Input on the Light Side

OK, Siestas, we’ve had an intense couple of days so let’s lighten it up a little bit! As a bunch of you know, I’ll hop on a plane Monday and head to New Orleans to tape the updated version of Breaking Free. I’d love to have some input from you and, goodness knows, nobody can tell a story like a siesta. I can’t wait for you to see how much I used your survey comments in the Esther Bible study. I’ve already got some great stuff from you for Breaking Free from a post several months ago where I requested testimonies about captivity or freedom. This time I’m asking you if you have some fun stories I might want to use for illustrations. You don’t have to worry about how they’ll fit. That’s mine to worry about. You just spill the beans.

Here’s what I’m looking for: CLEAN stories of something funny or amusing that has happened to you or someone you know really well that wouldn’t mind you tattling. Here’s a perfect example: Travis and Angela Cottrell’s youngest son, Levi, recently wrote his kindergarten teacher a thank you card for showing a particular kindness to him after his surgery. You know how every little boy gets a crush on his teacher. Levi’s just wild about her so, unbeknownst to his parents, he got into Angela’s wallet and pulled out the stash she’d just cashed at the bank and sealed it in the card. It wasn’t until the teacher called that they realized the money was gone. It gave a whole new meaning to trying to repay someone for a kindness. That’s the kind of stuff I’m talking about but it doesn’t have to be sweet or about children. It can also be stupid and embarrassing as long as it’s CLEAN!

The real challenge is going to be keeping them short enough to post and for all of us to read. I’ve noticed something in blog world. Most people are so pressed for time that they pass over really long entries and comments so, unfortunately, some of the comments that took the most time to write get read the least SO, just one paragraph, everybody!! I think we could all use this today!

Thanks, Sisters! I can’t wait to read them! I can always count on you guys.

You are loved here at LPM!

PS. OK, I have laughed at your stories until my stomach is killing me. (Maybe I can blow off my sit-ups tonight.) This is the latest one that nearly killed me:

Don’t know how you can tie this in to anything but here goes. Years ago I had a toothache late in November and went to the dentist. He and his assistant were examining my tooth when the asst. said, “Did you see all that food in there?”. I, of course, can feel the heat in my face and am thinking, “oh, I forgot to floss!” Then my dentist said, “Yeah, it’s a real smorgasbord.” At this point, I am just mad but voiceless because of all the equipment in my mouth and the assistant says, “Yes, the receptionist really out did herself this Thanksgiving.” 🙂 God knew how long to leave the equipment in – perfect timing.
November 6, 2008 10:56


201 Responses to “Input on the Light Side”

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  1. 101
    Melissa says:

    I was on a break from a choir rehearsal and decided to phone home to check on my husband and sons. He had just finished putting my 2 1/2 year old Joshua to bed, and had had a conversation with him about asking Jesus into his heart. Joshua didn’t want to ask Jesus into his heart quite yet because he thought that the only way in was through his belly button, and Jesus’ beard would tickle WAY too much!!

    Joshua is now a sensitive 4 1/2 year old who loves to memorize Scripture and sing Bible songs.

  2. 102
    Suzanne says:

    This happened several years ago… My very sweet mother-in -law had moved in with us for six months while her house was being built.My children were about 6 and 9 years old at the time. Ne Naw had brought her little miniature schaunzer Rudi along with her and the kids as well as our dogs got along beautifully. Anyway, “Rudi” had become very sick and had to be put to sleep. We were all really sad and NeNaw had made arrangements to have him buried at a pet cemetery. Several days had passed and we received a notice from the post office that there was a package that we needed to pick up at the post office. I had several errands to run, so the kids and I ran by the post office to pick up the package. The small brown cardboard box was addressed to my mother-in-law and it said it was from the Smokerise pet cemetery.The kids were very curious and all of the sudden I started to put two and two together… I thought. surely this could not be Rudi!!! Well, you guessed it… they had cremated him and sent him back to us!!! How creepy!! I called my husband at work and we felt that we could not upset Ne Naw and the kids with this. After my husband got home from work, we snuck “Rudi” out to the corner of our horse pasture and gave him the proper burial that he deserved! To this day, my mother-in -law does not know anything about this. I finally told the kids( now 26 and 23 ) and they could not believe it!!! We had a good laugh about it!!
    Praying for a great week in New Orleans!

  3. 103
    Ramona says:

    I am nearly 50 years old but will never forget a funny thing that happened when I was 5. A traveling evangelist had come to our church and he gave a very descriptive message on Abraham’s sacrifice of his son, Isaac. The sermon included a full color slide of Abraham, knife raised high over his son Isaac, tied up on the altar. In fact, he left this slide up as he called for parents to come forward to “lay their children on the altar”. Much to my horror, my dad went forward!!! My mom was home sick that day and the minute we got home I ran into the house screaming “don’t let him near me, he’s trying to kill me!”
    We all still laugh about the time my dad tried to kill me. I am a grateful daughter to have a dad that loved me that much!!!!

  4. 104
    Kari says:

    Our youngest daughter spends quite a bit of time with our pastor and his wife (Oma), who has cared for her since she was an infant. Last year, at the age of 3, she was “helping” to make dinner and in the midst of washing vegetables said, “You know, Oma . . . my mommy and daddy sleep together.” Needless to say, it took a lot of control on the part of our pastor’s wife to not completely lose it and fall on the floor laughing. Our pastor had a lot of fun with this when I arrived to pick our daughter up later that evening and greeted me with something to the effect of “Oh, we know what’s going on at your house!”

    Ah, out of the mouths of babes!

  5. 105
    Jina says:

    Hmmm… I’ve embarrassed myself enough to last a lifetime…

    I’ve borrowed a line from you Beth, this was a “blonder than I pay to be” moment.

    John and I were newly married, flying from the East to the West with a pitstop in Chicago. It was a beautiful spring day, sun was on the Lake as we were coming in.

    John had figured out, using the old hollow ear phones, that he could speak into the end and sound would carry to the ear piece. So, being a gullable bride and overwhelmed by the view, I listened to the “cockpit” as he suggested while I looked out the window.

    He had it down, the lingo and all. While I was listening to the exchange between the posing control tower and cockpit, they suddenly started talking about a couple on board that would be apprehended when they arrived at the gate. Their last name was Patton! I wheeled around in my seat(in desperate fear and horror) to catch the turkey read handed. He had the tube up to his mouth and the biggest smile I had ever seen. Thank the Lord that is the closest I have come to having a run in with the law!

    Hope you have an amazing time in Louisiana! I’ll be praying for victory, stamina, and assurance of your Protector as you step out on this battle field. May women be moved toward freedom!

  6. 106
    Darlene R. says:

    Last May, while I and my kids were at our church, one of our pastor’s wives brought in some new Yorkie puppies that they were taking care of until they were old enough to be sold. Of course, my kids were in awe over these tiny pups. Ben,my youngest,was five at the time and was particularly interested in the runt of the litter. I went on with what I was doing and the kids went on playing with the puppies. Later on that afternoon, our pastor’s wife came up to tell me that Ben had offered her a quarter for the smallest puppy, not realizing that they are worth “a bit” more than that. He knew they were selling them, he wanted one, and a quarter was all he had. She wanted so badly to sell him one, but obviously could not…thankfully! :)The one dog we have is more than enough!

  7. 107
    Jana says:

    I have a 4 year old son who enjoys singing. Lately he discovered he can change one or two of the lyrics in a familiar song and create a new “verse.” Today at pre-school he must have been reviewing shapes because the verse he sang while he was getting ready for bed was:

    I’ve got the joy, joy, joy, joy
    down in my triangle..where?
    down in my triangle..where?
    down in my triangle!

    I don’t know if that’s humor only a mother could love but it sure cracked this mommy up!

  8. 108
    Anonymous says:

    For the past two summers I have toured with a Christian singing group. The first summer I was really nervous and shy, so everyone got the impression of me as a sweet, breakable, girl, no teasing allowed (making me lonely for my family’s loving teasing)! Well, one night after a concert I went to a host home with one of the outgoing girls on tour who was afraid to befriend me for fear of damaging me. Our hostess was a sweet, single woman. She lived in an old house with a set of skinny, very steep stairs. After putting our stuff upstairs, we started downstairs with the hostess. I was in a cute skirt which always made me feel graceful, but I still had my slippery dance shoes on. As we went down I chatted happily, till suddenly I found myself flying gracefully down the stairs on my behind! I would have gone all the way down if the hostess hadn’t stopped near the bottom, causing me to land straddling her, with my skirt hiked more than halfway up my thighs! (definitely a “so glad there’s no guys around” moment) Her lap dog gave one look at me and started barking his head off. The hostess stood dazed a minute, then turned around (with me still straddling her, helpless with laughter) and said in a calmly resigned voice, “Are you ok?” The best part though, was that the girl from tour stood at the top of the stairs laughing helplessly, and every time we looked at each other that night, we burst out laughing until our concert makeup was washed off by tears. We are now good friends, as she often recalls the most graceful klutzy thing she has ever seen me do!- anonymous

  9. 109
    gg2002 says:

    Jackson my 6 year old grandson is playing football (you know how important is in Texas) – his younger brother Carson is 3 years old. At one of the games one of the little cheerleaders started cheering “GO JACKSON” “GO JACKSON” Carson was real upset that someone was yelling for Jackson and then she said “GO NUMBER 2” and Carson yelled back at her “NO, NUMBER 2 MINE, NO, NUMBER 2 MINE” – he didn’t understand about the job of the cheerleader!!! So funny!! Of course Jackson was proud that the little girl was cheering for him!!!

  10. 110
    mizbitz says:

    Ok. One more and then I’ll quit…
    Hopefully, this will pass the clean test…

    When I was a student at HBU in Houston, my younger brother was graduating from High School in TN. So, I decided to take a couple of girlfriends home with me for a few days and treat them to a vacation, Nashville style.

    My job during the 18 hour drive was to navigate from the passenger seat and keep the driver awake. The other person would then be sleeping in the back seat. Being the talkative chick (and the only one who knew where we were going), that worked out just fine for me.

    It was starting to get late… about 11:00 pm… We had been driving towards Nashville for several hours and were really only about and hour and a half out of Memphis. The driver of the car was getting ancy and squirming and finally said,”This thing is bothering me.” So, I said, “Well, just unhook it.” A minute or two later, I asked, “All better?” to which she responded,”Yes.” Then, I said,”Good. But when you get across the Tennessee line, you’ll have to hook it back up because it’s illegal in Tenneessee to drive without it!” I had thought she was talking about her seatbelt… She was actually talking about her bra!

  11. 111
    Anonymous says:

    I worked with preschool children (ages 3 & 4) at our church art camp this summer. Enjoy hearing the children talk to each other & just listening-One day we were walking down the halls of church in line with a group of about 15 children, one child starts singing "THE B-I-B-L-E". Instead of singing the line of the song that's the book for me, the child sings "That's the book I NEED!" I told our preschool director, that child's words to the song were so true especially in 2008! Sweet children stories-Does it get any better?

  12. 112
    Eve Z. says:

    Several Christmas’ ago my family was at my father’s home for our gift exchange. My father had put in a request for a collector doll, a piece made of china. My sister had been taking a glass blowing class, and let’s just say she was not the top student. Well we swithched the present, and put one of my sister’s pieces into the Royal Dalton doll box. And I have rarely seen everyone laughing so hard at one time as we did when we saw the look on my dad’s face when he pulled out this little green piece of blown glass that was supposed to be in the shape of a fish. We actually did present him with the requested gift, but could not miss that opportunity!

  13. 113
    Joni says:

    I was in a hurry one morning to get my three children to school – ages 2,4 and 6. My two year old daughter decided to put on her brothers’s houndstooth church coat that covered her head to toe. To avoid a potential monkey fit, I allowed her to wear it and we raced out the door.

    When I dropped her off at school in all of her bulk, I began explaining why I allowed her to wear the cumbersome coat. As the teacher removed the coat, we simultaneously spotted a pair of my UNDERWEAR around my daughter’s neck like a prized necklace.

    And not just any UNDERWEAR – it was the leftover maternity, elastically challenged kind you pretend you don’t own.

  14. 114
    baseballtraveler says:

    While we were living in Taiwan this summer, my 5 year old daughter and 3 year old son attended an “English speaking” preschool. They were the only non Taiwanese children and there was only one teacher who spoke english, but I guess it was english speaking to them! They loved school and usually enjoyed trying the new foods that were presented to them at breakfast and lunch. Every day I would ask them if they tried anything new, which usually occured daily. I really encouraged them to try at least one bite of everything. One of the last days we were there, I asked the usual question. My five year old looked at me so seriously and said, “Mom, I tried everything except the clams and octopus. I was starving, but I just couldn’t eat the octopus tentacles. They still had the little suckers on them!” She thought I would be disappointed because she didn’t try the octopus tentacles. However, I just laughed and told her I didn’t blame her, I couldn’t have eaten them either!

  15. 115
    Anonymous says:

    When I was a student nurse (about age 22) I was sitting in my anatomy and physiology class. The professor asked how archaeologists knew when a skeleton was male or female. I shot up my hand and she called on me. “A female skeleton has an extra rib.” She just kind of stared at me and the class was extra quiet. After she recovered she asked how I got that. I told her because Eve got it from Adam. IT MADE PERFECT SENSE TO ME! LOL!
    By the way, we have same amount of ribs. Sigh…

  16. 116
    Anonymous says:

    I enjoyed being a first grade teacher and all of the silliness that goes with it. I built an outdoor classroom to use while teaching Math, Language Arts, and Science. My class has been out in the outdoor classroom and came back in to the classroom after 15 minutes or so. We went on with the rest of our day. An hour or so later, one of my boys used the restroom that is attached to our classroom. He came out..white as a sheet. I asked what was wrong and he said he needed my help removing a tic….from a most gentle boy part. I felt horrible that I couldn’t help him and had to call his mother to come to school to removed this tic. That has an embarassing phone call for all of us. But, he is tic free and probably 20+ years old now.

  17. 117
    Anonymous says:

    When I was 30 I had a hysterectomy and never had children.. God blessed me with a husband that had 4 children and years later we were able to adopt his grandson(he lived with us since he was 3 months)and his sister who was 12…He would aways ask why he did not come from my tummy and I would explain that mommy had a sick tummy so God used his biological mommy to bring him to us; however God had always placed him in our hearts…Well one day he came home from Sunday School to say he had added me to their prayer list to “please pray for my mommy’s sick tummy so she can have a baby” (I was 54 yrs old)…my daughter
    and I laughed so hard…We said Can you imagine the look of surprise when they realized I was old enough to be his “nana”…God is so GREAT!

  18. 118
    Anonymous says:

    I had told my older daughter who plays the piano well to practise a few Christmas carols in good time to accompany our family while we sang during the season. My 4 year old immediately piped up and asked her to also please learn to play her favorite carol as well. My 12 year old asked her which one would it be and her sister replied,”You know that one. It is called How the Heck do the angels sing”?!

  19. 119
    Amy T. says:

    This happened about five years ago. I was away at a retreat for the weekend so my husband was at church with our two daughters. Our youngest daughter Hope was 3 years old at the time. She had been given a package of candy for a reward in Sunday School. They were Smarties. Well as he and Hope and our other daughter Brooke were walking down the very crowded hallway at church Hope proceeded to lift up her dress and reach into her underwear. My husband said “Hope what are you doing??!!” And she pulled out her Smarties and said “I am getting my candy,,, I had no where to put them! I don’t have any pockets.” Thankfully they were still wrapped in the package! My husband was a bit embarrassed, but we both thought she was very resourceful for a 3 year! She loves candy and she wasn’t going to lose her Smarties!

    Amy T. in MA

  20. 120
    Vicki Sandifer says:

    Many years ago I had my two girls and my two nieces and we were riding around town and I had to use the bathroom. My youngest was 3 and I had never really gotten over her birth just yet and so when I had to use the bathroom it was an emergency every time I had to go. So, we stopped at the local Pizza Hut for me to use the rr. We got in the rr and I was leading the pack and the girls were behind me. Please keep in mind I had to go really really bad! The girls kept staying “feet -feet feet” I did not know what they meant and I had to go so I kept on towards the door. The door was one that slings out towards you so with my right hand I took hold of the door and with my left hand started pulling down my pants. I got in closed the door and finished pulling my pants down and then I sat down. I sat down in a rather large woman of colors lap – while she of course was using the restroom! When I felt her warm legs under mine I got up and turned around and her face – oh my word -her face! It was a riot. Ok she was sitting there speechless and wavy me away with her hands. She was mouthing the word NO NO But unable to get any sound out. Please understand I had to go really bad and all this happened in a much less time than it takes to recant it! I jumped up and sad “oh, I am sorry.” and stepped out of the stall after pulling my pants back up! The girls were dieing – it was so so funny. I at the time did not think so – I might add. I was traumatized for sure!! The girls were all ready to leave and I said no I have to go. The lady finished – we waited for her to leave the stall and while she washed her hands I went into the now empty stall and used the rr. I washed my hands and we went out. Did I mention the lady was a waitress there at the Pizza Hut? I guess in my mind I was thinking that the woman had left. But no, when we got out of the rr the lady was standing with all the other waitresses and pointing at me and saying “There she is that is the one.”

  21. 121
    Anonymous says:

    I wasn’t able to read this post until this morning. I hope it’s not too late to add my story because I think you’ll love it. It ties in perfectly with the Breaking Free video teaching on breaking free from generational prejudice.

    When my son Jordan was in kindergarten, his teacher (“Mrs. W”) was a wonderful black lady and he was crazy about her. (We are white.) It was her first year teaching. When he promoted to second grade, his new teacher (“Mrs. A”) shared this with me. During the first week of school, she was asking her new students just some get-to-know-you kind of questions, and one was “Who was your teacher last year?” When it was Jordan’s turn, he replied (obviously wanting somehow to express his fondness for Mrs. W), “Mrs. W was my teacher. Did you know she’s my cousin?” Mrs. A shared this with Mrs. W, of course, and the next time Mrs. W ran into Jordan, she winked at him slyly and said, “Hey, cuz!” I love to remind Jordan about this. (He’s now 19.) Oh, Father, who created us all, help me to see similarity before difference and people before color!

  22. 122
    tracy l. says:

    The Why the Chicken Crossed the Road post is one of the funniest things I’ve ever read!!!

  23. 123
    Rachel says:

    I teach third grade at a Christian school. These are a few of my favorite comments, as of late.

    During prayer requests, a little girl asked, “Please pray for the people down in Texas.” When I assured her that we would, but asked why specifically we would pray for them, she replied, “There’s a big swarm of flies down there.”

    Also, a few weeks ago, a little one came to me. “Mrs. H,” she said, “Johnny said the M word!” After asking her what the M word was, she looked around carefully, leaned in to me and whispered, “Midget.”

    🙂 Kids say the darndest things!!


  24. 124
    Anonymous says:

    Hi Beth,

    I love this idea!! There are so many I could share about myself, but the first one that comes to mind is not about me. (Being an absent-minded person myself, I especially appreciate it.) I have a really good friend in law school who was having some stomach trouble last year. (Actually, that part was really serious. He was having a lot of tests run to make sure everything was ok. And, he's ok which is great news.) But, while he was going through all of that he would try to eat really bland foods. So, he would make a turkey & cheese sandwich everyday. One week in particular, he thought "Man, this turkey is a lot tougher than usual." But, he didn't really think much of it. He continued to make sandwiches as usual for the rest of the week. Well, finally as he made the last sandwich, he realized that he had forgotten to remove the wax paper from the cheese. Ooops 🙂

    Those of you that read this, please say a prayer for my friend. I am dying for him to come to know Jesus. He comes from a strict Muslim family. I sense his discontent with Islam, but I think he's afraid to really give Christianity a chance because he doesn't want to betray his family.

    Love you siestas!

  25. 125
    tracy l. says:

    When I was in high school but not yet allowed to date, I was excited that my parents were invited to a Christmas Open House at the home of this boy I liked. This was in the 80’s so my hair was really BIG (you would have been so proud Beth!) and held in place with ALOT of hairspray. As we arrived at the Open House and were greeted at the door, I got to close to a open flame candle and my hair CAUGHT ON FIRE. My dad quickly snuffed it out but it smelled SO BAD. I was horrified.

  26. 126
    Sandi Krakowski says:

    I have owned internet businesses for 12 years, working in ecommerce, marketing, consulting and so forth. Well about 10 years ago we owned a amazingly profitable kitchenware store. The neat thing was we openly and publically and unashamedly always gave God glory, always sold ‘Christian” written cookbooks, inspiration for mothers right next to the kitchen appliances and tools. Well one day as I was writing up some promotions for a book during the Y2K season (that never happened help us Lord!)- the book title was “Dont Get Caught With Your Pantry Down!” It was a great tool for cooking with less, what to have in your pantry, how to stock up, how to spread ingredients over 3 meals, etc. Well, when the title went out into our mostly Christian newsletter that month via email to over 2500 families, all I can say is I must not have had enough coffee that morning because the letter “R” was missing in the title as I gave my review how good the book was! Thank you Jesus people knew I was a godly Christian woman, because when it was brought to my attention that I wrote a review on a book that ‘looked’ less than Christian, teaching how not to get caught with something down other than your pantRy….. it was a hoot! What a moment in the life of a Christian business woman ! HAHA 🙂

  27. 127
    karilynn says:

    I work at a hunting lodge in SD (Beth you were there once !!) and we have this fake hand that circulates around in places so as to scare people! My coworker put it in the microwave one day and we were hoping to scare a couple of the ladies with it. Well, we used the microwave before they did but then I said, “Oh, lets put it back in there because you know it will make them scream!” A couple hours later we had totally forgotten about it and I went to use the microwave, opened the door and I screamed so loud and slammed the door shut!! Oh, did everyone get a laugh out of that.

  28. 128
    Rachel in Louisiana says:

    Being a dog lover, you might get a kick out of this one. My husband taught our young yellow lab to jump into the back of his truck with the tailgate up. One morning my husband was home from work and volunteered to stand with our younger kids (who were 1st graders at the time)at the bus stop. He took our lab, Beau, out with him. In their boredom of waiting for the bus my husband decided to show Beau (our lab)off for the neighborhood kids. He made Beau sit, shake, speak and then the biggest trick: “Go get in the truck Beau!” Our dog proceeded to run full throttle into our driveway and jump right into the back of our Tahoe, with the hatch type window in the back, instead of the truck. The problem? The window wasn’t open! He smacked right into the darkly tinted window and slid down the back of the car onto the driveway like something you’d see in a cartoon. One of the mom’s told me she laughed so hard she laughed so hard she almost peed.

  29. 129
    Jill says:

    When my son (now 11) was in 4 year old preschool we had this conversation in the car:
    “Cameron I hear you were put in time out today, can you tell me about it?” (MOM)
    ” He hit me first, that’s why” (CAM)
    “Did you hit him back?”( MOM)
    “No” (CAM)
    “Do you think that maybe we should think of other ways to deal with bossy kids?” (MOM)
    “Let’s stop talking about this, you are ruining my day!” (CAM)

    Let’s just say I had no come back for that.
    Funny thing is Cameron was a sweet quiet boy that it shocked me so much that this had happened I wanted to talk about it, he obviously not soo much!

  30. 130
    Anonymous says:

    My oldest daughter has a 7 year old daughter and a 6 year old son. My youngest daughter has just found out she is pregnant. My son was asking my 7 year old granddaughter if she was excited about having a new cousin to which my granddaughter waved her hand and said ‘kinda’. My son then asked her if it was because she was worried that she wouldn’t be receiving as much attention to which she replied, ‘I am a little concerned about that…’

  31. 131
    standfirm says:

    Okay, I think I may have posted this little story months ago in response to some other post, but it is one of my favorite, funny kid moments.
    A few years ago, my 9 year old daughter was loving Hannah Montana. Huge fan. Well, we were in the airport and I had bought her a magazine to pass the time during our layover. All of a sudden she says, “Wow, Mom, it says here that Miley Cyrus got to sing for the First Lady.” In dead seriousness, with eyes huge as saucers, my then-five-year-old son said in astonishment, “Miley Cyrus sang for EVE?!”
    Still cracks me up! 🙂

  32. 132
    Vicki Sandifer says:

    My 3 year old Grandbaby girl, ask her mama the other day when her hair was going to have chickens. Her mama said baby your hair is never going to have chickens. She wanted to know why Abigail thought her hair would have chickens. Background – About two weeks earlier Abigail’s big sister came home from school with lice and we had to pick all the eggs and bugs out of their hair and so Abigail said if her hair had eggs the she knew her hair would have chickens!

  33. 133
    Wendi says:

    Here is one I think you will appreciate Beth. My 4 year old daughter is into pink. (What little girl isn’t?) Out of the blue she asks me if people wear clothes in Heaven. I told her yes. They wear bright, pretty white dresses. She thought about it for a second and then responded, “When I was in Heaven last time and saw Jesus, there was a pretty, sparkly pink one.” Precious.

  34. 134
    Anonymous says:

    You know how teachers make assignments for students to tell about themselves? My son was in
    1st grade and was a basesball player, so of course he wrote about that. He was very proud of the fact that he played “sinner” (center)field.

  35. 135
    alf says:

    My 5 year old neice (youngest of 4) was saying her prayers with her mom…she said a lovely prayer thanking God for all sorts of things. Before ending her prayer with “in Jesus Holy Name” she thanked God “for giving us sin”…My sister could hardly contain herself! God must have been belly laughing too! Her sweet soul had been misunderstanding “forgive us our sins” and thanked God for giving them to us!

  36. 136
    Dawn T. says:

    We were visiting NY, NY and after spending the day in a baseball stadium and walking our poor feet off we had finally arrived at the nearest subway station to our hotel. You know how NYC is still under renovation and construction (did that ever stop?) and there is scaffolding everywhere… the four of us are walking in a line like little ducks with my husband bringing up the rear. I just happened to look back to see if he was still behind us when at that very moment he wasn’t looking and ran into one of the scaffolding poles, DING! I thought I was going to wet my pants and all but sat down on the sidewalk laughing! Now a ‘good’ wife would have rushed over to her man to make sure that there was no need to contact the life insurance company, but NO, I haven’t laughed like that in months! Of course after I could breathe again I made sure he was ok! Much Love, Dawn from NC

  37. 137
    Carrie in Minnesota says:

    As a young adult I was trying to break into the world of musical theatre. I finally landed a show a local dinner theatre. A high school group came to see the show. Afterward, the teacher asked if some of us actors would come to her school and speak to her theatre students about the business. I jumped on the chance to go! The presentation went smoothly but lunch didn’t go so well. I stopped in the restroom for a quick potty break. It wasn’t until after I returned to the lunch table after walking through the entire eating area that someone gently placed their hand on my shoulder and said, “I thought you might want to know… the back of your skirt is tucked into your pantyhose.” I wanted to crawl under the table and never show my face again but I gently gave my skirt a tug and gradually regained composure. To this day I’m not a big fan of pantyhose.

  38. 138
    Anne says:

    I work in downtown DC and when you pull up to my building’s garage, the guard has to check your car with one of those mirror on a stick thingy’s that he can roll around under the car. Well, I pull up to the garage one morning and the guard steps out of his booth and in front of my car to start his check, and as he steps out, he slips and falls smack in front of my car! For the 20 seconds he is down, all you can see is me in the driver’s seat and two feet sticking out from in front of my tires! Totally looked like I had run him down when I pulled in. And the garage entrance is right on the sidewalk of a busy street in DC so the looks I got from the people walking by! Ahhh! The guard was fine – btw. 🙂

  39. 139
    Kristin says:

    It was actually my best friend’s husband who did this. He was at a local gym/swimming pool and had just played basketball. He went to take a swim and took off what he thought was going to leave him with his swim trunks remianing. He took a few steps and then realized he was COMPLETELY NAKED! In some sort of robotic motion he’d taken off everything! He grabbed his clothes and headed into the locker room and left the place immediately. He is the most NON-attention seeking guy, so he was even more mortified when, on his way out, he overheard someone say that there was ‘some naked guy’ at the pool. This one, over a decade later, still brings tears of laughter to my eyes!

    Kristin in NM

  40. 140
    Melanie says:

    Golly…I think I could leave you quite a few! But, here’s one that I continues to make us laugh…My husband and I had nursery at our church last January. My 4 year old son was in there with us and he was playing with the babies and having a grand time. My husband was holding one of the babies when I heard:

    “JUSTIN! We don’t say that! Where did you hear that from?!”

    Justin, “I don’t know.”

    Brad, “Justin, you aren’t in trouble, but we don’t say that. Where did you hear that from?”

    Me, “What did he say??????”

    Brad whispers, “Hi Samuel! Welcome to Hell.”

    Me stifling laughter, “What??”

    Brad, “Justin, where did you hear that?”

    Justin, “From the movie Mommy bought.”

    Me, “WHAT?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!”

    Then it hit me….it’s in Ratatouille. That movie went on the shelf. Out of the mouths of babes. 😉

  41. 141
    Anonymous says:

    Recently I went to the dentist to have a tooth that had broke off looked at to decide if it could be fixed or have to be pulled. I really don’t enjoy dentist visits but I had to go. I hopped out of bed thru my clothes on brushed my teeth, talked to my husband for a couple of minutes then grabbed my coffee and was out the door. I had been under stress I was taking care of my mom who had cancer. The tooth of course had to be pulled so I was talking to the receptionist about life and we were laughing. My dentist asks if I’m going anywhere from there? No I’m going back home .Why? Your shirt is on inside out! I looked down and we all had a laugh. Going home I thought some days just start inside out!

  42. 142
    Dina says:

    I teach 5th grade and we are reading fiction stories. We read a story called “Three”, about a little boy who nevers lets his mom reach three when she counts. Well, he decides to let her so that he can find out. My kids and I then had a discussion about “What happens when your parents get to 3?” One girl said, “I either get the silent treatment or ‘the look’.” Another boy chimes in, “THE LOOK! It burns your soul!” We cracked up. 🙂

  43. 143
    Anonymous says:

    This ia a story on myself…
    I had taken my youngest son to the dentist it is 1984 and if you remember the style in Houston Texas at the time mexican peasant dresses. I guess that isn’t a style that is very flattering for my body type. Anyway when the dentist came in to work on my son he asked me when I was due? I thought fast and trying to keep my self esteem healthy I asked how did you know? He said I could see it in your eyes. Well, since I wasn’t expecting I could never go back to that dentist. I have never worn a peasant dress again!!!

  44. 144
    Debbie Williams says:

    When my grandson was about 4 years old we were on vacation in Florida lounging by the hotel pool and he wanted to get in the big pool but I told him he had to get in the kiddie pool – He said, “Granny, I want to get in the “CAT” pool – not the “kittie”
    pool. We all nearly fell off our lounge chairs laughing. We still love telling that story because of the way kids hear what we say and see it in a way we would have never thought about.

  45. 145
    Anonymous says:

    My mom’s friend has the cutest 4 year old little girl who desperately wanted to answer when the doorbell rang.
    In her big-girl Texas accent, she said, “Who IS it?” with mom standing right behind.
    Crossing her arms, little girl replied, “I SAID: Who is it?”
    Little girl had enough. “I CAN’T READ! I SAID: WHO IS IT???”
    Mom opens the door to the UPS guy bent over, laughing so hard, he can barely stand up.

  46. 146
    Anonymous says:

    I was waiting anxiously with my 4 year old son for a check in the mail in time to make a deposit so it would be posted on that day. I grabbed the mail from the front door,hurriedly picked up my son and the rest of the deposit and dashed out the back door and noticed that I did not mail some mail so by that time the mailman was at the house in the back so I handed him the mail and drove directly to the bank. As I was looking for my deposit at the bank, I realized that I had given it with the mail to the mailman. I said a prayer out loud “Lord, please allow me to find the mailman and get my deposit” We drove around and thankfully found him and my deposit. When I got back in my car, I said to Jesus,”Lord thank-you so much”. My four year old son said with his big brown eyes, “Momma, Was that Jesus?” speaking of the mailman (a bald gentleman in a mail-man’s outfit)

  47. 147
    Renee says:

    One Sunday, my 6 year old son came home from church and exclaimed loudly that he wanted to be baptized. I was so proud and asked him what his reasons were for wanting to take this spiritual step. He looked up at me with his sweet brown eyes and said, “Mama, I am ALWAYS hungry and thirsty when they pass that stuff around and have to be baptized to get it!”

  48. 148
    Anonymous says:

    We were having work done on our house and when I arrived home the workers had left the door open. I immediatly went inside to find my INDOOR cat. No sign of her. I ask the workers. Nope, they haven’t seen her. I go outside and begin looking for her. My husband gets home and I tell him. He asks if I have any tuna. He began to look for her while I jump in the car to go and get some. On my way to the store there is an animal in the road that has been hit…it is pretty flat…I jump out of the car and run over but I can’t tell for sure it is her. I know it is grey. I drop to my hands and knees to get a closer look. Now, you need to know it is rush hour traffic and it is dark and I am in the middle of the road on my hands and knees. People are having to drive around me. I grab my phone and call my husband to tell him I found her. “Where are you?” and of course he comes. When he gets there I am still in the road, still on my hands and knees hysterical and he walks out into the road and very calmly begins to lead me out of the road. (He has our young daughter in the car and she has now seen her mother.) He pats me and calmly says “Baby, that was a possum…did you not notice those huge claws and that tail.” (Later after I have calmed down I go to the store and he calls me.. the cat is safe and sound in the closet sleeping)

  49. 149
    Simple stories girl says:

    With boys who were seven and ten years older, we quickly began to observe a frequently repeated comment when we took our new baby girl and her brothers out into public. People would lean down to see the baby, dressed from head to toe in pink, and coo over her. They would then look at our two elementary age sons and a comment began resonating from their lips much more often than I liked. “Oh, how wonderful for you. You FINALLY got your girl.” Much to my frustration, few seemed to think about the impact this statement might have on our two young sons. One night, I decided to address the issue at the dinner table. With the boys in our presence, I shared with Rob how once again, someone had given us the “finally” statement when we had been out that day. “Do these people really believe we spent the past ten years having no life, just waiting for Libby to be born?” My question was meant as much for the boys to hear as for Rob to answer. I went on to express my concern with a brilliant statement. “The next time someone says that to me, I think I am just going to smack them.”
    Within the week, I took the boys to an appointment with a new dentist. The hygienist came out to graciously greet our family. Sure enough, she bent over the stroller, cooed over Libby, looked me straight in the face and said, “Well, you finally got your girl.” Immediately, Mark began pulling on my arm. Before I could address him, he spoke in a clear voice, “Mom, didn’t you say you were going to smack the next person that said that?” As you can imagine, there was nothing for me to do but smile and wish the floor would open up to swallow me.

  50. 150
    Mary says:

    Amanda — thanks for posting about the We are all so excited and don’t want to miss an opportunity to connect with others.

    Beth —
    I am praying for you as you prepare and I’m praying for everyone who attends that she will be open to hear God’s truth for her life; that she will respond to God’s call on her life and that she will experience the love of God.

    See you in New Orleans…..

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