Throw Your Burden

Good Saturday Morning, wonderful blog community. I’ve thought of you so many times this week and knew that some of you really active ones were wondering where on earth the Mama was. Sabrina told me a few weeks ago that I had a week off coming up and I knew in that moment what I wanted to do with it. I did not take it off but I did stay home each day this week – out here in the country – and gave my full attention to a personal project. I normally still would have blogged at least once but, for the life of me, I could not think of anything to say. I’ve just had a quiet of sorts fall on me. Have you had times like that? Times when a stab of pain was personal enough and stunning enough to somehow cause you to put your hand over your mouth and keep it there a while? Times when you want to scream, “What is going on here? What is this madness? How did this happen??”

If you’re like me, you find it much easier to talk about a storm in its wake. In the middle of it, you’re just trying to hold on tight to the edges of the boat and keep from throwing up while it rocks to and fro. I’m still in it so I’d rather not even speak to it directly and once again ask you to resist conjecture as well. This is such a public format. I don’t want anyone involved in the challenge hurt by any words here. There’s enough hurt. But I want to be able to minister here and serve here and share with you even in the middle of a hard situation. Please let me leave it at that. Staying general invites more people to relate anyway.

One reason I have a quiet come over me in a season like this is the pure length of time that can be involved. Yesterday someone I’m crazy about shot me a very loving text that included, “How is it all going?” and I never answered it because it’s going the same as it went last week. Anybody understand what I’m saying? This dyed in the wool sanguine likes to say, “SO MUCH BETTER!” I don’t like to burden people long term. Oh heck, I don’t like to be burdened long term either. Who does?? In our humanity, we all wear out eventually. But sometimes the fact is, we’re not quite at the point of so much better yet. We will be. Make no mistake. Those of us who are willing to let Jesus minister to us in the deepest parts of our souls and knead the crushed grain of brokenness into break will indeed be so much better. It’s just a matter of time. Satan will indeed be defeated. And God will make sure he’s sorry.

I decided I had the words to write to you this morning – not because I felt talky all the sudden but – because Charles Spurgeon supplied them to me. They landed on a sore spot in my soul and brought some comfort and insight. I thought I’d just share the whole thing with you then make a closing comment or two. From Morning and Evening, today’s date…

 

“Cast thy burden upon the Lord, and he shall sustain thee.”
— Psalm 55:22

Care, even though exercised upon legitimate objects, if carried to excess, has in it the nature of sin. The precept to avoid anxious care is earnestly inculcated by our Saviour, again and again; it is reiterated by the apostles; and it is one which cannot be neglected without involving transgression: for the very essence of anxious care is the imagining that we are wiser than God, and the thrusting ourselves into his place to do for him that which he has undertaken to do for us. We attempt to think of that which we fancy he will forget; we labour to take upon ourselves our weary burden, as if he were unable or unwilling to take it for us. Now this disobedience to his plain precept, this unbelief in his Word, this presumption in intruding upon his province, is all sinful. Yet more than this, anxious care often leads to acts of sin. He who cannot calmly leave his affairs in God’s hand, but will carry his own burden, is very likely to be tempted to use wrong means to help himself. This sin leads to a forsaking of God as our counsellor, and resorting instead to human wisdom. This is going to the “broken cistern” instead of to the “fountain;” a sin which was laid against Israel of old. Anxiety makes us doubt God’s lovingkindness, and thus our love to him grows cold; we feel mistrust, and thus grieve the Spirit of God, so that our prayers become hindered, our consistent example marred, and our life one of self-seeking. Thus want of confidence in God leads us to wander far from him; but if through simple faith in his promise, we cast each burden as it comes upon him, and are “careful for nothing” because he undertakes to care for us, it will keep us close to him, and strengthen us against much temptation. “Thou wilt keep him in perfect peace whose mind is stayed on thee, because he trusteth in thee.”

Spurgeon, C. H. (2006). Morning and evening : Daily readings (Complete and unabridged; New modern edition.). Peabody, MA: Hendrickson Publishers.

 

I think I’ve told you before that I like to do my early morning reading out of a different translation than the one I use the rest of the time. Different wording often has a way of stirring up a different response in me. So, a couple of translations sit on my desk where I have my quiet time. One is always The NET Bible because Melissa gave it to me several years ago and it has (literally) “60,932 Translators’ Notes.” If I’m not presently doing a Bible study in my quiet time like the one I just finished of Kelly Minter’s, then often I’ll open up a devotional reading like Spurgeon’s. Because many of the daily devotionals don’t have longer Bible readings assigned with them, I check the verse they’re using then turn to that chapter in my Bible and read it. (True to form, I’m making this explanation harder than it has to be. I’ll try to cut to the chase.)

SO, this morning I opened up The NET Bible and read a large portion of Psalm 55. When I got to verse 22 – the verse captioned in the Spurgeon devotional –  I sat tight on the NET translation:

“Throw your burden upon the Lord, and he will sustain you. He will never allow the godly to be upended.”

Maybe you’re visual, too, and right about now you’re picturing throwing. Like hauling off and throwing something as hard as you can. And maybe getting a little frustration and madness out of your soul while you’re at it. Maybe crying while you’re doing it. Even out loud.

Throw.

Before you’re tempted to hold it to your chest and suffocate yourself nearly to death with it.

Throw.

Then something else spoke to me. It was one of those 60, 932 scholars’ notes. The comment footnotes the word “you” at the end of the phrase “Throw your burden upon the Lord and He will sustain you.” I’ll just cut and paste the note from my Bible software so you can see it for yourself.

“The pronoun is singular; the psalmist addresses each member of his audience individually.”

Biblical Studies Press. (2006; 2006). The NET Bible First Edition Notes (Ps 55:22). Biblical Studies Press.

Individually. We EACH have the invitation to throw our burdens upon the Lord and let Him sustain us. Not the “we” of us. The “you” and “me” of us. We also each have the responsibility. In other words, no one can throw our burden on the Lord for us. We can’t call in a relief pitcher. Don’t misunderstand. We can certainly call upon people to pray for us and with us and the New Testament adamantly tells us to carry one another’s burdens (Galatians 6:2) but listen. There is a difference between a burden that is entrusted for us in a season that we are to partner in sharing and carrying. Say, for instance, a long term illness or thorn in the flesh. But the part of the burden that we are inadvertently – even accidentally – playing God over needs to be THROWN, Girlfriend. The part we’re suffocating under because we’re no longer walking, we’re laying down with it on top of us, needs to be…

Thrown.

When we keep trying to figure out what would fix it, then we try that, and it doesn’t work so we wring our hands and go to the next fix, we need to throw it. We cannot be Savior. We know that because, Lord help us, we cannot even save ourselves.

I so don’t want to be depressing this morning. Forgive me. See? That’s why I’m not as anxious to write while I’m right in the middle of something. But, after this morning’s reading, I don’t feel as depressed about it. I feel a little lighter. A little less weight on my chest. My hope is that you do, too. And if you do, it won’t be this post. It will be Jesus.

Oh, you guys. I love you so much. I care so much. Don’t grow weary. God is working. Jesus IS Savior. HE WILL SAVE.

 

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477 Responses to “Throw Your Burden”

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Comments:

  1. 151
    Lynda says:

    Thank you for this timely word, Beth. Like you, I don’t feel free (nor would it be edifying) to share details of the burden I’ve been carrying. God spoke to me through your and Spurgeon’s words. You were listening to the Holy Spirit when you were prompted to write this, for sure!

  2. 152
    Caitlin Irene says:

    Aaahh..there you are, Mama. I hear ya loud and clear. Thank you for this encouragement today. Oh and by the way, You are so loved.

  3. 153
    Jane says:

    Beth, my heart goes out to you. I am comforted by the thought that you have so many who love you and will be there for you when you are ready. Please know that the prayers of “your girls” all over the world are being poured out for you. For some reason, God is preparing you for something else. And so, throw those burdens on Him – the one who loves you so. With sincere thanksgiving that God has made you who you are and with love, my sweet sister.

  4. 154
    mimi tinsley says:

    Beth,
    Just received word our 16 year old daughters friend lost her mother in a moles accident . Then your post arrived in my email. I’m cover your mouth speechless and hear our daughter on the phone trying to comfort her friend. I don’t know why these things happen, sadness overtakes my heart. But I can throw these feelings to God and it cleared my heart to offer thanks to God for our daughter to be able to offer pure love in Gods holy name to her friend. I ask for prayers from our siestas for the family and her daughter Amber. Beth, to see Gods light in the storm is our path. I love you friend of the heart.
    Mimi

  5. 155
    NikkiBriggs says:

    Thank you for sharing Beth. My mom, my prayer partner, and I adore you and have learned so much from you. My mom and I have fought a battle and have been weathering a storm regarding a beloved family member for about 19 years and I so often say “God is working” the end of our texts. We were so blessed by reading this blog today. Thank you!

  6. 156
    Hayley says:

    I would love to throw this burden … I leave for Africa on Monday to help a church plant. I am going with my husband and 7 others, and I know it will be amazing. But I have 3 kids, 8,7, and 3, and I adore them. And their summer just started. And it’s 2 weeks away from them. And I know getting to the plane will be the roughest part, and then it will all be fine. Going to Africa is not the burden, just having my family in 3 different places. Would so appreciate prayers for everyone’s safe travels.

  7. 157
    Anne says:

    Thanks.

  8. 158

    Beth, love you so much. Sometimes I drop in here, read a little of your heart and your journey and encouragement and remember how God has used you to minister to a deep area of my life.

    Friday morning, listless of internet, TV, cell phone, that has take away much and yet given so much at the same time, that instead of popping to the email, I sat and quieted myself, finding comfort. I opened the bible and it was Lamentations 5. Quite a sad state of affairs for the Israelites but the scripture that caught my eye, was this: ” We have given the hand to the Egyptians, and to the Assyrians, to be satisfied with bread.” For me, I related and related to what sin does, what it takes away. “Turn thou us unto thee, O Lord, and we shall be turned; renew our days as of old.” vs 21.

  9. 159
    CloeyB says:

    Sigh. My particular worry is about the ministry God has called me to. I struggle with knowing HOW to throw the burden to God without continuing to worry about it. The ministry has put a lot of strain on my family because I’m not good at balancing my ministry life and my family life. I feel alone on an island and my quiet time with God is faltering. When I read this message, I agree 100%. I know God is right here with me. I’m just struggling to keep walking toward the mountain that God has called me to.

  10. 160
    Ashley says:

    This was so needed! I’m in the middle of one of those times. It’s strange because there’s the issue itself, and then the issue that surfaced because of the issue, you know what I mean? Now its become a two-fer.I can’t write about it, can’t put it into words, and wouldn’t have permission, even if I could. I’m constantly trying to fix and figure out both situations, to no avail. I just need to throw it, and let Him do it. Thank you.

  11. 161
    Kim says:

    Praying for you. Thanks for sharing with us during this difficult time in your life.

  12. 162

    Thank you so much Beth for your transparency which encourages us all.

    Thank you for loving us so deeply, that you open your life to us, trusting us in the good times and bad. So that we can be strengthened in the journey.

  13. 163
    LA says:

    Just read your words to one of my dear friends. I am going to write them to you my siesta. (I love that) Beth at this very moment He has His fingers gripped on your chin, saying,”Right here, Child. Look right here. I AM YOUR DELIVERER! There is none like ME! I just know the pit of hurt and what are you doing God can be overwhelming. You are loved and prayed for!!!

  14. 164
    susan says:

    Thank you. The burden is overwhelming. More than my husband’s cancer; more than my son’s cancer. More than my husband’s employer letting him go last week. This latest burden is overwhelming. I threw up last night with this latest blow. No chemo, or radiation, or severance can help this burden. Thank you for posting.

  15. 165
    Crystal says:

    Dear Sister Beth,

    Thank you my dear sweet sister for this. I needed this. I have been going through something for over five years. I am tired. There’s also something else going on that I can’t even articulate. I’m not sure if I know. All I know is that I am exhausted!

    I need to THROW it all off and rest in Jesus. I’ll be praying for you. Life is hard.. Life is unfair. Thank God for Jesus. We know how it turns out.

    Bless you my sisters on this blog!

  16. 166
    LL says:

    Needed to hear this today. Gonna do some throwing.
    My husband was beat up at 8 this morning, over absolutely nothing. What’s worse, the people who worked at the establishment refused to assist him, or even phone 911. No bystanders would help him either.Desperately need healing by Tuesday as we are self employed and have no other employees to work for us. Thanking God it is a holiday weekend. He will sustain.
    Will be praying for you Miss Beth.

  17. 167
    Christina says:

    Love it! THROW it. Like a boy launching water balloons as hard and as fast as he can.Launching my cares off of me and unto Him. LOVE it. Such a beautiful and helpful word picture. Thanks for sharing! It’s helping me already! Seems Post-It worthy to me. THROW it.

  18. 168
    Nordic Girl says:

    Just yesterday I was asking the Lord for a good word, as I felt I needed a good word! As I was reading this post, I couldn’t help but link this topic back to a live streaming video from January, 2012. The topic was anxiety and I loved how you, Beth, demonstrated getting down on your knees, and saying submit that big anxiety to Him and throw or cast that big anxiety to Him, over and over if necessary. One point that I wrote down said something like not being the bullseye that says here I am hit me. Both posts were exactly the word I needed.

  19. 169
    Emily says:

    Thanks, Beth. I needed this today.

  20. 170
    Judy says:

    It is 3:32am and I am on the computer due to a painful burden that is making me unable to sleep. My thoughts were a question to myself “have you ever had a burden so painful that you are unable to share?” That is where I am this morning. I decided to open my email before I tried to get some sleep before my long day ahead and clicked on your blog.Your thoughts and words meant so much to me this morning. Thank you!

  21. 171
    Charity says:

    I read this post last night, thought about it all night…now I wanted to leave a comment to say thank you and I am praying for your family. The only livestream I’ve been able to tune into was a few months ago when you talked about duck and throw- casting our anxiety on Him. Oh how I needed to hear that in my own battle with anxiety. I love you. Hugs from Wales.

  22. 172
    Stacy says:

    Beth
    thanks for sharing that so much. As I read this morning, it was so much I needed to hear. My husband and I and son are in this place where we have to wait on our Heavenly father. It is hard. But we are trusting Him. Lots of crying. But I guess it is good.
    Thanks for being honest.

  23. 173
    Cheryl Hinerman says:

    May the peace of God rule and reign in your heart. You are dearly loved!

  24. 174
    Sara says:

    Thank you, Beth! This was very timely for me. I’m 35 and have had back injuries since I was 16. I had my first back surgery 4 weeks ago. I’m not recovering like we’d hoped I would and it’s so hard to answer the questions about the pain, because I also want to respond with “so much better”. My friends and family are praying so fervently.

    But I cannot trust in human wisdom right now, the only Healer who can fix me is the One I trust with everything else. So I’m throwing this burden up. And trusting the One who is nothing but kind to me, even when it hurts…literally. Thank you so much for posting this today. I need to give my pitching arm some more practice! Praying for you, too!

  25. 175
    Colleen Hummer says:

    Beth, Thank you so much for this blog as I so needed to hear the words you wrote. This has been one of the hardest weeks I’ve had in a long time, an emotional roller coaster kind of week. I needed to hear that I have to Throw my burdens on Him. I’ve been giving them to Him, but I havn’t completely let go and Thrown them yet. You’re right as long as I hold on to them in the least little way, I’m still trying to handle them myself. Thank you, I’ve got some Throwing I need to get done. I hope and pray that your days will be brighter in the following week as well. Love you and your words, always an inspiration and an eye opener.

  26. 176
    Karen says:

    Beth, just know we lift you up in prayer as you do us. Thank you for your honesty and love. May you have a beautiful day and know that God is in control. Love you for guiding me and leading me to our awsome God!!!

  27. 177
    Tracey Knight says:

    i love you for keeping it real, beth. thanks for this desperately needed word. love you much~

  28. 178
    Michelle says:

    Thank you for sharing Beth, This is timely for many others as well. What an awesome God we have. You have no idea how much I appreciate what you share – not because I want to know your business – but because you remind us of how human you are. You remind us that this world is painful and unfair and it just hurts. But you also remind us that God is faithful, He is in control and this world is not the end. You are loved Beth and prayed for. Thank you for your keeping it real for us.

  29. 179
    Jennifer says:

    Thank you for the visual this morning Beth, oh how I needed that! THROW my burdens? I’m picturing myself as a quarterback ready to throw the ball with all my might for the touchdown! How wonderful that our God tells us to to do this with the heavy burdens that weigh us down and keep us from abiding fully in Him. Thank you for the inspiration and know that I am praying for you dear sister! Thank you for invading my quiet time with your quiet time….isn’t it wonderful how the Lord works?!

  30. 180
    Elizabeth says:

    Thank you Beth,
    I am going through something as well right now. Its not that I don’t want to be honest and share about it, but it is so raw. I can relate to yearning to be able to tell others how its all better now.

    Throwing is what I need to do as well. Thank you for sharing. I pray that your struggle is lightened soon.

    Elizabeth

  31. 181
    Robbie Jo says:

    Im so lonely and yet I have family all around me. My children are home from college(that alone should make me happy). I’m tired, don’t even want to pray. Or study. Yet I know the answer is in his word. So I pray I want to! I want to be the happy, bubbling mother, wife. Im tired of pretending. I’m lonely. Maybe I just need to cry! I’ve never answered a blog. Hmm maybe he is working in me. Thank you Beth. What a journey

  32. 182
    Candace says:

    Precious Beth, will be praying for you in the midst of this season. We too have experienced such upheavel in our family this winter, having no less than 4 family crisis going on at once! I feel like my reality has shifted some days, but God is faithful, and I am WATCHING to see what He does. Will cover you in prayer while you join us here in Colorado Springs. Candace

  33. 183
    debbie.can says:

    Hi Beth.

    On the norm I dont go on the computer on Sundays. Am unable to get to Church this morning, and before I settle in for my devotion time,I thought I would print a few things off that I need for an assignment, then I was headed to my quiet place to spend with God.
    My heart was breaking as I read you blog and yet at the same time I felt so blessed. is that possible well possible or not my heart was feeling both.
    First know that I will be praying for you as you walk through what you are walking through. I can so relate as my hubby and I are right in the middle of a trial/test how ever you want to say it. We have been here now going on through it in year 2. My hubby is very depressed and feeling like a failure as in provideing for his family do to cuts a work, we have made many cuts within our own life just to be able to put food on the table and many weeks we dont even have that. Guess what we do eat, Yea God. And we have had help from the most unually places. We have been hurt by a decision our church made that just broke our hearts leading us to be churchless at the moment and yet as we have tired different churches, God is takeing us way out of our comfort zone. We are being stretched right now in our faith and as a couple. If not for keeping our eyes on Jesus, I dont think we would of made it this far with all the stress of it and yes very hard some days, that one or both of us just want to say forget it. We do feel we are at the end as far as our emotions are and feel we just cant do this anymore. There are many times I ended up in prayer and pititioning God.
    Ok Im writing a book here when all I wanted to say was to let you know I am praying for you.
    God Bless
    debbie.can

  34. 184
    Barbara Head says:

    After reading the blog, I began to narrate in my head what I wanted to say. This post was so significant in my life right now. We all have what I call “generational sins” in our lives. “Worry” happens to be one of mine. I am striving to hand things I cannot “fix” or “change” over to God. It is difficult but not impossible. I am of an advancing age now and I have several people in my life that I could continuously “worry” over BUT I choose today to REST IN THE LORD. Thank you, my darling Beth, for these oh so comforting words.

  35. 185
    Susie says:

    “I don’t want anyone involved in the challenge hurt by any words here. There’s enough hurt. But I want to be able to minister here and serve here and share with you even in the middle of a hard situation.”

    If I could apply this beautiful wisdom to my parenting while I’m in the throws–then AMEN–it’s more than worth the try! Time for a game of catch between my and God.

    Thanks Beth

  36. 186
    Sue says:

    Oh sister,
    you always seem to speak to me…but today more than ever…i too am in the middle of a hurricane…i so understand the need for silence…i haven’t really left my house for almost a week also…GOD is just so good…HIS words came through you…i didn’t really understand the sin of my hanging on and wringing my hands and questioning and sinful worrying…thank GOD HE had the patience to try again and speak to me through you…
    sue

  37. 187
    Carol says:

    Beth
    Thank you so much for your post. I so needed to hear that. There has been a problem in my relationship with the Lord and I could not figure out what was wrong. I have been trying to fix it. When I read your post, I knew that’s the problem. I have a lot of throwing to do. Again, thank you. I will continue to keep you in my prayers. Carol

  38. 188
    Debbie says:

    Thank you so much for this. I’ve had to do a bit of throwing and crying myself lately. Good to know I wasn’t alone…..in more ways than One! It is so hard, so hurtful, but throwing brings His peace.

  39. 189
    JJC says:

    Not depressing at all! For me, what jumped off the page was “but he shall sustain thee.” It’s amazing to me that God can be glorified in us, not just in the wake of the storm, but also in the very midst of it, as he sustains us moment by moment. Thanks for being real and for sharing even when you don’t have it all together.

    I also happened to be reading Spurgeon the other day. He struggled with depression at times, which is very striking to me, considering who he was and all. He said – if I understood him right – that sometimes ministers (and I think this goes for anyone) endure a bit of a lull after God has used them greatly in order to keep them humble and dependent on him. I’m sure it doesn’t always work like this, but sometimes I wonder if our struggles are God’s way of calling us back to childlike dependence on him. It’s really a blessing, because we wouldn’t want it any other way, but most defintely a blessing in disguise, since it’s really not all that pleasant to endure.

    Here’s the quote from Spurgeon, sorry it’s long… but you can blame Spurgeon for that. 🙂

    “The times most favorable to fits of depression, so far as I have experienced, may be summed up in a brief catalog. First among them I must mention the hour of a great success. When at last a long-cherished desire is fulfilled, when God has been glorified greatly by our means and a great triumph achieved, then we are apt to faint.

    It might be imagined that amid special favors our soul would soar to heights of ecstasy and rejoice with joy unspeakable, but it is generally the reverse. The Lord seldom exposes His warriors to the perils of exultation over victory. He knows that few of them can endure such a test and therefore dashes their cup with bitterness.

    See Elias after the fire has fallen from Heaven, after Baal’s priests have been slaughtered and the rain has deluged the barren land! For him no notes of self-complacent music, no strutting like a conqueror in robes of triumph. He flees from Jezebel, and feeling the revulsion of his intense excitement, he prays that he may die. He who must never see death yearns after the rest of the grave.

    Even Caesar, the world’s monarch, in his moments of pain cried like a sick girl. Poor human nature cannot bear such strains as heavenly triumphs bring to it. There must come a reaction. Excess of joy or excitement must be paid for by subsequent depressions.

    While the trial lasts, the strength is equal to the emergency. But when it is over, natural weakness claims the right to show itself.

    Secretly sustained, Jacob can wrestle all night, but he must limp in the morning when the contest is over, lest he boast himself beyond measure.

    Paul may be caught up to the third heaven and hear unspeakable things, but a thorn in the flesh, a messenger of Satan to buffet him, must be the inevitable sequel.

    Men cannot bear unalloyed happiness. Even good men are not yet fit to have “their brows with laurel and with myrtle bound” without enduring secret humiliation to keep them in their proper places.” — Spurgeon

    The entire message is here.
    http://www.gotothebible.com/HTML/downcast.html

  40. 190
    Theresa Donlon says:

    Dear Beth , Dealing with grieving the loss of my 19 year old Daughter who was killed 16 weeks ago on Robert’s Cemetery Road has been one of the mostonumental burdens I have ever experienced . As I was reading your message I could feel the burden you were describing . I can relate so well to a heavy burden . The last few years started a huge time of loss in our family . Almost 4 years ago my Dad went to Heaven 32 days before his physical body died he accepted what Jesus did for him on the cross with myself and Joe Wall in the room and Joe shared the Gospel message with as much respect and as a peer them being of the same age . This was one of the burdens lifted that I would see my Dad again but that my Dad spend an eternity with my Jesus . Dad died in August 2009 . It was off to the races that fall with my Son Andrew playing football for the Tomball Christian Warriors . He was the Center and we enjoyed every minute with his sisters Anne and Elizabeth as Cheerleaders we were having a blast as a family . In October Andrew had a knee injury and was taking ibuprofen ( I’m still going to play no matter what ) a couple of weeks later he was expierancing blood in his stool so off to the Dr and a week later we are in the Hospital Andrew was then diagnosed with Ulcerative Colitis . What a burden to carry for a Freshman in Highschool who just lost his beloved Grandpa . Andrew did not turn around as we had hoped and lost 50 lbs. He went from 190 lbs to 140 .at that point we decided to take him to Texas Childrens . All this time we are praying as were many others for God to direct our path . In March of 2010 Andrew was diagnosed with moderate to severe Chrons Disease and he is mow on meds that can give you cancer ? We were so scared and were asking God to heal Andrew . By the fall Andrew was so sick that football was not going to be on his schedule and he spent 7 days at Texas Childrens Hospital needing 4 units of blood and the Chemo drug wiped out his immune system . We started looking into supplements along with the meds and Andrew is better . Not healed as we had hoped . We know that because this world is not our home and sometimes healing will take place when we go home to see our Jesus . One month after the terrifying experience with Andrew my Mom fell and in the ER that night we were told that she had cancer a through her brain and the top portion of her lung . I just fell to my knees and cried God what do you want from me ? He really wants my whole heart doesn’t He ? as we walked through the next few months of anguish and the physical death of my Mo
    I knew God was there and in my daily bible study was slowly working through all that had happened the last few years . Then the storm hit . The week of February 10 , 2012 I was at my kitchen table ( I live on 5 achers in Hockley ) Tuesday Morning reading from Reflecting Him Binle Study that God knows all the days that will be ordained for us even before we were formed in the womb . Keep in mind this was the first morning in a long time I felt very close to God and was so excited that I felt as I did before ( excited about the day and what He was teaching me ) my spunk was back ! I had stayed in Hods word but felt like I was in a desert for the last 11 months just working through all that had happened in such a short period of time . At one point in my car Aline I told God my life is yours and I trust you and I still believe this with all my heart . February 10 my Daughter had a friend spend the night and Anne had to take her home and pick up a few things at the store for our first Father Daughter banquet at Magnolia Bible Church . Anne was killed that day on Roberts Cemetery Road along with her friend Katie Walker . it’s been 4 months since one of my five beloved Children went home . This is by far the hardest thing I have ever gone through but I can tell you this as I pour my heart out to my Savior He is there and I am learning do much from Him . Reading Holding On To Hope , one year of Hope , 50 Days of Heaven , when your family has lost a loved one and my precious Bible . God really comforts and He really is there in a million ways even when people avoid me because they don’t know what to say to me . ( that hurts so much ) I have the most loving brothers and Sisters at my Church and a Pastor who truly is a Shepherd to his flock . These are all gifts that God has given to me . This burden sometimes is overwhelming . The storm we are in holding onto the sides of the boat I get this when I have to fave going to the Verizon Store in Tomball and start crying when I am trying to tell the poor young man I dont want to loose her voice on this phone how do I do that ? And my youngest daughter putting her arm around my neck to let me know its ok . I live Gid and trust God because He loves me and trusts me to keep my eyes on him with this storm raging around me . I accepted what Jesus did for me on the Cross nearly 31 years ago but have grown the most since Beloved Descilpe down at Fbc with you . Beth Moore thank you for opening up God’s Word to me in such an exciting and real way . I love you and am praying for you my dear sister . Many Blessings Theresa Donlon

    • 190.1
      Theresa Donlon says:

      So sorry I did not read before I posted . I love my smart phone but it can’t figure put what Keys I miss when I am typing with my thumb . Forgive me for all the type o’s . ; )

  41. 191
    Kathryn Brown says:

    Having just attended ‘Girlsie’ LPL a reminder . “Anxiety makes us doubt God’s lovingkindness, and thus our love to him grows cold; we feel mistrust, and thus grieve the Spirit of God, so that our prayers become hindered, our consistent example marred, and our life one of self-seeking. ” Anxiety hinders my prayers! And we are to throw off every thing that hinders.

    Thank you for sharing, Beth. This walk is such a daily thing. We are going up to our final reward. We keep walking in truth and we will win!. You are lifted to the throne of mercy expecting God to answer in an “exceedingly abundant way.”

    Teach on Mama

    Kathryn

  42. 192
    Laura says:

    Beth love, can I call you that – you are like a sister to me. What a blessing we can be in our humble admission of pain and circumstance. I’m so glad you were silent. And then so glad you felt compelled to write. I am printing this blog post and keeping it in my file for future reference. I want to share it with my ladies at church.

  43. 193
    Richelle says:

    Thank you.

  44. 194
    Connie G says:

    It is good to just have some down time and a fresh perspective sometimes, before jumping back in with both feet. For us it was camping in a trailer right on the shores of Lake Huron, spending time with friends in the area who are struggling and with each other. I hope you found some peace in your time with your family. Prayers said that you can help those involved to give the situation to God and find the peace of knowing he has it covered.

  45. 195
    lisa rogers says:

    Beth,

    I just want to praise Jesus for the quiet! In every season, there is a reason and I think that when we look upon the word; we always find our answer. May God bless you in your time of personal struggle. He will work it out if you continue to cast your cares on Him. For He is in every situation, working out the details for His glory, all we have to do is sit back and watch Him work! Remember, even the faithful women of this generation will be tested, continue the fight my sister!

    Lisa

  46. 196
    Louise says:

    I needed this one today!

  47. 197
    Dd says:

    Throw! Your words echo His and lift our hearts. Always inspiring. I remember trying to lay my burdens down at at the foot of the cross and wanting to kick some of those things after I laid them down. Throw! Same idea, less likely to injure another!

  48. 198
    Barsha says:

    Dear Beth, As a fellow sister in Christ, I know how you feel, I have a very disfunctional extended family. You name it and it is there. Not only that but every woman in the study I lead is going through something. Top it off I do Hospice care which can be very emotionally draining. All to say, as you well know God is refining us, removing the dross and making us into the women He wants us to become. I can not say I am sorry, you are going through this trial, for it is God at work in you for His will and His good pleasure. I can remind you that you are loved with an everlasting love. That can never be out done. Praying our Precious Lord will use this experience for His Glory and Amen Love you in Christ

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    Katie says:

    Beth
    Your words are so true! Thank you for being willing to share in the midst of your pain. You don’t always have to be the “happy” one! The truth is, so many things in life are HARD and we hurt over them. The good news is, we have someone to throw our burdens to. When I went through a particularly distressing season of my life, when I felt that horrible knot of worry and dread right in the middle of my stomach, I would picture myself throwing the burden like a basektball right from my gut and into the arms of Jesus. It really worked!

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    Teresa O'Leary says:

    Beth, Thank you so much for choosing to share this even inthe middle of your own difficulties. It was EXACTLY what I needed to hear this morning. Teresa

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