At times like these, I wish so much I hadn’t already overused words like “amazed” or “awed” to describe what I’m feeling about God. Or “blown away” or “astonished” or “stunned.” For instance, I think I recall using a few of those very words about a red bird I saw in my yard yesterday. Not that God’s handiwork displayed on the delicate wings of a bird of such brilliant color that it has its own name (cardinal red) isn’t amazing. It’s just that I feel something on a slightly larger and more personal scale right now. I wish I’d reserved a few of the synonyms for “awed” for those rarer moments when I feel it to such full measure that my skin almost feels too tight for my soul. When I’m half tempted to do nothing but sit, stare out a window, and shake my head for hours on end. Times I want to say something like, “Who is this God who pursues us so personally?” Or in the psalmist’s words, “What is man that You are mindful of him, and the son of man that You care for him?” I wouldn’t bother sharing this sense I have in my heart with you if I thought moments like these weren’t smattered on the canvases of all followers of Christ. But they are. You’ve had them, too. I’m hoping you’ll remember some of them today. And perhaps you’ve had these moment of inexpressible awe for the very same reason:
The flabbergasting (I’ve overused that word, too) timing of God.
Timing that illustrates to you once again that the God of the universe who called the heavens and earth into existence really does know you are alive and what you are presently experiencing…and even thinking.
You’ve had times like the one I’m currently experiencing. Times when God made sure you were studying a particular thing at the exact time when it spoke most profoundly into that stretch of your journey. For instance, think of a time when you didn’t get to go through a particular Bible study journey during the same set of weeks as your regular discipleship group and maybe you didn’t get around to it for several years…but, when you did, you realized that God had distinctly held it for you until then. I mean, how on earth does He know??
You and I know the answer to that question Biblically. God is omniscient. A meticulous planner is He. But psychologically, don’t we still find it shocking? I mean, how on earth does He have the energy to keep up with millions of His followers and exactly what we need and at exactly which time?
Yes, we know the answer to that question Biblically, too. But, humanly, aren’t we still sometimes taken aback by it?
While Melissa and I were studying James together, she got wrapped up in the Book of Deuteronomy (they have flagrant ties) and talked about it enough that I also got drawn in. Enough, in fact, that by early Fall I knew God was preparing me to teach portions of it in our Tuesday night series that would begin in late January. (She would also co-teach by writing coinciding articles for our Bible study group. It’s the one we are currently serving.)
In preparation for the January series, I decided to start reading the Book of Deuteronomy as part of my quiet time every morning starting in November (of 2011). I did not in any way have preconceived notions about the theme in the life of the Israelites matching up to a major move in my personal life. I chose it strictly because it would prepare me daily toward teaching parts of it several months later. Of course, I anticipated that God would speak to me through it because His Word is alive and active but I had no thought of the concept being perfectly timed for me personally.
As God would have it, the whole book was/is about moving to new ground. (To us this side of Christ’s ascension, this shift to a land of promise would serve powerfully as a metaphor for new ground in our fruit-bearing as obvious disciples of Jesus Christ but, for me, it happened at a time when the applications were multilayered and so much so that, to ignore it would have been a fool’s choice.) And here’s the part that left me slack-jawed. One of the most powerful messages in the Deuteronomy is the warning never to forget where you’ve been with Him, what He has done for you, and that He alone is your God and that to forget Him is total destruction to you. From Chapter 8 alone…
V.2 “And you shall remember the whole way that the Lord your God has led you.”
V.11 “Take care lest you forget the Lord your God.”
V.14 “lest, when you have eaten and are full and built good houses and live in them …then your heart be lifted up, and you forget the Lord your God who brought you out of the land of Egypt, out of the house of slavery…”
V.18 “You shall remember the Lord your God.”
V.19 “And if you forget the Lord your God, I solemnly warn you today that you shall surely perish.”
Let me tell you something, Sweet Thing. There is nothing quite like emptying out a house you’ve been thoroughly entrenched in for nearly thirty years to cause you to remember. Keith sat across from me a few days ago, leaned back in the chair, placed his large palms on his knees – almost as if to brace himself – and said as soberly as anything I’ve ever heard him utter, “I have relived 25 years of our lives as I have cleared out that attic.” It wasn’t the time for me to correct him on exactly how many years it had been. “Well, 27 to be exact” was not about to come out of my mouth. In fact, I hardly said anything at all. I just nodded my head and sat in silence for a few minutes with him. It was a sacred selah because I knew that some of the things he’d remembered had brought joy. And some of the things he’d remembered had brought pain. I knew because the same thing had happened to me. The next day we were in his truck together going to Dairy Queen for a chocolate malt when I brought it back up.
“Keith, don’t you think it is so incredibly odd that God made sure you were out of town while I (and the movers) packed the house up for our move then you did the whole attic by yourself because I was back at work? Do you think it could be any coincidence that God had each of us by ourselves to remember so much of our lives there?”
Same house. Same children. Many of the same exact occurrences. But two completely different people with distinct DNA who processed the same events very differently. Just as Amanda would have. Just as Melissa would have. Just as even Michael would have after his seven short years in our home. You and I share many corporate events with the people in our familial circles: births, deaths, disappointments, celebrations, routines, great surprises, sudden crises. But, if we’ll let Him, God tends to us all uniquely and intimately and means each of us to glean something distinct in the process. Maybe something altogether opposite from the person sitting right beside us at the time.
The kinds of things we unearthed in the move seemed strategically planted by God, set right there for us to find one at a time as if we were following closely to a dog-eared treasure map.
Several of them came to me in a box Keith found in the attic. I’d forgotten it existed.
I took the lid off and saw this:
Very uncharacteristically, Keith had looked through the whole thing before giving it to me. Don’t think that won’t make a woman nervous. In it, he’d found the first card he ever gave me. We laughed until our sides split over how beautifully it depicted us. It was like we’d had a word of knowledge about what was coming. Our whole 33 year old marriage has been the steady recycling of this exact same card given back and forth to one another:
Inside the box was the very first prayer journal I suppose I ever owned. I think that I recall a revival pastor coming to my church at the time and telling us about these little notebooks and I purchased one. I smile as I try to estimate how many I’ve purchased since. I used one this very morning.
It’s so moving to find keepsakes that you actually dated and penned with your own (young!) hand. I would have sensed the call of God on my life and walked the aisle at my church to make it public one summer before.
I read many things in that first journal that made me smile and others that pooled the tears in my eyes. Others out right mystified me. To say that I was in denial over my past childhood abuse is a mind-boggling understatement but that’s another subject for another time. Let me just say for now that I watched my own pen flat-out lie to me over and over again. I even thanked God for the relationship I had with someone who’d abused me. Nuts. That very malfunction would put me in counseling in my early thirties. I woke up alright. That subject aside, I want to show you a specific page out of the journal because it held significant tenderness for me.
See the very top entry? That was intercession for the young people I got to serve at my home church. I was sponsoring that very group at a church camp when I first sensed a vocational call. See that second entry? I did hurt that person. A very wonderful person who deserved far better. I didn’t want to hurt him. But I surely did. I was on a terrible rebound and couldn’t be trusted emotionally. See that third entry? It was about a possible internship at a church in the Houston area. (The town is Humble, Texas. Not the name of the church. I wonder now if I meant First Baptist Humble but I’m not sure. Back then, I might not have known the difference. Grin.) They didn’t hire me and, at the time, I almost talked myself into believing that I’d made up the whole calling. I find it interesting and pathetic how quickly we (I) tend to give up and think God has passed us (me) by. I’d have made a terrible Abraham.
Now, look back up at that last entry from the page in my first journal. I fell head-over-heels in love with a young man in college who I dated for the better part of two years. He never even pretended to feel the same way about me (not his fault, God’s will) and my beaten-up heart finally shattered into a thousand pieces as I accepted it as a lost cause and bowed out. Fast forward 35 years. What makes this discovery in the journal so tender is that I received a call several weeks ago from my college roommate telling me in tears that this young man – who was now in his mid-fifties – had died that very morning of a heart attack. No warning. No prior heart problem. I had not seen him in many years. I grieved immediately and deeply for his lovely wife who he adored and who would miss him terribly. Only God could have had the tenderness to let me see this page only a short time later and have a moment’s personal mourning and remembrance over someone I’d felt much for many years earlier. God did not owe me that. It was tender mercy. Who but Christ does something like that??
There were other treasures found elsewhere. Like this picture of Keith and me boarding a cruise liner the morning after we married. (Our honeymoon was our wedding gift from his parents. We wouldn’t have two extra nickles to rub together for many years.)
That was the man I was meant to marry. And we have continued to ride many waves. It was deeply significant to me that God not only planned for me to find treasures from my spiritual journey. He also had similar intentions for Keith. I had never seen these certificates and Keith had no memory of them being placed in his possession by his parents.
We found a whole bag of cassette-taped messages from Buddy Walters, the mentor that God used to strike a flaming desire in my heart to study Scripture. He was my first Bible doctrine teacher. These messages were preached years later at the church in North Carolina where he served as associate pastor.
Curtis converted them into CD’s for me last week. I’ve been listening to them and hearing the echo of that strong voice of authority and affection for the Lord Jesus Christ that took my breath away in my mid-twenties. Buddy died in his mid-forties and has been with the Lord for many years now but his ministry is poured into every message we have at Living Proof. God’s ways are so strange and beautiful. God knew that I could not fully “remember” my journey with Him without remembering the sound of this mouthpiece. My deepest love affair with Jesus through His Word began under that man’s teaching.
You can quite imagine that we unearthed artifact after artifact from our children’s lives. Stuffed animals. Artwork. Report cards. Clothes. You name it. I hadn’t seen this picture in so long. We were at Keith’s baby sister’s wedding. Oh, mercy, I love these two little girls so much. In this mother’s heart, they are about this same age.
I shared with you in a post soon after we moved (Dec. 2011) that I’d declared to Keith that I’d never leave that house. I also told you that one (irrational, unexplainable) reason was the fear that our time with Michael (who lived with us for seven years) would seem less real, further removed, and the door permanently closed. It was real alright. In this move, we’ve discovered him all over our house. Stacks and stacks of pictures, albums, artwork, report cards, etc, etc, etc. I found this letter that we received some months after he left.
Spud was our nickname for him. I also found this particular school picture. It was the year he departed our home. Wasn’t he beautiful?
As it turned out, the move did not distance us further nor close the door permanently. I have seen him as recently as two weeks ago and get to stay in regular communication with him. God is so gracious. Michael looks fairly different now but he is still so darling. He is a tattoo artist and has practiced a good deal on himself. I am smiling. I love him. And I am so, so proud of him.
The 8th chapter of the Book of Deuteronomy says to remember “the whole way” (V.2) the Lord has led you. The “terrible” (NASB) and “terrifying” (ESV) wilderness (V.15) and the miracles of manna and water from the flinty rock. (Vv.15-16) Translation? Remember the awful times. Remember the awesome times. I not only dug up sweet memories. I’ve stumbled upon some terrifying ones. Some that I wish to heaven I could have forgotten. Some that make my skin crawl. I found journal entries from a time of such utter darkness in my life that only God could have brought me through in one piece. Reading my pleas from that time stirred up such strong emotions that I could have thrown up. I kept having to remind myself to keep my memories in the light of God and not let them descend into the darkness of the enemy. When I remember them before God who delivered me, I am helped. When I remember them before the enemy who full-well meant to destroy me, I am haunted. Oh, the grace and mercy God has had upon my life. He is the only good in me. I’m sure Keith found reminders of some dark days of his own. And those are between God and him. I’ll leave you with one last picture. Keith sent me this one from his phone two days ago to let me know that the house was completely empty. Don’t think it wasn’t significant to me.
Oh, yes, Lord. I definitely remember the heaps of trash. Thank You for assuring us that, through Your mercy, all of it – EVERY SINGLE BIT OF IT – has been thrown into the depths of the sea, swallowed up in a fountain of blood.YOU ALONE are our God. YOU ALONE delivered Keith and I from such miry clay. YOU ALONE have kept my family in tact. YOU ALONE have spared us so much shame and lifelong defeat. You alone persistently dogged us with Your Holy Spirit and Your Word until we could no longer cover our ears. You alone saw people worth fixing in our brokenness. And You still do. I never want to forget, Lord. Never.
“Take care lest you forget the Lord your God…who brought you out of the house of slavery.”
Deuteronomy 8:16 says something so riveting that I can hardly read it without having a visceral reaction. It says that God TESTS us and HUMBLES us “to do you good in the end.”
In the end. Seems like we’ve heard that somewhere before. Somewhere this side of the Cross.
“And we know that for those who love God all things work together for good, for those who are called according to His purpose.” Romans 8:28 ESV
Oh Mama Beth – I could go on and on all day about His timing in my life these days…. Breaking Free this past summer (after trying to do it twice before), the SSMTC message (bringing it full circle) followed up with Curtis’ message that sunday… Wow. And now James. All wrapped up in God’s ultimate faithful timing in my life right now. I cannot tell you how this community has rallied on my behalf in prayer and support and love through it all. I am so thankful to be a siesta!
And now, going through things as we prepare for OUR move into a new house. Finding pics of my BFF and another sweet YOUNG friend who have gone on to Jesus’ arms. The memories – some I can finally face for the first time without burden and pain and others which left me reeling in their new found freshness of Blessings. He.Is.So.GOOD.
And, as it turns out, even in the timing that I was NOT happy about – a change in plans!!! – has turned into a Blessing in disguise. HE.Is.So.FAITHFUL!
And I.Am.So.BLESSED!
Thank you for the reminder! LOVE YOU SO!
Oh Beth….I have a huge lump in my throat. I didn’t know if I would make it through. Like so many others, I was picturing pieces of my past as you told your story with a flood of memories and emotions that made me just hold my breath……I knew the ending was good.
Thank you Jesus!!!!!!!! I am in such awe and wonder over His love for this crazy messed up girl who ran long and hard away from Him. The details and tenderness toward us all can almost be too much to bear.
You showed me Jesus and the power of His Word 6 years ago. You continue to teach me in day to day living….not just through bible study dvd’s, but through this community. It is the real deal and I’m forever grateful. You love us so well. You love Him beautifully.
So much love,
Fran
Oh Beth, what a sweet, tender, perfectly-timed post! I don’t have adequate words to express how much it blessed me this evening. Thank you for sharing so much of yourself with us as it brings us all closer to the Lord together.
P.S. I just recently finished the James study, and as soon as I saw your topic for the Tuesday night Bible study, I laughed out loud (in a good way!) and thought to myself that James had surely led you there (although of course it was the Lord’s plan all along). Too bad I don’t live anywhere near Houston to be able to attend…
Thanks again for your heart in serving the Lord that blesses us so much!
Precious. Every word of it.
Beth,
God never ceases to amaze me at how just the right words appear before my eyes at the time I need them. He has been this way all along – I have not always been so willing/able to see. Through the words God puts on your heart and pushes you to express through writing, I have been encouraged.
I have prayed for you and your sweet Michael over the years, having 2 girls and a precious boy of my own, I felt connected to your joy. Understanding loss, although not in the same way, I felt connected to your grief.
Thank you from the very bottom of my heart for sharing yours. You have helped to teach me to be joyful because of Him! 1 Thess 5:16-18.
Kel
Beth, someday I hope to be able to stand face to face with you in this life, and tell you how your words have impacted my life. First in your book “Breaking Free”, and now tonight in this post. I cannot type for the tears. I love you for sharing your own darkness to reach into another person’s darkness and help pull her out. Thank you for listening to the Spirit, and speaking TRUTH to us! I know I’m the thousandth comment, and you probably won’t even see this, but I had to tell you. Thank you, thank you, thank you. May God continue to give you the words to speak to the broken, hurting, sinful souls in this world. If I don’t get to meet you in this life, I’m going to hug your neck in heaven!
Love, Kathryn
Thank you Beth, it felt like I was walking down a sacred path of memory! It was beautiful!
Your honeymoon pic was Perfect! To see all the hope and joy in your faces – exactly how I pictured you in your younger days!
Your spud was Handsome indeed! 😀
The girls are Angelic! 🙂
Thank you for sharing your heart, home and memories with those of us you probably will never meet this side of heaven; we love You! You are so very precious to us too!
I did not keep diaries or journals in my youth, did not until late 30’s. But recently I did find a journal I had done with ‘Jesus 90 Days with the One and Only’ two years ago, and loved seeing my answers then, and see the woman I was, and how grown I’ve become. That woman only 2 years ago is so precious to me now, to see the sweet childish qualities and know GOD used even her.
God Bless you and Keith in your new home, with many more precious moments to uncover years from now!
This post spoke so tenderly to my heart. Thank you for sharing the picture of beautiful Michael, and the update on his life. Thank you for opening your heart and for allowing us to share in your precious memories. God Bless you and Keith in your new home. I look forward to pictures and stories of the escapades from the new Moore household.
Oh Wow!…What a wonderful post. This is the part that spoke to me the most, “One of the most powerful messages in the Deuteronomy is the warning never to forget where you’ve been with Him, what He has done for you, and that He alone is your God and that to forget Him is total destruction to you. From Chapter 8 alone…” I think it means so much to me because I see where I have come from and what He has done/doing for me thus far. I look forward to continuing my journey with Him and seeing all He has planned for me (and always remembering what He has done). 🙂
So beautiful…you make me want to love Jesus even more (Moore?) than I already do. Thank you for sharing your personal memories but more than that…thank you for giving God the glory. Very recently I completed a timeline of my life (similar to what we did with Believing God)– I used yellow post-its to identify significant events, orange post-its to record hard times or “ouches” and then arranged them all chronologically. A picture of my life emerged and definite periods of blessing and hard times. I used blue post-its to categorize the seasons of my life: “Waiting” was my childhood, “Building” was early marriage and parenthood, etc. Then I used green post-its to identify God’s fingerprints all over my life and the lessons He’s taught me so far. Remembering is good!
Momma Beth,
After reading this post, I wish you could see my WOW face. 🙂 Just so personal and poignant. I really believe there always has to be darkness before the dawn and sometimes, well all the times. We have to go through the problem to find our way out of the problem. What sweet tenderness and mercies you have unearthed from your home. Our God is so faithful and sweet and dependable. Even at our darkest times when we don’t know where to turn, “Whether you turn to right or to the left, your ears will hear a voice behind you saying, “This is the way; walk in it.” Isaiah 30:21. Thank you for sharing yourself with us, it is an honor to walk in Christ with you, you are such a blessing. <3
Thank you Beth for sharing such personal thoughts and memories with us. There are so many times I read things from you or hear you speak and I am thankful that you are so transparent. It is one of the biggest blessings to me as I grow and strive to be a woman of God. Helps me realize that I am not alone. You are the real deal Beth Moore, you are the real deal.
You know, of course, that I love Keith Holy Communion and Confirmation certificates!!!
Important to remember the milestones of our spiritual journeys. Thank you for this lovely post.
Blessings in abundance dear friend! love, Sister Lynn
Oh Mama Beth,
I just love you so much. Your post is so touching and open and from the heart and so encouraging to me right now. I am having some issues and while I know this is part of God’s plan…some days I am just plain weary and tired and wondering why now Lord? But I am growing and I know that is good. God is sometimes so amazing to me that I can’t believe He has the time to show me. Each day I ask Him what are you going to show me today? Somedays I am thinking I must have been out of mind when I asked him that! But He always answers.
Thank you for being so real with us. I love our siestville. It is the place where I can let my hair down and have a cup of tea with my favorite mama and sisters.
One Word; WOW!!! =)
Wonderful, beautiful and terrible even pieces of confetti–throw them in the air and CELEBRATE. For God has and is and will put every piece together. He’s good like that. Love you, Beth.
On another note, I lunched with Joanne today. We looked through some confetti of our own. I told her how my friend Linda (from high school) died in a car wreck 25 years ago on the 7th. And I told her, as I read through tribute after tribute, I could not stop thanking Him for her life and how we won’t have that awful anniversary to regret, but to GLORIFY GOD–for she is ALIVE! How her precious mother smiled. They both love you so and will be sitting front and center in Colorado Springs in June. I hope you will have a moment with them.
As I pack for the 14th time in 16 years this brings new insight into going through all the pages, momentos and pictures I keep finding. Thank you so much for sharing your treasures.
Also, I love that honeymoon picture :). You both look so glamorous!
when I was a young mom I did every Beth Moore study that came along … because I loved them … and most importantly, they offered free childcare! 🙂 I remember, I think, one of the studies learning the story of Michael but I’ve forgotten much of it. In fact I had forgotten all of it until I read this and saw his picture. I remember it was heartbreaking. Perhaps you’ve written a post about it … if so maybe you could repost it. He IS adorable and so fortunate, I know, to have lived with and been a part of your family.
One of the most powerful things that has ever come from your pen, Beth.
~ hi mama beth 🙂
It’s crazy how when God asks you to be obidient that it feels like you’ve stepped away
from something that was so important to you for like 15 years when it’s only
been a month or so.
Deut 31:2-8 has been my rapids and waterfall type verse,
“The Lord will crossover ahead of you” ” The Lord will be with you.”
this has been huge for me.
Y’all have no idea what God has been working in me, and He is doing things inside me
that sadly I always thought were “lost cause” prayers…let’s be honest we all
have had prayers we just doubted regardless of what we said…
But no, he really answered them!!
I am preparing on a promotion at my job, and I’m stepping out of my comfort
zone and finding joy in serving those in crisis.
1 Cor 13-7-11 —- I am not the child anymore,
He is asking for more…I choose to follow.
I know I babbled on people, but I really wanted to share my heart
and I know I won’t be able to share as I used to have time.
But He is so real and I am so happy to see Him move in so
many peoples lives.
Love you all.
xoxo
Angie
Im glad you babbled (i do too) I totally love those verses and hear you on them. The Deut. one about don’t panic b/c GOD goes ahead of you was and is huge to me.
Amazing entry Beth, thank you for sharing so honestly. You are a love!
xo
d
Beth, Thank you once again for opening a window into your life for us to peer in and share just a little of what God has done and where He’s brought you from. Your transparent nature is one of the qualities that make you such a special person to us. You are real and I love that about you! Don’t ever change!!! Love and Blessings!!
This is my first time to write although I have been with you in Bible study since the beginning,yes…I’m about your age:) The picture of Michael reminded me of going through one of your Bible studies where you talked about having to give him up…the Lord’s timing was perfect. We had taken in a young man from Boy’s Country a year and a half before and due to circumstances he had to leave our home but I grieved. It was like God gave me something personal in that study I could relate to and grieve with. I too recently got back in contact with Ronnie through fb. I would also like to say, “thank you” for taking a moment out of your busy day to speak to my future DIL. She ran into you at Houston Int. on her way to Costa Rica on a mission trip a couple of summers ago and was a little uneasy about the trip. She saw you and said Hi and told you she was doing Esther. She expected a quick word and that’s all. You were so sweet to visit with her for a few moments and make her feel like she had run into a friend. You made her day. She took a picture of the two of you on her phone and it’s sooo cute! Thanks for being real. PS I’m a pastor’s wife and you in addition to my husband helped me to love studying God’s word.
So worth the wait for your post today!
I love how God works! Recently He has let me remember some times that I didn’t even realize I forgot!
Thank you for sharing your life and your family in the studies you’ve written and the blog!
Jesus brought me back to Him through you in 2003. I am forever in debt to you!
Pam
Dear Beth, The depth of your story is more than my heart can hold, so it spills onto the keys. I too have a precious foster child thatis outthere somewhere. She is like my little sister. Only by the grace of My Lord am I able to emotionally survive.I am drawn to your story of Micheal with a Passion. I will continue to pray for him. Love Lorraine
Beth, I cannot even put into words the thoughts that are racing through my mind so I’ll just tell you what I tell God often… “There are no words big enough!” The verses from Deuteronomy were exactly the ones I needed.
I have only seen my father twice in the last 19 years. The last time was nine years ago. Both of those were painful, painful experiences, yet God has healed those wounds – ones that were so deep. Just yesterday I saw my father again. He is very ill, and while it was hard, there was such sweet peace afterwards because I remember… and I know… I have been delivered!
What a sweet post it is so enjoying (somehow I don’t feel that word works here) to see and read of your remembering. It is kinda ironic becuz I am doing my own remembering tonite too. My beloved little salt and pepper mini schnauzer is snoring lightly beside me and I am remembering. She (Tiffy) has some serious health issues and tomorrow I take her to her vet and i am afraid of what I am gona hear. She has a frightening amount of tumors all over and some very noticable swelling I started noticing the last two times I clipped her. I oculd hear her time is limited and for that reason I am remembering. The night we brought her home and I told my hubby how cute she was and all he oculd ask is “how much?” Her first grooming when I saw that gorgeous gray coat and did not know she was my dog! The day of 911 when I worried we would get bombed and we would have to leave her to herself and flee to a bomb shelter. The days of deep depression when I just stayed in bed all day and she would put her little body right next to mine just to let me know she was there. The times she licked the salty tears from my face as they ran down my cheeks.
The times she would chase the cats up our small ornamental crab apple trees and thier tails would hang to low and Tiffy would pull their tails and they would almost fall out of the tree! The times she can cock her head like all dogs do when I ask her a question and somehow I just know she understands. The times she runs to the door and stands on two legs and looks back at me just like a kid asking “can I go too?” She knows I am going ‘Bye bye car”! I have bawled like a baby now for two days over the thought of her days coming to a close but it is part of life. I pray that I will be able to steal afew more months dare I ask for years from her yet? most people who do not understand the relationship we have with these pets would say this is totally stupid but don’t tell this to someone who has buried a furry friend and grieved for them like a loved one. I know I have buried both. The pain is the same! Some how though you do not get the sympathy from others cuz it is “just a pet”. Well I know others have alot better things to post than me going on about a sick pet but anyway, I am remembering tonite too. I love ya Beth Thanks for the memories!!!Betty M
Hi Betty, I just want to say I am sorry to see your little friend is suffering. I too will pray that she is able to get help and stay with you awhile longer.
I lost a little friend (Dandy cat) 2 years ago, and the loss is still felt.
God Bless you Betty and God Bless Tiffy!
Betty–
I totally understand how special pets are in our lives and I want you to know I care. I am so sorry.
This was exactly what I needed to read right now. Timing of God…amazing mercy. Thank you, Beth!
I remember.
Beth,
I came home from a precious time with my small group after week four of your insightful James study, spent some sweet time visiting with my hubby and opened my email to find your tender blog. It was like a PS. of continued Good News! Just when I thought today couldn’t get any better, I find another treasure in your candid sharing of your recent move.
Your comment, “I kept having to remind myself to keep my memories in the light of God and not let them descend into the darkness of the enemy'” especially touched me. So often the discourager throws his arrows stirring hurtful memories of the past which cloud the true miracles of God’s restoration in my life. I am grateful for my precious family, friends and ministry that God has provided through the pain of my past and know He is not finished.
Thank-you for persevering!
Blessed to be a Siesta!
This was sacred ground, thank you for sharing a glimpse of your heart. I loved seeing and hearing about Michael. I remember him so from your earliest studies. I have two sons who I adore, and I am so thankful that you had 7 years and still see him now. Keep telling him you love him and are proud. It matters to boys from moms, it really really does. My faith was small and God did the miraculous in my eldest. He is almost 18 and truly on fire for the Lord….lots of years of kindling and the HS recently struck the match. He strengthened my faith and I am praying miracles for your Michael. Love you so, sister!
Thank you for writing this. I’m sure it wasn’t easy to share.
One of the things I don’t want to ever forget is how fortunate I was to stumble upon Beth Moore and a few other precious authors about four or five years ago. The trouble I was in at the time has led to a desperate seek and FIND for the TRUTH of God’s word. Oh honey, I have found HIM. He is everything to me. So faithful and so much more than I ever expected Him to be!
My life is so much richer because of what God has shown and is continually showing me through your work.
Love this post. Love Mercy Triumphs. Love the GOD of heaven and earth who cared enough for me to place you in my path Beth Moore!
I’ve sat in Tuesday night Bible Study the last 3 wks as you’ve spoken directly to me. However, this past Tuesday and this post have done me in. I’ve just victoriously overcome the most difficult time in my 18 yr marriage. Since the hurt, my goal has been to get past it & even forget about it. But forgetting about it means forgetting God’s sustaining love through it all. Forgetting His faithfulness to me, my husband & my children. I don’t EVER want to forget that. I want to remember his grace in allowing us a second chance and the opportunity of do-over after do-over. I’m thankful for your words, your ministry, your obedience. See you in a week and a half. Can’t wait to hear what the Lord has for me then!
Beth, I absolutely loved this post…it has been a while since I visted your blog…but just as you reminded me…God’s timing is perfect. Tonight He reminds me that His I AM’s are bigger than my I am nots…and even though I am just beginning this jaunt into ministry…that I need not doubt His calling…thank you sweet Beth…and thank you sweet Lord for leading me to Beth tonight 🙂
Dear Beth, Thank you for pointing me back to the feet of God! Our prayed for 8 years miracle baby has been crying a lot this last week. We received orders (military) for moving to California. We have been blessed for the last 4 years to live in the same town as my parents and now we are leaving. A bit of a stressful week but nothing compared to what many have/are going through. God is good and walks with me, I am not alone. Thank you very much for the reminders!
Beth, Thank you. Your post was precious. I love you.
Talk about “timing.” I’ve always known He’s in control but just today I was sharing with someone that it was only God’s timing that made a situation turn out so perfectly. It was something that was hurtful to me as a mommy but now I see that this woman’s heart was hardened for a purpose almost a full year ago so that just two weeks ago her heart would be softened at just the right financial moment for us (long story) and we could see God’s happy ending. (Well, happy beginning. grin.) And then to hear your words. It’s all to the glory of God. More perfect timing…just finished day 2 (or was it 3) of James first week. Paul’s testimony – everyone’s testimony – inspires us to praise our Father (paraphrasing.) Okay, I’m rambling. I’m just so glad to “know” you and am always blessed by your words. Thanks so much. (Even though I rarely comment, I’m so happy to be a part of Siestaville.)
Beth,
This post was so very tender. Thank you for sharing your personal journey. I read the date of your journal (June 12, 1977)…just one year exactly before I was born. Fast forward 33 years and God has used Bible studies, video devotions, and this little blog to mentor this heart of mine. Just a few weeks ago you asked us to post what was most concerning to us. I posted that anxiety has been huge for me. I was so thankful to watch your video devotion dealing with anxiety. This week, I started going through the Steps to Freedom in Christ by Neil T. Anderson with a lady from my church. I cannot believe how much freedom the Lord has brought. I have realized that the anxiety was an excuse and blame for my real problem: sin. I have been to doctors, 2 psychiatrists, a psychologist, tried about every medicine on the market, stayed in patient at a mental health facility…all to help me find treatment for panic attacks that have plagued me for so many years. I haven’t taken any medicine for the last few days. I understand now that I have been listening to lies from our enemy and have believed them for so long that I thought they were my thoughts. I thought they had come from me. I know God wouldn’t tell me those things and I didn’t want to think those things. I realize now that they originated from Satan and he has gained access because I left the door wide open in my heart. I have been saved since I was 13, but have not maintained my freedom in Christ. I let sin in and hid it, covered it, and blamed others. I am just thanking God for all the ways He has been moving in my heart. I am thankful for the ways He has used you to speak to my heart. He is sooo good! Too good!
Thanks Beth!! I love God! And I love you!!
Yes God’s perfect timing is incredible ALL of the time!!! Just the Word I needed (Romans 8:28) at the EXACT moment I needed to remember it!!!!
Thank you so much!! The James study is also the exact Word I am needing right now!!
Thank you so much!! 🙂
Wow! I share your tears and thanks to God for bringing you through!
And thank him for my deliverance too!
Momma Beth,
I have a lump in my throat at the timeliness of this message. I’ve been struggling recently to give to the Lord the time and attention he so rightfully deserves from me. I’ve been totally distracted with barn building, horses, houses and anxiety over various things. I’m currently going through the James study and it took me two hours to get through Week 2, Day one. I spent half that time on my face before Jesus struggling against my flesh. Then you posted the video chat that spoke to my anxieties–totally slayed me. Wednesday our kids program bible study was on the Israelites in the wilderness making the golden calf and idols we have in our lives. Now this blog speaking about forgetting the Lord and what he has done. Ah-Mazing! Isn’t The Father merciful and kind, loving and full of grace toward us?! I’m totally choked up.
Thank you for your transparency.
Love, Anna
Thank you. Amen.
One more comment, I noticed Spud’s sweet note to the family that you shared here. He wrote it on your birthday Beth…wow, heart wrenching, maybe at the time. So many memories… so sweet. So glad it did not end there and you are in contact with him. That is so good!!! Love never fails.
Beth, thank you.
{hugs}
Perfect. Beautiful. Timely.
Melana
How r u? Good to see your sweet face!!!
Beth,
This post really speaks to me in the time I am going through.
Thank you, there are no words to express the gratitude for your sharing today.
You have been my Christian mentor for quite a few years now, you did not know it, but God and I did!
Your message is so timely for me.
I, like the rest of these sisters, feel so honored that you have shared such intimate, special, and even painful memories with us. I loved seeing all of the photos and hearing the details that you wanted to share with us. I’ve often wondered about Michael and wanted to see a picture of him & to know if you still are able to keep in touch with him, but I knew that was something you would do in your own time. From the bottom of my heart, I thank you for feeling safe enough with us to share such intimate & tender memories. You are so loved, Beth, and as always, I thank God for you and how He speaks to me through you! <3
Missy in SC
Study Guides – seems like the post today is just too much to mention this, however, at the James study I am attending, many of the woman have taken the guide to Staples or Office Max and had binders put on them so they fold in half easy. I can’t wait to take mine in. Just thought I would share that tip!
You broke my heart and lifted me up all with one beautiful blog. Thank you for your continued ministry and for your courage in following His perfect plan for your life.
Dearest Beth,
I never cease to be amazed at your transparency and wisdom God has given you. I am glad to hear someone feels the same as me when they see a beautiful red cardinal. Thank you for the picture of Michael, he’s even more beautiful than I imagined. It’s interesting the timing of your post as it talks about “cleaning out.” As I have been seeing my Christian Counselor I’ve been telling God that there were a few things that were just to painful to share and if it was okay with Him it was just going to stay between Him and I and we could just resolve it that way. Today He showed me as I sat with my incredibly wise counselor that He was not going to go along with MY plan! By the time my appt was done I felt like God had taken me by the ankles, tipped me upside down and gave me a good shaking until everything came out. I am still sitting here incredulous that everything came pouring out. All I can say about the entire process is Owwwww!!!! I guess when God is going to start something new He has to clean out the attic and cobwebs too! Right now sitting in the belly of a whale for few days seems like a lot more fun. Just kidding Lord!
Bless your sweet heart! Hang in there, The Father’s making diamonds from coal and beauty from ashes in you. Once the secrets are shared, the enemy loses ammunition and power to use them against you.
Blessings,
Anna