I’ve been thinking about something since a week ago Saturday that I’m not sure I can articulate well. I’m going to give it a shot, though. Over the couple of years we’ve shared this community, I’ve seen enough of you refer to teaching Bible studies or speaking at retreats or to various groups that it may, should God care to use it, answer a few questions. Or, then again, it could more likely save you the energy of asking them. Some things are just a mystery.
Like callings.
And grace.
And how much of an accomplished work has anything to do with human vessels or are we of no consequence whatsoever. The question is not, could God use anybody? We know that’s a yes. It’s not even, does God prefer weakness so He can show Himself strong? That’s also a clear yes. What’s less clear is how much that “weak-anybody” has one iota’s bearing on what God does with him from then on. And, what are the differences between the times we are called upon by God to labor intensely toward a victory with every last ounce of energy we have (Colossians 1:29) and times when we just stand there and watch God do the thing like we weren’t even there. Or maybe we see nothing happen at all and go home in near despair, only for somebody to drop a note to us and say, “God spoke the word to me that day that I’ve waited all my life to hear.” Sometimes they quote what they heard and you know good and well it wasn’t you who said it. God talked around you instead of through you.
So, what part is God and what part is man? Twenty-five years in, I have no idea. And, I’m just weird enough to be strangely exhilarated by the fresh pulsation that I don’t. Yes, of course, we’re told to walk worthy of our callings (Ephesians 4:1) but could we walk worthy enough to enjoy a consistent, full-throttle Presence and anointing?
I doubt it.
If these are simple questions with simple answers, you may not have been around this bend often enough yet. Ask some folks who’ve spent decades at podiums like Kay Arthur, Anne Graham Lotz, Louie Giglio, James McDonald, and a host of others the devil hasn’t yet harassed into quitting and they might agree that some things get more mysterious with time. Not less.
There are too many things that don’t make sense. For communicators who give one whit about being honest-to-God (I mean that literally) Spirit-led, filled, and anointed servants, there’s no finding a formula. There’s no learning how to hit and not miss. There is no exact list and order of Spiritual disciplines to practice. Fasting every Monday, for instance, may seem to be the key attraction of God’s favor for a while but it soon wears off and you consider whether or not to add Tuesday. Nothing “works” every time. Don’t get me wrong. I believe in fasting. I’m just saying that, if you think you can use it to induce God’s unwavering favor, you’re probably going to get pretty hungry. There is no secret PIN number for His ATM. It’s God’s safeguard for keeping us from being more committed to our disciplines than to Him.
Here are a few other things I’ve learned about gifted speaking. There is no physical condition or best mood to be in. There is no amount of self-abhorrence, self-flagellation, competence or confidence to make you best suited for a mighty work of God. There is no perfect place, format, or group where “it” happens without fail. There is no type of message that never falls flat. Or, there hasn’t been for me. There’s simply no outsmarting it. Absolutely no mastering it.
We’re splitting hairs here so stay with me until your mind gets good and muddled and only then will you get what I’m trying to say. To be sure, there are some basic ways we can cooperate with God for consistency and fruitfulness. Thank You, Lord. There are ways we can intentionally live our lives to His great glory and serve and love in His beautiful name. Bless You, Father. If not, in our earthbound wanderings, how ironically lost would we, the saved, be? But, as those who have the gall or call, responsibility or culpability to stand before a group of listeners, is there any way to insure that God will bless a message with a significant work of His Spirit?
I’m not talking here about manipulating God or trying to make Him behave. I’m not talking about trying to get Him to make you look good. I’m talking about the sheer attempt to prepare well enough, pray thoroughly enough, be humble enough (and not be proud of it) or do it all right enough in His eyes for Him to always perceptibly bless it. Honestly, there are just times when we disagree with God about what is best for Him.
What I’m talking about here is almost indefinable. I’d more easily be able to tell you how it feels than tell you what it is and yet sometimes it’s there and there’s no feeling it at all. Muddled yet? The closest I can come to naming it is God’s anointing and, if that’s the long and short of it, no wonder we can’t tame it or formulize it. The very nature of divine favor is that it is unmerited. And the very nature of God being God is that He is sovereign. As the Psalmist says, Our God is in the heavens and He does what He has pleased.
For the life of me I can’t figure out the common denominator tying together the times God really shows up. Two things are for certain. Sometimes He shows up without us even knowing it. Other times we’ll be positive He’s coming and later think He must have googled the wrong address.
This speaking thing is baffling. Beyond mastery. It’s not for the fainthearted or the full-of-themselves. Unless a person is certifiably clueless or narcissistic beyond all hope of recovery, he or she will soon discover that what ego it builds, it also tears down. What wins out at the end of any given year is a total toss-up. In human reckoning, you could be brilliant one moment and a drooling fool the next. You can give the same message three times and the Holy Spirit hit like a lightning bolt, give it a fourth time with the same passion and authenticity and have it fall, to quote my grandmother, flatter than a flitter. I’ve never known what a flitter is but I am more than sure I’ve been flatter.
Think twice before you beg to be up front. This is the kind of thing you only want to do if you can’t keep from it. If God ever throws you up there, best to just keep your ego out of it. You can either be crucified to self or let God give you a good killing right in front of everybody. You better learn quickly and repeatedly that it’s not about you and that self-loathing is as self-absorbed as inordinate self-love. And, whatever you do, don’t get into the rut of letting your personal devotional time with God get supplanted by preparations to speak or teach. The enemy will put few subtler temptations in front of you. Every decent Bible student knows we reap what we sow but the tricky part is the sizable time gap that can occur between that sowing and reaping. When it stretches over a considerable amount of time, we think we’re getting away with it. Maybe God’s even blessing it. In His strange way, you may not see the fall-out of the loss of lively, daily relationship with Him for months but make no mistake. It’s coming. It’s a slow bleed and often you’re not aware that the lifeblood has left you until you are stone-cold dead. Thank goodness God has a penchant for resurrections. You better guard your intimacy with Him like your dying breath.
God’s love for us and our value before Him are insurmountable and unwavering. Our daughter-ship or son-ship is unconditional. His worthiness is unquestionable. Let me say that again. His worthiness is unquestionable. These are the things that must occupy us. These are the underpinnings of our security as His laborers in this harvest of souls. Things like our fitness or spiritual performance or numbers don’t just ebb and flow. They shake like a bottle of oil and vinegar duct taped to a jackhammer.
I’ve thought about this off and on for twenty years and two hundred reasons but I’ll tell you what brought it all up on this blog.
Remember last weekend’s simulcast? Those of you who participated may remember me saying that I’d had such big plans for it. As well as I know how to decipher it, not selfish or temporal plans. I honestly believed that so many women giving up their Saturdays were worthy of much deliberation, study, and preparation. And it goes without saying that God was worthy of those things and more. I felt like He must have been up to something strange and remarkably eternal to have put together numbers of women none of us could have anticipated. My plan was to give a profuse amount of time to preparation and illustration so that I could actually be familiar enough with my material not to do my usual thing. My normal approach is something like – let me think of a delicate word for it – regurgitation. I seldom hit a platform unprepared but no one is going to accuse me of being impressively organized. For the most part, a thousand bites of information are swirling around like butterflies in my stomach and I just get up there and throw it all up.
The simulcast was to be the exception. I got home late the Saturday night before from a Living Proof Live in Florida and headed to church only to get a text from my firstborn, Amanda, telling me that her husband, Curtis, wasn’t feeling well and suspected something could really be wrong. In no time at all, he was in surgery with what his surgeon called an appendix that had gone off like a grenade. After sitting with Amanda at the hospital through the surgery, I moved into her house with my two beloved grandchildren and she moved into the hospital with her beloved man. That’s the way we spent the better part of four days.
Just like yours, our family comes first so I can honestly tell you that I had no second thoughts and, needless to say, not the least resentment. I wouldn’t have missed it for anything nor would I want to miss the next round. I have no intention of forfeiting my grandparent rights and responsibilities. I love Jackson and Annabeth like I love my own two daughters. Every minute I spent with them was my honor and joy and, yes, delightfully hard work. Every now and then I’d look up at the heavens and say something like, “Lord, I sure hope you’re preparing for Saturday while I’m keeping babies!”
And He was. He’s always faithful.
By late Wednesday night, Amanda took back the reins and her in-laws arrived first thing Thursday. At that point, my thoughts shifted totally to the simulcast. By Saturday morning, the Lord had graciously helped me prepare the two lessons. I was fine with them. Not fabulous with them but at peace. They were meaningful to me and appropriate for the occasion, I think, but, alas, not what I had planned. (Please don’t think I’m fishing for encouragement here. It would deflect severely from the point.)
This is where you come into the story. A few hours after the simulcast concluded Amanda called me and told me that comments were already coming in on the blog and that I ought to give them a glance. She thought I’d be blessed. I did and she was right, I was so thankful to God and was absolutely certain -100% – that anything of value was His doing. Then I came upon a comment I will never forget. It was posted at exactly 6:29. It said something like this: “I will always remember that we studied Ephesians 4:24 on 4/24.” (April 24th) Somebody may as well have hit me in the head with a sledge hammer. I went completely slack-jawed and stared at those words over and over. It had never – not once – dawned on me that God had given me Ephesians 4:24 (which was our primary verse and the whole theme of the simulcast) for 4/24. He’d given that verse to me several months earlier to memorize then I began to feel that it was His leadership toward our gathering. Still, I’d never put the reference with the date. I wasn’t that clever but God surely was. Here’s the verse. See it from the point of view of the person who has decided to put her insecurity behind her:
“put on the new self, created to be like God in true righteousness and holiness.”
He’d had it all along. Planned it to a tee. Didn’t mean for it to be complicated. Wasn’t interested in a flawless delivery. Didn’t even need it to be great. Any jar of clay would do because anything happening on the visible platform was virtually incidental…as long as it didn’t quench the Spirit. All God had in mind to do was cut through the layers of technology until we could see straight into the beating heart of the Gospel: Jesus Christ can change your life.
That’s it. Plain and simple.
I love the mysterious side of God. I love that we can’t figure Him out. I love that He honors us by choosing us and humbles us by not even needing us. I love that He is wholly beyond formulas and manipulations, because goodness knows I’m not.
I love Him.
So, what do we do with all of this since we don’t know one iota more than we did? Just keep doing what we’re called to do. In season. Out of season. When we feel good. When we don’t. Believe Him to do something huge. Trust Him when you can’t even tell He did something small. Keep your heart in it and your big head out of it.
He’s the only one who can make it happen. As for us, we don’t even know what “it” is.
“The Lord our God has secrets known to no one. We are not accountable for them, but we and our children are accountable forever for all that he has revealed to us.” Deuteronomy 29:29 NLT
Your word always sends me back to the WORD for clarification….. did David wonder about his “song for the buddled and maffled” ? How did he thnk his music ministry was going?? I see why you love him and his story so much…. what about God’s calling to Moses? -and his lame response… did God figure he would take him “as is: and use Aaron too, rather that wait for the Vessel part to mature enough to trust totally??? Go back to your first sentence about not being sure you can “articulate” it well…..God opens ears….his sheep know His voice…only God and the hearer know the message which like you said is most often “FELT” and very hard to express (ie. this comment) ….Yep, it is a Wonderful Mystery…which is the joy of it all! keep flittering away even when it feels flat!!!!!!
I so loved this simulcast you shared on Insecurity. I also loved your honesty here. Loved the 4:24 revelation. The call to communicate is on me to and I’m counting the cost again over the past couple weeks. My life is not about me. If I can point others to Jesus, I will share. I’ll never have it all together. God works in mysterious ways and He uses the most unlikely candidates as His voices. Praise HIM.
I was in the audience at FBC Woodstock for the simulcast after having had an emergency apendectomy on Monday. My mom had purchased tickets as soon as it was possible, so this had been on the calendar for months. Everyone said they understood completely that I wasn’t able to go, but I just felt like I needed to go. So I loaded myself up with the girls and headed down. And I’m so glad that I did. It was confirmation to me that the ministry that God has been shaping me for is so vitally needed. This post is only double confirmation.
The road to ministry has not gone the way I had planned (does it ever?!), and I have found myself in a season of “tentmaking” as a high school teacher while I minister as a teacher/life skills coach/discipler in the afternoons and on the weekends. I’ve had more than one friend tell me that I need to give up the ministry work for a while since God has “Obviously” shut that door I need to instead consentrate all of my time on the ministry to my students in the classroom.
I was a little disillusioned after many months of ups and downs and changes of plans, so I thought they might be right and I backed away from the ministry work. That didn’t last long. I teach the Word, I mentor women, I walk alongside them as they find freedom in Christ because I cannot do anything else. It’s the hardest, most unappreciated, most exhausting, most hurtful, most dangerous, most sacrificing job in existence; and I can’t imagine doing a single other thing with my life. It’s a challenge as a single woman to be able to minister like I desire and also provide for myself financially. But if I had to choose between ministering for free and abandoning the ministry work to spend all of my time in a classroom, I would have to figure out a “sink or swim” plan for quitting my job!
If you can do anything else, you better do it. I tried and it was an epic fail. 🙂 Beth, I understand the muddled-ness completely, and reading my thoughts in the words of another a little spooky, but encouraging, too. Thank you for this challenging and encouraging word!
Oh Miss Beth, He did it again. This has been such a tough week. My son,Jack, has Seaver’s OC (the growth plate in the heal of his foot is flapping…tough on a 9 year old athlete…he will out grow it, soon) and he has been in constant pain all week. My darling daughter Brennan has pneumonia…she has missed so much of the end of the year school stuff and I am just trying to keep fluids in her.
I have written in the front of my bible something from your blog: “No amount of success in ministry is worth failure at home.” or as the Harris brothers (“Do Hard Things”) put it, “Family is not an obstacle to ministry it is the vehicle.”
Yesterday, as I left my oldest in charge of my sick one so I could run littler ones from AWANA to birthdays (because my DH was working a double), I began to question again this “call”…who am I? Am I just walking around singing, “I am high and lifted up” or “How great I art”?
…and then I read your blog. I had to re-read it again. I am so wild about Him and so amazed that He would ever communicate to the likes of me..And I am just the kind of person who feels the need to share what God is saying.
I just want to raise holy kids, not good kids. Can I possibly serve with this mouth of mine, with my pen and be a minister to my kids as well…and then I look at your girls and I think, yes, with a lot of hard work and the knowledge I am accountable for, I can…
I needed this right now. I fear often that I am tilting at windmills and I want Him to knock me off my horse and tell me to cool it. And then HE communicates with me. Glory.
So is it Him working in us because He made us this way? I don’t know. I do know that SLI is the single most important study I have done with Believing God running a close second.
Anyway, thanks for asking the questions, and no, I don’t have the answers, but I do think you have shown me a verse that will reside in the front of my bible.
Gotta’ get off of here because my boy-child is hungry and I have to make pancakes.
Helpful insights about leadership. Short history – have taught Sunday School for children, then adults for over 20 years, BSF leadership for 6 years – have felt and dealt with the emotions and battles you mention. But the funny thing about your post – I had a nightmare after reading it – dreaming I arrived to lead Sunday School and instead walked out on a platform with thousands in the audience! In the dream I was STARTLED and paralyzed with fear and knew I couldn’t do anything but turn around and walk off. What a feeling of fear and defeat I awakened with. I then got out of bed and spent the next hour praying for you and many others who do that very hard thing of pressing on, facing the fears, doing “the thing.” Thank you for not running away from your calling.
I just got a chance to sit and catch up on your blogs. I love to hear how God moves, especially through a group of women. I am to be MC at our Mother/Daughter Banquet on May 10th at St. Paul UCC in Keokuk, IA. I have spent little time on what to say before this group of women because of my busy week. This is what I came up with, I finished a few hours ago. I read this blog after I had written my paper.
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Not long ago I asked God to give me ways to glorify His name. He answered my prayer! Last week I was asked if I would be MC for the Mother/Daughter banquet. I thought, I can do this! What a great way to give glory to the Father. But what to write? What could I say to glorify Him? Well, He answered that question too.
I began to write down a few verses that I hold dear. And then the week began…grounded the 15 year old because of his grades, babysat 13 children for Mid-Iowa and worked 12 hours Monday night. Tuesday I babysat 8 children for Stork’s Nest, Bible study that evening and back to work for 11 more hours. Wednesday I drove 90 miles to Coralville with 5, 11 and 12 year old girls playing ring tones, mind you 5 different ring tones at the same time all the way to Build A Bear Workshop, had the party and 90 miles home of “Are we there yet?” Yard sale Thursday, my daughter came home from school with a sunburn from the 6th grade track meet, a lovely band concert at the Middle School, off to work for 13 hours and in the middle of the night protected my child from the thunder and lightening of a storm with my arm across her back and my hand on her shoulder. Yard sale Friday all day and more aloe for my daughter’s sunburn. There was laundry, dusting, cooking and dishes in there somewhere.
At one point during this past week I felt especially overwhelmed. I had to go to my safe place, the bathroom, for a moment of peace and quiet. I was looking at max 5 minutes before I’d be tracked down. I leaned against the wall. I closed my eyes. And I leaned on my Abba God. With tears in my eyes I repented for feeling weak and unwilling to love others as He loved me. I asked Him to clothe me in strength and dignity as He promised in Proverbs. I could feel the arm of God across my back and His hand on my shoulder holding me. He said to my heart, “Be still and know that I am God.” I love the Psalms.
On Saturday morning I went in for my 24 hour shift. Blessed work! How many have had to go to work for peace and quiet? That is where I was able to sit and get started on glorifying the Lord for the life I live after the week my life has just had! for a room full of mom’s who have been there and know exactly what I’m talking about.
I found my pieces of paper with my Bible verses on them. (Read 1 Peter 3:15)
(Read Isaiah 49:16) To know that God holds me so tight that I am engraved, I leave marks in the palms of His hands from Him holding me. I often hear in my heart God telling me, “I got this…but you have to give it to me to hold. I got this, listen child, I got even this.”
Giving all the glory to God in saying this. When you look at me…you see the apple of His eye. When I look out at each and everyone of you I am looking at the apple of His eye. The Bible tells me so in Zechariah 2:8. With my back straight and my head held high I want to be God’s shiny apple. Not a mushy, rotten to the core apple.
1 John 4:19 is from the Bible study which I attend now with many women from many area churches studying Beth Moore’s Breaking Free study which she has revised recently. Beth is a wonderful, talented woman (and mother) whom God has been called to be a Bible teacher for women. A couple of weeks ago in her video lesson she talked about her busy week. After a few words from Beth God told her heart that when ever she wanted to say Dear God, I love You, she was to instead say, I love you, too. (Read 1 John 4:19)
I can only imagine how much my God loves me, how much God loves you, because I am a mother and care giver of children. We get a glimpse at the love our Heavenly Father has for each and every one of us through our mother. Lord knows how many times I have turned from my mom to “do it myself”. Every time I stumble, Mom steadys me and when I fall flat on my backside Mom picks me up, dusts me off and lets me know that I can lean on her. Just as my children lean on me. (hug my daughter) Be still and know that I am Mom.
She is clothed in strength and dignity.
For whoever touches you touches the apple of His eye.
Be still and know that He is God.
(Looking to the Heavens) I love You too!
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Sorry it’s such a long post but I love to hear God’s plans working through me. It helps me to trudge forward. Just wanted you to know how God is working through you. Praise God from whom all blessings flow!
Elizabeth I’m reading this several years later. Your post is the third time I’ve seen Isaiah 49:16 mentioned this morning. Somebody in my life needs a reminder that they are evgraved on the very hands of God. After reading your post, I texted that verse to many of my friends. I know God will use it.
There is a country song that says, “She’s got whatever ‘it’ is….” and as I was reading this I couldn’t help but sing, “He’s got whatever IT is…it blows me away!” I am so glad God has the IT factor and I don’t have to! Amen Amen and Amen!
Beth, that Ephesians 4:24/April 24 thing hit me like a brick, too. HE is soooo amazing…these are the wonderful subtleties we miss unless His Body communicates and fellowships! Thanks for sharing and increasing our faith in HIM WHO CHANGES NOT!!!
Oh my gosh,just read Beth’s post about the simulcast and how we can’t figure our how our speaking works but that it is all Him. I just got home from church a little bit ago after teaching a lesson about fighting the good fight of faith. I have felt really down since I got home and replayed how I didn’t like some of how it seemed to go. Your post just made me weep !! It is SO what I needed to hear and you won’t believe it, one of the verses I ended with in my lesson was Ephesians 4:24 !! So your post felt straight from Him to encourage me !! God is GOOD !!!
Beth, this post is needful for me on so many levels. I’m thankful the Lord used your jar of clay to deliver it to me. I will think on your words I’m sure for years to come. I’ve taught God’s Word for ten years or so. I’m so on fire for Him and getting His Word out these days I can’t stand it! (I realize I’m beginning each sentence with the word “I” and “I” hate that word when trying to get God’s truth across!) He is worthy, yes ma’am. He is the One doing it all. Thank you for confirming that to me. The things you said are things I’ve pondered over for years. He uses you mightily, sister. Praise Him!
still Word-relating and again thought of this post while reading John….John 4:42!!!!!this blog could be subtitled “the WomEn at the Well” (the siesta’s at the well) thanks for hanging out at the well and letting Jesus tell you all about yourself!”first we believed in Jseus because of your speech, now we believe because we heard him ourselves” john 4:42
Beth,
Thank you! It takes a teacher to know a teacher — to know how to encourage a teacher! Knowing enough to do one’s calling (as one who is called just must), yet not knowing so much more, yet trusting all the while…
My calling is to a middle school classroom — yet I hear your every word!
Thank you for sharing such recognition! I needed to hear these words today!
Melissa
I have been invited to speak at an event this Friday in my hometown of Albany, Oregon. I was honored and excited to be asked, but a bit daunted by such an ‘official’ invitation. The event I am sharing at is for an evangelistic festival the entire Christian community in my hometown is coordinating. The fact that I never really was a part of this community growing up adds to my feeling a bit daunted. I didn’t become a Christian until I was 19 and had left that town for college. I haven’t lived there since (17 years ago). I currently live in Arizona. The reason I have been asked to share is because 10 years ago, my husband and I invited my little brother to a similar event that Luis Palau had in Portland, OR. My little brother accepted Jesus at that event! I am still so blown away that I got to be there. The Luis Palau organization actually made an amazing video of my little brother’s testimony (I put the link to it in my ‘website’ box if you want to watch it. It’s about 8 minutes long). So I have been asked to share at this event to encourage people with the truth that God shows up in ways we don’t expect and in ways that assure us He is at work. I check your blog every so often and just happened to scan down through your entries to this one. It is just what my nervous heart needed. It was such a reminder that I just don’t know what God might be up to or how He will use us in ways we don’t expect. I have been encouraged by your words to prepare as best I can for Friday, but I will pray that my heart is firmly grounded in the truth that God is the one who works. I just testify and leave the rest to Him. It’s just SO obvious I’m not all that so I don’t need to try to convince anybody that I am! I’m Matt’s sister. I prayed, invited my little brother to an event… and God blew me away. What an awesome privilege.
Thank you so much, Beth. Your words are so poignant to one who is pondering a “call.” It really is all in His hands. Thanks for being a willing vessel.
You think YOU’re muddled?? I’ve had some of these very same issues rolling around in my head with a heap of that nasty “i” word all jumbled up with them.
I’m in the waiting room, and the seating in here is mighty uncomfortable. I’m terrified God will throw me up there, and I’m just as terrified that He won’t. I have an (I’ll just confess it) approval addiction and know full well that there’s a darn steep dropoff right around that bend. My Father is using this time of seeming quiet to make me take a good, hard look at some issues that wouldn’t have been dealt with otherwise, if plans were to unfold at my speed. So in that, I do see His Fatherhood.
Your words about doing what He HAS called me to do, in season and out, feeling like it or not, trusting Him regardless of my ever-changing feelings…that’s the admonition I needed to hear today.
So, leaning hard on His grace, I’ll just keep writing in my corner, feeding the lambs He’s brought to me for now, and I’ll keep trying to “flop forward” in this thing of trusting in God and waiting on Him, leaving self buried back there.
Gratefully…
This post was helpful to me. Thank you.
Thanks for sharing! I completely agree! Remembering it’s all about HIm can be difficult, but so freeing! Isn’t it amazing how much He loves us?
Much love!
I need to say that I commented on this post a day after it came out. I do not see my comments listed and I am mortified that I might have said something that offended anyone. Being misunderstood and not explaining things the real way I meant is my life story and as much as I have tried to forget about this, I have to say that I am so sorry if I said something offensive!! OMGoodness, I had no intention. Please forgive me.
Ok, so if that was not the case and its a computer problem well then I would rather know that too. Many blessings to you all.
Shelly, I’m sure it was just a glitch. I’m sorry about that!
Is it possible that Gods anointing is always going out when you speak if you truly have a humble heart and have done your part? I feel like Gods anointing is still operating in you but you may not be able to perceive it (hence why you feel like it is such a mystery with no rhyme or reason)? Unless of course you are not in God’s will, have unconfessed sin, did not do the part or work God instructed you to do, etc? I feel like you are right God is not a jack pot machine but he is always faithful to meet his servants right? Sorry I get nervous on these sorts of things.
Hey Siesta Mama Beth, I want to “share all good things with you” (Gal. 6:6) real quick. I was reading Tozer’s The Knowledge of the Holy tonight, and he has some really interesting ideas about God’s Sovereignty and faith and love in Chapter 2, God Incomprehensible. He quoted Molinos on pg. 10: “Let her suppose that all the whole world and the most refined conceptions of the wisest intellects can tell her nothing, and that the goodness and beauty of her Beloved infinitely surpass all their knowledge, being persuaded that all creatures are too rude to inform her and to conduct her to the true knowledge of God….She ought then to go forward with her love, leaving all her understanding behind. Let her love God as He is in Himself, and not as her imagination says He is, and pictures Him.” Since you mentioned during the simulcast that you were memorizing 1 Cor. 13, I thought that this chapter was really interesting when Tozer talks about faith and love.
Blessings to you Siesta Mama Beth:)
katiegfromtennessee
Wow! This is one of the best posts I have ever read!!! I know for me, some of my best teaching has been when I had to say to the Lord, “it has to be all You, because there is nothing here of me!” This post is worth coming back to, and I am sure you can use it in the future. Thank you for sharing yourself so freely! Blessings!!!
I can so relate to this post- not that I am a speaker or anything, but that I have something in the periphery that I feel compelled to share. What exactly, I don’t know. I have through the years thought that our church desperately needs a women’s ministry and have thought about trying to start one BUT…. I want to know if that is what God wants, and if that is what He wants me to do. Someone told me if it is from God, then it is like a burning passion that if you don’t act on it, then you just can’t be at peace. I don’t have that burning passion, but it’s there always in the back of my mind, and has been for a long while. I have prayed about it and am trying to not be in a hurry for an answer, but this post definitely resonated within me.
I just want to say thank you like a million times for putting yourself out there and publishing So Long Insecurity. Thank you for being willing and an open vessel to speak on this and write the book. I saw you in Woodstock,Ga. on Apr.24th and got the book for Mother’s day. I truly feel so changed and so free….and I just wanted to let you know what a blessing the book has been to me and I just can’t thank you enough. I thank God everyday for me being able to see you and read the book. My life has truly changed since this. I love you and look forward to hearing more of your studies and what God lays on your heart.
Love Always,
Charity Berk
Ha I did not catch that either, but oh my He is so Awesome!
Beth thank you for sharing that.
Oh, Beth. You will never know how i needed to read this today. I haven’t checked your blog in ages, just been too wrapped up in life. I have just started a monday night bible study with some friends. I don’t want to “lead” it, it makes my stomach sick just to think of “leading”. However, for some reason, I know that God is calling me to. I want to throw it off of on another lady in the group, badly. I’m not “capable” of this. Self-absorption and insecurity is at the root of this. But at the same time, I hear Him whispering…”You” are not leading, “I” am.”
Thank you for this post. Our third bible study is tonight, my stomach has settled, my anxiety calmed. He has not called me to lead, He has called me to follow….Him.
Love,
Jill
WOW! havent been on since right before 4/24.
thank you soooo much even now when you probably dont realize the SPIRIT is working! i needed this from HIM. so very much. “in season and out, whether i feel like it or not” what i keep hearing is keep on keeping on. when i cant feel or hear HIM- i must continue to do what HE has called me to do- keep on believing HIM not just believing in HIM- trust! HE is here and may my eyes be opened to the LIGHT of HIM in this darkness. Romans 13:12 live in the LIGHT! thank you for being you through HIM!!!!!
I was glancing over your blog and this post caught my eye. I needed to hear this today. In my prayer time this morning, God put me on hold like He did Paul. Reminding me that I need to take this time as a wife, mom and homemaker and find the joy in these moments first before any ministry.
Oh can I resonate with this post – both from the times God allows me to work with girls and women in various circumstances and also as I watch my husband labor for the gospel. My head is muddled from your post b/c we’ve wondered those same things time and again…and we’ve decided to ask God to help us just keep showing up, and pray that we will do our best for Him and He will carry His Word forth in spite of us. Nice to know someone else has the same questions! 🙂 This verse is rolling through my head as I’m typing, “Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication, with thanksgiving, let your requests be made known to God, and the peace of God, which surpasses all comprehension, shall guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.” Phil. 4:6-7
This posting is so timely it could only have been orchestrated by our God. Just this morning in my quiet time I pondered and prayed about my “calling” to “Get the Word out” thru my business and confessed how I’m clueless about where to go from here and feel like I’m maybe missing it. And then.. there it is: His glorious and timely reminder thru Beth (I’ve never been to this blog btw) to just “keep your heart it it and your big head out of it.” Thank you!! I’ve had a blast reading your blog and am now hooked. I teach Bible classes at my church partly because of Beth. As God provided the opportunity Beth provided inspiration when I saw her on TV and had the overwhelming desire to “do THAT!” It’s such a joy and how good to know that feeling completely inadequate is, in fact, the primary job requirement! Who knew? Bless you!!
I have been following your blog for a few years now but I have never commented until today. I have to say I love this post!
I was at the SLI simulcast. LOVED it. GOD was all over it. I just want you to know how much I appreciate your obedience. Seeing God work through your life is an inspiration for me to follow fast after Him.
Thank you.
Beth,
Thank you for this. I have read and re-read this several times over the last few days after coming upon it two days ago. It resonates deep within me. Thank you!!
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Greetings! I just wanted to quick say that God has led me back to this post some three times. I really feel a call (like there is nothing else I can do or I will explode) to teach and preach. There is a huge problem, as I am most definitely not a perfect churchy type girl. Some days I feel more ‘mess’ than saint. I am also super duper busy with my three little ones. Usually reading my bible entails me hiding or threatening until I get a little quiet time! I’ll be forever grateful to you and other female speakers (Lisa Bevere, Susie Larson) who are such amazing and beautiful women who are ‘real’ and vulnerable in a way that gives the rest of us hope that maybe we can do it too. Also, it isn’t about ‘us’. It is all about Him. Thank you!