I am just beside myself about something. The LifeWay event team (in charge of all the Living Proof Lives, Going Beyonds, Abundance events, etc) thought up such fun ideas for the booklet that participants will get at the LPL Simulcast on September 15, 2012. One of them involves you. They want to hear testimonies from you about how you are living proof that God’s Word is alive and active and that His Son redeems. (This is not meant to have anything to do with me or with this ministry. It’s about YOUR own personal story with Jesus.) They are going to go through each one of them, find a great cross section of testimonies, select 5 stories and add them to the booklet for the whole simulcast community to read! And, that, Sister, will be a batch of women from all over the place.
Here’s what you do: In a comment to this post, write a 200-250 word testimony about how God has accomplished a work in you or through you that leaves no other viable explanation (in your eyes) than Himself. Use your words carefully and save them all for your testimony! You might consider doing it on a word document then cutting and pasting it into a comment so you can really think about what you want to say. Your participation through a comment will act as your automatic release for the publication of your testimony if yours is selected, SO, be sure, Sweet Thing, that you don’t say more than you mean to. You know your blog mama’s trying to protect you here.
Listen, these will be such a blast because, even if only 5 get to be selected for the booklet, just think how we are going to encourage one another and build up each other’s faith! NOT ONE STORY WILL BE WASTED. Thousands of eyes see these posts and comments. Girlfriend, T-E-S-T-I-F-Y! I will be sitting on pins and needles to watch these come in. Let’s call the deadline for your entries midnight on Thursday, April 26th.
The five who are selected will be contacted by LifeWay and will win the following:
- Free registration of the 2012 Living Proof Live simulcast for a small group of 7-14 of your friends!
- Free copy of Praying God’s Word
- Free James member book (I realize lots of you may already have one of these but I’ll get these five signed if you want.)
- A special section in the Living Proof Live simulcast listening guide including YOUR story, Girlfriend! (We’ll want your picture, too, if you’re willing to submit it to us. You’ll be contacted and asked for it if you are selected.)
One of the things we’re so excited about this year for our Living Proof Live Simulcast is that, for the very first time, small groups and INDIVIDUALS are able to participate. If it’s anything like previous years, women will be joining us from church buildings, military bases, and prisons, but this year for the FIRST TIME, also from living rooms and couches. You can watch all day in your jammies if you want to!
If this event sounds fun to you, go ahead and get that thing on the calendar: September 15, 2012. We are believing God to permeate walls, embattled minds, and rock-hard hearts and speak words of life, freedom, redemption, ministry. AND UNITY, for crying out loud.You game??
I love you guys so much. Can’t wait to hear from you!
From LifeWay:
If you would like more information about the simulcast or how you can be a host, visit www.lifeway.com/lplsimulcast.
🙂
I grew up a good girl. I was in church three times a week, a straight-A student, and the “mother” of my friends. I married while still in college, graduated with honors and we soon had two kids. Seven years into our marriage my husband and I were struggling and I soon found myself in a full-blown emotional affair. I was convinced I had missed my true love and this was the guy who really got me. Thank the Lord for my Godly husband who felt led to ask me about this relationship. I confessed it all and over time my husband forgave me. Since, I’ve felt like scales have fallen off my eyes and I see the real truth of what was happening. Satan was trying to destroy what God meant for good. We have since both worked on issues and have found more happiness than we ever have. We will be celebrating fourteen years of marriage this year and also have been approved for an adoption. God has shown Himself in ways I could only dream and I’m so thankful that He never let me go. His love is the only true love and he shows himself faithful, careful, gentle and forgiving. Praise God!
Beautiful testimony of what the Lord can do in our lives if we just give it all to Him.
A saved marriage! Praise the Lord!
About 8 yrs ago I really started doubting God and His existence. I had been divorced with a baby. Looking for happiness in all the wrong things. Married for a 2nd time and still not happy. Actually bitter might be a better description. I just couldn’t grasp why bad things happen to good people. What is the point of our life on this earth, was this really all there was to it? One day at work I felt an overwhelming urge to pray. I had not prayed in years but did so that day. A couple of hours later God answered my prayer. Me and one of the ladies I worked with were talking and another coworker, (one I had not talked to and didn’t know) came up and told us of her Dad’s passing a month earlier. She told us about visions of heaven he had. That in itself was amazing but what did it for me was – the things he saw were IDENTICAL to a dream my grandfather had before he died. I knew at that moment that God was telling me just how real He was. My life changed that day and I am so grateful God didn’t give up on me! My marriage was given new life by becoming Christ centered; I had joy and peace that I never knew before. I had a hunger for God’s word and NONE of this was by anything I had done. It was God’s amazing grace, no question!
God has transformed my life through the power of His Word! I was raised in the Word by Godly parents, and I am thankful for the seeds they planted. But, it wasn’t until after I got out on my own and found myself wandering, seemingly aimlessly, through life that I realized the true transforming power of the Word. I had made some poor choices along my journey and let myself come to a place of true complacency in my walk with the Lord. But, He is so loving and the Holy Spirit never let go of me. He led me to a thriving church family and a Godly workplace and those planted seeds resurfaced. I began memorizing His Word and speaking it, out loud, daily. His Word took up residence in me and began convicting me, releasing me, strengthening me, encouraging me and breathed joy into my soul! I always think about Moses’ words in Deuteronomy 32:47, speaking about the Lord’s law saying, “They are not just idle words for you—they are your life.” The words in Scripture are not just ink on paper. When I obeyed God and set them to memory, they became a part of me. And I know that when I say those Scriptures, with every Word of God I exhale anxiety and make room for joy. And pretty soon, the joy of the Lord flows in. That’s a promise for everyone and I pray that everyone will live to breathe His Word!
Lydia, Savannah, Georgia
.. “with every Word of God I exhale anxiety and make room for joy”… that ministered to me – thank you.
What encouragement for all of us! Thank you for sharing.
Only God can turn chaos into order. I’m helpless at keeping records straight, remembering birthdays with a card, knowing where to find things, or understanding why the bank reports a balance that is so much different from the one I have in my ledger. Even getting dressed in the morning is a chore. However, since God is a God of order, and wants me to be like Him, and has all the answers to everything we need, it finally dawned on me to ask him for help. I remembered something my friend Nancy C. told me years ago as I admired her organizational skills. “Believe me” she laughed,”it’s ALL GOD! I don’t have an organizational bone in my body!” One of my friends recently commented on how “type A” I must be, because she had seen how thoroughly I was prepared for some classes that I teach, and it was my turn to say, “Believe me, it’s ALL GOD!” I still forget birthdays, can’t keep the bank statement balanced, and my address book is a hodge-podge of papers, sticky-notes, cross outs and sharpie write-overs, but I thank God every day for helping me find things and organize a little bit here and a little bit there. Why does He care for those little things? Such love. Thank you, Jesus. Thank you. Thank you, Thank You.
I am living proof that God’s Word is alive because He took a hard hearted agnostic and saved me. I wasn’t looking for Him, not going through a hard time and was completely satisfied with my life. I was more surprised than anyone when the Lord saved me. My daughter invited me to go to Church with her on Easter 1995. I was interested in what I heard and went back to hear more. I had such a small amount of faith at first and I told God I had to know for certain that He was really real. He had to prove it to me. In my immaturity I felt I needed to help Him (!) so I made a deal with Him. I told Him I would read my bible, only read Christian Books (an avid reader), listen to Christian radio and Christian music. He immediately began showing me He was indeed real by answering prayers that only He could accomplish. The first thing He did was clean up my dirty mouth. I could not even stand to hear profanity much less say it. Jeremiah 29:13-14b is a promise of God that He fulfilled in my life in a big way. Praise God that He does not wash His hands of us and give up on us.
What a beautiful testimony.
God will fix all of our flaws if only we will listen and let Him. Thank you for sharing your testimony.
What is the deadline for entries?
Hmmmm, Jess! Good question! I know you guys would have at least until mid-week next week. I’ll add that to the post. Thank you!
Great question – thanks for the quick response, Beth!
The proof is in the story! We’re still here! 27 years ago I found myself with child and scared. Having just graduated from Bible College and going out on my own and being influenced by the ways of the world I found myself in a life changing predicament. There was no where to turn and I even contemplated an abortion. Though, just a few months before this, I had been in touch with an old boyfriend whom I hadn’t seen in over 2 years. He became my touchstone to my faith but there was no “romance” between us. A few phone calls and the fact that my family was employed at a Bible College and this would be quite the scandal I chose to marry this old boyfriend. I flew in on a Saturday and we drove towards Vegas. I was married the next morning at 21 to a man I hadn’t seen for 2 years. We were both two lonely souls and had absolutely no idea what we were doing! Needless to say it was hard…it was humiliating…it was sad. Fast forward 27 years and it is by Gods grace and His ability to work all things together for good that we are still a family. We not only have our beautiful 26 year old daughter but 6 more beautiful children that have brought us so much that I could not have begun to imagine back in September of 1985. God is amazing and I love Him so much!
cool story! God is so good!
Wow! Amazing what the Lord will do if we give it all to Him!
Growing up on the mission field as a missionary kid and in a church-going, God-loving home, I knew I was loved by God since I can remember. And I knew I needed to do good and love Him just as well. I came to the realization of my need for a Savior one night when I was 7 years old. It was a need that overwhelmed me emotionally and I couldn’t wait one more day. I was baptized in the ocean in the Philippines. I’m 30 years old now. I don’t have a dramatic testimony to give. I didn’t take a sip of alcohol till well into my marriage of 10 years, never did drugs, and I saved myself for marriage. I used to think, “How could my testimony impact anyone? There’s nothing powerful about it.” But just about 4 years ago, the Lord gave me Psalm 124 through “Stepping Up”. “If the Lord had not been on [my] side”, with my humanness, I would be one wild girl: partying, heartbroken with a raging temper; an emotional wreck and one very impatient woman. Imaging what my life might have been like “if the Lord had not been on our side” is scary. The Lord has protected me from so much over my life. Praise God for protecting me from so much. God is on my side because He chooses to be. He’s on your side, too.
Ashley,
My husband and I grew up in church. He was on the cradle-roll and I wasn’t on a cradle-roll, but do not recall a time when church wasn’t a part of my life. All that to say neither of us had a “dramatic conversion experience” nor did we have what we thought to be “dramatic” testimonies until some years ago God revealed that our testimonies were dramatic in their own way. Instead of being saved “out” of any devastingly, worldly lifestyle, we both had been saved “from” enduring what a worldy lifestyle would have meant. What a blessing we received as God cared for and nurtured us throughout our entire lives and protected us from all the evil we could have been a part of.
Thank you for your testimony.
Ashley and Marcia –
I love this reverse perspective. Saved from vs saved out of…
Thank you.
YES! That’s exactly it — saved from! Love that.
Thank you for this testimony. I am raising my children to believe in God and pray every day that they are walking a life (as well as me) that reflects God in them. Powerful testimonies like yours show me that it is possible to raise godly children in a very ungodly world. Praise God for stories like yours 😉
Yes, Amen, Deb!
Ashley,
You have a wonderful testimony! Praise God!
Thank you Joyce!
AMEN SISTER. A-M-E-N. YES.
Due to a serious and unfair accusation from a friend, my credibility was damaged and friendships were lost. Regrettably, I added to my turmoil by returning to an eating disorder and other destructive behavior. Television, Reader’s Digest, even spending time with close friends couldn’t calm the knots in my stomach.
Millie and Paul, a married couple and dear friends, believed in my innocence and were concerned when they noticed I was losing weight and constantly in tears. Concerned, they took me to a counselor. One of the best things the counselor did for me was to suggest that I memorize Scripture. She showed me how to make and use Scripture memory cards; and soon, I was memorizing several verses a week.
I began to carry my Scripture cards with me, and meditated on them constantly throughout the day: at red lights, while waiting in line, and especially when facing challenging moments. And as I did, I experienced more of God’s faithfulness in my daily life. In effect, my love for Him deepened and I began to feel His presence.
As I persisted, I became aware of God’s powerful love for me. Thankfully, I was able to find my significance in Jesus—not in others’ opinion of me. And each time I chose to obey Him, rather than giving into past temptations, my confidence grew in His ability to help me obey Him the next time, too.
I have been eating disordered free for over ten years!
Thank God for releasing you from your stronghold. Thank you for sharing. So many women have eating disorders and suffer in silence while the world goes by unaware. Praying your testimony will touch some needy soul today. God bless!
It was a dark day in May, and not because of the weather. I had just been told by my husband and two sons that they were going on vacation and I was invited, but if I did not behave I would be put on a plane and sent back home. My oldest son at the time was 15, and my youngest was 11. The word devastated does not even come close to describing how I felt. It had nothing to do with vacation. It was the hard cold realization that the destruction of my marriage and family had fallen to an all time low.
My husband and I had been battling for years. The talk of divorce was as common as talking about what was for dinner. We had been married for 16 years and struggled for most of that time…..with each other. And, we went to church. Not only did we go to church, we each held leadership roles in some form or fashion.
The details are unimportant, but what is important is how God did a wonderful thing.
I chose to stay home while my family went on that beautiful trip to the beaches of Hawaii. While they were surfing in the ocean, I was sinking in a sea of despair. I made up my mind to leave. I had had it. I met with an attorney and spent hours gathering my sources and support. I was ready, except for one thing, I couldn’t do it. I physically could not do it. It was as if someone had taken a hammer and nailed my feet to floor. It wasn’t just someone, it was God. He made me accountable to a promise I had made years ago.
My family came home from that trip, and we have never been the same. It has taken years of forgiveness and much time in prayer, but we are still a family. I am so thankful and give God all of the praise and glory. When the going gets tough…….. go to God.
Sweet sister! Thank you for sharing your painful experience to help others going through the same experience. Your saved marriage is a wonderful testimony to God’s love. Blessings!
When I was born, I was given up for adoption at birth due to numerous congenital birth defects. I had a team of doctors that directed my care due to my numerous problems at birth. I was immediately placed for adoption with AGAPE of North Alabama which is a Christian adoption agency. When my adopting parents met with my team of doctors they were told I would never walk, I would never talk without major speech therapy and I would require constant 24/7 care. They were advised they did not want to adopt me & that they should wait on a “healthy baby” considering how long they had been waiting to adopt. Despite these overwhelming odds, my parents chose to adopt me. They believed God’s words in Jeremiah 29:11 that God had a plan for me and they wanted to be part of it. Despite numerous surgeries, teetering on death’s door a few times and lots of doctor visits God healed me and made me completely whole. According to doctors, I shouldn’t be here today but God literally took an “unadoptable” child and gave me hope, a life and a future. Today, I have overcome all odds placed against me and live life to the fullest. I am married to the most amazing husband, we have 3 beautiful children, we are active in our church, I have done mission work in Siberia, Russia & Peru and our family is moving to become full-time missionaries in July 2012!
Read my full testimony here: http://grettajohns.blogspot.com/2012/03/guess-whos-having-birthday.html
This touched my heart so much! Thanks for sharing!!
wow!!! what an amazing testimony!!!!!! thanks for sharing!!!
What a wonderful testimony! Your parents had faith in you and loved you right along with God who made you whole. Blessings!
My husband and I call it the “Dark Summer” (yes, I have a flare for the dramatic) and smile about it now, but it was no laughing matter. I had a 3 year old and a 4 month old, and I was so terribly depressed. I always thought of myself as a person who had it all figured out. I graduated with honors from college, got married to the man of my dreams, and now am blessed to be a stay at home mom. None of that mattered during the summer of 2010. I had been active in a Bible study with my girlfriends for 2 years, but I stopped going. Oh, Lord, why did I turn away from You when You are the only One who can heal my heart? After many weeks of screaming and crying (both the kids and me), my husband urged me to go back to Bible study. I thank God every morning for blessing me with a courageous man who LOVES Jesus Christ! I started getting into the Word again, attending church and Sunday school every week, and I was on my knees in front of my Lord. Words cannot express the peace, joy, thanksgiving and exhilaration I received from Christ during that year and continue to receive from Him. I am living proof as a wife and mother that God brought me out of the pit and restored me. And you know what the best thing is? He isn’t done with me yet!
Just that sentence “I had a 3 year old and a 4 month old” brought back memories of my own bout with depression with I had a 3 yr. old and 4 month old. : ) But God got me through it too. : ) Praise Him!
I was raised in a Christian home, but still needed to learn my own way in life. A big life-changer for me was becoming pregnant in highschool. I had my son Ethan when I was 18 years old. My realtionship with Ethan’s dad ended and I was worried I would be single forever. I learned to depend on God so much during that time. It was very difficult. God taught me so much about trust, perseverance and through all that, hope. When Ethan was six months old God brought a man into my life, who was recently divorced, and had a daughter. We married and have been for 8 1/2 years now. Both our children live with us full time and we had two more together. A blended family is a very challenging path in life but God has been so faithful. Through my single-parenting experience, I learned life lessons that help me with my family. I feel so blessed and thankful for all God has done. The amazing thing is to see how God uses my experiences to bless others. Glory to His Name, God is so good. My story for His glory!
I need to add that the Lord gave me Jeremiah 29:11 which has helped my husband, Gord, and I so much in our situation. It is life saving. (“For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you a hope and a future.”)
I came to Christ as a broken teenager and He has given me a life I could have never dreamed of. When I look back at all He has done, my response is like that inappropriate, wrongly timed, too loud laugh that erupts in the silence of a sanctuary. It’s a shocked, are-you-kidding-me, awestruck, erupting-with-joy laugh.
I laugh in disbelief at how God’s changed that heap of a girl He took in His hands back then, but also because it’s an absolute miracle that I can still laugh at all. In the decade since my groom and I wed, we have been blessed with six babies. We are raising three beautiful girls, we buried their five day old baby sister, and we never met the other two sweet treasures waiting for us. He let our lives shatter and fall to the ground… then He painstakingly starting putting the pieces back together. And let me tell you – this creation is something else!
In lifting my eyes to heaven forever, God has radically changed me. I am leading my eighth Bible study. We are foster parents – 13 have come and gone so far – with hopes of adopting someday. I have been an advocate for children and families in the public school system and now I am embarking on a new journey as a Christian pregnancy counselor to birth moms contemplating adoption or grieving the loss thereafter. The Lord has used every pain, tear, and flame to make me just who He meant me to be.
i once thought i had it figured out. i did what i was supposed to do: i went to church, i sat quietly, i went to a private christian college, but i hated myself and the world. i was trying to please other people. i did it because i was told that’s what i’m supposed to believe, and i was living a lie. i didn’t have anything figured out, and the world was only allowed to see my mask. i was slowly killing myself, trying to fill the hole that was sitting in the middle of my heart. i drank too much, took too many drugs, slept with too many people, cut too deep, had too many struggles, and tried to kill myself more than once. i never thought i was what God wanted. i was too broken, too dirty, too unlovable for God, and the thought of being hurt scared me so much, that i built walls surrounding me. the walls were reinforced titanium steel and i was sure that no one, even God, would be able to tear them down and hurt me. but God had other plans and people were praying- most were people i had never met before. sitting in the passenger seat of a friend’s car, i gave up. i gave up trying to control my life with only disastrous results and instead, i told Jesus that i love him. it was simple, it was real, and it was beautiful. i’m no longer what i’ve done or what has been done to me, instead i am His daughter, clothed in a white dress, made new, clean, and free.
{I can’t wait to read everyone’s}
Wow Brittany. What an awesome testimony! I’m so happy for you! Praise God.
I went to church most of my life but I wasn’t looking for God. I am convinced He was chasing after me and would not give up, until I was His.
All the years when I did nothing to deserve God’s grace and mercy He gave it freely. He helped me graduate from college. He provided me with the man that would be my children’s father and my husband. He gave me my first born child, when I had prayed to the God I had mostly shunned to just give me a baby.When I miscarried twice after her, I resigned to having no more children. Then, God, in His everpresent grace and mercy, surprised me with my son. AND THIS WAS ALL BEFORE I committed my life to Him!
I was NOT looking for him, but He never gave up on me. When I didn’t honor Him or even acknowledge him, He gave me His best. He always does.
In January 2010 during a Bible Study in our church’s childrens area (Stepping Up: A Journey Through the Psalms of Ascent), Jesus came into my heart and flooded my soul. He demolished strongholds and addictions that kept me from Him and provided unexplainable peace.
Now I live my life as a YES. I had always said NO to God, or anything else really I wasn’t comfortable with or that scared me a little. But, I am resetting my default button to say YES to God.
Only HE could save a wretched, pitiful sinner and use her to His Glory. At nearly 40 years of age, HE introduced HIMself. HE turned my life upside down. HE changed my sarcastic mouth, filled with profanity and uses it to praise HIS Name. HE alone could use my past to bring people into a relationship with HIM. HE has given me peace, mercy and grace. HE continues to teach me love. HE has taken away not only the sarcasm and profanity, but even the shame of my past.
I was divorced and without direction. Then I had a health scare that began my journey to question what I believed. I seriously doubted HIS existence so I began to ask people I trusted what they thought about death and God. Then HE introduced me to my future husband who began teaching me, or should I say arguing with me about the Bible. This made me even more curious.
I slowly began to experience His Peace, until finally I prayed.
HE is still answering my prayers. HE continues to teach me about HIS Bible, HIS Ways, HIS Truth.
In the last 20+ years HE has even given me a happy marriage, sweet, Godly mentors, a desire to read and study HIS Word, and, amazingly, what I need to even memorize Scripture. I love HIM, too.
10 years ago I had a very serious suicide attempt. By the grace of God and by the very breathe of God he breathed life back into me. I have struggled with depression and suicidal thoughts for many years. While I never attempted again (I was scared of failing again), I still suffered with demonic thoughts of taking my own life. I believed lies that told me that I was unlovable and worthless. Many close to me during these last 10 years would not even know how I still battled these lies. Prior to going to Living Proof live in Kansas City last weekend, the Holy Spirit began a work in me. He began revealing to me the lies. I grew up in an abusive home. The spirit of the Lord spoke to me and said, “Abuse has been a set up to extinguish you – to snuff out your life. I am the light, I gently blew on a flame nearly snuffed out and brought you back by my grace.” Last weekend, during worship I felt a strong desire to repent for my suicide attempt. I did not feel guilt but I felt gratitude for Christ’s loving mercy that nursed me back. I believe that God has waited 10 years for me to repent and be totally made whole. Hope is now anchored in my heart in a way that I have never known. I traded in the lies, discouragement, doubt and fear for hope and stability only found in Jesus Christ.
Courtney,
Thank you for sharing your testimony. It is so encouraging to hear His redemptive work only 6 days ago!!! Follow hard after Him 🙂
Praise God for His Amazing Grace! What a testimony you have, Courtney!
Oh, Sisters! These are just fabulous! Just exactly what they are looking for. Keep them coming! No telling how God will use them. Father, draw attention to Your Son! Save, rescue, deliver and redeem. Our accuser is overcome by the Blood of the Lamb and the word of our testimony!
Just a few short years ago,I was in a dark place. My darkness was feelings of disappointment, emptiness, and that I was never enough. Sin had a hold on me in every imaginable way. I had a past to be ashamed of and I was drowning. I didn’t want to live like this and I needed someone to love me unconditionally, to fight for me and tell me that I was not worthless.
In my mind, I believed in Jesus and did not question the word, but I was still without direction and purpose. I knew that Christ died on the cross for ME and that I was forgiven of my sins, but still I did not comprehend that I needed to surrender myself to Him or that if by doing so, I could find peace, patience, direction and a love that nobody else could ever feel for me. If I had known these things, then maybe I wouldn’t have felt that “I am not enough.” I hadn’t accepted Him into my heart yet. What a difference there is from having knowledge of Him in your head, and knowing Him personally in your heart.
I remember vividly the day and time that Christ came knocking on my door. I want to say that I had fallen, but I think I was lowered to my knees that day. I was sunk in a deep sadness that no doctor could help me with and no substance could numb. I was a few short steps away from a very wrong kind of eternity. I prayed to my Father to save me from the life I was drowning in and he took my hand and saved me and released me. My Father fought for me. My Father accepted me and I gave my life to Him.
Titus 3:3-7 At one time we were too foolish, disobedient, deceived and enslaved by all kinds of passions and pleasures. We lived in malice and envy, being hated and hating one another. But when the kindness and love of God our Savior appeared, He saved us, not because of righteous things we had done, but because of his mercy. He saved us through the washing of rebirth and renewal of the Holy Spirit, whom He poured out on us generously through Jesus Christ our Savior, so that, having been justified by grace, we might become heirs having the hope of eternal life.
Psalm 40:2-3 He lifted me out of the slimy pit, out of the mud and mire; he set my feet on a rock and gave me a firm place to stand. He put a new song in my mouth, a hymn of praise to our God. Many will see and fear the LORD and put their trust in him.
My heart is thoroughly saturated with an understanding that I cannot put into words. I know that I do have a purpose and a desire to know God more and more. I want to spread the word about the amazing love that he has for us. I want others to see what I can finally see and for them to know that Christ can heal our hearts and change our lives and take away the “old man” that is enslaving them. I want others to know that our Father is fighting for them. I pray that by living a life for Christ, that others will see it. That they will see that I have been changed inside and allow me to share with them the gift that I have received from God, and that gift is readily available to them too and that He is waiting for them.
My 19-month-old daughter, our only child, died in her sleep on February 23, 2012. The doctors still don’t know why. The autopsy revealed a perfectly healthy child, and she was out of the age range for SIDS.
We were devastated by this loss. Friends and family rallied around us, constantly asking if we were okay and how our marriage was faring. So I wrote a blog to honor my daughter, chronicle the experience, and reassure people that my husband and I WOULD survive.
I believe it is natural for people to be angry with God when tragedy strikes. But all I’ve been able to do is thank God for giving her to me. I never felt angry or thought he took her from me. In fact, I remember telling the paramedics who rushed to my house when I called 911, “I was so blessed to have had her.”
Through writing about the experience, I have realized that this ability to feel blessed in the wake of tragedy is a gift from God. God knows my pain intimately, and has blessed me with an ability to turn this experience into a closer relationship with Him – and through that, an ability to give others faith and hope through my writing.
I get emails every day from people thanking me for sharing my story, and for showing them a healthy, God-filled way of looking at events in their own lives. But the thanks shouldn’t go to me – they should go to God.
My Dear Jessica, I cried as I read your words. You are an inspiration and a hope to mothers everywhere reminding us how faithful and merciful God is in ALL things. Even the unspeakable ones.
My dear Sister thank you so much for sharing this.
As a child of 12 I walked the isle believing I was a follower of Christ after that. I was a good girl doing all the right things and only loving one guy (now 50 yrs this yr). At 30 He showed me I knew about Him but did not know Him. It was at that time I whole heartedly became a follower of Christ. Over the last 6 months I have had some health challenges and in the hospital. Now been diagonised with Sjorgrens Syndrom. While in the hospital I was having a pity party because I could not be at our Missions Fest as a leader and lover of missions. My Father as only He can do spoke clearly to me…you are not at Missions Fest but I have you on the mission field. I bagan to ask folks where they were from. From one Saturday to the next 22 differant countries cared for me and would listen as I told them how I once was blind but now I see. He reminded me that I could never have gone to all these countries to share His love..but He placed me where I needed to be to reach folks and give the hope and a future. Now as I go to the doctor He reminds me to carry a book for the doctor, candy for a nurse, ready to share about my Savior and for now this is my mission field. How sweet of my Father to allow me to be in on getting His message to some of the medical folks. Only God can set my feet on a sweet path of making Him known.
If the one man in a little girl’s life with whom she is supposed to trust with her life and love leaves her, what is going to make her think other men in her life won’t do the same? Her perception of God is no different. For years, I thought I had to earn God’s love. When I failed Him, I felt like I had to earn back His love with each failure. Years ago, I stumbled upon John 6:37. “All that the Father gives me will come to me, and whoever comes to me I will never drive away.” Those last two words – drive away – caught my eye. In the historical context of this verse, I realize Jesus isn’t talking about fathers leaving their families. I understand He was telling others in the passage that if they come to Him, He will never leave them. Yet, the phrase, “drive away,” stopped me in my tracks. As a young girl, I watched my dad drive away from our home and leave for good. The Lord used this verse to help me realize that Jesus loves me more than anyone will ever love me. I never have to live my life in fear that a day will come when He, my Abba, decides He’s had enough of me. There is NOTHING that I can do that will cause God to leave me. He sent His Son so that I could live with a guarantee that His love never fades.
I began my relationship with Jesus as a young girl and was told by many that God had big plans for me. I was sure they would involve being a missionary or a pastor’s wife since I thought that was what ministry really was. And while I was at it, I would have at least 2 kids to be my pride and joy. I kept living life waiting for the future to come – for the day when God would fulfill this big work that everyone kept talking about.
After marrying a Godly man with a pastoral degree, things couldn’t be progressing more nicely. Then the babies didn’t come right away, and when I finally found myself with child, God chose to use that sweet baby to help me see how important each life is, no matter its length, by taking her home when she was still inside my womb. As I prepared for emergency surgery to protect my own life that same day, God spoke to me in a powerful way. “I have you here for a purpose. Live it now. Use the calling and gifts I’ve given you.”
A year later, I held God’s miracle promise – a baby boy – in my arms and realized that I was called to real ministry, not vocational. Since then, my husband and I have learned to pursue God in our everyday actions and have found real ministry in the process: living now to bring glory to God and point others to Him.
When I was a child the state removed me from my parents. My father was in prison. My mother was unable to care for me. By age 17 I was living out on my own. My life reflected what any statistic would state I’d be. Then one day when I was 18, I decided to read the dictionary. I came across the word angel. This captured my attention because it made me ponder the existence of God. What if heaven was real? How do you get in? For the first time I wanted to read the Bible for myself. I wasn’t comfortable placing my eternity on other people’s opinions. I didn’t own a Bible but I went and got one. I was expecting to read what amounted to fairy tales. But what I encountered was heart convicting truth. I decided then and there to commit my life to God. The greatest miracle God did was cause me to hunger and thirst for righteousness. I couldn’t get enough of His Word. I asked Him to write it on my heart and He did. I became a living testimony of a life delivered from addiction and defeat. God blessed me with a godly husband and six children. Our whole family very actively serves inner city kids with backgrounds similar to mine. Only God.
I never cease to be amazed at the resources God uses to reveal Himself. A dictionary, of all things! That is so awesome.
I can’t remember the first time I was victimized. I was too young and it went on until I began puberty. I was a promiscuous preteen/teen and was all but raped by 16. I was devastated and was not going to lie around and be hurt so I buried it. I immediately got back into an abusive relationship. That, for some reason felt safe. When he pressed sex, I lost it with him and ended it quickly. I then began to really get into church and at age 17 I met my husband. We were married 18 months later. He had two children when we married and we quickly added two more. Fourteen years into our marriage I found myself in a really bad place, emotionally and spiritually. I felt that no one loved me and no one needed me. The abusive relationship that I ended as a teenager soon found his way back into my life. I was deep in an emotional affair which ultimately ended in a full blown affair. I also found myself seriously depending on alcohol, uppers and downers to just live day to day. I am happy to say that in August of last year the affair ended. I laid down the alcohol and pills and God picked me up, dusted me off, and set me on solid ground. He restored my family and it is stronger and better than it ever was. Breaking Free has really helped me.
My sin ravaged every fiber of my soul. My sin, according to Jesus, is the worst of them all. My label though, was not promiscuous, adulterer, alcoholic, drug addict, or murderer. It was Pharisee.
My sin was self-righteousness.
I spent my entire Christian life in bondage to the lie that Jesus’ perfect life, sacrificial death, and glorious resurrection weren’t enough. That I had to keep working, keep striving, keep earning to gain peace with and acceptance from God. That I had to gain God’s favor by being good enough. Grace was a foreign word to me. I never felt God was pleased with me. I knew He loved me (because He had to), but He didn’t really LIKE me. He was always a disappointed dad shaking his finger at me and saying, “Really? You did that AGAIN? Will you ever get it right?”
So, I spent my life trying to be good enough. I felt that God was pleased with me when I was a “good” Christian (you know exactly what I mean). But God was mad at me when I was bad.
Bondage…
Then God…
He gave a supernatural gift of the love of His Word (that I couldn’t possibly explain and that I definitely didn’t deserve)! I began to spend 3-4 hours a day in His Word and He transformed my mind. (I wish you could know how those four simple words are the understatement of the century!) He had to rip every false, demonic lie about Himself out of my tired, defeated heart. And He did, one by one, verse by verse.
One of the most memorable and defining moments was from Colossians 1:21-22. The Holy Spirit taught (and I mean, really taught) my heart: I WAS an enemy of God but Christ Himself is now presenting me to the Father HOLY, BLAMELESS, and FREE FROM ACCUSATION! FREEDOM! What a life-changing belief for a self-righteous Pharisee! No more earning. No more striving. No. More.
It. Is. Finished. Because of Jesus.
God chased me down in October of 1990. A sweet co-worker of mine had been asking me for several months to come to church with her but I simply wasn’t interested so refused her every invitation. She was gently persistent and finally I told her I would in hopes that in doing so she would drop the subject. I was saved a couple of weeks later at a revival service in her church and I’m telling you God was all over it. When the altar call was given, my mind didn’t even have a chance, there was no stopping my legs moving me in that direction.
About a year and a half later the woman who had become my spiritual mother died of cancer and I was devastated. I could not understand why God would let this happen. In my confusion and devastation, I walked away from God and the Christian life. I completely walked away and went back to living as if I were not saved.
God chased me down a second time in October of 2008. I was living 100% in the flesh and I honestly don’t know how my friends and family could stand me; I couldn’t stand myself. Then one Sunday morning I woke up and Dr. Charles Stanley was preaching on my television. I couldn’t walk away from his sermon and a hunger was awakened in me that morning that hasn’t eased up yet; I simply cannot get enough of God. He is so good!
I am a creature of habit. But, every now and again, I get this voice in my head that WILL NOT go away
until I listen and submit. I wholeheartedly believe that voice is God. More than a decade ago while
I was working in the kitchen at a summer camp during college, I was on the way back to my cabin
between meals (by my usual route, of course!) when I found myself arguing with the voice in my head
about whether or not I should follow a different path. Not surprisingly, the voice won. Sitting on a
porch alone, and as homesick as could be, I found a young camper whose week was not off to a pleasant
start. Katie’s daddy had died recently, and she was in a new place, without her mom, missing him.
What we talked about that afternoon for an hour or more is not important; the importance was that
God brought two souls who needed each other together the way that only God can. I never talked to
Katie again, but as I saw her having a great week, laughing, making new friends, and learning about
Jesus, I knew that God had used me to impact her life. Me?!? I was humbled beyond belief. I don’t
know where she is, but I frequently pray for Katie and ask that God will let her know the impact she had
on MY life. By faith, I know that we will share our stories in heaven!
I was 11 years old and a girl who was just one year older than I passed away over the summer. She was one of my softball teammates. My parents were not believers and my belief about death was skewed. I thought that when I died, I would just cease to exist, but yet I still believed in heaven and hell. Another friend from school told me that if I wasn’t baptized by the time that I was 12, I would go to hell. Well, I didn’t want to experience this either. I went to church with my babysitter’s children one Sunday morning. They announced they would be baptizing people that evening. I approached the minister wanting to be baptized. He didn’t tell me about Jesus or anything about baptism. He just told me to talk to my parents. My home life was very unstable. My parents were struggling financially and it seemed that all they did was fight. My mom had gotten pregnant by a man who happened to be outside of our race. She ended up getting an abortion. My dad was no doubt seeing other women as well. Everything finally came to a head and they divorced. My mom, my brother, and I went to live with my aunt and uncle. They were unbelievers as well, but their daughters when to church every Sunday. My aunt would come into our room at night and my cousins would say their prayers. We didn’t do this at home and I wanted to be included. My grandfather managed some apartments and allowed my mom to live in his apartment until she could manage something on her own. She wasn’t welcomed at my aunt and uncles home any longer because of the abortion and relationship. I lived there during the week for school and then stayed with my mom and brother on the weekends. She would come to pick me up, but always stayed in the car. I was so very fearful and angry during this time, but the Lord was working in my heart. I remember one weekend listening to the local secular radio station and a song by Michael W. Smith called “Place in This World” was being played. The words struck a chord in my heart. I can remember realizing that I had sin in my life and that I couldn’t take it away. I don’t remember anyone ever telling me that prior to that time. A lady who worked with my mom kept inviting her to church. My mom used the excuse that she had nothing to wear, but finally accepted the invitation. I remember the Sunday school teacher sharing how our hearts had a place that was somewhat like a puzzle. She said that we could try to fit boys, music, and fun into that place, but no matter how hard we tried to make it fit, it wouldn’t work. Only Jesus could fit into that place. I listened as the Pastor talked about Jesus giving his life on the cross. I had never heard this before. I hung onto every word as he spoke. The Holy Spirit definitely had my attention. When the altar call was given, my mom and I both went forward. I felt like a huge burden had been lifted from me when I got up from praying. I was 13 when I trusted Jesus. It has been 20 years since that day and I’m still learning what it means to love the Lord with my whole heart and trust Him with my life.
I am a creature of habit. But, every now and again, I get this voice in my head that WILL NOT go away until I listen and submit. I wholeheartedly believe that voice is God. More than a decade ago while I was working in the kitchen at a summer camp during college, I was on the way back to my cabin between meals (by my usual route, of course!) when I found myself arguing with the voice in my head about whether or not I should follow a different path. Not surprisingly, the voice won. Sitting on a porch alone, and as homesick as could be, I found a young camper whose week was not off to a pleasant start. Katie’s daddy had died recently, and she was in a new place, without her mom, missing him. What we talked about that afternoon for an hour or more is not important; the importance was that God brought two souls who needed each other together the way that only God can. I never talked to Katie again, but as I saw her having a great week, laughing, making new friends, and learning about Jesus, I knew that God had used me to impact her life. Me?!? I was humbled beyond belief. I don’t know where she is, but I frequently pray for Katie and ask that God will let her know the impact she had on MY life. By faith, I know that we will share our stories in heaven!
Only God and His word could have delivered this lost girl from my heritage and life of promiscuity, addiction, destruction and hell. When He so gloriously delivered me from the pit at 17 He blessed me with a mentor who had me memorize passages of scripture every week. I was too young and still realing from the world to know how much good God was doing in the soil of my heart. It was there 15 years ago that He burned a love for His word so deep in me that I have never been the same. Now joyfully married and expecting our 3rd child through adoption in May and I am expecting our 4th is due in August I am depending on God more than ever for this new adventure we are embarking upon. Thank you God for your word that it keeps me alive, sane, and in love with Him and others in this present age. Hallelujah!
I am a young mother who lives with severe, ongoing pain. I have had 4 major back surgeries, 3 since my sweet 4 year old daughter was born. I wish my testimony of God’s living proof was one of radical healing, but it is not. Instead, I know my God is real because of the sustaining grace I have found thru the pain and the victory He has given me over a lifetime of anxiety, weakness and fear. I have time and time again been at the end of myself physically…in a panic attack from overwhelming circumstances and in that moment, something supernatural gives hope and grace to help me press on. Twice, when I was at a literal emotional end, my father (a pastor and gifted counselor) knocked on my door “just happening to be in the neighborhood to see how I’m doing….” Or a friends’ phone call says just what I need exactly when I needed it.
Before my feet hit the floor each morning I must ask for strength to make it thru the day with a smile. And amazingly, He makes me able. And with the pain and disappointment I live with, I know this is not my own power. It is Him in me. I could go on and on with stories like this thru my suffering–not the big, bold testimony of healing I long for, but just enough to make it thru with joy. I am learning that God’s beauty, His sustaining hand, is often found in the “just enough.”
Thank you. Your testimony blessed me today. So thankful with you that “He gives us more grace” (James 4:6).
Perfect words that blessed me.
“I know this is not my own power. It is Him in me. I could go on and on with stories like this thru my suffering–not the big, bold testimony of healing I long for, but just enough to make it thru with joy. I am learning that God’s beauty, His sustaining hand, is often found in the “just enough.”
2 Corinthians 4:7
But we have this treasure in jars of clay to show that this all surpassing power is from God and not from us.
I met my husband in college and we married 5 years later. He was a wonderful caretaker, father to our sons and spiritual leader in our family. I was spoiled. After 14 years of marriage he was diagnosed with glioblastoma; the worst type of brain tumor. But I remembered hearing that you need a “test” to have a testimony. This comforted me because I knew this was the test and His cure would be our testimony. For the next 1 ½ years God was so close to us. He NEVER let go of our hand. My husband went through three surgeries and we were losing him a little at a time. We were losing our earthly feelings of security but God took care of each need as it arose. I saw Him at every turn. After Mark’s last surgery, only through God’s strength, I became the caretaker of the family but not without overwhelming support of my family, friends, and church family. We were Never alone.
Soon we were faced with what appeared to be the worst, Mark could no longer speak, his God given gift, his strength. Yet, through witnessing Mark’s faith in God to the very end he taught his family God’s love with “no words at all”. So although it wasn’t the cure we expected, God showed my family that He will never leave you if you let Him lead your life. He can even give you comfort in the worst of times. He is my Savior!
God had a plan for me. After an awful first marriage God blessed me with an amazing husband. 3 weeks after we got married my step-daughter (I hate that term because she is my daughter no extra words needed) was dignosised with an inoperable brain tumor. It was devastating. I did everything I could for that child. Every doctor’s appointment, Every radiation appointment, Every dose of chemo I was there. And we prayed. I prayed until I cried every night. And every night I could feel his comfort. We realized early on that Katie wouldn’t make it. That’s when we changed what we were praying for. We prayed that it was quick, painless and that she would be at home. All of those prays where answered when God took my sweet girl home but she was in our home, surrounded by her parents, Doctors and nurses. It was exactly what we prayed for. Those were the moments that I knew my God loved me. He loved me enough to put me where I needed to be. The most amazing thing for me through all of that was that I knew he was working. Katie’s doctor showed up at our door without us calling him. He said that when he was praying for her God told him that he needed to see her. Same with our Pastor. God is amazing. Because of what I went through with Katie I am now working towards getting my R.N. I want to work in pediatric oncology.
I grew up in a Christian home. I LOVED church. I remember going forward and being baptized at age 7. I participated in church and grew in my faith. I was the consummate Christian girl. At age 17, I met a “good” boy. I fell in “love”, and then, just fell. I got a taste of the wild life, and my flesh cried for more. I shook off the “good” me, and decided I wanted something different. After a devastating breakup, I slid into a downward spiral of finding “love” wherever I could. I resisted everyone God sent to reach me. Then came a guy who was different. Not perfect, but different. We married in 1989, found our way back to church, graduated college and had our first child, but I didn’t know if God could really use me. In 1993, as I studied John, God broke my heart over my sin. I repented, even got baptized again. I began teaching youth Sunday school. Then came When Godly People Do Ungodly Things. God had more work to do. I realized it was far easier to say I had never been saved then to say I sinned against my God. With every new study, it seems there is more I need to learn about His character, my character, and about life in Him. I still teach youth, but I am also now the Women’s leader at our church. With my background? That’s living proof that My God redeems and restores!
I believed in Jesus but I didnt know how to give him my life, really. I was raised in Him and I knew all the stories. But when I was a teen and had boy trouble or partying trouble or depression trouble, I would pray a little and then lean Heavily on friends, peers, antidepressants, food, cigarettes, substances for my solutions. This became a pattern. I cried out a lot and God deffinately helped me but it wasnt until I learned to say one day “I Can’t do it God! Will you?” that things began to change. He changed me into a lover of His word! He changed my cycle of running to everyone else and gave me eyes for Him! He changed my nagging bitter heart toward my Husband into a heart that loves to be a sweetie and a helpmeet. He changed me into a non-smoker. Changed me into a joyful momma instead of a run down grouchy one. And…this is a big one..I HATED vegetables! Completely! I said “God if am hearing you right and you want me to put veggies into this body, my heart and taste buds need serious changing. So HE DID!!! I tell you it was a mircle.((grin)). All the changes are. I give him my heart, my troubles, my thoughts. I have to walk through painful stuff with Him to get to the glorious other side of it. He takes the brokeness and turns it into joy and thankfullness as only our Awesome God can to my great delight. Thankyou Jesus! Let me love and serve you more!
I grew up in a very small United Methodist Church. It was a wonderful little church full of family and friends. But, 22 years ago, God sent a new minister to our church. I was 16 years old. The pastor and his wife were young and stayed at my church for nine years. Pouring God’s love into me all through that time. As I spoke to the wife of her role as a pastor’s wife, I once said these exact words, “I will NEVER marry and preacher and live as you do!” I couldn’t imagine leaving my small community and moving from church to church leaving the people I loved and being anything like what I thought a preacher’s wife was. Because the role model I had was so incredible. She shined God’s light and I was NOT that person and didn’t feel that I ever would be.
Well, God had plans for me that I didn’t know about. I did, indeed, marry a pastor and live the exact same life that I said I would never live. I KNOW God sent that pastor’s wife to be my mentor. She still is. But that isn’t the end of the story. One of the things I do often is teach Bible Studies. I’ve done many different studies and one of the things I cannot fathom is that God does indeed speak through me. People will say to me how I’ve changed their lives or how I’ve really helped them to grow. I really can’t stand it when people tell me that. See, in my broken humanness sometimes my anxiety is so bad that I don’t even want to leave the house much less stand in front of a group and lead a bible study. I don’t even speak in complete sentences because my brain tends to work faster than my mouth. So, I know without a shadow of a doubt that when someone grows closer to HIM through a study that I’m leading that it is all him. And when they tell me these things, I smile, shake my head and give HIM the glory because I know WHO is working and it’s not me!!!
I lost a beautiful daughter Kandance to a drunk driver at the age of 20.I have been a Christian at at 11 and served Him all my life. When this happened my faith was tested I was angry with Him.One day after 4 years of horrible grief I laid on the floor I ask my God to heal me or kill me I could not live like this anymore I laid there awhile and I heard a voice tell me Nita if you will get up I will show how to live and I will show you great and wonderful things.I got up and told Him I will trust you just tell me what to do He told me to get into the Word like I had never done before and I did I went to every Bible study out there and got involved with a Beth Moore study and I started one of her studies in my home and I did breaking free and through that you cannot believe all the great and wonderful things He has done for me I obeyed and He keep His promise and though I still hurt I now can live. My God is faithful I still cry out to Him and He still hears me. Heaven is sweeter every day to me now because I know I will see my sweet daughter again as she knew Jesus as her Savior. Never give up on God He never gives up on us. He is my ever present Help in times of trouble.I am serving Him today and I am ALIVE.
My friend Ann is LIVING PROOF that Jesus is ALIVE and ACTIVE!!! Two weeks ago, her son was hit by a car. Within seconds, Ann was giving him CPR and praying the BLOOD OF JESUS to cover and save him! As the paramedics took over, Ann took hold of her other two boys and not knowing whether her son would live on earth or go to live with Jesus, she told them clearly, “Boys, Jesus knew before our day even started that this would happen today. We TRUST HIM… we are going to be okay!” She jumped into the ambulance and prayed all the way to the hospital. On her son’s fourth morning without waking or being responsive, in Ann’s darkest moment, as she cried out to Jesus, a song popped into her head, “Though I walk through valleys low, I’ll fear no evil, By the waters still my soul, My heart will trust in You!” Jesus instantly gave her the PEACE and STRENGTH she needed to continue on. Every bit of Scripture that she has memorized through the years came flooding to her mind and carried her. No matter how dark it looked, Jesus kept her at PERFECT PEACE when she fixed her mind on Him! By the GRACE of God, her son woke up Easter morning! Jesus took the worst experience of her life and turned it into the most glorious Easter they have ever had!!!
My life has not been an easy journey with Christ. Childhood was riddled with loneliness,fear and lack of self worth.I was raised in a christian home but Christ was not the head of our home. My father’s drug addiction, mental illness and frequent suicide attempts ruled our home. Despite this environment Christ still spoke and he spoke into my life at the age of 10 when I accepted him as Lord and Saviour and was baptised. Throughout my growing up and adult years I attended church and was your basic good christian girl but really had kept Christ at arms lenghth. I didn’t realize I was even doing this until a string of events over the last 3 years brought me to my knees before him. These events included the death of my father in law ( who lived out Christ to me and was the father I never had),a devastating house fire which I accidentally caused,leaving our church of many years which in turn put a wedge between me and my own extended family,loss of a child due to miscarriage,divorce of my parents after 50 years of marriage( the cause of which left my father with a criminal record),closure of my business due to health issues. Further complicating these events were near bankruptcy due to real estate investments,loss of my income and finally major surgery.
James 1:2
Consider it all joy my brothers when ever you face trials of many kinds.
This of course was not my first response to these many trials of many kinds!!! However the Lord was relentlessly pursuing me and he got my full and undivided devotion and attention! The following verses describe much better than I ever could what the Lord has taught me about life and following him.
Romans 15:13
May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace as you trust in him, so that you may overflow with hope by the power of the Holy Spirit.
2 Corinthians 4:17
For our momentary, light suffering is producing for us an eternal weight of glory far beyond all comparison.
Phillipians 3:8
I consider everything a loss compared to the surpassing greatness of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord.
Hebrews 11:6
With out faith it is impossible to please God.
2 Corinthians 4:16
Therefore we do not lose heart. Though outwardly we are wasting away, yet inwardly we are being renewed day by day.
I am most grateful to Jesus for his great love and mercy towards me. He alone is my redeemer, make no mistake about that!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I have had the best life…
Wonderful parents who brought me up in church 3-4 times a week,
Fun college years where all I had to do was study and have fun and not worry about working,
An exciting career after graduation working for some of the biggest fashion retailers in the world where almost any promotion I wanted was easily obtained,
A loving husband and two beautiful children,
A beautiful home in a great neighborhood,
Wonderful friends of whom many have taken countless bible study classes with me…
It looks great on paper doesn’t it?
My secret was…I was miserable on the inside…I hated myself…I thought I was the worst person on the planet! We went to church together, even taught Sunday school, I was in Bible study…yet I thought how on earth will I ever be good enough to get to Heaven? I could name 1001 reasons why I wasn’t good enough. I tried and tried to be perfect, do everything right, make everyone happy, take food to others, ask for forgiveness for living what I felt was a selfishly wonderful life and all while not letting anyone know– I had to look and act perfect. It all came to a head a year ago…I was burnt out emotionally and leaking out of my pores this overwhelming feeling of hopelessness and it was starting to affect my relationship with my husband and kids so I made the hard step to see an amazing Christian counselor where she helped me learn of God’s Grace (something that was not really expressed to me enough in my background) and that yet I have made countless mistakes, I am forgiven through Jesus’s blood. I don’t have to be perfect, I don’t have to keep up with Joneses, I don’t have to worry about not being a perfect parent or wife. My focus should not be on myself but on Jesus. He is all I need.
I just had to breathe, be in close companionship with Jesus, study and pray daily and rely on his guidance and his strength to keep me fulfilled in Him and not in all of the other things that I have allowed to take precedence over Him. I cannot tell you how amazing it is to live life without the heavy burden of being so legalistic and perfect! He is my perfection and I am saved by GRACE.
I can’t remember the first time I was victimized. I was too young and it went on until I began puberty. I was a promiscuous preteen/teen and was all but raped at 16. I was devastated and was not going to lie around and be hurt so I buried it. I immediately got back into an abusive relationship. That, for some reason felt safe. When he pressed sex, I lost it with him and ended it quickly. I then began to really get into church and at age 17 I met my husband. We were married 18 months later. He had two children when we married and we quickly added two more. Fourteen years into our marriage I found myself in a really bad place, emotionally and spiritually. I felt that no one loved me and no one needed me. The abusive relationship that I ended as a teenager soon found his way back into my life. I was deep in an emotional affair which ultimately ended in a full blown affair. I also found myself seriously depending on alcohol, uppers and downers to just live day to day. I am happy to say that in August of last year the affair ended. I laid down the alcohol and pills and God picked me up, dusted me off, and set me on solid ground. He restored my family and it is stronger and better than it ever was. Breaking Free has really helped me.
I reached for his arm and pulled him out to the deck, while the sun quietly sank in the sky. Deep breath.
I looked up to my husband and said with damp eyes, “I’ve been doing this wife thing wrong. For the last four years I’ve been trying to drive the car and it’s been awful. I tried to be the leader and as a result we have almost crashed or one of us has almost bailed. God made you the leader, and I’m taking my seat next to you as your helper.” Submitting to my husband has been an act of obedience to God many days and I’m learning that around the corner of obedience awaits a blessing. Marriage is hard but as I let my husband lead, the ride is much smoother!
~Laura Moore
For decades, I was furious at my parents. They were neglectful to the point that I was placed in a group home for eight months. I struggled with the fact that while I was there eight (yes 8) of my siblings were allowed to remain in the home. I could not figure WHY ME?? It wasn’t until a certain Esther bible study (mm hmm) that God spoke His word for me- YOU CAN’T AMPUTATE YOUR HISTORY FROM YOUR DESTINY – they share the same root. That made me so mad I could scream because who would ever want my past?
I prayed to God to show me this in my life. Two years later, after a series of Divine Interventions and Invitations, I am now volunteering with teenage girls who are in a ten month residential treatment program to recover from sexual abuse and forced prostitution. I have finally come to a place where I am thankful for my past – it truly has been a blessing. I can relate to these precious girls in ways that others simply cannot. Although I will never fully understand their pain – I am being presented to them as a living testimony that God heals in a BIG WAY! I served in the military, graduated with honors from University of Maryland, and have now been married fifteen years with two precious boys – ages 4 and 10 months.
I live my life by Ephesians 2:10. He knew that my experiences would help me help him reach those who also don’t want to claim their past….yet. Love HIM!!
I was conceived on Memorial Day, almost aborted on Columbus Day and given up for adoption on Valentine’s Day. During a Memorial Day holiday get-away weekend with a blind date, my birthmother became pregnant with me. My birthfather was unwilling to help her, and as a single mother at age 41, she did not want to disgrace her family with an illegitimate child, so she went to live with a relative out of town. In October, around the time of Columbus Day, she went to a back-alley abortionist to abort me, but when the abortionist examined her and realized she was over 4 months pregnant, he told her the abortion might kill her, and he refused to do it. I was born on Friday the 13th and was placed for adoption on Valentine’s Day. I believe there are no “accidents” and every conception and every birth is part of God’s sovereign plan, according to Psalm 139:15-16. I was adopted by loving, Christian parents, growing up in church, active in Sunday school and missions organizations. I prayed to receive Jesus Christ as my Lord and Savior at a young age. I grow closer to my Lord and Savior Jesus Christ every day through prayer, worship, and the study of His Word. I understand the personal struggles others face who have been rejected and abandoned. I am currently involved in a work that God is using to heal the hearts of adopted, orphaned, foster, and waiting children throughout the world.
For so many years, I have struggled with insecurity and I did what ever it took to get attention. I felt like I was never good enough, never worthy enough to be loved. Drama was the theme of my life. I would create fights with people just to get them to react to me. I lost many friends because I couldn’t trust they really cared for me. Because I am still single, I always thought it was because I was fat. Through much counseling, the truth of God’s word and lots of painful prayers, God has brought me to security in HIM and HIM alone. I have learned to fight the enemies lies with the truth of God’s word, and to let HIM fill me up daily. He has given me strong Christian friends who have helped me trust their love, prayed for me, walked with me and helped me turn my focus to Jesus. Jesus has HEALED AND CHANGED ME! I am not who I once was! Through God ALONE!
What I didn’t realize was that I had grown lazy, complacent, and thoughtless. I didn’t speak up when my feelings were hurt, or when I needed to tell the truth. I wrongly thought I should avoid conflict and stuff my hurt. I rationalized I was denying self and taking up my cross.
After another conflict, I broke. It was time for change, to put my faith to the test. I would either fully believe in God and accept His help, or I would give up faith.
I took the risk and determined to read Scripture, struggle to understand it, and act on it. I got a Bible study on marriage and devoured it, paying close attention and implementing what I learned.
Things are changing, just like Ephesians 4:17-32 says. My attitude and perspective are lighter. Hope is back. I am learning how to speak truth in love, that my opinions count, and obedience to God brings further guidance.
I am excited about God. Best of all – I don’t have to have it all figured out. I just surrender each day to Jesus and work with what comes to me.
I had prepared my whole life to be a concert pianist. I spent countless hours practicing, memorizing, and enduring the “constructive criticism” of a few endearing teachers. When I was in my junior year of college, I developed permanent nerve damage in my right arm that ultimately led me to never perform again. During this time, I married an orchestral musician. Unfortunately, every time he took the stage, I was filled with bitterness and envy. The life he was living, was the path that I had dreamed about. Watching him perform became more about me getting through it, than cheering him on. Since I didn’t want my mental anguish to tear him down, or for me to be seen as an unsupportive wife, I hid it. I lived with that unhealthy battle for over 10 years, until one day it just miraculously disappeared. All bitterness, rage, frustration, jealousy and sorrow were replaced with peace. I can only classify it as a “God-thing”. Only God’s grace could have healed this broken heart and replaced what I saw as failure with a purpose. God has placed a passion on my heart for building up the next generation of church musicians. I am able to use the gifts He’s given me in music, leadership and teaching. Nothing that I ever dreamed could have been a more perfect fit for my life. To God be the Glory!