronghold, the sooner He will take care of it and allow the door to be shut and locked down protecting me from it and from any variation of that stronghold.
Teresa
Bardstown, KY
30âs Married
Christine
30
married. đ
Chapter 9. Oh, blessed, beautiful Chapter 9…. ahhhhhhh. I hate you and I love you.
I can see I'm not the only one who had some serious and precious time with our God through this prayer time. For me it was equal parts gut-wrenching and healing.
So I just sat and cried as I prayed, and just when I thought I didn't know what else to say, Beth said it for me. Whoa. Beth, let me confirm to you that this was OF THE LORD. Fo reals. This prayer was written from my heart and somehow, some way it got into Beth's and onto the pages of this book. Scary. đ Here are a few of my most poignant moments:
*You know how hard I've fought to play the game… I'm sick of faking.
*You have not shortchanged me. (because I still feel this to be true on some level and it's horrible.)
*You know what shuts me down. (or ahem, WHO shuts me down.)
*In the most hidden places I am so afraid that… if I was really ME, no one would find me fun or interesting or funny or that I don't have anything particularly refreshing to offer.
Whoa.
*Your desire is for me to be free from every unhealthy motivation. (Ok, I actually offered to be someone's surrogate mother but for ALL the wrong reasons. After I told my husband what I did, he was amazing, and told me I needed to give a little call back. Yeah, that was embarrassing.)
*As you reveal yourself to me, I ask that You also mercifully reveal myself to me. (I'm so afraid of not ever finding ME. MY personality. I've mooched off of everyone else's for so long)
So all in all, I'm full of hope but vulnerable. Scared to find myself, worried I never will. IF I do, worried it won't be stunning enough for my taste. A bit weary. Encouraged.
*Forgive me for the jealousy and covetousness that feed my insecurity. For turning too many things into competitions. For despising myself and considering myself inferior to others. For every time I've sighed in relief at the thought that I might be superior after all. (Such a weird and crazy mix)
*If I realized how valuable I am, my insatiable need for affirmation would be quieted.
*Help me see where I am overly sensitive and where I put too much pressure on my relationships. Help me see where I insist on making the situation all about me. (I always want to be the star, the hero, the favorite)
*Make me the kind of woman my little girl could follow to dignity and security. (It was seeing insecurity begin to rise up in my 3 year old that put the fire under me to do this thing!)
Anyway, whoa. Whoa. Whoa.
Thank you Beth for writing this. And for creating this amazing place.
Mindy
Oakdale, CA
30s
Single
So, I had completed chapters 7 and 8 early, but when I came to chapter 9 I STOPPED.
Being the perfectionist that I am, I wanted the situation to be 'just right'. For several days, I told myself that things were not the way they needed to be and continued to procrastinate (ironic, right!?!).
On Saturday, March 14th, I decided to designate time to God. After my children went to bed, I sat on the floor and bowed my head.
At first, it was difficult to talk out loud (it seemed silly with no one around). But once I started, it was rather refreshing to hear the words Beth had written flow from my mouth with such truth and relevance. There were several moments that brought me to tears – mostly having to do with truths that I have denied or ignored for years!
I do have one question… Would it diminish the moment to go through this prayer again (and again)?
I realize that this is supposed to be a break-through 'moment', but I would love for the things in this prayer to become embedded (I was once told that 7 times was the key number for memory). I am looking forward to the healing part of this process, but really feel like I need to spend more time in prayer and confession before moving forward. What would you suggest?
Love and blessings to you ALL!
Alexis
Steilacoom, WA
30's
married
Oh Beth! I felt so filled with the holy spirit when I read Chapter 9. I am also currently doing breaking free in my womens bible study and watching you on Wed. Funny how it all goes together! Thank you for doing what so many of us needed to do. I long to break free from all the insecurity I am wrapped up in!
This is my second comment so let's see if I can keep it quick:
To Anonymous from 7:35 on Sat :
Bless you for encouraging me with your comment on my comment. Isn't God just the coolest? Wanted you to know that bit about "my teacher is Yah" is from the Patriarchs study by Beth. It was in the context of Mt. Moriah being the first "show 'n tell" of the cross.
Thanks so much for sharing with me.
Okay, I have been doing SLI at home and have been very hesitant to post my comments. I need to jump on the wagon at the half way point. My insecurity has been put to the test!!!!!! I am hanging in. The scriptures verses have been a God Send. Thank You.
Let's play catch up.
Married
30's
North Carolina
Week 1:
1. The fact I am about to blog with hundreds of women with a much larger knowledge base of the bible. Does intimidation mean anything! Thanks for the the NO INTIMIDATION ZONE.
2. Lack of confidence and self doubt.
Week #2:
1. Financial Success
2. Jesus is not un healthy. Not codependent with us. His strength is made perfect in our weakness. He has no dark side. In him is no darkness at all.
3. Eve, I have not found a fig leaf that I can hide behind and then protray that cute curvey figure.
Week 3:
1. Instability in the home and significant loss.
2. The roots of insecurity can be very debilating to ones self-esteem and confidence which continouisly feeds ones insecurity. I have always felt no matter how difficult my childhood was, I would not change a thing. I can accept it and realize it has made me who I am today. In my growing relationship with God I feel he will continue to speak to me and provide me the strength I need to face my insecurities.
Ashley
38
Married
Mandeville, La
I prayed this prayer one afternoon while my 2 year old was sleeping. I prayed God would block out all outside distractions (especially phone calls). I received such a blessing from Him. When I was done 5 minutes later the phone must have rang 5 times in 30 minutes đ
God opened my eyes and heart to so many areas in my life where insecurity is causing my life to be less than what God wants for me.
The section where we were to describe ourselves was really hard. I couldn't describe myself because I haven't been "me" in so long I have forgotten…
But since I have prayed that prayer I have a feeling of peace. I want to take back what I have given up so foolishly. I want to be who God made me to be. He is the creator, the perfect creator…
Sandy
40's
Winkler, MB Canada
Thank you Beth for Chapter 9. I cried through the whole thing. There were times when I just had to stop until I could see through the tears and speak aloud again. I feel so released. I feel so free to be who God intended me to be. To not rate myself according to others. Thank you Beth for following God so that each one of us could speak the words that He gave you so that we could find the healing power that we so desperately needed from God. What a great gift Chapter 9 has been for me.
I approached Chap 9 with more seriousness than the rest of the book so far. I was a bit scared… Afterall, if we're praying, this is serious! I had some thoughts as to what God would have for me. So many changes have been occurring already in the last 18 mos., I kinda thought I knew where I was headed. WELL!!! Was I ever in for a surprise!
I have a long history of depression, frequently requiring intervention and hospitalization due to suicidal or self-harming behaviors. I have a history of cutting, with shameful scars on the inside of my left arm that cannot be erased or disguised. I have been feeling much better this past year, though, and haven't cut for about a year. I always had the idea in my head that I can always resort back to it if need be.
When we got to the confession part of the prayer, I was pretty sure Beth had covered all the areas in her narrative. But when I asked God what else I needed to ask forgiveness for… "for hurting myself, and for desiring to and trying to end my life." Big stuff, right? Suddenly and without warning, the Holy Spirit came to remind me that I still have a pack of razor blades hidden away in my bathroom drawer! Oh my word!! I have kept them in secret "just in case", like having a "secure" outlet for when I'm in such terrible emotional pain. It became so very quickly obvious that God wants me to throw away those razors! Or to take them to a trusted spiritual mentor and make my confession in front of a witness! Oh my sakes!!
I do not know just yet what I am going to do, but I do know that I have to do something. I have to act on this. My security needs to be in God, not a pack of razors that ultimately cause more shame and embarrassment. Please, dear sisters, please pray for me. I am scared. I am also afraid that if I do not act soon, I'll be able to put it aside and forget about it. Then, what was the point of reading this beautiful book Beth has written?
Please, please. I covet your prayers.
Kristi
Philadelphia
40's
married
I was able to have a wonderful prayer time yesterday evening. The prayer in chapter nine has been the most wonderful blessing. Yesterday also happen to be our last class of "Believing God" and I feel like in so many ways the two go hand in hand. I am able to boldly approach the throne of an Almighty God and trust that He hears every cry sent His way. I am certain that the bondage of insecurity is on its way out!!! Praise God! He is so good!
Chapter 9 hit smack dab in the middle of a very difficult time in my life. God has been working like crazy, in very personal ways, to set me free from myself! I have been doing the Breaking Free study for the past 8 weeks, so He has used all of this to bring me to the place of trust that is needed for this prayer in Chapter 9.
The most surprising thing God showed me while praying this prayer, is that part of me is afraid of being secure! Doesn't that sound crazy?! But He showed me that I learned as a child, that you don't get attention unless you are weak – a lie straight from our enemy.
Beth, God is using you so mightily to teach me truth. Thank you for your faithfulness to Him and to us. I don't know what I'd do without you.
Amby
Lake Stevens Wa
Married 37yrs
Honest, chapter 9 kept getting put to the back burner this past week(the enemy, talking me scared) & I really was kindof scared to dive in & get "real" and raw with myself & insecurities! Praise God for speaking to you Beth about this book & all it's contents, I experienced God's presence & healing all the while crying and sincerely praying the beautiful words you wrote. So many areas spoke to my heart & I feel refreshed, light on my feet & practically giddy today!Now I am working on making calls to all my lady friends and encouraging them to join our church for the Simulcast! Can't wait to see what God has in store for the ladies of Everett Washington @ Bethany Christian Assembly! Praise God!
susan
long island,ny
50's
married
Wow! After doing the prayer I feel such a release like I weight has been lifted off of me. I never thought this would be possible but I believe that god is really taking my insecurity. Praise god for this and for beth for developing this book and simucast. I anxiously look forward to joining everyone on the simucast event, I have never joined an online discussion group before and I really enjoy the fact that throughout the nation I have a sisterhood. I have the same issues as someone across the country in California. I do not feel alone. Praise god.
susan
long island,ny
50's
married
Wow! After doing the prayer I feel such a release like I weight has been lifted off of me. I never thought this would be possible but I believe that god is really taking my insecurity. Praise god for this and for beth for developing this book and simucast. I anxiously look forward to joining everyone on the simucast event, I have never joined an online discussion group before and I really enjoy the fact that throughout the nation I have a sisterhood. I have the same issues as someone across the country in California. I do not feel alone. Praise god.
I have a question. I noticed that March 13th is the last entry for our week 5 homework. Since there has been new blog posts, does that mean no one is posting their homework comments anymore? I noticed that happened last weekend as well. I did post a comment today but it hasn't shown up either. So, I'm just wondering how long we have to write our feedback.
Thanks so much,
Marion
married, 40's
Virginia
Praying chapter 9 was really profound, words don't really seem adequate, my heart feels moved, I feel like God has been working and changing me the last few weeks. As I thought about who I was thankful for showing me glimpses of God I was reminded of a good friend who has always been faithful, eventhough other friends may have fallen by the wayside. Thank You God!
Verses:
Jeremiah 32:17
Psalm 73:26
Zephaniah 3:17
I love doing this book but it opened up a very sad time in my life that I DO not want to re-visit! I have put it away and want to keep it there! I was so sad at the thought of this time coming back to me that it almost paralyzed me again. Then…. I sat myself down and had a very honest talk with God and what i wanted from this book and what he wants from this book for me? I asked him to please remove this sadness from me and not to let me go back there and by the time i was done with my prayer he had already plucked it from my heart like a weed from a flower garden! He is awesome! I am so amazed by his power!
I did not have time to read all the verses but I keep this taped to the front of my computer screen where I can read it ever time I sit down here.
Jesus replied,
"You do not realize now what I am doing, but later you will understand."
John 13:7
Beth I just have to tell you this …..
I just started your study called The Inheritance. It's very good but last night when you were talking about that one small thing that causes us additional pain because we are already in so much pain that one more thing will throw us over the edge I felt like you KNEW! Someone else Knows how that can happen. I live with pain every day and any thing extra can make it too much. Beth I hope your pain goes away yesterday! I love you , and your studies! Thank you for the work you do!
Beth,
What a beautiful prayer that was! I am not good with words and I sometimes wonder if I don't possess all that God wants for me to have simply because I don't know how to put it into words like that. I have to admit I was scared to death to say my fears out loud. I had never allowed myself to verbalize them because for some reason, I rationed that God would make every one of them happen to see if I had learned what I was suppose to. I know that sounds crazy, but it is the honest truth.
The prayer helped me verbalize things and "see" them in my mind in a way that made me crave security even more.
Thank you!
I love you!
Darcy
30 yrs old
married
Navarre, Fl
I really enjoyed being able to verbalize things that I have felt but never been able to put into words. I tend to get intimidated when I am trying to really pour my heart out to God. Especially when there is great stake in me repenting. It felt so natural to speak every bit of it out loud and not have to think about communicating effectively with the Creator of the Universe! I mean I hope I am not alone when I say that there can be some pressure there. I see God teaching me how to be real with him. I mean for 15 years I have been in a relationship with God that was representative of most of my "human relationships." Talk about scary! Needless to say, it was freeing to put it all out there. I mean that was 24 years of pent up repentence! Hallelujiah!
Amanda
24
Married
Rockingham, NC
These past two weeks have been brutal! I'm not giving up! The harder I try to say "so long" to my insecurities, the more the enemy has beaten me to death with them – even after completing Chapt 9.
I wanted to share with my fellow warriors my battle cry, because I've screamed it, whispered it sobbed it and wailed it these past few weeks. When I feel the enemy binding my mind up I fight back with:
Consider it pure joy, my brothers, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith develops perserverance. Perserverance must finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything. If any of you lacks wisdom, he should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to him.
James 1:2-5 NIV
I found this verse 18 months ago and since that time, I've prayed it every time I've felt the enemy attacking me and attempting to bind up my mind and thoughts. GOD IS FAITHFUL! HE ANSWERS THIS PRAYER!
Wendy in Virginia
Okay, so I did chapt.9, have been doing it over and over again, and I love it. I'm putting my number one insecurity out there – my weight. I have been healed of bulemia, but am still caught up in "healthy eating" and exercise 3-4 hours a day. To do this, I get up at 3 A.M./7days a week. I so want to be free! What is wrong with me? Why can't I stop? I seek and love God and His word daily. I ask Him to take my broken want to and fill me with more love for Him than anything else. Has anyone else been set free in this area? If so, please, share your testimony with me. Thank you.
Beth, this has been a hard study week for me. God is definitely speaking to me and showing me what I need to do but it's not easy. He is showing me that I don't trust him, that I cling to things and am very controlling. Because I can't wrap my brain around what it would be like to let him be in charge I keep on trying to organize everything myself and arrange everything the way I want it to be. He is bringing me to a place where I am seeking Him and asking for help moment by moment.
These vesrses speak to me.
Psalm 105:4 (New Living Translation)
Search for the Lord and for his strength; continually seek him.
Proverbs 31:25 (New Living Translation)
25 She is clothed with strength and dignity, and she laughs without fear of the future.
Sabrina
Lincoln NE
married
50s
I began praying the prayer of Chapter 9 without much expectation. To pray someone else's prayer seemed artificial. But I ended up connecting with God, nonetheless, and the tears came for me as well.
In this "empty nest" stage of my life, I am struggling with insecurity. The loss of my identify as a stay-at-home, home schooling mom has kicked my legs out from under me. I have been stuggling with adjusting for nearly 3 years now. Because of my raw emotions, I was most affected by: "Help me to stop confusing a change in my circumstances with a change in my security status. You are my security, O God. You are the one sure thing."
I want this to REALLY, TRULY be a reality for me. I don't want to live the rest of my days wishing for the way things used to be. I don't want to constantly be struggling with raw emotions related to this issue.
So many of you have insecurity related to your past. My insecurity is tied up with my future. I need to focus on the scriptures I recorded in the back of my book and BELIEVE GOD.
Paula K
Muskegon, Michigan
Married
40's
1. Chapter 9 was so good for me. I put it off for a while and then was so blessed. Things that were specifically good for me to pray:
a) "Flood my life with purpose and compassion."
b) "You mean to increase the praise that comes to you because of my life."
c) "Help me to see where I insist on making a situation all about me."
d) "Make me the kind of woman a little girl could follow to dignity and security." Wow.
2. Pick 5 verses – thank you to all the people who contributed. I was blown away in choosing and writing the verses in my book.
Becca
Salem, Oregon
20's
Married
I need major prayer from my siestas. I'm going through a crisis and meeting one of my BIG insecurities head on!!!! I'm upset because this situation has interrupted my life and its affecting everything…you know what I mean when your sick in your stomach and you cant get it out of your mind? I'm not ready to meet that insecurity head on and I have no choice..but its coming…an its coming fast. Do you know how scary that is? How do you prepare for this meeting? I can't even read right now and I'm getting behind. Jesus I need you to rescue me in this.
Thank you, Beth, for baring your soul to me. You have truly been a blessing to this old lady!
God revealed to me how that my biggest insecurities are usually by my own making.My insecurity in teaching a new science curriculum is due to my rebellious attitude of me not wanting to take the time to study and learn the concepts.I have suffered through this all year because of my stubbornness.Thank you, God for helping me see my sinful attitude.
I was so blessed by naming who I am most thankful for. The memories were so vivid of the impact these loved ones had on my life. I can honestly say that my childhood was a very loving and nurturing time in my life. I had forgotten that. I guess I always took it for granted. God helped me realize how blessed I was.
My life as an adult has taken me through many devastating, hurtful times, but, through it all, God has sustained me. He always reminds me that I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me.
I pray that God will continue to use this book to heal lives.
Thank you, Beth, for being obedient and transparent.
Judy
Lake Charles, LA
60
Single