At times like these, I wish so much I hadn’t already overused words like “amazed” or “awed” to describe what I’m feeling about God. Or “blown away” or “astonished” or “stunned.” For instance, I think I recall using a few of those very words about a red bird I saw in my yard yesterday. Not that God’s handiwork displayed on the delicate wings of a bird of such brilliant color that it has its own name (cardinal red) isn’t amazing. It’s just that I feel something on a slightly larger and more personal scale right now. I wish I’d reserved a few of the synonyms for “awed” for those rarer moments when I feel it to such full measure that my skin almost feels too tight for my soul. When I’m half tempted to do nothing but sit, stare out a window, and shake my head for hours on end. Times I want to say something like, “Who is this God who pursues us so personally?” Or in the psalmist’s words, “What is man that You are mindful of him, and the son of man that You care for him?” I wouldn’t bother sharing this sense I have in my heart with you if I thought moments like these weren’t smattered on the canvases of all followers of Christ. But they are. You’ve had them, too. I’m hoping you’ll remember some of them today. And perhaps you’ve had these moment of inexpressible awe for the very same reason:
The flabbergasting (I’ve overused that word, too) timing of God.
Timing that illustrates to you once again that the God of the universe who called the heavens and earth into existence really does know you are alive and what you are presently experiencing…and even thinking.
You’ve had times like the one I’m currently experiencing. Times when God made sure you were studying a particular thing at the exact time when it spoke most profoundly into that stretch of your journey. For instance, think of a time when you didn’t get to go through a particular Bible study journey during the same set of weeks as your regular discipleship group and maybe you didn’t get around to it for several years…but, when you did, you realized that God had distinctly held it for you until then. I mean, how on earth does He know??
You and I know the answer to that question Biblically. God is omniscient. A meticulous planner is He. But psychologically, don’t we still find it shocking? I mean, how on earth does He have the energy to keep up with millions of His followers and exactly what we need and at exactly which time?
Yes, we know the answer to that question Biblically, too. But, humanly, aren’t we still sometimes taken aback by it?
While Melissa and I were studying James together, she got wrapped up in the Book of Deuteronomy (they have flagrant ties) and talked about it enough that I also got drawn in. Enough, in fact, that by early Fall I knew God was preparing me to teach portions of it in our Tuesday night series that would begin in late January. (She would also co-teach by writing coinciding articles for our Bible study group. It’s the one we are currently serving.)
In preparation for the January series, I decided to start reading the Book of Deuteronomy as part of my quiet time every morning starting in November (of 2011). I did not in any way have preconceived notions about the theme in the life of the Israelites matching up to a major move in my personal life. I chose it strictly because it would prepare me daily toward teaching parts of it several months later. Of course, I anticipated that God would speak to me through it because His Word is alive and active but I had no thought of the concept being perfectly timed for me personally.
As God would have it, the whole book was/is about moving to new ground. (To us this side of Christ’s ascension, this shift to a land of promise would serve powerfully as a metaphor for new ground in our fruit-bearing as obvious disciples of Jesus Christ but, for me, it happened at a time when the applications were multilayered and so much so that, to ignore it would have been a fool’s choice.) And here’s the part that left me slack-jawed. One of the most powerful messages in the Deuteronomy is the warning never to forget where you’ve been with Him, what He has done for you, and that He alone is your God and that to forget Him is total destruction to you. From Chapter 8 alone…
V.2 “And you shall remember the whole way that the Lord your God has led you.”
V.11 “Take care lest you forget the Lord your God.”
V.14 “lest, when you have eaten and are full and built good houses and live in them …then your heart be lifted up, and you forget the Lord your God who brought you out of the land of Egypt, out of the house of slavery…”
V.18 “You shall remember the Lord your God.”
V.19 “And if you forget the Lord your God, I solemnly warn you today that you shall surely perish.”
Let me tell you something, Sweet Thing. There is nothing quite like emptying out a house you’ve been thoroughly entrenched in for nearly thirty years to cause you to remember. Keith sat across from me a few days ago, leaned back in the chair, placed his large palms on his knees – almost as if to brace himself – and said as soberly as anything I’ve ever heard him utter, “I have relived 25 years of our lives as I have cleared out that attic.” It wasn’t the time for me to correct him on exactly how many years it had been. “Well, 27 to be exact” was not about to come out of my mouth. In fact, I hardly said anything at all. I just nodded my head and sat in silence for a few minutes with him. It was a sacred selah because I knew that some of the things he’d remembered had brought joy. And some of the things he’d remembered had brought pain. I knew because the same thing had happened to me. The next day we were in his truck together going to Dairy Queen for a chocolate malt when I brought it back up.
“Keith, don’t you think it is so incredibly odd that God made sure you were out of town while I (and the movers) packed the house up for our move then you did the whole attic by yourself because I was back at work? Do you think it could be any coincidence that God had each of us by ourselves to remember so much of our lives there?”
Same house. Same children. Many of the same exact occurrences. But two completely different people with distinct DNA who processed the same events very differently. Just as Amanda would have. Just as Melissa would have. Just as even Michael would have after his seven short years in our home. You and I share many corporate events with the people in our familial circles: births, deaths, disappointments, celebrations, routines, great surprises, sudden crises. But, if we’ll let Him, God tends to us all uniquely and intimately and means each of us to glean something distinct in the process. Maybe something altogether opposite from the person sitting right beside us at the time.
The kinds of things we unearthed in the move seemed strategically planted by God, set right there for us to find one at a time as if we were following closely to a dog-eared treasure map.
Several of them came to me in a box Keith found in the attic. I’d forgotten it existed.
I took the lid off and saw this:
Very uncharacteristically, Keith had looked through the whole thing before giving it to me. Don’t think that won’t make a woman nervous. In it, he’d found the first card he ever gave me. We laughed until our sides split over how beautifully it depicted us. It was like we’d had a word of knowledge about what was coming. Our whole 33 year old marriage has been the steady recycling of this exact same card given back and forth to one another:
Inside the box was the very first prayer journal I suppose I ever owned. I think that I recall a revival pastor coming to my church at the time and telling us about these little notebooks and I purchased one. I smile as I try to estimate how many I’ve purchased since. I used one this very morning.
It’s so moving to find keepsakes that you actually dated and penned with your own (young!) hand. I would have sensed the call of God on my life and walked the aisle at my church to make it public one summer before.
I read many things in that first journal that made me smile and others that pooled the tears in my eyes. Others out right mystified me. To say that I was in denial over my past childhood abuse is a mind-boggling understatement but that’s another subject for another time. Let me just say for now that I watched my own pen flat-out lie to me over and over again. I even thanked God for the relationship I had with someone who’d abused me. Nuts. That very malfunction would put me in counseling in my early thirties. I woke up alright. That subject aside, I want to show you a specific page out of the journal because it held significant tenderness for me.
See the very top entry? That was intercession for the young people I got to serve at my home church. I was sponsoring that very group at a church camp when I first sensed a vocational call. See that second entry? I did hurt that person. A very wonderful person who deserved far better. I didn’t want to hurt him. But I surely did. I was on a terrible rebound and couldn’t be trusted emotionally. See that third entry? It was about a possible internship at a church in the Houston area. (The town is Humble, Texas. Not the name of the church. I wonder now if I meant First Baptist Humble but I’m not sure. Back then, I might not have known the difference. Grin.) They didn’t hire me and, at the time, I almost talked myself into believing that I’d made up the whole calling. I find it interesting and pathetic how quickly we (I) tend to give up and think God has passed us (me) by. I’d have made a terrible Abraham.
Now, look back up at that last entry from the page in my first journal. I fell head-over-heels in love with a young man in college who I dated for the better part of two years. He never even pretended to feel the same way about me (not his fault, God’s will) and my beaten-up heart finally shattered into a thousand pieces as I accepted it as a lost cause and bowed out. Fast forward 35 years. What makes this discovery in the journal so tender is that I received a call several weeks ago from my college roommate telling me in tears that this young man – who was now in his mid-fifties – had died that very morning of a heart attack. No warning. No prior heart problem. I had not seen him in many years. I grieved immediately and deeply for his lovely wife who he adored and who would miss him terribly. Only God could have had the tenderness to let me see this page only a short time later and have a moment’s personal mourning and remembrance over someone I’d felt much for many years earlier. God did not owe me that. It was tender mercy. Who but Christ does something like that??
There were other treasures found elsewhere. Like this picture of Keith and me boarding a cruise liner the morning after we married. (Our honeymoon was our wedding gift from his parents. We wouldn’t have two extra nickles to rub together for many years.)
That was the man I was meant to marry. And we have continued to ride many waves. It was deeply significant to me that God not only planned for me to find treasures from my spiritual journey. He also had similar intentions for Keith. I had never seen these certificates and Keith had no memory of them being placed in his possession by his parents.
We found a whole bag of cassette-taped messages from Buddy Walters, the mentor that God used to strike a flaming desire in my heart to study Scripture. He was my first Bible doctrine teacher. These messages were preached years later at the church in North Carolina where he served as associate pastor.
Curtis converted them into CD’s for me last week. I’ve been listening to them and hearing the echo of that strong voice of authority and affection for the Lord Jesus Christ that took my breath away in my mid-twenties. Buddy died in his mid-forties and has been with the Lord for many years now but his ministry is poured into every message we have at Living Proof. God’s ways are so strange and beautiful. God knew that I could not fully “remember” my journey with Him without remembering the sound of this mouthpiece. My deepest love affair with Jesus through His Word began under that man’s teaching.
You can quite imagine that we unearthed artifact after artifact from our children’s lives. Stuffed animals. Artwork. Report cards. Clothes. You name it. I hadn’t seen this picture in so long. We were at Keith’s baby sister’s wedding. Oh, mercy, I love these two little girls so much. In this mother’s heart, they are about this same age.
I shared with you in a post soon after we moved (Dec. 2011) that I’d declared to Keith that I’d never leave that house. I also told you that one (irrational, unexplainable) reason was the fear that our time with Michael (who lived with us for seven years) would seem less real, further removed, and the door permanently closed. It was real alright. In this move, we’ve discovered him all over our house. Stacks and stacks of pictures, albums, artwork, report cards, etc, etc, etc. I found this letter that we received some months after he left.
Spud was our nickname for him. I also found this particular school picture. It was the year he departed our home. Wasn’t he beautiful?
As it turned out, the move did not distance us further nor close the door permanently. I have seen him as recently as two weeks ago and get to stay in regular communication with him. God is so gracious. Michael looks fairly different now but he is still so darling. He is a tattoo artist and has practiced a good deal on himself. I am smiling. I love him. And I am so, so proud of him.
The 8th chapter of the Book of Deuteronomy says to remember “the whole way” (V.2) the Lord has led you. The “terrible” (NASB) and “terrifying” (ESV) wilderness (V.15) and the miracles of manna and water from the flinty rock. (Vv.15-16) Translation? Remember the awful times. Remember the awesome times. I not only dug up sweet memories. I’ve stumbled upon some terrifying ones. Some that I wish to heaven I could have forgotten. Some that make my skin crawl. I found journal entries from a time of such utter darkness in my life that only God could have brought me through in one piece. Reading my pleas from that time stirred up such strong emotions that I could have thrown up. I kept having to remind myself to keep my memories in the light of God and not let them descend into the darkness of the enemy. When I remember them before God who delivered me, I am helped. When I remember them before the enemy who full-well meant to destroy me, I am haunted. Oh, the grace and mercy God has had upon my life. He is the only good in me. I’m sure Keith found reminders of some dark days of his own. And those are between God and him. I’ll leave you with one last picture. Keith sent me this one from his phone two days ago to let me know that the house was completely empty. Don’t think it wasn’t significant to me.
Oh, yes, Lord. I definitely remember the heaps of trash. Thank You for assuring us that, through Your mercy, all of it – EVERY SINGLE BIT OF IT – has been thrown into the depths of the sea, swallowed up in a fountain of blood.YOU ALONE are our God. YOU ALONE delivered Keith and I from such miry clay. YOU ALONE have kept my family in tact. YOU ALONE have spared us so much shame and lifelong defeat. You alone persistently dogged us with Your Holy Spirit and Your Word until we could no longer cover our ears. You alone saw people worth fixing in our brokenness. And You still do. I never want to forget, Lord. Never.
“Take care lest you forget the Lord your God…who brought you out of the house of slavery.”
Deuteronomy 8:16 says something so riveting that I can hardly read it without having a visceral reaction. It says that God TESTS us and HUMBLES us “to do you good in the end.”
In the end. Seems like we’ve heard that somewhere before. Somewhere this side of the Cross.
“And we know that for those who love God all things work together for good, for those who are called according to His purpose.” Romans 8:28 ESV
I have found so much encouragement through this post, Siesta Mama. The strangest trials/ temptations have come these last 6ish months. I have gone some sweet places with Jesus, but mercy. I only know His Spirit is keeping me from falling into HUGE pits, and yet I struggle to keep from going into the semi-small ones.
I love that you are willing to share with us. I love Siestaville. And I sure do love you! Just finished “A Woman’s Heart.” What a walk I had with Him and I know I was meant to do it in this season.
Well, I’m in the midst of packing up our rental right now. We move in to our renovated house in 9 days and I’m about to be done in. {grin} Your prayers would be so welcome on me and my little family. I want us all to make it through this in one piece. 😉
hugs,
Siesta Rachel
Love you sweet Rach and praying you through this move … then I’ll be right behind ya!!!
Beth, thank you for sharing you life with us so openly and honestly…all the Scripture references from Deuteronomy were perfect…praying for you from this translation of Habakkuk 2:3 from the Living Bible…”These things I plan won’t happen right away. Slowly, steadily, surely, the time approaches when the vision will be fulfilled. If it seems slow, do not despair, for these things will surely come to pass. Just be patient! They will not be overdue a single day!”
I think I read that entire thing with out breathing…That was raw and beautiful. It took me to a far away place in my own memory lane.
Please don’t get tired of hearing me say “Thank You”. I am forever thankful for your willingness to share. Love, love, love you…
~Allison
aka @The4leegirls
I love you sweet Beth, I really do.
Beth,
This was such an awesome post. God definitely is a wonder! He is currently allowing me to look back and see that in the words of Matt Redmond, “He never let go through every high and every low!” I love Him so!
Oh sweet Siesta Mama. My heart is tender for you and what you’ve been through these past several months — not sorry, but tender. God is so good and works in his own timeframe, doesn’t he? You have taught me so much in the short time I have “known” you. I pray everyday for Jesus to show me what he has in store for me! I thank you for pushing me in Bible Study and helping me to open my heart a little more each day. Blessings to you sweet thing!
I have sat wiping tears through this entire blog. Because I didn’t want to remember where I came from. It hurt too much for too long.
But I realized that if I don’t, then I have stolen the Glory from God. He isn’t being credited for dragging, carrying, picking me up through so many bad years. He set me apart from that life of such garbage for a reason. I’m still not entirely sure what the reason is…but I’m trusting Jer 29:11.
I’m sure this was hard to write. Thank you for sharing because it has redirected my thinking. ‘Remember all that He has brought you through.’
ps. Starting James study in 2 weeks with a group of women at my house. It can’t get here soon enough!!
Tears. And so much love. Romans 8:28 was the first verse I ever put to memory. Amen! His Word is Truth.
Momma Moore this was such a sweet entry to me…I in the very deepest part of my young woman soul relate to this. Such a God-thing is that this is the EXACT message the Lord has been speaking to me, talk about His sweet and merciful timing…especially with the journal entry about your young man. Your story encourages me momma Moore…to never forget where I’ve been with Jesus, to “consider it joy” it my present season (:) just finished session 2!! of James!) and to know that in the end it all works together for the good of His glory and our own unique story. You rock!
Oh my. Thank you for sharing those heartfelt and poignant thoughts. God is faithful indeed, in timing His truths just right in our lives. He impresses upon our hearts at the times we need it most–and what we need most–like only He can.
The photo of Michael and his note penned in the hand of childhood brought tears to my eyes. The kind of tears that well up behind your eyeballs and ache as the pressure from the tears threatens to burst forth & make you look like an emotional mess. Yeah, those kind of tears! Thanks for sharing. I’ve often wondered about him. How loved he must be.
Wow, what a powerful post!! Thanks for sharing your heart, Beth. It’s definitely moved mine!! I’ve been going through some of the same emotions in completely different ways… I’m going to go back through Deuteronomy and meditate on those verses you posted! I’m SO thankful that we serve a loving God who meets each of us right where we are! Thanks again, Beth!~
No words after this post Beth. Took my breath away. One thing came to mind. Psalm 27:4 God is everything.
Oh Beth – I loved reading this post and looking at those fun pictures. The “I’m Sorry” card was tres fun! I wish to heck they’d make some more like that: with the whole late 1970’s vibe going on, including the sunset and flared hair and flared pants (saying sorry with flare is apparently more fun than not). And the picture of Michael – I don’t think I’ve ever seen him. How darling. And how mom-like of you to share that he practices his artwork on his very own canvas 🙂 I love that you still get to see him and pour into him – in a different way, obviously. But you’re right – God pours into each of us in our own, unique, different ways. He IS good. Thanks for the reminder to remember ~
Beth,
Powerful and touching at the same time. What a beautiful son you have. I don’t think I will ever forget doing To Live is Christ and all of us bawling our eyes out as you shared about the heartache of losing Michael. I have not forgotten your son and have prayed for him since that time. I am so thankful that he is back in your lives, even if not in the way you had dreamed.
Wish I could be in Houston for your Tuesday night Bible study. For now, I am doing Believing God for the first time. I don’t know I missed it, but as you said in your post, it was God’s timing!!!!
Blessings on you, dear one. I am thankful for you.
Yvonne
Wooooo, Beth,… that was an emotional post! If all others are like me, it was an emotional post for everybody!!! I think we all walked our old road, traveled our old past, picked through our old pictures, we revisited our own old haunts and Hallelujahs, our sorrows and our joys, our griefs and mourning that He turned into dancing. I think while walking a moment on your old road with you, that we walked with you on the old trails of our own. I think you worded it so well that it reverberated to make our hearts feel and that we all remembered… remembered… and remembered. I told God just the other day that I never want to forget. I’m so overjoyed to be pulled from so many places, but I never want to get so far past it that I can’t still feel it. It’s part of who I am… and maybe some of it, because of who He’d make me to be. I LOVE, LOVE, LOVE that He’s a God that works everything out for good! I love that He’s not only able, but that He’s waiting and willing and wants to. Wow Beth, you know, I wonder when God looks back with you at those pictures… I wonder when He looks what He sees?! The mind cannot imagine nor fathom! I’m blown-away at the try-to though!! Thanks so much for sharing! My heart was tendered too over the re-traveling of my own road. When glancing back at that past…. who can doubt our God for our futures??? From one sister to another, I felt we held hands with our Father between us for a while.. and that HE retold our stories back to us so that He could show us the way that He saw and still sees them! Woe, to see a glimpse of our journeys through our Savior’s eyes!
thank you for sharing. you are like an older, wiser sister. love reading your wisdom and experiences
“I kept having to remind myself to keep my memories in the light of God and not let them descend into the darkness of the enemy. When I remember them before God who delivered me, I am helped. When I remember them before the enemy who full-well meant to destroy me, I am haunted.”
I needed this wisdom, thank you!
Thanks for the reminder to remember. I’ve been feeling spiritually dry, and not finding His presence like I do sometimes. Even picking up the scripture has been less than inspiring. It’s been a dry winter. Not sure why it feels this way sometimes, but quite possibly I need to go back and remember His faithfulness, and be reminded He’s the source of the living water. Not all the other places I look for it.
This post so ministered to me tonight. One week ago tonight, we received word that our dear, faithful, Sunday school teacher had passed away. Our hearts are broken, but our very close class has spent the week remembering his passion for his family, our class and, PEOPLE! But most importantly, Jesus. We have had questions. Why would God take a 44 year old father and husband. BUT, as we sat in the funeral service and listened to his father and his older brother preach his funeral….it was clear. GOD is using this tragedy to point others to Him. His precious
wife made the statement to our class in a letter we read last Sunday, “If one person comes to know Christ through this, then okay.”
Whew…didn’t mean to write a novel!!!
Remembering how faithful God was always helps me to remember how faithful he is today.
Blessings and hugs!
Stephanie
I am so moved by this. So moved. The tears are streaming. Yes, I too have those moments of “oh God, how did you KNOW?!” The more I take time to look, the more they are there. And they are beautiful. *You are right, the adjectives don’t do it justice.*
But I want to remember….always.
Thank you for this intimate look into the glory of God in your life. I needed it today as I fight for my growth in Christ, my family and my marriage.
Come, Lord Jesus, and use it for good.
Beth, I
I have no words to express how moved I am after reading your post! You are precious! Thank you for your obedience to write what God inspires you to say.
To God be the Glory!!
Love you, sister!
Thank you for sharing more of your “story”. Praise be to God that our “stories” through the filter of grace is good and freeing.
Dear Beth,
I love so much that you share your life with us. Feels like I’m actually having a conversation with you. As I read I found myself laughing and crying, love that by the way. I love Jesus so much because of the perfect way He loves us. Thank you my sweet friend! I love you, Lynda
Oh, Beth! Thank you so much for this post! We are moving from our house of 10 years, and as it is the longest I have ever lived in one place, I am digging in my heels and losing momentum to face all the boxes of memories. God “interrupted” my quiet time with Him the other day, and marched me out to the garage (He used a gently falling rain to stir me to drop my devotional and toss some things in there that were in danger of getting wet), where I got “distracted” and opened up the “Shelly’s memories” box and found a journal entry that recounted His faithfulness fifteen years before OVER the EXACT issue I had just been praying about! I needed that reminder to face the day. And I needed it to help me face, open up, and start condensing the boxes, knowing I would find His faithfulness and surely even healing over some of the things those boxes hold. So thank you, Beth, for once again baring your soul so vulnerably. It confirms that He has me by the hand and won’t make me do this alone. Your willingness to take the risk with us is what makes His footprints in your own life resonate with me so personally. He does speak to all of us in the most personal and tender ways. Sometimes it takes seeing it in others’ lives to recognize Him in our own if that makes any sense. I am thankful for you and for all the Siestas who open their hearts and lives.
And your sweet Spud is so beautiful! That is the first time I have ever laid eyes on him after the years and the prayers and I couldn’t help but mist up. Give him an extra hug from us Siestas next time you see him.
Shelly – I loved your post, especially this: “God has me by the hand and I won’t go through this alone.” Amen. He is so faithful.
Yes – it was delightful to see that picture of Spud. What a handsome boy. And he wrote that note on Beth’s birthday too. I’m especially thankful for her transparency with us siestas. God uses it every time.
Blessings,
Jan
i love this so much. I haven’t read enough of Deuteronomy to know about the “remember” theme. but oh how I have lived the importance of remembering. I’m a journaler and I can’t even count how many times I’ve read through past entries and my faith has been renewed and increased, just remembering what God has done, where He’s delivered me from, how He has answered prayers even if I couldn’t see it at the time. My journals are precious to me, mostly for the purpose of remembering. I even wrote about that here: http://www.mommiediaries.com/2011/08/remember.html
I also had to touch on the example you shared, how maybe you miss a certain bible study during one point in your life, for whatever reason… only to do the study years later, *precisely* when you needed it? That was my experience with “Breaking Free”. I needed it the first time around, sure. but somehow I got busy, had a baby, and just couldn’t finish out the study with my group. The parts I did finish, and the passages in Isaiah that I’d memorized then, were literally my lifeline when my life threatened to fall apart a few years later. God knew what I would need so He gave me just that, during the first attempt at competing the study… and wouldn’t you know it- the very next week after my world crumbled, our women’s Bible study group was starting Breaking Free. I was desperate for it this time. I would not have survived without it, and the miraculous healing work that God accomplished through it. I found myself asking Him, ” how did you know?” even though, of course He knew. His timing really is astonishing (and every other adjective we overuse)
and I had to add: You’ve got to look up Tommy Walker’s “We will remember” if you aren’t familiar with it! By far one of my favorite songs, all about remembering…
I love, love LOVE this song by Tommy Walker. He is very good friends with my pastor and regularly visits our church with his band.
Aly! Yes – that song has ministered to my SOUL every single time.
We will remember, we will remember
We will remember the works of Your hands
We will stop and give You praise
For great is Thy faithfulness
You’re our creator, our life sustainer
Deliverer, our comfort, our joy
Throughout the ages You’ve been our shelter
Our peace in the midst of the storm
With signs and wonders You’ve shown Your power
With precious blood You showed us Your grace
You’ve been our helper, our liberator
The giver of life with no end
When we walk through life’s darkest valleys
We will look back at all You have done
And we will shout, our God is good
And He is the faithful One
Hallelujah, hallelujah
To the One from whom all blessings flow
Hallelujah, hallelujah
To the One whose glory has been shown
I still remember the day You saved me
The day I heard You call out my name
You said You loved me and would never leave me
And I’ve never been the same
Thank you for Remembering that song!!!
Remember. I think of listening to remember. I enjoyed so much reading this post and remember a glimpse of this place, it struck me as humble and sensitive. All those precious photos and notes… priceless.
And Deuteronomy capturing my attention and remember the rescuing He has done for me, even unaware. The drinking being one. Once I was in a church and a man came up to me to give me a word it reminded me of something you said in your first lesson out of Psalm 139. The man said to me, “His thoughts toward you are numerous” I was taken a back. I remember when i was young and i wrote down some question to ask myself. I wish I had that paper that i wrote it on. I like to keep those things. But, I wrote this:
Who is God
What is He like
What does He desire
I proceeded to answer them in a non-personal way. Then, the thought hit me and I added one thing….at the end….”to you”
Who is God “to you”
What is He like “to you”
What does He desire “of you”.
that made it personal and more profound. The last question I responded with vigor and underlined my response several times… “Fellowship everyday, everyday, everyday! Amazing. There is a site that has a teaching called, Putting amazing back in Grace.
I love you Beth! You always have a special place in my heart. Allison
There are so many things bouncing around my mind that I just can seem to articulate any of them. So thank you and I love you. That was beautiful.
THIS beautiful post came at JUST the right time.
thank you, siesta mama. praising God RIGHT NOW for His perfect timing in your life & as well as my own.
Siesta Mama,
When I didn’t think there were any more tears to cry today…God’s timing is…what is more perfect than perfect??
Not 24 hrs ago I was leading my ladies through Mercy Triumphs. I was encouraging them through James 1:2 to “Consider it pure joy..” when the fiery darts come and the Mack truck mows you down.
Less than 12 hours ago, the Mack truck hit me head on and kept on moving. A diagnosis of diabetes. The disease that is right this minute killing my father. I could not see through the tears for some time.
But how Precious is our God?? As I have looked back to how I got to this point and where all He has brought me from…from the pit to the point of surrender. I have the opportunity to practice what I teach.
I will “consider it pure joy” to know that my Father is testing my faith to produce “heroic endurance”.
Bless you dear sweet Beth!
Casey
Oh, Casey. I am praying for you right now. May Jesus show you how much bigger He is than that diagnosis.
i have a closet. photos, the boys’ school mementos….will i be ready for it after 27 years?
But God…
Oh Siesta Mama, thank you for allowing us into the most intimate places of your life, the good and bad! Your words were so tender towards God and all that He has delivered you from and through. I needed that reminder today. My marriage is going through a rough patch and feel so very alone. I needed to hear that the Lord has not forgotten me and He hears my cries. Thank you Jesus for using Beth at the exact moment to minister to me. I love you so much!!!
Oh Beth – I just have butterflies in my stomach reading this – it stirred me up on so many levels. Remembering – and the precious applications you made. HE LOVES YOU SO MUCH – His mercies are so tender – thank you for this, thank you! You are ONE AMAZING WRITER. So many things about this post just drew me in to “remember.”
I love that we had the same baby formula – I saw it on your little birth card on the top of your memory box – Pet Milk/Water/Karo Syrup. I’ve heard my mom talk about that “formula” many times. It was good enough for us, wasn’t it? And the date you signed in your prayer journal front page – 6/12/77 was the Sunday after my wedding day – 6/11/77. And then you had a picture of your “day after wedding day.” You and Keith look like Barbie and Ken :)_
Gary and I moved to the country 4 years ago on 6/11/2007 to live with my parents while building our new home next door to them, so I moved in with mom and dad exactly 30 years to the day I left home. Talk about memory lane. WOW! Your post was cathartic. You’ve always had such an influence on me for good – because You point me to JESUS. This post is a keeper – so are you!
Thank you friend,
G.J.
You are dear to me, Jan.
I thought they looked like Ken and Barbie in that photo too. 🙂
Jan,
Thank you for sharing your heart…so tender. Blessed…
NM Siesta
Deuteronomy 8. I was a sophomore in college. I was sitting alone on the back porch of my parents’ house. And I will NEVER forget that afternoon. I’m serious, Deuteronomy 8 is my chapter! I’ve even attempted (and failed) to learn calligraphy just so I could write it out and have it framed somewhere in my house. Full of promise, sincere in warning, and exactly what I needed to hear at that time and (so often) what God brings me back to today in order to assure my heart and refocus my priorities.
Thank you, as always, for sharing such intimate memories with so many of us who love you so much more than you could ever know. You are so lucky to have known Buddy Walters personally. I think I speak for so many siestas when I say – you are the Buddy Walters of OUR lives and, in all likelihood, you won’t know the extent of how God has mercifully used you in our lives until we all get to glorify God together in heaven.
Praying for you and your family often.
oh, and i LOVE the cute pic of your girls. I think I am about the same age as Amanda 🙂
so much love to you, amy
I was thinking how Beth is “our” Buddy Walters too.
My words will be few after reading this post. Those aren’t even my memories, photos or momentos and I’m so nostalgic and emotional. I could bawl my eyes out over all that you shared. Your honesty is refreshing! Thank you for sharing the picture and update of Michael. I wonder if he knows how much his story has impacted many women who’ve done your studies over the last ten-plus years. So powerful! Thank you for sharing your love for Jesus and His Word…and for sharing your heart. You are loved and appreciated.
Oh my goodness – what an emotional post. I went from laughing at the cruise picture, to crying at Michael’s note and picture. What a sweet walk down memory lane. I have been doing your Bible studies since my 13.5 year old was a baby – started with a Woman’s Heart, God’s Dwelling Place (that completely changed my life at a time when I was questioning my faith and that study solidified it and I haven’t looked back since!). I feel like a “distant” friend who has walked with you through many years of your life. Thank you so much for being transparent and real – for encouraging us all to live as Christ. You are an inspiration! Thank God He called you to do what you do. Much love to you!
wow. this was powerful. so beautiful. and so perfectly timed. i have been fearful and terrified that i can’t survive all that is going on, but i have forgotten that God has brought me through thins before and he has loved me through all my junk before, so why is this time different? i need to ponder over this for a while.
Beth – you are MOORE dearer. I just had to go back and read this “remembrance” all over again – and probably will again because I’ll see something new. THIS stirred me so much – how many times have I had this exact thought:
From your post:
I mean, how on earth does He have the energy to keep up with millions of His followers and exactly what we need and at exactly which time? Yes, we know the answer to that question Biblically, too. But, humanly, aren’t we still sometimes taken aback by it?
YES~YES~YES!
P.S.: I have a card just like that “I’m sorry” one in my memory box in the bottom of my closet. Everything just screams 1970s…I love it.
And that picture of the empty house just about did me in.
Lastly, I’m so proud of you for not correcting Keith that it was 27 years, not 25. Timing is everything, isn’t it? 🙂
Laughing. Yes. That may have been the hidden miracle in the whole story. That I kept my mouth shut. I love you.
I love you MOORE – a MorTON more. 🙂
You are BOTH precious! I love the camaraderie between the two of you! Love you BOTH a MORTON!
(I was gonna try to work my maiden name in, but MORgan … yeah … I got nuttin!)
Becky Jo – I love you a MorTON more too. We are blessed to have Bethie, aren’t we? God gave her to us for this time on His calendar. She’s a mess (Southernism) and I love her to pieces. I’m blessed by her obedience. And I’m partial. 🙂
GJ
Thank you Allison! (below) You’re cute too.
ya’ll are cute to read.
Dear Beth,
I don’t think I have ever loved you more than after reading this post. I am honored that you love us and TRUST us enough to share such precious, personal words and photos. Please know how precious you and your family, including Gaye, are to Siestaville. Thank you for being so obedient to God’s call on your life….He is using you EVERY day to make God’s WORD come alive to thousands.
Love, Linda
Father God, Thank you for the calling to teach that you have placed on Beth Moore’s life. Thank you for her obedience to you. Thank you for her transparency. You have used her to speak to me in many ways for the past 15 years. Thank you for speaking the words that I need to hear at just the right moment. In Jesus Name.
Your words here are so special to me Beth, because I love that you have so many tangible things held dear from the past. I’ve got boxes and boxes of things in the back of my closet and up in the attic (and I believe even under my bed) from my childhood and my children’s childhood. As you’re describing these precious memories, and sharing some pictures, I feel validated for holding on to these things. I can imagine how it will be when the day comes that I’m sifting through these things.
I can’t help but relate to what your girls must experience seeing these special pictures and mementos… when the home I lived in for 25 years (even through college!) was sold, I helped my mama sort and sift through so much. I loved doing that with her, as I’m sure your girls have with you.
You all are a blessing. Thank you for sharing bits and pieces of your life with us. Even in your memories, He uses you to minister.
Much love to you,
Lavonda
Thank you, Father for placing me on this planet at such a time that I am able to “know” Beth Moore. Thank you for giving her to us as a teacher, leader and friend. Thank you, Beth for your faithfulness to God and to us. You’re honesty and realness is a beautiful thing.
It’s not very creative of me to say but “ditto” to your comment, Angie. Beth, you are truly a blessing. I feel like you “know” us and your words speak straight into my heart. Thank you for using those hard and personal things in your life to minister to us!!
Yes, GOD ALONE. Amen.
I am so grateful to you for faithfully following after God’s heart with great passion and committment. I am blessed to have been raised with great teaching, but this last year has thrown me for a loop. I have been pulled through the knot hole backwards on more than one occasion, and have been so grateful for good teaching, and encouragement from you. I have attended your classes in person, but find that these blogs just touch me in a way I can’t quite put into words…thank you. Grace and Mercy be yours.
Oh I just loved this post…too precious…oh Michael was beautiful!!! every last memory stirred me up…Keith’s holy cards..LOL.. I still have mine too!! I don’t want to ever forget how Good is our God!! Please Jesus as we get older please let us never forget what you have done for us!! Love you sweet Siesta Mama!!
You are precious, Beth. I love seeing sweet Michael after all the times you’ve mentioned him. I am amazed at how much he favors Keith. Beautiful memories … the good and the bad … they both teach us and keep us clinging to God. We all have them, and we probably wouldn’t be so desperate for God without those shuddering memories. I love you dearly.
He is Keith’s first cousin’s child so you are not imagining the resemblance. The Moore men all look alike. Grin.
And I’m definitely seeing the Farrah Fawcett hair on you (in the Mardi Gra picture)! I just remember the term “wings”! You had it going on, Beth! Grin!
all i can say is wow! and thank you for sharing. it gives me hope. cindy
beth, sometimes i’ll read a post & think i might comment & then talk myself out of it b/c i don’t have anything new to add that others haven’t already said more beautifully than i would have. that’s true now. but today i’m posting anyway b/c i want to be one more sister out here saying YES, girl – BUT FOR HIM…
so yes – i read. yes, i’m in tears – remembering. but i’m also bursting at the seams in wonder over HIM who does the impossible right in the middle of our lives over & over & over. He just wipes me out that way. and i love Him for it.
i love you too.
I’m so blessed to hear from you, Tracey. Each voice is its own treasure. May Jesus be stunning to you today.
Such a powerful post. Such an awesome God!! Couldn’t help but think of this line from Tommy Walker’s song, We Will Remember: “And we will SHOUT our God is good, and HE is the Faithful One!”
Beth, I so enjoyed reading this and seeing some of your treasures. I especially loved seeing the picture of Michael. He was so very cute. It brought tears to my eyes because I have heard you mention him so many times. I was so happy to hear he is still in your life. I had a similar situation many years ago and often wonder how my little guy (big now I’m sure) is. Thank you for always letting us peek into your life. You are such a wonderful example for me.
Lawan
Phil 4:8