At times like these, I wish so much I hadn’t already overused words like “amazed” or “awed” to describe what I’m feeling about God. Or “blown away” or “astonished” or “stunned.” For instance, I think I recall using a few of those very words about a red bird I saw in my yard yesterday. Not that God’s handiwork displayed on the delicate wings of a bird of such brilliant color that it has its own name (cardinal red) isn’t amazing. It’s just that I feel something on a slightly larger and more personal scale right now. I wish I’d reserved a few of the synonyms for “awed” for those rarer moments when I feel it to such full measure that my skin almost feels too tight for my soul. When I’m half tempted to do nothing but sit, stare out a window, and shake my head for hours on end. Times I want to say something like, “Who is this God who pursues us so personally?” Or in the psalmist’s words, “What is man that You are mindful of him, and the son of man that You care for him?” I wouldn’t bother sharing this sense I have in my heart with you if I thought moments like these weren’t smattered on the canvases of all followers of Christ. But they are. You’ve had them, too. I’m hoping you’ll remember some of them today. And perhaps you’ve had these moment of inexpressible awe for the very same reason:
The flabbergasting (I’ve overused that word, too) timing of God.
Timing that illustrates to you once again that the God of the universe who called the heavens and earth into existence really does know you are alive and what you are presently experiencing…and even thinking.
You’ve had times like the one I’m currently experiencing. Times when God made sure you were studying a particular thing at the exact time when it spoke most profoundly into that stretch of your journey. For instance, think of a time when you didn’t get to go through a particular Bible study journey during the same set of weeks as your regular discipleship group and maybe you didn’t get around to it for several years…but, when you did, you realized that God had distinctly held it for you until then. I mean, how on earth does He know??
You and I know the answer to that question Biblically. God is omniscient. A meticulous planner is He. But psychologically, don’t we still find it shocking? I mean, how on earth does He have the energy to keep up with millions of His followers and exactly what we need and at exactly which time?
Yes, we know the answer to that question Biblically, too. But, humanly, aren’t we still sometimes taken aback by it?
While Melissa and I were studying James together, she got wrapped up in the Book of Deuteronomy (they have flagrant ties) and talked about it enough that I also got drawn in. Enough, in fact, that by early Fall I knew God was preparing me to teach portions of it in our Tuesday night series that would begin in late January. (She would also co-teach by writing coinciding articles for our Bible study group. It’s the one we are currently serving.)
In preparation for the January series, I decided to start reading the Book of Deuteronomy as part of my quiet time every morning starting in November (of 2011). I did not in any way have preconceived notions about the theme in the life of the Israelites matching up to a major move in my personal life. I chose it strictly because it would prepare me daily toward teaching parts of it several months later. Of course, I anticipated that God would speak to me through it because His Word is alive and active but I had no thought of the concept being perfectly timed for me personally.
As God would have it, the whole book was/is about moving to new ground. (To us this side of Christ’s ascension, this shift to a land of promise would serve powerfully as a metaphor for new ground in our fruit-bearing as obvious disciples of Jesus Christ but, for me, it happened at a time when the applications were multilayered and so much so that, to ignore it would have been a fool’s choice.) And here’s the part that left me slack-jawed. One of the most powerful messages in the Deuteronomy is the warning never to forget where you’ve been with Him, what He has done for you, and that He alone is your God and that to forget Him is total destruction to you. From Chapter 8 alone…
V.2 “And you shall remember the whole way that the Lord your God has led you.”
V.11 “Take care lest you forget the Lord your God.”
V.14 “lest, when you have eaten and are full and built good houses and live in them …then your heart be lifted up, and you forget the Lord your God who brought you out of the land of Egypt, out of the house of slavery…”
V.18 “You shall remember the Lord your God.”
V.19 “And if you forget the Lord your God, I solemnly warn you today that you shall surely perish.”
Let me tell you something, Sweet Thing. There is nothing quite like emptying out a house you’ve been thoroughly entrenched in for nearly thirty years to cause you to remember. Keith sat across from me a few days ago, leaned back in the chair, placed his large palms on his knees – almost as if to brace himself – and said as soberly as anything I’ve ever heard him utter, “I have relived 25 years of our lives as I have cleared out that attic.” It wasn’t the time for me to correct him on exactly how many years it had been. “Well, 27 to be exact” was not about to come out of my mouth. In fact, I hardly said anything at all. I just nodded my head and sat in silence for a few minutes with him. It was a sacred selah because I knew that some of the things he’d remembered had brought joy. And some of the things he’d remembered had brought pain. I knew because the same thing had happened to me. The next day we were in his truck together going to Dairy Queen for a chocolate malt when I brought it back up.
“Keith, don’t you think it is so incredibly odd that God made sure you were out of town while I (and the movers) packed the house up for our move then you did the whole attic by yourself because I was back at work? Do you think it could be any coincidence that God had each of us by ourselves to remember so much of our lives there?”
Same house. Same children. Many of the same exact occurrences. But two completely different people with distinct DNA who processed the same events very differently. Just as Amanda would have. Just as Melissa would have. Just as even Michael would have after his seven short years in our home. You and I share many corporate events with the people in our familial circles: births, deaths, disappointments, celebrations, routines, great surprises, sudden crises. But, if we’ll let Him, God tends to us all uniquely and intimately and means each of us to glean something distinct in the process. Maybe something altogether opposite from the person sitting right beside us at the time.
The kinds of things we unearthed in the move seemed strategically planted by God, set right there for us to find one at a time as if we were following closely to a dog-eared treasure map.
Several of them came to me in a box Keith found in the attic. I’d forgotten it existed.
I took the lid off and saw this:
Very uncharacteristically, Keith had looked through the whole thing before giving it to me. Don’t think that won’t make a woman nervous. In it, he’d found the first card he ever gave me. We laughed until our sides split over how beautifully it depicted us. It was like we’d had a word of knowledge about what was coming. Our whole 33 year old marriage has been the steady recycling of this exact same card given back and forth to one another:
Inside the box was the very first prayer journal I suppose I ever owned. I think that I recall a revival pastor coming to my church at the time and telling us about these little notebooks and I purchased one. I smile as I try to estimate how many I’ve purchased since. I used one this very morning.
It’s so moving to find keepsakes that you actually dated and penned with your own (young!) hand. I would have sensed the call of God on my life and walked the aisle at my church to make it public one summer before.
I read many things in that first journal that made me smile and others that pooled the tears in my eyes. Others out right mystified me. To say that I was in denial over my past childhood abuse is a mind-boggling understatement but that’s another subject for another time. Let me just say for now that I watched my own pen flat-out lie to me over and over again. I even thanked God for the relationship I had with someone who’d abused me. Nuts. That very malfunction would put me in counseling in my early thirties. I woke up alright. That subject aside, I want to show you a specific page out of the journal because it held significant tenderness for me.
See the very top entry? That was intercession for the young people I got to serve at my home church. I was sponsoring that very group at a church camp when I first sensed a vocational call. See that second entry? I did hurt that person. A very wonderful person who deserved far better. I didn’t want to hurt him. But I surely did. I was on a terrible rebound and couldn’t be trusted emotionally. See that third entry? It was about a possible internship at a church in the Houston area. (The town is Humble, Texas. Not the name of the church. I wonder now if I meant First Baptist Humble but I’m not sure. Back then, I might not have known the difference. Grin.) They didn’t hire me and, at the time, I almost talked myself into believing that I’d made up the whole calling. I find it interesting and pathetic how quickly we (I) tend to give up and think God has passed us (me) by. I’d have made a terrible Abraham.
Now, look back up at that last entry from the page in my first journal. I fell head-over-heels in love with a young man in college who I dated for the better part of two years. He never even pretended to feel the same way about me (not his fault, God’s will) and my beaten-up heart finally shattered into a thousand pieces as I accepted it as a lost cause and bowed out. Fast forward 35 years. What makes this discovery in the journal so tender is that I received a call several weeks ago from my college roommate telling me in tears that this young man – who was now in his mid-fifties – had died that very morning of a heart attack. No warning. No prior heart problem. I had not seen him in many years. I grieved immediately and deeply for his lovely wife who he adored and who would miss him terribly. Only God could have had the tenderness to let me see this page only a short time later and have a moment’s personal mourning and remembrance over someone I’d felt much for many years earlier. God did not owe me that. It was tender mercy. Who but Christ does something like that??
There were other treasures found elsewhere. Like this picture of Keith and me boarding a cruise liner the morning after we married. (Our honeymoon was our wedding gift from his parents. We wouldn’t have two extra nickles to rub together for many years.)
That was the man I was meant to marry. And we have continued to ride many waves. It was deeply significant to me that God not only planned for me to find treasures from my spiritual journey. He also had similar intentions for Keith. I had never seen these certificates and Keith had no memory of them being placed in his possession by his parents.
We found a whole bag of cassette-taped messages from Buddy Walters, the mentor that God used to strike a flaming desire in my heart to study Scripture. He was my first Bible doctrine teacher. These messages were preached years later at the church in North Carolina where he served as associate pastor.
Curtis converted them into CD’s for me last week. I’ve been listening to them and hearing the echo of that strong voice of authority and affection for the Lord Jesus Christ that took my breath away in my mid-twenties. Buddy died in his mid-forties and has been with the Lord for many years now but his ministry is poured into every message we have at Living Proof. God’s ways are so strange and beautiful. God knew that I could not fully “remember” my journey with Him without remembering the sound of this mouthpiece. My deepest love affair with Jesus through His Word began under that man’s teaching.
You can quite imagine that we unearthed artifact after artifact from our children’s lives. Stuffed animals. Artwork. Report cards. Clothes. You name it. I hadn’t seen this picture in so long. We were at Keith’s baby sister’s wedding. Oh, mercy, I love these two little girls so much. In this mother’s heart, they are about this same age.
I shared with you in a post soon after we moved (Dec. 2011) that I’d declared to Keith that I’d never leave that house. I also told you that one (irrational, unexplainable) reason was the fear that our time with Michael (who lived with us for seven years) would seem less real, further removed, and the door permanently closed. It was real alright. In this move, we’ve discovered him all over our house. Stacks and stacks of pictures, albums, artwork, report cards, etc, etc, etc. I found this letter that we received some months after he left.
Spud was our nickname for him. I also found this particular school picture. It was the year he departed our home. Wasn’t he beautiful?
As it turned out, the move did not distance us further nor close the door permanently. I have seen him as recently as two weeks ago and get to stay in regular communication with him. God is so gracious. Michael looks fairly different now but he is still so darling. He is a tattoo artist and has practiced a good deal on himself. I am smiling. I love him. And I am so, so proud of him.
The 8th chapter of the Book of Deuteronomy says to remember “the whole way” (V.2) the Lord has led you. The “terrible” (NASB) and “terrifying” (ESV) wilderness (V.15) and the miracles of manna and water from the flinty rock. (Vv.15-16) Translation? Remember the awful times. Remember the awesome times. I not only dug up sweet memories. I’ve stumbled upon some terrifying ones. Some that I wish to heaven I could have forgotten. Some that make my skin crawl. I found journal entries from a time of such utter darkness in my life that only God could have brought me through in one piece. Reading my pleas from that time stirred up such strong emotions that I could have thrown up. I kept having to remind myself to keep my memories in the light of God and not let them descend into the darkness of the enemy. When I remember them before God who delivered me, I am helped. When I remember them before the enemy who full-well meant to destroy me, I am haunted. Oh, the grace and mercy God has had upon my life. He is the only good in me. I’m sure Keith found reminders of some dark days of his own. And those are between God and him. I’ll leave you with one last picture. Keith sent me this one from his phone two days ago to let me know that the house was completely empty. Don’t think it wasn’t significant to me.
Oh, yes, Lord. I definitely remember the heaps of trash. Thank You for assuring us that, through Your mercy, all of it – EVERY SINGLE BIT OF IT – has been thrown into the depths of the sea, swallowed up in a fountain of blood.YOU ALONE are our God. YOU ALONE delivered Keith and I from such miry clay. YOU ALONE have kept my family in tact. YOU ALONE have spared us so much shame and lifelong defeat. You alone persistently dogged us with Your Holy Spirit and Your Word until we could no longer cover our ears. You alone saw people worth fixing in our brokenness. And You still do. I never want to forget, Lord. Never.
“Take care lest you forget the Lord your God…who brought you out of the house of slavery.”
Deuteronomy 8:16 says something so riveting that I can hardly read it without having a visceral reaction. It says that God TESTS us and HUMBLES us “to do you good in the end.”
In the end. Seems like we’ve heard that somewhere before. Somewhere this side of the Cross.
“And we know that for those who love God all things work together for good, for those who are called according to His purpose.” Romans 8:28 ESV
Dear Beth, That took courage to write. Going down memory lane is gut wrenching and exciting and joyful. I am so glad that you reminded us that as you walk through those memories with God at your side he shares all those feelings and then let’s you rejoice in the woman you have become because of these experiences. We are so totally blessed by the teacher you have become and wisdom you share with us because of the life you have lived. That shows us that God uses everything we go through to make us more like him and to shine His Glory to others. None of our experiences are wasted and He meant them all for our good.
You are loved by your sisters and Jesus.
This is the 2nd time I have had these verses ministered to me
in less than a week. I think God wants my attention.
Angela
Mansfield TX
Beth-I LOVE THIS POST! EVERY LAST BIT OF IT!!! Praising God with you! HE is SOOOO good! So so GOOD!
Thanks so much for sharing Ms. Beth. You always encourage me and give me hope. Love you. Grandmamitz
Sometimes, when I am waiting on something, and wondering what God is going to do, I have found that tracing the path of what God has already done in my life gives me the strength to keep waiting and believing for what is coming next in the journey. He is writing such a beautiful story of our lives, and I want to remember and never forget how He has amazingly worked in mine.
Beth, thank you once again for sharing your story and God’s unmistakable fingerprint upon your life. What a tapestry He weaves that we only begin to appreciate through the lenses of looking back over the path in which we have come.You blessed me today with both tears and smiles, giving me a heart bursting with gratitude for all He has done and continues to do.
Gorgeous post, Beth! Thanks for sharing!
I also wanted to mention that I’m currently working through your Breaking Free Bible study, and my oh my, it has been life changing! A major part that recently resonated with me is your message on joy vs. happiness, and how we shouldn’t make happiness our goal but be joyful in our actions thankful for the grace and love from Christ we receive abundantly!
I’m newly married and trying to work through my personal baggage and regrets so that I can be the best wife for my husband, and your study along with the Word have been so healing for me these past few months as I work the homework. It’s amazing how we tend to suppres hurt thinking we’ll never have to deal with it; your study has enabled me to gently start working through it with the constant reminder of God’s abundant love and grace as I read your messages. I’ve also had the privelege of attending a few of your conferences (luckily for me my best friend is Travis Cottrell’s neice:)), and I just wanted to say thanks for all you do! It is greatly appreciated!!!
I can’t tell you how profound and timely this message is. I just returned from a three week silent retreat where God took me back through the story of my life from birth to 42 – some of it extraordinary and some so painful I thought I would surely perish. Through it all he kept reminding me of the Deut. 8 passage over and over…REMEMBER…REMEMBER… The beauty of it all was that SO many of your teachings were used instrumentally by God through my time – Believing God, Breaking Free, When Godly People Do Ungodly Things, A Woman’s Heart, David…over and over again he brought the truth of those teachings FULL CIRCLE in so many Gilgal moments it took my breath time and again. I heard your Southern accent speaking TRUTH over a mind desperately in need of it during some of the darkest quietest moments of my life so the truth could indeed free me. Grateful beyond measure for your ministry, your vulnerability and unrelenting pursuit of HIM. You have carved a wide path of invitation to follow hard after Jesus – this broken woman one of many on a LONG list..and I finally found out for the first time what it is to be loved in my core by a Father, not just in a head of knowledge. Thank you Beth. Your ministry and surrendered life coupled with the lyrics of music by your own Travis Cottrell were with me ever step of my three week retreat and I hope to REMEMBER always the truths poured out by His Spirit.
Wow….thank you for sharing (yet again) such a beautiful post. I love how you are so open and transparent!!!!!
Mercy – I’ve missed so much. I didn’t even realize you had moved! I remember you talking about in past years about how you wouldn’t want to move and now you have!
Thank you for sharing your memories with us. I loved seeing a picture of Michael and getting an update on him. Just like your daughters, he’ll probably never have any idea how many people just love him because of you. (Much like many people love our God because of the way you pointed us to Him.)
I love you Mama Beth!!
But God…..you have continually taught us to see God’s handprint all over our lives and we are grateful for your example of how to live it out. God continues to use you to lead us to Him. Way back in ’04 I hugged your neck at a small gathering in Surrey, B.C. and thanked you for letting God use you through Believing God. Just like you described, I had missed a week from illness and then was flat out on the floor at home as I studied the missed session alone…God perfectly timed it to have me alone and before Him. His timing is impeccable and I know I miss it sometimes cuz I am too wrapped up in myself and my life here. Ann Voskamp has such a way too of helping us turn our eyes to Him as well….today we add you once again to our list of one thousand gifts. You are a blessing and a treasure! Ki/rain(sp?)!
Beth, thanks so much for sharing so much of life with everyone. I don’t often respond to your blog, because I have such a hard time putting things into words, but this one really touched me. It is amazing how God’s timing is PERFECT. I’m doing your Patriach study and LUV it! So many have done it years ago, but I didn’t have the time. I’m on week 4, and God has spoken to me so much already I can’t wait to keep going. 🙂 Also, regarding remembering …and never forgetting…..the enemy constantly reminds me of my past to which I must renew my mind and reply with “there is now therefore no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus! Amen! So when I’m reminded of my past, I will/do rememember who the LORD has saved me. Looking foward to seeing you in Colorado Springs this summer. (hope it’s still on your agenda.
…..that should read “how” the LORD has saved me. But I’m sure you figured that one out 🙂
I like the pictures of long ago
of faith, family and friends,
I have little black and white baby shoes
that use to fit on my boy’s tiny feet,
I have letters (way back in 60’s)my mom wrote and letters my Sweetheart wrote to me, that I treasure
and I have my grandmother’s Bible
But, I also have lots and lots of books
at least 12 hard- back books and 6 workbooks
by Beth Moore…which I appreciate how you
have helped me understand God’s Word and it is a
blessing to my heart. I will always treasure them
and occasionally I look back inside one to help me
teach a Sunday School class or share with ladies.
Thank you for sharing this small part of your lives with us. It is good to know that you have contact with Michael.
Yes, we have to remember that God is there and has been there. The past few weeks have been very hard, I’ve been “attacked” and it’s ongoing. But, God is there.
Enjoy making memories in your new home.
I am totally blessed and have moist eyes – I remember too – GOD ALONE IS FAITHFUL!
Love to you and yours!
Thank you for sharing your life with us! The highs and lows and the in betweens. Blessed my heart in a huge way this morning. Deuteronomy is my favorite book and I love how the Lord is using it in your life right now, too! It makes my heart race as you shared from chapter 8. May I be careful to not forget, but remember Him in all things. He is worthy of praise!!
Thank you for this. This mama of two little ones needed that reminder today. What an awesome God who is in the details of our lives.
You are my Buddy, Beth!!!! So much of my own personal growth has come because of you.
Beth ~ my friend ~ this blessed me more than you will ever know. My youngest just moved to his own apartment last weekend (graduated from college and has a job ~ BIG grin). Going through and cleaning out his room has had me on memory lane all week. So now that I’ve read Gay’s third installment and this post, I think I’ll go re-read “Feathers From My Nest” just in case there’s any tears left :). Thank you again, for sharing. You encourage me and have impacted my walk with Christ more than I can find words to explain.
Remembering. There but by the grace of God go I. I have to constantly remember that. And I have to constantly remember when my heart is shrouded in darkness. Remember the light, remember the times that YHWH has delivered me. HE HAS DELIVERED ME! He is not delivering me right now in this particular time in my life, so it is SO IMPORTANT to remember. He is my Deliverer!!!
If not for remembering, I could be tempted to doubt. But I don’t.
I REMEMBER!!!!!
Thank you Mama for the reminder to remember.
Some one else was just telling me some of what you just wrote about. I have been in need of the reminder both then and now. God has been doing so amazing things in my life. Thank you.
……a summary of your post, Beth….who am I that you have brought me THIS FAR??…. Guess what study I’m in? Yes, it’s David…. SOOOO personal! SOOO precious! THANK YOU!
Dearest Beth,
Thank you for your post. I moved out of my first house 6 weeks ago. Daddy could not beleive how much stuff a single girl could have and so much trash. The move was bittersweet but nessceary. Like you, I found so many things that I had forgotten.
Time for a fresh start.
Thank you again.
Jamie
Thanks for sharing your precious memories!
WOW!
Michael was beautiful – looks a lot like I see you and Keith in him.
I can only imagine the cathartic process you go thru as a teacher and fellow sojourner…but we are all the moore blessed for it. It takes someone willing to go thru it to teach it…and you bless!!
By the way, the Mardi Gras picture, I don’t think I have ever loved you moore!!!!! Its like out of a catalog!
Beth,
Thank you for sharing such personal thoughts. Most of us have times that are poignant but we are unable to express them as eloquently and movingly as you do. May the Lord bless you and keep you in this next season of your life. You are so dearly loved.
Amen and Amen, a few years ago I did alittle study on remember and do not forget and then passing what God had done onto the next generation so they would also know. In the fall my daughter and daughter-in-law and I did alittle study about the feasts what they meant and remembering what God had done for His people and passing it on so others will know and also how Christ has fulfilled some of them and more in the future.His Word is awesome. Praying for your Ministry Connie
Felt like I just walked down memory lane with you. Thank you so much for opening up your life through your ministry…
If someone unpacked a box of my memories one day there would definitely be one of your studies in my box…probably “To Live is Christ”… that was my first journey with you where I realized through your example (and of course Paul 🙂 what it actually looks like for a human being to be in love with God…
Love you Beth Moore!!!
Oh Beth, the timing of this post! Today has been such a tough day for me. Next week is the second anniversary of my daughter’s ‘glory day’. The day she met Jesus (at just 10 1/2 months) and the day my life was forever changed. How it all hit me today, the pain felt so fresh and the hope was nowhere to be found. Life has been a little rough lately and the future feels so uncertain. Thank you for reminding me of His faithfulness, it is what I have clung to for so many months now and I am clinging to still! Thank you for being a servant of our great God. You are a blessing.
Oh, April. I cannot even imagine. Jesus, only You. Out of Your great love and mercy, make my sister a glorious wonder. Show her glimpse after glimpse of Your stunning faithfulness.
And love triumphs over all, a severe mercy, that tests, and tries and triumphs. I’ve been in the journey too, that I might learn to recognize what has been in my heart…that I might remember and never forget that love finds a way and “Father knows best!” He knows what we have need of, and He never fails. These realities viewed up close astonishes, convinces and convicts…how much we need HIM! Oh such amazing grace….such love.
Beth, you moved me to the point of tears with this. I can remember being such a mess and still trying to serve in my church. Finally, I had to leave and get help and I didn’t go back to serve in church for at least 10 years because I still felt like such a stink bomb. I LOVE You, Beth Moore! You are not ashamed to admit that you have been where I have been.
Talk about timing! I am going through a rather dark time right now and can hardly see my way past it. I will say that God is speaking so clearly to me about His promises it really takes my breath away. Thank you Beth for sharing your years with us. It shows just how incredibly faithful HE is. May we not forget!
Last summer , due to financial loss due to my husband’s health, the Lord moved us back into the house we raised our children in…a house we lived in for 20 yrs. It’s old; no garage; no dishwasher; wood paneling everywhere…ick! But while we were moving boxes of belongings into that house, the Lord was moving His peace and a simpler life for us into the house, making it a home. It’s small so cleaning is a breeze and I have much more time to devote to prayer and study. Prior to the move, I was apprehensive because memories flooded my mind about things that had happened to us as a family in that house. On move day, however, my two grown sons filled the house with laughter and talk of happy memories they have about growing up there. I was in the kitchen working and the Lord whispered to me that I needed to do the same thing: think on the wonderful memories made there. So, that is what I’m doing. So, Beth, I did the opposite of you: I moved backwards but am dealing with memories just the same. Thank you for sharing some of yours with us.
Beth, I’ve never commented here before, but have read your blog for quite some time. I just had to say a huge “AMEN” about the head-shaking goodness of God. I’ve had those conversations with Him. The ones where you say to Him, “Only you and I know the full depth of all that you brought me through, but I’ll never forget it, and I’ll never stop thanking you. It’ll make me sing louder and raise my hands higher every chance I get. It will make more emphatic every encouragement I ever give someone about what God’s about to do for them.” Then you just put on your favorite worship music or make your own right there in the car or in your house, or wherever you are when you just had the shudder that reminded you what could have, should have been, but what IS instead. I’m singing and shouting his goodness alongside you, all the way from Seattle 🙂
By the way, when I was out running errands a little while ago, a great big purple box truck with “SPUD” in capital letters on the side, came around the corner right before my eyes. I grinned and prayed for your Spud!
Thank you for praying for him, Lori! I talked to him this morning on the way to work. He sounded good. May God continue to increase your sense of His presence and affection.
Praise God for your gift with words! Your stories and memories just jump off the page! I can “see” everything you’re saying. This touched me so very much on so many different levels and has encouraged me to re-read Deuteronomy with a fresh eye. I also love having an update on Michael-I’ve wondered about him for so long and am pleased that he is doing well. Again and again, thank you…for sharing, for letting God use you for the Siestas, and for praying and loving us! We are so blessed!!!
Oh, Yes timing- I just returned from Brownwood Texas having heard Stormie and Jennifer- You have no idea how your post and their teachings “HIT” the bulls eye on my life today-
I went through all my memorabilia when I moved from my last house I seriously doubt my grown sons would ever find any of it interesting- I celebrated and cried – then let them go- God picked the perfect timing as it seems to have happened to you and Keith- change, change, change-
I want to have the courage to remember well and allow the new seasons of life to challenge and enrich me- Lots of love and thank you for sharing such a personal experience- I loved the photograph of Michael, he is beautiful!
I know you are popular. Praise God for the hype and pizazz. Beyond the sparkly, you do me well. From a real place, from this chair on a cold and grieveous night, your honesty does me well.
Great is Thy faithfulness, O, God, my Father.
There is no shadow of turning with Thee.
Thou changest not, Thy compassions, they fail not.
As Thou hast been, Thou forever wilt be.
These words reverberate through my soul after reading this post. I am SO GLAD that God sees us through every moment. I love you, Siesta Mamma!
Beth,
I just wanted to say thank you for being so honest. There are few too few Christian leaders who are afraid to share the “real truth” of what their story really is. When I see the pictures and hear the stories I am reminded of my own Mom and Dad who were saved as hippies and drug addicts at 18 and went off to Bible school then back to NYC to start a ministry and impact the world. Along the way we, as a family have seen heartache, experienced persecution, had our own family members fall short( yours truly) and through it all the one thing that has remained is a love for God and a love for people that pushes you to do the unimaginable. Living a life on display is a scary call. You do it with good hair and a courageous spirit! Sorry had to mention the hair. Tonight I laugh at what my dear husband and I will find one day. I am 38 and married him after I got pregnant at our Christian University we both attended. Let’s just say when your Dad is doing the alter call because he is the chapel speaker that we snd you go up front to say your pregers and your parents did not know you had a boyfriend it is quite a shock. My parents were Jesus to me in the moment I needed HIM MOST. Tonight I am praising God that you let me hear all the great ways you Remember what God had done and is still doing for You. My story goes on and on and one day my kids will look in my box and find it full of things that turned from one thing into another… Btw. I am doing James and have James 1 memorized already. You are the only women who I think is as cool as my own mother! ( I’m just saying).
I deeply treasured every word you typed to us in this post as I went back with you in those years past through your studies and conferences. I remember the heartache you suffered when Michael was no longer with your family, we all suffered with you. I love the story of him allowed to pick only one flower from your mother’s garden and he picked her biggest, best sunflower and was so proud, not realizing the horror you were experiencing inside.
I remember the passion in your eyes and heart when you shared about the first time you went to Buddy’s Bible study class and how a fire was lit in your heart from that day on and the sadness you shared with us when Buddy went home to His Creator.
I saw your depth of love for your precious mentor, Marge Caldwell and when I saw her talk in person and she signed her book for me and smiled such a heavenly smile back at me how you could love her so deeply.I remember that she was actually out serving the Lord when she went home to Him. I thought that amazingly proper and powerful.
Your post touched my heart deeply, I read it twice and thanked God for bringing you into our lives and not only teaching us and drawing us all closer to our Lord through your studies but being our girlfriend too and sharing life with us.Your honesty and transparency are cherished by us.
You made me want to delve into the book of Deuteronomy as we have been through a year of leaning on God to help us get through the sudden unexpected death of our 24 yr old son from heart failure which we had no idea he had any issues. I am doing your study on James with a group of women that have been through related trials this year and like you said, God’s timing is so perfect.We have sobbed tenderly together. Can’t help but be awestruck!
You are so deeply loved by us all and we cherish your friendship and love for us.
You are so generous with your life.
Mrs. Moore,
That is beautiful. You’ve always inspired me to feel our Lord more. Thank you for that. Thank you for your Daniel study in particular. I sat during a video session and begged the Lord for the privilege of knowing Him deeply. He said, “Of course.” I sit here feeling your words from the perspective of His Word….and I am grateful. You use your gifts beautifully.
Love,
Your Sister in Christ
P.S. We will meet in heaven!
Sobbing – this post touched me deeply. I HAVE forgotten about God and how good he has been to me. And I fear that God is also done with me. I had a strong relationship with the Lord and he carried me through the death of my husband in January 2009 (one of my most powerful and closest moments to Christ was reciting the verses I memorized that year at the 1st SSMT event in Jan 2010). But now, 3 years later, am in a very scary place. Not angry, just indifferent and hopeless. Can’t pray. Can’t read scripture. Haven’t been to church in months. The Lord has tested me and I have failed. Praying for the willingness to open my heart toward God again. Your post has prompted me to remember the many ways God has shown up in my life and delivered me and provided for me over these 50 years of my life. And hopefully to help me remember that my story isn’t over yet. Thank you.
Oh, Debbie, He is wooing you back to that secret place with Him. GO! He loves you so. Thank you so much for sharing your heart with us. Our God has indeed carried you.
Beth, I am new to this blog and still very hesitant to comment but here goes. Your resent post caught me by surprise. I read it this morning and have been trying to fully process it all day, and if I can prayerfully apply it to my life. Your moving, and the memory lane it took you down is very precious. Thank you for sharing it with us. It was a blessing but also painful for me to read as it took back to the past 2 years. We lost our home. A home we built with much labor ourselves. As the dreaded time to move approached I was sick at the thought of how I would ever get through it. Not to mention we had no where to live set up of even any money to move or place to move our STUFF to. God came through for us as He has a thousand times before. Our loan company came to us and said if you can be out in 2 weeks and the house is walked through we will give you 4500 dollars. The double blessing was I didn’t have time to stop and go down memory lane. We just moved as fast as we could not looking back. I feel the need to explain so no one looks down on me for this. I still have alot of shame about it and have asked the Lord to forgive us for defaulting on our loan. It is not something we as Christians should do. We made sure when we left it was in perfect shape. As beautiful as the day we moved in. All of our STUFF is still in a metal storage container on a friends property. We are thankful for that. We moved into our rv that we lived in when we spent 2 years building our house. So thankful that my husbands social security makes the payments, but barely. As hopeless as I have felt the last 2 years God has provided over and over. We have been down to our last dime so many times. But every time God came through. We moved our rv 3 times to different friends along the way. God provided the money to move west where we are now sooo blessed to be at a nice rv park with water,tv, electricity. We can only afford the winter rates and will move on soon. It is hard when you are no longer surrounded by your STUFF and all your memories are in a metal container maybe never to be seen again. What I do have is in my heart and mind. Glory to God we have even made it this far. I trust Him for EVERYTHING and know we are where He wants us. At His feet. I have all 6 of my bible studies with me I have done,including the first one I did,”Breaking Free”.I look back at them often and stay in His word. It is life to me. Thank you for letting me share. God is good all the time.
Only be careful and watch yourselves closely so that you do not forget the things your eyes have seen or let them slip from your heart as long as you live. Deut 4:9
That was one of my 2011 verses I memorized and I had the same feelings….God does not waste ANY of it!
Beth Moore- Those Buddy Walters tapes – I was so excited when I saw your cassettes! I am a cassette junkie and since the day I heard you mention him many years ago in my first study Believing God , wished I could hear this man who made the Scriptures so alive to you because his excitement of the Scriptures rippled out through you to me (and my girl friends). I would soooo love a copy of his teaching-oh to hear his excitement that it made you go to your car and weep that you wished you had what he had. oh that touched me. Is there anywhere on the web I can buy any such thing? or get a copy of yours? Do NOT get rid of them- they need their own little golden treasure box but not to be kept in an attic. I am so glad they had not disintegrated as some of mine have. I have baskets of cassettes of your ministry-always dig into it to take one with me in the car, or a series on my travels, or in my bedroom as I have cassette players everywhere since my old car only does cassettes. I love that wherever it stopped, I can pick it out and take it to the next room or car with me and just continue the teaching.
Yes I am so glad I learned young that His Timing is Sovereign- and still learning and experiencing it- especially if we look for it we can see His perfect timing in everything throughout each day, even the interruptions he sends our way as Jill Briscoe just reminded me on a dvd. The Lord provided last summer a chunk of time for me alone to go thru our attic too of 24 years of living in this house my husband built us beside my parents who are now in glory. Attic treasures, yes, a time to remember- also guilt, regrets, memorial markers, praising God, crying out to Him to bring back to Himself our son who has wandered as I went thru his younger school stuff and salvation record, and also a time to set apart “one era of life for another” . I am entering a new season of life with the Lord, open to serve Him daily in however He deems me to minister, as Jill Briscoe so delightfully reminded me last night.
His Timing- I am just in the Psalms in 106 where we are reminded that “they did not remember..they soon forgot what He had done…they forgot the God who saved them…”but because of His unfailing love He rescued them. We are reminded in Ps. 78 to share with our children and the next generation all the praiseworthy deeds of the Lord …that they would put their trust in God, and would not forget his deeds but would keep His commands, so that they would not be like their forefathers-a stubborn and rebellious generation, whose hearts were not loyal to God, whose spirits were not faithful to Him. Let us not only remember, but then believe and trust Him too, and share His Awesome Love and Power to those whom the Lord places in our lives.
Siesta Mama Beth,
Thank you so much for your transparency!! God has encouraged my broken heart so much through you and LPM. I am lifting you and your loved ones up before our Precious Lord. By the way I am loving The James Study 🙂
Thanks for sharing such a sweet post, and taking the time to sit down and write it all out for us! As others have said, you’ve been to me (in many ways) what you mention Buddy Walters having been to you. The craziest part about it all, is that I grew up just miles from you and your family, and it wasn’t until I found myself all the way out here in Los Angeles that I did my first study of yours and was introduced to your ministry. I mean, I played volleyball at Klein Forest High School and was a year behind Amanda graduating – I’m certain we must have all shared a gymnasium at least once or twice. You’re so right though, God is so amazing with His timing and His plan, and I’m grateful to be on this ride with Him.
It is like you lived today with me. God and I started with some confusion–well, I was confused–and He slowly unfolded memory after memory, fitted perfectly to blow away the fog. Amen.
This post spoke volumes to me to remember the mercy of God. To remember Him through the rough waters for He has been faithful and He never changes. I can’t help but think of the hymn Come Thou Fount of Every Blessing especially this verse:
Sorrowing I shall be in spirit,
Till released from flesh and sin,
Yet from what I do inherit,
Here Thy praises I’ll begin;
Here I raise my Ebenezer;
Here by Thy great help I’ve come;
And I hope, by Thy good pleasure,
Safely to arrive at home.
For it is the Ebenezer stone, the stone of help that this post resonates in my soul. To remember where He has been my help and portion. Thank you for this post. God is so good in the timeliness of this message.