Hey, Girls! You are doing such a fabulous job with your group discussion. I’ve especially loved watching you respond to one another. You really are such a tremendous and unique community of women. I’m honored to journey with you here. Let’s continue hearing from all those who have been active from the beginning but let’s also hear from more of you out there who are watching and reading but haven’t really jumped in here and participated. I promise you that when we wrap this thing up, you will be far more satisfied with the experience if you personally invested in it.
We are reaching the halfway point in our journey and have arrived at a place of utmost importance in our pursuit of wholeness. Your assignment this week is based on only one chapter of the book: CHAPTER 9. As you will soon discover, it is not a chapter you just read. It’s a chapter you actually do. A chapter you actually pray. Please take it seriously. Everything ahead of us hinges on this experience. It is placed at this point in the journey prior to the prescriptive and practical phase of the book so that the way is cleared and our dignity restored enough to move forward. It will help place us in a posture God can bless with the rich kind of confidence He wants for His people and activate the power we have within us to think and FEEL differently. That’s essentially where the remainder of the book heads.
Here are your very simple assignments this week:
1. Do (don’t just read but actually do) Chapter Nine. In your comment to this post, simply reflect back on your time with God and share anything specific that you received from it.
2. Go to last Saturday’s post (3/6/10) and look at all the verses in the comment section. You will find a wellspring! Pick five Scriptures that speak most powerfully to you right now – five that you feel like you need the most – and write them on the inside of the back cover of the book. (This should be a lot less intimidating than what I asked you to write inside the front cover at the beginning of our journey!)
And that’s it for this week! I want the prayer journey to stand by itself and clear the way for mighty works ahead. We have some of our most eye-opening moments in the second half so stay with it, Girls!
Since we only have one chapter this week, this is a great time for many of us to play catch-up!
I am packing this very moment and about to head to Toronto for our first 2010 Living Proof Live. We can’t wait to see a God-show in Canada! Come on, Canadian Sisters! We’ve got plenty of room for you!
I love all of you very much.
The King's Little Girl 
CRYSTIE
You know this mother issue is a biggie for me too!
Before going in to "do" this chapter, I got what I like to call a "guilt-o-gram" from my mom. I totally feel you Siesta! I will bring a specific prayer up before our loving FATHER for you today. Will you do the same for me?
(PS–then there's the whole husband thing too. =^)
OnYa!
Tonya
Bawled like a baby! However, it was a good cry. God met with me for my much needed time alone with Him. I was surprised by what I wrote. I didn't realize how desperately insecure and afraid, I am, of making friends when my family and I leave the military way of life. For 16 years I have had aquaintances, not friends or I should say, temporary friends. You learn to form bonds quickly because you know your time is short and your extended family is very far away. So you find a few women that you like and the relationships never get too deep and then you move. The worst thing is trying to pick one person who you think you can trust, after knowing them for a few days. Then you have to put them as the emergency contact person on your children's school forms and hope you wrote down the right telephone number. The other issue that hit me really hard is my confessing and asking for forgiveness for NOT trusting Him with my future. My unbelief that He knows best, not me. I ran and hid in my most favorite insecurity stronghold, perfectionist. I let it falsely comfort me when I should have been seeking His comfort. However, after DOING, not just reading, your God inspired prayer, I am at peace. Why would I not trust Him now? He has been so good to me and my family from day one of our military life. He has never let us down and we have always been at the right place at the right time. I was so foolish not to trust Him with this last move. I am at peace now and I am F.R.O.G.-ing — Fully Relying On God and it feels great! I re-read the prayer last night, with just a few tears and reconfirmed all I wrote and decided to refer back to this prayer and what I wrote, each time I feel myself trying to grab the reins of my life out of His hands. I need to remember that I am not in control and I have a life because of Him NOT because of me. My new mantra, "He is in charge." He is my strength, my refuge, my comforter, my counselor, my strong tower, my everything. Just like you say Beth, Stay in His Word, He is Life! So very true and something I will continue to do the rest of my days.
Andrea – Montana – 40's – married
I read/prayed Chapter 9 awhile back (I couldn't help reading ahead :)). But this is what I remember about it so vividly. I kept reading/praying and thinking, "this is exactly me!" How did she know the prayer to write for me? And then I realized God knows my heart so intimately, and He knew I didn't have the words to express this. I needed help, and He used you, Beth, for that purpose. Since then, I have been a new, less insecure person. I'm making decisions as a secure daughter of God, and not the "what will everyone think?" mentality. I really believe God began answering that prayer for me as soon as the words left my mouth! Oh, and I cried alot while praying too! Of course.
Ally
Columbia, SC
30's
single
Siesta Mary from MN. 3/13/10 4:15 pm. Thank you for sharing what God gave to you to write down, very, very beautiful.
Andrea, Montana
Blaire
30s
Topeka, KS
Married
Every sentence of the prayer chapter resonated with me. I really felt God's comforting presence, and His grace was so evident as I cried out to Him. The confession and forgiveness time was powerful. The phrase "Break the cycle with me, O Lord." was one that I feel I will remember and continue to say for the rest of my life as He continues to work in me. I'm so thankful Lord for your love for me!
Sarah
30's
Single
Colorado Springs, CO
First, I have to give a shout to a lady who put down Deut 2:3 in her comment!!! Boy, did that verse jump out and smack me right on the cheek!! I'd give her props by name, but I only saw 'anonymous.'
I've been able to have time alone with the Lord and read ch 9 several times. I've cried, laughed and done the "a-ha" moment more times than I can count on my two hands!!
God is so good to us!
In response to Beth's intro, I have participated in each assignment, read comments, prayed for needs, but haven't posted much. (I just figure who's going to read comment number 517?!) But, today I'm moved to encourage anyone who would read this to know that Our God will continue to honor your willingness to know Him more personally no matter where you are on your walk. I have known and loved Him as my personal Lord and Savior for years, but NOTHING has compared to what He's shown me this past year. His depth is incredible. I'm without words to describe His greatness to you. Even knowing that, I want you to know that I'm still a girl fighting through human issues of course. My prayer (chapter 9) came w/no tears other than gratitude – My walls came down along time ago and so will yours starting today, then you wont believe your new eyes. He knows us so completely, so how right it was to confess and renew once again. "Forgive me Lord for I am yet a sinner."
One version of James 4:10 says, "Then when you feel your worthlessness before the Lord, He will lift you up, encourage and help you." This is such an encouragement to me and even better- every time we hear a promise of God, remember 2 Cor 1:20 that says, "For no matter how many promises God has made, they are a "yes" in Christ Jesus. And so through HIM the 'Amen' is spoken by us to the glory of God!" (Wowie- here's a gift of the Spirit-as I'm writing this, "I'm trading my sorrows" came on- Yes Lord, Yes Lord, YES, YES LORD AMEN!!")
Praise His High and Holy Name! Be encouraged today.
Married
39
Nashville, TN
I had prayed Chapter 9 before I got to 8 without knowing it. I shared with a fellow Christian that my insecurity was going to stop NOW. I even have the guys in the office interested in this study!
Our women's group is currently into "Jesus the One and Only". Several of us are doing both of these studies at the same time. God has awesome power in our lives. My verse of impowerment is from Psalm 35. Please read the two different versions attached.
From The Message:
Harass these hecklers, God, punch these bullies in the nose. Grab a weapon, anything at hand; stand up for me!
Get ready to throw the spear, aim the javelin, at the people who are out to get me.
Reassure me; let me hear you say,
"I'll save you."
From NAS:
1Contend, O LORD, with those who contend with me;Fight against those who fight against me.
I am so ready to "Fear Not" and Trust only in Him.
Suzan
Beckley WV
Single
Okay, let me just say that God's timing never ceases to amaze me. Without knowing why, I felt the need to wait until this morning to do this prayer. So, I grabbed my SLI book and my Starbucks Chai Tea and headed into my bedroom to have a little one on one time with the Lord. I felt so good that I finally had the quiet time to do this prayer, and jumped right in with enthusiasm. I had no idea how much hurt and grief was still harboring in my soul until the words written on the pages began to pierce my heart. Then the tears began to flow. As I recalled, (once again for the umpteenth time), the victimization of childhood sexual abuse, the grief over the unexpected death of my oldest sister in 2006 and then my younger sister in 2007, and then my uncle whom I was very close with in 2008, among other hurts, disappointments, failures, way too long to list here–I felt such a relief to once again let go and trust in the Lord with ALL of my heart again. Then, as I was going through the last paragraph of the prayer, I realized that today, March 15th, is my oldest brother's birthday, the brother who victimized me from early childhood into my teens. So, as I said earlier, God's timing never ceases to amaze me, as any survivor can tell you, healing is a lifelong process. I thank the Lord that you, Beth, are allowing the Lord to use you in ways you cannot even fathom, to bring countless souls closer to the arms of their heavenly Father.
Donna
40something
Married for 21 yrs, 9 mos,& 11days
mom of 3 beautiful daughters
Panama City, FL
Is is so awesome how God just works. I was going to "put off" doing chapter 9 until what I thought was going to be the "right time" and do it on Monday….but God had other plans and provided the prompting and the time (surprise) for me to go ahead with it on Saturday. He met me there….and I feel like the air is cleared so to speak….He brought things / feelings/ emotions out that I was not aware were there and needed to confess before Him. He is so gracious and FAITHFUL. I can't wait for the rest of the journey.
Aimee
38
Married
Arkansas
I tried so many times to get 30 minutes to myself since last Thursday. I got it yesterday with a little interruption from my youngest, but I got it done. I can't tell you how personal that prayer was to me, Beth, and I know the Holy Spirit wrote that through your pen in a way we can ALL identify with. It is something I will refer back to again and again. Some specific things were just as if I'd written them myself. And one of the most difficult parts was being honest in those blank spaces. Sometimes I have a hard time with that, mostly because I don't want my children to ever pick up something I poured my heart out about that might bring them concern. But I was completely honest and I felt such a release about it.
Doing that exercise with the filling-in-the-blank made me think a lot. I used to journal CONSTANTLY when my firstborn was smaller, but as she grew, I was afraid she'd see some of that and, without knowing the whole story, see me in an unflattering and needy light. I know that when the time is right, I'll share with her all that I've been through if she asks, but I don't know if she could handle it now at the age of 14. Little snippets have come up in conversation, but not the whole story! Anyway, it made me long for those moments of journaling, when I could get all my thoughts out and feel like I was working through them. I need to try to figure out a way to get to that again…
Love, love, loving this. And I just had the most precious of moments with Jesus last week as I was taking your Jesus the One and Only study… week 8, the 4 cups, and knowing the fulfillment of the Passover taking place in Christ. I just cried! Knowing that what not only life, but all of time is about, was coming to fruition at that moment was more than I could stand. I LOVE HIM SO MUCH!
Doing the countdown until I see you in Tucson in less than two weeks! Can't wait!
Jen H.
Sun City, AZ
30's
Married
Arkansas
50's
Married
First time to post. What a blessing chapter 9 was for me! I looked forward to my "alone time" Saturday morning: hot English Breakfast tea, my Bible, journal, "Insecurity" book and lots of tissues! It was a difficult but incredibly freeing time of being honest before the Lord and feeling the warmth of his Holy Spirit sweep through my soul. I went through a ton of tissues but it was a beautiful time. Thank you Beth, for your being a vessel of our Lord to all of us.
Thanks too for the scriptures. As a pastor's wife we have been through so many situations where we have clung to scriptures about strength, power, and victory that have kept us from drowning in a sea of dissension and discord. I have a whole file called "Be Strong and Courageous." Many of my favorites are from the Old Testament including this one: "Do not be afraid or discouraged because of this vast army (gripers!). For the battle is not yours, but God’s.” (II Chronicles 20:15)
Blessings to all my fellow bloggers!
I have been a blogreader for many years. Many times, I have wanted to comment but held back. I read Chapter 9. The prayer brought me to tears and was so revealing. I am so thankful that God led you to remind us that anything that He sheds light on He will heal. Thank you Beth for allowing the Holy Spirit to use you to reach others.
Lew
41
Married
Indiana
Well I "did" chapter nine. It was a beautiful and heartwrenching at times prayer. I cried a lot during it, especially when I hit the points that are a touchy spot within me. I read slowly to try and make the prayer "mine" as I possible could. It was great. And to say I felt a release would be an understatement. It's embarrassing knowing that God really is the only one who has witnessed ALL of our moments we are embarrassed to mention. But what a release in admitting and knowing He is listening.
Wendy
34
Texas
married
I couldn't wait until I started the prayer to cry. It started when I was reading your introduction. I have no idea how long it took because I kept having to stop to mop up the tears so that I could see to read again. It was refreshing and cleansing. When it was over, I wasn't wrung out like I normally am from crying. There was a peace that I've started on this journey and am equipped with what I need to complete it.
60's, married, TX
Rogersville, TN
30's/married
Got up early to work on this assignment! The prayer in Chap 9 was too much for me to process all at one time! I prayed it aloud one day, waited a few days and the started from the beginning and wrote it out myself. The first thing that really blows me away is how well it is written, and overwhelmingly speaks to me. Reading it felt like finally realizing things I knew and felt but couldn't put into words. I love you sweet Beth and I hope I can say this correctly (through the computer)….but it had to be God that wrote that prayer. I say that only because it was so personal to me, and I mean it as a compliment to you 🙂 I just kept thinking of Psalm 139 all the way through it. How he knows everything about me, and still loves me. That is the hardest thing for me to grasp and hold on to. WOW. Thank you for your obdience to GOD and willingness to share with us. That prayer is something that I will continue to go over.
OK, I had way more than 5, but I'll limit myself here 🙂
1. Deut. 31.8 (NIV) The LORD himself goes before you and will be with you; he will never leave or forsake you. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged.
2. Psalm 108.13 ESV With God we shall do valiantly, it is the he who will tread down our foes.
3. Psalm 107:19-20 ESV They cried to the LORD in thier trouble, and he delivered them from their distress. He sent out his word and healed them, and delivered them from their destruction.
4. Hebrews 4. 11 MSG So let's keep at it and eventually arrive at the place of rest, not drop out through some sort of disobdience.
5. Hebrews 10:35-36 ESV Therefore, do not throw away your confidence, which has a great reward. For you have need of endurance, so that when you have done the will of God you may receive what is promised.
love you
Hi!
I already did a post but wanted to share this because it ties into insecurity. I've been studying wisdom and the Proverbs 31 woman. Her godly character was founded in her a "reverent and worshipful fear of the Lord"(vs 30) and BECAUSE of that she applied the truths of Mtw 6:33 – seeking God first and in turn, He provided for her needs and she was a honored.
Proverbs 2:1-8 has been spinning in my head the last two nights, and this is the little revelation I got:
We have a tendency to fear almost everything/one except the One were supposed to: God, Himself. (Think of how many times in His Word He tells us not to fear anyone/or anything, then how many times He mentions the importance of fearing Him.) But do we revere Him in our every, thought, plan, word and action??
He alone gives us breath to live and when He removes it, we turn to dust.(Ps 104:29) Satan knows that “the fear of the Lord is the beginning of wisdom” (Pr 9:10) so he stops at nothing to distort this truth and keep us foolish (fearing others and things.)
Oh let us not forget to tremble (at Who we ought)!
Hope this encourages you 🙂
God's blessings,
Cara
28
Fridley, MN
Single
God has shown me through this chapter that my earliest memories are of insecurity. I'm not sure why, but I think it may be because I was the 6th child under 10 years old. My parents had a farm and it was all they could do to keep up with all the work and 6 kids, and I think there just wasn't time or energy to devote specifically to each child. Then when I was 4, my next younger sister was born. She was sick a lot and so got a lot of attention because of that, and because she was just a really pretty child (as opposed to me). I know I was loved, but I just wasn't really shown love or told I was loved.
Also, God showed me that most of the pits I have gotten myself into have been because of insecurity. I have also had a lot of different kinds of losses, and I noticed a pattern of a period of loss followed by a period of sin, repeated over and over. Thank God that He can and will break that pattern. Victory, strength, power and dignity are in my future. PTL!
Linda
Johnstown, PA
50's, married
WOW!!! I don't have any other words to describe Chapter 9! I felt the LORD's presence in my quiet room as I prayed out loud and throughout those pgs. I felt your HEART BETH in every word! GOD is doing some great stuff here Siestas! Keep looking up, don't give up and keep your eyes on the PRIZE! FREEDOM!! Luv ya Mucho!!
Carmen :o)
50's
Married
Georgia
I am a crier by nature and reputation. Every time there is a moving sermon or wroship song set, my kids are looking down the pew to make sure I have enough tissues.
Because of that, I was a bit concerned with myself that I wasn't in tears right away while I was praying through the chapter 9 prayer. I certainly was in earnest while praying. It wasn't until the section on God pulling up the roots that were not of my own doing. As soon as I brought one up to the Lord, another would come and another, and release was streaming from my eyes and heart. What a blessed time of Father/daughter time the Lord and I had.
I am so glad for the quiet house this morning and for the washing of my heart before the Lord.
Lisa from Williamsport Area (Cogan Station), PA, married and in my 50's
Dearest Beth,
There is an interesting war being waged in my heart related to Chapter 9 that I'd like to ask for prayer for. My guess is there may be others struggling with something similar. I'm finding that as I look for healing and transformation, I'm half, or even more than half expecting that with that will come the "something new" – but something new in terms of something like the prosperity gospel… I find I'm expecting that once I'm set free, God will usher in a big ministry (big being a speaking ministry, or book, or call to be an overseas missionary, or to adopt 15 international kids, or to start a new nonprofit), or at least heal our marriage right up, or pay off our debts, or cease hardship, or smooth out all relationships. Or if I were single, for the man to finally come. Or if barren, for the baby to finally come.
I know these aren't true. But with all the talk of obedience and walking humbly with God leading to "the promised land" or a full harvest, or fortunes restored (in Scripture, no less), it's so hard to divorce my mind and heart from that kind of thinking.
I think I'm not so different than the people in Jerusalem who waved palm branches while believing that when their Savior came, with Him came "Easy Street" – so to speak. Or at least something "big" in their estimation.
On the other side of the coin, I keep thinking of the children in Haiti and how serving them in poverty of circumstances is huge. And of two elderly women alone in their European homes praying for a great evangelist; or the two elderly women in the front pew praying for D.L. Moody. Might those ministries not be the "something new" – done with power and love and a sound mind… Serving in quiet but mighty ways.
My guess is you would say YES! – but my heart is really battling confusion over this in the innermost parts – freedom from what to abundance in what? In other words, what exactly it is I'm to pray for and watch for and hope for and believe God for? "Simply" (and I do laugh at myself for using that word) freedom from insecurity?
God showed me what a big part my fears have played in my insecurity. I am praying I will be delivered from my fears (fear of failure, fear of rejection, etc.) He also helped me see that my perfectionist tendencies play into my insecurity. I'm counting on God to give me the freedom to be the one He created me to be – nothing more and certainly nothing less.
Kay
60's
married
Tupelo, MS
Dear Beth,
Thank you so much for allowing God to work thru you and give you the words for this prayer!!!! So powerful!! Many words I didn't think of but most were so appropriate & on target – some were very eye-opening! And everytime I remembered that God gave you these words for us to pray, it gave them so much more power!!!
I choose to believe HE is continuing to work LARGE in me!! I don't 'feel' it but I refuse to let that discourage me! And when I shared that with Him, I believe I 'heard' Him say, "Trust me!" Yes, Lord! is my response!!! I trust you to make a miracle out of me!!!!
I am a person that needs to hear/read things many times before I remember them & they become a part of me, so I will refer back to this prayer as a reminder if I forget!
I am memorizing verses on the 1st & 15th, thanks to your example of last year, & have picked them out ahead. The verse for today is so appropriate in response to this prayer time:
Isaiah 33:6 NET
"He is your constant source of stability; He abundantly provides safety & great wisdom; He gives all this to those who fear Him."
Thank you again, for being so transparent & allowing God to lead us thru you Beth!
Barb
It seems my bag of insecurities has gotten smelly and I want to dump it. When I decide to dump it, I guess I try to do it myself and never allow God to do it. As bad as my insecurities are, they get pushed in the back of my closet (like the clothes when I loose weight), praying I never have to wear them again, but always find myself in them again. I don't think I have allowed God to heal them, just allowed the wound to scab. It is so easy to knock a fresh scab off. The scab has been knocked off so many times I think when I finally allow God to heal it the scar is going to be massive. BUT that is okay, that skin is supposed to be tougher – meaning if I allow God to finish it nothing will be able to penetrate it any more. Oh thank you Father for loving me so much that you continue to bring conviction of sin and give me grace and healing. This is going to be a great year.
I cried. I felt God's love for me regardless of my weakness. How powerful it feels to seat with my God and disregard what the world thinks of me and only care about his Love and his Will for me. No more walls of self protection and self worship!
Blair
30's/ Married
Pensacola, FL
Pride and self…What and eye opener this has been for me and what a treat to have the Lord walk me through it in such a safe evironment before it got the best of me. I am loving the lines from the prayer, "Make me wholly unafraid of anything that I might see in myself in the the light You provide. Help me to trust that You will only shed light where You're willing to heal." Of my sins they were really unknown to me or should I say I didn't view them as selfish or prideful…but guess what, I am filthy! "Please forgive me for my self-worship (vanity). For my relentless pursuit of control…Forgive me for my foolish pride….Forgive me for the jealousy and covetousness that feed my insecurity." I will be reading this over and over.
The feeling of freedom is amazing. The understanding that those feelings are sin…I knew they were wrong, I knew I shouldn't feel that way and everytime they reared their ugly head I knew I'd been beat! But no more, I am now armed with the Truth and with that I can wield my Sword of the Spirit whenever I begin to see my insecurities rise.
Thank you for sweet healing!
AMEN
Sherrie
30's
Married
OK Beth –
I thought I had all this stuff figured out – I teach Jr High Youth at my church and deal with this stuff on a weekly basis – seriously – am I the only one that felt they had this all under control and then started reading this book and BAMM – all these relationship issues keep rearing their ugly heads – HELLO – I am 50 years old and should have this figured out – I cried through chapter 9 and to top it off – I am in the middle of Believing God and the middle of the chapter on the tongue – can I say HELLO again! God is certainly having a hayday with me – In all this – HE is more than ABLE to figure it all out – I will continue to keep hitting my knees – keep reading -keep praying and on the other side – with HIM – be victorious.
So – for all you other 50 year old women who thought you had it figured out and don't – I feel your pain – it's HIS gain!
Just finished the chapter. A surprising revelation was the sentence on pg 171 "Where I lost a relationship, grant me true intimacy." Though I had a wonderful father, I didn't have much of a relationship with him and he did not know how to show love outwardly (at least to the children). He died when he was 54 and I was 25 so I didn't have much time as an adult to get to know him (I left home for college and never lived close after that). I became a Christian just before my father's death and struggled with singing 'Jesus Loves Me' and prayed for a long time to really understand God's love. He is faithful and did reveal His love during worship one day and I am secure in that now. But I see now that my intimacy with my wonderful husband of 25 years (in August!) could use some healing too to be the best it could be. I hope this makes sense (already 2 edits!).
Love this book and it goes along well with Max Lucado's book Fearless which I am leading in a study at the same time. Double whammy!
PS – Just signed up for Tucson and bringing my 19 year old daughter who is going to college there. Can't wait to see you!
Mary D in Phoenix AZ
Patty
Colorado Springs, CO
50's
married
It was good to ask forgiveness for the insecurities I needed to own up to doing. A lot of my insecurities, though, originated from my past of which I had no control over. I look forward to seeing Jesus "overturn every single thing the enemy meant for evil into seomthing good". I'm so glad to know that God is the One who gives me my dignity and that I can have it back. No matter what I've been forced to go through, I don't need to feel ashamed or to hate myself. That is a lie of the enemy and he has had control over my insecurities far too long. It is Jesus who paid for my freedom – and it is Jesus who is in the process of setting me free. Praise You and thank You, Jesus!
Is there anyone in the Claremore OK area (Catoosa, Verdigris, Collinsville, Owasso, Oologah) area that might like to meet weekly to just hang out and talk about God and this wonderful book? Please email me – [email protected]. I bought my ticket to the simulcast over the weekend and I would love to have someone to get excited with.
Initially, I read & prayed through Chapter 9 on February 7th. The experience was powerful. Re-reading the chapter today reinforced the foundation for spiritual growth laid in Chapters 1-9.
"I actively and deliberately receive – and vow to keep receiving – everything that I have requested in Your will this day." This sentence from the final paragraph of the prayer resounds with me. "ACTIVELY" and "DELIBERATELY." The Holy Spirit keeps reminding me that I must actively and deliberately respond to what the LORD is doing in my life as I kick insecurity to the curb. This isn't a passive, I hope it goes away on its own, process. This is a battle and I am more than a conqueror in Christ.
Leigh
41
Married
Montgomery, AL
Sarah
40
Married
BC, Canada
Chapter 9 was life changing for me. So so good and I got down on my knees and gave all I am to the Lord. I cried so much I had a hard time seeing what I was praying, I cried and it was so freeing it all came out all I was to now who I am in the Lord. All my past mistakes, all the people I hurt, everything. The best Part I received back my dignity, I know have the knowledge to hang on to it will all my might. The bible verses I wrote in the back of my book for me to use as tools.
I feel so humble before Him and I'm praying that I now will recognize the patterns of destruction and armed with scripture be better at handling my insecurities. It feels so good to climb out of that pit. Thank you Lord and for you Beth for following God's leading and helping us be free of our insecurities.
That was one God-inspired prayer! Thank you for the WORDS that needed to be said, expressed, and prayed. I am thankful
Kitty
55
Atlanta
Separated
Tonya
40's
Married
Searcy, AR
I am sitting here with tear stains still wet on my face. I feel utterly wrung out. And CLEANSED.
Those words truly must have been God-inspired because you poured out my heart in a way that felt completely God-led.
I've tried so hard to walk away from many of these areas for so long I hear the Enemy snickering, you know you can't make it this time either.
The scriptures help a lot with this. I do see change in myself and I FEEL it. It's slow and more like a zig-zag than a straight line. But it is still a forward motion.
My concern presently is knowing where that line is that lies between self-confidence and arrogance; especially in regard to my marriage. How do I become stronger and not over do it? Where does dignity end and 'un-un, oh no you didn't!' begin?!??
Anybody out there get what I'm talking about?
I don't want to be tricked into letting the pendulum swing TOO far the other way.
Balance. Margins. Centered.
I'm hoping the chapters to come deal with these kinds of things as well.
God be with each of my beautiful Siestas and myself as we climb this mountain, one carefully placed step at a time!
(I am resubmitting this as it didn't appear, but a comment I made later to a fellow siesta did. I'm thinking I failed to properly submit it. Trying again. Thanks.)
I learned long ago that all things are made beautiful in His time, but it still just blows me away to be right in the middle of it! I knew that I would have the time for Chapter 9 this morning so I diligently planned to have no other distractions while I had this time with God. He so ordained it all. The prayer was so meaningful and showed me areas long covered and hidden. I was so aware that it was TIME for this to happen. It wasn't until I completed it and wrote in the date that I became aware that for the first time in 30 years I had overlooked the anniversary of my Father's passing yesterday. It had always caused much distress but God has been so gracious to bring healing. I knew that a significant thing had happened and that He had orchestrated it. He also showed me that today was a new beginning for other things. I have been putting off joining a weight loss program due to past failures, but He showed me several things that pointed to today being that day…and I did. I now know that I can do this because He is victorious in me! I will not surrender my dignity again.
Glory to God!
Pam
Austin, TX
60's
married
Oh my word!! That's what I felt after I done the prayer. I received Jesus Christ as my Savior January 2006; and I have been struggling ever since.
I had jury duty this past week and when I got to the part with the prayer, I skipped It and said i would do it later. Well we (the jury)finished early one day, I had some time before I had to leave to pick up my daughter from school I decided to do the prayer.
Well let me tell you that when I started that prayer I knew it was your words, but I ended up making it my own-does that make sense? I have had encounters with the Lord before, but this was profound! I cried and cried some more. It was everything I have been waiting to say for some time. Either because I didn't know how to form the words or just plain chicken.
Thank you for helping me make that first step. I know God will continue His wonderful work in me if I will just get out of His way.
This was an amazing experience and I know its not the end. God is so awesome!!! I know now that I can continue on my walk with God because I'm "clothed in strengh and dignity". Praise God!!!!
Okay, I am in! Way late, but could just now afford to buy the book at Walmart. It is my early birthday present to myself. I am on chapter 3, and going to take it slow, I hope you don't mind. So far I think I have wrote parts of this myself all of the charateristics of a sensitive person are so NOT me, but the insecurity is still there. I am working on an Emmaus Team (Beth have you surly heard of "The Walk to Emmaus" Do they have those in Texas? If not oh my they need em. Anyway now I am on the team and will serve a group of pilgrims in a couple weeks. we had dying moments the other night and we actually hung our chains on a wooden cross!!!! I hung my insecuirty for my future and Christ took it from me AMEN, my chains are gone! Now to give him the other ones! Thank you Jesus for working through Beth to bring us your words!
Brooke
Indiana
32
wow! that's about all i can say…I have been on a preview trip to Chicago for a mission project I'm leading this summer and just happened to have some extra time this morning at my hotel. after reading the first part of the chapter in the plane on the way here saturday night i knew it was going to be an emotional journey. and honestly i started the process this morning with all of my guards up because i in no way wanted to feel those emotions…talk about insecure about dealing with my insecurities. anyways, as i began to read through the prayer my walls were forced to break down. i held them up as long as i could, but as soon as it started leading me to pray for God to "pull up the roots of insecurity that were not of my own doing" i just broke. Beth, it was honestly as if you were quoting from my life.
the sobbing began when i started stating that God created me with all of my complicated heart issues, knowing that at 21-years of age I would be medically evacuated from the mission field and have to have 4 heart surgeries and that 2 years later i'm still having problems…but he created me that way for the sole purpose of making a wonder out of me…for the sole purpose of defying the odds to make Himself conspicuous in me…for the sole purpose of making a wonder out of me and showing what He could do through me. (wow, that's a long run on sentence!) i've known all of these things in my mind, but actually praying it, making my heart know it, was totally overwhelming in a good way!
anyways, it has been an incredible journey with the Lord today! thank you so much, Beth, for listening to the exact words of God to write down!
Kaila
23
Missouri
Single
Mary
50’s
Illinois
Married
I have a collage of pictures of me as a baby and child that my dad made for me hanging in my home. They are all black and white pictures taken in the 50’s. For several years after I got this gift I would look at those pictures and just cry and cry for that little girl (me) in those pictures because she had no idea what horrible things were coming. I felt hurt and afraid for her and so sad. But as the years went by and I grew in Christ I can now look at those same pictures with a heart of thanksgiving because of how the Lord kept me throughout all the bad years and protected me from eternal death. How He had a plan for that little girl from the beginning of time and I choose to open the door that He was knocking on and accept Him into my life and He saved me from my sin and myself. And now here I am today on page 165 praying out loud a prayer to my Heavenly Father that will continue to set me free from more garbage that stands between me and my Lord. I am just one of His many miracles. I remember you Beth showing us how to clean out our garbage cans and get to the bottom and there put our Solid Rock as the foundation. For me this is just more cleaning out of the garbage and I am so okay with that. I had a “God Moment or God Stop” in the prayer. I will be rocking and chewing on it for days to come until the spirit puts it deep in my heart. Page 170 at the bottom says, “Help me to see any place in my life where I’m hanging on to my grief or anger in an attempt to hang on to what I’ve lost.” Oh Father, could this be another piece to my puzzle? Is this the root of the anger I can never put my finger on? Please help me release this sin and heal to full righteousness. It is Jesus that pulls us so close in the body that one of His servants could write such a prayer from so many of the deepest corners of our souls. Thank you Beth for being His willing and obedient servant, and for sharing with us, this restoration prayer.
Hannah, 25
Lansing, MI
Married
1) Pages 168-169 of the prayer really spoke to me in asking God for forgiveness. I realized there were things mentioned in there that I was guilty of, but was blind in seeing. It was very humbling, but also an extraordinary experience to release those burdens to God!
2) Verses that spoke to me:
Joshua 1:9, Psalm 27:1, Psalm 112:7-8, Isaiah 26:3, and 2 Chronicles 16:9.
I have to say too that I am loving how God is revealing the theme of trusting in Him (being secure in Him) and not being afraid of the world and its expectations/anxieties. In addition to this book, I'm also doing the Esther study and I'm working through Week 5: "It's tough being a woman in the tight fist of fear." I am so grateful for how God works to make his commands clear and practical for everyday life!
I was able to catch up on my reading this weekend, and I did Chapter 9 this morning. I was a bit skeptical at first since insecurity has been such a part of my life. But, as I continued through the prayer I was amazed at the sense of hope that flooded my soul. I found myself agreeing whole heartedly with most of the statements within the prayer. I have been trying to this all on my own, and the realization that I don't have to hit me while praying. It's all in His hands and I know that He is faithful to help me overcome the insecurities that have dogged me since childhood. All things are possible through Him! Thank you so much for writing this book!
Donna
40
Viginia
Cara Joy,
I just loved your insight there on proverbs and wisdom and the one true God we should be fearing.
What an encouraging and convicting word!
Blessings,
Michelle in VT
I have to say that I was nothing short of shocked at how close you got with that prayer, Beth! I had to stop and wonder if you were reading my brain. It was definitely divinely inspired. Then I remembered 2 Cor. 2:11. We are not ignorant of Satan's designs. (So, why do I keep falling prey to them?) This is going to be freedom for me.
I'm also doing Believing God. It has been such an eye-opening experience, and I have loved the overlapping of the two studies. I am at the end of week 7 and drew my life cycle with God mostly up to this point. So, I just want to say that this is the end of the cycle for me! I am done with it. I am just so "over it"!
This chapter came at a perfect time!
Thank you for sharing your life with us and for writing it.
Julie
30's
Alabama
Married
What so amazes me is that your prayer touched so many varied areas that I'm sure are personal to all of us – certainly they are personal to me in my struggles. What I beleive God told me in my time with Him is to STEP OUT of myself (as I currently exist) and step into the light with Him – trusting in His guidance and provision. In other words, He wants me to become a new person IN HIM! Leave behind the old and take on Christ as the One who goes AHEAD of me, walks WITH me and follows BEHIND in support. I CAN be a new creature in Christ in ways I had not fathomed before, in areas I hadn't thought about in years. Thank you Beth for opening my eyes and my heart to that.
Doris
Trussville, Alabama
What a relief to have tears of pain transformed to tears of healing peace. God is so good, all the time. Praise You, Father. He has done so much in me already, and now I need to let the rest go so He can finish the job He had planned for me from the start. I would be honored to become the kind of woman a little girl (or high school girl, or dear sister) could follow to dignity and security. May His will, and not my insecurity, be fulfilled!
Crystal
26
Married
Shippensburg, PA
I don't think I'm going to be able to do this assignment this week. I will not be alone for 2 minutes! I had to yell at kids to be quiet three times, just to be able to focus enough to read this post! I have the worst case of ADD! It's the first day of spring break! It has not gone well. They have yelled and screamed and fought and roughhoused, (I won't even mention my trip to Wal-Mart which was supposed to be an opportunity to visit with a friend I don't see much. Didn't get to talk to her for 2 measly seconds the whole time, cause I kept having to correct my children.) and managed to crack a window in their bedroom, which no one's fessing up too. At this rate they aren't going to live through Spring Break!
I was blessed to be in Estes Park, Colorado when I read Chapter 9. I sat by the window and while it snowed I read the prayer out loud. It was very powerful and moving. It was as if I had written every single word that my heart was feeling. Just knowing that God knew I would be in that place with this prayer before I even knew about the book overwhelmed me.
The more I get to know Him the more I realize I have NO IDEA how much he truly loves me. What an awesome feeling.
Sheila
43
Divorced
Texas
I would like to leave a comment for Dora of Tenneessee (Mar. 12 @ ll:22A).
Sister, I have traveled that same road you did in trying everything to please my spouse. Didn't work for me either. One day I realized I had this big void in my life. Then it dawned on me…only God could fill that void. I made the decision right then and there to return to Him and have never looked back.
As you continue this study, don't look back. Only look forward to what God has in store for you. It will be sooo much better than what you can imagine…I know.
You are in my prayers as you travel the path back…you have company and aren't alone.
KarenM
60s
El Paso, TX
As I prayed Chap 9 the tears came as I realized that a horrible, habitual sin in my life is a result of insecurity. While I have repented many times, the stronghold is still there and I am overwhelmed. I know I am grieving the Holy Spirit, doubt my worth, and then repeat the cycle. I so need God to move in my life.
I am finally caught up with all of the chapters!
The prayers this week were powerful, yet I am still afraid that I will not have victory. I am afraid that my fear is too great. But I know God can somehow break through my fear. I have several verses picked out that are pretty powerful, including 2 Tim. 1:7. May we all have victory together!!
Wendy
Married
30's
Pennsylvania