That was the word that ran through my mind last week.

Now, before I keep writing I want you to hear that I am okay. I do not despise being single. I’m not pinning wedding ideas, dresses and rings on a secret Pinterest board. (But no judgment to those of you that do have a secret wedding board. Grin.) I don’t believe I’m one that has put off living my life until marriage. I don’t do single life perfectly, but I do try to spend an appropriate amount of my time serving and doing exciting things. (If I cease to live my life while waiting for marriage, someone please smack me upside the head to snap out of it.) But while being single has its perks, it also has its setbacks. Lonely days come. (And for those of you married and lonely, know that my heart hurts for you. I’m praying and believing that God would do a restoration and redemption that only He can.) Just like we all have good and bad weeks as parents, or friends, singles also have good and bad weeks. Good and bad days.

Typically when I have a week like that, I hate to burden anyone around me so I keep it to myself. Part of how I walk in pride is that I compare my situation to others around me, and to the onlooker if my trials are seemingly small and trivial, I tend to play down my emotions and feelings. So yes, the truth is, I am very blessed, loved and wanted, however, on the flip side, what matters to me, matters to God. Even the seemingly trivial that may seem ridiculous to someone else. But for me to act like I’m okay all the time doesn’t do me or anyone else any good. Because for me to compare my situations to those around me and not deal with what’s going on inside of me? Well, that’s just seems ridiculous and unwise. How can I minister to others when I fail to minister to my own heart?

Last week was just one of those weeks. I could not get past that daunting word. Unwanted. It just felt like blow after blow. I couldn’t ever come up from the undertow. I’d fall, get up again, only to fall right back down. And everything, and I mean everything, reminded me of my singleness. And what sometimes feels like chronic singleness.

A text message from a friend.
Some sad news about a friend.
Some exciting news about a friend.
The need to get an oil change. (These are the things I need a husband for. Of course, I hope you can hear me laughing.)

Just to name a few.

I mean let’s be honest, sometimes a girl just needs (and wants) a male perspective to talk everything out with. Not to be needy. Not to be clingy. And certainly not for everything to be fixed and happy, but I think it’s healthy to long for a mate to do life with. The Lord created us male and female so that we would compliment each other. Be a helpmate to each other. (Granted, I know most males aren’t the chatty type, and I don’t imagine my future husband and I chatting for three hours at the end of every day, but on occasion? Well, sure. A girl can dream.)

I know this post sounds so depressing, but it is just true. Sometimes I don’t want to sugarcoat singleness. Because sometimes it’s just hard. And no fun.

I’m trying to become a more honest version of myself (something we talk about a lot around here) and one thing I have been confessing to the Lord lately was that although I know He’s chosen to protect me for 28 years from all the hurt and pain that relationships can bring, to a girl who desires to be a wife and mother one day, it feels a lot like rejection.

Yes, the Lord’s protection feels a lot like rejection to me. A different form of rejection, sure, but rejection nonetheless.

And let me tell you one thing, rejection isn’t pretty or easy.

This I know, no relationship can shrink that deep longing inside each of us to know and be known. In fact, I think the deeper our relationships grow and the longer we have them, the more we realize how crafty God was in leaving that hole that only he can fill. Our longing has been, and always will be, Him.

But it’s when I start to spiral into a thought process of pity and lies that I’m so gently reminded of the Lord’s promises.

The scary thing about being human flesh and blood is that I can be so stubborn. Even when He gently wants to woo me back to Him, sometimes I want to sit in my self-pity. Gross. So, I can choose to be stubborn, or I can let God deal with me. The choice really is my own.

Can I tell you one thing I know to be true? One thing that I’ve been working out with the Lord? If I can’t believe what the Internet says, and if I can’t believe what I’m thinking half of the time, then the only and one sure thing I can believe is what God’s word says about Him, about me, and about His promises.

God’s promises to me and to you reveal more about Him to us than us to Him. Does that make sense? He knows us inside and out, but He’s given us His promises so that we can know and trust Him. They reveal His glory. His character. His trustworthiness.

I can trust His word by faith because in 2 Timothy 3:16 He’s told us that “all scripture is God breathed…”, so when I need to correct my thinking, I can rest on the promises in His word. The Word He has spoken.

“So that the man of God may be complete and proficient, well fitted and thoroughly equipped for every good work.” 2 Timothy 3:17

He doesn’t speak truth to my heart just to hear His own voice, He speaks truth so that I’m complete and equipped for every good work. There is purpose in His Word. There is purpose in His promises. There is purpose in His goodness.

How do I know He’s good?

Because I know the character of God. Listen, I know those of us who have heard these characteristics and promises time and time again tend to skip over them, but hear them today. Bring each of your circumstances and situations to these scriptures today and let them mold your thinking. No, the Word may not bring immediate clarity or all the answers to your situation, but the Word of God can bring peace and clarity to your heart and mind in the midst of restlessness.

He’s not out to harm me, or spite me. Jeremiah 29:10 – 14

Discipline me? Yes, He tells us he disciplines His children, and although it’s not fun at the time, it makes me more like Him. Hebrews 12:1-13

He’s kind. His heart is warm towards us. Sympathetic towards us. It’s His kindness that leads us to repentance. Not his harshness. Ephesians 2:7. Isaiah 63:7.

He’s gracious. He’s generous to our poor and needy selves. He doesn’t look down upon those who are of “lower social status” than Him. Isaiah 30:18

He’s loving. I don’t have to beg for His love. He gives it freely. His actions speak far louder than His words. He took His love to the cross for us. Psalm 62:11-12. Psalm 145:17

He’s faithful. His affections toward us never run out. He’s faithful forever. Psalm 33:4. Psalm 145:13. Psalm 146:6.

Nothing can separate me from His love. Nothing. Romans 8:37-39

He’s always with me. Deuteronomy 31:8

He meets all of my needs. Not my wants, my needs. Philippians 4:19

I’m never more thankful for Jesus than when He stoops down to meet me in my place of poverty. My place of unbelief. That place where I’ll undoubtedly return to at some point in my moments of weakness. I recently read a quote by a preacher that has not left me the past month or so, it said, “God invites us to come as we are, not stay as we are.” So that lie I kept repeating to myself last week? That ugly word, unwanted? I bring it to the Lord, I bring Him my honest self and over time, it’s exchanged for the truth of being wanted, pursued and delighted in by a very good God.


166 Responses to “Unwanted”

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  1. 1
    Shaci says:

    Thanks for posting this Lindsee!! I needed it so much! Felt the singleness this past week.

  2. 2
    Emily says:

    Beautiful! As someone about your age in a very similar life situation, I really appreciated this post. I know it’s one that I’ll bookmark and revisit.

  3. 3
    Susan says:

    Sweet Lindsee – Your words have blessed me. I am married but in a lonely marriage, often feeling unwanted. This is a wonderful reminder that God loves me, He thinks I am worthy and beautiful, He is all I need.
    Thank you!

  4. 4
    E says:

    I’ve totally been there with you before I was married a few years ago. (I married later than most people.) Here’s the catch – I’ve been there WAY MORE OFTEN SINCE I’ve been married. (Perhaps I’m alone in this? But my guess is that there are a few others out there like me…) I’m there now. Yes, it’s true (I type with tears in my eyes): Only God can fulfill; Only God’s love is unconditional and freely given; Only God will never leave or harm. So keep that list of verses printed out somewhere for those hard days being single. And keep it even closer if/when the Lord brings marriage. Thanks for the reminder.

  5. 5
    Sandi says:

    Precious Lindsee,
    May God provide abundantly more than you could ever hope or imagine. Thank you for sharing your heart.

    Praying for you,

    Sandi Floria

  6. 6
    Kristi says:

    Lindsee, what a refreshing post. Thanks for the list of scripture. That’s an answer to prayer. I struggle with these very same issues, just a while longer. My heart knows the truth but the Enemy loves to deceive me. I have also wrestled with honestly sharing these struggles. In light of other more serious issues, mine seems frivolous. I know the truth, but it’s still difficult to share. Blessings…

  7. 7
    Pat says:

    Lindsee–you are a beloved child of God! You are very much wanted!! It will just be in the Lord’s timing and with the Lord’s provision. I married in my 30’s, after years of getting it wrong, in the wrong relationships. You are wayyy ahead of me, by not wasting time in relationships that are not meant to be! It’s hard to wait, but trust in the Lord. He will provide. Lean on Him, pour out your heart to Him. He will use this for good! Praying for peace!

  8. 8
    Angie says:

    Bless you for sharing. Another scripture that comforts me in my certain refining situation is 2 Cor 4:17-18:

    For momentary light affliction is producing for us an eternal weight of glory far beyond all comparison, while we look not at the things which are seen but at the things which are not seen; for the things which are seen are temporal but the things which are not seen are eternal.

  9. 9
    Emmalee says:

    Ooh I am having a miserable week so for some reason your post made me giggle(not because I am downplaying your feelings)! It just made me think oh women and our cycles and our moods! One day we are happy and the next down! Praying you have more ups!!! I always tell my husband if it wasn’t for my “.” I wouldn’t know how miserable I am!!!!hahaha

  10. 10
    Diana A. says:

    O Lindsee, how amazing you are to share so clearly, and so deeply. Thank you!

    Wait – is a place that God has me too. And it is stinking hard! Mine is a completely different wait, but nevertheless, it makes some days hard. Today I was told in my heart to rejoice… just plain rejoice. Again somedays that is hard to do. But I want to be obedient, so I will have my praise music on, and my heart – heavy but rejoicing!

    I do Praise God for His understanding of us – our secert selves, the area we hold on to only for His eyes to see. And with that He still has a plan, a good plan for those unanswered prayers. He is in control, and able to supply All our needs. God is just plain Good!!! Delightfully Good!

    Praying for His Delight for you will be answered soon!

  11. 11
    Angela says:

    I understand completely. As a divorce 34 year old, it is easy to think that I will never have a partner here on earth. I’ve been through the pain of a nasty divorce, yet it seems like life here on earth (and it seems especially this way at church) is made for married couples. It is so easy to feel neglected and left out. You are not alone in your feelings or struggles, but it seems like you have a much better attitude about it than I do right now.

  12. 12
    Kendra says:

    This blessed me today sister. I live overseas and have been married for awhile…we are in a new position where we’re about to be interacting with a lot more singles…This was a good reminder for me to be sensitive to people in different life stages – there is so much richness and blessing to be had by interacting with people in all different stages of life. One thing that struck us when we first came overseas as we (as young married’s w/ no kids) were interacting with families w/ kids, singles, and empty-nesters was that for the most part the Amer chrch can tend to be so segregated by nature of how SS is set up, etc. I know that’s not the case across the board but it just struck us as we fellowshipped and engaged w/ people in all walks of life that this was what the body was supposed to look like. And we’ve SO been the better for it. Anyhoo, sorry for this e-mail sized (and possibly seemingly unrelated to what you said) comment 😉 Thanks for sharing your heart so honestly and regularly on here – I’m blessed by your ministry at LPM sister!

    • 12.1
      Lindsee says:

      Kendra, one of my very favorite things about my church is that I do life with a lot of folks that are NOT single. Most are married with kids, and you know what? It blesses me immensely. So I hear you! Thanks for you kind words. Blessings to you and your husband as you serve overseas in a legitimately foreign land than what you’re used to!

      • Tanya says:

        I sincerely need help in interacting with the married and have kids group as a single woman. I am so self conscious of men anyway and then if they are married I’m DONE!

        And the women are usually fine but I so afraid to trigger an insecurity in them that I am afraid of them as well… If their men are gone far away then I am fine but interacting in groups is like something that I can’t even begin to know how to do!!!

  13. 13
    Lee Ann says:

    Oh how I love you and your honesty. Beautifully written. Thank you for sharing your heart.

  14. 14
    Kimberly says:

    It’s been a few years since I’ve been on the blog, but have spent the past few weeks catching up while in a down time (of activity) in life right now. I totally struggle with this issue and it’s a stronghold that the enemy has used in my life many times.

    Although my mother “raised me”–providing food, clothing, and shelter (for 13 out of 18 years)–she definitely did not function in that capacity emotionally or spiritually. I’ve dealt with some serious abandonment issues with her and some abuse issues that I faced (by a babysitter and years later by my father) because she failed to be there.

    I came to accept Jesus as my Lord and Savior back in 2001 after becoming homeless, yet I believe that the thing that I have struggled with most…and even more so today after 8 months of intense counseling is this:

    I know that in my head everything that the Bible says is true, but how, in the depths of the deepest places in my heart, can I know that I know that I know that I know that I CAN trust Him?? I know that the two greatest sins for the Israelites were distrust and disobedience, and I so don’t want to live like this…. I just don’t know what to do or how to go about things.


    • 14.1
      Lindsee says:

      Kimberly, I am so sorry for all you’ve been through. I don’t have answers, but I know that He proves trustworthy time and time again. But, the biggest thing you can do is pray. Pray that the Lord would seal that trust in your heart. And find someone else to pray with you and for you in that. How often do I pray, “Lord, I believe! Help my unbelief!” You’re not alone. He will do it!

    • 14.2
      Tanya says:

      Oswald Chambers has spoken to me a lot in the book my utmost for His highest.

      You may find it a nice landing place for your soul.

      I have some very similar issues and its very difficult. I’d give you my email if I could by blog permission. But if not then get the book and ask God to help you. I only think that over and over you see that it is better to obey God than men in the bible…and that is why. God is so much the better and gentler!! I’ll pray for you today dear sister

  15. 15
    Stacey says:

    Thank you so much for this post. I’m 32 and single and struggle so much with feeling unwanted. Thank you for your honest words, your beautiful perspective and for encouraging a single gal from Iowa today. THANK YOU!!!

  16. 16
    NikkiPoppins says:

    Girl, in my head you are! 😉

    I have been there a lot lately and have had to tell myself to get over it and let God do His thing. And I sometimes have had to say it out loud! Where I am in my life right now is such a weird place no matter how you look at it, so its very easy to slip down into the “Depths of Despair” as Anne Shirley would say. I mean, I’m single, about to turn 33, living with my grandparents, going to college and working part time. Hello! That’s what life for an early twenty something looks like…not me! It’s especially hard after living on my own, in a different city & working in the corporate world for ten years!
    To be honest I struggle with the word FAILURE more than Unwanted. But I know that God has a plan for me and its all working according to HIS time frame, not mine! There’s a reason that I’m where I am and doing what I am and I know that I’d rather be here on HIS time schedule than miserable where I want to be on MY time schedule! Realizing that my life isn’t bad, it’s just not exactly the life I want and that I trust God with the desires of my heart, has helped me do my life now. And it’s a realization I have to have practically daily! A senior gentleman at the church I grew up in always said, “Every day is a good day…some are just better than others!”
    Thanks for this Lindsee! I needed it and will be sharing it with others!
    Thinking of and Praying for you often girl!!

    • 16.1
      Lindsee says:

      You’re a gem, Nikki! God is using you in the here and now right where you are. Know and believe that! Much love, Sister.

  17. 17
    Lynne says:

    Sweet girl –
    Thank you for being real. That’s why I love y’all’s ministry. There is a wonderful man for you and he will be thanking God when he finds you!

  18. 18
    Ashley says:

    Lindsee- thanks so much for your post this week. Some of my single friends and I have been going through exactly what you are describing. That feeling of unwanted-ness is such an ugly feeling. A thought that has helped me through that feeling is that no matter how much I want to be a part of a relationship with someone else, God is smarter than me, and knows that either I’m not ready, or the person who He has for me is not ready. I’ve been resting in the fact that God wouldn’t give me the desire if He wasn’t going to do something wonderful with it. Just wanted you to know that you are not alone, and I’ll be praying for you.

  19. 19
    Penny says:

    My dad wanted a boy for his firstborn. I was a bundle of pink, and from the beginning, a disappointment. I was unwanted from the moment I was born. Oh, how I understand the pain of that word. It has followed me my entire life, even into marriage. When my husband chose another woman over me, the word seemed to become me. I wore it like a definition. I read your post with tears, willing myself to feel and believe those characteristics of God. I’m so thankful that you know these, and have chosen to walk in that knowledge. Blessings to you.
    You are in my prayers.

    • 19.1
      Lindsee says:

      Penny, thank you for sharing your heart and story. You are very much wanted, girl. I am so sorry you went through that. Truly. But I know the Lord is near to you! Claim the truths with me! Blessings to you.

    • 19.2
      MAry Ann says:

      Oh Penny, I know that hurt well. I was not wanted. Period. And when I was born a girl….well it was worse. My mother felt she had disappointed my father..and in fact had tricked him into the pregnancy. She admitted this to me just 3 years ago…I am in my late 50’s.I think my dad took his resentment with Mama out on me. I felt like I could never measure up and was always trying to be loved. I do believe they loved me in their way. I never went for anything…but it was just short. When I came to peace with all this, it was because God gave me a wonderful experience. I was walking and asking God to speak a Word just for me. i felt an arm go around me and the Words were almost audible…I Love You. Not because of anything you are striving to do, but just because. I am pleased with you. And there is peace in y heart…ask Him…He will speak truth to your hurting heart and will bring healing.

  20. 20

    Oh girl. This is timely for me too, but in a different way. I can’t have anymore children (I have one) and she just started Kindergarten last week. Seems like EVERYWHERE (like you were saying) I see things that remind me that my stay-at-home mom time was cut MUCH shorter than most, and I’ve been struggling with anger/jealousy over that. I also live with chronic pain, so her being in school helps my stamina levels…in some ways her not being in school is the Lord’s provision for me. It’s just hard to see something you don’t want anyway as the Lord’s provision! ha! Am I making sense? It’s been a rough week. But, thank you for this post! Very encouraging. <3

    • 20.1

      correction: *in some ways her BEING in school….*

    • 20.2
      Denise says:

      I get it. My daughter started Kindergarten last week, too, and she is the only child we have. We’re so blessed to have her, but I had hoped she would have a sibling. It doesn’t appear to be God’s plan, and most of the time, I’m at peace with that. But, a baby announcement can cause that peace to vanish. Kristen, I will pray for you by name. It helps to know we’re not alone in our struggles.

      • Kristen says:

        *tears* There aren’t a ton of us “one childers” out there, so it’s always extra refreshing to hear from other moms who are. We get one another right away. Thank you, sweet siesta sister!

  21. 21
    lindsey says:


    I hear you girl! I’m 33 and so wish I was married, not because it would complete me or anything like that, only because it’s a desire I’ve had for such a long time. I’m sure so many of us are in the same boat! Thanks for being so genuine & BRAVE in sharing your heart, it’s hard to lay it all out there, especially for so many who read the lproof blog to see. Just like you stated, HE is FAITHFUL. Gosh, it’s hard being single, especially when you want to be married. I know God is doing something in you and me & so many other girls out there who are in this exact situation.

  22. 22
    Rene Sandifer says:

    I love and respect you for your genuiness and honesty. I just want you to know how much your god loves you… He indeed prompted me to pray for you, Eposi (another gal I met here through the blog 2 years ago) along with my 24 and 26 yr old daughters just yesterday. I prayed for this very thing. THIS. I asked Him for all kinds of things for you beautiful, Godly, single, ministry loving, serving women. I also prayed for Him to bring a Boaz into each of your fields. In His time. And to bless you each of you so immensely for your courage and trust to wait for the man He alone will provide. For your ministry while you are single that cannot be the same as when you are married. For broken hearts and disappointments along the way when “the one” was not “the one”. As a mothers of daughters that are going through this, too. We PRAY.
    Not that my prayers are worth more than any of the many others who are undoubtedly praying. But, I just wanted you to know. Because there are no coincidences in God’s promptings. He absolutely is with you on this journey.
    Much love to you, Lindsee! xo rene

    • 22.1
      Lindsee says:

      Rene, you bless me in so many ways. Truly! Thank you so much. I’m so thankful you’re my friend. Much love to you!

  23. 23
    Teresa says:

    I remember those feelings. I, too was single way longer than I ever thought I would be. It occurs to me now that when Satan throws a particular lie our way, we COULD hear that as if it were like our alarm clock going off and IMMEDIATELY, right then , pray for either another person struggling with the same thing. If single, you could pray for your future husband! He longs to meet you and Satan throws discouragement at him too. Just think how God could bring glory to even a particularly difficult week, Lots of prayers going up!

  24. 24
    Ruth says:

    After years of longing to be a wife and mother, God blessed me with a wonderful husband in my early thirties. I had no idea what loneliness, emptiness and loss lay ahead for me until we had our first and then second miscarriage. Years later, I keep putting my faith in the One who loves us so. I keep looking to Him to fill the emptiness in our hearts, in our arms, in our life as a family. I still have hope that we will be parents again one day. But it is hard, really hard. And it feels like most people just don’t understand, and it feels like a very lonely path to be on.

    So, single sisters: I encourage you to keep the faith and know that you ARE loved…and that there are many of us married women who get it, know what it’s like to be in waiting, and we care for you, and pray for you, and ask for God to bless you richly! You are not alone. Keep hoping and looking to Him to provide, and receive His Grace when the road feels long and lonely….you are beautiful and we need you! Blessings.

    • 24.1
      Denise says:

      Ruth, I understand. I was finally able to carry a baby to term and am so thankful to God. However, we never forget the children we have in heaven, and it is ok to grieve. I am praying for you and your husband.

  25. 25
    Tamara says:

    Thanks for the encouragin words Lindsee. This 30 and still single gal needed to hear them today.

  26. 26

    Oh, how I’ve been where you are. I didn’t marry until I was 33 and didn’t date a lot, so I often felt unwanted, even unlovable. I’ve now been married for almost six years and can tell you that marriage and motherhood are a REFINING FIRE! Seriously, enter into them with much fear and trepidation. 🙂 I’m married to a good man that loves me, but becoming one flesh is a lot harder and takes a lot longer than one would think.

    Know that your single years are not wasted. I’ve been thinking a lot lately about Paul’s words in 1 Cor 7, where he stated that a married person’s interests are divided. That is so true. You’re probably much more spiritually mature than I was, but there were times that I felt like I was just marking time until I got married and had kids. Turns out that wasn’t true. When I was single, I taught a Bible study class, did all sorts of Bible studies, traveled on mission trips, served at Passion events and wherever I could. Now that I’m a mom, I do none of those things. Even if I had the time, I have such a hard time focusing on even a simple quiet time because I’m always thinking about my kids and husband and what’s going on in our lives. I’m so thankful that I had all those years of singleness to invest in Scripture and to learn by serving because I’m reaping the benefits of that now. I can’t imagine where I would be spiritually in this season of small children if I didn’t have those years to invest in my spiritual development. So know that you are investing in your future with every quiet time, every act of service, and every good friendship that you develop.

  27. 27
    Lori says:

    Thanks for sharing this…so very encouraging.

  28. 28
    Jabber Jaws says:

    YES! I don’t know why but it brings out all my crazy to hear my daughters listening and singing a song called Wanted that is sung by a TEENAGE boy. Seriously, makes me want to be liberated of my good lunch. We constantly talk about the desire of everyone to be “wanted.” And what’s a girl to do when her feelings will settle for less than the ideal!?! We call that wanting the good enough as opposed to wanting the wonderful. I’m praying for all of us to want the wonderful even if that path is down a road that, at times, veers to lonely.

  29. 29
    Shanda says:

    Thank you so much for sharing your heart. I haven’t visited the blog in quite some time, and I am amazed that this is the first post I would read upon returning. Surely, God knows our needs even before we do. I lost my husband over 10 years ago at the age of 27. In these past ten years, I’ve thrown myself into raising my two children, and my life has revolved around their lives. Now that they are getting older, I’m realizing that my identity is so wrapped up in being their mom. What is going to happen to me when they leave the nest? Now…I’ve had seasons of contentment, but lately I feel such anxiety surrounding the fact that I will be completely alone in just a few short years. Frankly, it scares me to death.

    In the past couple of weeks, everything I’ve read in my quiet time and bible study, everything our pastor has preached on, even this blog post has spoken directly to this place I’m in spiritually and emotionally. I know God can give me peace, and I’m grateful that He’s working on my heart. Thanks again for sharing this.

  30. 30
    Gretchen says:

    Hey, Lindsee – Thanks so much for sharing your heart and being real. Being single IS hard, even with the blessings of it. I don’t know why the Lord has you in this situation any more than I know why he has me in the same situation at almost 50 years old. I still don’t know why the Lord never brought me a husband and children even though it is what I have wanted since I was 9 years old. It can be a daily choice to believe that for reasons I may never understand this side of heaven, the Lord has said, “No.” I don’t know if that will be for the rest of my life or if He will some day bring me a godly man. But, I choose to trust His heart toward me, even when I am in pain with the lonliness and sadness. It can be a very isolating pain as so many don’t understand or just want to put a bandaid on it and say all the things we say to each other when there is suffering. I don’t know if you are like me in that I don’t feel like I can say anything, because after all, there are starving children in Africa and what do I have to feel bad about? (Please take this in the way it was meant! It is a tragedy a million times over and I would literally give my life for those precious people to be fed). There is a daily choice to walk with Him in this, and I believe that the Lord’s way, His will, will prove itself as the best way some day. Just like it will for you. I pray that the Lord brings you a godly and wonderful man. But, if for some reason, His will is that you remain single, know that you will make it. We never get the grace before we need it, but it always shows up at the right time. And there will be good days and bad days. And that it is a crazy kind of joy to be able to join Him in suffering that hopefully makes me more compassionate and loving in a world in desperate need of both.

    May God richly bless you, sweet Lindsee, and hear and answer the cry of your heart.

  31. 31
    Julie says:

    It’s as though you were standing in my kitchen 20 minutes ago listening to the words I spoke out loud. I stood there and told God that sometimes it IS disheartening, sometimes it IS overwhelming, sometimes I DO get mad/jealous/prideful/downity(thanks to Beth Moore for the new word)! I find myself in this season of life that seems so long… A season of loneliness… I’m also not the girl who takes my “petty” problems to people(even as i type i am fighting thoughts that tell me my pain is not worth your time) It is so small compared to many, but the hurt seems so big at times. It’s a string of incidents and losses, rejections & forgottens, that go back to the youngest years of my life. I’ve longed for some one to share my walk with Christ with, to pray with, to know and be known by. I’ve prayed, I’ve thanked God that he has heard me. But when these days/weeks come I cannot stop the tears. God heard me today, I haven’t visited this blog in sometime, but today as I sat down from expressing my hurt to God, I picked up my phone and without thinking went straight for LPM, to read your words. Thank you for faithfully writing, and for showing this 28 year old that God hears my cries, and my pain no matter how small I see it, is important to Him. I am loved, I am known, I am wanted, and that will not change.

  32. 32
    Candace Lyons says:

    Dear Lindsee,

    “I GET it!” There are Sundays when it feels almost unbearable to go into church alone…sit alone…leave alone. Singleness CAN be lonely. It can also be very quiet. I eat alone most days, and do the majority of my activities alone. I too take my car for repairs, etc…alone. But, I have learned to change a tire, change my own oil and even open a hot radiator, if needed.:) The Lord continues to use this “season” to grow me in so many ways. I am praying to HEAR Him in the quiet. There may be a time in the future when marriage and children create much hustle and bustle. So for now, I don’t want to miss the whisper. He speaks and I want to hear Him. Elizabeth Elliot spoke once to share that she had been married 3 times, yet has spent the majority of her life as a single woman. Perhaps the Lord allows this, chooses this, for us to allow Him to be our Husband, our Provider, our Leader, our Covering. With a real flesh and blood husband, I may never long for such things…

    P.S. I have been singing this song over and over this past month:


    From the day you were born
    And took your first breath
    You opened your eyes and in came the light
    He was watching you
    But all of your life you couldn’t shake the lies in your head
    Saying you’re a mistake
    Oh but you were made
    By a God who knows your name
    He doesn’t make mistakes

    You are wanted
    To every broken heart, He stands with open arms
    You are wanted
    To every searching soul, look to the rising sun
    If you’re lonely, hurting, gone too far
    To the outcast you come as you are
    For you, you are wanted, you, you are wanted
    You, you are wanted, you, you are wanted

    Let this be the day that joy takes the place
    Of all of the years that shame tried to steal away
    He is calling you
    Lift your eyes to see His face
    Come run into the arms of grace


    You, you have been marked
    You’re set apart
    And He calls you His
    So you don’t have to search
    Don’t have to look for where you belong

    You are wanted

  33. 33
    Karen E says:

    Oh Lindsee!

    Thank you for being you, being real, being obedient to God’s nudging for you to write about this today! I have just had a siege of feeling lonely down to my core, and it’s a hard place to be in a world of connected people. It can be far to easy to go the comparison route. God has been so good over the years to teach me the difference between feeling lonely and feeling alone — I am never alone because of God’s constant presence, praise Him! But the feeling of loneliness can be very strong. Thank you for sharing your favorite supporting scriptures. God is Immanuel — we can trust in this Name!

  34. 34
    Adele says:

    I don’t usually comment, but it was a beautifully honest entry that was a timely encouragement for me.

    Thanks! 🙂

    (a sister being encouraged all the way in Singapore)

  35. 35
    Eileen says:

    I didn’t get married until I was 50, my husband 55. First time for both of us. I felt, Yay, at last, someone to grow old with, to talk with to share life with. And I had a GREAT 5 almost 6 years …. then my dear boy up and died sudden like, shockingly sudden. Left me back at what seemed like square one. Yes, I changed in those years. I am not the same person that went into marriage. BUT, I have those lonely moments again, only now as a widow sans children. I’ve learned not to dwell too long in self pity (a good thing I read “Hinds’ Feet on High Places” before this all happened and “My Utmost For His Highest”) … in fact I try to nip it in the bud … with THANKFULNESS. Oh yes, it is hard at times and sometimes starts out grudgingly but hey, it WORKS … and oh, such an exercise of faith … He has given the garment of praise for the spirit of heaviness. I really don’t want to be married again but it would be nice to have someone to share meals with and talk things over with … etc. The Lord HAS to be my sufficiency and it forces me to go to Him. And, I’m okay with that even if I have to give myself some self/scripture talk once in a while in those low times. Tonight I had a candlelight dinner. I lit the candles in remembrance that He is my light, His word a lamp unto my feet, I toasted the wine for His blood poured out and I thanked Him for the food (lamb dinner … the lamb who was slain from before the foundation of the world) and sat down and ate. It was good. I am thankful.

  36. 36
    Laura says:

    Thanks for your words, Lindsee. I am 30, single, and have been waiting on God’s best for me since I was 16. IT. IS. HARD. Being a wife and mother is the deepest desire of my heart that has remained unfulfilled. It hurts. I agree that just like everyone else, as a single, you have good weeks and bad weeks. God is so faithful and I place my trust in Him every day. It’s just nice to know that I’m not alone! 🙂 Praying that God has something beautiful in mind for both of us, and all of us ladies that have been (trying to) patiently waiting for a godly man for their entire lives! 🙂

  37. 37

    That is just sweetness … we all need that reminder.

  38. 38
    Mary Geiaen says:

    Beautiful, honest and raw! Thank you for sharing so intimately. I pray that you feel God’s love deeply in all moments of your day. Even though you speak from the woman’s perspective, this is very relevant for men too. Blessings to you!

  39. 39
    2bluemom says:

    Mmm … I have been there! I had a tough season–and age 28 in particular was when I really struggled–serving overseas, struggling with singleness. I ended up meeting my husband at 29 and was blown away by God’s timing and gracious gift. More recently, I’ve gone through another season of deep unmet longings and broken dreams and those verses you listed, that clinging to God’s character, repeating those truths to myself … it’s definitely what gets me through, and I wish I had clung to those truths more strongly 9 years ago in that tough season. Thankful for do-overs. And thank you for being a more honest version of yourself and helping the rest of us maybe feel a little more encouraged and a little braver to do the same!

  40. 40
    Katie says:

    Lindsey, I’m going through one of Beth Moore’s study’s and just signed up for this blog. This is first blog I got and oh how I needed it. I could relate to it all. I’m not a single who sits arounds and pines away and 95% of the time I’m quite happy where God has me. The last few weeks the last of my longtime close friends have paired off and/or gotten engaged. Struggling with being the only one left, while all hearing the call to go deeper with Him. I haven’t been able to put it into words for the fear of being needy or selfish. You did eloquently. Thank you. Thank you for the reminder that He cares.

  41. 41
    Mindy says:

    Thanks so much for this Lindsee. I needed to hear this today.
    I’ll be praying for you and all of us who replied to this.
    May we truly be able to believe in our hearts, yes we are wanted.

    Have you heard Dara Mclean’s new song “Wanted”?

  42. 42
    Mary Jen says:

    “But those that hope in the Lord will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary; they will walk and not be faint.”

  43. 43
    Marlise says:

    Oh, sweet Lindsee, I so needed all the honesty you wrote tonight! It is so hard to be alone, whether you are 20-something and still waiting, or, like me, 50-something and divorced . Thank you for sharing the feelings that could have come right from my own heart. How wonderful that our God is a big God, and can handle our honest feelings!! We just have to send each other hugs and prayers !

  44. 44
    Debra says:

    What a beautiful exchange! When we a willing to, (even though reluctantly at times) we can bring to God our deepest longings and He is so extravagantly generous to fill our greatest needs.
    Thank you for sharing this! God bless you!!

  45. 45
    KathyS says:

    My heart aches for your longings. I know, I experienced them until I was 35. And once I married I continued to long for intimacy and 24 years later I am facing the reality that it will never be. My best advice for all of you struggling is, “Be content in who you are in Christ.” And work hard to cultivate an intimate relationship with Him. Don’t get me wrong, I love my husband, but 21+ years without a kiss or physical touch can also bring about the feeling of being unwanted and it is so sad. But, my relationship with Him is strong – were it not, I would have perished years ago. I pray that each and every one of you single sisters find the man of God that your heart desires and that you learn to share your lives in Christ together as one.

  46. 46
    Rebecca says:

    Lindsee, thank you so much for your honesty and encouragement. I am a single 34 year old girl myself. Had a great conversation with another sister in Christ the other week. She is my age, married with three children. We both revealed that each others lives sometimes made us wish we could “trade places”. Yet we know He is faithful and gracious to meet us where we are and provide Godly friends to encourage us along the way. Sometimes those friends are in Siestaville! Love and blessings to you as we wait upon The Lord!


  47. 47
    Sue says:

    I love how you shared honestly about your down days and your feelings of being unwanted- I love how you could see that it wasn’t wise to stay in the pity party- I love even more how you ended your blog with truths from Gods word and how you self medicated yourself with God’s abundant love for you- God bless you for not just being fine all the time- recognising your short comings and relying on God to be there for you…
    God is amazingly good..
    God bless from downunder
    Sue xx

  48. 48
    Laura says:

    What a sweet reminder for me today. I was turned down for four jobs I had interviewed for, and as a single mom I need a job quite desperately. It is easy to paint the unwanted label broadly on my life, but that is not from my precious Lord. I needed to be reminded of his promises today. Thanks for sharing a courageous post.

  49. 49
    Missy says:

    Thank you for sharing this so very much. The word that kept stinging my heart all week was “Forgotten” . And I love church more than many things, but when you are always by yourself it is easy for people to forget you. There are dad events, mom events, kid events, and couples events. And when there is a “women’s” event, it is usually about being a wife or a mom which really says if you don’t get to be either you’re not valued here. I know i am just a small percentage but it still hurts. I know God hasn’t forgotten me, but i still need an occasional” Love you” from an audible voice with a hug attached. Thank you

  50. 50
    Betty M says:

    Dear Lindsee,
    I so hear you!! I have a 35 yr old son who is an electrical lineworker in the oil rich Bakken formation in ND. He never had a date in his life. Not becuz he is my son but many say he is the nicest young man they have ever seen. He is compassionate, kind, he is wise with his finances and he is a strong Christian
    He hung out with us older folks alot becuz he said he had no social life! I could tell at special holidays etc he really felt lonely and wanted to share all those times of life with a special someone. He always said though that God was gona have to arrange it becuz he didnot think he woudl find Miss Right climbing poles!!
    This past year he found her!! God will totally amaze you when the timing is right!!! We had so many connections with the family of this girl even though they live 300 miles away! He met her in March and right now they are working on finishing a house they will live in when they are married next summer. She is a christian girl and Scott proposed to her at the altar of the church they will be married in! Scott always prayed he’d find her and God brought it to pass in His good timing!
    So, yes it is lonely and yes you sometimes wonder if God has all things timed the right way but He does and He will blow you away when the time comes!!
    I have a 41 yr old daughter who is not married as well. She feels the pressure especially now that her younger brother is getting married but I have to remind her that He works all things for good and so He will in her case too but that she should not settle for just anyone but keep up her high standards and the right time will come. You are an attractive gal, Lindsee and seem to have a wonderful personality so it is all just a matter of timing! Just be patient and trust God!!
    Love from the praires of Dakota Land!
    Betty M

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