The Baffling Calling to Communicate

I’ve been thinking about something since a week ago Saturday that I’m not sure I can articulate well. I’m going to give it a shot, though. Over the couple of years we’ve shared this community, I’ve seen enough of you refer to teaching Bible studies or speaking at retreats or to various groups that it may, should God care to use it, answer a few questions. Or, then again, it could more likely save you the energy of asking them. Some things are just a mystery.

Like callings.

And grace.

And how much of an accomplished work has anything to do with human vessels or are we of no consequence whatsoever. The question is not, could God use anybody? We know that’s a yes. It’s not even, does God prefer weakness so He can show Himself strong? That’s also a clear yes. What’s less clear is how much that “weak-anybody” has one iota’s bearing on what God does with him from then on. And, what are the differences between the times we are called upon by God to labor intensely toward a victory with every last ounce of energy we have (Colossians 1:29) and times when we just stand there and watch God do the thing like we weren’t even there. Or maybe we see nothing happen at all and go home in near despair, only for somebody to drop a note to us and say, “God spoke the word to me that day that I’ve waited all my life to hear.” Sometimes they quote what they heard and you know good and well it wasn’t you who said it. God talked around you instead of through you.

So, what part is God and what part is man? Twenty-five years in, I have no idea. And, I’m just weird enough to be strangely exhilarated by the fresh pulsation that I don’t. Yes, of course, we’re told to walk worthy of our callings (Ephesians 4:1) but could we walk worthy enough to enjoy a consistent, full-throttle Presence and anointing?

I doubt it.

If these are simple questions with simple answers, you may not have been around this bend often enough yet. Ask some folks who’ve spent decades at podiums like Kay Arthur, Anne Graham Lotz, Louie Giglio, James McDonald, and a host of others the devil hasn’t yet harassed into quitting and they might agree that some things get more mysterious with time. Not less.

There are too many things that don’t make sense. For communicators who give one whit about being honest-to-God (I mean that literally) Spirit-led, filled, and anointed servants, there’s no finding a formula. There’s no learning how to hit and not miss. There is no exact list and order of Spiritual disciplines to practice. Fasting every Monday, for instance, may seem to be the key attraction of God’s favor for a while but it soon wears off and you consider whether or not to add Tuesday. Nothing “works” every time. Don’t get me wrong. I believe in fasting. I’m just saying that, if you think you can use it to induce God’s unwavering favor, you’re probably going to get pretty hungry. There is no secret PIN number for His ATM. It’s God’s safeguard for keeping us from being more committed to our disciplines than to Him.

Here are a few other things I’ve learned about gifted speaking. There is no physical condition or best mood to be in. There is no amount of self-abhorrence, self-flagellation, competence or confidence to make you best suited for a mighty work of God. There is no perfect place, format, or group where “it” happens without fail. There is no type of message that never falls flat.  Or, there hasn’t been for me. There’s simply no outsmarting it. Absolutely no mastering it.

We’re splitting hairs here so stay with me until your mind gets good and muddled and only then will you get what I’m trying to say. To be sure, there are some basic ways we can cooperate with God for consistency and fruitfulness. Thank You, Lord. There are ways we can intentionally live our lives to His great glory and serve and love in His beautiful name. Bless You, Father. If not, in our earthbound wanderings, how ironically lost would we, the saved, be? But, as those who have the gall or call, responsibility or culpability to stand before a group of listeners, is there any way to insure that God will bless a message with a significant work of His Spirit?

I’m not talking here about manipulating God or trying to make Him behave. I’m not talking about trying to get Him to make you look good. I’m talking about the sheer attempt to prepare well enough, pray thoroughly enough, be humble enough (and not be proud of it) or do it all right enough in His eyes for Him to always perceptibly bless it. Honestly, there are just times when we disagree with God about what is best for Him.

What I’m talking about here is almost indefinable. I’d more easily be able to tell you how it feels than tell you what it is and yet sometimes it’s there and there’s no feeling it at all. Muddled yet? The closest I can come to naming it is God’s anointing and, if that’s the long and short of it, no wonder we can’t tame it or formulize it. The very nature of divine favor is that it is unmerited. And the very nature of God being God is that He is sovereign. As the Psalmist says, Our God is in the heavens and He does what He has pleased.

For the life of me I can’t figure out the common denominator tying together the times God really shows up. Two things are for certain. Sometimes He shows up without us even knowing it. Other times we’ll be positive He’s coming and later think He must have googled the wrong address.

This speaking thing is baffling. Beyond mastery.  It’s not for the fainthearted or the full-of-themselves. Unless a person is certifiably clueless or narcissistic beyond all hope of recovery, he or she will soon discover that what ego it builds, it also tears down. What wins out at the end of any given year is a total toss-up. In human reckoning, you could be brilliant one moment and a drooling fool the next. You can give the same message three times and the Holy Spirit hit like a lightning bolt, give it a fourth time with the same passion and authenticity and have it fall, to quote my grandmother, flatter than a flitter. I’ve never known what a flitter is but I am more than sure I’ve been flatter.

Think twice before you beg to be up front. This is the kind of thing you only want to do if you can’t keep from it. If God ever throws you up there, best to just keep your ego out of it. You can either be crucified to self or let God give you a good killing right in front of everybody. You better learn quickly and repeatedly that it’s not about you and that self-loathing is as self-absorbed as inordinate self-love. And, whatever you do, don’t get into the rut of letting your personal devotional time with God get supplanted by preparations to speak or teach. The enemy will put few subtler temptations in front of you. Every decent Bible student knows we reap what we sow but the tricky part is the sizable time gap that can occur between that sowing and reaping. When it stretches over a considerable amount of time, we think we’re getting away with it. Maybe God’s even blessing it. In His strange way, you may not see the fall-out of the loss of lively, daily relationship with Him for months but make no mistake. It’s coming. It’s a slow bleed and often you’re not aware that the lifeblood has left you until you are stone-cold dead. Thank goodness God has a penchant for resurrections. You better guard your intimacy with Him like your dying breath.

God’s love for us and our value before Him are insurmountable and unwavering. Our daughter-ship or son-ship is unconditional. His worthiness is unquestionable. Let me say that again. His worthiness is unquestionable. These are the things that must occupy us. These are the underpinnings of our security as His laborers in this harvest of souls. Things like our fitness or spiritual performance or numbers don’t just ebb and flow. They shake like a bottle of oil and vinegar duct taped to a jackhammer.

I’ve thought about this off and on for twenty years and two hundred reasons but I’ll tell you what brought it all up on this blog.

Remember last weekend’s simulcast? Those of you who participated may remember me saying that I’d had such big plans for it. As well as I know how to decipher it, not selfish or temporal plans. I honestly believed that so many women giving up their Saturdays were worthy of much deliberation, study, and preparation. And it goes without saying that God was worthy of those things and more. I felt like He must have been up to something strange and remarkably eternal to have put together numbers of women none of us could have anticipated. My plan was to give a profuse amount of time to preparation and illustration so that I could actually be familiar enough with my material not to do my usual thing. My normal approach is something like – let me think of a delicate word for it – regurgitation.  I seldom hit a platform unprepared but no one is going to accuse me of being impressively organized. For the most part, a thousand bites of information are swirling around like butterflies in my stomach and I just get up there and throw it all up.

The simulcast was to be the exception. I got home late the Saturday night before from a Living Proof Live in Florida and headed to church only to get a text from my firstborn, Amanda, telling me that her husband, Curtis, wasn’t feeling well and suspected something could really be wrong. In no time at all, he was in surgery with what his surgeon called an appendix that had gone off like a grenade. After sitting with Amanda at the hospital through the surgery, I moved into her house with my two beloved grandchildren and she moved into the hospital with her beloved man. That’s the way we spent the better part of four days.

Just like yours, our family comes first so I can honestly tell you that I had no second thoughts and, needless to say, not the least resentment. I wouldn’t have missed it for anything nor would I want to miss the next round. I have no intention of forfeiting my grandparent rights and responsibilities. I love Jackson and Annabeth like I love my own two daughters. Every minute I spent with them was my honor and joy and, yes, delightfully hard work. Every now and then I’d look up at the heavens and say something like, “Lord, I sure hope you’re preparing for Saturday while I’m keeping babies!”

And He was. He’s always faithful.

By late Wednesday night, Amanda took back the reins and her in-laws arrived first thing Thursday. At that point, my thoughts shifted totally to the simulcast. By Saturday morning, the Lord had graciously helped me prepare the two lessons. I was fine with them. Not fabulous with them but at peace. They were meaningful to me and appropriate for the occasion, I think, but, alas, not what I had planned. (Please don’t think I’m fishing for encouragement here. It would deflect severely from the point.)

This is where you come into the story. A few hours after the simulcast concluded Amanda called me and told me that comments were already coming in on the blog and that I ought to give them a glance. She thought I’d be blessed. I did and she was right, I was so thankful to God and was absolutely certain -100% – that anything of value was His doing. Then I came upon a comment I will never forget. It was posted at exactly 6:29. It said something like this: “I will always remember that we studied Ephesians 4:24 on 4/24.”  (April 24th) Somebody may as well have hit me in the head with a sledge hammer. I went completely slack-jawed and stared at those words over and over. It had never – not once – dawned on me that God had given me Ephesians 4:24 (which was our primary verse and the whole theme of the simulcast) for 4/24. He’d given that verse to me several months earlier to memorize then I began to feel that it was His leadership toward our gathering. Still, I’d never put the reference with the date. I wasn’t that clever but God surely was. Here’s the verse. See it from the point of view of the person who has decided to put her insecurity behind her:

“put on the new self, created to be like God in true righteousness and holiness.”

He’d had it all along. Planned it to a tee. Didn’t mean for it to be complicated.  Wasn’t interested in a flawless delivery.  Didn’t even need it to be great. Any jar of clay would do because anything happening on the visible platform was virtually incidental…as long as it didn’t quench the Spirit. All God had in mind to do was cut through the layers of technology until we could see straight into the beating heart of the Gospel: Jesus Christ can change your life.

That’s it. Plain and simple.

I love the mysterious side of God. I love that we can’t figure Him out. I love that He honors us by choosing us and humbles us by not even needing us. I love that He is wholly beyond formulas and manipulations, because goodness knows I’m not.

I love Him.

So, what do we do with all of this since we don’t know one iota more than we did? Just keep doing what we’re called to do. In season. Out of season. When we feel good. When we don’t. Believe Him to do something huge. Trust Him when you can’t even tell He did something small. Keep your heart in it and your big head out of it.

He’s the only one who can make it happen. As for us, we don’t even know what “it” is.

“The Lord our God has secrets known to no one. We are not accountable for them, but we and our children are accountable forever for all that he has revealed to us.” Deuteronomy 29:29 NLT


504 Responses to “The Baffling Calling to Communicate”

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  1. 101
    Susan Lisa says:

    And the amazing journey has been going on since 1998, starting with “Breaking Free”! Beth, your passion for Jesus fired me up to find my own “God-groove” and “voice”…the flame has ignited a blazing bonfire…there is no stopping it!

    During the April 24th simulcast, I had the privilege of bringing two friends (neither of whom ever heard you speak until then…unfathomable!) They (like me) greatly appreciated your urgent passion for the subject of “insecurity”. Along with the other 300,000 plus women, we were moved to joyous tears, blessed by the truth that we are women of dignity and noble character….and yes, we are Mighty Warriors!

    Thank you Beth for being a passionately willing vessel through whom God delivers such a timely message in our hearing.

    Choose this day…secure victory or insecure defeat….As for me…I choose Victory!

  2. 102
    Rebecca Lynn says:

    Dearest Beth,
    I literally just closed the cover of So Long, Insecurity. My heart is so full- what an awesome book. God has used you, your Bible Studies and your speaking in so many ways in my life over the past three years.

    About 10 years ago my mom came home from a Living Proof Live Conference in Charlotte and looked at me and said, “I can’t wait until you are old enough to attend one of these conferences with me.” Neither she nor I had any clue how much we would encounter in life or how much of an impact your studies and books would have on my life between the time she made that statement and the time we actually attended our first Living Proof Live conference together.

    The conference in Tampa last weekend was memorable to us both, not only because it was our long anticipated conference together, but also because we thought it was significant that the topic was on family for our special mother-daughter retreat.

    Thank you so much for sharing your heart with us- it has meant more than you could ever imagine. Your blog post is just another reminder to me of 2 Corinthians 12:9. 🙂

  3. 103
    DeniseK says:

    Wow, Where do I start? Well I will say God has an amazingly mysterious way of working through others to answer prayers! And of course, it is definitely through you, Beth! 🙂 All of these questions have been baffling my mind over the last several months. Do I have a calling?…How will I know?… How should I prepare?… Will I be good enough, or prepared enough?…Am I even worthy enough? These and many more questions have entered my mind in regards to this!

    It’s crazy how we allow our thoughts to wander, when not under complete self-control of the Spirit. (2 Corin 10:5 Make every thought obedient to Christ) We can wonder into so many unknown questions, that in the end, we always end up with, “I am not suppose to know the answer yet”. But, we still tend to question all the way into the far fetched future! Don’t get me wrong, I believe that preparation and praying about God’s will for is HUGE, but not trying to ‘over-plan’ God’s plans for us is a fine line to walk!

    Stop…trust..pray..obey!! It is that simple! Why do I make it so hard?! I realize trying to “Figure out” Callings can be very tricky to the mind. Atleast to this mind it can be! I guess my ‘secret’ to staying humble, and not shooting to far ahead of God’s plan for me, is to be as joyful and content when I am sharing God’s grace and daily miracles with my husband or friend, or if I am with a large group of ladies. (my size large…not Beth;s size large) It is not easy, because my flesh tends to want more than just one or two people to talk with . But I have to remind myself (constantly), that the Love, Grace, and Passion, God has blessed me with, is not about numbers…just about trust and a love for God! Its about my private time with God… nothing more, nothing less. Let me tell you, for a cheerleader of God like me, that is NOT easy!! But what you wrote here, is more precious to my soul, than I could desribe to you in words! My desire is to serve the Lord, and share His Word, but only if that is His desire and will for me!
    Beth, I actually printed out this one!! I need a little reminder every so often! Or should I say, ‘a huge reminder every so often.’ You are coming here to Grand Rapids on the 21 and 22, and I am so excited I can hardly stand it! I am prayin siesta! Thanks for writing this entry, it was music to my Spirit and Flesh!! 🙂

  4. 104
    Mary R Snyder says:

    I just LOVE how God works. I read this just a couple of hours after finding my ‘Heart Like His’ workbook — it was my first of your Bible studies (almost 10 years ago). On the back page is a prayer about being called to teach and speak — and how I did NOT want to do it…..and I’m still terrified when I stand before a group. I know that when I open my mouth, I want people to hear Him and not me.

    Thank you for these words —

  5. 105
    shaley cates says:

    That was the best thing Ive ever heard from you out of any book or conference or study…Ive never been able to put what you were describing into words but that is always how I feel. Ive been teaching or working with youth girls for the past five years and can never figure out what makes it work and not work. All the prep and passion is there and I think they are going to be really into it and they aren’t… or I feel the Lord leading me to teach on Moses and I think they’re gonna hate it and they Love it and actually post facebook messages to each other talking about how much they love studying Moses and cant wait to come back next week! It baffles me so I thank him for using me and try to figure out what I did wrong when it falls flat…It was just so encouraging to hear you Beth Moore describing those same feelings.. I was just talking to my friend who runs a food ministry about the same thing tonight…Im gonna print it off and let her read it! she only had dial up lol. and the thing you said about reaping what you sow in your daily relationship with the Lord…that its a slow bleed and you often dont realize till your cold and dead! wow thats exactly it! I love you and I love jesus!

  6. 106
    Miranda says:

    Wow. How awesome the Lord is!!!

    Mrs. Beth, just a year after I accepted Christ the Lord opened the door for me to share my testimony at a Women’s Event. My first year in the Lord was such a wild ride, and it continues every year. Now I’m almost 2 1/2 years in Christ, and He has kicked open more opportunities for me to share and speak, to bless and be blessed.

    I pray all the time that since he truly knows my heart, he would take the opportunities away from me should I be doing it for reasons other than bringing Him the glory. He’s so faithful. I’m not a shy person, but I have my insecurites…excuse me HAD my insecurities about public speaking. However, the Lord always shows up and I swear that the people hear a completley different message than what I deliver, because they will come up to me telling me what God did for them….stuff I would have never even guessed they would have gotten from the things that I said.

    IT IS SO COOL, TOO! After the very first time I spoke, I was so nervous that people would not receive anything spiritual. That I would not be good…but indeed, I was reassured that it was NOT me doing the talking, but instead the Holy Spirit…. and my mouth dropped when the Lord revealed to me verse 2:3-5 out of 1 Corinthians (The Message version is awesome!)Perfect:

    ” I was unsure of how to go about this, and felt totally inadequate—I was scared to death, if you want the truth of it—and so nothing I said could have impressed you or anyone else. But the Message came through anyway. God’s Spirit and God’s power did it, which made it clear that your life of faith is a response to God’s power, not to some fancy mental or emotional footwork by me or anyone else.”

    Another blessing? Today, I found out that I was chosen to be the Student Commencement Speaker at my college graduation this Saturday. I was nominated a few weeks ago, but was officially chosen to have the honor of being the speaker. Bless the Lord! I give Him praise, because I’m a first generation college student… getting to give the commencement speech for my graduating class at Augusta State.

    What a timely post. Bless You Lord. Bless You!
    I love You, Jesus! Thank You.

    • 106.1
      Yolanda says:

      Miranda, this scripture from the Message is amazing!! I also am pleased to read that you were accepted. Go forth and share Jesus!!!

      Love you,

    • 106.2
      Kathy B says:

      1 Corinthians 2:3-5 from the Message is absolutely phenomenal! Thanks for sharing it 🙂 Blessings

    • 106.3
      Warm in Alaska says:

      Have a blast talking at commencement!! I’m praying right now that God would give you the “right now” word for your classmates and everyone else listening. So proud of you! Keep loving Jesus…

      • Miranda says:

        Thank y’all so very much!!!! Yes!!! Don’t you just LOVE 1 Cor 2:3-5?! WOw….I spit when I read it after that first speaking engagement. God is so fun!

  7. 107
    Pam says:

    Through tears streaming down my face, I read your post and couldn’t love you more for expressing so eloquently what I have frequently felt and couldn’t find the words to say. Thank you, Precious Siesta Mama. He is faithful.

  8. 108
    Lisa says:

    Read the book, thought I had so much conquered. Went to the simucast, really thought I was in great shape. Sunday it hit. I was plain old slapped around all week with every insecurity I thought I had conquered and some new ones I didn’t know existed. It was war. By yesterday I was so exhausted I was holding on by a thread. Then in worship this morning and through working other services, He just loved on me. Battered as I felt, he picked me up, brushed me off and we are ready to go again. Closer than before. Grace.

  9. 109
    karen lipford says:

    wow. i burnt a pan of cookies because i couldn’t pull myself away and completely forgot i was actually baking cookies!

    you hit the hammer right on my head with guarding my intimacy with God.

    very deep post…i plan on re-reading it tomorrow to let it sink in even more.

  10. 110
    Nichole says:

    God You are amazing…thank You Jesus for leading this girlies heart here tonight to read this…for I sit at Your feet amazed…for You way is beyond what I will ever figure out…and I am okay with that…for I just want to be sitting at your feet amazed!

  11. 111
    pluschei says:

    Wow, Beth, reading this took me to the place where I can only operate out of trust, not manipulate or follow the recipe or figure “it” all out. The “it” you are talking about is the mystery of believing that God will do what only He can do in me, this earthen vessel. I’m starting to “get it” and can only stand in awe of when God chooses to do something in me and through me that I had very little to do with to begin with. Praise Him and bless His Name, for His grace in choosing this jar of clay. Thank you for communicating a difficult truth that reveals so much about this mystery in our relationship with our Abba. bless you…Pam in San Diego

  12. 112
    Patty M says:

    Thank you again, Beth for your transparency. My how the enemy loves the tool of distraction…The Lord has blessed me with the ability to touch women’s hearts with words. He puts a message in my heart and shows me the Word he would have me use to convey it. Definitely not me but him…Lately I have been so caught up in finding an audience and pleasing them that I have postponed my relationship with the one I desire to share about. It’s like I woke up and what started out as a blessing had become a burden and one I didn’t even recognize. As God would have it, every message I hear or read calls me back to relationship first. I have gotten rid of anything that would tell me what numbers I’m writing to and only write if God has remained my number one priority in both time and desire to please. I have been a pleaser since childhood so it is a daily dying to self…I know what day after day of squeezing out my time with God does to me and my calling. I so long to be a woman who’s love for God speaks through everything I do not just the words I write…I know that will only happen if it is His Spirit spilling out that illuminates me. Blessings to you.

  13. 113
    sarah says:

    AWESOME…couldn’t quite get sleepy tonight after getting my babies down for the night…checked the blog…SOOO glad I did. God is so good.

    Sarah, TN

  14. 114
    Erin says:

    From the New International Reader’s Version for school age children Psalm 78: 4b&6
    “We will tell them about what the Lord has done that is worthy of praise, We will talk about his power and the wonderful things he has done.. . Then those born later would know his laws. Even their children yet to come would know them. And they in turn would tell their children. THEN THEY WOULD PUT THEIR TRUST IN GOD”

    It is the desire of my heart that I communicate to my children and grandchildren through my words and actions in such a way that they put their trust in God.

    Can’t wait for the DVD to come out in that I couldn’t attend.. Blessings Erin

  15. 115
    Sherrie says:

    As I read in the book about Moses, not that I need to be reminded EVER about the two of us having the same horror of public speaking I was taken back in time where as an 18 year old there was NO doubt about God’s calling on my life. But, I’m not there…I call myself a has been. That would be a has been NAMB missionary. I couldn’t stomach (literally)the up front on the stage talking to people portion of the position. God’s word through you both written and spoken has brought me back to my knees. Suffice it to say that I love Jesus and I KNOW what HE wants for me is far greater than anything I can imagine for myself. But, I must trust Him! When you trust NO one, trusting God is not a very easy task! It is way past time. I am trusting Him and since I opened the book on 4/11/2010 I have claimed His power because “I am clothed with strength and dignity.” and God gave me security and I am fighting daily to take back more of it keep it as I get it! Must be honest here because God already knows I pray whatever is next does not have ANY public speaking as a part of it. Yet, I am letting Him be in charge of “putting on my new self…”. Goodness knows I failed miserably and would do so again. He has brought me to this place and will lead me through it. I can’t wait to see what is on the other side. Thanks for being a willing servant! This “has been” knows it is not easy!

  16. 116

    Elizabeth, I couldn’t love you any more than I do at this very moment. I am speechless, and in print, that is hard for me to be. Your fire and focus. Your drive to get it right. I am baffled and thrilled with what God has done with you.

    I didn’t have the opportunity to see the simulcast, but our ladies’ Bible study is working through your Revelation study right now. (We just finished the endearing Psalms of Ascent and your Esther study was not much before that.) I am captivated by the things you present. When you dig deeply into the Word and outline fascinating nuggets, I am enthralled to learn more. When you are on your knees imploring the audience to listen or praying to our precious Lord, my heart could practically burst with excitement.

    This post is so incredibly powerful. I’ll be revisiting it much. I had to stop to thank you. Baffling, indeed. Invigorating, certainly. Humbling, no doubt. Thank you. That’s all I can say. Thank you.

    May God bless you as he has blessed the work you do.

  17. 117
    Bev Brandon says:

    I’ve thought a whole lot about what really changes people. I think lots of women do not engage with what is going on way down deep inside of them beneath the behavior. God invades our motives and intentions. Just loved your post and it make me think of I Cor 2:2-4—not wise and persuasive words but a demonstration of the Spirit of God comes from you so that we may put our faith not in how wise you are but in how Strong and Powerful our God is on our behalf. No formula thing with you—it is the stirrings of the Spirit! People say they are touched, stirred, changed—-but TWT if they really are transformed. Titus 1:1—you’ll keep on doing it forever—a servant of the Word of God for the faith of His People and the Knowledge of the Truth that leads to godliness—changed lives! I’d choose you as a speaker because of this post. No formulas, no definitions, no steps to say this is “it.” It’s Words from a Strong, Mighty, Beautiful God you deliver.

  18. 118

    I was told a couple of years ago that I have the gift of speaking. I have not yet been asked to speak as a Christian. I was in lots of speaking engagements before I came to Christ, not that I wanted to (hmm, God’s preparation before I even knew Him? I like to think so. Surely that period of my life wasn’t a total waste!). The only thing I’ve been asked to do is give my testimony at Celebrate Recovery. It’s been over a year since our leader asked me to write it and I can’t tell you how many times I’ve started, deleted the whole thing and started over. For somebody who’s so gifted I’m sure having a hard time preparing to speak! Maybe it’s because it’s my story and it has to be 20 minutes so I have to give some details and I’m a little nervous about telling my not-so-very pretty story. Plus sometimes I wonder if I’m still so big a mess that I don’t really have a testimony yet. Of course everyone there says I’m totally different than when they first met me. (All of those people met me at different times of my recovery.) I don’t know. It’s probably a really confusing combination of everything. (And maybe I’m just not gifted at all.)

  19. 119
    Tessa says:

    I don’t leave responses on here, only once to say I was so grateful your health was restored and to send my love and thanks. I HAVE to say now though that you have NO idea what this post means to me right now! It addresses EVERY question I’ve been wondering about my own calling, soon to be revealed, so to speak. I have no one to ask these things, but the Lord has provided through my beloved teacher, Beth! The Holy Spirit is so awesome, the way He moves. What a sweet, sweet Father we have. Thank you for “going with His flow” today!
    And since I don’t usually participate, I must add this: You’re grandchilden are 2 of the most gorgeous children I’ve ever seen! I love to see all the pics. It brings me tremendous happiness to see you so full of joy. God bless

  20. 120
    jewelsbb says:

    have always tried to figure out where choice vs. GRACE vs. discipline vs.doing stuff for God vs. mystery intersect? Especially when the Lord says, “just be still and I’ll do what only I can do.” this is what I got: “it is the best nothing I’ve never not done.”

  21. 121
    Lauren W. says:

    “He’s the only one who can make it happen. As for us, we don’t even know what “it” is.”

    I don’t think I have heard truer words spoken as long as I have been a saved soul. Praise the Lord every single second for this fact! I think if I knew what “it” was half the time, I’d be running scared.

  22. 122
    April S. Port Orchard, WA says:

    Wow Beth!! I am so choked up! You answered so many of my questions without even knowing what they were?? That is so how God works in my life. I cant go into all the details without making this a book in itself. There were also many confirmations of things that I have felt and things that I felt might have been spirit lead and what you wrote was so perfect to confirm and answer some things on my heart. I am new in leadership in our Women’s Ministry at my church and let me tell you Like you so aptly put it on Simulcast Saturday God has taken me on One Wild Ride. Thanks for speaking your heart and loving us enough to tell us like it is. I so love you for that.

    Love you so much girlfriend and sister in Christ.
    April S.
    Harper Church, Port Orchard WA

  23. 123
    Ruthie says:

    Thank you. I wasn’t sure where it was all headed until you wrote “Jesus Christ can change your life” and then you had me. After an eventful couple of weeks, stepping out in faith…into unknown territory…those 6 words brought back peace to the path set before me. He chose me, I love Him and that’s all I need to know. Thank you dear one for reminding me of that.

  24. 124
    Ronda says:

    Beth, I’m sitting here with tears, SO thankful you shared this. I am speaking this week for a small group and then later this month at our state homeschool conference. Right now I feel overwhelmed, unworthy, wondering how in the world the Lord could possibly use me. Reading this post was like the Lord saying, “I know right where you are my child!” Thank you for being real about how you feel when preparing and letting the Lord use you, even in posting a blog post, to help point the only way to an inexperienced speaker like me! Please pray…all for His glory! ~Ronda

  25. 125
    Vicki says:

    Amen, Siesta!

    It really is an enigma how God uses feeble man to bring glory to Himself. I’m the pianist in our church. I got the job by default. . . I was second string and the main pianist left the church. I really didn’t want the job, I felt I didn’t have the time to really do it justice (working full time, house full of busy teenagers, etc.)but I have stood back and watched God use my completely feeble attempts to minister to others and bring glory to His holy name. I KNOW I didn’t have anything to do with it. For me, it’s been a journey of trust in the Holy Spirit to work through me in whatever way He deems best. What a wild ride!

  26. 126
    Kelly S. says:

    WOW, that was a beautiful post 🙂

    I can’t describe to you what a work God did in me surrounding this event, starting before I ever knew the date or subject. My church was signed up to do the simulcast in spring of ’09, and then through a crazy series of events decided not to. Honestly, it was a year long, off and on roller coaster that I had the pleasure of riding! The purpose was to stretch my prayer life. I was challenged like never before to pray for something I only read about on this blog. When I finally sat down in my seat at WFBC, and they announced it was the largest simulcast ever, I thought “well, no wonder”! Thank YOU LORD!!

  27. 127
    Cindy says:

    I am so in awe that God chose this time to have you write this blog. This past year God has been pruning things away from me and I have felt a gentle call to full-time or at least more-time ministry, but last week God spoke a little louder by pruning off my beloved job. One of my dear husband’s remarks (after the initial shock and emotions) was “maybe God wants you in full-time ministry”. I’ve wrestled with how’s and why’s and reasons surely God doesn’t mean me and still just feel like sitting down and crying. Then I check the blog and here is this post. Answering or at least addressing some of those fear and questions. Thank you, Beth for being a useable vessle.

  28. 128
    Cathy Davis says:

    4:24 on 4/24 – that hadn’t dawned on me either. I’m so glad He’s so much bigger than I can even imagine.

    This resonated with me:
    “So, what do we do with all of this since we don’t know one iota more than we did? Just keep doing what we’re called to do. In season. Out of season. When we feel good. When we don’t. Believe Him to do something huge. Trust Him when you can’t even tell He did something small. Keep your heart in it and your big head out of it.

    He’s the only one who can make it happen. As for us, we don’t even know what “it” is.”

    I’m believing God.

  29. 129
    Laurie says:


    This was beautiful. No one could have said it better. My favorite line was in your conclusion…keep your heart in it and your big head out of it. Age has given me a few of those instances where you travel through something foggy and he lets you turn around one day and see something clearly.

    Wanna be reminded of something cool? We are all going to have our 4/24 moment when we get to heaven. He’s gonna spin us around and show us what he did with our jars of clay…and we are going to go slack-jawed in amazement (to use your terms).

    Beth, I told my family about your week with Curtis and grandbabies and how you just keep going and trusting. I drove into the Woodstock church and stared at the cars and said to my daughters (their first Christian conference) “Girls, all this from one lady who decided to do what God told her. You never know.” The fact that you have real life and marriage like we do does nothing but inspire me to keep on keepin’ on. That…over and above the INCREDIBLE teaching.

    Thank you.

  30. 130
    Julia says:

    Thank you for the reminder that our Almighty is doing it all. My dad was just diagnosed with Acute Myeloid Leukemia. Because of his age he isn’t a candidate for chemotherapy, but will be able to be apart of a research study using experimental drugs at Stanford Medical Center.

    My dad is not saved and I have prayed for him since I became a Christian 16 years ago. I am going out on Wednesday to be with dad and help transport him from Santa Cruz to Palo Alto each day for treatments. There isn’t much time left according to his doctors.

    The way God has used Ephesians 4:24 on April 24th and your comments have encouraged me greatly. I’ve been so wrapped up in just the right thing to say to dad so he would get Jesus. I feel like God is saying “You can sit down, I’ve got this.”

    Thank you for being a mentor and teacher leading me faithfully to our Lord.


  31. 131

    “don’t get into the rut of letting your personal devotional time with God get supplanted by preparations to speak or teach…You better guard your intimacy with Him like your dying breath.”

    Thank you! For being challenging, for being really, for reminding me that it is ALWAYS Him!

  32. 132
    sisterlynn says:

    Dearest Beth,

    Thank you for this word of hope. I have recently been asked to teach our newest sisters in the convent. This post SO encouraged me… as another wise women told me

    God doesn’t call the qualified…. he qualifies the called.

    We just have to say yes. May God be praised!

    Love HIM so – and you, too!

    Sister Lynn

  33. 133
    Stacey says:

    Thank you. My life is in a time of change, and as I look around and felt I was losing my “calling” i have been reminded recently that my calling is to love and follow my God and love my neighbor. Your words were yet another reminder for while it seems the end of one thing, I know God is always at work. Thank you.

  34. 134
    Anne Onstead says:

    Wow -you have done it again. Put a number of my thoughts into written word. I am in the start of a speaking ministry and am amazed at how God works. This winter I spoke at a woman’s retreat for homeschool moms. Several days before the retreat I felt that God had placed on my heart the need to close each session with a group reading (each woman reading a verse) of Psalm 139. The problem was is really did not fit into “my plan”. I never considered not doing it but I did spend much time deliberating how to make it fit and flow. Finally on the way to the event I thought, “I will just do it.” So I closed that night with the Psalm 139 reading. Did the same the next morning. Prior to the next session I woman approached me with tears in her eyes and told me a detailed story in which she and her two daughters and a nephew almost drowned in the ocean. (wow that was a run on sentence). Anyway a portion of Psalm 139 came to her mind one time as her head went under the water. The words were, “in the depths, He is there.” As you would imagine this experience had almost haunted them for months but they clung to those words. They had been unable to locate the verse dispite a reading of Psalms. That first night, as we read the verses for closing that very verse was hers to read. The same thing happened that morning, even thought we had mixed up seats. God is awesome – I love Him and the way He works so much. It never ceases to amaze me. I learned to “just do it” even if it does not fit into my plan.

  35. 135
    Chesney says:

    I get it. And I needed that. I love when Jesus speaks clearly by repeating something to me over and over. He is faithful.


  36. 136
    Terry says:

    “Keep your heart in it and your big head out of it!” I LOVE THAT!!!

    Beth, you don’t know how timely this message is for me. I have been preparing — well, trying to prepare — a 5-minute message for our local National Day of Prayer event this coming Thursday. Usually, the Lord gives me an outline and I always have this strong sense of knowing it is from Him. But this time, nothing. Three days to go and as you implied, my head is swirling like a salad spinner, filled with bits of information like Bible passages and historical facts and current events, etc., and I’ve begged the Lord to sort through it all and TELL ME, PLEASE, WHAT YOU WANT ME TO SAY! I tried fasting one day, out of desperation, but all I got was a huge headache. I tried giving up chocolate, but failed miserably. Even before you wrote, I had realized I was trying to manipulate God, so I confessed my sin and even that didn’t move Him! 😉

    Hey! I even pulled out my Esther Bible study workbook, written by Beth Moore, and read her comments on “For Such a Time as This” — the theme of this year’s NDP.

    Now I have even more stuff swirling around in my salad spinner head.

    I thought that maybe I was making too much of this, taking it too seriously, and I just backed away to concentrate on other things. Because sometimes the Lord speaks when I’m not expecting Him to say anything. Didn’t work. 🙁

    So, as I wait, I will take comfort in the fact that even Beth Moore doesn’t have a formula, doesn’t know when or where or how God will show up, doesn’t really care as long as He does His thing when and where and how He pleases, and that ultimately He gets the glory!

  37. 137
    Patty Vandergrift says:

    Good Morning Mama Seista,
    Thank you for this post this morning. I just loved the conference and your presentation. There wasnt a minute that you spoke that we couldnt feel the Spirit within you. It was wonderful. I dont know that better preparation would have delivered a better message. God provided for you and He provided well. Us,little ole women so needed HIS message and we are so blessed for you to be our vessel to translate such important news! But you absolutely right that I will never forgot 4/24 and how smart is she that put 2 and 2 together. See, I am too simple folk. It totally flew over my head but now, as I flip my calendar to 4/24 every year I hope and I pray that I am reminded to put on my NEW self and leave it on. Thank you for all you do for our community. You are truly a blessing from above. All I can say is that when I grow up I want to be like you! 🙂

  38. 138
    Lois Siler says:

    Just reading the LPM BLOG, I felt as if I just was blessed to be at another Beth Moore Simulcast. So encouraging, and can’t wait to attend Beth Moore Live at Van Andel Arena in Grand Rapids later this month. God is up to something in these last days!

  39. 139
    Yolanda says:

    Keep your heart in it and your big head out of it.


    these are your exact penned words and they penetrated because I’ve been praying along those very lines. This coming weekend is our first ladies retreat of just the women in our church, a gathering of 10 ladies, and I’m one of the speakers. I’m scared spitless, SPITLESS….yet just yesterday God gave me peace. Lord, please cause my heart to stay in it and my big head to stay out of it, AMEN!


    • 139.1
      Kelly S. says:

      Yolanda, You’re precious…I’ll be praying for you all week, and weekend 🙂

      • Yolanda says:

        Kelly and any one else who reads this….I appreciate your prayers as I walk this out, because honestly….I SO KNOW WHAT I AM CAPABLE OF…and a big head is one of them. Lord, keep me humble and may I humble myself, as it isn’t fun being humbled. DO IT LORD!

  40. 140
    Dee Dee Wike says:

    Beth, thank you for sharing this. I needed to hear it today. I am still waiting on God to fully reveal His call to ministry, and thanking Him daily for using you to instill in me a passion for Him and His word.

    Ever praying for your ministry,
    Dee Dee

  41. 141
    Debbie in CA says:

    Thank you siesta mama, God is so very good.

  42. 142
    Sheri says:

    I love that you are so analytical…I am over analytical and it drives my husband NUTS. Good to know I am not the only one out there like me. Anyways, I am writing this reply before I’ve even finished your post, I could concentrate because I was so wanting to reply to the first few paragraphs. I think that the questions you are asking are not suppost to be figured out because then there would be no mystery. No, there are no formula or lists to follow simply because that would take the focus off the Lord and the glory would not be His own. There is not one speaker, writer, evangelist or leader in a church who feels they have done their best or are even worthy of the calling, but we do it because we can’t do otherwise. The call to ministry is so ingrained in my heart and soul, from a very early age, before I even realized it, that it is all I can do. We are never smart enough, humble enough or Anything enough, but GOD is, Praise the Lord. I am a scatterbrained airhead but when I am speaking to the lady at my church or singing for the Lord, HE is speaking through me in the most miraculous way. So for me, it is 100% God. He has given me all my abilities, and they aren’t even that good, but He uese them, He uses this cracked and crumbly vessel that is not good for anything else but to be used by an Awesome God who can take trash and make it into a treasure. I don’t know if this answered your question, or one of the many =)
    But these are my feelings on the ministry that the Lord has blessed me with!
    Thanks so much for all you do…I really do love ya’ even though I don’t even know ya’!
    KC MO

  43. 143
    Kathy says:

    “In season, out of season”…….the exact words our pastor used on Sunday challenging us to be “ready” for whatever God wants our next steps to be. I have struggled with what my purpose is on this earth. Thank you for putting into words just what I needed to hear. Today you were the vessel God used to let me know that my purpose is to glorify Him in all I do, and He will take care of the rest.

  44. 144
    Laurie says:

    I loved your blog. I feel led to give my testimony to some young people at church whenever the right time comes and have been hounded by some fear and wondering what people will think of me. I gathered a lot of “tips” from what you just wrote that will help me. I just need to say what He wanted me to say and pray that His words come out of my mouth. I’m glad there’s no formula so I won’t have to wonder if I’m missing out on it! 🙂
    The things you said Saturday at the simulcast were so good and relevant to me. I am glad I took good notes because I’ll be pulling those out when I most need them. I love how calm you were when taking care of those Grandbabies and knowing that God was preparing for Saturday even though you couldn’t. That should take away any stress I have if I can remember that prayer. And He didn’t let you down! What a testimony to His power and plan! Praise You, Lord!

  45. 145
    Anonymous says:

    Charles Stanley did a lesson recently on the “unreasonable will of God”….reading your post reminded me of his lesson. We do reap what we sow….we reap it later….we reap it more…and we reap it when we least expect it. I have heard David Jeremiah teach on the laws of the harvest…which this post also reminded me of.

    All God ever wanted any of us to do in life was accept Him and His gift that is provided in the gospel. BUT I think phase II is “believing God” (as I have heard Beth teach) not just believing in God…but believing God. His Will may seem unreasonable to us, but He loves us and is determined to protect us (in spite of us). What better life to have than to believe God even when He seems so unreasonable!!

  46. 146
    Missy S says:

    Thank you so much for sharing this, Beth! Your words truly spoke to my heart. I am going to print it out, so that I can read it when I need to remember that the battle is the Lord’s, not mine! 🙂 Love you!

  47. 147
    Kris says:

    Wow!!! Ephesians 4:24 on 4/24 – was God working or was God working??
    I just have to share that while I have read Psalm 27 many times I am certain, it has never spoken to me like it did after the simulcast. I just happened upon it a few mornings ago and read it with a new clarity and purpose. I am now claiming this psalm, memorizing it and planting it deep in my heart.
    Thank you Beth for such a wonderful message in Woodstock!

  48. 148
    Amy Brady says:

    As I sit here with tears streaming down my face, I realize that my sweet mentor has been right all along. She says “Sometimes you don’t know what you need, until the Lord blesses you with it.” I needed this blog today. Just last night I signed up for the blog to come into my emails. Had I not, I wouldn’t have caught this entry for several days, maybe a week. I’m preparing to speak at an event this Saturday. I don’t have the amount of time to speak that I’m accustom to having. How do I take this message and whittle it down even more? I’ve been waiting on God to do something about it. 😉

    Will you ever really know how much these words have meant to me today? I’ve been speaking for almost 6 years now. Did I ever aspire to it? Are you kidding? Heck no. I grew up in ministry, wanted nothing to do with the tragedies/hurts of it and where do I find myself?? In it.


    But I am compelled. I’ve tried more times than Moses and Jonah to give up this calling. The mantle is often too heavy and I don’t want to diminish my influence on my family by being swept away by the demands of ministry. I’ve even asked to be let go, and yet I would get an onslaught of requests to speak during the very same week. The same week, that with tears, I was asking to be released.

    So finally,once and for all, I decided this is it. For whatever reason, His scandalous grace (as you say,)and I do mean scandalous, asked ME to serve Him in this way. And I must. I find that I even think in messages…you know, everything He teaches me, I can’t wait to share, rather I must share. I’ve had those moments when I know that God taught a conference or a retreat, because I can’t remember a word I said. Or someone will say, “When you said….” and I think, “I said that? Hmmmm…I don’t remember that.” I’m sure that what comes out of my mouth morphs into something different before it hits the hearer’s ears. Thank the Lord. His precious ones deserve nothing less.

    I needed your transparency this morning. “Speaker world” as I call it, is a weird place to do life. The self promotion that is often a part of it honestly makes my skin crawl and my stomach lurch at the same time. I am often, and I mean often, scolded by well meaning people for not “putting myself out there more”. I could be doing so much more right now they say, if I just did this…or that.But I just can’t do it unless Father tells me to. I’m to be about HIS work, not my own. I’ve written several Bible studies and devotionals, with DVD, I have two blogs, a website, a twitter, a facebook and a speaking schedule. But to most….it’s still not enough. Yesterday, God was speaking to my heart a scripture I read that morning in Proverbs, “The favor of man is a snare…” A snare indeed. Today I read a verse that said, “You cannot serve two masters…” These verses are coming as I’m praying daily, “Father,I know what You’ve called me to do. Show me what to do first, what to focus on.” I fear I’m rambling here and I don’t want to take up much more time.

    I was at the simulcast (in FL). When you first took the stage and talked about how preparations didn’t go as you planned. I began to cry. Ever since I began to teach, even long before I began to speak, I have regularly & willingly allowed Satan to beat me down before every time I spoke, because I feared, and I mean feared, I had not prepared enough. When you shared, I was literally set free for the first time since I began to teach and speak. I was bawling and we hadn’t even begun!! I was already overwhelmed with coming off a speaking event in Alaska, coming home to get my home ready for an appraisal, several projects for my son’s school, homeschooling, a grueling jet lag, etc., with another event on the horizon in 2 weeks. That old familiar fear was beginning to set in. And then you spoke or rather, He spoke.

    I believe it is transparency and grace that the world and the Body of Christ are hungry for. Truth is, He IS looking for poster children. His children willing to be used in any way to bring His beloved back to Him. To bear our nakedness without shame once again. Because we are covered by Him and we need no other covering. Ours always falls desperately and embarrassingly short.

    (Long winded, sorry.) This blog post is something I’ve needed to hear for a long, long time. There’s not really a place for ministers to go and hear someone who understands. But there are even fewer places for women and men called to this obscure and odd calling of speaking gifts to be encouraged and exhorted. Today I found that place.

    “Your love has given me great joy and encouragement, because you, brother, have refreshed the hearts of the saints.”-Philemon 7

    • 148.1
      Shannon says:

      Thanks for sharing Amy. I’m right there with you. My schedule isn’t like yours, but when those speaking times come around I walk in the same shoes as you. We will succeed…through the Power of the Cross…and a little caffine! 🙂

  49. 149
    April says:

    So needed that!!!

    Do you have me wire-tapped?


  50. 150
    Twila Baker says:

    I am so glad God uses you in the way that he does. We are all blessed because of your willingness to teach us his word in a way that no one else does.
    I no longer feel inadequate when I gather our ladies at church for bible study. I always tell them that I’m not the leader, I just put the DVD in and press play! I have often worried about not having enough time to be better prepared for the class since I work full time and still have a teenager at home, but your comments have helped me to realize I just need to let God do what he does best. Thank you for pouring yourself out for us.

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