I just spent the past ten weeks immersed in a group of high school girls as we studied the book, So Long, Insecurity together. It was a really sweet (and slightly exhausting, in the best way possible) ten weeks. Among other issues, I bet you could take one guess into a major theme we discussed week in and week out. Dating. Are you shocked? If you are, you might need to get some young girls around you for an hour so you can hear it for yourself. The topic of boys is a popular one. It will get any girl talking. In fact, we spent one entire week hearing all about boys from one wiser, older man and the girls were on pins and needles the entire hour and a half.
To lead a small group and to get girls talking means being authentic and sharing your own struggles and hurts, so inevitably, the girls asked me every question in the book about dating and wanted to hear all about my love life.
Questions like, Are you dating anyone? and Are there any prospective guys in your life? swirled around. While part of me would have loved to have testified about the amazing man the Lord had provided for me, I answered with a simple, Nope!
Because we were all getting to know each other and because they assumed I lived a chick flick kind of love life, I went ahead and told them a bit of my story which included that I’d never “officially” dated anybody nor had I ever had a boyfriend. To be honest, they are always slack-jawed. At 14, you still believe you’ll meet the man of your dreams in college, have 2.5 children and live in a house with a white picket fence, so to meet someone with a different story is slightly shocking.
More often than not, I’m able to encourage the girls when they think their life has gone to shreds because they either don’t have a boyfriend, or they’ve just been broken up with. I never want to dismiss their feelings, but I also want them to know that life is so much more than the boy next door. Plus, the fact that I’m living, breathing and thriving in life gives them a peace that they too will be okay even if it stinks at that moment. And that in all circumstances, God is still good, not because of what He does, but because of who He is. If that’s not a testimony for teenage girls, I’m not sure what is.
One interesting question that arose was, Is your lack of relationship/no boyfriend due to choice or due to just never feeling like it was’time? (They assumed it was due to a choice.) In other words, had I rejected a lot?
Have I rejected a lot? I’ve rejected none.
Let me just say that if I stopped right there, and took a good look at my dating circumstances, I could get so depressed. What girl doesn’t want to be pursued? Asked on a date? Taken to a fancy restaurant? Hugged (or kissed, yes kissed) goodnight? It’s every girls dream to be swept away by her prince charming. Every. Single. Girl. Whether they admit it or not.
Let me also set the record straight that I’m not against dating whatsoever. I didn’t make some rule for myself when I was 10 that I wouldn’t date until I was 27. Nor did I make a rule that I wouldn’t date anybody except my husband. It’s just turned out that way. When people ask if I’ve ever been interested in anybody, I want to laugh. If you’ve been around me more than one hour, you probably know I’ve had multiple crushes at multiple times. I’m a girl. I like boys. Enough said.
However, the truth of the matter is, it just hasn’t happened for me. Am I depressed about that? Well, no. Yes, I’m sure the Lord’s holding a bottle of boy cried tears, and lonely tears here and there, but it doesn’t keep me down and out in the mornings. Do I know why it hasn’t happened? If I did, I could maybe tell you why the sky was blue, too.
What’s more clear to me now more than ever is that the Lord, for a reason only He knows, has guarded my heart and emotions from any romantic relationship. From my perspective, they’re just not interested in me. (That was really weird for me to type, but let me help you understand a little further why I say that.)
For instance, in the past year or so about three different people have tried to set me up with one of their single friends. Listen, I’m not against blind dates, nor am I against being set up. It’s been people that I trust and know and they know me, so why not? I’ve learned that sometimes your friends know more what you need than you do. Most times I knew information had been exchanged, as I would wait for that potentially awkward phone call and two times, the set-ups even landed me a date. But what came of it? Nothing.
If I said I wasn’t a little disappointed after that I’d be lying. Of course I was a tad upset, I’m human and I’m a girl. But it didn’t break me. The last thing I want to do is run some guy ragged myself just so he’ll ask me on a date. No ma’am.
Do you see the pattern? They’re just not interested.
I don’t tell you this to gain any sympathy or to even have a pity party. I’m so over pity parties. (Until my next one creeps up on me!) What I do want you to know is that those boys not pursuing me is not a reflection of me whatsoever. It’s not because I’m fat, or ugly, or don’t dress cute enough, or am not outgoing enough, or am not godly enough, or whatever reason we girls can come up with. I truly believe it is the Lord protecting my heart.
Although it could be easily labeled as rejection, it’s simply the Lord’s protection. At least that’s how I’ve seen it.
I don’t know why He’s chosen to protect my heart for so long. I do know that it’s His grace in my life. I do know He alone has spared me from many broken hearts. I do know that He is building in me something beautiful. I do know that He is sanctifying me through and through and molding me into the woman I am to be one day to my future husband. However future that may be. I do know that marriage is a legitimate desire of my heart that I believe He’s placed there and that He will be faithful.
I might not be able to testify to the girls about the amazing man the Lord had blessed me with, but I am able to testify about His faithfulness despite my circumstances. He is good.
I know that I have rejected not one date, nor has the Lord ever rejected my heart, my desires, or me. And He won’t reject yours, either.
I loved this post because it is my life as well although I am much older (42) and have never had a date or boyfriend. I’m okay with that. Yes, I’ve wondered why at times, cried at times, been depressed at times but I’ve always known that God was there and had a reason for this. In the jobs I’ve had as a teacher and a librarian, I have had the opportunity to be a part of hundreds of children’s lives which I wouldn’t have been able to do if I had been married with children. I don’t know what God has in store for me in the future when it comes to marriage but I’m okay with whatever He decides. Thank you for sharing, Lindsee, and reminding me of what a blessing being single can be and is.
Thank you, Lindsey, for this transparent and vulnerable post from a young adult woman to young adult women.
Just because I am a not-young-anymore woman, doesn’t mean I don’t remember that conflict and struggle that places male attention on the spectrum of self-esteem and self-worth. God’s plan for me was to date only one man/kiss only one man/marry that one man (21 years ago). Looking back, I know that for me and my sinful nature’s ‘bent’, God protected me from a world of poor choices, sin and God’s-Will-altering decisions.
There is no comfort in the platitude that God is preparing you for that special someone … God’s dream for each of us is bigger than that and He is preparing us for that special life. He is packing it with blessings and fulfillment and joy and divine experiences. It’s when we (as mere mortals) begin attaching that special life to a particular person/place/environment, that we lose sight of the blessings, joy and His Divine Presence all around us.
Press on and continue to say “So long, insecurity!”, daily if you must, so you can stay focused on who you are in Christ. Because, as Lindsey said, He will never reject us!
Lindsee,
Thank you for writing this. You have put words to something many girls have struggled/are struggling/will struggle with. I appreciate your honesty and transparency, and trust that the Lord will continue to be faithful to you. You’re right. He is good.
Lindsee, great post- so many of us “old girls” wish we had not been in such a hurry to allow it to “stick” – a life time with a God chosen partner is what I would advise any young woman-
Marriage is a challenge- so many of us did not make sure our “chosen” one 1. made us feel good when we were with him (lots of like on both sides filled with kindness, FUN and respect) 2. shared lots of common interests and values 3. friend, lover and each complements each other’s individuality – when conflict and disagreements arise there is a way to get through them without shaming or any other abusive behavior
OK, I’m on an “old girl” roll here- you are a blessing and a model to young women and to us!!!! Thank you for your ministry.
You just wrote what was my history & experience with dating prior to about age 27. I thought God’s plan up to that point was singlehood and I adopted it as my plan. His plan and my plan did not match apparently because my first love is now my husband. We were married 14-days after my 30th birthday and it’s been eight years. Blessedly, the season before our wedding, I had completed the 10-week study of Beth’s called “Breaking Free” with some girlfriends. It was the start of a release of old hurts and pains that still were brought into the marriage the first year, but what a blessing to have the Lord on our side!
Lindsee, I can so relate to this post which may be surprising to some as I’m 54.
I can remember a time when I prayed for a “boy” to enter my life. He did and I was happily married for 14 years, but now have been happily “single” since 2000 (insert long story).
My prayer today is so much different when it comes to a “boy” in my life. I find myself asking God to NOT bring me any “boy” unless He has plans for me to remarry. I don’t want to spend the time nor the energy in “dating” around.
Instead, I spent my time seeking Him, His kingdom and His missions and find myself happier than I’ve ever been.
I hope that doesn’t sound jaded or preachy. Don’t mean for it to. Just wanted to relate how my perspective has changed.
These are things I WISH I had considered when marrying:
1. Make the dating process a long one. People may change after first trying to “catch” you.
2. If they don’t treat you with respect, encourgement, caring, and the love of God while dating, they won’t after years of marriage.
3. Each has to put God first and follow His words while dating as if you were married.
4. Stay pure until marriage. It is a special bond that shouldn’t be stolen in a moment of weakness. If they won’t wait on you, you don’t need them!
5. Don’t fall in love with love. Love the one you are with and not just an “idea” of total bliss.
6. Seek and wait on God for direction. Be still and know that He is God and He will let you know what is right for you.
My marriage ended after 37 years of marriage. I finally let go and let God tell me it was ok to divorce in the case of infidelity and abuse (mental abuse counts too). If I had been more God seeking from the beginning, I would not have married “the man of my dreams”. The blessing out of the even abusive marriage – I have two precious grown boys and 4 grandchildren. God is still good in the worst of circumstances.
God bless all of you on your journey. You deserve the best so don’t settle for anything less!
Thank you, Lindsee, for putting words to my circumstances. It’s kind of crazy how similar our stories are, and like you, I am okay. More than okay. I am blessed with a wonderful job, friends and family. And an awesome church family with whom I grow and grow deeper in Christ. If He has a husband for me, praise the Lord. If not, praise the Lord. He alone is enough, and He is so very good.
Wow.
This seriously could have been written by me and I am so glad I read this today. Today I turn 28. Never been in a relationship (not even close) and honestly…I was over the moon that I went on 2 dates with the same guy a couple months ago (the first date was blind). I go to counseling and have been working through this for a while. No shame about that…it’s totally how I process. I don’t think there is anything “wrong” with me. I live life fully and frequently have girls saying they are encouraged by how adventurous I am in life as a single girl going places and doing things. They ask how I do it so bravely and positively (and I say…well you can’t see my head or my heart but I’m glad it looks that way).
But I have come to see I have a problem with taking risk and being vulnerable…that I may be keeping people (not just guys) at an arms length (less chance of getting hurt) and stopping something before they can even have a chance. But all this was done pretty subconsciously until I realized it recently. I would never say no to a date (I’ll go out with anyone one time) but I may have, at times, put up walls or signs that I’m unavailable or unwilling. These are my issues, not yours, I’m just sharing what I’ve learned about myself.
There is no formula. I know that relationships, while potentially amazingly good, are also hard and not fairy-tales. I didn’t know this when I was 18…20 years old.
I spent a while praying this week, being honest with God about how I feel and what I want but also thanking him (naming as many people as I could) for all the people he has given me in my life and all the opportunities I’ve had…(I secretly think my life has been a lot more interesting than some people I know that are married…that’s one kind of adventure, but there are others! To be cliche, the grass alway seems to be greener and I’ve had more than one married friend (happily married) confess they wish they could do the things I’m able to do without a second thought)
Now I’m just rambling but I don’t know anyone else in my circle of friends that is my age and has never been in a relationship! Thanks for sharing and allowing me to respond!
Girl, girl, girl! I hear you loud and clear. I think we all put up a boundary to stay safe at times. I’m certainly guilty of that and I so get it. Thanks for your honest response! Blessings to you!
Michael and I have known each other since junior high (tell your HS girls that!) We dated a year in college and stayed friends after we broke up. We got married when we were 27, 32 years ago. This summer I read what I think is the best book thus far on marriage and relationships: The Meaning of Marriage by Timothy Keller. Appropriate for college age and older, single or married.
Lindsee; This was a post I had been praying for my daughter. She is like in that she loves the Lord but has yet to date. It has started to bother her some and yet she knows that the Lord’s timing is over every area of her life. I will share this with her in the hope that some one close to her age does understand and it’s not just mom talking to her. I so appreciate the protection the Lord has offered you girls. I wish I had guarded my own life a little more. You are princesses of the king and treasures to behold. Thank you for your honesty and your heart.
Wow I sure needed to read this today… I won’t elaborate on my own struggles, but you sharing from your heart really encouraged me to look at things in my life from a different perspective. To see God protecting me from something bad instead of keeping something good from me which is often how it feels. Thank you!
Oh, how I wish I’d been as smart as you!!!!!!!!!!! Not having someone consumed my life, until I met and married my husband. Some days I know it was a mistake, other days I know God knew what I needed. 😀 I never knew, never heard, never THOUGHT that God could and would supply all my needs in a relationship with Him.
Now I know. He is so very, very good!!!!! Thank you for putting this out for people to read. I try to encourage every young woman I know, with the knowledge that God is enough.
Be blessed!!!!
Lindsee, thank you for clearly taking me back to those days in my life. Your perspective is so much more solid than mine was. Even so, God has been faithful even when I moaned over His timing and “why is this taking so long?”
Now I have two daughters of my own. I will be printing out two copies of this blog, one for each of our girls, and putting it into an envelope for when the time comes. Just in case I ever forget again, especially as they enter the teen stage, I want them to have a solid view that God is so good, even when we think His timing is somehow off. Thanks for the reminder that He is protecting us, not somehow witholding a blessing.
Wow! I have a almost 17 year old daughter and
I am going to print this and have her read it.
Well said. Thanks for sharing your heart on this
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This was so timely for me! I’m no longer young and I have been married, but I’ve been divorced for 10 years and have yet to meet anyone I’m interested in. Thank you for being so refreshing and bringing a perspective that I needed to see today. God’s timing is everything, and although I ‘want’ someone who will persue me, who will be the Godly leader of our home, I don’t ‘need’ someone. God is enough, wow, let me say that again, GOD IS ENOUGH! Thank you for your wisdom and for being the Godly woman wants you to be for all those young women who were with you during the study, I am sure that God is using you to touch and mold young lives.
I’m 28 and in the same situation. I’m genuinely happy with my life… but comparison to other singles usually does lead to insecurity, so I found your similar story and trusting outlook in this post really encouraging! Having never been pursued by any man but Jesus gives us a unique perspective and a special intimacy with Him, and I’m grateful for that. And He loves us and know our hearts’ desires and has a unique plan for each of us, so the fact that we don’t fall into the normal timing pattern of the world should never cause us to doubt our worth or value. Thanks for sharing!
Dear Lindsee,
This is one of the most profound testimonies I have ever heard for young women! I am one of the “old girls”, but this kind of information would have been so good for me. Thank you for addressing a situation that many young ladies are struggling with today.
I praise the Lord for your honesty. God has blessed you with true wisdom. Blessings to you.
May God richly bless you for sharing this story of HIS GRACE. Remember: “Delight thyself also in the LORD; and he shall give thee the desires of thine heart.” – Psalms 37:4
Beautifully and authentically written, Lindsee. I couldn’t be happier for you and your healthy mental state. As one whose heart was guarded by God for many, many years, I can personally attest that this is the single greatest earthly gift that God has given to me. My husband and I talk about it frequently, that I had many qualities that would have made me ‘wanted’ by guys, but also MANY qualities that would have made me completely lose myself in them and get hurt – deeply. I believe it was completely God’s protection on me.
I’m so VERY thankful for His wisdom to be showing forth in you. And that you are sharing it/showing it to the girls you work with. Well done, good and faithful servant.
SING IT SIESTA!!!!!!! Could not agree with you more. In my own life, I have felt that need of validation from a boy, a relationship. Somehow I thought what is wrong with me if no one is interested in me and then the ugly head of doubt creeps in my face, mind and heart. Wish I could say that I had had a closer relationship with God, during that part of my life. I would have known the faithful One that pursues me ever day and truly LOVES me. Wasted a lot of my college and grad school day on one boy who I thought I loved and was loved in return, but thankfully I did not marry him, called off the wedding and finally let God do the matchmaking. Oh boy, did He do some awesome matchmaking! I find it glorious that God matched me to a man that I had a crush on through High School, but never dated, we were just friends. We have been married 18 glorious years and have two amazing children. Ruth patiently waited for her Boaz and there is NOTHING wrong with YOU if your Boaz hasn’t shown up yet. Never forget that God has great plans for your life and there is an amazing Boaz out there, if you let God do the matchmaking. (((HUGS)))
I love your post lindsey. Thank you for investing in the lives of young girls and sharing your story. God is so faithful and it is truly amazing to read your post and sense His strength in your words. WOW! Keep pursuing your first love, He will never let you down. Thank you again for sharing!
Have a little de ja vue reading this post…your experience is so similiar to my own. I’m 31, still single, but content to be patient with God’s timing. I’ve learned to be an independent woman and take care of myself; and between the company of great friends & family, and seasonal travel for my job, I have no reason to feel lonely or disappointed with the phase of life I’m in. God is good! He will supply all my needs according to his time table and master plan. And when I see people around me, who rushed into relationships at a young age, experience heartache & disintegrating relationships, I’m very glad that the Lord protected me and provided a different life path.
Hi Lindsee! I was just wondering if you have a Facebook account. . . .
Great points Lindsee!
I agree. Im 33, and I have never had a boyfriend. I’ve had friends want to set me up…the guys did nothing. GOD put on my heart, ‘you are not called to teach them how to date you.’
I do believe firmly he has protected me. I used to (maybe five minutes ago, still working on it) think that if a guy was nice to me, he was interested. I didn’t know how to relate, what a relationship/friendship looked like with a guy. Thoughts of ‘I have a choice,’ or ‘he can be a christian and still not for me,’ became startling revelations.
I also had to get to the point where I see myself as just fine, regardless of a guy.
I feel like we grow up as girls thinking marriage is something you do…but GOD gets you to a point where HE wants the desires of your heart to be his, if he puts that there, then I do not believe he does it in vain. But I do think he will bring opprotunity to heal in ways that might lead to that. In my case I needed the healing. I needed to reach 33 years and be IN CHRIST before I even began to make male friends let alone meet a helpmeet.
GOD is so faithful all of the time. And while it can seem that we are missing out, I believe that we have YAHWEH’S focus on such an important part of our stories, that I can’t help but feel more than special.
Its not going to be just anyone for HIS girls!
Lindsee,
Thanks for writing this! I am in a similar situation although I am older than you. You have such a great perspective! I have this perspective now, but when I was younger I was ashamed and thought God had forgotten me. I am glad you were able to share this with those teenagers. It will help them not to experience shame especially when others question their singleness.
Karen
Dear Lindsee,
I have been asked out by non-believers and therefore have always declined but never asked out by a believer therefore I am in the same boat. I so appreciate your grace filled perspective and will definitely apply it to my own. Thanks for the encouragment sister! I know without a doubt you have been a tremendous blessing to those girls!
Thanks for sharing Lindsee. So many girls need to hear what you shared. I know it will help me in our Youth ministry! People need to hear that “we” Christians dont have it al fiqured out. Love you and your openness! Keep up the good work.
Lindsey…..for such a time as this comes to mind….thank you for being transparent …..this is going to soooooo encourage countless Christian girls who , as you so perfectly put it, God is protecting their hearts! Thanks for letting God use you in a BIG way. I can’t wait for my daughter to read your story.
Loved this, Lindsee!! Thanks for being so open!
Dear Lindsee,
I’m really touched to read how God has given you such wise perspective about dating. I believe with all my heart that He indeed is protecting you and growing you. You are so beautiful (inside and out) and have a gorgeous smile that lights up your entire face.
Thanks for your words of truth! Women need to hear this kind of message. So thankful you were led to share.
Diane
WOW. I seriously just had a revelation!
I’m -*cough 38 *cough cough- and have only had one serious relationship in my life ( and thanks be to God, that it didn’t work out. )
However, I have never thought about how the seeming “rejection” from guys might not actualy be rejection at all, but probably IS God protecting my heart and feelings! That has never crossed my mind before, and I am not sure why.
Looking back on some “rejections” I can honestly see, NOW, that God was protecting my heart. Oh hallelujah!!!! Thanks for posting this Lindsee!!!!!
Yay! I’m not alone! Thanks for sharing everyone… it’s great to hear your experiences and how God is working in all our lives. It can be hard to be on a different path, especially when everyone around you doesn’t understand and judges you wrongly. (No, I’m not gay, friends and family.) Who knows what God has in store for the future… He’s surprised me time and time again with His plans for me (and his sense of humour). He is faithful and loving and that’s all I need to know.
Oh, Lindsee!!
My sincere thanks for this post.
From a young woman not close to marriage, in age but getting closer to her true Lover’s heart.
Hugs,
Ganise
Thank you for sharing! I’ve never posted to a blog before, but here goes. At age 47 people seem shocked that I’ve never been married or had children. The one difference is that my single status has mostly been by choice (I dated two men in the past 8 years for a few months, and both were mistakes). Every man in my personal life (except my step-dad) has been a source of great pain, and the thought of making a life-long commitment terrifies me to death. I own my own home, and am content with my single status. I have a job that lets me express my nurturing side. God is good. Oddly enough, I have Christian friends who seem to have an issue with my single status, even though I do not. One recently emailed me reprimanding me for not attending her church. In the email she states she understands that I don’t really fit in because there is no “natural” place for me since I am single. Another told me that there is no higher calling by God than to be a wife and mother. I respectfully disagree. That may be God’s calling or purpose for some, but it is not for everyone. Being single does not make me or my lifestyle “un-natural”, and I don’t need to be dating or married to feel like a woman or have purpose! I believe God has a purpose, a plan, and a future for each and every one of us, and they are all wonderfully different and individual. I desire God’s best for my life. I’m not going to settle for less and run ahead of His plan just because a few people think all women need to be married/have children to have worth. If God decides to bring a godly, trustworthy man into my life, He will know the perfect time, and my heart will be ready to receive His will. I just need to remain open to His leading. Regardless, He’s still God and worthy of praise! Thank you for sharing your story with young women and sharing with them that they have purpose, worth, and value, with or without a boyfriend, and that they can trust an awesome God with their lives and future.
Sounds pretty familiar! I didn’t plan on my husband being the only person I ever dated. I didn’t plan on him being the only person I ever kissed. I certainly didn’t plan on waiting until I was 31 to get married! But I was content with life, happy in my job, busy with friends. Not to say that I didn’t want to date..but I hadn’t found someone I was interested in…and I hadn’t found someone who was interested in me (except that one guy who enjoyed watching C-Span!). It was worth the long wait for the person who was perfect for me.
So on those days when my three year old is acting very three, and my seven year old thinks I don’t understand…it’s nice to have the fond memories of those carefree years that I took for granted and wish for my life to be different!
God’s faithfulness is so evident and his timing is always perfect.
Lindsee, Though we’ve never met it seems we are kindred spirits. Thank you for so beautifully articulating what has been on my heart for years. Our journeys are very similar though I am a few years older (34). What an added blessing to read in these comments of so many siestas in similar circumstances. Your post is truly a breath of fresh air for me today. Thank you for your transparency. Thank you for being a sister in Christ who is an encourager. Whether my singleness is a short term or long term season my prayer has always been that I would be an example of honor and integrity in that season…that my faith and trust in Christ would be an example to others of the confidence that we can all have in Christ. I admit that there are days when that confidence wavers. This usually occurs when I lend too much importance to the questions or opinions from others about why I’m still single. Without fail when I choose not to dwell on those well-meaning(though sometimes hurtful) questions and opinions from friends/family my confidence remains rock solid in Christ. Keep on keeping on friend. You radiate the beauty of Christ! May our lives glorify God and encourage other women/girls that whether single or married a heart yielded to Him is abundant life!
Lindsee,
How wonderful of you to share this post straight from your heart! As I read your post, and the comments from your sisters in Christ, I was so encouraged. I was encouraged to know that there are so many godly women out there waiting on the Lord and working on becoming the woman that God created them to be. I’m happy because each one of you knows my Savior, but also because we have four sons who are all struggling with finding a godly young woman to date, so it’s great to know that you’re out there. (There doesn’t seem to be an abundance of them in our locale!) While I know that our sons have been saved, I’m not sure that they have grown enough in the Lord yet to be ready to date and marry “the one” that He has for them. So, sisters, keep in mind that it could be that part of why God is having you wait right now may be because He is still working on preparing your future mates to be the husbands that He wants you to have. And, it’s not until both people know who they are in the Lord as individuals that they can come together and learn how to live together for the Lord as a couple successfully.
I so appreciate your willingness to share about your journey with these girls with your personal experience as a part of it. I think you hit on a very real issue that most women face when mentoring teen girls — the matter of being authentic with your own story.
I’ve been mentoring for more than 15 years, and honestly, authenticity is what they want, demand, need, crave, and respond to. Learning how to give it to them is a challenge at times, but I honestly believe that we when seek the Lord for His purposes, He shows us what and when and how to share our hearts with them.
Lindsee, I’d love to share your story on my website, especially to encourage those who are coming by for mentoring training and advice. Would you be willing to offer this post as a guest post?
Feel free to contact me by email or visit http://www.moretobe.com to see what we’re doing in our movement to impact teens, influence moms, and inspire mentors.
Blessings,
Lisa
I am 30 and still single and I came to this same conclusion a couple of years ago. You just wrote it perfectly into words so thank you! It’s so strange to me how God decides who is ready for marriage and who is not. I have been to over 80 weddings the past 7 years. Some of them I knew it was God’s perfect timing and others I left thinking “they are ready and I’m not?” What’s important to remember is that we must continue doing God’s work during this time of singleness. We have so many more opportunities than others to accomplish the Will of God. We cannot let our disappoint with still being single bring us down and prevent us from doing the work God has set aside for us. We are on the enemy’s time when we do. Thank you so much for posting this! It really was perfectly said. I have shared it with everyone, single and married! God bless you in your work Lindsee.
This is so beautiful!
Lindsee,
This is wonderful! I wish someone would have said this to me 25 years ago!
Let’s just say I’m not as young as I used to be 🙂 Actually, I was born the same year as our sweet Beth…just a couple months earlier.
I’ve never been married, never been in a serious relationship..only been on a couple “dates”, if you call going out to lunch after church a date (I do!).
For a long time I’ve wondered why. I’ve spent more.time.than.I.should.have comparing myself to other women who had what I thought I should have. But God always reminds me that I have everything I could possibly need by His provision, plus a whole lot more.
Blessings!
Charlene
Hi Lindsee!
Thank you so much for this blog post!! Reading your words and the comments from everyone else has encouraged me in a way that only the Lord knew I needed. I am 29 and am in a very similar situation. I so want to be married, often feel “behind” compared to all my friends, have to answer the dreaded “why are you still single?” far too often, but at the same time I am amazed at the blessings God has given me during this single time and how He has protected me as well. I am so excited to see what God has in store for you, me and all the other single ladies that have commented on this post. He has the best in store for us! Thank you for your honesty! If I lives in TX we would be instant friends! 🙂
You are an answer to someone’s prayers. As a Mom of four sons who all are praying for Godly wives, I found your life story to be encouraging. I was praying there were young women like you out there. Thank you.
Thanks for sharing. It’s so good to hear this perspective. What I have often shared with teen girls in my life is the great regret and shame I have for throwing myself at every guy possible with some disastrous results. But I can testify that God wiped my slate clean with the blood of the Lamb and brought me an amazing husband – who, BTW, saved himself for his wife, unlike myself! I have 2 technical requests of the LPM team – any way that blogs that show up in our email could identify the author? And could there be paragraph breaks to make reading them easier?
Hi Shanda, thanks for your sweet encouragement! Also, as far as identifying the author in the email, I’m afraid we have no control over that, or the way it comes to you in paragraphs. For some reason, the formatting gets changed. I am so sorry! The best thing to see the author and get the paragraph breaks is just to click on the link and pop on over to the blog. I hope that helps. Blessings!
Wow. What a great post Lindsee. Thank you so much for being open and sharing from the heart. It was definately what I needed to hear. And I know that it was important for the teens that you shared with too-they do get boy crazy don’t they? (Who hasn’t at one point or another?) I’m 36, single, and volunteer with teens. I want to be an example of how God’s love is more than enough for us, and that we have value and purpose in Him. It is nice to know that I’m not alone; you and the other siestas on here have given me encouragement right where I needed it tonight. Thanks ladies!
Karissa
Wonderful post, thanks for writing it! I often remind myself that experience (as in dating experience) is not the best teacher, despite what the world says. In fact, God is the best teacher and we do not give Him the honor He deserves when we act otherwise.
Thank you so much for this amazing testimony. I myself am 34, single and couldn’t be happier. Not that there aren’t days that I don’t feel lonely or sad, but I love being single. I have had the opportunity to do things as a single Christian woman that I would not have been able to do as a married woman. I have had the opportunity to also share my story with younger college age girls and let them know that being single is not the end of your world and you don’t have to wait to start living the life you want because you aren’t in a relationship or married. God is good and faithful and I know that He has someone for you and for me in His time. God bless you!
Thank you Lindsee for sharing these private thoughts. I can count the number of dates on one hand that I had when I was young none of them serious until I met my husband. God does have a plan for your life and if it includes a spouse it will be in His perfect timing. Perhaps He is protecting you until He brings His choice into your life. These are the same words I tell my son who is 29. I hear from him some of the same thoughts you put into words and I forwarded him the link to the blog telling him to read it because I think it would be good for him to identify with what it’s like from the “other side” and maybe it will encourage him as he waits. And since he lives in Houston maybe he ought to look you up! Seriously, just keep seeking the Lord, serving Him, making Him 1st in your life and all the pieces will come together.
Lindsee,
Thank you for being for so vulnerable to share your story. You are an encouragment to the young women you work with and us reading the blog! I, too, have a very similar story but am now in my 40’s. I’ve always been too ashamed to be as transparent about my story and I’ve struggled in many of the ways expressed in the comments. God is good and has good plans for His children! God Bless You! Hang on for His best!!