Good Saturday Morning, wonderful blog community. I’ve thought of you so many times this week and knew that some of you really active ones were wondering where on earth the Mama was. Sabrina told me a few weeks ago that I had a week off coming up and I knew in that moment what I wanted to do with it. I did not take it off but I did stay home each day this week – out here in the country – and gave my full attention to a personal project. I normally still would have blogged at least once but, for the life of me, I could not think of anything to say. I’ve just had a quiet of sorts fall on me. Have you had times like that? Times when a stab of pain was personal enough and stunning enough to somehow cause you to put your hand over your mouth and keep it there a while? Times when you want to scream, “What is going on here? What is this madness? How did this happen??”
If you’re like me, you find it much easier to talk about a storm in its wake. In the middle of it, you’re just trying to hold on tight to the edges of the boat and keep from throwing up while it rocks to and fro. I’m still in it so I’d rather not even speak to it directly and once again ask you to resist conjecture as well. This is such a public format. I don’t want anyone involved in the challenge hurt by any words here. There’s enough hurt. But I want to be able to minister here and serve here and share with you even in the middle of a hard situation. Please let me leave it at that. Staying general invites more people to relate anyway.
One reason I have a quiet come over me in a season like this is the pure length of time that can be involved. Yesterday someone I’m crazy about shot me a very loving text that included, “How is it all going?” and I never answered it because it’s going the same as it went last week. Anybody understand what I’m saying? This dyed in the wool sanguine likes to say, “SO MUCH BETTER!” I don’t like to burden people long term. Oh heck, I don’t like to be burdened long term either. Who does?? In our humanity, we all wear out eventually. But sometimes the fact is, we’re not quite at the point of so much better yet. We will be. Make no mistake. Those of us who are willing to let Jesus minister to us in the deepest parts of our souls and knead the crushed grain of brokenness into break will indeed be so much better. It’s just a matter of time. Satan will indeed be defeated. And God will make sure he’s sorry.
I decided I had the words to write to you this morning – not because I felt talky all the sudden but – because Charles Spurgeon supplied them to me. They landed on a sore spot in my soul and brought some comfort and insight. I thought I’d just share the whole thing with you then make a closing comment or two. From Morning and Evening, today’s date…
“Cast thy burden upon the Lord, and he shall sustain thee.”
— Psalm 55:22
Care, even though exercised upon legitimate objects, if carried to excess, has in it the nature of sin. The precept to avoid anxious care is earnestly inculcated by our Saviour, again and again; it is reiterated by the apostles; and it is one which cannot be neglected without involving transgression: for the very essence of anxious care is the imagining that we are wiser than God, and the thrusting ourselves into his place to do for him that which he has undertaken to do for us. We attempt to think of that which we fancy he will forget; we labour to take upon ourselves our weary burden, as if he were unable or unwilling to take it for us. Now this disobedience to his plain precept, this unbelief in his Word, this presumption in intruding upon his province, is all sinful. Yet more than this, anxious care often leads to acts of sin. He who cannot calmly leave his affairs in God’s hand, but will carry his own burden, is very likely to be tempted to use wrong means to help himself. This sin leads to a forsaking of God as our counsellor, and resorting instead to human wisdom. This is going to the “broken cistern” instead of to the “fountain;” a sin which was laid against Israel of old. Anxiety makes us doubt God’s lovingkindness, and thus our love to him grows cold; we feel mistrust, and thus grieve the Spirit of God, so that our prayers become hindered, our consistent example marred, and our life one of self-seeking. Thus want of confidence in God leads us to wander far from him; but if through simple faith in his promise, we cast each burden as it comes upon him, and are “careful for nothing” because he undertakes to care for us, it will keep us close to him, and strengthen us against much temptation. “Thou wilt keep him in perfect peace whose mind is stayed on thee, because he trusteth in thee.”
Spurgeon, C. H. (2006). Morning and evening : Daily readings (Complete and unabridged; New modern edition.). Peabody, MA: Hendrickson Publishers.
I think I’ve told you before that I like to do my early morning reading out of a different translation than the one I use the rest of the time. Different wording often has a way of stirring up a different response in me. So, a couple of translations sit on my desk where I have my quiet time. One is always The NET Bible because Melissa gave it to me several years ago and it has (literally) “60,932 Translators’ Notes.” If I’m not presently doing a Bible study in my quiet time like the one I just finished of Kelly Minter’s, then often I’ll open up a devotional reading like Spurgeon’s. Because many of the daily devotionals don’t have longer Bible readings assigned with them, I check the verse they’re using then turn to that chapter in my Bible and read it. (True to form, I’m making this explanation harder than it has to be. I’ll try to cut to the chase.)
SO, this morning I opened up The NET Bible and read a large portion of Psalm 55. When I got to verse 22 – the verse captioned in the Spurgeon devotional –Â I sat tight on the NET translation:
“Throw your burden upon the Lord, and he will sustain you. He will never allow the godly to be upended.”
Maybe you’re visual, too, and right about now you’re picturing throwing. Like hauling off and throwing something as hard as you can. And maybe getting a little frustration and madness out of your soul while you’re at it. Maybe crying while you’re doing it. Even out loud.
Throw.
Before you’re tempted to hold it to your chest and suffocate yourself nearly to death with it.
Throw.
Then something else spoke to me. It was one of those 60, 932 scholars’ notes. The comment footnotes the word “you” at the end of the phrase “Throw your burden upon the Lord and He will sustain you.” I’ll just cut and paste the note from my Bible software so you can see it for yourself.
“The pronoun is singular; the psalmist addresses each member of his audience individually.”
Biblical Studies Press. (2006; 2006). The NET Bible First Edition Notes (Ps 55:22). Biblical Studies Press.
Individually. We EACH have the invitation to throw our burdens upon the Lord and let Him sustain us. Not the “we” of us. The “you” and “me” of us. We also each have the responsibility. In other words, no one can throw our burden on the Lord for us. We can’t call in a relief pitcher. Don’t misunderstand. We can certainly call upon people to pray for us and with us and the New Testament adamantly tells us to carry one another’s burdens (Galatians 6:2) but listen. There is a difference between a burden that is entrusted for us in a season that we are to partner in sharing and carrying. Say, for instance, a long term illness or thorn in the flesh. But the part of the burden that we are inadvertently – even accidentally – playing God over needs to be THROWN, Girlfriend. The part we’re suffocating under because we’re no longer walking, we’re laying down with it on top of us, needs to be…
Thrown.
When we keep trying to figure out what would fix it, then we try that, and it doesn’t work so we wring our hands and go to the next fix, we need to throw it. We cannot be Savior. We know that because, Lord help us, we cannot even save ourselves.
I so don’t want to be depressing this morning. Forgive me. See? That’s why I’m not as anxious to write while I’m right in the middle of something. But, after this morning’s reading, I don’t feel as depressed about it. I feel a little lighter. A little less weight on my chest. My hope is that you do, too. And if you do, it won’t be this post. It will be Jesus.
Oh, you guys. I love you so much. I care so much. Don’t grow weary. God is working. Jesus IS Savior. HE WILL SAVE.
Oh Beth, how I understand everything you’ve said here. What is this madness?~indeed. I, too, find myself in a season of “wordless~ness”. Unable to really journal or speak to friends much about what has and is happening. I know on the other side of this time, I will be able to process and put words to it in a way that means something. Now, just in the midst of “the thing”, stunned and fearful, I’m on a roller coaster ride. A hundred times a day reminding myself about God’s never ending faithfulness, and still having those dips of Satan trying to take my very sanity and any shred of peace I may have.
Thank you for the word picture of THROWING off the anxiety of trying to be “the fixer”. I’m standing together with you and your family in proclaiming that God IS indeed working, and Jesus IS continually saving us!
I can relate Beth. This last year I was thrown into a place as you have described. God was the only one who felt what I was feeling. He was the only one who met me in those dark moments, minutes and hours when I didn’t want to move an inch. I watched my daughter fall into an eating disorder RIGHT after she turned 18. Because of her age, I could not do anything about it. I wondered what God was doing, why was this happening especially after we had totally submitted to something God was leading us to do as a family (something I sensed was coming after attending your conference in May of 2012..about the “rain”) There were so many days I just kept moving even though in my mind I was “stuck”. God kept nudging me to keep “moving”, to not stop. I was reminded when God told Moses in the old testament several times “get moving” when they were headed to the promise land. So I kept moving and now. six months later…I feel like I’m OK…I got through it and my daughter came through it, and is OK. He took care of her, even when I saw her everyday slipping away from us- mentally and physically. His promise was there….” you keep moving and I will take care of her.” Commit everything you do to the Lord. Psalm 37…
“Trust him, and he will help you.
6 He will make your innocence radiate like the dawn,
and the justice of your cause will shine like the noonday sun.
7 Be still in the presence of the Lord,
and wait patiently for him to act.”
Beth, I will pray for you and your family! I know how the storm can rage but I also know my God can calm the raging within!
Hugs and prayers from the Buckeye State!
You know how God speaks to us in themes? Recently He convicted me to believe. So I started praying that I would believe Him more today than yesterday. Then I had a talk with my dad who I hadn’t seen in a year and He talked to me about a big decision weighing on my heart and told me to “trust Him.” And today. You are inspiring us to throw our burdens on the Lord.
Oh yes. I love when God speaks to me in themes because sometimes it’s the only way the point will get across to me,
Okay. Lord. I’m very good at trying to anxiously care for things myself. It’s time to leave and trust them in your very capable and loving hands. 🙂
O Beth, you are in my prayers girl! I sense your heart and remember what you taught us about being “between the rains”. I know you know all that but just thought about it as I was reading your blog entry. Take and remember the Holy Spirit has it all under control!!
Much love,
Dee Dee
Thanks, Beth. I know I have a tendency to withdraw during the hard times because I don’t want to burden other people. And I hate the “I’m fine” lie with which I answer every “How are you?” greeting. I know no one wants the truth. And I know they’ll just feel worse if I give it. And part of me likes to wallow, I admit. How sick is that? I also know my withdrawal can lead to isolation and Satan really has a grand old time with me there. So it’s a desperate struggle between hiding and faking it. Standing silent in the prayer circle as requests are voiced. Not wanting to explain. Not wanting to feel the judgment – real or imagined. How do you let go and let God all by yourself?
Dear Miss Beth – I can’t believe I didn’t know that you had a blog! God has used your studies many times to minister to me and open my eyes to His truth. Thank you so much for your faithfulness to Him and His goodness. Maybe someday in heaven God will let you meet all those who have been blessed by your sharing.
I love what you have to say in this post – I’m very visual, too, and the “throwing” of my cares onto my Savior was a very physical picture for me.
I also loved the part about Him not letting the godly be upended – immediately I thought of Weeble People (“Weebles wobble but they don’t fall down!”), those egg-shaped toy people, weighted on the bottom so that they can rock back and forth but you just can’t upend them!!
God is my “weight”, He is the one who grounds me so that I cannot be upended. I might get knocked pretty low, but He always lifts me up again.
Whatever your challenge is just now, may you be rooted and grounded in His love, and that He would strengthen you with power through His Spirit in your inner being! (Eph 3:17)
And speaking of 3:17’s, remember that the Lord your God is with you, the Mighty Warrior who saves. I believe He takes great delight in you, Miss Beth, and rejoices over you with singing!
God bless you richly!
Thank you so much for sharing!!! I am also going through a time of God saying, “Do you really trust me?” and me saying, “Yes…AH I’m so scared…Yes….but what happens if…yes…” and so on. I’ve been reading in Romans and God really impressed upon my heart these words from 4:20-21 originally describing Abraham,
“Yet he did not waver through unbelief regarding the promise of God, but was strengthened in his faith and gave thanks to God, being fully persuaded that God had power to do what He had promised.”
Oh, Lord, let my heart be FULLY persuaded. Please.
Oh, Beth, how I NEEDED this today. Thank you for sharing. Praying for you too.
Beth,
Thank you so much for sharing a word with us today. I remember a few years ago (the first year of memorizing scriptures on the blog),I thought it would be a great idea to see what states and countries were involved. I think the first of the year there were at least six thousand or more that I had read and recorded. I was not prepared for the warfare that I would A few weeks after that I went through one of the darkest periods in my life. A time when making it through each day was a major victory!But out of it came change life, one that
Needed that. Thanks Jesus…
Beth, thank you do much for sharing your thoughts and devotion. I REALLY needed to hear this today. God’s timing is perfect and His grace will sustain. Praying for you, sweet sister.
Beth, thank you so much for being so transparent with us…one of the ways I cast my burden upon the Lord is to take my burden (problem, issue, family member…) to my Shepherd as I picture Him in the green pasture of the 23rd Psalm…I walk my burden hand-in-hand out to the pasture where Jesus is standing, I then place the burden in Jesus’ hand, knowing that He will take care of it…
Since Saturday I have gone back to your blog 5 times and re-read it. Each time I understood the words a little bit different then the last. I filed for divorce 2 weeks ago after a 20 year marriage. I know that all people and words placed in front of me right now have tremendous meaning and direction for instructions directly from God so I am very careful on discerning words that are placed in my care. What I discerned from this blog was meaningful on “CARE”. As I prayed about my own marriage situation it directly has to do with care and I absolutely never looked at Care as a sin in that context. I am glad you shared that with me as I am asking God every single day throughout the day to reveal my sin to me. I know until I have a clean pure heart I cannot ask God to move me forward. So thank you for these words and a different way to look at a sin like Caring To Much. I can feel the pain as I read your blog and you are not alone but as you share ways to look at your pain generically like you put it we can certainly all relate to it in our own life circumstances. Bless you during your pain and keep sharing with us.
Seems to me that you spoke to us in one of your livestreams about this same thing. I know cause it screamed over the noise into my heart and helped me find peace. I pray the same for you and for your family. Love you so much.
Dear Beth,
Thank you for as always an excellent and timely word. I’m sorry to hear your going thru a rough patch, but it’s just part of living isn’t it. As you’ve said so wisely in the past – He know it’s hard to be us! Today I feel so totally fed up with this therapy I am trying to do to recover from childhood trauma. I told God today I am tired of this! It’s frustrating! It’s too hard and it’s taking to long! I want to QUIT! Maybe I just need to start throwing instead…Thanks again for sharing. Be blessed dear sister.
Luke 17:21 NIV
nor will people say, ‘Here it is,’ or ‘There it is,’ because the kingdom of God is in your midst.” We love YOU Beth…..
Thanks, Beth I needed this post. I’ve had 2 different crying spells today about something I’m in the middle of. I’m definitely going to throw it to Jesus and stop trying to fix it myself!
Love and God Bless You
Oh Beth . I was on a silent retreat on the 14 th and you came into my heart . I felt your sadness
And asked God to give you rest and restoration . So know you are loved by your sister community. And people like me are praying for you and interceding even before you type a letter . Summer is a season of warmth .. He will warm your heart soon. Lots of love Cheryl
Hi Beth, the timing of your post is totally a God thing. Thank you so much for sharing your journey with us.
I was thinking about the act of throwing…sometimes when we throw something on God, to God, at God we think we are left empty handed…but the cool thing is He ALWAYS replaces what we have thrown with a gift…the gift of peace, joy, rest, grace, forgiveness; whatever it is that we need in that moment; He is ready to give it!
I would not have survived this last year without knowing He would take everything I threw at/to Him.
Thank you for the encouraging post, praying for you and your family.
Ruined for Him, Joni
A friend pointed me here today, and holy cow. EXACTLY. All of it. Thank you, thank you, thank you.
I just walked out my back door at 11:20pm and looked for something, anything to throw. Spotted a broken pot (how I’ve felt these last few months) and hurled one of the pieces as far as I could.
Oh, Jesus, help me to fix my eyes on you and cast every single care upon you. What a huge, huge, huge relief!!
I think bouts of silence during a storm are a wonderful gift we give ourselves. It means we don’t have to explain, justify, question, answer, etc. It gives us license to just be and to just be still (and know He is God)!
One of my favorite snugly (comforting, go to) verses when I am crossing rough terrain in my life is Isaiah 46:4 (the NIV is my favorite translation of this verse) ”
Even to your old age and gray hairs I am he, I am he who will sustain you. I have made you and I will carry you; I will sustain you and I will rescue you.”
I know the Bible talks a lot about God being a shepherd, but when I read this verse, I always picture Him as a cowboy, rugged, handsome, skilled, riding in with a lantern and lasso, rescuing me from what is trying to kill me. My God always saves the day!
I can’t tell you how comforted I am by your post. I just came out of a storm…and I still can’t believe how crazy it all was.I mean..the storm seemed to follow me everywhere! I couldn’t escape. So many weary nights.. Praise God that He has purposes for our trials…thank you for this blog too-i don’t write often on here but you and the lpm team really helped me during that three month piece of hell. Thank you! Thank you! Will be praying for you!
Perfectly timed. This is what God has been speaking to me. I love when God does that!
God is SOOO good. I was just praying about a painful situation in my life that has caused me…or I guess more rightly I should say I have allowed to cause me bitterness. I prayed to God for peace and was led to look up bitterness in the Bible. Opening my iPad I found this blog and this post. I have never once before been on here. I must have linked from whatever I was reading when I fell asleep last night.
Mr. Spurgeons words couldnot have been more timely nor appropriate. Thank you so much for sharing them . Just another confirmation of how god can use even our pain for His glory and to help others. Thank you so much for sharing.
Sweet sister … this is exactly what I needed to hear today. I, too, feel as though I’m just trying to hold on tight to the edges of the boat and keep from throwing up while it rocks to and fro! In fact, it was so much needed that I’m gonna share your blog on my blog! Thanks so much for being the open and vunerable person that you are … and for being so easy to relate to and trust emotionally. You are a blessing to me in so many ways!!
Thank you for sharing. The outward affliction can be so stinkin distracting. Reminding myself they pale in comparison the the “eternal weight of glory” that awaits me doesn’t take the stings away but as I an conformed and transformed this promise sure makes it worthwhile.
Thank you for being a Siesta Mama to us. I have felt like Joseph (OT) many times over. Returning to a marriage with much hope for a different future and being disillusioned and disappointed beyond belief. Reaching out for encouragement and support from other believers only to be told to basically “suck it up” and be thankful.
Seeing my kids question everything they were taught and not want to go to church or youth group anymore. Wondering why I would be thrown into the pit again. Wondering what difference it ever made to be a stay at home faithful wife and mother. Struggling with chronic illness and pain and trying to work while feeling so burned out emotionally, physically and spiritually.
Your honesty and speaking the truth has ministered to me today. Deepest gratitude.
Beth,I just recently started following this blog…just happened across it one day. This very first one I received notice of on 5/26 I did not read until yesterday 5/29 entitled “Throw Your Burden”…although you’ve probably heard it uncountable times, thank you…I needed to be reminded to “Throw your burden upon the Lord, and he will sustain you. He will never allow the godly to be upended.” The mountain is steep right now…thanks for the stepping stone!
Father, thank you for speaking through Beth and her blog. You know I have a burden to throw. When I throw my cares on you, teach me to throw a rock and NOT a boomerang!
I have a friend that tells me to wrap up my (what ever I’m dealing with at the time) in a cute little baby blanket and hand it to the LORD. There is probably a time and place for that.
I like the visual here.
When I am wrestling with something big, (like Jacob did in Genesis 32) I don’t need to wrap and hand it, I need to THROW IT with all of my might! Throwing prevents me from retrieving. I can hesitate when I hand, but throwing, with all my might. Deal is done.
Thanks Mama. I need to throw. And cry, but throw.
I haven’t been on here in forever… ah, I’ve missed Siestaville!!! The last time I was on here, I was single and just starting my career after college. Now I’m engaged to be married and getting ready to move across the country!
Thank you for sharing even during this difficult season you are currently in. I too am in a very difficult season in my life and like you don’t feel like talking about it because there is nothing new or good to say about it. I really needed to hear this word about THROWING my burdens on the only one who can fix it. I keep trying to fix it on my own and it is not working. I need to look to my Savior and believe and trust in Him and look only to Him to heal and restore. Thank you again for being so open and for sharing. God is using you in a mighty way and I know I need it.
It’s been so long, too… I had to update my gravatar! – Testing to see if the new one works. 🙂
Beth, this is exactly what I needed to hear TODAY!! So throw it I will. It was the way you put it into the simplest of terms. I can picture it too. You are so wonderful at reaching so many women. Wishing you could join us in our study time, you are so able to help us with life application. We love you!!
Ok, I am a bit late reading this, and I don’t usually comment…but I feel ya, Siesta Mama. I’ve been in a similar season myself for longer than I wish, so your words made total sense. Anyway, please know you are being lifted up, and this community of siestas love you. Take care of yourself.
Oh Mama Siesta! I am such a fixer. I have to fix everything…and that in itself is such a burden. My care lately is that my cares are not also my husbands cares. He has his own. Thank you for showing me the wisdom of throwing this burden to God and not to rely on myself to fix it all. Thank you Miss Beth! You will be in my prayers also.
Thank you for this.
(especially the part about not responding to a text message and wanting to be able to report improvement, because really, what kind of an update is “still terrible” or “not better”; we want things to be getting better and the people who love us want things to be getting better; but when things are just plain not better yet, how do we deal with that and communicate that without feeling like a disappointment to the people who love us?)
After 22 years of marriage, my high school sweetheart broke my heart and left me for another woman. I have been throwing it to God everyday, every second, every minute. I am so thankful that he plays catch with me. Oh sweet Jesus, help us all and love us all.
Dear Mercy!
Mine did it to me 5 years ago after 23 yrs of marriage and I’m still throwing it to God, everyday, and if not every second, every hour for sure! May Jesus carry you and love you and pour balm on your soul!
Monica, thank you. I will think of you as I throw.
What a blessing your post was to my weary soul filled
with so much stuff. The emotional storm came and left damage within our family, however reading your post and refreshing that scripture gave me a plan to throw off the burden I am holding onto. Letting go is hard, I trust Jesus to take my burdens today.
Beth thank you for every word of encouragement it is a gift to the heart.
Thank you Beth!
I will share this tonight with the group of ladies working through Stepping Up with me.
We all have something to THROW!
I am blessed by how you share your life with us.
P.S. Can I throw my ex-husband at Him too?! 🙂
This is what I need to know right now… i keep holding onto a hurt that I can’t fix.. a disappointment that can’t be smoothed over… coupled with grieving the death of my dear bible-study sister… it’ hurting and I want to THROW it but it keeps ending up bound onto my chest like a heavy rock…maybe if I can just push it away, time and time again it will finally go away …
Praying for you Beth as you live through your celestial game of hot potato . . thankfully His hands can hold that “hot” problem and He won’t toss it back to you . . my tendency is almost always to try to grab it back saying “oh no, don’t let that burn (burden) You” as if His scarred hands can really be burned by my hot potatoes and mine won’t be . . .
Thank you for sharing your vulnerability/susceptibility to the temptation to try to “fix it,” whatever “it” is. It may sound weird (and I certainly don’t mean to suggest I’m pleased about you experiencing a time of trouble), but you sharing this is enormously encouraging for me. If someone so grounded in His Word/will is still fighting the self-same temptations to “fix it” as I am, well, maybe, just maybe I’m not out of His range of sight either.
“Be still my soul, the Lord is on your side.
Bear patiently the cross of grief or pain.
Leave to thy God to order and provide,
In everything, He faithful will remain!
….
Oh be still my soul! The waves and winds still know
His voice, who ruled them while He dwelt below.”
Praying for His peace that passes understanding to fill your heart and mind. With much love –
Thank you, Beth. You’ve struck a chord.
I am praying for you. So sorry you are going through a hurt so big it has caused a solemn silence in you. Yes, I am familiar with this kind of pain.. The Lord’s peace be with you night and day.
Thank you for your heart dear sista…aka siesta. Me too and ditto! These seasons we transverse always, always take us toward deeper roots, more flourishing foliage when “the time cometh…”
So, in like fashion, Father spoke to me, “be still, Sharoni” …..
“Fear not; stand still ~ firm, confident, undismayed ~ and see the salvation of the LORD which He will work for you today. For the ‘Egyptians’ you have seen today you shall never see again. For the LORD will fight for you, and you shall hold your peace & remain at rest.”
Exodus14:13-14 Amplified
And this is not just a one time “be still-er” …. it is a constant almost daily reminder. So when people ask how I am, my response (yep, a fellow Sanguine) is always “peachy!” …. because it’s true. There may be a bruise on that peach, but bruises are sweet too. 🙂
Hugs!
Sharoni
This was such a great read after putting my kids back to bed (again) during last night’s storms. I know there are a few things I’ve been holding too tightly to and need to throw to Jesus.
As I lied in my bed, listening to the pounding rain, I couldn’t help but imagine myself throwing my cares to the Lord, like a little girl playing catch with her Daddy. Some I threw with full force- like an all star pitcher- right into Jesus’ powerful, loving arms. Others, it seemed, were harder to throw. Perhaps because I had been so worn down by them and couldn’t find my strength, or maybe because in my heart of hearts I was still to scared to let them go.
I pictured myself much like my almost 2 yr old son, winding up for the pitch, then flinging my arm with all of my might, only to have the ball drop straight to my feet or (more often than not) completely behind me. I was met with frustration as I looked to my feet, exhausted by my efforts; or with an illusion of joy, followed by confusion as I realized I had not, in fact, thrown the ball of my burdens. I had merely flung it, letting it land in my past, only to be tripped upon during another part of my journey.
As I prayed, I heard God lovingly speaking about a pitcher. He starts out just like every other two year old, throwing the ball behind him or off into the bushes. His dad joyfully fetches the ball every time and gives his son another chance. Eventually, the boy becomes more accurate in his throws. He builds strength and skill. As he trains, he learns from his mistakes and his successes. He learns to look into his catcher’s eyes rather than at his glove. They build a relationship through the process, even coming up with non-verbal cues that, though subtle to some, communicate pages and pages of information.
I was encouraged to realize that although I feel like that little two year old most days, my Heavenly Father is FAITHFUL to fetch those foul balls, give me another chance, and encourage me along. As I toss and fling and lob the ball of my burdens at Him, He is training me- ever so gently, but with such intentionality. all I have to do is trust Him- to look into His eyes and stay on the field. If I give in to frustration and turn in my glove, I will inevitably walk around with the weight of the world on my shoulders- a weight I was never intended to carry.
Thank you for posting- I will be chewing on this for a few days:)
I throw it. I chase after it. I throw it. I chase after it. I throw it. I…. He takes it. Praise be HIS NAME!
Beth,
I had a day while on vacation that I could not get you off my mind, so I just held you up in prayer all day. You are such a great person and my heart just breaks for you and what you are going through. God will pull you through and give you just the right amount of strength you need.
I needed this post myself, I have a situation going on in my life that has my heart so broken that I don’t even know how to pray for it. I needed the words from the above post…
“SOMETHING IS NOT A STUMBLING BLOCK IF YOU SEE IT COMING..”
I am going to have to expect a person in my life to be a certain way and not have to high a hope or much expectation from them. I hope that is not wrong. That way it is not a stumbling block for me. I love that phrase. I need to be honest with myself. My husband told me my spirit was broken and I think he is right.
I will keep praying for you and I know God has a plan…
Love you so much
Kathleen