Unwanted.
That was the word that ran through my mind last week.
Now, before I keep writing I want you to hear that I am okay. I do not despise being single. I’m not pinning wedding ideas, dresses and rings on a secret Pinterest board. (But no judgment to those of you that do have a secret wedding board. Grin.) I don’t believe I’m one that has put off living my life until marriage. I don’t do single life perfectly, but I do try to spend an appropriate amount of my time serving and doing exciting things. (If I cease to live my life while waiting for marriage, someone please smack me upside the head to snap out of it.) But while being single has its perks, it also has its setbacks. Lonely days come. (And for those of you married and lonely, know that my heart hurts for you. I’m praying and believing that God would do a restoration and redemption that only He can.) Just like we all have good and bad weeks as parents, or friends, singles also have good and bad weeks. Good and bad days.
Typically when I have a week like that, I hate to burden anyone around me so I keep it to myself. Part of how I walk in pride is that I compare my situation to others around me, and to the onlooker if my trials are seemingly small and trivial, I tend to play down my emotions and feelings. So yes, the truth is, I am very blessed, loved and wanted, however, on the flip side, what matters to me, matters to God. Even the seemingly trivial that may seem ridiculous to someone else. But for me to act like I’m okay all the time doesn’t do me or anyone else any good. Because for me to compare my situations to those around me and not deal with what’s going on inside of me? Well, that’s just seems ridiculous and unwise. How can I minister to others when I fail to minister to my own heart?
Last week was just one of those weeks. I could not get past that daunting word. Unwanted. It just felt like blow after blow. I couldn’t ever come up from the undertow. I’d fall, get up again, only to fall right back down. And everything, and I mean everything, reminded me of my singleness. And what sometimes feels like chronic singleness.
A text message from a friend.
Some sad news about a friend.
Some exciting news about a friend.
The need to get an oil change. (These are the things I need a husband for. Of course, I hope you can hear me laughing.)
Celebrations.
Ministry.
Just to name a few.
I mean let’s be honest, sometimes a girl just needs (and wants) a male perspective to talk everything out with. Not to be needy. Not to be clingy. And certainly not for everything to be fixed and happy, but I think it’s healthy to long for a mate to do life with. The Lord created us male and female so that we would compliment each other. Be a helpmate to each other. (Granted, I know most males aren’t the chatty type, and I don’t imagine my future husband and I chatting for three hours at the end of every day, but on occasion? Well, sure. A girl can dream.)
I know this post sounds so depressing, but it is just true. Sometimes I don’t want to sugarcoat singleness. Because sometimes it’s just hard. And no fun.
I’m trying to become a more honest version of myself (something we talk about a lot around here) and one thing I have been confessing to the Lord lately was that although I know He’s chosen to protect me for 28 years from all the hurt and pain that relationships can bring, to a girl who desires to be a wife and mother one day, it feels a lot like rejection.
Yes, the Lord’s protection feels a lot like rejection to me. A different form of rejection, sure, but rejection nonetheless.
And let me tell you one thing, rejection isn’t pretty or easy.
This I know, no relationship can shrink that deep longing inside each of us to know and be known. In fact, I think the deeper our relationships grow and the longer we have them, the more we realize how crafty God was in leaving that hole that only he can fill. Our longing has been, and always will be, Him.
But it’s when I start to spiral into a thought process of pity and lies that I’m so gently reminded of the Lord’s promises.
The scary thing about being human flesh and blood is that I can be so stubborn. Even when He gently wants to woo me back to Him, sometimes I want to sit in my self-pity. Gross. So, I can choose to be stubborn, or I can let God deal with me. The choice really is my own.
Can I tell you one thing I know to be true? One thing that I’ve been working out with the Lord? If I can’t believe what the Internet says, and if I can’t believe what I’m thinking half of the time, then the only and one sure thing I can believe is what God’s word says about Him, about me, and about His promises.
God’s promises to me and to you reveal more about Him to us than us to Him. Does that make sense? He knows us inside and out, but He’s given us His promises so that we can know and trust Him. They reveal His glory. His character. His trustworthiness.
I can trust His word by faith because in 2 Timothy 3:16 He’s told us that “all scripture is God breathed…”, so when I need to correct my thinking, I can rest on the promises in His word. The Word He has spoken.
“So that the man of God may be complete and proficient, well fitted and thoroughly equipped for every good work.” 2 Timothy 3:17
He doesn’t speak truth to my heart just to hear His own voice, He speaks truth so that I’m complete and equipped for every good work. There is purpose in His Word. There is purpose in His promises. There is purpose in His goodness.
How do I know He’s good?
Because I know the character of God. Listen, I know those of us who have heard these characteristics and promises time and time again tend to skip over them, but hear them today. Bring each of your circumstances and situations to these scriptures today and let them mold your thinking. No, the Word may not bring immediate clarity or all the answers to your situation, but the Word of God can bring peace and clarity to your heart and mind in the midst of restlessness.
He’s not out to harm me, or spite me. Jeremiah 29:10 – 14
Discipline me? Yes, He tells us he disciplines His children, and although it’s not fun at the time, it makes me more like Him. Hebrews 12:1-13
He’s kind. His heart is warm towards us. Sympathetic towards us. It’s His kindness that leads us to repentance. Not his harshness. Ephesians 2:7. Isaiah 63:7.
He’s gracious. He’s generous to our poor and needy selves. He doesn’t look down upon those who are of “lower social status” than Him. Isaiah 30:18
He’s loving. I don’t have to beg for His love. He gives it freely. His actions speak far louder than His words. He took His love to the cross for us. Psalm 62:11-12. Psalm 145:17
He’s faithful. His affections toward us never run out. He’s faithful forever. Psalm 33:4. Psalm 145:13. Psalm 146:6.
Nothing can separate me from His love. Nothing. Romans 8:37-39
He’s always with me. Deuteronomy 31:8
He meets all of my needs. Not my wants, my needs. Philippians 4:19
I’m never more thankful for Jesus than when He stoops down to meet me in my place of poverty. My place of unbelief. That place where I’ll undoubtedly return to at some point in my moments of weakness. I recently read a quote by a preacher that has not left me the past month or so, it said, “God invites us to come as we are, not stay as we are.” So that lie I kept repeating to myself last week? That ugly word, unwanted? I bring it to the Lord, I bring Him my honest self and over time, it’s exchanged for the truth of being wanted, pursued and delighted in by a very good God.
Lindsee,
Thanks for being authentic, even when it feels vulnerable and a little scary. So relate to many of the things you shared & so grateful for the God we serve…His grace is always big enough to meet our needs.
-Maurie
Appreciated your post. I’m 45 and single, and at times feel just as you have described, but as I get older I’ve come to treasure the time I have to spend with God. Time that those who are not single have a harder time finding. Enjoy each moment content in the promise that God has the best annex for you!
Thank you, Lindsee. I’m turning 32 in two weeks, single as a slice of cheese, and in the middle of buying my first home. This just wasn’t the life I’d imagined for myself, and while I LOVE being single most of the time (sometimes I think I like it too much…), the ache can sure surprise me some days. Your honesty is refreshing, and the promises from scripture are timely.
Bethany took the words right out of my mouth! I’m a 31 single & have stood firm in believing that God would not have place such a strong desire in my heart to be a wife & mother if He is not planning on fulfilling it! Thank you so much for that raw emotion & truth that needs to be repeated daily when faced with the lies of satan that we are “unwanted”.
Just today my husband and I were remarking how we’d wished we’d known that God had us planned for one another. Oh, the heartbreaks and feelings of loneliness that could’ve been avoided if we’d only known–truly known–what good He had in store. We talked about how we might share that truth with our 3 kids so that they might avoid heartbreak. That may not be entirely possible but we will surely try! That truth applies to you too as a child of God. I don’t know you personally, but I do see a lot of your heart on this blog. I know for certain God has unimaginable GOOD planned for you. He gave you the desires of your heart and He will fulfill them one way or another in His perfect timing. I’m sure you know all this, but let me just encourage you to stay the course of faith and trust. He never fails us.
I hope I get to know about His goodness fulfilled in your life down the road. It’ll be beautiful!
Lindsee-
Thank you for opening your heart and being vulnerable with us. As one who can see 50 coming down the road faster than I like and am still single, I understand where you’re at. I know Gods holding all of us who are fighting the heartache of feeling unwanted and alone. Sometimes that truth has a tough time getting past my head on its way to live in my heart, but I know that my Abba God is still with me. Blessings on you!
My friend married a woman 55 who had not been married. He had been and the engagement was hard and people viewed her poorly for it but it was God’s good for both. They work well. She waited. God’s best didn’t look like she might have thought I don’t think but I hope this encourages you.
I loved reading this tonight. I know what unwanted feels like. I was married for 33 years. My husband met someone else, asked for a divorce, and remarried within one month. We met in church, married in church, and attended church regularly. That root of rejection is one that can burrow down deep–and, yes, the word is unwanted. But, Lindsee, I got “plugged into” Beth Moore Bible Studies, Divorce Care, a new church, and my own volunteer effort. And, because of His love for me, I can see, He wants me. He has a plan for me. I am not a broken, unserviceable item. He has my name engraved on the palms of His hands. Your name is too =) Thank you for being so open and honest about your feelings. You are many; we just have different faces and situations. Blessings on your ministry.
Lahoma, your story could be mine – it is agonizing to be single again after 33 years of being married. So much of this sweet blog can apply to those of us in that situation, as well as those singles who have never been married. “Unwanted” “rejected” – I’ve worn both those titles in my head.
Lindsee,
Oh, I can definitely relate to this! It’s crazy how the free time I have as a single woman can often make me feel unwanted. But I’m learning that God sometimes has to let me feel empty and have a pity party before I realize just how much I have and how good He is to me. I’ve learned to meet Him in the quiet of singleness, but it’s certainly no less a challenge.
Thanks for sharing your insight. God bless.
Thanks for this! It’s always comforting to know we are not alone in our struggles and that they all matter to God. He promises to perfect those that concern us and sometimes I have to remind myself that’s it okay to share my concerns with Him and with the people He has in my life.
Thanks again Lindsee!
Thanks so much for this post Lindsee. Even just reading the title I hoped the post would hit what I’ve been dealing with, and it so did! I know exactly what you mean and really needed the encouragement and reminders. God provided these through your post and our siestas’ comments–The encouragement that I’m not the only one who feels this way at times, and the reminder that the feeling is not based on God’s truth. I can bring my hurts and longings openly to God and He will not reject me. Not only did He choose us the day of the cross, but he chooses us repeatedly, every.single.day. Thank you all for sharing <3
Yup, it is so hard! And let’s not even go into the issues of people saying that I am too picky…
Because that is really not the issue. For some reason God has kept me single – All through my Christian University days and even later when I rebelled and tried to do it the worlds way because I figured he had forgotten me. God has kept me single, blessed me with a beautiful child but has kept me single – no matter how I’ve cried out or waited patiently.
Last year as I was trying to move on with life raising my son totally 100% on my own, I started thinking (this applies to me and my life and what I’ve gone through – not preaching here) I started thinking that “God does not give us more than we can handle…and obviously God knows me far better than I know myself – he must know at this point bringing someone into my life would actually be more than I can handle.” I had/have to trust that he knows me and knows my being single is best at the present time, otherwise he would bring that someone – yes it still hurts, but I’ve done it my way and that hurts way more.
Being single I’ve been excluded from so much socially – and because I am a single mom – I get left out of some mom functions because I can’t get a babysitter or I can’t talk “husband” talk with the other moms… It’s a tricky place and I know God feels my pain in it – and I try to keep my chin up most times – but that unwanted issue of being single bleeds into all aspects of one life and it can just be overwhelming at times.
Praying for you today, Rachel, and your circumstances.
Because of my own experience, I think of and pray for those who have had miscarriages or suffer infertility, which can make holidays and events difficult and lonely (I now have a child, and had many years of infertility followed by miscarriages). Now my heart is touched by the need to pray for those who are single, too.
Lindsee, You are the sweetest sounding young lady. I’m wondering what is wrong with the men in Texas….honey, you are doll!! It will be exciting to see who God has planned for you…I’ll dance at your wedding, even if it’s in my living room…hugs around your neck..sondra
You know what kills me, Lindsee, is that I have this gorgeous, (single),son, who has these very same feelings and moments that you do. He is sooo hungry for a sweet, genteel, loving,Christian young lady who loves the Lord with everything she’s got within her, and who would also literally love his (my son’s) socks off! This type is sooo hard to find. Wish I could pray ya’ll together. 🙂 🙂
God knows what He’s doing, for both of you all, and when the time is right, the Lord will come through, and believe me, it WILL be worth the wait.
Blessings, xoxox
Thanks. Guess that would be enough.
Dating is hard. Not dating is hard. People have opinions and I have a hard time expressing solid ones of my own so its easy to be talked into things I don’t want and out of things I might want. And then life gives you a solid reason to have the doubts that others have expressed.
Life is hard. Desperately lonely and hard.
Just a peep in to the weirdness of my life: and if you want to say a prayer you can! My daughters dad will not marry me. Maybe it’s him that need the prayer. Really he can not. (not to worry…he is not married and it’s not an affair there are other reasons though) and he know’s I want a partner to do life with…so he set me up on a date. I haven’t talked to the guy yet. But the sheer weirdness of it…
Hope lives on. Get up. again. Trust God. Serve God. WORD.
Thanks Lindsee
Lindsee Thank you so much for this post. I know it will reach many single woman out there feeling Lonely & unwanted just as I do at times. We were designed to be in relationship. Thank you for pouring out your heart & being so honest & vulnerable. Everything you wrote hits home with me. God ‘s promises are the one thing we can absolutely count on. Thanks for sharing your heart! God bless you & your ministry.
Amen, Sister. You keep at it.
Thanks, Lindsee. I am 40 and single, never married, even though I was engaged once. I appreciate your thoughts and the verses. I have been working through trusting The Lord with his plans for my life, especially since I just turned 40. In my plans for me, I had foolishly thought if I wasn’t married and had children by now, it would be too late. Far be it from me to put a timeline on our omnipotent and sovereign God. He is faithful and has blessed me with a good life, even though it is a far cry from the life I imagined for myself. You did what I try to remember to do, which is focus on all my many blessings. God has a plan for each one of us. And as a dear friend of mine can attest to, it is far better not to be married than to be trapped in a bad marriage. God knows what He is doing, and I’m convinced his best for us is always better than what we could imagine for ourselves. Thanks for your service and sharing your heart. 🙂
Sarah,
Try to read my post if you can find it. I met my husband at 40, while on a date with Jesus at a steakhouse. Seriously! There is no way I would have been open to him or he ready for me if we had met any earlier.
Years ago, a recently married girlfriend said she missed how much Jesus was her bridegroom while she was single. Now I’ve been married over 3 years, I realize that as much as I’m crazy about my husband, Jesus is STILL my bridegroom. Does that make me a bigamist? 😉
I pray the Lord will let you be a holy bigamist, too, with the right man of God very soon!
Lindsee, I cannot adequately tell you how deeply you have ministered to my heart this morning with this blog. God is so gracious in His provisions for me. It was if He gave you the words He knew would heal a recent hurt in my heart. If I wasn’t at work and my desk didn’t face the hallway I would be in tears right now, tears of gratitude for His unfailing timing and ministry to this single woman. May this blessing be returned to you tenfold. Thank you! Lynne
Bless you, Lynne. I’m honored and humbled it ministered to you this morning. May God be so actively present in your life today!
Wow, This really was a blessing to read this. I have struggled with this for a really long time, and I have tried so long to be okay with waiting for the lord to find me someone. I am still pretty young, I am only 17, but I’ve never had a real relationship with someone, and the pressures of the people around me (all the girls with their boyfriends) weigh on me big time some days. It seems sometimes that God has forgotten my pleas for a perfect companion and I still am hoping that He will let me stumble upon the man He has for me, but then in the back of my mind, I keep asking myself, “what if God never gives me a husband? Will I be okay with that?” That is just a hard question to digest. But you’re blog really encouraged me to keep my head up and to dig deeper into the word. To really let Christ woo me, and to lean on Him, even through the lonely days. Thanks so much!
Oh Kayleigh, dear Sister. You are a jewel! I’m praying right now that at the perfect time (You are still so young, but I remember thinking that at 17) the Lord would bring you the desires of your heart. Keep seeking after Jesus.
Lindsee, God is performing a ‘perfect’ work in your life. And perhaps, right now, He is ‘perfecting’ the special man to love you, respect you, compliment you, work alongside you. (Oh…and change the oil :). I’ll be praying that God will bring this ‘perfect work’ soon to bless you and bless others. Your testimony and journey in ‘singlenss’ reaches the hearts & touches the souls of thousands and thousands of others who are on this journey with you and I don’t believe this ‘path’ you’re traveling now is an accident. It is part of God’s plan for your life ‘for such a time as this’. But know this…I’ll be rejoicing (& probably crying happy tears) with you when the wedding plans come to pass. God bless you, Lindsee.
This word is very relevant in my life right now. Thank you for sharing your honest self with those of us who also compare the trivial loneliness of the single life to others’ issues and display our own pain.
Downplay*
I know how you feel Lindsee. I just turned 46 and have never been married and have often wondered if I am unwanted as well. I try to remember that God has the perfect man/husband for me and that I need to be patient. We will meet in HIS perfect timing….
I loved this post Lindsee! I can relate to this on so many levels, esp. the changing oil part. haha, I had to laugh about that because I hate going to automotive places, not only do I not really know what I’m talking about but they also seem to take advantage of me since I am female. Thankfully I have some mechanic co-workers and a dad that watched out for me and I have learned to call them before I tell the mechanics what needs to be done. On a more serious note, the days can get lonely and I know we all long for a soul mate to share our lives with, some days I cry for what I don’t have and other days I’m thankful for what all God has taught me during this season of my life. Hang in there, I think you are doing some amazing work, (from what I can tell from this computer screen, *smile*) and I know that God has you right where He wants you for now. You’ve blessed me more than once with your posts. Thank you for sharing.
Lindsee,
I wish you were in Colorado. My son (who”ll be 28 in December!) is feeling the same as you. He’s not from Colorado originally – went to University there and has now begun his career there – but can’t seem to meet anyone (Christian ladies, anyway) and feels lonely sometimes – maybe even the word you’ve used today – unwanted). I keep telling him God has a plan for him and if it’s meant to be, God will place the person in his life that he is supposed to make his life companion. You two would be a perfect pair! Both Christ followers,delightfully funny, and both gorgeous! I will keep praying for you both…
NEVER did I think when I got married 33 years ago that I would spend most of my adult married life lonely. All the things you hope to be able to do with a spouse I have hoped and ached to do with mine. He is a good man in many ways. But relationship and communication are not on the list. I have left him many times in my mind, but I’m already lonely just provided for so I have stayed. That and I have raised four amazing kids now adults and have one grandson. Maybe I am living a lie, but I will not divorce my husband like my mom and my brother, and one of my brothers in law has three times. It will not be a decision I make in this lifetime to hand down spiritually to my kids and grandkids. So I look to Jesus for daily grace. Marriage is wonderful when I works as God intended but is a more lonely place than singleness when it isn’t or doesn’t work by His plan.
Being single is difficult at times. There are definitely the days when everyone you know seems to be married with children and you feel forgotten and unwanted. I got married just a couple of years ago at the age of 30, which to most people was way into Old Maid status. But I tell you it is not! I had decided I would not settle for less than God’s best which made me appear to be picky and TOO independent and the comments of never getting married to be used about me a lot. But only He knows the plans he has in store and He can use single people for His glory in ways that married people can’t be. By the time I was married, people my age had already been married and most had at least one child, but God had allowed me to serve in youth ministry at my local church and to go on several missions trips and chaperone many events while serving in my church.
Throughout my 20s there were many lonely days, but there were also very big periods of contentedness recognizing just how loved I was by God.
I hope this is encouraging. And I thank you for your reminders to us, single and not, about God’s love and sufficiency!
Thank you, Lindsee, for saying what I feel!! I really struggle with being single, even though I have a great career and other things the world call “success”. I think this is an issue that’s become more prominent with women having so many choices these days and there’s less of an expectation that we’ll get married right after high school or college. I sometimes even feel like the church doesn’t know what to do with singles, and in their defense, we are a group that has developed more quickly than they can handle. I need to remember the promises you listed and know that He knows just where I belong!
Lindsee, someday you will look back and say Wow! God’s timing is perfect! You will meet your soul mate at the exact time you are supposed to! Maybe he isn’t ready for you yet so you need to be patient for God’s timing in his life too!
Just a little story of love to tell you. I talk to several people a day being a stylist and one of my favorite stories is that of a girl who was looking and looking for her future husband and thought he should be a doctor or a lawyer or something very important like that and after many years she realized her future husband was one of her very best friends! I am sure he was waiting all those years for her to realize that she was his future wife! So now they are happily married with 3 children. I just remember thinking how she was expecting someone very different from what God had planned for her!
Keep the Faith and trust God in His timing! I am praying for you! 🙂
And thanks for the scriptures as I wait and trust God for my prodigal son to come back!
Unwanted really stuck a note with this girl (even at 67 I still consider myself a girl)! I’ve been divorced since 1988 and have not dated during that time. I consider my divorced biblical and felt very convicted up to about two years ago that single was what God wanted for me. I had prayed for peace after my divorce and for suppression of sexual hunger and God had be merciful and granted me that peace. But two years ago unrest started to settle in my life. I think it is because I am approaching retirement and realize that companionship during this period of my life would be very enjoyable. So now I pray that if this is just a season of my life that God settle the unrest and if not provide a suitable companion. Also, to give me the strength to continue my single life. Beside approaching retirement, health forced me to move and I had to leave a wonderful congregation where I led a group of ladies like me and where the teaching and study was excellent. I haven’t been able to replace that and I know that is part of my unrest. Sorry to dump on you but as I said you really touched my heart.
Patricia, thank you for sharing. I hope the Lord leads you to a new husband if that’s His best for you, but also praying you find a sweet group of new friends to do and share life with. Bless you!
I. Feel. You.
Hi Lindsee! I just wanted to share that I was 26 before I got married and that was 24 years ago. Most of my high school friends had already married and started families. I remember that feeling of waiting and feeling unwanted. But I kept holding to a promise that I felt the Lord had given me and at the right time, He did bring a wonderful, godly man to me. We have had 7 children (!) and are pastoring a church. I just wanted to encourage you 🙂 It will be worth the wait.
Lindsee, thanks for opening yourself to all of us and being so honest. I was single until age 37 and definitely felt your same ups and downs. I was engaged previously to a man I thought was the perfect guy; thankfully the Lord opened my eyes that he wasn’t and I called off the wedding. That experience made me realize I needed to put my trust in the Lord in all things, I was too much into thinking I could handle it all myself, which is so wrong! The Lord blessed me with a wonderful husband 7 years later, it was definitely with His perfect timing. Hang in there, you are beautiful to us and to the Lord!
Thank you for posting this. As a single woman, I am often left feeling unwanted/undesired/unloved, but I need to remember to cling to our Faithful God who will do the perfect work in us. Thank you for being relateable and honest! It’s refreshing! Much love!!
oh this spoke to my heart so so much. thank you, sweet sister <3
Oh Lindsee….how i can relate to your every word !! I have felt that rejection all of my life. Thought i found someone to share life with, married, had 2 wonderful, beautiful kids and then he left. i was adopted, so my feelings of unwanted started a long time ago. However, the rejection, shame, hurt, self loathing are so much deeper now on the other side of divorce. And the pain my children suffer, i can’t bear it sometimes. i broke, when he left, and went down hard. So encouraged to hear you say that you take those feelings to the Lord to replace them with truth. i didn’t know a lot of that….but i am learning now. Thanks for sharing and just stay faithful !! Thanks
How wild that you wrote this post right when I’m praying for some single girlfriends!
Like my sisters already wrote, I completely understood UNWANTED. “Why aren’t you married?” at 30; “Why didn’t anyone scoop you up?” at 38. Because NO ONE wanted me!
After 40 years of wandering through the desert, trying every which way both holy and wholly profane to be discovered by my prince, I had it out with God. I told the Lord, “Okay, I hit the milestone. 40. I am officially a spinster. You promised me a husband, so you have to get your act together or you’re going to look really bad, Lord. I’m done.” A week and a half later (August 9, 2009), I met my husband at Taste of Texas restaurant, the Christian-owned steakhouse in Houston. Now, I can’t say our courtship and marriage were trouble-free. However, I can say without a shadow of a doubt that I absolutely love this man of God, that God’s timing is absolutely perfect, and that he absolutely will prepare you in the craziest ways (even the bad stuff) for your marriage. I just hope you don’t have to wait as long as I did!
Be blessed, Lindsee and all you single sisters out there. God is faithful!
Lindsee — I can’t tell you how much God used your words to touch me! Singleness is HARD …. thankful He is with us!
Thank you for sharing this. I needed to hear it today and to know that I’m not the only one who feels this way sometimes and that it’s ok.
Lindsee,
God has been bringing Singles to my attention lately, so to keep praying for y’all. I just heard Dara Maclean’s new song called, WANTED. Maybe it will bring you some encouragement. God loves you sooo much!
Thank you Lindsee for giving voice to what has been my experience as a single gal! 🙂 Well spoken & well timed! (God rocks like that!) Praying for you today, sweet sister!
Even though I am not single I still struggle with rejection from my earthly father. Several things have happened to our little family in the last several years, the most recent (almost 1 year ago) my middle child was diagnosed with cancer. Over and over the last year we have submitted her and ourselves to the Lord’s will. We are very thankful she is in remission. Will be celebrating the one year anniversary of her diagnosis in Bossier City this weekend with Living Proof!! Praying for such a move of the Holy Spirit on all who attend… including myself :). Thank you for your honesty. Your words echoed so many of my own insecurities.
Lindsee,
I didn’t get married until I was almost 35 years old, and I remember those feelings that you are feeling very well. I, however, made lots of dumb relationship choices, unlike you. I want to encourage you as you’re walking this single path. God has been so faithful to me in this area, and He will be for you too. Wanting a husband is a godly desire-and it’s normal to long for that companion. I really admire the fact that you still seek God first and foremost. I really struggled with that when I was single. I look forward to who He will bring into your life at the exact right moment! Just keep abiding in Him. (I know you will).
God, bless you for the encouragement , …..
Thank you for sharing all these wonderful verses/truths in the contents of your post. I have two single daughters in their late twenties, I hear them say much of what you have said. I know your words will encourage so many and I just encourage you to keep walking with God and trusting Him with your future.
“If I can’t believe what the Internet says, and if I can’t believe what I’m thinking half of the time, then the only and one sure thing I can believe is what God’s word says about Him, about me, and about His promises.”
Your honesty in your struggle is so refreshing. Transparency is so important in ministry and I think God smiles when those of us who love Jesus can be real with each other. Thank you for encouraging me today. Know that you are being lifted up to Him in prayer!
Girl, i could have written this exact same post last week! haha! I’m also 28, single, never been in a relationship (and was in full-time youth ministry up until about 8 months ago… i still do it… it’s just 39 hours a week instead of 40… but i digress…) anyway, what was I talking about? Oh yes, being single. Yes, honey, I feel you on this one! Some days/weeks/months it can get ROUGH. In the last few months, every single one of my close girlfriends has either gotten engaged, or gotten involved in a very serious relationship with “the one.” EVERY SINGLE ONE OF ‘EM! You KNOW the enemy started in on me REAL QUICK – and not just his usual “unwanted” but with an additional “God has officially LEFT YOU OUT.” I was an emotional wreck. But you know what? I did what you did. Went straight to the Word. Had to remind myself of what God says about me and my life. And had to confess how hurt I was, too. And like you said, He met me right where I was. And made that great exchange: “the garment of praise for the spirit of heaviness.” This single journey ain’t always easy… but I tell you, we certainly get to know our God REAL WELL!
Blessings to you, sister!
“For your Maker is your husband—the Lord Almighty is His name—” (Isa. 54:5 NIV) This verse sustains me so much! I’m 59. During my rebellious days (I call them my “heathen days”) I had two very short marriages/divorces. The first one was heartbreaking, the second one a nightmare. I tried dating, but finally gave up on it. After the two terrible divorces I raised my son by myself (with the help of my parents). Then one day I really, truly found Jesus—not the Jesus of my childhood or the Jesus of my teenage years, but the true Jesus, the love of my life, the beat of my heart. Sometimes it’s hard, especially when I hear other women say, “My husband….” and it sounds like a wonderful word. I wear a cross band on my left hand marriage finger and a band with the name of Jesus on my right hand—He is truly our Husband, ladies! And what I went through has enabled me to minister to others along the way. So many blessings of being single as it gives us more time with the Lord (1 Corinthians 7:32-35!!!). For my Maker is my Husband—the Lord God Almighty is His name, woohoo, hallelujah, amen!!!!!!!
Sweet Lindsee,
You are a blessing to all of us in this community. Your transparency, authenticity, and honesty is not overlooked. Rest assured, you are appreciated here. The countless women that join you in these feelings are rejoicing that they have someone putting their quiet pain into words and giving it a voice. There’s healing in that.
You are beyond beautiful.
xo Shelly
Thank you for your honesty and encouragement, Lindsee! As a fellow single person who so desires to be married, your reminder of God’s love and purpose was just what I needed to hear. I am also so encouraged by all the comments for this post too- from other single girls, to hearing others love stories, to being reminded that being married will not take away all loneliness. So thank you for being so open about something that is not hard to talk about in a lot of Christian circles. I’m praying for both our Mr. Rights!
Lindsee, I was truly touched by this blog, single at 41 I have had that feeling of being unwanted & although my life is mostly amazing and truly blessed with amazing friends, family and colleagues and continually amazed by God’s grace and fortunate enough to be living the dream in my calling & ministry as kids church leader in my church, the thought has crossed my mind to find that one special person to share my life & ministry with! Although I have seen some awful experiences with friends marriages I have also seen some amazing ones.