So Long Insecurity Week Seven!

OK. You guys were hilarious yesterday. Honestly, I had to write a number of your quirks down so I’d remember on particularly bizarre occasions that I’m not alone in my psychoses. I have a number of other quirks that I either forgot to share or felt best to keep in the family vault. In the words of the Psalmist David (my particular obsession right now), I could have gotten much more undignified than that.

I am still amused and mystified by one of the earliest ones from a Siesta that shared, “I don’t have a middle name – just an initial ‘M’.” With my wild imagination and hopeless romanticism, as a child I probably would have made up a story about my mother having named me after her own mother who was a famous movie star with a name starting with the letter “M,” who’d had to keep the pregnancy a secret and release her for adoption or else she would have broken her MGM contract but called for her on her very death bed, confessed the truth, professed her love, and gave her jewels…OR she might have named me after a secret agent (no, a double agent is better!) with a name beginning with “M” who she discovered after efforts of trained operatives failed when she accidentally intercepted a Sears catalog with a clandestine envelope tucked carefully into the bathrobe section when she knew she must book an immediate flight to Paris to perform a citizen’s arrest with a sharpened letter-opener only to throw her hand over her mouth in astonishment for there before her stood her mirror image, the twin sister she never knew she had but, alas, she was sworn to secrecy…

Uh hum. Sorry. I forgot you were there.

What are we doing here? Oh, yes! Week Seven of So Long Insecurity! Your discussions were so great last week! I’m hoping these next two chapters will also offer us a few good items to talk about. Your assignment this week is to read CHAPTERS 12 and 13 and answer the following questions. (You will NOT want to miss Chapter 12. It’s what the guys on the survey had to say about women’s insecurities. Don’t wait too long in the week to read Chapter 13 either. It’s a little lengthier.)

1. Based on Chapter 12, name one “I already knew that” moment and one “that’s new to me” moment, if either applies.

2. Based on Chapter 13, how does a weak will play into our insecurity?

I am looking so forward to your answers! Let’s recommit to our journey together even if you’ve already read the whole book. Jump in here and discuss it with us and let’s see several hundred more comments this time. In the spirit of 2 Corinthians 8:11, “Now finish the work, so that your eager willingness to do it may be matched by your completion of it.” Translation? Let’s finish strong!

You are a delight to serve. I may mess around with you but make no mistake. I take this role very seriously. May Christ Jesus, our One and Only Deliverer, reveal Himself afresh to you this week with resurrection power and relentless affection. He is so worthy. And, He, Beloved, is our security.

Share

307 Responses to “So Long Insecurity Week Seven!”

If you'd like your own pic by your comment, go to Gravatar.com. Click the first button "Get your gravatar today ->", and it will walk you through a simple process to select a picture.

Comments:

  1. 51
    Lori says:

    I am so far behind but I promise to catch up and post for every week I promise
    Lori
    PI Maine

  2. 52
    partialemptynester says:

    Ann From Rockwall, YOU and your STRENGTH and DIGNITY ROCK!!!!!

    Beth, YOU MAKE ME LAUGH, Girlfriend!

    Love, love, loved the Top 10 yesterday, still going through those…I feel SO close to all my siestas now, we ALL have SO much in common, and then again, not so much, lol! Seriously, the top 10 from yesterday and your story today you have made me belly laugh from way down deep…I'm with Missknitsalot and everyone else, we want a novel, you crazy girl, you!

    1. K…so the cleavage thing: totally knew! the incessant talker, knew, but seriously need the reminder EACH and EVERY day!! To the point that last Friday I was second in line to meet you at the B&N on Northwest Hwy and I CLAMMED UP and BARELY said a WORD to you, bc I was so paranoid I would look insecure if I said too much…LOL, seriously! And I'd just spent an hour or two with sweet new friends having a ball taking turns talking!!!!

    2. Ann of Rockwall totally summed up the answer by her example, LOVE her!!!

  3. 53
    Joyce says:

    You should write a book Beth !!!!

  4. 54
    GlowinGirl says:

    32, married
    Indiana

    Cleavage — yep, knew that one. I used to show my goods, and while I did it in the name of being attractive and sexy, it's really b/c I liked the attention I was afraid I wouldn't get otherwise. That's insecurity.

    What I didn't know? Just how much they really do like us for who we are. It's difficult to believe sometimes — especially in the aging/looks department. But okay, if they say so . . . 🙂

    Ch 13 — My own power isn't enough. Not surprising! We can positively think until we're blue in the face, but if we're not replacing lies with God's truth, and relying on His spirit, it's just a house of cards.

    BTW, I'm in the last chapter of your Esther study, Beth. And I read today Psalm 16:5 LORD, you have assigned me my portion and my cup. You have made my lot SECURE!! Woo hoooooo!

    Lovin' how this is working together!

  5. 55
    Anonymous says:

    my "Aha!" moment was discovering how much we women size one another up. I never really realized I did that, but now that it has been pointed out, I catch myself doing it. And my husband even caught me at it the other day! We were in a restaurant and he said he could tell when a girl walked in because my eyes would follow her, but they wouldn't follow a guy. I guess I'm more concerned with comparing myself and finding faults in other girls than in reminding myself to have a strong will in the promises of God!!

  6. 56
    Ana Carolina says:

    Today I listened to Anne Graham-Lotz describe Heaven as high walls…a place where you can feel secure…And hell…as a bottomless pit…full of INSECURITY. Wow!

    You can hear her message on focus on the family.

  7. 57
    Anonymous says:

    1. I hope I'm not being overly negative about this, but the insight into how men realize women's insecurities didn't do much to give me a better impression of men, or of human nature in general for that matter. All it tells me is that men know exactly the level of hurt they are causing when they intentionally put a women down either verbally or through rejection. And, yes, women can be vicious and NOT ALL men are alike, but I think perhaps it might be time to realize that there are some mean boys who are just as knowing and deliberate as the mean girls.

    I congratulate Ann from TX for handling a tough situation with dignity. My sister has an ex-husband just like that, and all I can say is that I want to be like my big sister when I grow up. She's handled the whole thing with such class. But that raises the question – Now that we know that men are not so clueless after all, how does that change the way we deal with them?

    2. I think will is important because we have to choose how to see ourselves. We have to choose whether we will trust our feelings about ourselves, or trust what God's Word tells us. In my case, that's two different things.

    Single,
    34,
    Somewhere South

  8. 58
    partialemptynester says:

    Robin
    40's/married
    Irving, TX

    Ann From Rockwall, YOU and your STRENGTH and DIGNITY ROCK!!!!!

    Beth, YOU MAKE ME LAUGH, Girlfriend!

    Love, love, loved the Top 10 yesterday, still going through those…I feel SO close to all my siestas now, we ALL have SO much in common, and then again, not so much, lol! Seriously, the top 10 from yesterday and your story today you have made me belly laugh from way down deep…I'm with Missknitsalot and everyone else, we want a novel, you crazy girl, you!

    1. K…so the cleavage thing: totally knew! the incessant talker, knew, but seriously need the reminder EACH and EVERY day!! To the point that last Friday I was second in line to meet you at the B&N on Northwest Hwy and I CLAMMED UP and BARELY said a WORD to you, bc I was so paranoid I would look insecure if I said too much…LOL, seriously! And I'd just spent an hour or two with sweet new friends having a ball taking turns talking!!!!

    2. Ann of Rockwall totally summed up the answer by her example, LOVE her!!!

  9. 59
    Judy from NC says:

    I already knew that our appearance issues are our number one insecurity.
    It's news to me that incessant talking is an indication of insecurity!
    Also news to me that the more skin we show the more insecure we are.
    We must be strong willed about what God strongly wills and make a deliberate choice to will it before we feel it.
    These are the homework answers, but since I am an incessant talker (grin) I must say how funny your wandering wonderings were about the "M". I agree you should write a totally fiction book just for laughs. And I knew a man who had just initials for both his first and middle names. In the army they insisted no initials. He wrote "R"(only) and "B"(only) on his form. Sure enough he was forever more listed as Ronly Bonly Barnes!!!! Now that's funny, huh?

  10. 60
    Anonymous says:

    The more skin the more the insecurity was a surprise.I always figured you needed to be secure to show alot of skin.I don't do it.
    Knew men liked secure women.
    I don't like conflict. I will stand up to someone if necessary but I don't like it.
    Donna
    WNC

  11. 61
    donnetta says:

    Im newly "widowed", and as far as Chapter 13 goes, and how a "weak will" plays into my insecurities…well, lets just say, If I don't wakeup each and every morning, "intentionally" putting the Lord FIRST in my life, and "choosing" to let the Lord have "His way" throughout my day,
    the insecurities that I am dealing with right now, would completely consume me. And there are many! I can "choose" to start my day "secure" in my Fathers hands, or wakeup depressed and vulnerable. Satan would like nothing better than to destroy me and my children with this trama. I MUST BE ACTIVE and on guard daily, with this gift of the "power of the will", that we've all been given from the Lord, to exercise as we please. It ALWAYS boils down to HOW I CHOOSE TO EXERCISE THIS FREE WILL (either choosing my own will or Gods will) and then, HOW I WILL REACT to the difficulties in this life, because of that choice. And the trials will come! I choose to be happy and at peace.
    Phil. 4:13 "I can do ALL things through Christ who strengthens me"!
    Thanks for listening to me ramble…

  12. 62
    Lisa B says:

    1. Already knew showing off your
    body was sign of insecurity. Been there, done that. Now I cover myself up, and don't want men to look at me AT ALL!!!!
    Didn't know that babbling was sign
    of insecurity, just thought maybe
    somebody is hyper. I shut up b/c
    of insecurity!

    2. Weak wills leave the door open for the enemy to cause us to walk in lies & not truths! Wills strengthened by the Holy Spirit can walk securely & with confidence!

  13. 63
    Sandy says:

    Yes, Ann of Texas. WAY TO GO!

  14. 64
    Sarah says:

    Firstly, Mama Siesta, you make me laugh! I love you and THANK YOU for that! 🙂

    Sarah
    30's, single
    Dallas, TX

    1) I guess I already knew that women being insecure about their appearance would be the number one thing guys would say, since it's pretty much the number one insecurity! HOWEVER, (maybe it's because I'm single and haven't dated much and generally am just not around men much) – I had no idea that men think women showing too much skin is a sign of insecurity. I actually find this encouraging. I am a very modest dresser and some well-meaning friends have tried to change that. I know there's a balance to everything, but I'm glad to know that at least SOME men don't require lots of skin showing to notice/be attracted to a woman. 🙂

    2) Most people that know me would say that I am a strong-willed person. But after reading this chapter (13), I realize that I am very weak-willed when it comes to myself and thoughts and actions concerning me. ESPECIALLY when it comes to the whole downward spiral–what a relief and encouragement when you explained how we can spiral up! I need to exercise my choosing muscles – meaning, choosing to not allow my sadness or depression or fear to lead to a loss of security. I never thought of it that way before…as you said, I'm one of those that has ALWAYS linked the bad feelings with insecurity and now I know I don't have to!

    Bless you, Mama Siesta, for following the Lord's leading and writing this book. Goodness knows it wasn't easy but wow was it needed (and appreciated!) Even by those of us (like me) that thought we weren't insecure!!! 🙂

  15. 65
    Bobbie says:

    Way to go, Ann from Rockwall! God's strength is in you for sure!!

    Many blessings,
    Bobbie

  16. 66
    Anonymous says:

    It looks like we all learned the same thing. Men think women showing skin shows insecurity.

    I guess I find it kind of ironic though. If you are insecure, why aren't you insecure about showing off your body? For me, that was one of my biggest insecurities so I hid it best I could. I was skinny and so I dressed in layers and wore padded bras to fake a shape. It was only after I gained some weight in my 20's that I stopped being so insecure about my body. Funny now that I'm in my 30's I'd like to take a few curves away!

    I will not let anyone take away my security. I like how you say to think like a secure person. So next time I'm going to ask myself what would a secure person do in this situation? And repeat as many times as necessary until it becomes second nature!

  17. 67
    CAROL LIVIN FOR GOD says:

    Go Ann from Rockwall Tx
    you rock on with dignity
    Blessings sweet seista
    Carol
    Albuquerque nm

  18. 68
    April says:

    Ann from Rockwall – –

    Thank you for posting that! I've been that other woman, (now step-mom) and I just want to say.. if you think you were nervous.. So was she.

    And even though you don't know it, you've opened my eyes greatly!

    April

  19. 69
    Denise Ferrell says:

    oh gosh.. I have been trying to catch up for weeks. First my book was late, then I tried to catch up on my reading .. it seemed I was always a chapter behind. Maybe we need a remedial group. oh well I'm back here tagging along.

  20. 70
    Anonymous says:

    Beth and girls,
    PLEASE READ.
    This afternoon as I was getting ready to "lead" a small group of young ladies in Breaking Free I looked back. I looked back to my workbook from the first time I "took" Breaking Free in 2006. I glanced at the paraphrasing of Psalm 119:92 and then was curious of how I paraphrased it today. Remember I had not read this for four years. I was amazed beyond amazed. I still can not get over it…
    2006
    "If I had not found strength in your word I would have died from a broken heart."
    2010 (word for word!!!!! No LIE!!)
    "If I had not found joy in your word I would have died from a broken heart."
    Can you believe it! Four years later the exact sentence EXCEPT I have so much more than just strength to face one more day… I have JOY!
    It would take a year to tell you how much your ministry has changed my life. So I will leave it with a simple thank you. Thank you for answering the call so that so many of us can be set Free.
    Sincerely,
    Melissa@sprouls.net

  21. 71
    Tamara says:

    Tamara
    Kelowna, BC, Canada
    late 20s
    single

    1) When I read the comment from the guy whose wife changes her outfit 5 times before going out his conclusion that women face insecurity all the time so it becomes second nature, I found myself going: I already knew that.
    A "that's new to me" moment was when I read that men see showing more skin as a sign of insecurity. I probably would have vehemently denied that one if someone just said it to me, but staring at it in black and white on the page I had to acknowledge it's truth – especially in my own life. The more insecure I am in a situation, the more I will try to dress cute or in fashion and that means less clothing, not more.

    2) A weak will plays into our insecurity because when we realize the lies that we believe that make us insecure we often have to decidce to have a different response than our emotional response is. We have to choose to think differently before we emotionally respond differently. And, if we have a weak will we won't be putting the effort in to change our response and will continue to follow our emotional response of insecurity.

  22. 72
    Smith says:

    1. knew guys picked up on our insecurities, they play off of them- come to our "rescue" and hook us in for the kill.

    2. if we were stronger and more secure with ourselves they, men, wouldn't have anything to feed off.

    30's
    separated
    Raleigh, NC

  23. 73
    Cassie says:

    1)New to me is how we size ourselves up to other women. I do it sad to say now I know why.
    Already knew showing too much skin was a sign of insecurities.

    2) I guess for me a weak will is like having no back bone and being bent over so many times by others and not being able to stand alone, if that makes any sense.

    Cassie

    20's married
    Bishop,Ca

  24. 74
    Janice Ruth says:

    Janice
    60"s widow
    Lake Forest
    These are answers for Chps 10 and 11.
    1. Even though I know I shouldn't, I've tended to view men as gods. I'm usually in awe of them and want to be accepted by them. My Father died when I was 5, so he couldn't be anything except perfect in my head. I believe that is why I lean in that direction.
    2. The differences in insecurities has to do with understanding. I never understood why the men in my life withdrew. I couldn't figure them out. Now I see they are running away while women want to get physically,mentally,and emotionally closer.
    3. I just love the way Beth used the Chiastic structure (I learned this literary term in the Esther Bible study)to show why we must leave omniscience to God the Father. "We pry because we are insecure and then we are insecure because we pry."I can recall so many instances when I had that experience. I don't do that anymore.
    I turn it all over to God.

  25. 75
    CeeCee D says:

    Can't sleep with sinus infection, so I'm reading more SLI. I am realizing that this message is SOO true. We have our reasons for insecurity (my mother said I have…) (my diagnosis is…)and we choose to believe ? May the sweet spring rain of the Holy Spirit wash away the pain and prepare the hard ground in our hearts to grow as we receive His Word.

  26. 76
    bigdogmom says:

    Did I tell you Beth, how much I love you?
    Kels

  27. 77
    The Bee says:

    Good Morning Siesta's and Beth,

    I have been watching Wednesdays with Beth on Life Today with James and Betty Robinson and I have to tell you, I can not wait for the DVD's "A Beautiful Mind"! They have to be coming soon!

    I have yet to answer the SLI questions for this week though I read the two chapters over again. I am an underliner and highlighter and note taker on the pages on which I am reading that make a point to my heart and mind. I often write out prayers that come to mind in my reading.

    Those who borrow my books often get more than what they barginned for…

    Beth I am writing because I want to tell you that the Lord has been using your material to speak to me! I woke up praying Lord, let me deborah cecila barrett hipp with you manifesting yourself through me…this is a big thing for me!

    Thank you

    Deborah

  28. 78
    Kristi says:

    Kristi
    Rogersville Tn
    Married
    Now 40s

    1. "that's a new moment": Men are repelled by open displays of female insecurity. I always thought men loved female insecurity. It would give them the chance to dominate. I really thought this because I feel a lot of men are the cause of female insecurities. I think in some casses this on purpose. I guess maybe it is unknowingly and they don't like the end results.

    2.This chapter was amazing for me. I think I've highlighted something on every page.
    A weak will causes me to give into my insecurities. I have go before God every morning asking for His strenght. "In Christ you are so much stronger than you think you are". This couldn't me more true and has been the story of my life.
    I am amazed every day that God knows everything about me and still chooses to forgive me, help me and even use me for His service.
    I know I can't fight my insecurities without God's strength. When I think I have, they come creeping back up. I know every ounce of my strength comes from God. He will help me thorugh this just as He has everything else in my life.
    Phillipians 4:13 I can do all thing through Christ who strengthens me. Something I quote every day. And can eaisly add that I can do nothing without Him.
    Praise God for His love, grace, and mercy.

  29. 79
    Rebecca says:

    I can't answer the questions quite yet, but I just have to say that several times recently I felt the old insecurity creeping up in a social situation. SO, I stated to myself slowly, "She is clothed with STRENGTH and DIGNITY." I could feel the Holy Spirit right along side of me! 🙂

  30. 80
    Elaine says:

    Beth,
    First off, let me say that I have enjoyed reading the book–well, maybe 'enjoy' is not the case all the time—if you know what I mean. I believe it is being used by God in my life and the lives of scores of other women to gain back our sense of security.

    I am having a bit of a problem in chapter 13 that I wonder if you might be able to clarify. On pages 246-248 you use the verses in 2 Timothy 3:5,6 to talk about people who exert power over us and may be emotional predators in our lives. The problem is with your choice of verses to 'support' these statements. From my understanding of this section of Scripture, the beginning of 2 Timothy 3 is speaking of the characteristics of unbelieving leaders–false leaders during the end times. Their form of godliness will be wrapped up in their 'appearance' — they will look good to everyone, they will 'act' good and people will be deceived into thinking they know what they are talking about and they will try to turn people from the Truth. I know there are unbelievers who take advantage of others both physically and emotionally and they do it on purpose, but I also know that among believers there are other believers who make us feel small and insecure. I can see where you make the connection between these verses and your points but I think it is a bit of a twisting of the Word to do it. Are there other verses that can support these statements?

    That being said, I think I have more underlined in this chapter than any of the others to this point. Thank you for reminding me that I DO have a choice and because of Christ IN me I have the power to make that choice and make it stick.
    I and some friends are soooo looking forward to the simulcast!
    Blessings,
    Elaine

  31. 81
    MMMom says:

    Just finished reading chapter 11 and couldn't wait until I finished all my reading to comment.

    I knew all the signs of insecurity. I just have to look in my past, in the mirror and in my makeup drawer but to hear it from a man really brought it home for me. I really didn't give them credit for being able to figure us out. Am I driving my husband crazy?

    I am so looking forward to what you promise, Beth, in the next few chapters how we can stop sizing each other up. That might be the road to stop driving men crazy too.

    I'm going back to reading now.

    Sharon
    San Antonio
    40's
    married

  32. 82
    MMMom says:

    Sorry I meant I just finished Chapter 12 not 11. I'm on to 13!

  33. 83
    Missy says:

    Way to go, Ann in TX! What a tough situation to be thrust into and you handled it beautifully!

    You are an amazing example.

    Missy

  34. 84
    Anonymous says:

    Leanne
    28
    Married
    Mississippi

    1) I already knew that men didn't want to give their hearts to insecure women. I was surprised to see that insecure women show more skin and dress less modest. The more I think about it I can see it. I always thought men wanted women to dress like that to look sexy. I thought I was insecure because I have never dressed that way. I see now that I am secure enough in my marriage that I don't have to dress like that.

    2) A weak will cause me to give into my insecurities. I have to choose to be secure and know that I have God's strength in me to be secure.

  35. 85
    Anonymous says:

    I already knew men had caught on that women try to impress and compete with other women- my grown sons had "outed" this insight long ago.

    I think at this age I was aware of these impressions from men.

    I have been very "longwinded" but THANK YOU for Chapter 13- it includes topics that are not discussed enough with our young women and with those of us who have experienced similar issues.

    Beth, as an "older" siesta, I URGE anyone considering dating, relationship or marriage to read chapter 13 carefully and maybe several times. If she identifies or recognizes any of these patterns, seek Godly counseling ASAP. Oh, how I wish I had had these insights 40 years ago.

    I greatly appreciate you reminding us that our "power to choose" to take the insecurity "bait" or not is Key.

    My Lenten devotion this morning was titled "Interior Freedom"- it paralled page 243 beautifully. "There is no commandment that says we have to be upset by the way other people treat us, we can enjoy our freedom as human beings and refuse to react in the same old way." Father Thomas Keating

    God CAN tend to insecurity. I'm TOTALLY convinced that the Spirit of Christ's resurrection power is the only answer to our deepest insecurities.

    I think Paul sums it up for me when he said " I do the things I do not want to do"- my will fails me in my area/areas of greatest stronghold- the underlying issue/wound/trauma behind any of my insecurities blindsides my intention/will and I have often done the very thing that keeps my insecurities alive and well.

    I've just started to study the Overeaters Anonymous literature and it is amazingly helpful and insightful regarding my 48 year struggle with compulsive overeating. I've tried EVERY other avenue to break this stronghold- I believe that only our Lord himself can heal me in this area – Not my will but yours be done, Lord-

    I also have lived with an emotional predator(he is not aware of his abuse, it is so deep seeded)- I didn't recognize the severity of the issue because there is a generational pattern that "looked" normal.Simply recognizing the verbal aggression for what it is- has given me a new perspective. I'm not sure exactly how God wants to solve this issue in my life after so many years. I have asked God to release me but the process is still underway.

    As Beth directs, if you are not married, "do not marry an emotional predator" and if you are not sure what that looks like, get help FAST!

    Lots of Love and blessings to you and yours- there is no way for us to express how much we appreciate your ministry- What a blessing you are to women, Beth Moore. I do not have a younger sister, however,since you are my Sister in Christ, I can just adore and celebrate the direction you have taken in your life and ministry. A 60 yr. Old, Appreciative Siesta

  36. 86
    Heidi A. says:

    This is a little off topic but I have read so many posts about struggles with divorce and infidelity that after ready Ann from Rockwall’s post, I have decided to share. As I have said before, my husband had an affair while I was pregnant and informed me when my son was 6 days old that he was in love with someone else. I was willing to forgive him and wanted to save our marriage but he left for good 6 months later. I was devastated and if there was a stronger word I could think of then devastated I would use it.

    But this is what I wanted to share. When my son was around 4 we were watching Cinderella and he made a comment completely on his own that what “she really needed was to get rid of that step-mother”. In an instant God spoke to me that no matter how much this situation was not of my choosing that one day my son would have a step-mother and for his sake he HAD to think this was a good thing. I told him that not all step-mothers were like that and I started to pray that whoever came in to my ex’s life would love my son as her own.

    My ex did remarry about a year later (not the one he had the affair with thank goodness) and it killed me but I was always positive about her and never said anything to my son or my ex about her. She has been very good to him and I thank God for that.

    But let me tell you what God did for ME…The step mother started coming to everything…school stuff, practices, games…everything. My son was playing on a new soccer team in 1st grade and there the 3 of us would sit. Me just still trying to adjust. My ex chatting away and his new wife saying a little here and there. At the end of the season one of the Mom’s that I became friends with told me that all the Moms thought that I was the NEW wife and she was the ex. It seems that my ex and I got along so well that she seemed like the outsider. Not in a flirtatious or inappropriate way but that we seemed to be partners.

    Not long after that I had several teachers and PTA Moms tell me they had never seen two divorced people get along better trying to parent their kids. I was floored every time it happened. Despite my devastation from my divorce, God gave me the strength to do the right thing for my son and we are all better off because of it. I so needed to hear that.

    Today my son is 13 and we all still sit together at school programs, concerts and awards assemblies…my ex, his wife, me and my boyfriend…sometimes I sit by her and sometimes I sit by him. If you ever think that you can’t do it because it is just too hard, just know that God can do it. He did it for me and He will do it for you.

  37. 87
    Anonymous says:

    I usually read myself to sleep, but SLI keeps me up…either laughing or reading to my husband or just intrigued…..I keep begging my husband to tell me how he responded to the post, but he swears he can't remember. I wonder how many of us cheatedand read their response.

    One thing that made me sad when I was reading the men's insecurities to my husband is that he told me that he can't find men strong in faith to bond with.

  38. 88
    Anonymous says:

    1. Already suspected that the more revealing the attire a woman chooses to wear in public, the greater the insecurity she carries within herself. Didn't know the guys had strongly considered that possibility as well.

    2. A weak will makes it more difficult to take captive one's thoughts, to determine to fix the mind on what is "true, good & right." (The path of least resistance seems to be that which follows feelings and emotions only. That's a train wreck waiting to happen.)

    Bertie
    50's
    Married
    Houston

  39. 89
    Kathy B says:

    Great story, Heidi A. Bravo! You and Ann both impress the socks off of me. God, indeed, is our strength. And you testify to that in an undeniable way. You're living proof (no pun intended :)) that Nothing is impossible with our God.
    Love to you,
    Kathy B

  40. 90
    Kristin says:

    1.) I knew this information already, but I didn't really realize that guys knew it too.

    2.) A weak will enables someone else to steal our God-given security. We have to remember who we are in Christ.

    Quoting from your book, "We must call on Him to fight our battles for us and through us and to stand us on steady feet in a confidence only He can supply. We must ask Him to bring forth the women in us that we didn't even know we were – women of substance and confidence…"

    Kristin
    AL
    30's
    Married

  41. 91
    Amby says:

    Amby
    Lake Stevens Wa
    37yrs old
    married w/ 2 teenagers & 1 college student!
    I would say the moment I already knew from chapter 12 is when my husband tells me how beautiful I am(he really means it!)HOWEVER I still doubt or question the words and allow myself to feel insecure at times depending on how I am viewing myself at that particular moment, not so fair to him!

    Really couldn't connect with an answer for chapter 13's question but I must say that the begining of this chapter was by far one of my favorites! I felt soo empowered and pumped up with some of the "self-talk" that I wrote out note cards to post in my home office as daily reads and reminders!I love that I am constantly teaching my teens about choices & how through this book God is reminding me that I too must practice what I preach!

  42. 92
    Joyce says:

    The already "knew moment that" self-condemnation makes you feel more insecure. I guess I knew that because I have been in the place where you spiral down.
    A "weak will" keeps you from making changes and makes you more insecure. It also keeps God from helping us and doing His will.
    I liked what you said:
    You can hurt my feelings, but you cannot have my security.
    You critize me and may be right, but you do not get to damage my security.
    You might embarrass me, but I refuse to let it fall on me so that it smothers my security.
    You my be intimidating and threatening, but I rufuse to hand over my security.
    Then you told the story of a woman who had cancer and her breast removed. Now that is power, she kept her security. If God can work in this lady's life_I pray I can trust Him with my security too.
    It is a continuing process for His glory.

  43. 93
    Anonymous says:

    I have always seen the duplicity in the men who complain about our attention to weight issues. My husband tells me, over and over, (and I think he means it) that my weight doesn't bother him. At the same time, if a lady he doesn't know does something he doesn't like he will refer to her as "fat"–sometimes with some other adjectives and nouns thrown in. . .I realize this is a problem he has but I allow my insecurities to fall prey to his comments.

  44. 94
    Lisa says:

    1a. I never really considered that men get insecure. Since many of them don’t actively talk about their feelings, it was news to me that they are actually insecure too.
    1b. I already knew that women tend to compare themselves to other women and look for reasons not to get along rather than get along. I wish that wouldn’t happen so often.

    2. If we are weak willed, then we will allow worldly influences to guide us. Being pulled in many directions ultimately leads to insecurity because it is impossible to please everyone and because we have lost our identity. If we maintain the strength to set healthy boundaries, be aware of our convictions, and know who we are in Christ, then we will be secure. A long time ago, someone told me that your thoughts create your emotions. If our thoughts are healthy, then our emotions will be positive and secure. But, if our thoughts are negative, then our emotions will be negative and insecure.

  45. 95
    Laura#6986 says:

    1. I already knew that the “all lust and zero literature” romance novels can cause great damage. They caused great damage to me as a young woman and skewed my expectations of what men should act like in a relationship. I once heard a Christian women’s speaker even refer to them as “emotional pornography” which shocked me, but that also gave me the determination to break my secret addiction to them.

    My “that’s new to me” moment was that showing more skin shows more insecurity.

    2. As I was praying through Ch 9 on Monday of this week, the Lord gave me a feeling of peace, relief, and welcome that grew steadily with every new page. It seemed like He was as excited as I was to be saying “So Long” to the bad friend of insecurity. I still don’t completely understand the full meaning of the “welcome”, but I know that was the word I was sensing from Him.

    Now since Monday I have experienced 4 MAJOR tests on my security in just 3 days, any one of which would have normally sent me into an emotional meltdown of catastrophic proportions. At first, I could feel the “weak will” kicking in, and that old familiar feeling of being powerless. But each time I have whipped out my Bible verses tucked in the back cover of my book and have made a choice to claim and believe truth. I AM CLOTHED IN STRENGTH AND DIGNITY! However, after the 4th test in 3 days, I started feeling discouraged and wondering if the fight will always be this relentless.

    But then this morning I started reading Ch 13 and realized that what the enemy is meaning for harm, God is meaning for good! Sisters, each time we react in a new way to old triggers, we are spiraling UP! (pg 241) Now I am praising and thanking the Lord for all of these wonderful opportunities to spiral up in such a fast whirl. Get me back up to the fresh air, Lord!!!!

    Note to Ann of Rockwall, Tx (MARCH 25, 2010 8:44 AM) – I felt such a kinship to you this week and I rejoice with your new God-given confidence! What a precious gift God gave you to allow you such a big “spiral up”!!

    Laura
    40’s / single
    Spearfish, SD

  46. 96
    Kristi says:

    It's me again… The one who talked about the razor blades and giving them to my girlfriend last week in an act of surrender. Well, I just have to update you all!!!

    My 2 sweetest friends decided we needed to get together and "celebrate" this step I have taken and to help "cement it" in my heart and mind. So, we did. On Thursday, 3/25/2010, we took a walk, dug a hole at the edge of a wooded area, and buried those razor blades. Buried them!! We then stood in a circle, holding hands and tissues, and my friends prayed over me. Then!! (I couldn't believe this move!) One friend pulled a small container of OIL out of her pocket!! Yes, and they prayed and anointed me with the "oil of Joy" right there in the back of an open field with the PA turnpike about 100 yards away, trucks honking, the whole bit!! I soaked the front of my shirt with all my tears (and my runny nose) and when I tried to speak, I had such a lump in my throat, all I could squeak out was "I'm in such AWE!!" That the God of all creation would take the time to mend my broken soul!! Praise God! May my lips never cease to thank Him!

    We walked the mile back to the house singing "The trees of the field will clap their hands… as you go out with joy!" Then we laughed at ourselves as we shared our lists of 10 things you wouldn't ordinarily know about us… It was great!

    This morning, I came across this verse… 2 Thess. 3:5 (NLT) "May the Lord bring you into an ever deeper understanding of the love of God and the endurance that comes from Christ." Need I say more?!

    Kristi
    Philadelphia

  47. 97
    abraham's daughter says:

    1. I already knew that, "Men are repelled by open displays of female insecurity." Not only repelled, but sometimes just scared to death!
    2. The truth written on top of page 253, "So often when we women claim that we don't know what to do, the truth is, we do know what we need to do. We're just scared to do it," was addressing pornography. But it has such broader application. Sometimes I'm just too emotionally close to a situation to be able to be objective. I have learned to ask myself–what advice would I give to another person in this situation? Somehow that helps me to separate my emotional bias.

    Terri
    Grand Rapids, MI
    50's and married

  48. 98
    Kristi says:

    To Heidi A.-

    Bless your heart for how you have persevered through such difficult circumstances with your husband's new wife. (Gee, that doesn't sound quite right, does it?!) I am also a step-mom and can relate to how life tosses us around in a way that only God can make use of…

    Last Thanksgiving, I made dinner for my husband's ex-wife's parents!!! I'm not kidding! And it was a blessed day!

  49. 99
    The Coleman Family says:

    1) I never realized that men even cared about our insecurities, or were on to us. I think part of that is that I tended to hide my insecurities. I was the one who got quiet.

    2) A weak will kept me from being secure because I just chalked it up to, "that's just the way I am." There's nothing I can do about it. It wasn't until I was in a situation and, I believe God allowed it to be very exaggerated, that I desired a will to change. I believe God put that there for me and I thank Him every day. Because with His strength and will I never would have received His healing.
    Tamara
    Highlands Ranch, CO
    Married
    30's

  50. 100
    Diana says:

    I think I am the most unaware woman on the face of the earth. I did not know that skin exposure was out of insecurity, I just thought those woman loved the attention and wanted more. I did not know most woman size each other up.. I haven't that I'm aware of, but probably have been on the receiving side and totally unaware – maybe blissfully too/ maybe needed to understand the game more?.

    I totally loved page 230 "We as men have failed to assure women they are God's most beautiful creation. A woman's insecurities could be drastically reduced if men would love as Jesus did (does)".

    As for ch 13. I think our weak wills keeps us down, and it allows the lies from the enemy to flourish and think we are unable to do anything about the situation we find ourselves in.
    Thankfully we do have a choice and a great God who has provided us truth, and a sweet teacher who has brought this truth to us in her loving book.
    As she said "When we decide to be strong willed about what God strongly Wills, that, beloved, is the epitome of empowerment."

    Beth you are a wonder to this woman and thankful to know you through your works for our Lord.

    Diana
    44
    Surrey, BC Canada

Leave a Reply

To receive a daily digest of comments on this post, enter your email address below: