Hey, Girls! You are doing such a fabulous job with your group discussion. I’ve especially loved watching you respond to one another. You really are such a tremendous and unique community of women. I’m honored to journey with you here. Let’s continue hearing from all those who have been active from the beginning but let’s also hear from more of you out there who are watching and reading but haven’t really jumped in here and participated. I promise you that when we wrap this thing up, you will be far more satisfied with the experience if you personally invested in it.
We are reaching the halfway point in our journey and have arrived at a place of utmost importance in our pursuit of wholeness. Your assignment this week is based on only one chapter of the book: CHAPTER 9. As you will soon discover, it is not a chapter you just read. It’s a chapter you actually do. A chapter you actually pray. Please take it seriously. Everything ahead of us hinges on this experience. It is placed at this point in the journey prior to the prescriptive and practical phase of the book so that the way is cleared and our dignity restored enough to move forward. It will help place us in a posture God can bless with the rich kind of confidence He wants for His people and activate the power we have within us to think and FEEL differently. That’s essentially where the remainder of the book heads.
Here are your very simple assignments this week:
1. Do (don’t just read but actually do) Chapter Nine. In your comment to this post, simply reflect back on your time with God and share anything specific that you received from it.
2. Go to last Saturday’s post (3/6/10) and look at all the verses in the comment section. You will find a wellspring! Pick five Scriptures that speak most powerfully to you right now – five that you feel like you need the most – and write them on the inside of the back cover of the book. (This should be a lot less intimidating than what I asked you to write inside the front cover at the beginning of our journey!)
And that’s it for this week! I want the prayer journey to stand by itself and clear the way for mighty works ahead. We have some of our most eye-opening moments in the second half so stay with it, Girls!
Since we only have one chapter this week, this is a great time for many of us to play catch-up!
I am packing this very moment and about to head to Toronto for our first 2010 Living Proof Live. We can’t wait to see a God-show in Canada! Come on, Canadian Sisters! We’ve got plenty of room for you!
I love all of you very much.
Tammy 
I just finished Chap 9 this am… I have to say that I agreed w Jen from Missouri about being fearful and putting the book up…As I read I actually could feel a presence that I haven't in a long time. But also had me sitting back on my knees, asking God- how did she know???Thank you for the honesty and letting Him lead you to write this prayer!!! I pray for the continuing change in all our siestas!!!
For Christy in Macon – ok… so i laughed so hard about the car in the mud… 🙂
And to Aimee in SC – You are in my prayers, and for the restoration and healing you are crying out to God for.
Holly
36 – Single
Williamston, SC
Tammy
40s
married
Wingo, Kentucky
When I prayed this prayer, I realized that God loves me as I am and that He made this way for a reason and a purpose.
Read/Prayed through chapter 9 twice….very powerful. God spoke love and grace to me. It reminded me of that fact that He SINGS OVER ME – WOW – over me… flaws and all.
He also brought to my heart the fact that I needed to be more sensitive to my husband and what God is working out in him.
Becoming more secure each day 🙂
Michelle
42yrs
Thornton, CO
Stephanie T
Macclenny, FL
30's
Married
I prayed chapter 9 today. I dont think there are words to express the relief, the washing away of all of that junk. On my face I bowed and prayed and with my heart I will make this a priority for the rest of my life.
My Top Five Verses from Previous Post:
PS 27:1, Eph 1:19-20, Josh 1:9, Micah 5:4, and Phil 4:13
Ashley
Huddleston, VA
20s
Married
Thank you so much for this chapter, Beth. Cried pretty much the whole way through. These were things I desperately needed to say out loud to God, but I have been afraid to be too transparent before Him. While I've always known in my mind that God loves me, my heart is starting to get it.
God is showing me that my pride and self-righteousness may be the ugliest, worst form of sin I could have, because it is so easily denied and so completely opposite from what I am and what He wants me to be.
He is also showing me that He has enough strength to fight for me when Satan attacks me in these areas. Which happens every few minutes, really. But the strength never runs out, as long as I remember to ask for it.
I feel…free.
I was sitting in the park while my children played reading this prayer out loud BOLDLY!! I did not even care that the little kids were all walking by me thinking I was some crazy women!!
There were many of times where I underlined parts of the prayer and fewer times that I circled. The circled were the things that meant something powerfully to my heart!
#1 Forgive me (help me not to be) such a perfectionist that I resist doing something good out of fear that it won't be great!
WHOA! My family jokes and calls me OCD, and I joke back and say the letters have to be in order CDO! But, I wonder how many times my calling, my creativity; my gifting, etc…. have been negatively affected by this trait!
#2 Lord be my gain! Flood my life with purpose and compassion!! Be my strength in my weakness!
#3 Every gift, challenge, and obstacle is meant to shape the specific destiny You ordained for me before time began!! WHOA again!! In the recent years I suffered great rejection from the body of Christ b/c of a season of horrifying sin and rebellion in my life. Recently I made a comment to my husband about how I felt that the Lord had let me down in this area, and He responded with "Every one of those heartaches was a gift from God to you!! It is those obstacles that set you on the path He has ordained!! What Satan meant to destroy me through insecurity, only made me SO MUCH more secure in my Jesus!!
#4 Help me to quit being overly sensitive and putting too much pressure on relationships!! Yikes!!
… as well as so easily wounded!
#5 Even after my rebellion God so loved me that He has GRACED me with a precious baby girl named "Selah Evangelica" that I will give birth to in 4weeks or less, and a solid ministry to women and girls that are considered the "Unpeople" of society… convicts, prostitutes, those who have considered abortion, etc… so the next statement really hit home run in my heart!….
MAKE ME THE KIND OF WOMAN A LITTLE GIRL COULD FOLLOW TO DIGNITY AND SECURITY… LET THIS STATEMENT REVERBERATE INTO EVERY CORNER OF MY LIFE AND INVADE THE BONE MARROW OF MY BELIEF SYSTEM!!
Thank you sweet Jesus that there are so many other things to do in this dying world, and You chose to make it a point to help us be secure in YOU!!
My husband being having a viral throat infection is actually a blessing in disguise. He's asleep, and it's quiet. But then I had to pray for God to bind Satan and let my mind not wander. And it took me more like an hour and a half, not a half hour, to do Chapter 9. What a wonderful, wonderful prayer.
So much resonated: unhealthy motivation, grant me insight, help me recognize pride or unbelief and refuse it immediately, quell what triggers me.
But I stopped dead in my tracks at "You knew what You were doing when You formed me in my mother's womb." Mind you, I am 100% anti-abortion and know that verse by heart. I just had never in my almost 60 years applied it to myself — and certainly not when I'd recall that I was a surprise for my unwed mother. I'll think on that one all day and then some, thank you very much!
And what a rich field from which to choose verses! I think God just took control of you that Saturday morning to get you to get us to post all those verses! But my very favorite two are:
1. You've circled this mountain long enough. Now turn north. (Deut 2:3)
2. That passage at Ephesians 6:10-18 in The Message translation. I sent that one to myself at my e-mail and then sent it to my children and friends and then starred it so I'll notice it readily.
I almost wish there were a verse about "open the ears of my brain," kind of like "open the eyes of my heart." Thank you SO much for opening the ears of your brain to God!
This lesson should have came with a warning label “Multiple boxes of tissues required”
I totally did not expect to have such a strong reaction to this. But as I laid face down before my Lord tears began to flow from the very beginning only to turn to uncontrollable sobs. I am so grateful that He can understand me despite those sobs and tears….that its not too much for Him to handle. I poured myself out and felt so broken before Him. I am so afraid of not finding wholeness, of being so messed up that even He can’t fix it. I know that it is not truth so I cling to Him cause He is the only one who knows. This journey has been and is quite difficult but He has pinned me in and this is the only path available. I just know I desperately NEED Him right now in so many ways….I pray He shows up despite my doubt at times. I want to be a walking miracle for HIS glory…..let it be so, oh Lord please let it be so!
Married
Late 30's
Florida
Julie
32
Married
Washington State
The most powerful prayer I've ever spoken! Beth, God answered your prayers on this one! I'm still processing it and feeling the gradual freedom and healing that can only come from the Lord. I walked upstairs last night to go to bed after saying this prayer and I felt the urge to physically leave my burden downstairs at the feet of Jesus. So as I walked up the stairs, I kept moving my hands from the top to bottom of my body and throwing my burdens away! I had a hard time sleeping my mind was buzzing with memories and thoughts!
Thank you Lord for your continual healing! One verse I wrote in the back of my book is:
Psalm 104:4
Seek the Lord and his strength; seek His presence continually!
I found this to be so very powerful. I actually wrote out the prayer so it took me about 3 hours to do the exercise. So much ugly stuff I brought before God,it's not like He didn't know it was there to begin with. The hardest and most painful part for me was coming to the realization that God holds memories of things that happened to me that I will never possess. That crushed my heart. It hit me for the first time that when I was being victimized as a child, that my perpetrators weren't just hurting me, they were hurting my God, oh how devestating. It still brings tears to my eyes as I write this out.
Michele
Liverpool, NY
40s
single
I’m finally caught up! You offered accountability to someone and I tagged on to that, I hope that’s okay.
My sweet dog’s needs have left me very sleep deprived for some time, so some days I just can’t function or think straight (that on top of depression). And because I want to read SLI, I had a rule – homework first, then SLI. Alas, I’ve been behind on homework all semester. Then my counselor suggested using SLI as my devotional time, and that might give me motivation to get more homework done. I’m still far behind on homework, but improving. Okay, okay, I know you hate whining…
1. As soon as I began the prayer, I started crying. My initial reaction was to associate that with something negative, that I am scared or whatever. But God reminded me of a recent podcast where I heard Charles Stanley admit that he occasionally cries out of the blue for no tangible reason because he is moved by the presence of God. That gave me the security to accept that my emotions were okay and to keep going.
Much of the prayer hit home. One aspect where I varied from the text was when it said “I want to…,” because I usually don’t want to get well. I am comfortable complaining and being miserable. Sounds stupid, but that’s what is inside. So in those places, I asked God to give me the desire to change and get well.
It was a powerful prayer, MamaBeth. God did answer you and he will use that. I will probably go back over it periodically until the concepts sink in.
Thank you so much.
I love you too.
The power in chapter 9 has blown me away. I want to tell eveyrone I meet about this book, breaking free, or just Jesus!
My little one was asleep at the time I read through it and I was hoping my loudness, tears, and laughter would not wake him up. If someone walked in my home during that time, they would have either called an ambulance and said I was going crazy, or gotten saved.
I have been breaking free over the last few months, and my confidence is still blah. I felt that the prayers were validating where I have been, what I have said before, and where I want to go.
It is really a cool thing to know in my core that although what I am doing at this point in my life seems strange to those who don't believe period or who are still in bondage, but I am believing God for my freedom and some of the feelings are following.
I definatley know the taste of freedom and the thought of being drug back into that hellish prison makes me ache. But I don't have to…that is the beauty! I felt myslef confidently and powerfully say "enough, is enough, is enough. Our relationship is O-V-E-R! Glory!
Married, 50's, Montana
The feeling of peace is glorious. I have re-read the prayer each day since Monday to dwell with Him and feel His peace. It is a blessing to have this thoughtful, powerful prayer. Thank you, Beth.
I attended two events in our new adopted hometown yesterday. The power of the peace inside is evident to me in how I feel talking with people, accepting who I am, and waiting in patience to see how God acts in my new life here. Amen.
I have to say that the assignment using the verses of strength was very profound for me from the first time you introduced this Beth! I am making a spiral of these verses just for future strength.
I did chapter nine on Tuesday and I was blessed by the peace an sense of security that has come over me. "She is clothed with strength and dignity" is becoming my new mantra to myself in situations where I am tempted to be insecure.
Julie
46
Tallassee, AL
Married
I'm home and catching up! I re-read the prayer in chapter 9 this morning–on my knees on the my tile floor! I cried my way through it and love the idea of writing this entire prayer in my journal! God is so amazing in his delivery and I want to take in every word.
"Forgive me for being such a perfectionist that I resist doing something good out of fear that it won't be great" Is this why I can't lose the unwanted weight I carry around. Fear that it won't change my heart, and I will be the same unhappy person? I'm praying that I will find the answers to my "why I feel the way I do". Thank you Beth for this prayer. I'm at a loss for my own words right now, but know that God is working on me. Praying for restoration of my happy heart.
Bobbie
50's
married
College Station
1)I feel like every time I post a comment I start with WOW!! But that’s exactly how I feel. Chapter 9 was amazing and I just felt God’s presence in every word! I highlighted all over the place but the two things that really stood out to me were on P. 170, “Flood my life with purpose and compassion. Be my strength in weakness.” And P. 171, “Don’t stop until you’ve made a miracle out of me!” God is so awesome and I want to be his miracle, but I just let insecurities get in the way. I am ready to be free of that and am thanking him in advance for his awesome strength and love.
2)It was so hard to pick just 5. Psalm 27:14; Psalm 30:11; 2 Tim 1:7; 1 Chronicles 28:20; Joshua 1:9. I haven’t written them in my book yet, but I will. I am going to claim them for my life and KNOW that God has given me strength and dignity to get through this thing we call life!
Heather F/Beaumont, TX/29/Single
Chapter 9 was overwhelming to me. I first just read it to myself and could not get the tears to stop. God has shown me so many things through this book that I was totally unaware of. I feel so much cleaner and less confused by the day. PTL for putting the words of this book into your mind so they could be put on paper for us to see. I can already see a transformation in my life and heart. My pride has been in God's way for so long, I am now trying little by little to give up control and just let go. Thanks Beth for not being too insecure to share your words and stories with us,you will never know this side of heaven what it has meant and done for me. Love ya girl!
Julie
Bardstown,Ky
30's
Married
Heather
Ironton, MO
married 20's
I just want to take a moment to share with everyone what tremendous work God is doing in me. Through this prayer He shed some light and the healing has begun! I am ready to, moment by moment, think differently and be free from my self absorbtion. Ladies, we're climbing this mountain and He is showing Himself to us! He's setting us free from our old ways. Beth, thank you for being such a vessel of His Spirit. In my one life, He is doing some huge things.
Heather
Ironton, MO
married 20's
I just want to take a moment to share with everyone what tremendous work God is doing in me. Through this prayer He shed some light and the healing has begun! I am ready to, moment by moment, think differently and be free from my self absorbtion. Ladies, we're climbing this mountain and He is showing Himself to us! He's setting us free from our old ways. Beth, thank you for being such a vessel of His Spirit. In my one life, He is doing some huge things.
Heidi
Midland, TX
40s
Single
I was ahead in the reading when I came to the prayer in chapter 9. It took all of about 10 seconds to decide to just keep flipping pages. About half way through chapter 10 I realized that I really was going to have to go back and do that part of the chapter but procrastinated some more until 11:30 last night I found myself in the bathroom reading out loud with the shower running. The funny thing about that is that I was alone in the house but every where I tried to “do” chapter 9 left me feeling vulnerable and exposed. I have spent many hours in the bathroom crying with the shower running to mask the sound so my son can’t hear me. There are 3 things I will share from my time “doing” chapter 9.
1. “You know the rational origin of every irrational fear.” I always analyze every situation, thought and emotion. There are rational reasons for these things. But these words made me realize that while there may be a rational origin…the resulting fear is irrational and more and more analysis will not make the fear become rational. I have been waiting for the fear to become rational because once that happened, I would be able to get rid of it. No wonder I still live with it.
2. “Help me to see any place in my life where I am hanging on to my grief in an attempt to hang on to what I’ve lost.” Oh my….by hanging on to this dream of how it should be that has long been lost, I have kept myself stuck in grief. I had never thought about the grief as being the thing that has kept the dream from becoming a part of my past. I have been in limbo for far too long.
3. Despite having many of the “usual” insecurities…weight and appearance…men…being good enough, nothing has jumped out as being the “one”. What came to me as I read this prayer is that my insecurity about my ability to “hear” God is the one insecurity that is truly paralyzing me. After “knowing” that I was in God’s will about some decisions in my life and then having those things not turn out well, I cannot seem to move forward in any direction with any purpose. I just flow with wherever the current takes me. This insecurity about “hearing” God has left me feeling like I am in a pitch black, sound proof room and I know He’s supposed to be there but I can’t see Him or hear Him or feel Him. Vacant, numb is how I feel when I try to listen to God. I wish this prayer were different. I keep telling my rational self that He WAS there in my bathroom with me. #1 and #2 tell me He was there. But I don't feel it yet.
Amy
30
Married
Georgia
Thank you so much, Beth, for writing this book and recognizing that you needed (and all us women) to be free from insecurity. I picked up this book at the right time – God knew it was. Anyway, I just got done doing Chapter 9. My son was taking a nap and it was nice and quiet. I was able to read the whole prayer out loud and just cried and cried throughout. It was so good and so honest. I had a hard time at the parts where we wrote what we are afraid of (hard to say out loud and write), of struggling through a loss (just had a miscarriage), and being overly sensitive and putting too much pressure on relationships (that's so me). But I felt a cleansing in my soul and freedom through doing this. Thank you, thank you. I'm praising God and praying that He will continue to remove my insecurity. I'm praying that I will be able to share with others what He's done and possibly help them with the same thing!
I really felt chapter 9 was powerful for my life. I sat in my favorite chair and took my time. Over the week, I've heard God gently (and sometimes not so gently) whispering some parts of the prayer in reminder to me. It's been so sweet.
I'm recognizing insecurity in places all around me. Even when I was reading "The Velveteen Rabbit" to my kids the other day…I thought "why the mechanical toys and the poor velveteen rabbit are BOTH insecure, even though their demeanors are very different" Like I said, I'm recognizing insecurity everywhere. (=
Thanks so much for this book. I've already been recommending it to several of my friends
I got to read chapter 9 as my family was away for a few days. I sat quietly in the cabin where we stayed alone. I had wonderful praise music in the background. What a special time with me and my Savior! I felt like He just poured a bowl of peace over me as I read and reflected. Between sections, I would pause as to not get too overwhelmed. I would tune into the songs playing and it was like a response from him.
I have the Saturday verses posted on my flip cards. What a powerful time of healing and restoration. Thank you for the beautiful words. It was as if you looked into my heart and wrote what I needed to say. I would fill in the blank and the next session would have me pour out my heart about the last things I wrote. How awesome is our God that He uses you to speak to us directly. This was the final thing I did before we left the cabin. A perfect ending to a restful few days!
The most difficult part of this for me is…
Sallie, 41
Married
Tupelo, MS
My time with the Lord this week was absolutely amazing, humbling, humiliating, and wonderfully precious. I turned on my ipod, got out my prayer journal and wrote some of the prayer in my own handwriting. What I found is that for the first time I allowed myself to be naked before the Lord. No walls, no pretenses, just me. Man was it uncomfortable at first. I felt ashamed and humiliated. Then I felt the Lord clothe me with robes of strength and dignity. He began to renew my mind and remove all of my preconceived notions and offer me a new perspective. His perspective. Glory to God! He is changing me.
Rachel
23
Single
FL
Well, I put it off as long as I could, but finally did it! And it was wonderful. I don't know how many times I would write my responses, only to read on and have what the Lord had me put on paper confirmed! Several times, I whispered, "Wow!" I know I will need to re-read this several times for my own benefit, but I know the Lord will honor this prayer! Thanks so much Beth!
Tammi
40's
married
What's dawned on me over the the last week is that God is teaching me more of what it is to be a risk-taker for Him, and what that means to me in my faith walk.
Also, I've been trying to avoid facing God's response to my ongoing complaint of "but God I'm not strong enough!!" and can't do it any longer.
It's that He never asked or required me to be. What He's asking me to do is rely on Him and His strength because HE knows me. I need to remember that alot more often than I have been regardless of the dynamics in our family.
Diane
40
Ogden Ut
Divorced
Wow.. finally just finished Chap 9. It's taken me DAYS to get through the entire prayer. Truthfully, in part, because I've waited until the last part of my night before I go to bed to try and work through it.. and then I'm way too sleepy. Tonight I finally backtracked and started it earlier in the evening. I underline when something stands out to me and I underlined soooo much! I felt like I was really the one who had written so much of it! If you could have seen me, you would have seen me nodding my head in agreement through much of it. It's really important that I reread (maybe several times!) it. Thank you for doing that for us, Beth. Thank you, GOD, for using Beth as Your vehicle! I pray this is the beginning of healing for all of us Siestas!
Love you,
Missy
Sumter, SC
42
Single
I did chapter 9 this morning, after I got all the kids to school. IT was the only time I would be alone for the next several days and I wanted dignity…NOW!
Well I bawled from start to finish. IT was just the cry this weary heart needed. I have believed so many lies of disbelief these past few months. It was like the world stopped and it was just the two of us…and I matter to Him. I've believed a lie of nothingness for a long time now. What I thought was humility was self deprecation. "I am NOTHING." I have said over and over again. No, Maryellen Margaret . You are a princess of the King of Kings and Lord of Lords! How dare you forget your royalty. Start acting like it! My "nothing" forgot the rest of the story, that "without Him" part. With Him, I am a woman of noble character and I am NOT for entertainment purposes only. I am here for a purpose and not just to make people laugh….WOW all over again. I walked away from that gift of prayer and when I began to stumble today, do you know what HE did. He stopped me. He didn't let me fail, even when I was about to. Now I know there will be times He will let me have a good stumble. But no, I won't need 6 more books to stand with dignity. Nope, just one. Sorry, I don't have all of my scriptures ready. I will go over them tonight. Just could not let this full heart go to bed like this!
I have wanted to leave a post… haven't known what to say, until a conversation I had with God about it. As I read the first 1/2 of the book, I found I was identifying with insecurities that I had NO IDEA I had been carting around. By the time I made it to Chapter 7 I proclaimed I was indeed a bowl of Insecurity Soup. A little of this one, a little of that one -so many things to ponder and pray over floating in my bowl.
What God showed me was that with any good bowl of soup, often you can't just dive into it – you need to first sit back and blow on it until it's a tempature you can swallow. After that each bite shares with you an abundance of flavors that leave you feeling satisfied. So I have been blowing on my soup – just me and God – and unexpected and enjoyable lunch companion.
So please know that I have been working along side of you from the beginning, but I haven't written because I've been blowing on my soup. Working things out with God. As I march into Chapter 9 I feel ready to satify my soul with a 'hearty' soup made in Beth's Kitchen using God's ingredients.
Did not receive any revelations from the last chapter, but my breath was taken away by the statement on page 174. “Help me to recognize that I’ve lost my dignity only because I have surrendered it.” YIKES.
Five scriptures: 2 out of the five have the word confident. God is so right, I am confident in Him, but not yet in myself.
Psalm 27:13
I am still CONFIDENT of this: I will see the goodness of the LORD in the land of the living.
Hebrews 10:23
Let us hold unswervingly to the hope we profess, for he who promised is faithful.
Jeremiah 29:11 (New International Version)
11 For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.
Romans 8:38-39 (New International Version)
38For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons,[a] neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, 39neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord.
Philippians 1:5-7 (New International Version)
5because of your partnership in the gospel from the first day until now, 6being CONFIDENT of this, that he who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus.
Anita
36ish
Single-ish
Mansfield, TX
I still need to catch up here. We went on vacation, but I had to post. To the Siesta who talked about looking at the old black and white photos…I did the same thing this week. It was an old b&w of my mom back in the early 60's. She was dressed up for an awards night for GA's (Girls in Action…bible club) I wish you could see it. She had on a white dress, page boy hair cut, and the sweetest proudest smile. I looked at that photo and thought, "Oh girl, the future you have ahead of you." My mom looked at it and said, "That was a long time ago." I know we were both thinking along the same lines. Your post reminded me to not think about the bad things of the past, but to be full of praise for the salvation our God has given both my mom and me. He had a plan for us!
Love & Hugs,
Michelle
I am the vine, and the Lord is the fruit…and oh how glorious does His Rich Fruit bless me! Our precious Father continues to amaze my heart and soul. I know that may sound weird, since I should never be "shocked" by what He can do…but I believe those are the precious moments that keep us totally surrendered to Him!! Those miracle moments, that cleanse us from the inside-out! And "shock" us to the great depths of our souls, with an almighty POWER that only He can bring forth within us!PRAISE GOD!…PRAISE GOD!
It took me several days to make the time to pray this prayer. I felt a huge relief and calmness after my prayer time. I believe God heard me and He is working on answering every request. I'm believing God and with His help, I am being un-entangled (if that's a word) from insecurity!
Patti, Kissimmee, FL, Married 40's
Janice
60's widow
Lake Forest, Ca
This prayer has empowered me. I feel more confident than ever before, and it isn't coming from me. It is coming from our Lord and Saviour Jesus Christ. I am in the healing mode right now and I'm so thankful to God.
Janice
60's Widow
Lake Forest, Ca
Oh yeah, I definately forgot to mention the tears flowing as I prayed this prayer. Thank God for you Beth. Thank god for you.
1, something I specifically received from the time of prayer…. actually, the time to do it. I read ahead on this… knowing you were going to give us at least Chapter 9, I figured to start on it, and when I realized it was a chapter to "do" I was going to delay it, but looked ahead to my weekend and knew I had no time. My husband was gone with the kids for another half hour, so I tried. It took me an hour to work though… and when I was done, I still had another 10 minutes before they got home. The other specific thing was the revelation of what I have been afraid of… failing in my job as administrator of my church, and being found wanting, or having the search team resenting, or regretting that they hired me. And along with these realizations, that God will only shine light on those things He is willing to heal!
2. It was hard to narrow down to five verses. I have 6 right now. Interestingly enough, they're some of the very verses I did with the LPM Scripture Memory for 2009.
Joshua 1:9
2 Timothy 1:7
Galations 5:1
Psalm 37:5 (From the Simulcast this past year in Green Bay)
Psalm 112:7
Psalm 119:32 – this one bears writing out…
"I run in the paths of Your commands, for You have set my heart free!"
Heather
Mosinee, WI
Married
30's
Denise
Augusta, GA
40's
Single
I found this weeks assignment to be very powerful. I have to admit there were times I had to remind myself to exhale. I actually wrote out the prayer (Beth, you just didn't give me enough space for my responses!)so it took me about 3 hours to pray, write, pause, listen, contemplate, shed tears, and start the process over again.
What pained me the most was realizing that my God hold's memories of autrocities done to me at the hands of other's. And he so graciously chooses to never let me have access to those memories. It became real to me for the first time that when each perpetrator was bringing damage to my delicate child's soul, that at the same time they were inflicting pain on my God as well. Such a painful realization that it still brings me to tears.
Beth, I just couldn't choose 5 verses. There were actually 13 verses I found that were timely and spoke to my heart.
So sorry to post late this week. Spring Break has meant almost no alone time for me. I actually went into my bathroom with the door locked and fan on so I could be "alone". Wow, what a powerful prayer. I felt like all of it was written specifically for me. I cried a lot as I felt God's love sweep over me. The release has been amazing.
I feel like God has put situations in front of me to help me get rid of my insecurities. Last Friday, my husband and I saw Casting Crowns and it was wonderful. The thing I'll remember, though, is Mark Hall talking about his insecurities. Oh, he didn't use the actual word, but that's what he was talking about. He talked about how he could let these things get in the way of his ministry, but he doesn't. It was like he was speaking directly to me! I tend to think that people in positions like that have it all together. How refreshing to see that we all have stumbling blocks and I have no reason to make excuses anymore. Thanks for an incredible week.
Stacey
30's
Sugar Land, TX
Married
I'm way behind with this b/c I was in Ethiopia (!) on a Compassion Sponsor Tour–and it was a great, great time! ANYHOW, I did Chapter 9 today.
Whenever I am asked to do an assignment like this, I have lots of insecurity that it "won't work" because I am not believing enough or "doing it right". So, just to do it and trust God to use it is an act of faith for me.
I feel much less alone–how did you know the thoughts I'm thinking?? Just that encourages me, and I am looking forward WITH FAITH to see God use this in my life.
I missed the week of listing verses but went back and read them–I also loved the "circling the mountain long enough, now go north", and also picked:
Isaiah 41:10 (Do not look anxiously about)
Psalm 27:1 (Whom shall I fear indeed?)
Psalm 44:3: (It was God who won the victory b/c He loved them)
2 Cor 10:4 (from SMT–divine power to demolish strongholds)
Romans 4:20-21: (I need to be fully persuaded that God has the power to do this!)
40's (barely)
O'Fallon, MO
Single
Darcy
37
Married
Florida
OK, so I'm a little behind between sick kids and a few other stressors in life but I finally found some quiet time to do Chap 9 prayer yesterday. It was a sweet time with some tears. I think what has moved me the most is that I am clothed with DIGNITY. That has resonated deep within me and I find myself telling myself that throughout the day.
I loved the statement, "Every gift, challenge, and obstacle is meant to shape the specific destiny You ordained for me before time began." Just reminded me that everything in my life, HE uses and HE is "incapable of wasting our time."
There were so many things that spoke to me and I know HE is working in me and healing some things. I haven't picked my 5 scriptures yet but will do that today. Looking forward to this weeks assignment.
I completed Chapter 9 on Monday in my quiet time and was so blessed. I had some time alone again on Thursday morning and went through it again – on my knees – and was blessed all over again. I was so amazed at just how much of what God gave you to share with us resonated with me, and I was able to pour my heart out to God and really felt His presence and love so strongly. So cleansing to pour out to God what He already knew, but things I needed to confess to Him and seek His healing. I know that healing is coming because the Holy Spirit has already begun to prompt me before I react in certain ways.
Thank you so much for allowing God to use you in such a tremendous way.
Dianne
Hartselle, AL
50's
It's been a doozy of a week, and after spreading chapter 9 out over several days, I finally completed it this morning. Brennan is babbling in his crib as I type this…I don't want to go get him until I've written my comment! 🙂
God was surely the One who authored this prayer. The part that stuck out to me the most was the section where I asked forgiveness for the ways I've been personally responsible for my own insecurity. Also, the Lord continues to hone in on how I am afraid of change; not that I've walked through much change in my life, but I've had loved ones walk through tremendous change, leaving me fearful of what change He may allow in my life to transform me. I read a poignant question about this recently: "How fully can you surrender and not be afraid?" Well, not very far. But God is working and moving, and I trust that He who has begun a good work in me, freeing me of all this, will carry it to completion!
I loved the part where we could list the people we're thankful for who have shown us glimpses of Jesus. What a way to start out the day being grateful for those precious loved ones!!
Oh, the hope these two prayers brought me: Help me to trust that You only shed light where You're willing to heal, and Don't stop until You've made a miracle of me. Amen and Amen!!
Have a blessed weekend!! Enjoy the bluebonnets…they're real purty this year. 🙂 I'm off…the babbling has turned into a more demanding yell. Love to you all.
Jesus is so powerfully faithful! I have LOVED reading this book, gained insight into women's insecurity, and seen great examples in other people, but it was SO hard for me to see in what ways I was insecure. I have two great parents who have taught me since FOREVER who I am in Jesus so there are many parts of me that are secure. But I knew that there were insecure parts of me too…BUT WHERE? I did not want to get to the end of this book, still secure where I was secure but still insecure where I didn't know I was insecure.
Since I knew chapter 9 was about dealing with insecurity I begged Jesus to reveal to me my insecurities…and FAITHFUL as He is, HE DID! So many things that I thought were just other sin issues in my life (unkindness, vanity, low self-esteem, pride, self exultation, etc…) actually were insecurity! Beth, you may have been saying that all along, but I finally got it!
It felt like that prayer was written right from my heart, saying the things I felt but didn't even know or didn't even know how to say. Usually pre-written prayers don't speak to me very much, but the Holy Spirit so wrote that one that it totally resonated with me.
So where to from here? He revealed Himself to me by revealing myself to me and cleansed me from my sin caused by my insecurity. I feel so encouraged to know we are all on a journey and He will clothe me with strength and dignity, and continue to help me find my security in Him so that I can be free from hurting myself and hurting others with my insecurity!
He is so WONDERful, POWERful, and FAITHful!
Praise His beautiful name!
Chesney
Knoxville
16
single
Beth,
The Holy Spirit utters what we cannot.
That's what this pray was for me.
Thank you for letting Him speak through you in such an intimate way!
Pam
40s
Florida
Karen
Chandler, AZ
40's and married
Made time this morning to slowly pray through the prayer, along with my handy journal I journaled the write in parts since I am going to be loaning out my book. Also journaled things that really stood out to me, really resonated with me. Turned out to be 10 pages of journaling, but so worth the time and tears.
God has been teaching me so much in this area that I have already had cried so many tears. I did not bawl as i did this, but I did have tears and true repentance.
Just a few things that stood out: "God has not shortchanged me. I have short changed myself." Wow this stopped me for awhile. The Lord had already revealed how defective I felt growing up, inside and out and I had blamed God for that for so long, still struggled with that at times when I felt really ugly or too shy, and may again, but I feel empowered to know I have control in this and don't need to let destructive thoughts determine my actions or my faith! God made me the way He intended and I can rest in that and be clothed with strength and dignity in that.
God says that a woman who fears the Lord shall be praised, not a woman of what-the-world-says is beautiful. I hurt myself when I linger at ads of a woman who looks the way I want to and let envy steal the joy of who God made me to uniquely look. I hurt myself when I compare myself to someone who is more out-spoken and assertive than me because God me more on the quiet side but that does not mean I have nothing important to say as the enemy tries to convince me of. God is my security. "Every gift, challenge, and obstacle is meant to shape the specific destiny you ordained for me before time began." I choose to be a courages woman in this culture and in my family, to teach my three boys to love Him and to break the cycle of criticalness and self-defeat. To know who my enemy is, but to focus on the One who already secured victory for me and for each of us. I want to be able to say and keep on saying "So Long Insecurity!!"
God Bless you all as you seek to unload all He shows you. I have been blessed to read some of your posts and know I am not alone in this battle.
Love in HIM,
Karen
1. That was a great assignment. I really enjoyed my time in prayer. Thank you so much for giving us a guide. You helped me recall many things I needed forgiveness for that Im not sure I would have remembered to include. Im so blessed to have that as a reference to help me pray the next time I feel a trigger raising its ugly head! There is freedom in laying it all out before the Lord, He is so faithful to forgive!!
2. Beth, thank you for your faithfulness to always guide us back to scripture for encouragement and strength that we know only the Lord can give!
Erin
Glendale, CALIFORNIA
32
Happily Married
Man, I keep forgetting to put my details!
Meghan
30s
Round Rock, TX
Married
It took me a while to read Chapter Nine. I think I was afraid nothing would change. I want to be set free. The part that hit home was about forgiveness for my unbelief and the need for affirmation..I'm that perfectionist that resist for fear of failure. Oh Lord help my confidence be in you!
Sharon
40something
Divorced
New York
Chapter 9, wow, what an amazing breakthrough. I had been trying for 2 weeks to do chapter 9. I knew it was going to require some focused time and I was struggling to find it. God really timed it just right for me too. I had just come out of an intense moment of fellowship with my husband and my feelings were very exposed. Well as soon as I started praying out loud I started balling. The first section made me very comfortable though. The words fit me and my situation so well I felt like it was my personal prayer, written by my own hand. The part about not needing to hide anything from God and not having to pretend that I am more together than I really am hit home. The word 'transparency' means so much.
All of this was great but there is one section that just resonates into the deepest parts of my being. 'You see every fissure in my soul, and You look beyond the point of my failure to the depth of my need'. How many times do we just get hung up at the failure. We will berate and condemn ourselves because of it, without seeing it through. God sees it through, He sees the need.
Another section where it talks about our relentless pursuit of control and how we will nurse a swollen ego. I don't have an ego but I will for sure hang on to anger or hurt. How many times have we been hurt, unbeknounced, by our spouse and we stomp around in the house, slam the cupboard doors. If he says 'What is wrong?' we say 'NOTHING' I will nurse that anger until it is spilling out everywhere. This can also be categorized as 'SILENT SUFFERING' Huge display of insecurity.
Scriptures:
*Seek the LORD and his strength; seek his presence continually! Psalm 105:4
*"Many are the sorrows of the wicked but steadfast love surrounds the one who trusts in the Lord. — Psalm 32: 10
*The LORD himself goes before you and will be with you; He will never leave you nor forsake you. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged. Deuteronomy 31:8 NIV
*And we pray this in order that you may live a life worthy of the Lord and may please him in every way: bearing fruit in every good work, growing in the knowledge of God, being strengthened with all power according to his glorious might so that you may have great endurance and patience, and joyfully giving thanks to the Father, who has qualified you to share in the inheritance of the saints in the kingdom of light. ~Colossians 1:10-12
* Submit yourselves, then, to God. Resist the devil, and he will flee from you. 8 Come near to God and he will come near to you. 2 Corinthians 3:17

* Now the Lord is the Spirit, and where the Spirit of the Lord is, there is freedom. Psalm 34:4 (NIV)
* I sought the LORD, and he answered me; he delivered me from all my fears.