When God first drew me to Bible study curriculum, I had no thought of ever having an office or even a “ministry.” I fell in love with Scripture at my old dining room table in my late twenties after taking a Bible doctrine class. Over the course of weeks, months and then years, that table was bow-legged and piled halfway to the ceiling with resources, pages, colored pens. It hardly ever had an actual meal set on it. If folks needed to eat, I reasoned, they could eat at the breakfast table. My man got so weary of book-tyranny that he practically did a cartwheel in his cowboy boots when I found a tiny office space at a nearby building that we could (barely) afford.

Over the years and one wonderful person at a time, God built a true team and led us from that office building to our own (house-like) ministry building. (Only about 14 of us work in-office, in case you’re trying to picture the size.) One of my very favorite parts about working here amid these fine women of God is lunch conversation. We have staff prayer time on Mondays at noon so, between the other four workdays a week and my travel schedule, I usually average about 2-3 lunches a week with these dear sisters, ranging in age, in background and denomination. But those times are highlights for me and we talk a hundred miles an hour and, many times, laugh a creak in our necks. Occasionally at lunch I throw a topic out on the table and hold a mental bucket wide open to catch what tumbles out of my coworkers mouths. If Curtis happens to be at lunch that day, it’s even better. He is man enough and opinionated enough to provide a welcome shore for this sea of estrogen. Today there were only 6 of us girls so, late in the lunch, I said to them, “OK, I have a question for the table.”

I told them about one of my LPL praise team members showing me some writings that his new wife had done (with her permission, of course). They were psalms, really. Gorgeous outpourings of love and need and wrestling and waiting that she’d written to God over the course of what I’d suppose was a decade. The book was compiled from portions of her prayer journal and, as I read them, I marveled at the beauty and almost blushed at the intimacy. One thing was certain: Jesus was and is the uncontested love of her life. And, from her husband’s point of view, he was twice as loved and blessed because he was second to God (and God alone).

Reading her journal stirred up a fresh longing in me. I know a woman who poured out pages and pages and pages like that. No, not as beautifully most of the time, but often as intimately. Jesus has been life to me. Redemption from wreckage. I know He has been the same to many of you. But here is the conflict her journal whipped up in me. In many of those extended periods of time when I’ve poured out my heart like that days-upon-end, I was going through extreme crisis and marrow-deep healing. (One season was as recently as nine months ago so, certainly, not all of these are in the past.) In my normal practice when I’m not in complete crisis mode, my sweetest and dearest relationship in life is still with Jesus. Even in all my frailty and fallenness, He is how I start my day.  I always make confession of sin toward the beginning, get into His Word then pray for myself for several minutes right at the end but, in between, Girlfriend, I HAVE A LIST! I mean, mature believers are meant to have healthy intercessory lives, right? The New Testament summons us over and over to pray for one another. I keep a prayer journal of intercession with multiple people on it everyday. And, then, all these natural disasters! We have to be on our faces, don’t we? And, what about the spiritual condition of this country?? It needs prayer, doesn’t it? “If My people who are called by My Name, will humble themselves and pray and seek my face…”

Yes and yes and yes and yes and yes, yes, yes, yes, YES. BUT, we will miss out on the new wine of life if we do not also spend time in the presence of Jesus just simply being present with Jesus. Most things don’t fix on their own. We don’t automatically forgive on our own. Or heal on our own. Or put others first on our own. Or discern between good and evil on our own. Or comprehend the Scriptures on our own. We are the children of God and our hearts need tending and mending that only He can bring. And, in our intercessory roles, we’re also wise to come to grips with the fact that we’re not in control and our whole worlds won’t fall apart if we don’t get through our lists today.

SO, here’s the question! How do we balance both kinds of prayer: for others and for ourselves?? How do you grapple with this dilemma? Most of the time, I let crisis be my guide and when I need more personal tending, I spend more personal time with God on matters concerning my own heart. I think that’s a good plan and it’s worked fairly well for a long time. But, then, I read something like that young woman’s journal and I long for that level of personal intimacy with Christ every single day. Anybody else?? I know there’s no getting this thing down pat but I think I need some shifting and sifting in my prayer life.

We had the richest conversation over it at lunch time and now I’d love to hear your take on it. So far from our conversation, I think I’ve decided that I’m going to stay with my usual early morning prayer-practice with the primary emphasis on intercession for most days a week, but, at least for a little while, I’m going to take two mornings back a week, primarily just for Him and me. Times just to bring my own needy heart before Him with concentration and  complete transparency for fresh intimacy and revival. More than the few minutes I spend on other days. Needless to say, this is all subject to the daily leadership of the Holy Spirit and He can turn the whole thing upside down any time He wants but I think I’m about to get that pen back out and write some new love letters to the dearest Love of my life.

Anybody else struggling with how to pray? I’m not talking about formulas here nor doing the same thing the same way every day. I’m just talking about some basic balance. Anybody found some?? Let’s hear it! (Not too long, ladies! Think succinct!) Scripture tells us to encourage one another and stimulate one another’s hearts and minds toward the Lord Jesus. That’s what Siestaville is all about. Don’t freak out if it’s morning before we post many of your comments. Keith just called me and wants me to go somewhere with him this evening so I won’t be able to bring in comments much tonight. I’ll bring in a few this afternoon then K-Mac and I will get the rest of them posted as we can. You are dear to us around here! I missed you at the lunch table today.

P.S. Make me a promise that nobody falls into condemnation here. I am well aware that some of you moms of young children (and some of you caring for elderly parents) are doing well to get ten minutes alone with the Lord.  He meets us where we are.  Let’s stay healthy here. Let’s also encourage one another to grow in our intimacy with Christ.

Hey, Siestas! I just printed out Day 1 of Week 5 of the James manuscript (ultimately, there will be seven weeks of homework, God willing) and decided to take a few minutes before I dive into the next thing. Actually, I wish we could just sit and talk for a little while. I’m in a chatty mood. One day soon we’re going to figure out how we can do some informal live streaming video and skype some of you guys on here. Wouldn’t that be fun? I have one of my trusty coworkers looking into that right now and I’ll keep you posted.

I’m working from home today because Keith is out for the day and two dogs are WAY too many to take to the office. Talk about mass pandemonium. Geli (Keith’s bird dog) is big enough to jump the back fence at the office and, when I bring her inside, she decides that any toy Star picks up is exactly the one she’s always wanted and barks her head off with that really jealous kind of yelp. So, I’m home today and getting to take a break right at my very own breakfast room table. (And dining room table and all-purpose visiting table and our only table.)

I wish you were sitting right across from me and, while we were taking our Bible study break, I’d fix you some of this, too.

That’s one of my favorite afternoon snacks. It’s actually tea instead of coffee because it goes so well with the Milano Cookies. I dip them into the hot tea so the chocolate melts and then I hold it on my tongue until it disintegrates. Yum. That sounded so good that I’m stopping for another bite. Lord have mercy. I’m so glad He gave us tongues.

Amanda is the one who got me started on a spot of tea. (Just a small spot. Not a true devotee.) She never got into the coffee mania of renown with her sister, father, and me but we were ecstatic when she developed taste buds for hot tea while she and Curtis lived in northern England. She took to their very basic (cheap) variety and it’s a good thing because it’s easy to get here in the States. I keep a box of it in the cabinet at all times so she can have tea when she’s over while Lis and I have coffee.

As I sit here sipping tea, these are a few of the thoughts rolling around in my bleached blond head…

How much I loved what I got to see earlier on a stroll by myself:

I totally dig turtles. They’re such a mixture of hard and soft.

How I love looking at Star after she’s been to the groomer. I took her today for her second hot-weather cut. Once I realized she wasn’t going to be shamed by it (grin), I asked them to go a little shorter. She’s just darling. Looks just like a puppy. I wish you could see her tail because they left it really fluffy. It looks so odd that I can’t quit grinning at her. I keep telling her that I’m laughing with her and not at her but that’s what my girls say to me and I know better.

How fresh this verse is hitting me. It came up in my quiet time yesterday (out of the fifth week of “Brave”) and I thought how much that one half-a-verse answers. Just think about it! Revel in a pure-dee NEVER, EVER! In a life of grays, give me some black and white! I took it to staff prayer time yesterday and we worked on memorizing it together.

One by one we coworkers mentioned various concerns we had, all the way from personal to global issues, then we followed each one up by saying the verse together in unison. We truly felt the power of God fall on us. Then we played a goofy word game. On rare occasion, I feel just devious enough to see if I can bring out the friendly spirit of competition in my very godly staff members. I was feeling it yesterday. I had printed multiple copies of the verse out in a big font and in as many different colors as I had coworkers. I then cut out each word, threw them all in a bag, shook them up then, after our lesson, poured them out on the table in a big mess and said, “GO!” They had to choose a color (some shades were gleefully similar) and arrange each word of the verse in order. As I explained the objective and was just about to pour them out, one of them said in a frenzy, “Are we trying to see who can do it the fastest?” No, I said. But I wouldn’t mind if you tried. And it was a free for all. Made me really laugh. It’s a wonder they didn’t draw blood. Love them so much.

Let’s see what else has been going through this head…

How I cannot BELIEVE that we are going to see THIS SIGHT TONIGHT:

TOO MUCH!!!!!! Amanda has cried two dozen times and I’ve cried one dozen. Curtis is so proud he can’t stand it but he’ll bite his lip bloody trying not to join Amanda and I in our sappiness. Our man-child! We’ll have a kindergarten student in three short months. Good grief. Somebody stop how fast this is going! He is one of the most wonderful things that has ever happened to this family. So full of life. So hilarious. So BIG in all his feelings and reactions. He left these by Melissa’s old bed last week when he went to sleep at our house and I can’t bring myself to move them one single inch.

And, lastly, BUT FAR FROM THE LEAST, I am thinking about hopping on that plane and heading to Eden Prairie, Minnesota this weekend for Living Proof Live.

I am so excited about this one! (I know you’re thinking “You say that every time,” but somehow God stirs up a unique brand of anticipation in my heart for almost every single one. Sometimes it comes from pain. Sometimes from joy. Sometimes it comes from passion for a Word burning a hole through me but it always comes with a feeling toward that event in particular. Only Jesus can do that.) God began speaking to me about the subject matter a week or so ago and I’ve been trying to listen hard and wide. I’m sad to say that we won’t have a ticket giveaway this week because this one blew our minds by selling out a while back. We’re in a church this time so there’s not the seating of an arena but it’s still a whopping forty-three hundred women. Make no mistake. That is a big group! Anything past 200 gives me a serious case of butterflies and, if there are any men in the less-than-200, that gives them to me worse. Give me girls, Lord.) We are thrilled to be in a sanctuary and cannot wait to meet the group God is drawing. Any time an event sells out, we think, “Wooooo-EEEEEE!” (Hear that like Jed Clampett) “If God has stirred up that kind of expectation, He must be up to something! We don’t want to miss Him for the world!” Well, OK. I’m probably the only one that actually says “woooo-eeeee” (well, Travis – AKA Jethro – does, too) but we all feel a blast of anticipation if that body of believers shows a heightened expectation of God in any discernible way. If they’re especially excited, so are we!

Well, look what’s gone and happened:

I guess break time is over but, man, you were good company while it lasted. I think of you everyday. I’m so proud of you guys for pursuing Jesus amid the train wrecks and derailments of life that I hardly know what to say. He is so worthy, Sisters. He is so worthy.

Keep turning your eyes to the skies…

“For You, Lord, have NEVER forsaken those who seek You.”

Siesteville from LPV on Vimeo.

Hey, Sweet Things! Amanda, Melissa, and I are on a night-or-two-close-by-getaway and we watched that silly video together last night and nearly laughed till we cried over how tired that woman was. The irony was that I actually thought I had rested up a bit. (And said so.) I could hardly put two words together. BUT, it was done with love! If not brain cells! You are good sports.

Hey, Sweet Things! Today is my first official day back to work after the James taping and the first thing I did, after hugging coworkers, was sit down and tape a video greeting to you. It takes a day or two to get it on Vimeo but we’ll have it up here on the blog just as soon as we can. It’s, of course, mostly ridiculous except to us Siestas so rein in your expectations. It’s just me saying hey to you after being away for so long and thanking you for your prayers. But as God would have it, I have another reason to hop on here today. I’ve been waiting for it to come in so that I could tell you about it and we literally just opened the box. Here it is:

It’s the brand new (workbook) So Long Insecurity Group Experience! Look really closely now:

Exactly right here:

Lean on in!

One more time!

This one’s for you, Siestas. It hits the shelves this coming week. I love you so dearly. We’ll do a giveaway soon but I couldn’t wait till then to show it to you. I’m not meaning to make a bigger deal out of it than it is but, Girlfriend, it’s big to me. Your Mama.