I am just beside myself about something. The LifeWay event team (in charge of all the Living Proof Lives, Going Beyonds, Abundance events, etc) thought up such fun ideas for the booklet that participants will get at the LPL Simulcast on September 15, 2012. One of them involves you. They want to hear testimonies from you about how you are living proof that God’s Word is alive and active and that His Son redeems. (This is not meant to have anything to do with me or with this ministry. It’s about YOUR own personal story with Jesus.) They are going to go through each one of them, find a great cross section of testimonies, select 5 stories and add them to the booklet for the whole simulcast community to read! And, that, Sister, will be a batch of women from all over the place. Â
Here’s what you do: In a comment to this post, write a 200-250 word testimony about how God has accomplished a work in you or through you that leaves no other viable explanation (in your eyes) than Himself. Use your words carefully and save them all for your testimony! You might consider doing it on a word document then cutting and pasting it into a comment so you can really think about what you want to say. Your participation through a comment will act as your automatic release for the publication of your testimony if yours is selected, SO, be sure, Sweet Thing, that you don’t say more than you mean to. You know your blog mama’s trying to protect you here.
Listen, these will be such a blast because, even if only 5 get to be selected for the booklet, just think how we are going to encourage one another and build up each other’s faith! NOT ONE STORY WILL BE WASTED. Thousands of eyes see these posts and comments. Girlfriend, T-E-S-T-I-F-Y! I will be sitting on pins and needles to watch these come in. Let’s call the deadline for your entries midnight on Thursday, April 26th.
The five who are selected will be contacted by LifeWay and will win the following:
- Free registration of the 2012 Living Proof Live simulcast for a small group of 7-14 of your friends!
- Free copy of Praying Godâs Word
- Free James member book (I realize lots of you may already have one of these but I’ll get these five signed if you want.)
- A special section in the Living Proof Live simulcast listening guide including YOUR story, Girlfriend! (We’ll want your picture, too, if you’re willing to submit it to us. You’ll be contacted and asked for it if you are selected.)
One of the things we’re so excited about this year for our Living Proof Live Simulcast is that, for the very first time, small groups and INDIVIDUALS are able to participate. If it’s anything like previous years, women will be joining us from church buildings, military bases, and prisons, but this year for the FIRST TIME, also from living rooms and couches. You can watch all day in your jammies if you want to!
If this event sounds fun to you, go ahead and get that thing on the calendar: September 15, 2012. We are believing God to permeate walls, embattled minds, and rock-hard hearts and speak words of life, freedom, redemption, ministry. AND UNITY, for crying out loud.You game??
 I love you guys so much. Can’t wait to hear from you!
From LifeWay:
If you would like more information about the simulcast or how you can be a host, visit www.lifeway.com/lplsimulcast.Â
Five years ago the military moved our family from Wichita Falls, Texas to Tampa, Florida. For my husband, Daniel, the move meant a new job with a lot of travel and lengthy deployments. For our daughter it meant a new school. Within weeks of our daughter starting school we quickly realized it was not a good situation and began looking at other options. Private schools were significantly out of our budget and we werenât familiar enough with the area to know if bussing her to another school would fix the issues. I felt like God was leading us to homeschooling and I was ready to jump in. My husband very, very reluctantly agreed. The first year was a disaster and came with so much fighting. Fighting that carried into years 2, 3, and 4. We had each dug in and were adamant that the other was wrong. Despite God continually placing people in our lives that re-affirmed the home school path Daniel still was unsure and continually questioned and we continually fought. One night after an argument with Daniel, I told God, âI give up. Although I really feel like I am doing what You want, my heart and Danielâs heart are in different places. Please Lord either change my heart or change Danielâs heart.â Throughout this past school year God did just that. He changed Danielâs heart towards homeschooling. The story though isnât that God changed Danielâs heart because really in the process He changed each of us. The story is simply, yet profoundly, that God changes hearts.
âLord send someone to sit with me that I can encourage and with whom I can share your Living Water.â
That was my prayer the night before returning home from a hot vacation with our children. My daughter was 5 years old at the time and she had the window seat, I was in the middle and a wonderful, older gentleman had the aisle seat beside me. We started making polite conversation and I soon realized that God had designed this moment for His glory and in answer to my prayer. As George spoke, I heard a tired and weary man that was searching for some meaning and peace in this life.
After about two hours of talking, I felt God nudging me to offer His peace to George. In my wisdom I began making excuses, fairly valid ones I thought. The beverage service was only 4 rows away from us, my daughter was beginning to get antsy waiting for me to pay some attention to her and Georgeâs friend kept popping by to chat with him.
The timing just felt very awkward and inappropriate. God seemed to say âits not your problemâ. I was expecting a âmagical momentâ to introduce George to the Lord, but there was no denying the Holy Spiritâs prompting. I said âGeorge, Jesus Christ can bring you peace and can fill every empty place in your life. Would you like to invite Him to do this for you?â I don’t know why I was shocked when he leaned toward me and earnestly said âyes, yesâ. George listened intently to the good news of the gospel and right there in row 8, he prayed out loud to receive the Lord.
What the Lord allowed me to witness next will always be a wonderful testament to his glory and I will never forget it. As we sat and chatted about how to navigate the bible and where to begin reading, I got to see George being filled with the Living Water that can satisfy every thirsty soul. Georgeâs weary, life-weathered face brightened. He clutched his chest and said over and over again âI feel something, I feel somethingâ!
The redeeming work of God is great and unmeasurable. âIf anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation: the old has gone, the new has come!â (2 Cor 5:17). I saw this literally happen that day. I saw âwisdom brighten a manâs face and change its hard appearanceâ as Ecc. 8:1 says. God did this for his own glory and not only did George receive new life, mine was re-newed! What a God-moment!!
Dear Beth, Living Proof Girls and fellow Siestas,
I made the “mistake” of reading these entries sitting in a public place- Starbucks. The tears well up in my eyes and I am about to wash off all my makeup in tears if I don’t stop reading. And I don’t have any tissue on me!
Praise the Lord for His mercy and the way He proves Himself faithful and true!
What redemption, what creativity-thank you to all who share so freely what God has done and is doing! Thank you Jesus for setting us free and letting his beauty and favor rest on us!
A few days ago, I awoke from a powerful dream. In the dream, I arose from my bed and shuffled into the bathroom to wash my face to begin my day. Upon looking in the mirror, I was horrified to discover that one entire side of my face was covered with repulsive, abhorrent mushrooms. Being one who cannot palate mushrooms in my waking life, this was particularly horrifying to me. I tried feverishly in my dream to scrub them off, only to discover that they would not loosen. I even had them growing on my bottom lip.
I awoke from this dream disturbed; however unlike other bad dreams, this one wouldnât go away. Coincidentally, I am I the midst of the Daniel Bible study and that night, I shared my dream with the group. They suggested that maybe God was trying to tell me something through that dream. Inside I was thinking, âGod doesnât do that anymoreâthatâs an Old Testament thing, and certainly not something He uses to talk to a regular girl in 2012!â Well, their question kind of stuck with me and on the drive home, I timidly prayed about it. Before the prayer was fully off of my lips, a thought emerged in my mind. âArenât you wondering why in the dream only one side of your face was effected?â Whoa. Suddenly, truth washed over me like a river. I had recently been incredibly two-faced with someone in my life. Immediately convicted of my sin, I prayed for forgiveness and knew what I had to do. The next day, I sat down with the friend I had betrayed, confessed my sin, and asked for her forgivenessâsix months of thick walls of hurt and miscommunication came tumbling down.
God spoke powerfully to me through this experience. While the dream did reveal sin in my life, more importantly, it showed that I had been putting boundaries on God based on my small experiences and limited knowledge. I was inadvertently categorizing Godâs actions into things He âused to doâ and âthings He does nowâ or âthings He does for other peopleâ and âthings He does for meâ. Godâs Word is truthâall of itâand continues to be alive and activeâŠeven in 2012.
Very moving!
Three years ago, I completed Beth Mooreâs Believing God Bible Study and determined to live a life of faith. I wanted to believe God no matter what the circumstances or whether God responded the way I expect or think He should. A year later, my seemingly healthy 25 year old husband was suddenly diagnosed with Brain Cancer. The first night in the ER, I told God I believed Him, even though I did not understand why this was happening. Throughout the next few months of surgery, Radiation, and Chemotherapy, there were times when I felt exhausted. I just wanted forget everything that was occurring around me. It was during those moments that I heard Godâs faithful voice whisper to my heart, âWill you still believe me? Even now?â I was determined to continue trusting Him.
Other than salvation, choosing to believe God no matter what has been the most important decision that I have ever made. There were times when it was the only thing keeping me sane. When I am taunted with thoughts of âwhat ifâ and the temptation to fear, I comfort myself with the understanding that God has a plan, and nothing happens without his knowledge. He is always with me, and regardless of what happens â even if my worst fears come true â He will still be God, and it really will be okay. I am living proof that God is always faithful, and a life of continually believing Him is the only one worth living.
Lindsay Neagle ~ Bangor, Maine
Lindsay,
I am a cancer survivor, so I know what you mean. Keeping our faith in God through it all, gets us through anything! Stay strong in Christ!
I am a girl, a woman now, who has experienced my life my way. I have been so lost, my friend. I tell you, I have. Seeking and searching, stumbling, falling and failing and trying so hard to get life right, only to wind up in my own mess again. I am 39 years old and for the first time experiencing the truest freedom I have ever known from an addiction that enmeshed into my very being like burnt fibers into my skin!
On May 15, 2010, I was homeless, living from drug house to drug house doing unspeakable things, living in the most pitiful conditions. Two kiddoâs not with me, AGAIN! In my brokenness, I cried out to God. âShow yourself to me! I need you to show me in black and white, because I donât know if you even exist anymore!â
Well, if Satan goes to church, you can certainly bet God goes to the dope houses to save dirty girls like me. Three days later, a spiritual heaviness overcame the room in the upstairs of a drug house I was in. My friendâs random conversation turned into an overwhelming convicting story of the Lord and I began to sob heavily. My friendâs voice changed in tone and said, âStephanie, I come to you in black and white. You need to choose a path, and when you do, there will be no contest. When you choose your path, remember to step out on faithâŠJust step out on FAITH! He said you see yourself as so much less than the way I see you.â The windows were rattling with the booms of thunder beating at the house. Never have I heard thunder so loud.
There is so much more that was said, but everything my loving God told me that night has come true or been confirmed through his wordâŠeven the thunder.
I am so blessed to be clean since 1-1-11. I went to treatment 12 times before accepting the Lord in to my life. This time, I went to bed for 2 days and no withdrawals. He led me to Godly women who disciple with me, and take me through his loving word. He leads me and guides me to others who are hurting who I can pour into as I have been poured into!
I will stand up and shout for the Lord what he has done for this dirty, desperate, wayward little girl. I wasnât worth it to myself, but I was worth it to Him!
All Glory to You, my Love!
Wow! Amazing testimony!
I could almost hear the doors slamming in my face as my plans came to an abrupt halt. I had worked so hard and taken all of the right steps, but none of that seems to matter when the first five words of all the letters read âIâm sorry to inform youâ. I was declined, rejected, denied. I would not be pursuing the only dream I ever had.
With no sense of direction or purpose, I moved back home to take a part time job and thatâs when I began to see that God had bigger plans for my future. He saw the hopelessness in me behind the façade of strength and brought healing to my broken heart. Where denial and emptiness once echoed in my soul, He provided acceptance and invitation. He opened doors that would lead me to fulfilling His purpose for my life instead of my own. He provided opportunities that were above and beyond what I could have ever imagined. And now I am working in a handful of ministries, living in His Word daily and trusting Him alone with my future. I am made to love, worship and follow Him. And regardless of our own plans, sisters, that is what we are all made to do.
I am living proof that He holds our past, present and future. Praise God!
I truly believe in the power of prayer and in His Word, and when we seek God with all our hearts, He is faithful to show us the way. âBy your words I can see where Iâm going; they throw a beam of light on my dark path.â (Ps. 119:105) The Message ~
Shortly after receiving news of my daughterâs unplanned pregnancy, I took a walk and cried out to God. It was during that time, I saw the first of nine rainbows that would appear over the course of her pregnancy. It was as if He was saying each time, âMy promises are true. Trust Me with your grandchild.â
Through prayerful seeking, an adoption plan was made. I experienced peace, but longed for confirmation, and rainbow after rainbow appeared over each of my longings.
Just weeks away from her giving birth, He lovingly gave me one more confirmation that took my breath away.
It all happened when I sat down to view a video. You see, six years prior, my oldest daughter experienced an unplanned pregnancy, also, and she prayerfully placed her baby with an amazing adoptive family. This family creates video cards each year for us, and as I sat down to watch their latest video, a stunning photo appeared which showed this couple standing under a beautiful rainbow! My heart skipped a beat. There it was. A picture of Godâs promise, grace and mercy, and His confirmation that whispered in a still small voice to my soul, âSee what I did in the past and how I am working all things together for good? Keep trusting Me.â
âAnd we know that God causes everything to work together for the good of those who love God and are called according to his purpose for them.â (Romans 8:28) NLT
Iâve always considered myself a believer in God, but as a child I had minimal opportunities to grow my relationship with God and that continued throughout my adulthood. My parentâs marriage failed, and I was a victim of things that little girls should never endure. After my own failed 14 year marriage stemming from his addictions and my spiraling insanity and need to control, I found myself searching for God. I surrendered in our bedroom while on maternity leave and holding my newborn baby in 2001. I wish I could say that I blossomed from there, but I didnât. This act found me in a church community where I needed to be active for fear I would get lost. This was no guarantee as I found myself in a miserable marriage, battling melanoma, stage 4 cancer at the age of 31 with three young children, and all alone. I decided I could let my fears and anger consume me, or find the will to live with God leading the way. God did for me what I was incapable of doing.
In 2010, I had an 8 pound cancer tumor removed, six months later I married a wonderful man and learned shortly thereafter that I needed back surgery due to a misplaced epidural from childbirth. I chose to seek God and spread the word of how great God is daily and I havenât stopped since⊠love finding ways to share Godâs goodness! Iâm alive and healthy!
Thank God that evil tumor was removed from your body!
Praise God!
This is a story about the prodigal child. I would like to tell you it is my daughter who told me she was pregnant while in college and about her deciding to leave our home a year later to move in with the father of our grandchild, and all the heartbreak and more. But…. no, this story is about me and how God continues to work through me and use me.
God used these events to bring me back. I was the prodigal child living in rebellion. Filling my days with everything but him.
When our daughter first moved out, I was devastated but more so for our granddaughter who had bonded with us that first year and we with her. We even went to court and received temporary custody. That truly doesn’t happen for grandparents. God also used people who had not been in touch with me or who knew anything about the events taking place to reach out and tell me they were thinking about me. Several people. Our granddaughter only stayed with us for a couple of months but it was long enough for God to help me realize he was there for me; holding me when he knew I would need him so much in the months to come.
I soon realized I couldn’t ignore God anymore. My husband and I started attending church again on a regular basis. Our church had a revival not two weeks after we started going, and the evangelist preached on the prodigal child. At first, I wanted it to be about my daughter but after the Holy Spirit convicted me, I had to own up that I was that prodigal child living in rebellion.
Since then, God has done so much.
After one particular rough night, I heard him whisper “trust me” after I woke up the next morning. It completely caught me off guard but that is what it boils down to, Trust. Trust him for salvation, Trust him to hold you when things go terribly wrong, trust him to be in control when everything is out of control, trust him with your life for there is no hope without him.
When I am in God’s presence, he takes my breath away. I never want to forget what he has shown me on this journey or go back to being the prodigal child.
The bible study James I recently participated in also came at just the right time. I definitely believe in God’s timing and that he can use all things to work together for good to those who love God, to those who are called according to His purpose. (Romans 8:28)
Tomorrow I go to my first volunteer training for a Christian based pregnancy center our church supports. I only mention it because it is a perfect example of how God can use what happens in our lives for good.
I also ask those who will to continue to pray for family healing.
Thank you all for sharing your amazing testimonies. We serve an awesome God. How difficult it will be for them to choose only 5. Thank you for being Bold and living proof for others to see and find hope for their own struggles. Blessings!
Psalm 139 has always been near and dear to my heart. You have searched me,my precious Lord, Father, Lover, deliverer and friend…
You know me and you love me. ”
You created me in my inmost being, you knit me together in my mother’s womb.
You held me tight when she received multiple shock treatments and medication for her mental illness.
You would not allow the doctors to therapeutically terminate her pregnancy.
I praise you that even when she fell down the stairs it did not harm me because you held tight.
I am fearfully and wonderfully made. I know that full well.
My frame was not hidden from you when I was made in the secret place, even in the depths of my dispair and turning to food to comfort me. You smiled and knew all the days of my life were written in your book, before I lived them.
The teasing and pain of growing up with my mothers illness. you were there.
Being an obese teenager and food addict you were there.
Longing to be loved…you were there.
The date rape and loss. You were there. Dangerous situations and risks, you were there. Years of binging and purging your precious hand was on me. You never left, you held on and believed in me.
I am fearfully and wonderfully made…I know that full well.
You have been my most faithful friend I am grateful you are always with me.
You heard me cry and rescued me with the gift of mornings with mommy, a gift of healing and redemption as I start the day with a mom I am learning to love and forgive. As I cry for you to search me and know my heart ; test me and know my ways you have always been there leading me in the way everlasting. Teaching a mommy to fall in love with you my precious Jesus, you are here…Thank you for it is in the pain and hard times that you have held me the closest…I love you Lord.
It was a beautiful summer day. I was twelve. I spent the summers with a family friend, âJanâ. We always had so much fun together either while she was riding her horses or shopping. We had gone to get our hair done. We were having such a good time. I had my back to the door of the old Dodge truck talking to Jan. Little did we know that God was about to perform a miracle.
As we were traveling up a curvy mountain road the door came open. Unfortunately this was before seatbelt laws. I donât remember what happened. I was told I landed in the ditch. I canât imagine the panic that went through Janâs mind as she turned the truck around to get me. It was a miracle from beginning to end.
I scooped up gravel with my mouth and this prevented breaking any teeth. I didnât try to hold onto the door to try to keep from falling so that prevented me from going under the truck. The doctors were convinced that something had to be broken, but even after countless x-rays no broken bones were found. All the injuries were superficial and would soon heal. My face and especially my lips were swollen and I still have blue spots of tar and gravel in my face. Those are just reminders of the miracle. There is no other explanation, it is a MIRACLE that I survived and especially that I escaped serious injury. Jeremiah 29:11
In January, 1999, Pete (then fiancee, now husband) and I, both teachers, found ourselves planning to move back to Ohio from North Carolina. In March, Pete accepted a job with a large city district, but by May, I still didnât have a job. Then, a school offered me a job with the biggest salary Iâd ever made; money was a factor because two moves in two years meant no wedding savings. But, the school was two hours away from Peteâs district. After much prayer, I turned down the job. I remember thinking Iâd never get a job making that much money. In June, with no job, I resigned from my NC school and moved to Ohio. Pete found an apartment; I put my stuff in storage and lived at my momâs. In August, I got a job in the same district as Pete. It came with a decent salary (less than the one Iâd turned down), but they couldnât promise what or where Iâd be teaching. As I sat in new teacher orientation, a principal from a district 45 minutes away from Peteâs called and offered me a job teaching the subject I loved. I knew this was Godâs plan, but worried about the salary. Before I had a chance to ask, she told me the salary–$1000 dollars more than the job Iâd turned down. âAnd my God will meet all your needs according to the riches of his glory in Christ Jesus.â Philippians 4:19
I am living proof that God can carry a broken-hearted woman from the pain of empty arms, to the cradle of His grace…TWICE!
After years of infertility treatments, I had become bitter. Then Godâs grace became clear, it was not His plan for us to conceive but, He blessed us with a newborn baby boy in 2006 through the miracle of adoption. And, when I say âmiracleâ, only the Hand of God could have orchestrated this one! Along with extortion and many other mistakes, we learned that the agency we used was fraudulent and had taken money from another family for our baby! God used our faith and this precious baby to draw others closer to Him as we walked through these struggles. Our family was complete…or so we thought.
Our heartsâ desire was to adopt again, but we knew we could not afford it. The Lord began placing the idea of fostering on our hearts. Last July we received a call about a baby born 16 weeks early. He would be our first foster placement. I knew God was leading me to love this child, but the obstacles I would face just to visit him in the NICU, made me wonder if I had missed God’s direction. I marveled at this 1 lb. 14 oz. creation, that only The Master couldâve purposed and be keeping alive. The medical staff was not encouraging, but I had an unexplainable peace that he would be okay. And I KNEW that someday, I would be his Momma!
Over the next 12 weeks, I prayed for him, talked to him, sang to him, read to him, loved him and spoke the name of Jesus over him for several hours every day. In October, he weighed 5 lbs. 6 oz. The medical community gave us grave reports about many of the possible limitations, inabilities and high risk conditions he could develop, including severe reflux which caused him to stop breathing. But, we took him home. Today he is perfect! He weighs 13 pounds! He is beautiful! And he is ours! God has allowed us to adopt him!
And with each âDo you know what you are getting yourselves into?â we have replied, âItâs a God thing!â Medical professionals look at him and shake their heads saying his progress is unexplainableâŠbut that just gives us another opportunity to show someone living proof of the healing power of an Almighty God!
Iâve attempted to write this numerous times. Where do I begin? My heart feels as though itâs been torn out of my chest. I am in the midst of my second miscarriage in five months, after only six months of marriage. The two losses have been devastating and yet they arenât the only children that I will never meet this side of heaven. Before I knew Christ I chose to abort. The world would say that Iâm getting what I deserve. And the enemy fills my mind with lies that say I couldnât be a mom then what makes me think I can be one now? If the Son has set you free you are free indeed âJohn 8:36, claiming it now. I AM FREE.
I have no great story of a final destination with the Lord, YET. Iâm still here on this planet and until I see him face to face my heart will ache, Iâll cry and all of the âwhyâ questions will go unanswered. I also canât tell you how faithful Iâve been, the truth is I havenât. Heâs been faithful to me. He has promised in his Word that when Iâm unfaithful He is faithful, He will never disown himself.
Through the tears and sorrow he has met me in a way unfit for words. I love that heâs let me be honest. He listens to my cries, he hears my questions, he sees my anger and confusion, none of it pushes him away. Heâs carried me when I couldnât walk. His power is being made perfect in my weakness. This season has allowed me to say along with Job âMy ears had heard of you but now my eyes have seen you.â
Thank you for this powerful testimony. He is so faithful.
In May of 2011 I was looking for love in all the wrong places: alcohol, illicit sexual relationships, improper work ethic, involvement in breaking all Ten Commandments,and a Baptist preacher that would not allow me to join the church because of my sin, etc. It was in searching that the Lord lead me to a godly woman who introduced me to the teachings/writings of Beth. I was a sponge. I was empty and hurting that I wanted to be filled. I was 34 years old. I did not have a family because of all sin involvement I was adult adopted by a family that stole everything from me. I had nothing and no one so reading Ms. Moore and seeing how God could change a life I thought maybe He could still use me. My therapist and Beth brought realization that I had to break free. Miracles began of food, money, etc. God always supplied. As He supplied I felt peace and a clearer mind. Healing began. After 10 years I still had an emptiness that from past sin did not feel would be 100% healed until … 1 year ago I just celebrated my 1st wedding anniversary. God brought me from ashes and made beauty. I learned to be His bride and then He graciously gave me my man. What a healing.
My testimony isnât about me, except for choices I made in my flesh, but a story penned by the Author of Salvation, my Redeemer, whoâs rescued me from the dominion of darkness. The following promise is one I know my parents held to for many years as they watched their daughter stray from Light and become entrapped by sin.
âTrain a child in the way that he should go, and when he is old he will not turn from it.â Proverbs 22:6
The Lord pursued my heart and I found a saving faith at a very early age. Yet I became so polluted by the world as my desires turned into sin, and was almost the literal death of me. Caught in a web of alcoholism and various addictions, I perceived my identity through actions I committed, rather than the Resurrection of our King! I became the carnal man looking no different from culture and society. Praise HIM that the spiritual war waging inside never let up. I couldnât escape His gentle whisper beckoning me home. When I called out for Him, He heard me and returned me to the joy of HIS salvation. Through His Word, He broke the chains and set me free! His patience, and some well-placed slaps on the back of my head, reminds me who I am. I am His. This life of freedom is all about Him, because HE is LIFE. Oh, El Roi, that you see ME! Glory be to you my King.
Praise His Holy Name!
at 3 years old, my mom died, raised in a house of chaos, completely abandoned emotionally by a father fixed on wealth. Emotionally abandoned at home, Abused through school which led to sexual abuse..I felt worthless.
Attempted suicide, caught in sexual sin. Didn’t know that I could be loved or pursued!
Jesus pursued me, he came for me in my trouble and as Hosea’s wife did, I kept running back to the comfort of being abandoned and hated. then my father died too.
Jesus pursued me more. I thought I had become a Christian, but I ran to religion not Jesus, didn’t understand the Gospel and what it truly meant. at 26 He gave me a new family who adopted me with love.
Ended up in a marriage full of chaos and hate and rage. Jesus pursued me. He has loved me and keeps drawing me to himself and keeps rescuing me. He KNOWS that I am DUST!!!
My marriage is healing, and my life is full of many miracles only explained by God’s presence and his Power! I am loved. I am alive and Jesus is real, his patience and love are everlasting.
Slow to anger and abounding with love, He is changing me, breaking me, loving me. I am Living Proof of his Spirit doing the work and that it is not me, nothing I can do will or can change the way He loves me. I am His, and I pray every day that he will give me the gift of his love, and to give me his spirit so I can love others like he has loved me.
Mine is a story of Restoration. Iâve known my Lord and Savior for 40 years. As our children traveled through their teen years, I let myself get distracted with the cares of this world. Working full-time, returning to college classes. Iâm not making excuses â there are none. I know the enemy prowls about like a lion looking for whom he can devour. I let my guard down, slowly, day by day. I became complacent in my walk with God. I spent 5 years in a dry dry desert. God would call to me. I would walk past my dusty Bible, look at it and tell God,âI know, I know â Iâm going to get back to itâ. But I didnât. Then one day, the floor seemed to fall out from under me. I began experiencing severe anxiety, nausea, palpitations, and a cluster of other symptoms. After several visits to doctors I was diagnosed as peri-menopausal. For months I would have brief periods of 10 or 20 minutes a day without symptoms. The enemy would frequently whisper to me that I was mentally broken and would never be well, such terrible dark thoughts of hopelessness. I was so broken I could barely function. I couldnât pray, I had no words. I would listen to Worship music and pace for hours. I saturated myself with God, I was too broken to do anything else. What the father of lies intended for harm â and I know he truly meant to kill me, God turned to my good. God spoke to me that as satan had shifted Peter so I was being sifted â the complacency was being shifted out of me. It has been a battle for the past 2 Âœ years. However, the war is over â I know I am victorious! There are still skirmishes, satan still tries to whisper lies to me â but my eyes are open now â I recognize the liar and see through the lies quicker now. God has given me armor bearers to hold up my arms when I become weary â and now I am an armor bearer for others. There is no complacency left in me â Iâm all His. I hunger and thirst for His Word as never before, I seek His presence and He is ever on my mind. He is ever my Comforter, my Counselor, my Fortress and my Strongtower. He has purged me, refined me, opened the eyes of my heart and restored me. And forever I will praise Him!
August 2010–girl gets family back in church regularly, upon the command of the Holy Spirit. January 2011–Holy Spirit woos girl to ministry, girl is skeptical. April 2011–girl canât fight it anymore–she surrenders to ministry. August 2011–Spiritual warfare leaves girl on the brink of insanity.
Maybe it was because I had surrendered to the ministry, maybe it was because it was to time awake from my sleepy Christian slumberâŠwhatever the reason, I was about to have a crash-course on faith. Full-on demonic attacks started occurring nightly–not just spiritually speaking, Iâm talking about physical oppression. And not just me, but my children as well. Never in my life had I known this type of fear. Every night was a battle and every morning, I lived in defeat. After seeking help from my pastor and godly friends, I started fighting back instead of living in fear. I memorized scripture like nobodyâs business. I started praying, out loud, spouting scripture. I fasted. I sought God as if my life depended on it. Because it did. I was crippled, and he was my life support. Day by day, I started trusting more. Night by night, the attacks gradually lessened. God was creating a new work in me, and he was taking his time, making sure this girl was right where he needed her–believing in Him. Spiritual warfare is real, and I have the battle scars to prove it. But without them, I would never have become more than a conqueror through Christ. Glory to God!
Experts say early trauma causes serious emotional problems for life. Shouldnât multiple traumas destroy you?
I was molested at four by outside family members, by an older boy on a school bus at six. Two months after my twelfth birthday a tornado ripped away our neighborhood. Six months later, I lost my wonderful father. Two years later my mother remarried. We moved. Again, I was assaulted on a school bus, in broad daylight. My stepfather became my main abuser, and home wasnât safe anymore.
I felt abandoned and hopeless. I tried to end my life. In the middle of my simple plan, I heard a voice call my name. âI must be losing my mind,â but I wasnât. The third time, I knew God was calling me. It was there that I surrendered to him at age 18. His spirit spoke to my heart, âI have a plan for you.â
In 2008, I turned 40. I wasnât yet healed and carried a heavy burden of secrets. A group of ladies invited me to a weekly study, Breaking Free. We attended the re-taping of the study in New Orleans. I felt Godâs spirit speak again, âWill you trust me?â
I stood among hundreds of strangers and told the secret I carried for so long. I was set free.
Now, I share with others, helping them to be set free. I am not destroyed. I am whole!
THANK YOU BETH!!!
I have been a Christian for 54 years and married to my husband for 45, both retired and cancer survivors, wondered what the Lord has in mind for us in serving Him. Sept. 30, 2011 He began to tell us. To make a long story short, Monte had an emergency surgery that led to 3 other surgeries. Much prayer and 7 months wondering why God would allow us to go through all of this led us to Denver recuperating from his 4th surgery. We again ask ourselves âwhyâ then it came to me – âwhy notâ. Doctors are saying the healing process is going faster than they imagined. We know this is God answering the many prayers on Monteâs behalf. He has been so faithful in leading us through a very difficult time. As I copy Scriptures that speak to me I know I can use them in helping others that will go through this same thing in the future. God gave His one and only Son as the perfect sacrifice for my sins and all He wants in return is my complete obedience. Who am I to disobey His request. We have a very FAITHFUL Heavenly Father and I am awestruck at what He is doing through the Drs. and nurses taking care of Monte. I cannot possibly think of a way to thank Him enough except allow Him to use me in anyway He wishes to help others see the wonderful Father God that He is.
James 1:24 Consider it pure joy, my brothers, whenever you face trials of many kinds
John 11:4 âŠâThis sickness will not end in death. No, it is for Godâs glory so that Godâs Son may be glorified through it.â
I just realized now that midnight on Thursday was nearly 24 hours ago!!! I got confused, Hope my story encourages someone to keep being honest with God and to keep crying out to him. His answers will come, even if they are the answer of Silence. He is faithful.
Nine years ago I made the biggest mistake of my life and walked away from my husband, my kids, my faith in God, my church â all because I believed the lie that I deserved to be happy with someone else.
During that time Satan convinced me that my conscience was seared beyond recognition, that I could never find my way back to God and that I had done too much damage for anyone (i.e. God) to be able to repair it. The enemy also tried to destroy me by pulling me even further into sin, making me hate myself even more.
One Sunday, I âhappenedâ to go to church. Many of the people there knew me and knew of all the pain I had caused, and yet a beautiful thing happened. They embraced me, made me feel safe, and showed me love and acceptance. The Holy Spirit used the actions of those dear people to soften my heart, so that when the Pastor preached the message, I was ready to agree with God about my sin and turn from it.
In the meantime, God had been working on my husbandâs heart. Although he was hurt by my betrayal, he made a commitment to pray Scripture for me every day.
By the time I repented and asked God to heal my marriage, my dear husband was ready to take me back and work with me on restoring the love we once had.
Praise God ! âHe brings dead things to life and calls things that are not as though they wereâ (Rom 4:17)
I had been deep in Bible Studies for over 20 years and was reading through the Bible in a year when I came upon a scripture in Isaiah 30 speaking about putting aside idols in order to hear your teachers.
I ask God do I have idols ⊠It was during the next several months that clearly I was shown, that yes, I indeed did have a rather large idol, my business of 24 years that I had founded. Yes, an idol is not wood or stone. But the thing that you go to instead of the Lord for emotional needs your self-worth, your comfort, and your pleasure. When I saw it I wept and wept to think that I had so defiled my heart, when I was his child.
I realized that I had a rather large item taking up room in my heart making it hard for God to be my most devoted love. I could not hear his still small voice over the loud voice of myself constantly asking for direction, when I was in sin. I could not take in his buried treasure in scripture because I was just looking for answers to my everyday work needs. I was not looking to see how to serve like how Jesus very clearly told us to; I was too tired working to build a name for myself. I was not glorifying God, by witnessing to the lost; I was studying the word to help myself recover from overworking. I repented and asked for help in how you take down an idol. It was a 3 year process but God was true to his word and did the work of refinement in my life.
My deliverer freed me. I knew it was time to let go of my business. I have been serving the poor, lost, and imprisoned. I am at peace and more satisfied than I ever was with the best my Idol ever gave me.
I am Living Proof that My God is My Reward!
Diane
250 words or less?? I am not a person of few words, so this will be a fun challenge.
When I was 12, my older sister spent the summer away. Of course, I took over her bedroom to escape my younger sisterâs messy tyranny! When I succumbed to the flu for 2 weeks, an elderly neighbor loaned me some books to read, and I spent many quiet hours reading and recuperating in my sisterâs cozy room. My favorite was the autobiography of Miss America 1980. Reading about her unwavering faith created a raging hunger in me to have what she had. I accepted Christ as my Savior right there in my sisterâs bed and continued on my journey â high school, college, work, marriage, moves and motherhood.
God proved to be a vital asset in raising 3 young boys; at the time, I believed that experience to be the character-forging challenge of a lifetime! 2005 proved me wrong. My extended family went through a 5 year season âin the valleyâ. This grievous time culminated in 2010 when my sister succumbed to Lou Gehrigâs disease at age 43. This time, she was the one sick in bed, but she recuperated in Heaven. Her death brought tremendous loss, but also joy because she was no longer suffering and I knew she was with God. Her gift to our family was her beautiful 13-year old daughter to add to our brood of boys.
As a wife, mother, daughter, friend & sister, God has provided abundantly to me â giving me everything I have needed and more. In truth, any dark times in my life have always been overshadowed by the light of Christ – joy, hope and faith have not been sitting on the sidelines. I know God has a plan that far outweighs my imaginings. I trust Him.
Iâll have to say, Jesus has been uncommonly dazzling and ever so kind and loving to me, in my life! After many years of being a miserable Christian, He began to use brokenness in my life to crack open my grief and wounds, much like a surgeon cuts through flesh to heal a deeper mess. During those seasons (that I didn’t always appreciate) of brokenness, He taught me so many valuable lessons~ that He is enough, that I could trust Him regarding and for everything, my value, what to look for in healthy relationships, on and on.
One of many delightful things He did was, He would use lilies in some form everywhere (a mother calling her child in a store, a picture on a wall), continuously, through a particularly difficult season of suffering, as He was breaking me from dependency on anything but Him for my Source of Life. The lilies were like a romantic code, so to speak, letting me know He was there, and reminding me of what was true.
As I learned to yield and utterly surrender to Him, He gradually began to restore and replace (Joel) all that Iâd lost. Iâm sitting here at my new desk many years later, with my amazing husband nearby ~the one Jesus poured His heart, value, and respect for me into, and gave me during the wedding of my dreams and heart.
Galatians 2:20 is the nutshell of the beautiful work Jesus did in my heart, wooing me to receive Him as my number one Love. He amazingly knows how to give us the desires of our heart after teaching us to place Him first!
My name is Ashley Lemr and this is my story. I took my first sip of alcohol at the very young age of 14. Drinking was a momentary escape for me and I drank very heavily for almost three years. It was a cold January night and I wanted to go out with my friends. My parents said no, and out of anger I went to my room and began to cry. Out of the middle of nowhere I had this thought (which I now know came from God) that told me to go put in a Third Day CD that my brother had just bought me for Christmas. While listening to the CD, I decided to open up my Bible. I came across Psalm 147:3, “He heals the brokenhearted and binds up their wounds.” I very vividly remember thinking to myself, “I am so tired of feeling brokenhearted and I want to be healed.” I stayed up half the night reading, and asked God to forgive me of my sins and come into my life. It was my AHA moment so to speak. I am always so amazed to know that on the same night I wanted to go out and drink, God choose to save me. I wasn’t even looking for Him but He found me. On Feb. 13, 2005 I was baptized and my life has never been the same. God has done immeasurably more for me than I could have ever imagined and I am forever grateful.
Great testimony of God’s love! Thanks for sharing Ashley. I am sure this makes your brother smile too đ
My name is Ashley Lemr and this is my story. I took my first sip of alcohol at the very young age of 14. Drinking was a momentary escape for me and I drank very heavily for almost three years. It was a cold January night and I wanted to go out with my friends. My parents said no, and out of anger I went to my room and began to cry. Out of the middle of nowhere I had this thought (which I now know came from God) that told me to go put in a Third Day CD that my brother had just bought me for Christmas. While listening to the CD, I decided to open up my Bible. I came across Psalm 147:3, “He heals the brokenhearted and binds up their wounds.” I very vividly remember thinking to myself, “I am so tired of feeling brokenhearted and I want to be healed.” I stayed up half the night reading, and asked God to forgive me of my sins and come into my life. It was my AHA moment so to speak. I am always so amazed to know that on the same night I wanted to go out and drink, God choose to save me. I wasn’t even looking for Him but He found me. On Feb. 13, 2005 I was baptized and my life has never been the same. God has done immeasurably more for me than I could have ever imagined and I am forever grateful.
I suffered with panic and anxiety for over 10 years. It controlled many areas of my life from driving by myself to going on trips away from my home. I learned to live around it and never did anything that would bring on fear until my mom was rushed to the hospital 3 states away and I had to go. I prayed the whole way to make it there without panic. She passed while we were there and we had to come home without her and after that I told myself that if my mom could go through having ALS(she said that Jesus would heal her and he did) then I can do this. This was a spark. I started praying and then i started doing things that I couldn’t do before. I started to pray more and learned some of God’s word and I got through more things. Then after a little time went by I was hit with a fear that was bigger than the other fears and I was scared, then someone told me how powerful god’s word was and I started speaking it and I dove into his word and I was given a few of Beth’s books(especially praying god’s word) and I prayed and prayed and prayed and I got stronger and God showed me more and I’m still getting stronger and learning and I still pray and pray and pray. I have learned more in the last 2 years than I have learned my whole Life. I now drive by myself(i know that sounds weird but I couldn’t before), I just finished my first bible study(Daniel…Wew!) , i am doing things that I haven’t been able to do in 10 years. I have been just jumping out of my comfort and I’m doing more and more. I can do ALL things through Christ. I have met so many great ladies and heard so many testimonies and we are not the only ones. It will be okay and we will get through this. God is working and I can’t wait to see what He has planned.
YES! What a beautiful picture of the Lord giving strength and courage! Thanks for this!
About five years ago, I began to experience the debilitating pain of daily migraines. These headaches brought my life screeching to a halt. The low point came when medical complications pushed me into deep depression. The darkness around me felt palpable, heavy, a smothering cloud extinguishing everything. I cried to God–but for the first time in my life, I could not hear His voice or feel His love. Feeling completely abandoned, I longed to take my own life.
While darkness kept me from hearing God, He never left me and He answered my cries for help. He sent some dear friends to pray with me and be His hands and feet. I began to pray His Wordâto speak His truth aloud over my life, even when I felt nothing. I kept waiting to feel trust again, but He showed me trust is not a feeling but a choice. The love of God and the comfort of His presence were there for me all alongâbut I had to choose to believe moment by moment, day by day until Truth drove out fear. As I decided to trust Him and His love, light and hope began to creep back into my life.
I still battle migraines as I wait on God for healing. I still cry, still struggle. But now Godâs Word is truly my daily bread. I am living proof that hoping in God, standing on His promises and daily receiving His tender love make all the difference!
woke up in a bed at the Lehigh Valley Burn Unit after my third and final clinical death. I had asphyxiated on my breakfast cereal from that morning. I had a tracheotomy at this time and one does not speak well with one of these. I awoke from this last death experience screaming for one person and one person only Jesus Christ. Now I should go back a little bit, I was at Lehigh Valley because I was in a fatal house fire(I had lost my five year old son Caleb and was going on seven months pregnant with my daughter Ally) that left me with 3rd degree burns covering 65% of my body. Now what you also need to know about me is before this tragedy I was an Atheist. I had known Christianity as a teenager but had since stopped being a believer. Many people in my position may have used this as evidence that God does not exist but not me I came running (metaphorically of course) to be at Godâs feet. I honestly believe today that the only reason I am still on this Earth is because God saved me. When I arrived to Lehigh I had a 10% chance of survival the outlook is was not good but through the power of prayer and hope in God I WAS saved physically and spiritually. God had worked through the doctors, the nurses and the therapists to save my life He truly is magnificent.
Iâve been on a quest for freedom from some very intense strongholds ever since Jesus radically saved me in my early 20âs. God gave me a beautiful daughter and I was determined to give her a different life than the one that had been given me.
Eventually it became clear that I had cancer. For many years I was so weak from battling the cancer that when I would study I couldnât remember anything. But my quest for freedom was still strong; I was determined that even if I couldnât find freedom for myself, I would find it for her.
The only fellowship I had was Bethâs Blog. Last year when everybody was getting excited about the SSMT, I was too weak to even read the instructions. But God kept nudging me, so I did. Soon afterward things took a turn for the worse. But I clung to my verses, and I grew stronger.
God blessed me so during that year and He led me to start a blog of my own âChristsetusfreeâ. He has used His Word to set me free in so many ways by setting it to memory. And now with my blog I can leave my blueprint of freedom for my daughter as a legacy.
For as long as God allows, to the hundreds of visitors from every country, I hope not only to share how Godâs Word can set us free from strongholds, but how Jesus came to set us free from sin and death.
That is the end of my testimony. I wish I had room to tell the whole story, of how God rescued me from a shelter for battered women, pregnant, broke, and sick. How my precious baby girl would show me what love was. How God later brought a doctor into our lives, and he fell in love with both of us. How he laid down his life for us, literally. How I did get to finish raising her, and she just graduated summa cum laude (with highest honors), from university, a first generation college student! How she is full of virtue, and everything that I wasnât.
Thank you, Beth, for infusing me with the courage to persevere. I love you so much, so much, so much.
God has dramatically rescued me from a slimy pit, lifted me out of mud and mire and set my feet on a rock named Jesus through the power of His Word. I cannot give Him enough praise, honor and glory for His healing presence in my life. From age 3-11, I was severely sexually abused through my church and church-run school. However, the most damage came from the perpetrators’ twisting of the scriptures in a calculated manner causing misperceptions of God and His truth. In college I joined a small “church” whose members’ lives I believed to be what Christianity truly entailed. My confusing past set me up to be the perfect candidate for eight insane years in this cult. I participated in things I believed God had called me to but were actually the epitome of deception. The abuse that occurred there was more damaging than anything that had happened as a child. After years of therapy and hospitalizations, I was functioning but could not enter a church or read my Bible without severe emotional reactions of anxiety, guilt, and shame. Eight years later, I knew God said it was time. I joined an intense Bible Study and am finishing up my third year. Words can’t do justice to the cleansing and redemption Jesus has miraculously brought through studying and memorizing His truth that for years was so misused by the enemy. I am Living Proof that Jesus is the Redeemer, and I glorify His holy name!
I posted this last night at 11 something, but it doesn’t appear on the blog:
250 words or less?? I am not a person of few words, so this will be a fun challenge.
When I was 12, my older sister spent the summer away. Of course, I took over her bedroom to escape my younger sisterâs messy tyranny! When I succumbed to the flu for 2 weeks, an elderly neighbor loaned me some books to read, and I spent many quiet hours reading and recuperating in my sisterâs cozy room. My favorite was the autobiography of Miss America 1980. Reading about her unwavering faith created a raging hunger in me to have what she had. I accepted Christ as my Savior right there in my sisterâs bed and continued on my journey â high school, college, work, marriage, moves and motherhood.
God proved to be a vital asset in raising 3 young boys; at the time, I believed that experience to be the character-forging challenge of a lifetime! 2005 proved me wrong. My extended family went through a 5 year season âin the valleyâ. This grievous time culminated in 2010 when my sister succumbed to Lou Gehrigâs disease at age 43. This time, she was the one sick in bed, but she recuperated in Heaven. Her death brought tremendous loss, but also joy because she was no longer suffering and I knew she was with God. Her gift to our family was her beautiful 13-year old daughter to add to our brood of boys.
As a wife, mother, daughter, friend & sister, God has provided abundantly to me â giving me everything I have needed and more. In truth, any dark times in my life have always been overshadowed by the light of Christ – joy, hope and faith have not been sitting on the sidelines. I know God has a plan that far outweighs my imaginings. I trust Him.
âSheâs pink and wigglyâ, thatâs what they said passing me a photo of my daughter, 3months premature, weighing a tiny 1 pound. I was 18, scared and groggy from anaesthetic.
I was told of the baby inside me only 3 months earlier and strangely went insane for mint green. Booties, bibs, even the bath! I was broke and couldnât buy nice things for the nursery so I bought a roll of material, yep mint green, and made quilts, baby bag, bumpers everything was mint green.
At 23 weeks pregnant I was told my baby was coming early and was too small to survive. Somehow I found faith to believe if God wanted me to be a Mum I would be and if He didnât, I would accept His will. 2 weeks later I was traumatised, restricted to bed, wheeling between the birthing suite and the ward and back again, told my baby was coming, then wasnât, I couldnât cope anymore, I cried out to God âPlease knock me out and wake me when itâs over!â.
The next morning they knocked me out (Emergency caesarean). They told me my daughter had a 50% chance of survival, they wheeled my bed towards hers in the ICU, I noticed the other babies were all wearing bonnets. Boys in blue, girls in pink, but I knew God was watching over her when I saw the one and only mint green bonnet sitting on her tiny head. Now 16yrs old, miraculous proof of Godâs exisitence!
Too sweet, Sister! This is so how He works! Thank you for sharing!
With my mind racing, my heart broken, and tears stinging my eyes , I reached for my Bible looking for words of encouragement and comfort. I found Psalm 91:4 He will cover you with His feathers and under His wings, you will find refuge, His faithfulness will be your shield and rampart. We could not look at each other without tears streaming down our faces; our hearts were broken. Could the words that were just spoken really be true? Mrs. Fuller, in order to live you are going to need a heart transplant and we need to begin the process of testing so that we can put you on the waiting list. Really? This cannot be true. We were having a hard time processing this information.
Silently, in my mind I tell Jesus that He knows that I am the scaredest girl in the world. I just did not think I was the one for this. I was so afraid. He quietly spoke to my heart. This is going to be hard, but I will be with you. As I read Psalm 91, the image of a mamma bird gathering her babies under wing to protect them from the impending storm came to my mind. In that moment, I ran to my Savior, my only place of safety-my hiding place from this raging storm. This was only the beginning of a long treacherous journey, one with many dangerous curves and unknown terrain.
A few months later, we found ourselves embracing, holding tightly and saying good-bye to our 3 sweet children then 13, 8 and 7 and placing them in familyâs care as we headed the 3 Âœ hr trip to the hospital. With heavy hearts and tear stained faces, knowing that the inevitable was ahead, we knew we would be admitted for an indefinite period of time as we waited for this new heart.
The wait was long, hard and very difficult. I was hanging on to life by a thread. After about three weeks of waiting, everything went downhill. My husband stepped out of the room for a few minutes when my BP began plummeting. âDonât you do this to us! Jeannie, donât you leave us!â I hear the nurses saying as they are trying to get a blood pressure. The nurses call my husband back to the room so that decisions of care can be made. At this point, they asked him to make sure the family is on their way. In the midst of my failing health and this dire need, my husband asks the team to perform a surgery to place a machine that would take the workload off my heart. They were already discussing this as the next step but they tell him this is not a possibility due to the sudden fever I had developed. They cannot do surgery with a fever. There were no options left. My life is in Godâs hands.
During the night miraculously, I made a turn around and continued to get a little stronger over the next week. In seven days we get the call we had been waiting on âMrs. Fuller, we think we may have a heart for youâ. February 3, 2007 is the day I receive a new heart and a second chance at life. God sent a mysterious fever to prevent me from getting the machine that would have taken me off the waiting list for at least six weeks, which would have prevented me from receiving a perfect matching heart.
Our God is a God of miracles. I am living proof.
A note from my journal- April 2008
I went away for the first time since the transplant to the Beth Moore, Living Proof conference. A moment of victory as I sat in the arena, I am ALIVE. No shortness of breath, not increase heart rate, no tiredness. Alive and well- Thank you, Jesus!
Today, I squeeze the most out of life. I love being a wife, mom and telling others about my God any chance I get.
Ten years ago a friend and I started a women’s retreat. We were two tired, overextened mothers of young children, husband’s could not do enough, family didn’t understand, church not supportive enough, in debt…you name it, life was not what we imagined or wanted. The retreat, “Women’s Work”, tongue and cheek for our situation, is what we told God needed to happen to change everyone else’s attitude. Well, ten years later, ten retreats later, God turned all that bitterness and anger into a blessed time of fellowship for His glory. He engineered the whole process from two unlikely sources. Attitudes changed, ours. To God be the Glory.
I am a child of God, and the beloved of my sweet Jesus.
I am also a single mom, who has been given the joy and struggle of raising two teenagers with special needs. My story is a common one; one that should be the story of every daughter of the King, but it is the most extraordinary story ever told. My life story shines of Godâs faithfulness. Even though life is hard, He always gives me the power to carry on.
Things have never come easy for me and this past year has been almost unbearable at times with health problems, employment issues, and the everyday challenges of raising children and managing our home on my own. Life hits me hard, but no matter how many times I get knocked down, or how big the pit of despair I might be in, I have found that God always strengthens me, even if only to turn my eyes to Jesus and take hold of His hand. He gives me the courage to believe for something more than what my eyes can see, and He leaves me and those around me with no doubt that my ability to get up on my feet over and over again, and walk this path given to me, comes from Him alone.
Truly, âI can do all things through him who gives me strengthâ (Philippians 4:13) and this reality in my life fills my heart with love for my God whose faithfulness cannot be denied.
In 1999, I had been married 15 years and had come to the conclusion I was just never going to have a happy marriage. We were so far apart emotionally and spiritually and my mother had been through multiple divorces, so that was not an option. I had faith, but it was without relationship with my precious God. On Valentines day that year my father-in-law passed away after a ten year illness. My husband went to the funeral alone, I was asked not to attend. The weeks following that he was more distant and angry and then he went on a week long business trip. When he returned he told me he wanted a divorce. After several weeks of anguish, I discovered he was having an affair with a co-worker. He told me he loved her. I was heartbroken. I “happen” to be going through my first Bible study, Jesus The One And Only, and after weeks of uttering the words, there is no hope, I was doing my homework and there it was in black and white, Jesus said,”I am your hope”. I sobbed for an hour and was completely comforted by my sweet Jesus. God and only God prompted me to tell my husband that it wasn’t love that he felt, that he was trying to fill a hole in his soul with that relationship that ONLY God could fill. He was not a believer. I knew that I loved him completely and prayed daily for God to redeem my marriage and HE DID within the next four months. It took another eight years of consistent prayer for my husband for him to accept Christ as his LORD and savior. This May 19th, we celebrate our 28th anniversary and are more in love now than when we first got married. He is an amazing man of God and leads a men’s Bible study in our house every week.
…He has sent me to bind up the brokenhearted, to proclaim freedom for the captives and release from darkness for the prisoners, Isaiah 61:1b
This is late. I despise late. I am a teacher. If this gets chosen or at least read, I’ll know it is time.
I never thought that I have a testimony. You see, I was born to two great parents. I was a preacher’s kid. (And, not the worst of them, mind you). Pleaser should have been my middle name. I didn’t suffer abuse, divorce, tragedy, etc. About five years ago (I’m now 47), I began asking Jesus, “What is my testimony?” I so admire and esteem those God has delivered from drugs, alcohol, physical/verbal abuse… “Jesus, how can I even speak to people?” I thought. I’ve always known the “one” thing that could have kept me from serving Jesus the rest of my days. I called my sister first after I felt the Holy Spirit speak to my heart. I knew she would understand. Satan deceived me for many years into scaring me at the mention that “I survived church!” What?! That was my first response to the Holy Spirit. You are so right, but how would anyone understand? “They don’t have to” was the tug at my heart. I felt the Lord say, “Do you really understand the testimony of what others have endured?” No.
You see, I did not suffer any type of abuse in my home. However, I did survive abuse from the body of Christ. Verbal abuse is the big one. Being a P.K., I knew a lot more than most. There is so much more, but not enough space.
Statistically speaking, one in two preacher’s kids serve God after leaving their parents. I survived church. I’m a miracle!!!!
This is a Psalm I wrote in the Stepping Up bible study and it about sums it up:
At an early age, I knew I was different than my peers;
My desire to walk in your way, Lord, was often criticized throughout the years.
In an effort to be accepted, I succumbed to a life of sin, years of battling addiction and abuse to my body, a battle that I alone, could not win.
What had happened to the child in the beginning? This was not how it was supposed to be;
You were there teaching me lessons all along, but I was blind and could not see.
When I just couldn’t go anymore, I looked up and saw your Mighty hand to save;
Thank you, Lord, for renewing my heart, giving me a new set of glasses, and foremost, for keeping me from an early grave.
I often ask, “What made ME so worthy to be rescued from the pits of hell? Until we meet, I will not know the true answer, but in gratitude, I dedicate my life to You and will believe it was to live to tell.
My husband, Ryan, and I are building an amazing testimony of how the Lord has worked miracles in our lives, individually and together. He’s not even close to being done! Every day God shows us something new in our marriage and in ourselves. What I want you to see is the progress we have made.
If I told you we almost called it quits, would you believe we’ve made it this far?
To be honest with you, there were times I just knew we wouldn’t make it.
God showed me how wrong I was.
The Lord wanted nothing more than to see our marriage work.
That’s how He designed it!
In the past (before we let God have control of our marriage) I tried to “fix” Ryan’s problems. Somehow or another, I thought I knew what was best for him. Did I stop to look at anything wrong with myself?
Heck, no! I was as close to perfect as it got! You may insert as much sarcasm as possible here!
First of all, shame on me! The things I was working on changing in my husband were the things that made him who he was. He is such a wonderful, good hearted man. What the heck was wrong with me???
Second, God doesn’t make mistakes and He sure didn’t start with my husband!
I’m not saying Ryan was perfect in this whole equation, but I wasn’t making anything easy on us either!
We didn’t stop to embrace what made us amazing together. We just saw the little flaws….
We didn’t stop to think about the promises we made to each other and to God.
We had a non-traditional family, a baby, and loads of stress piling up from every angle. It seemed like every time we turned around there was something else putting a strain on our marriage.I honestly believe we have been through more marital strain in our almost four years of marriage than your average ten year old marriage.
So what did we do? We kept on trying to fix things ourselves and keep everything hush-hush from our family and friends. I tried to medicate my problems away with hormones designed to fix hormones. I read book after book that guaranteed a way to fix our marriage. I talked until I was hoarse about what each expert said and what we should be doing.
Looking back, all I can say is, “What a joke!!!!”
All this led to was frustration when it didn’t work.
Guys, I wasn’t raised this way!
One thing my mother always taught me was to turn things over to the Lord.
Why couldn’t I do this????
It’s such a no brainer, simple concept.
Did I not trust the God that ensured my very own salvation to be able to save my marriage?
To this day, I cannot explain what held me back.
I was such a fool!
Looking back now, there was a specific breaking point for us. There came a time that two of the closest people to us saw what we had kept hidden. These people could have helped us long ago had we just asked for it. Not only did they give us methods to cope with some of the strain of outside forces, but they shared the most important coping method:
Allowing God to come into our lives and marriage!
Ryan and I both were Christians already, but we chose right then and there to give all of our worries, issues, and struggles to God.
That right there is what it’s all about!
The weight of the world was lifted from our shoulders.
God will provide every single time!
He surrounded us with His unconditional love and took care of us. He healed our hearts, strengthed the bond between us, and showed us a much better way to live.
The first thing I noticed was that God opened my eyes to my own faults and gave me a better heart to accept and truly love my husband. I walked away from all self-help books but one ~ The Bible. I stopped all medications and low and behold, my hormones acted better than they had since I was a teen! I prayed before I talked about touchy subjects between us. I am so thankful we traveled this road together. I wouldn’t change a thing about it because I am here now telling you how great my God is.
The biggest thing I have learned through this process is that God has shown me love and mercy when I least deserve it. It never ceases to amaze me. I have done so much wrong, He forgave it all.
Nineteen seventy-nine was hard. I lost my father, lost a baby girl at 26 weeks, and then my husband divorced me. I was 25, my son was four. Life moves at breakneck speed, no matter how much you need it to stop for you to grieve, or figure out how to cope. It never stops.
I shuffled forward, got a job, took care of my son, and rediscovered church fellowship. I met a guy, remarried, and had two beautiful girls. Despite my appearance as a functioning wife and mother, on the inside I was numb. It was a downward spiral; the harder I tried the more depressed I became. I took anti-depressants, went to therapy, and hit bottom. A glorious bottom!Â
At the bottom, I discovered God’s all-sufficient love. His love and grace that have nothing to do with my worthiness. I finally got it; no, I finally felt it. After internalizing that truth and feeling that love, it no longer mattered that my parents had abandoned me, or that my first husband had emotionally abused me and left me, or that I’d experienced any of the other painful wounds I carried deep within. None of it could stand up to the incredible flood of joy and peace that washed over me at Jesus’ feet. Beth led me there.
The journey was difficult; painful, long. But my desperate search brought me God’s healing touch. I surrendered to Jesus at eleven; but I didn’t let Him set me free until I was fifty-one. Forty years of wandering in the wilderness; I’m home now.
Sent from my iPad
I know I missed the deadline and nearly tripled the word count limit but I felt led to share God’s story in my life after reading the post this evening.
I am from a long line of dysfunctional families. I was born out of wedlock. My parents were emotionally and physically unavailable much of my childhood. I was sexually assaulted when I was 7 by a neighbor. I completely suppressed these and other similar memories until God brought me to a place where He could begin healing me.
The first sexual encounter I had with my future husband (when I was 14 and he was 17) can be described as sexual assault. The relationship was extremely dysfunctional from the beginning. We were both so broken. I had our daughter out of wedlock when I was 16 and married my babyâs daddy when I was 17 and he was 20. I chose to marry him partly because of a sense of obligation to pay penance for my sexual sin (I was raised in the Catholic Church) and partly to have a partner to improve my chances of completing college so that I could provide for my daughter. One son, a couple separations, infidelity by both of us and 15 years into this marriage we found ourselves on the brink of divorce. God intervened and saved our marriage by teaching us His Truth about marriage through scripture.
I began praying to God to reveal truth and to change me from the inside out. Several godly women encouraged me to begin studying Godâs word. Beth Mooreâs âBreaking Freeâ was the first organized bible study I attended. Beth inspired me to seek my own passion for Godâs word. There was a period of growth in Godâs truth. We were blessed with another daughter in 2004.
The memories of the childhood sexual abuse surfaced in 2005. As I began the process of recovery with the help of Christian counseling and support groups, I felt like I was unraveling. Several years into this recovery process, the realization that my husband was not only my surrogate abuser but also had sexually assaulted me when I was 14 was devastating truth that explained the deep contempt and hatred my behavior revealed. It also revealed the horror that I was married to one of my abusers and I had no idea how that could be healed.
God has faithfully pursued me all of my life. He gave me the ability to study His word to learn more about who He was after I asked for Him to reveal Truth and change me from the inside out. As I wrestled with my very broken heart and a God that I did not trust, His word gently led me through the process of healing.
Today the future of my marriage is uncertain because my husband is no longer committed to what he calls coexistence under the same roof. He has been so wounded by our extreme dysfunction over the past 27 years and is so exhausted from his legalistic effort to be a good husband despite my rage and emotional abuse.
But God has freed my heart from the deeply buried lies. He has replaced these lies with His Truth. He has moved the head knowledge to my heart. He has rewired my brain. He has given me the ability to trust Him. He has given me security rooted in Him. He has brought me to a place of believing I am His beloved and have been made right by Jesus. I am free to honestly look at my sinful nature and live a lifestyle of repentance while I am here on this earth with daily dependence on the Gospel.
I am finally healed enough to reenter into an emotionally dangerous marriage relationship with my husband because my security is from God and not dependent on my husbandâs emotional health. God has clearly given me a mission to love and respect my husband no matter his behavior and rejection. I cannot do this on my own. I am fully dependent on God to supply my every need. God has been teaching me about healthy relationship through His Word. He has been teaching me about forgiveness. I am finally able to pursue beginning an authentic healthy emotional relationship with my husband for the first time in 27 years.
This testimony is still in progress. The process of reconciliation of my marriage is in God’s hands. My God has rescued me and set my feet upon a firm foundation. I am His. I believe and trust God no matter the circumstances of my life. I am living proof that God will answer the heartfelt plea to reveal truth and to be changed from the inside out. I have learned how to love from a God who loves me passionately!
Before Jesus, I was a sad girl that LOST her parents by 13 years old. LOST security, home and friends. LOST a sense of belonging among a big crazy family trying to care for helpless children. I LOST my way in college with the things that generally happen in college. LOST money because I thought new stuff would buy me happiness but then I FOUND my man and he lead me to FINDING love, FINDING church and FINDING Jesus. And in FINDING Jesus, I FOUND truth, grace, mercy, forgiveness and life! Praise the LORD!
I was too young to remember how old I was when this happened, but I have never forgotten what I felt that day. I was at church with my mom and I was always captivated by the crucifix hanging behind the altar. Jesus hung there, with a crown of thorns around his head, nails driven through his hands and feet and a wounded side. I couldn’t understand why he was treated so badly. What did he do to deserve this kind of death? I know why now, He did this for me, a sinner. Redeemed by this free gift from God, through Christ Jesus. That day in church, I began feeling a very warm tingle start at the tips of my toes and then continue throughout my whole body, to the very top of my head. It made me feel very special. Thinking back as an adult, I believe I was touched by God that day.
At the age of 33, I was diagnosed with Multiple Sclerosis. I was without hope. I know that God is using me as living proof because when I share my story, it helps people with their own troubles and they can see that God is alive and active in my life. Some people can’t believe I can be so happy while dealing with this chronic illness, but I know why and I tell them, it is my relationship with Jesus. I found my hope again, by seeking Jesus.
Andrea Porter
I am so bummed đ My first entry never got posted and I know I posted it the first time on the 25th of April. I kept looking for it to show up and it never did show up. So I reposted on May 1st, so I missed the deadline of midnight on the 26th of April. Sad face. The testimonies that I have read so far, are just amazing, thanks for sharing Siestas. Happy face đ
Andrea, I’m not sure exactly what happened, if it was a technical difficulty or if we made a mistake. In any case, I’m sure sorry your entry never got posted on the 26th. Love, M.
Thanks Melissa,
I appreciate you responding to my reply. However, it’s a God thing because my Mom and I are going to be at Living Proof Live in Reading, PA in September. We already have our wrist bands and lunch tickets. I have attended several of these events, but it will be a first for my Mom. I can’t wait, to be there with her and watch her reaction. We a both very excited, to get to fellowship with you and your mom and a bunch of other believers in the same arena. Almost forgot to add Mr. Travis and the Praise Team, she is gonna LOVE the whole experience. Your post about your friend passing was so poignant and touched my soul. To lose a loved one, a friend or even an acquaintance is difficult to be certain. There are millions of comforting words I could use, but simply stated, I am so sorry for your loss.
Blessings,
Andrea
p.s. sorry for the late reply, I have been away from the MAC, these last few days. đ
I was 6 years old when I was taken to the emergency roomâŠ.my step-father had paddled me so hard with a wooden paddle that my parents feared my tailbone was broken. It was later that DHS would be called to my house because⊠I had bruises and was being raised by two alcoholic/drug addict parents.
I learned early how to keep secrets. âDonât tell what goes on in this houseâ, âthat your parents fight, that you get beat for telling a lie (as most children learn to do)â.
I lived in fear, misery and kept secrets. I hated my homeâŠI was dying inside and crying out for something.
My step-father soberedâŠmy mother chose a worse path.
God sent me a friend whose family had it together. By Godâs divine ways she took me to church & I accepted Jesus that night!!
As a teenager I rebelled against my step-father whom I was left to live with. I was told that I was nothing but a slut and would be nothing when I grew up because I didnât conform to his ways.I moved in with my mother, because I refused to leave her during a visit. I chose a hard path!! A mother that didnât care if I went to school, drugs, alcohol and choosing to have two abortions would soon bring me to my knees. AND IT DID!
I am living proof- you can run from God and take your own path, but EVERY child of God comes back one way or another! I came back to God!! I no longer live in bondage or fear any longer!
Just chiming in to say that I thought of this post on my drive home this afternoon. Every day I drive on the stinkin’ highway without paralyzing anxiety is living proof of God’s saving grace. I proclaim it out loud while I drive and want to do so here, too, because, when you are in the grip of phobias, even the most basic tasks can seem beyond you. Thank you, Lord.