Ask Curtis

Hey Siestas! Do you have a question for Curtis? I’ve been thinking it would be fun to do a Q&A with him. If you want to ask him something – about men, ministry, marriage, family, the Bible, etc. – leave your question in a comment and we’ll get him blogging!


126 Responses to “Ask Curtis”

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  1. 101
    Anonymous says:

    WOW! Curtis, after reading all the questions, I fear you must feel like Niagra Falls has just hit you…such needs and so many sincere and seeking hearts out there. Praying that God give you the wisdom you need so that that which is helpful for building our Siesta's up according to their needs may benefit all who listen in.

    You are one brave man to attempt this! LOL!
    So Cal. Siesta,
    Pam H.><>

  2. 102
    Karen says:

    Does it seem difficult as men to think of yourselves as the “bride of Christ”? As a woman, it seems easy to submit to God and to think of myself as a bride but I’ve always wondered if men are bothered – and therefore distance themselves from church or God or religious conversations – because the bridegroom/bride descriptions are hard to wrap your mind around.

  3. 103
    screamofcontinuousness says:

    Curtis, do you wish sometimes that we hadn’t opened this can-o-worms all over you? You must feel overwhelmed after reading some of the pain and deep wounds that are out here in blog land.

    I’ll be praying for you.

  4. 104
    Anonymous says:

    Hi Curtis,

    I have two beautiful boys that the Lord has entrusted me with.
    So I look forward to hearing your answers. God Bless!

  5. 105
    Anonymous says:

    I also ache for my husband to stand up and take on the role of spiritual leader in our home. How does a Godly woman step out in leadership if her husband sits on the sidelines?
    And any insight on what is up with all those video games?? I’ll admit, I’ve prayed for God to destroy the lab top a time or two!

  6. 106
    Anonymous says:

    Please write a Bible Study for men. One for all ages, my husband is 50 years old and the Word is still not interesting to him, though he does try. Please write something.

  7. 107
    Nancy says:

    As believers, how can the evangelical church equip families to work together as a whole to make a difference in our culture.
    We are very individualistic. Yet the letters and Gospels where written to the church as a body of believers, not just individuals. However, many of us read the Word as only a letter to me. My relationship with God. While the Church is made of many I’s, the New Testament is about not only the purpose of Christ’s death, but His purpose after the Resurrection, establishing Churches and leaders. Leaders in the family, Missions, etc. This was the purpose of sending the Apostles out. The church I attend is going through a study by Jeff Reed called the First Principles of Disciplned Living. The purpose is to re-look (is that a word)at what our role is according to Scripture in our Community and training leaders. We have discussed Habits of the Heart, Mission of the Church, Family Habits. It is the how do we impliment the precepts? How as a father and a husband do you work out in your family, habits, even now, to train and lead your family in their role in the church as a whole, not just in your home?

  8. 108
    Anonymous says:

    I met my husband at church in the Singles. We have been married for 6 years and when we were dating he seemed really on fire for the Lord. Then, when we got married that passion seemed to die. The first year of marriage I would “try to hold him accountable”. BAD IDEA because he is a huge renegade.
    My daughter said in the car today (4 yrs old) “Mommy, daddy never reads his bible. He is always on the phone, computer, or watching the news.” It broke my heart but she nailed it. He is so distracted with lesser things. After our first year of marriage I quit asking him about anything regarding his walk with Christ.

    I even used to get so consumed praying about it that I would take the focus off of my walk and be a little prideful…so I err on the side of not praying as much for him either in that area. It seems none of my praying in the past seemed to change anything. I was chalking it up to the individual will and the fact that God is not going to make him spend time with Him.

    Any thoughts?

    Another serious question…so many women I know, including myself are married to a man that does not desire sex. I have prayed every prayer under the sun asking God to give me wisdom and reveal anything I needed to know and after years…no revelation.

    Then, I noticed that this really seems to be a trend and women feel so isolated because all they ever hear about is the man wanting to have sex and why does their man not want to??

  9. 109
    Anonymous says:

    Curtis, I am not married nor do I have sons, but I have several Guys that feel like sons to me. Guys that I have taught in Sunday school and still mentor.
    I agree with so many of the ladies that they need a Bible study. A Bible study for men like Beth’s for Women. Please pray about LPM doing this. Our Men need this!!
    Thanks for all that you do! LPM is a blessing to me! Shawn, Georgia

  10. 110
    Anonymous says:

    I’m asking why does Christian Men act like unsaved Men. If my Marriage doesn’t work I’m living with an unsaved man now. I’ve told the Lord I don’t want another Man. Some of the Christian Men I’ve seen I’d rather be lonely.

  11. 111
    Anonymous says:


    My question is a different from many of the others here. God is bringing to light in many of our congregations eyes that the lead shepard (senior pastor) is also the lion in waiting (1 Peter 5) or the “emperor who has no clothes.” I am praying for the spiritual warfare to be relieved further, so that Christ can bring healing and wholeness can come to our congregation. I know I must have patience and that Christ will deal with in his own time. Many of church leaders are deeply troubled by this situation and are in a great deal of emotional pain. As a pastor, what insight can you offer me on how to pray?

    Thank you for this opportunity to ask questions.

    Mary Ann, Woodbury, MN

  12. 112
    Lori says:

    My husband is in a small group Bible Study. He has mentioned looking for a study with DVDs to accompany it. Do you have any suggestions/recommendations?

    Thank you!

  13. 113
    Anonymous says:

    what is the main thing you think a marriage needs to work and last for all time?

  14. 114
    Forgiven Much says:

    I’m 35 with 3 kids (4 yr old twin boys and a 6 yr old little girl). I had to leave their dad 3 years ago due to abuse. Do you think Christian men today consider me as a possiblity? Are guys really that scared of having step kids?

  15. 115
    Kristine says:

    Wow Amanda didn't realize what she stepped you into! I would like to read your responses! :0)

    I had some questions but they were asked already. Plus God helped me come to this conclusion with my questions. So I would like to help you a little…I have been married 20 years. since I was 16 & he 18 (non Believers for 7-him years in our marriage & 14-me) He left me and my five children for almost 2 years. This was after he got his "Godly Wife" he prayed so long to have. I literally in my ignorance & being a newborn Christian asked some of these questions of him!! Crazy huh!? That is why he left me. Partly anyway. He has been home now 2 years. God is good at restoration but it takes obedience from both parties. More from one in the beginning (husbands will come to God's submission eventually).

    I had always wondered what kind of man Beth was married to. Because she is such an awesome Teacher. I often wondered if she was the spiritual leader in teaching her children. I wasn't sure how to do this, since my husband doesn't lead. I do it though, with God leading every step & word. I have been learning how to be a better wife, mother & daughter of Christ through Beth & others for years now.

    I answered my own questions & can help answer some of these woman's questions by simply saying "be still & let Got work in our Men". LITERALLY. Don't set a time table for our husbands. I have been waiting along time to see the fruit of me shutting up (obedience) & just loving him with God's truth. Studying Gods Word, praying God Word over him & our children. Most importantly changing myself first. I still, after being saved for 6 years have yet to have my husband pray with me, have him be more spiritual, read his Bible more & spiritually lead our family. Oh and communication! Talk about Mars & Venus, we still have that happen too. But God in his patience & mercy with us women sends us to places like this, a Blog to find help. Remember everyone it is God who is in control not us. Not our timetable, anxiety, insecurity, impatience, wants, or our control. It takes more than anyone can imagine to let go & let God. WE can do it!! Watch God move those mountains in our Marriages!! Patience lovely Ladies! Our patience & confidence is found in Christ.

    Although I do see God moving in our marriage. May be not entirely in ways I want or even in ways God commands. None the less my husband is growing, more importantly WE are growing.
    Feel free to edit!

  16. 116
    Melissa Terry says:

    First I thought I don’t know what I would ask him, but then it donned on me 🙂 I didn’t read through all of the questions to know if this was asked already.

    What is your favorite thing about your wife?

  17. 117
    Lauren says:

    Who intimidated you more when you and Amanda first started dating – Beth or Keith? 🙂

  18. 118
    Flo Smyth says:

    It makes me sooo sad to read how many women are desperate for their husbands to be leaders of their homes and to have a close relationship w/Christ ! I have been blessed for many of my 30yrs of marriage in this area, but I also have seen how hard this has been for my husband at times.
    Curtis thanks for keeping it real in your role as an example for Christ.

  19. 119
    tracy l. says:

    What are you thoughts on women leaders in the church? Deacons and ministers particularly

  20. 120
    Lynnette says:

    Dear Curtis,

    I hope you volunteered to do this before your sweet wife did it for you!!

    I would appreciate your manly insight on ways to engage men in conversation about their professional work for more than a perfunctory minute or two. What else do guys like to talk about with women on dates?

    I'm with Lindsee Lou on her questions and comments. To add to that – you know Houston, so where would you recommend Christian single women meet Christian single men (in addition to church and Christian groups)?

    Did you lead Breakthrough in CS? I was in grad school there at I think the same time but didn't know of it. At the time, I lived in a house on the street (Ash) behind the center with the B&N and drove by the office that moved in after I'd been there a couple of years. So, (whew) when were you there?

    Lynnette in Houston

  21. 121
    Anonymous says:

    HI all

    I have struggled as a Christian to remain in constant connection with God. I often hear others saying ‘God told me this or that’ in a very clearly fashion? How do I differentiate the voice in my head from that of God’s.

    Also, any suggestions on how to stay on track and not stray. It’s like I take one step forward and 10 steps back. I am not living in any known sin life but my prayer life and bible study suffer.

    Thank you.

  22. 122
    Anonymous says:

    There were some awesome questions on this blog. Are you going to answer them via the blog because I would love to hear answers!!!


  23. 123
    katiegfromtennessee says:

    Hey Curtis!:)

    Okay, thinking…

    How did you come to know the Lord?
    When did you know that seminary is where you needed to go?
    What kind of couples studies do you reccomend?
    What is your favorite parenting book? (other than the BIBLE:):)
    How can women most effectively pray for their husbands? What should they pray for the most?



  24. 124
    Maria says:

    Curtis – I’m praying for you.

  25. 125
    Kathy says:

    As I read the question on how to help your husband grow spiritually, I just had to comment. Curtis said, Make sure that your vision of a spiritual leader is not too narrow. Mine was until one night when my husband showed his spirituality like no other. Our 18 year old son had died that morning in a motorcycle accident. It was time to go to bed and our 3 girls just stared. They were so frightened and didn’t want to go to their lonely rooms. My broken-hearted husband got our camping equipment out and made a huge bed on the floor for those girls in our room and they slept there until they were ready to go back to their own rooms. But that wasn’t the only thing. When we got into bed and were all dying from the pain, he said, “Let’s pray” and he started his prayer with, “Thank you Lord for taking us through this day.” and then he went on with prayer for God’s help and comfort. I always saw myself as the “spritual” one because I did all the Bible studies and such, but I don’t know if I could have prayed that prayer and what I saw that night was true spirituality and I loved him more at that moment than ever before. Never underestimate your man!

  26. 126
    Amanda says:


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